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Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the moments podcast. What a morning it has been. Let me tell you that it is Friday and today I tried to wake up in a really good mood and I woke up and realized I didn't have any sheets on my bed because I haven't been able to do my laundry yet and I was like okay whatever it's fine I feel gross but I'm gonna go watch the sunrise and
So I get in my car or I don't even get in my car. I go to make my coffee. Do you guys know what I do? I start the coffee without a mug in the thing. So I literally brew a whole cup of coffee right onto our kitchen counter. I don't know how I did that one. But anyways, I get in the car. I go to the Sunrise. It's beautiful.
Except I'm driving in and I'm holding my mug of coffee and I'm going over this bumpy road like we're fully off-roading My coffee is just splashing everywhere Total disaster sunrise is beautiful though. I head home I try to get into our gate and I don't have my key to get in so I have to call security and Anytime we have to do that we get so yelled at and it's so sad because like I don't know we don't need to do it that often but they get so mad at us when we don't have our key and the girls couldn't bring it out because they were still sleeping and
Anyways, I'm sitting in my car after I'm talking to Lissette. I'm like, I'm just not having a good morning. I don't know what's going on. And as I'm telling her that and as I'm in like this terrible mood, there is a freaking cockroach, a cockroach running around on my radio stereo thing. And
Yeah, that's kind of how my morning went. And then I came inside and then I was a little bit stressed that I had to record because, you know, when you're just not feeling it, well, I wasn't feeling it. And now I gave myself time to like regroup and I am feeling it. I still don't really know what we're going to talk about, but we're here and we're doing this together and I'm excited. And I'm not recording in my car because it is infested with cockroaches. But my friends are at a workout, so I do have the house to ourself, to myself, I mean.
So we're sitting inside and we're recording and this is new and it's fun and I like it. I'm sitting on the couch. I have a beautiful view. I have plenty of open space. So it's super interesting. But I am excited to record this episode because I believe that this episode is coming out on Valentine's Day. Meaning since it's a holiday episode, I'm going to keep it nice and short. I'm going to get to the point. But I want you guys to know that this episode is all about loving yourself.
moments in romanticizing your life, moments in falling in love with yourself, moments in spending Valentine's Day alone, moments in being single. Whatever you want to call it, that's what we're talking about because we've all spent way too many Valentine's Days being sad over boys, being sad that we're single, being sad that no one likes us. Why are we like that? Like, why does it matter? Why do we need anyone to like us? The only important thing is if you like yourself because you are the only one you have in the long run anyways.
Be your own best friend. Be your own hype woman, you know? So that's what we're going to be talking about. And honestly, I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but I feel like there's been something in the air and I feel as though a lot of people are breaking up. And I don't know why. I don't know what's going on, but a lot of people that I know or follow have been ending these long relationships and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on?
Um, a lot of you guys know I've been in one relationship and it honestly, like as much as I thought it was serious and I thought I was in love, I might've been in love, but I wasn't in love. Does that make any sense? Like I know that there's more out there for me and there's going to be someone out there who I'm more in love with, um, and less comfortable with. Like I think my last relationship was a lot more about comfort and hopefully wherever I find myself in the future, um,
It's more about love. But we're not talking about that. We're not thinking about that. We are just learning to love ourselves. I have spent a lot of time hating myself. I'll be honest. I'll say it. We literally all have. We've all looked in the mirror and been like, ew, why do you look like that? Or ew, that looks bad. Or just ew in general. We're just so rude to ourselves and we don't show ourselves any kindness or any compassion.
And I'm saying that so strongly because that was literally me this morning. I am preaching all this and I'm thinking about how it was acting this morning. And let me just, let me give you some backstory. Last night, um...
so much cookie dough it's actually absurd you know how they sell the toll house um chocolate chip cookies and they come in little squares well I ate half of it was a lot of cookie dough okay we're not gonna get into it it doesn't matter anymore I'm not gonna allow myself to really dwell on it but last night I was like dude how did I just eat that much cookie dough and I had like three freaking mochis we were having pizza I had eggs potatoes I literally had a hot guys it
It doesn't matter. Food is food. It tasted good. I enjoyed it. And I'm telling myself right now to stop hating on myself for doing things like that. Everything is okay in moderation. Everything is okay. It's just about balance. So we just need to focus on balance a little bit more. Sorry, I'm really having a hard time speaking English today. I don't know what mood I'm in. It's a weird one. I always forget how much comfort recording these episodes brings me.
Because I didn't make an outline at all. So it's going to be another one where I'm kind of all over the place. But I actually got some really cool feedback on last week's episode, which was one of my favorite when I didn't have an outline. So we'll see where this takes us. We'll see where it goes. Again, I'm keeping it kind of short. And we're just talking about you and me and us and how we need to stop being so mean to ourselves.
But yeah, not exactly sure where I was going with that. I was really mad at myself this morning for eating all that cookie dough. And I was like, ew, Lexi, you're so puffy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, dude, you're just human. You just are going to have days where you look different than other days and it doesn't matter. And no one's paying attention to your body except you. So being so hard on yourself is only going to kill your mood instead of make you happier. You know what I'm saying? Like we need to start treating ourselves like someone that we love.
Think about your best friend. When you hear your best friend talking down on themselves or being so, so, so rude to themselves and just hating on it, how do you feel? Like you want to tell them to stop being so mean to themselves, right? Because you've never perceived them that way. You perceive them as someone beautiful, amazing, incredible, and you don't notice if their eyes look a little bit puffier than they did the day before, right? Not at all.
And that's why you need to treat yourself like your own best friend because you don't deserve to be talking to yourself that way. If your best friend talked to you that way, you wouldn't keep them in your life. So why do you allow yourself to treat you that way? It's all about learning how to love yourself. Because one of the coolest things I've learned and I've found an understanding for is that
People are going to treat you the way that you treat yourself. Like you really set the standard for how people treat you. When you're not kind to yourself, you're not genuine to yourself, you don't respect yourself, other people aren't going to respect you. You're going to get walked over a lot more than you realize. And I'll tell you that I learned that the hard way. And it is until you really start to take care of yourself and take care of your boundaries and your
just kind of love you are, love who you are, even at your worst, people are going to treat you like crap and you're just going to let it happen. And you, my friend, do not deserve that at all. And I know it is so hard to do.
When you feel gross, trying to force yourself to be confident is probably the most impossible thing ever. And it might sound stupid, but it is one of the hardest things to overcome. It really is. But you have to fake it till you make it. You have to start small. You have to look in the mirror. And the things that you always hate yourself for, tell yourself you love them in the mirror until you really start loving them. You're not going to like hearing this one, but I'm going to tell you
that no one can love you until you love yourself. You have to stop waiting for someone to come fill that hole in your heart with love because you're the one that needs to do that. You are the one who needs to love yourself before someone else can love you because if you wait for someone else to fill that void, it's never going to feel full because I promise the thing that you're missing is yourself.
And I know it can sound stupid and no one really wants to believe it. No one really wants to believe that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you because what a lot of people do is they'll find someone who loves what they don't like about themselves and they'll bring that person into their lives and that person will fill that void for a while, but it still never feels right. You still never feel whole. You still never really know why you feel the way that you do.
And eventually that person will leave your life and it'll leave you feeling even more empty than it did the time before. And I don't mean to make this so like negative and harsh, but sometimes it's what you need to hear to really encourage you to take the first step towards loving yourself. And this Valentine's Day, that's exactly what we're doing. It's a hot girl Valentine's Day.
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But everything that Thrive has to offer is an absolute 10 out of 10. And I don't say this lightly. I say it from the bottom of my heart. I love everything about this brand. And honestly, being able to tell you about them is such an honor for me.
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Quick little intermission, you guys. We all know how important it is to prioritize the right things in our life. And maybe for you, that's prioritizing doing leg day at the gym or making sure you go for your hot girl walk. But how often are you prioritizing your mental health and making sure that therapy is a part of your weekly routine? If it's something that you've been open to, if it's something that you've been considering, I highly recommend BetterHelp. And thank you so much to BetterHelp for sponsoring this episode.
I absolutely love BetterHelp. I love therapy. I have talked about it over and over and over again. And that is for a reason. It is the greatest thing ever. Having an outlet and a person to talk to about what you're going through and getting unbiased opinions and advice is so, so beneficial.
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And now for the rest of this episode, I'm going to be sharing with you guys some, I wouldn't really say they're tips. Maybe they're more so advice or just like pieces of information to hold on to as you move through Valentine's Day and you see people in relationships and you, I know it sucks sometimes. Trust me, I'm still human. I still see couples and I'm like, dang, that would be nice. But I also am at a point where it's like when I meet the right person, I'm
I'll know and they'll come into my life and it'll be so comfortable and so simple and so easy. And it won't have to be this whole thing. It'll just happen. You know, I don't know. I don't know. I'm kind of all over the place this morning. But the first thing I'm telling you guys is to stop comparing yourself to other people.
You are one of a kind. You are made to be the way that you are. And I know that social media makes this really, really hard to process and to believe because it puts out just this beauty standard that literally should not exist. And I don't know how we let it get to this point. But you have to stop comparing yourself.
And the one thing that really helps me when it comes to this is understanding that someone else's beauty does not take away from my own and understanding that I'm not going to be everyone's type, but there's 7 billion people in the world and there sure as heck are some people out there whose type I am, you know? And this just makes it a lot easier because I just spent so much time being like, oh, but she's so perfect and she's so skinny and this and that and this and that.
And I would be like, OK, but what does that take away? Like that doesn't that doesn't change who I am. You know, like that doesn't change me. She can be beautiful and I can, too. And it doesn't matter. You know, anyways, next one. Don't worry about anyone else's opinion.
Literally don't take anything personally. If you guys haven't read The Four Agreements, I need you to read that book. It's a super easy read. It teaches you so much about life, opens your eyes, and just really helps you understand why you shouldn't take anything personally. Because most of the time,
When people have something to say about you, it's coming from a place of projection. And I've talked about this in many episodes before, but people project their own insecurities onto you. So something they don't love about themselves, if they see that you do love it about yourself, they're going to find a reason to hate on it. That's just how people work. It's how we're trained. It's how we're conditioned. And eventually, a lot of people become aware of
But sometimes that takes a long time and you have to let people be on their own path and their own schedule. And eventually they'll understand not to say things like that about people or two people, but just know in your heart not to take things personally. People project. Nothing that anyone says about you really has anything to do with you and it has all to do with them. You also can't please everyone. You can't make everyone happy. You can't be perfect for everyone, but you can be good enough for yourself.
So stop giving a crap what anyone else has to say about you. I feel really strongly about that one because it's affected my life so much because for so long I just needed to get everyone's approval. And doing this whole line of work in social media, you don't get that ever because someone always has something to say. But that's okay. Don't take anything personally. Next one. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
For some reason, we make one mistake and it's the end of the world. Me making my coffee this morning and it overflowing all over the kitchen counter, I was still in a bad mood about that literally until I just said it right now. And now what I'm doing is I'm allowing myself to make that mistake. I cleaned it up. It should not still be weighing on me. It should not still be ruining my day, you know? So I'm letting that go. This is me letting that go. I'm allowing myself to make that mistake.
But moral of that story is that you don't need to be perfect. Again, it just goes back to the fact that you're not going to please everyone. You don't have to be perfect for everyone. You're going to make mistakes. It's a part of being human. You have to make mistakes to be able to learn and to grow. And especially at the age that most of us are at, I don't know how old you are listening to this. I think there's people as young as like 12 and 13 listening. And there's also people as old as like 30 listening.
We're all still really young, and we're all still going to make a lot of mistakes, probably until the day that we die. But this is the age that we're supposed to make mistakes, the age that we're going to learn the most. And it's really cool to understand that learning is really powerful. And then when you think about that, you just, I don't know, it just gets easier to understand that you've got to make mistakes to grow. And I know that the older you get, the more pressure there is to feel good
Like you're perfect and like you're not going to mess up sometimes. I mean, the older I get, I'm watching all my friends graduate college and I'm not quite there yet because I'm just taking some time off of school. I don't know if I'm going to go back to school, but I love what I'm doing and I'm really confident that I can create some really, really amazing stuff without a degree. But I get really hard on myself for the fact that I don't have one and all my friends do and they're getting these jobs and, you
I don't know. We can save that for another episode because it's a lot to talk about, but allow yourself to make mistakes.
This podcast is supported by FX's English Teacher, a new comedy from executive producers of What We Do in the Shadows and Baskets. English Teacher follows Evan, a teacher in Austin, Texas, who learns if it's really possible to be your full self at your job, while often finding himself at the intersection of the personal, professional, and political aspects of working at a high school. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.
Moving on. I'm coming at you again with this one. Your body is the least interesting thing about you. Stop paying attention to it so much. Literally, if it helps for now, if you have to fake it till you make it, stop looking in the mirror so often.
Because you are so much more than a body. You are not a body. You are a soul. You are a mind. You have creativity. You have this beautiful power that you don't even realize because you get too caught up in thinking about how your boobs look or how your butt looks or how your stomach looks when literally that doesn't matter. Especially if you're sitting around and you're looking for a lifelong partner. If they only like you for that,
I hate to break it to you, but eventually we are going to get a lot older and a lot wrinklier. And, you know, it's just we're not going to look like that forever. So you need to find someone who loves you for your mind, for your creativity, for the way that you think, for who you are on a deeper level than what you look like. So I want you to know that you're dodging a bullet if someone doesn't like you because of what you look like. You're dodging a bullet by running from that, I promise.
You want someone, you want people in your life who love you for who you really are. So just know your body is the least interesting thing about you and your value does not lie in what your body looks like. I'm just saying, please hold on to that one because I know it's hard out there. I know it's tough scrolling through Instagram and TikTok. Also, I kind of stopped scrolling through Instagram and TikTok because
And it's actually been really good for my mental health. So you guys should try to do that a little bit. Not like all the time. I'm not going to sit here and be like, yeah, I actually don't have any TikTok screen time because that would be such a lie. But my account did get banned. Like, guys, I almost lost my whole TikTok account. Isn't that terrifying? Maybe not to you, but it was to me because I love TikTok and TikTok is the whole reason that I'm here and I'm able to record this.
But anyways, I got my account back, but I'm still banned. Like I can't post on it until I actually want to say Monday, like when this episode comes out. But it's kept me off of TikTok a little bit. And I very much appreciate that because I haven't been sucked into the trap. So, yeah, just if you want to take some time off of TikTok, go for it. OK, this one is a hard pill to swallow. Don't be afraid to let go of toxic people.
Um, it's really bad for me to give advice on this one because I am really bad at letting go of toxic people. I will hold relationships and friendships into my life even if they hurt me for like ever. Uh, cause I don't know how to understand that some people just aren't good for my mental health. Instead I'm like, Oh no, but they're just growing and changing and like they're becoming a better person. Sometimes people don't change. Um, and I'm not trying to be negative. I'm not at all.
Because I do believe that people change and people grow. In some cases, I'm just learning in my own life that sometimes I keep toxic people in my life. And I don't really have that much of a problem with it. I don't know how to explain it and I don't know where I'm going with it. But I like to believe that people will soon understand. And I like to inspire people to treat people better. So I try to treat people right.
But my point of that was still supposed to be don't keep toxic people in your life. And as I said, it is when I realized that I'm not very good at doing this one myself. So if you can take this advice, go for it. If you're like me, I just want you to protect your energy. I want you to make sure that you still have your boundaries and you respect yourself because then you'll be a little bit more respected. I don't know. That bullet point was kind of all over the place. Take what you want from it.
I know I said a lot, so you guys get the idea. You know how my brain works at this point. This next one that me and you are going to work on together is stepping out of our comfort zone and not even that, more so processing your fears. I'm afraid of a lot of things in life, and I tend to run from them, but I think it's very important along the
The journey of understanding yourself and loving yourself fully for who you are is facing your fears. And I don't even necessarily mean fear of heights, fear of bugs. I mean just real deeper, deeper fears. Like I find myself to be a little bit afraid of love. I'm afraid of intimacy. I'm afraid of things that are just, I don't know, like deeper fears.
And I've always just ran from those fears and I don't want to run from that anymore. I've really been focusing on being able to open my heart and just opening, I don't know, opening my mind, my everything, just being like ready and willing to experience life and just learning how to trust my gut, which leads me into the next thing is just
trusting yourself trusting your intuition trusting your gut you got to do it you should do it because your your body knows you best it really does so when it tells you something is good for you or something is bad for you you have to listen to it because your body's going to tell you something different than your mind in a lot of cases if you feel uneasy about something or someone but your brain is like no no no just give them a second chance or just this or just that
Trust your body. You know, it hasn't failed me yet, and I'll still find myself using my brain sometimes instead of my body. But again, I'm human. I'm allowing myself to make mistakes. I'm learning from every experience that I do experience. And yeah, just trust your gut. Your feelings are so valid, and the heart knows what it needs and what it wants. Next thing we're doing to have a hot girl Valentine's Day is
Literally take every opportunity that you can get. My mom has been telling me this since I was little. And by little, I mean, honestly, probably forever. But I remember it in middle school. I first got certified to teach yoga and all these opportunities arose like interviews and this and that. And I never really wanted to do it. And I don't know why. But my mom always said, when a door opens, you walk through it. When an opportunity comes up, you take it because you never know what is going to lead you to what.
And ever since she told me that and I finally understood it, my life has literally changed so much. I mean, you guys have kind of watched it happen a lot. It happened before I started doing all this TikTok stuff too. But since the TikTok stuff, you guys have been able to see this happen. I've always been talking about how you have to take opportunity even when it's uncomfortable or it's unknown. But you should never say no.
to a cool opportunity it's what got me here and I'm so grateful for it and it's the one if you're going to take away anything from this episode this is the number one thing take opportunities and run with them because one opportunity leads to the next which leads to the next which before you know it who knows where you're going to be take every opportunity next one is put yourself first
Please, come on. I know my Enneagram type twos out there, my givers. You have a really hard time doing this. And so do a lot of other people, my people pleasers out there, my empaths. None of you are putting yourself first.
You're focusing a lot on other people. And I'm one of those people too. And I don't really put myself first. And when other people are going through it around me, I find myself going through it. And I can't really explain it. And it's just this weird transmission of energy where I feel down if someone close to me feels down. Yeah, we got to work on that. We do. Because there's a difference between being there for someone and truly supporting them and then feeling all of their emotions.
We need to find a way for us to stop feeling all of their emotions but still be able to be there for them. I'm still struggling with this one, but I will say for the most part I do put myself first. I've become super aware of what I need and of my alone time and all that stuff. You guys have seen that. I've talked about it. We don't have to get too into it, but I am going to remind you right now, put yourself first. Next one is just...
Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Allow yourself to feel the waves. Before I started this episode today, I was like, no, I'm kind of like in a bad mood. I'm kind of angry. Like I don't sound like happy and bubbly. I can't record an episode right now. Dude, I'm human. You're human. We're all human. Embrace your emotions. There's going to be waves. There's going to be roller coasters. You can be the happiest person in the world and there's still going to be days where you're like, ah, this sucks.
Or this is a bad day. You know, you can't change everything. So I want you to feel your emotions. And that being said, I want you to feel the happy emotions. We try to undermine or like degrade our happiness for some reason. Like whenever we get happy, we find something to be sad about. But how come whenever we get sad, we don't always find something to be happy about? It's like this weird double standard thing that doesn't really make any sense, right?
So another thing I want you to take away from this episode is to just feel your emotions and find beauty in simple things and be kind to yourself. Just be your own best friend.
I said I was going to make this episode short and I accidentally made it like normal length time. So I'm going to kind of bring it to a close right now. But my final things that I want to tell you is that being with yourself on Valentine's Day is a beautiful thing because I want you to know that at some point in your life, you're going to probably get married and you're never going to get to be just there for yourself again. So appreciate your alone time.
and embrace it because we're really lucky to be able to experience it. And you're lucky to have the chance to even become your own best friend. Being alone is a beautiful thing. And I do want to do a whole episode just on being alone because of how much I've learned to love it. But just know that you deserve this and that you should look at this as a blessing because you got you and you got you forever. So love yourself.
And know that when the right person comes into your life, it's not going to be difficult. It's just going to feel right. And it's just going to flow. You got to stop playing games with these boys. I know how they work. Especially if you're in high school and you're listening to this. I know how it goes. I know how it goes. Stay away from the ones who play games and make things difficult. No games need to be played when you find the right person. I'm going to leave it at that. And I'm going to tell you that.
That you are freaking awesome and you're beautiful and you deserve the world. And I'm being cringy, but I love you. And you are going to focus on loving you this Valentine's Day. And if you have a boyfriend and you're in a relationship and you're listening to this, all the rules still apply. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Feel your emotions. Love the simple things. And just enjoy.
Enjoy what life has to offer and start romanticizing your life. Please start romanticizing your life. Every little detail, going to school, make it feel like a movie, pretend you're the main character. All of this stuff sounds so cheesy, but it's what's going to change your mental health. It is seriously what is going to set everything apart from what it's felt like for a while.
So I love you. And if you haven't already, please like, follow the podcast, leave a review, leave a rating. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok if you don't do that already. Also, I've been posting YouTube videos every week. So you should go check those out because I like them. I've been making them more like movie montage style. I love you guys. I appreciate you. I'm going to turn this day around. It's getting sunny outside.
I'm going to make some coffee that actually goes into a mug. And I'm just going to try to have a good day because I deserve that and you deserve that. Happy Monday. Have a good week. I love you. Goodbye and happy Valentine's Day. Will you be my Valentine? Thank you and goodbye.