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This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX.
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Hello, my beautiful people. Welcome back to the Moments Podcast. It's actually been a really long time since I recorded. I took my first week off of the podcast last week just because there's a lot going on and I've been super focused on just kind of
hanging out with family and like doing things for myself. I haven't really focused on social media or work at all and it was really good for me, but I definitely missed you guys. There are so many points where I was like, should I just record anyways and just and just talk about, I don't know, but I didn't end up doing it and I'm kind of glad that I didn't because it gave me a lot of time to reflect and really figure out what I wanted to talk about in this episode. I
And this is kind of an episode I've been wanting to do for a while and I've been thinking about it for a while just because with the year coming to an end, there are so many valuable things that I learned this year. I don't know how to explain it, but more happened to me in this year of my life than the other 19 years that I've been alive.
I think just between, I don't know, the pandemic and when I moved to Hawaii and just buying the van, like so many things happened so fast that when I look back on this year, it's truly crazy.
Just realizing how much can happen in a year, in a month, in a week, I don't even know. But I wanted to title this episode Moments in 2021 Takeaways. I don't know if that's exactly what I'm going to call it yet, but we'll figure it out. But what I'm basically going to be doing is sharing with you guys a lot of the things that I learned this year. And I also put one of those answer question things on my Instagram story and asked what you guys learned this year. And there were a couple of really good things, so I definitely added them in.
And I'm going to share them because I may not have realized them throughout the year, but reading it, I was just like, wow, I want to focus on incorporating that into 2022. You know, isn't that crazy? Guys, it's about to be 2022. What? And the pandemic started in 2019. Holy cow. Right. It did start in 2019. I think. Anyways, not really the point. Let's just go ahead and get right into it. Now, to simply put it, this is the
most important thing that I learned this year, not everyone is going to understand. And that goes in so many different ways at so many different levels. Not everyone's going to understand what you've been through or what you're going through or what you're going to accomplish or what your dreams and goals are. It's not going to make sense to everybody because we all have these minds that are focused on different things and they've all been taught different things throughout their childhood and by what they're surrounded with. We
We all have a different mind and we all have a different goal of what's right and what's perfect and what's supposed to be done in life and how life is supposed to feel. So when you really start to accept that, it's powerful because for so long people would question everything that I do. They're like, well, you can't do this because of that or you can't do that because of this. And I would sit there and I would listen and I would be like, well, maybe they're right. Maybe maybe they have a point.
They might have a point, but here's the thing. If you're confident in what you're doing and you're aware of what you can create and what your passion is, then what you're doing is the right path. You're on the right path as long as it feels right for you. And the same thing goes with when someone has something to say, like, oh, you don't even get what that's like because you've never dealt with blah, blah, blah, or your situation isn't even that bad. Stop giving in to what people say.
You know what you've been through. You have to value that and you have to know your own worth when it comes to situations like that. And I see this a lot with mental health. People be like, well, your anxiety is not that bad or you just don't get it. And that's OK. You don't have to understand what they've been through. But at the same time, you should never take that experience away from yourself. And I don't know if that makes sense coming out. It makes sense in my brain. But you know what you've been through.
You know the work that you've put in. You know what you're capable of. You know your potential better than anyone else on the planet. So don't discredit yourself. Don't let what people have to say have such an effect on you because they're not going to get it and that's okay if they don't get it. It's another thing that we don't need to do is force people to understand everything that we've done or everything that we've been through. They're not required to get it. Just like we're not required to understand what anyone else is going through.
I didn't initially write this down to talk about it, but now that I'm thinking about it, I will say it. Just like no one's going to understand you, you're not going to understand everyone. So if someone has this crazy dream or goal or passion that you don't like, there's no need to tear it down. There's no need to make them feel bad about what they want to do. Because again, we're all meant to do different things. We're all on this earth and we all have a different path.
It would be kind of stupid if we all had the same one, so we shouldn't try to force people to live the exact same way as us. That defeats the whole purpose of being unique and being one of a kind, you know? And that being said, it kind of goes into the next one I wrote down, which is that not everyone is going to like you.
And this is such a tough one for me. Like, it really is. I'm still having a hard time just processing it because I try to be a likable person. I consider myself to be a likable person. And I've always been a people pleaser. I want to make everyone happy. I want to be the best person ever. I want to inspire everyone. But again, I can't do that.
No matter what you do, no matter how good of a person you are, there's always going to be people who don't want to see you thrive and don't want to see you grow. And you just kind of have to realize that it's going to happen and it's okay. As long as you know that you're living with good intentions and you're doing what you love and you're passionate about it and you're doing your best to be a good person, that's all you can focus on. That is the key.
If we spend every day of our lives trying to be good enough for other people or trying to be liked by other people, eventually we're not going to like ourselves, which is a very interesting concept. But once you do grasp it, it just makes your life simpler. You just start to understand that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing and what anyone else has to say doesn't matter. And I'm not saying don't take advice from people. This is more so...
under the impression that someone is just like, what you're doing is pointless. You're doing nothing. That's what I'm talking about. Advice is a good thing. We love some constructive criticism. But moving into the next one, who you surround yourself seriously affects who you become and your mental health. And I've always known this. People always say this. I've heard it so many times. But this year I experienced it and I really started to process it.
I'm sure I've said this before, but the five people that you keep closest to you is who you're going to become. And under that same impression, another analogy, or I don't know if it's an analogy, whatever it is, if you surround yourself with 20 people who are constantly working on themselves or taking care of themselves or inspiring you, the odds of you also starting to take care of yourself are very likely. But that goes the same thing, the same way, the other way around. If you're around 50,
20 people who are constantly going out or smoking or doing drugs, there's a high chance that you'll end up doing the same thing. And that's not to say that those people are bad people, but it's to say that you need to be aware of who you want to become. And when you look at the best evolved version of yourself, who is she or he? What are you doing? Those are the kind of people you want to keep around you. The people who are going to motivate you, the people that you look up to,
And this goes the same way with consuming media. If you're constantly consuming media that's really bad for your mental health and affects you very negatively, you're not going to get better. Consume things that are good for you. And I promise that you'll start to see a huge difference. And I understand that in a lot of cases, there are certain people that are impossible to avoid. But in other cases, it is avoidable. So I just want you to be aware of that. If it's something that you...
have been thinking about and haven't acted on, here's your sign to take action on it. I was surrounding myself not with bad people, but with people that I didn't necessarily see personality traits in that I wanted to have. I'm not sure exactly how to make that make sense, but moral of the story is that you need to be with people who are evolving you and just people who are making you feel good.
And yes, I know I just said not everyone's going to like you. People are always going to have something to say about what you're doing and what your dreams are. But those aren't the people that you want to keep closest to you. The people that you want to keep closest to you are the ones who understand when you have this crazy dream that might not make sense right now, but they are so on board and they're like, I know you can do it. I believe in you. I know you're capable of that and want to see you do it.
If you found yourself with friends who don't want to see you thrive and grow and be happy, then those aren't your friends right now. And it's possible that you're just at different points in your life and that is very much okay. But don't keep that around you 24-7 because you have to be there for yourself and you have to look out for yourself at any given moment because I'll get into it later, but you have to be your own best friend. You are the person you're always going to have. And actually, while I'm on the topic, I'll just get into it right now.
friendships are going to come and go relationships are going to come and go even if it feels like they're not in some cases they do and sometimes it's just out of your control but you are the one who's stuck with you until the day you die if you can't be kind to yourself and show yourself compassion life is not going to feel like this beautiful world because if you treat yourself badly you're
You're technically surrounding yourself with people who don't evolve you. Therefore, you never feel evolved. You never feel like you're growing. And I know it's such a hard thing to do, especially when it comes to insecurity or just self-doubt. It's so hard to believe in yourself. It's so hard to look in the mirror and be like, you know what? I got this. Or you know what? I look beautiful today. But you just got to start by saying it out loud. Write it down. Think it in your mind. You just have to start somewhere. And eventually, you start believing it.
This goes, again, back to the people you surround yourself and the media that you consume. If you constantly watch things that are negative, you always feel negative and you start to believe them. If someone tells you something that's not true enough times, eventually you believe it. So when it comes to yourself, just start telling yourself to love who you are and to love who you're becoming and just watch it happen. It's really one of those trust the process things because it won't happen overnight.
That's okay. The best things in life don't happen overnight. So throughout this year, I want you to work on that. And I say this one all the time. I say most of this all the time. So if you've heard any of these other things from different podcasts, that's because, well, clearly they were the most important things I took away from this year. And it probably won't be the last time that you hear them. But I want you to be your best friend. That's what I want you to work on this upcoming year. Is no matter what, even in your hardest days or the moments that you're the most insecure,
Just convince yourself that you're amazing and that you are where you're supposed to be and that eventually it's all going to make sense because I promise you it will. I'm talking from experience here. I learned this the hard way and I wish I knew at the time that it was just simple enough. I just wish I knew it was as simple as telling myself that I was good enough. You got this. I promise. Moving into the next one. I love this one so much. I actually saw it
Um, I don't know if it was in a book or a TED talk or a quote or a TikTok. I don't know where it came from, but it'll never be your turn if you can't clap for others. And it has stuck with me since the second that I saw it. I consider myself to be someone who just understands that everyone's got a different goal and everyone's on a different path. But there was something I loved about this quote so much, and it really just put things into perspective.
We have to be happy for other people. We have to want to see people thrive and grow because if anything, that only inspires us and it only motivates us. And we don't want to be the person that people don't want to have around. And we don't even realize that sometimes we are. I see this a lot in myself when it comes to my best friend, Lissette. You guys all know and love her. But she wants to be an accountant. I don't want to be an accountant. And every once in a while, I'll check myself and I'll be like,
Lisette, why do you want to be an accountant? Why don't you want to do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? And then I really have to sit back and become aware of the fact that that is so unnecessary of me. Her life is not my life, just like mine is not hers. And I can't sit here and try to change what her passion is. That's not our job. What is our job is being a good person and living with good intentions and being kind to one another and wanting to see everyone happy because seeing happiness in other people is
can really just make us all happy, I promise you. If someone's doing something and you don't know why, just let them be. Let them go. Let them do what they love. They're on their path and you're on yours. Which leads me into the next one. Other people's actions are not your responsibility. This is a cool one to think about because all of these takeaways kind of connect to one another. But if someone's giving you a hard time, it's not your responsibility to prove to them
anything. And it's not your responsibility to change people either. If someone shows you that they're not a good friend or a good boyfriend or a good person, you don't have to fix them. They're on their own time. They're working on their own schedule. And eventually they will learn what they need to learn and they will become the person that they need to become or who they want to become. But in the meantime, you don't have to try to fix them. You don't have to try to prove to anyone anything.
It's not your responsibility. Your life is your responsibility. Now, obviously, again, kind of like the advice thing that I said earlier, this doesn't go... If someone's doing something really, really messed up and you know them personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with saying, hey, I don't think you should say that because it's disrespectful towards someone. Again, I just mean if someone has given you a hard time about what you want to do, let them say it. Let them do it. It's okay. I think a really big thing...
I learned this year is just that everything's okay. It's literally all going to be okay. Life is just this circle. It's this wave. It's whatever you want to call it. We're going to have moments of being and feeling completely on top of the world. We're also going to have moments of being at our lowest lows. It's just inevitable. There are things in life that are out of our control. But when you just look at them and you really sit with it and think, okay, I'm either going to learn something from this or I'm going to appreciate this moment or
and know that eventually it's all going to make sense, it just lifts this huge weight off your shoulders. It's like a weight that we don't even know it's there. It's just like there's this elephant sitting on your back because you're constantly thinking about everything so much and like, wait, why is this happening? I don't understand. This is so bad. I'm so sad. Life sucks. When you just kick the elephant off your back and just realize this doesn't suck, this is actually all going to be okay eventually,
This is one day out of however many days I'm going to be alive, one month out of however many months I'm going to be alive, even if it's a bad year. It's one year out of however long we live. In the grand scheme of things, when you look at the big picture, it's really all just going to be okay. I promise. Take the elephant off your shoulders because I know that it's on all of ours and every once in a while I'll feel mine starting to come back. But no. No. Eventually, life makes sense.
The good, the bad, the ugly is all part of the picture. Quick little intermission. You guys know how much I love Thrive Cosmetics. I really don't even need to explain it to you because those of you who know me know me. Know I've been using their liquid lash extensions mascara for the past three years of my life and I use it religiously. Even if I'm getting my makeup done, I bring it with me. Not only are their products high performance, but they also give back to the community. And...
They're good for you. They're the best things in the whole entire world. And lately I've been using their Empower Matte Precision Lipstick Crayon. I didn't know what to expect when I tried this, but it is like long lasting and it stays on forever. And there's no dry flaky feeling. I also love to use their Brilliant Eye Brightener. It's like a combo of a highlight and an eyeshadow and it works perfectly on my inner corner. Sometimes I put a little dollop on my nose.
But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.
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Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.
So if you're thinking about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. You just have to fill out a brief questionnaire and you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash moments today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash moments.
I don't know if you guys have ever seen anyone who draws on TikToks or does paintings. It'll look like so bad in the beginning. You're like, where are they going with this? I'm so confused. And by the end, it's just this beautiful work of art. Sometimes that's how I view my life. When something's going really, really wrong, I'm like, okay, this must just be the beginning of the picture. Eventually, it's going to be beautiful. And I love that. So take it as you will, but hold on to it. Moving into the next one.
The smallest changes in your habits are what are going to make the biggest difference. And this is what I actually just recently learned because I just started reading the book Atomic Habits and don't, I'm only a hundred pages in here, not even a hundred pages. So I'm not a professional on this and I'm definitely going to learn more about it as I continue to read the book. But the smallest differences make the biggest difference.
You start by drinking one cup of water each night if you find yourself super dehydrated. Eventually, you're drinking two cups of water, and then three, and then all of a sudden, you're more hydrated than you've ever been in your life. But you started small. You go to the gym. You can only walk a quarter of a mile. Okay? The next time you go to the gym, you walk half a mile. And then before you know it, you can run three miles. But you started small, and you started somewhere. And you have to give yourself credit for those small wins, okay?
because it makes you appreciate the big wins even more. Things don't happen overnight. Becoming the best version of yourself will not happen overnight. And if you discredit yourself for one bad day, don't you dare do it. You did something right that day. We do something right in every single day. Life is constantly a learning journey. And if we spend every day being mad at ourselves for what we didn't accomplish, we are never going to feel accomplished.
So just appreciate yourself, appreciate the small wins, and eventually you'll notice the big change. Sometimes we don't even realize that it's happening. There's been so many things over the course of my life where, especially when I look back at like my old Snapchat memories and see the person that I used to be versus the person I am today. A lot of these things that I do now and the person that I am now, I wasn't a long time ago, but I didn't even realize I was making small changes.
I just see the big difference now, which is another cool concept to hold on to. But just believe in yourself, man. Be proud of yourself. All goes back to being your own best friend. Be proud of your accomplishments, even if they're small. Anyways, moving into the next one. You guys are going to feel like I say this a million times because I do. Your life is only as good as your mindset. I'll say it again. Your life is only as good as your mindset.
If you sit here and spend every single day thinking about what sucks and everything's bad in the world, obviously everything is going to seem bad in the world. That just makes sense, right? It does. Now think about it the other way around. If you choose to only see the beauty in the world, if you choose to only see the hard times as lessons, and if you choose to just believe that people are good and things are good, suddenly you become a more positive person.
And for some reason, people have a much harder time accepting that than accepting that if everyone's negative all the time, everything's going to be negative. But it works the same way. It really does. And if you haven't tried it, try it. Having an open mind and thinking positive and being willing to learn and understand and accept things is going to lead you to a much happier and a much more fulfilled and a much more educated life. In my eyes, yes.
Having an open mind is the key to a good life. And obviously not everyone's going to agree with that. We all have different things. We're all different people. But to me, if you're willing to accept everything for what it is, then nothing ever feels wrong in your life.
Everything just feels like learning and I love learning. I always noticed my like open-mindedness started when it came to traveling because I grew up in such a bubble. I live in Boca Raton, Florida. So I grew up with all the same people, all the same families and I thought that I lived in the perfect location. I wanted to, you know, raise my kids here, send them to the same high school I went to and do all of that.
And then I traveled and I realized that we all come from such different backgrounds and there's so much more to life than just where you grew up. And that's when I started really realizing that being open-minded can change a lot because the values in my hometown are not the values that I support or believe anymore. Obviously not everyone in my hometown, but a lot of people in this area believe certain things. Therefore, when I grow up with them and I'm like forced to think like them, then I think that that's the only thing that's right.
But it's just not. At least be open-minded to learning about other people's cultures and other people's values and other people's morals. Because maybe you'll resonate with them more and you just don't even realize it. Maybe not. Maybe your hometown values and morals are what you're going to stick with and that's okay. But at least be willing to hear people out. That's all I'm going to say. Okay, next one. This one's a little straightforward, but you have to stop blaming outside factors for your own poor mental health.
This was a really tough pill for me to swallow. I learned this one from personal experience. That's why I don't feel so bad about saying it harshly because I blamed everything but myself on why I was going through it. I blamed the people I was surrounding myself. I blamed the environment. I blamed everything you can think of. But what really got me motivated to actually start working on myself and feeling good again was realizing that I was the root of my problem. I was the one who wasn't willing to accept that I wasn't okay at the time.
And it was powerful because when I did that, obviously there were still factors I changed about my outside environment. But what gave me the motivation to change them was realizing that I needed to take care of myself and that that's what I was avoiding. Here I go again. But it started with changing my mindset. And my mindset is something I've had to fix many different times in my life. Every time I go through a really, really rough patch or I'm at the bottom, I'm at the bottom of the wave and I feel like I'm being held underwater.
my mindset shifts into that dark place and I have to rebuild it. And that's something that we don't always realize. Just because you fixed your mindset once and you've had these really, really good times once, sometimes you have to put the work in all over again. We're always evolving. We're always going through different waves and different emotions. And that's okay. It's okay if you have to rebuild your mindset. It's okay to accept that maybe you went into a dark place after you were in a good one.
Just know that it starts with you and you have to rebuild that. Which brings me into my next thing. I was always someone who believed therapy was stupid. I thought it was a sign of weakness. I thought, no, no, therapy is stupid. Literally, it's all I thought to myself. And I didn't understand why people went to therapy until I went to therapy. I go to therapy now and I see it as such a sign of strength.
A sign that you became aware and you became willing enough to work on yourself and to ask for help. It's beautiful. I don't care what anyone tells you. Asking for help is strength, not weakness. Which leads me into something pretty cool. This podcast is actually sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. BetterHelp is something that I'm going to be discussing a lot on this show, but this month especially we're discussing some of the stigmas around mental health.
For example, a lot of people wait until things are super unbearable and really, really bad to go to therapy. But in my eyes, this just isn't true.
Therapy is something that could benefit all of us and sometimes just being able to talk to someone unbiasedly is amazing. And it's a tool that we should utilize before things get worse and it can help you from getting to some of those really, really low points. Another thing that I realized about therapy is that a lot of people say it's for crazy people. It's not true. It's a way to become aware of your emotions.
In a way to learn how to control them versus just avoid them, which is something I noticed that I struggled with for so, so long.
And BetterHelp is literally my favorite start when it comes to getting into therapy. I have a few friends who signed up with BetterHelp after I did a first ad with them on one of my YouTube videos. And the way that they praise it and the way that their emotions are so much more under control and the way they feel so much more like themselves is so inspiring.
And if you've been considering it, there's nothing I recommend more than trying BetterHelp. And I'm not just saying this to say this, but I genuinely love everything about what I am sharing with you guys right now. And BetterHelp is customized online therapy. It offers video, phone, or even a live chat session with your therapist so that you don't even have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. I promise you, it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with therapists in under 48 hours, which
which in my eyes is so cool. And I really recommend you to try it and you can finally understand why 2 million people have used BetterHelp online therapy. It is seriously so, so worth it and I can get you guys 10% off. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. In moments, listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com.
I'll spell it for you. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash moments. I seriously cannot recommend therapy enough. The way that my life has changed, you can ask any one of my friends, the amount of time I talk about how much I love therapy...
Might be concerning, but I don't think it is because I have learned so much, not even just about myself, but a lot of the things that I'm talking about and that I've learned this year have come from therapy, which is just cool to me. So just try it if you're considering it, and if not, try considering it. Anyways, we'll move into the next one now. This next one is one that I learned from a YouTube video, but we have to stop doing things just for the outcome.
It leads us into this vicious cycle where we're only living life waiting for a reward. But life is actually way more fun and enjoyable when you do things that you actually enjoy the whole time. Obviously, there's times in life where this is kind of unavoidable, especially in school or certain jobs when you're working to make money or you're studying for these exams that you don't enjoy studying for but you have to pass them.
Yes, that's unavoidable, but there are certain situations that are in your control. Simply put, don't do what doesn't make you happy, which leads into another one, which is everyone has a different version of fun. And I learned this one a lot this year. A lot of people enjoy going out and socializing as fun. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy that sometimes, but a lot of times I'm more of an introvert and I have the most fun when I'm at home reading or just staying in or hanging out with my family.
And that is what's fun for me, but that's not what's fun for everyone else. Just be okay knowing that what's fun for you doesn't have to be fun for the people around you. And do your best to find balance. If you have a best friend who has a different idea of fun, then have fun with them sometimes. There's ways to make it enjoyable, but just be aware that it's okay. You don't have to feel alone. You don't have to feel sad that what's fun for everyone else isn't fun for you. It's not a bad thing. I promise you that. Next one.
Self-care is essential. Definitely learned this one throughout this year because there was a point where my mental health was really, really low and I wasn't taking care of myself. I was literally just living to get to the point where I got a reward. So I wasn't doing things I enjoyed. I wasn't surrounding myself with people I should be surrounding myself with. And I just wasn't taking care of myself. So do things like reading or journaling or baking. It's different for everyone.
Self-care and self-love look different for every single person. Another huge takeaway from this year, I'm sure you guys have caught on to it, is just that everyone's different and everyone's supposed to be different. But whatever makes you the happiest, even if it's not reading or journaling or waking up early in the morning, do the things that make you happy and understand that it is a requirement because again, you're your best friend. You have to love who you are. You have to love how you spend your time.
and how you see the world to live a good life.
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Another one that I learned this year. This is more so one that I'm just learning and one that I have not quite incorporated into my life yet, but am going to start incorporating. You can't expect to keep a relationship with someone if you don't show any effort. I struggle with this because I don't really talk to people on the phone very often. I hang out with the same people all the time and I do the same things every day. But then I like want to build these relationships and like hang out with new people and meet new people and I don't know, maybe find a boyfriend one of these days.
But if I don't step out of my comfort zone and I don't put in the effort just as much as the other person, I don't know what I expect to gain from it. So I don't have too much advice on that one just because it's one that I haven't quite understood yet, but we're working on it. So if you want to hold that and use that as a takeaway, take that away because we're in this together. The next one I have written down is be your own best friend, but I already got into that.
So the one after that is pause before you react immediately to something. This is another one that I'm definitely still working on, especially when someone has something to say on like a post of mine where they just assume things about me or try to comment something really negative. My immediate reaction is, this person just doesn't get it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to make sure I prove my point and all this. But when I really sit with it and don't react to it immediately, I'm
I become aware of all those things I talked about earlier. Not everyone's going to understand it. Not everyone's going to get it. I know what I'm doing and I know who I am. And then suddenly the comment doesn't bother you as much. And this goes into a lot of different things in our life. Next one, stop talking badly about people. I could go on and on and on about this one,
People who hurt other people are hurting for themselves. And what they really need to do is take some time to take care of themselves and eventually they realize that what anyone else is doing isn't their problem. And again, these all just tie together. But if you find yourself thinking something badly about someone or talking negative about someone,
Just become aware. Say, you know what? I'm not gaining anything from this. Neither is the other person. I'm hurting myself and I'm hurting them. Let me just let this go and let me go focus on myself. Next one. Life is not supposed to be perfect. I talked about this a little bit earlier, but life is going to have ups and downs. And when you just accept that it has ups and downs, it seems a little bit more perfect. We have to change the idea of what perfect is.
Sometimes perfect involves learning lessons that you don't necessarily want to learn or you learn them the hard way. That's okay. Which also goes into everything happens for a reason. Every single thing. And when you don't understand the reason, it's because you're in the happening. And this is what I talked about in the first ever episode of the podcast. Still one of my favorites. You're in the happening if you don't get it yet. Eventually, it's a full circle. And get this.
I just had such an experience with this. A lot of you guys know back in middle school, I had a really hard time with this mean girl, with, like, this bully, and I never understood why that happened. And then eventually, recently, it all made sense, and I just understood it. And I was like, that was the reason. The reason that I felt that was so that I could understand this now and...
I don't know. Everything really does happen for a reason. It's my favorite quote. It's so basic, but it works because it's true. The next one, be nice to strangers. Simple as that. Goes back to not talking badly about people. Just be nice to people, random people. You never know who's having a bad day, especially when someone's nasty to you. Don't be nasty back. It's just going to ruin your mood. Kill them with kindness. Always kill people with kindness.
And wave at random strangers and hold the door open for the person behind you or make small talk with someone who looks like they don't have anyone to talk to. Just do your best to live with good intentions. That's one of my biggest goals for this next year. And it's always been a goal of mine, but it's one that I really want to hold on to this upcoming year. And the last one I want to talk about is that even if it gets hard, it's never a sign to give up.
things are going to get hard. And if they are, it's a good thing because it's a sign that you're making progress. And when you choose to look at it like that, it more so becomes motivation. For example, I don't really know if this is an example, but today Lissette and I were at the gym and we were doing leg presses and I was struggling. And then Lissette went and she didn't struggle. And I was like, you know what? I want to be able to do that. So I went again.
And even though it was hard, I pushed through. And then we ended up having this friendly competition and we ended up tying. But I know that's not like a real, real life example, but still things are going to get hard. Use it as motivation. Let that push you even further. Let that give you the drive to keep going and to know that the grass is greener on the other side and that it's going to get better. And just believe in yourself. I think that those are my biggest takeaways from the year.
And some of those lessons I understood and processed almost immediately. Some of them took me, well, a whole year to understand. And you'll notice that that's often why I repeat so many of the same things. And a lot of the advice that I give you guys is also advice that I need to hear. So sometimes when I repeat something over and over and over again, it's because I still haven't even instilled it in my own brain.
And since I know I'm not alone and since I know that so many people have like the same struggles that I do and the same difficulties processing what we need to do to like reach the best version of ourselves, I don't mind repeating them because I think we can all use the reminders at any given moment. But...
That's really all I got. I love you guys more than you will ever understand. And I actually really enjoyed recording this episode just because it's been so long. If you're still here and you're still listening, if you guys want, go follow on Spotify, go leave a rating on Apple Podcasts. It means the world to me. And this whole podcast means the world to me. I have so many goals in the new year to grow this into more than just a podcast.
More than just a thing that I do, but like a whole community, a whole lifestyle. I don't know how to explain it, but eventually you guys, I'll be able to put it into real life. For now, I'm just talking from my mind, which never makes any sense. Okay, I'm going to cut us off here, but I'm so grateful for you. You guys have made this year more incredible than you will ever, ever, ever understand.
You guys are also the reason that I've been able to understand so many of these lessons. You guys have made me feel so much less alone in some of my hardest times and always reminded me that there's good around the corner. So you guys are the good people that I like to surround myself with. Thank you for everything. Not to be cheesy and deep, but you guys are the reason I'm here today. So I love you, and I will talk to you next Monday. Have the best year ever. Next episode, we're going to talk about some New Year's resolutions.
I love you. Bye.