94: Phrases that change the way I live
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Hello my beautiful people, welcome back to the Moments Podcast. If you're an avid listener, if you were here last week and you were here for my emotional disaster of a, like I don't even know what was going on in that episode, I'm feeling much better. I don't even know what I said in the last episode or how it ended, but I know I was all over the place. Mentally, emotionally, physically, I couldn't get a sentence out and I probably still am not going to be able to get a sentence out today.

But mentally, my mind feels clear. And I think it was all because of Taylor Swift. Like, I got to see her in LA. This weekend, I saw her on night two. And she sang our song. And she sang You Are In Love. And I...

I just want to thank God for the opportunity to see Taylor Swift. But on a real note, Free People invited me out to California. And I originally was going to say no just because it was right before I was leaving for Europe. And I have a dog and I have a boyfriend. And I have Lissette's last week of her being home and a lot of things that just really felt like they were tying me to home. But I ended up saying yes just out of the...

I have an opportunity to do something like that. I'm so young and there's so much to do and see and I've always told myself like never say no to an opportunity like that. Not like that. Just in general. I've always believed in saying yes to opportunity and doing things because even if they're like a lot in the moment, it's always worth it in the end because I have like these memories to hold on to. Whatever, whatever. It's a big thing for me. And I said yes and I flew to LA on Thursday. I got back on Saturday and

And it was such a needed trip for me. I got to do everything alone in the way that I got to get ready by myself and just like lay by the pool and go to the gym and just enjoy my own company, which is something that's always so important to me. And I don't do that all too often at home. I'm alone a lot at home, but usually when I'm alone at home, I don't know, either working or it's just not as enjoyable, but doing things and going places by myself, like I

if it's weird how much I actually really enjoy my alone time. I don't think it is. I think it's healthy because I also value all the time I get to spend with the people that I love. Besides the point, not really what I'm getting into. I guess that's something I'll have to talk to my therapist about. But it was really good and it was really refreshing and I got home last night and

I was supposed to be really productive today and get a lot of things done, but Gabe slept over last night and he just kind of stayed over all day because we're not going to be together the next 10 days and...

We're just too attached at the hip. So we just hung out all day long. And did I do anything productive? Not really. And Lisette's coming over soon because it's also our last night together before she moves away. And after I record this episode, I'm going to record another episode with her later. And yeah, you'll hear that one next week most likely. You will definitely hear that one next week. And what else is going on in this life? I don't know. I don't know how to podcast right now.

the past couple weeks like i go on these cycles where like last week i could not think of anything to say because my mom was too jumbled and right now i just got nothing on my mind because i feel peaceful so what i've decided i'm gonna do is i'm gonna share with you i have a section in my notes app where i

I just write down a bunch of quotes or phrases or things that I hear people say or things I see on an Instagram or a TikTok, whatever it is, I write them down. And I kind of want to go through all of them with you because there's so many of them. And we're just gonna, we're just gonna chat about them. And I do also want to do an episode on relationships. I think that I'm finally at a point where I could answer questions about relationships, which is

I never thought I'd be there. Usually when everyone would ask for relationship advice, I'll be like, dude, why are you asking me?

I am not the person to ask. I've never had a successful long-term relationship with anyone, ever. But now, I mean, five months isn't that long to a lot of people, but for me, it's a big deal. And I really think I can understand the emotion and the feeling of love now and what it does to you in every aspect of your life. So, if you want me to do that episode, please let me know. I'd be happy to do so. Let's get into these notes, okay? I have the note titled as...

I hope your life is bright and beautiful. And I suggest everyone make a section in your notes where you do things like this because whenever I am going through it or I'm just looking for some kind of guidance or advice, I open this notes in my app. I just... Wait, what? I open this notes in my notes app and I just kind of read through it. And there's usually something in there that holds some kind of value or leads me in the right direction or... I don't know. It's just a good thing to have. Okay, first one is...

And you've probably heard me say a lot of these things before, but write down your favorites. These are very valuable. Make sure you really feel alive.

and this one applies to my life I try to apply it to my life all the time I really like to sit back and ask myself like am I just living am I just existing or do I feel alive do I feel like I am in control of my life and I am the one taking action to chase my dreams or work on my passion projects or even if I'm not even doing that like am I doing things that bring me happiness and

And am I laughing? And am I spending time with people that I love? Because when I'm not doing those things, I simply feel like I'm existing. And I'm not trying to just exist. There's so much life to live. And when I just keep myself aware of that, it makes me feel more in control of my life or want to take more action in my life, you know? Okay, the next one. This one hits hard for a lot of people. It's hard to grow in an environment that you've outgrown.

And I think that this was a huge thing that hit me when I was living in Hawaii. The first time around when I left, I knew that it wasn't somewhere I felt like I could grow anymore, at least like the way that I was doing it. But because of the situation I was in, like I couldn't experience it differently. I don't really know how to explain it without giving you like all my personal life information, which, you know, I usually do. But besides the point.

I couldn't really grow or evolve there anymore. And I wanted to so badly, but I hadn't outgrown the environment that I was in and I couldn't grow myself. You know, it's like being trapped in something

You know how, what is it, is it hermit crabs who they move and get a bigger shell? So it's like you're a hermit crab, but instead of moving to get a bigger shell, you're just stuck in your teeny tiny shell, and then eventually you explode. The shell breaks, and then you're exposed, and you feel very vulnerable, and you get the point, okay? I don't know what kind of metaphor I'm trying to give right now, but you get the point. I think it was something. There was definitely some attempt there. Okay, you guys have heard me say this one time and time again, right?

The five closest people you surround yourself with is who you become. This goes to tell you that who you are friends with absolutely does matter whether you realize it or not.

you need to pay attention to who your friends are, okay? And not just are they a good friend to you. Like notice how they treat other people and notice what their morals are and what their values are because if this is someone you're going to want to have in your life for a really long time, these are important things. They're very important things. And you want to be surrounded by people who lift you up and who inspire you. And if you're surrounding yourself with people who aren't like that, just, I don't know.

I'm not saying you need to drop them. I'm just saying become aware of it because who you are depends a lot on who surrounds you. And that's why it's always been so important to me to not necessarily keep my circle small, but I definitely put a guard up when it comes to meeting new people. And I never used to at all, but I just pay attention to people.

In in detailed ways and I only allow people into my life if I think that they are someone who is truly going to be a good friend with a good heart and good intentions and wants to do good in the world because I don't know. I just think when you surround yourself with that energy, that's what you get in return and that being said.

It's also important for you to be aware of how you make other people feel and how you treat other people and what kind of friend you are. It goes both ways. We need to keep ourselves in check. Quick little intermission. You guys have heard me talk about this before and it is always exciting sharing it again. I am telling you about NextEvo.

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is you are in control of everything that happens to you in this lifetime. And mind you, I've written these all for so, so, so long. I don't really even necessarily believe this one. Because to an extent, you are in control of your life and you are the driver. But...

Sometimes, you know, if you're the driver, you get in an accident and it's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything to avoid it. You know, someone pulls out in front of you or whatever it may be. You're not in control 24-7 of what happens to you in your outside world. What you are in control of is how you react to what happens to you in the outside world. You are

are and this is something that my therapist says and i think she said on the episode if you listened recently you are in charge of outcome no what am i saying you are in charge of effort you do not control the outcome um something like that anyways moving on the next one is this little affirmation i guess the energy i release into this world is the energy the world will reciprocate this is true that is a fact be someone that has a good heart

Be someone that other people can look up to. And this is kind of what I was just saying with the closest friends one. Like if you are craving love and happiness and kindness in your life, make sure that that is what you are giving to the world. Because karma is a real thing. All of this is real. And I notice it too. When I am kinder to myself and I'm kinder to people and I'm kinder to the world in general and I do things with a smile on my face and with a really big heart,

more good things happen for me and I appreciate things more and it's just a fact so don't be afraid to be a good person okay or to compliment people or to do random acts of kindness yada yada yada the next one I have treat people the way that you want to be treated and do you know what is really interesting about this one

Lisette's dad who I've never heard him like like he is a very structured man like I don't know how to explain it he's just the kind of guy who's been eating the same cereal for breakfast for the past eight years that's who he is he one day I sorry I had to pause it to yawn um

He one day, I must have said this quote or whatever, he goes, don't treat people the way that you want to be treated. Treat people the way that they want to be treated. And it made me think, you know, we all want to be treated differently. We all have different love languages. We all have different things that we like and that mean more to us. For example, you could buy me, well, this is a bad example. Someone could hate gifts. Another person, a gift means the world to them, no matter how big or how small. You just...

You've got to pay attention to people. You've got to learn how people are. You've got to understand them and treat them in the way that they would want to be treated because you may not want to be treated the same way as them. Okay, next. Read books. Simple, pretty to the point. Next. It's not about what you come from or where you are. Your strongest desires and your subconscious dreams can be your reality. And this is true. It is very true.

You can do anything and whatever you don't end up doing is not something that you're meant to do. But any dream or passion project that is real, if it is real enough, you can accomplish it. And I mean it when I say that.

You can succeed. And you will succeed. You have to be the one to believe in yourself. Because I can pinky promise you, if you don't believe in yourself, and if you don't believe in those around you, it's not going to come for you. It's another one. It's probably on this list somewhere. But if you can't clap for others, it's never going to be your turn. That is one of my favorite quotes of all time. I have it engraved in my brain. Because...

I've struggled in the past with comparison. Not even judgment. It's literally just comparison. Like, I just... I get jealous of people who have done things that I would want to do. And I get... Like, I used to get upset with people instead of be proud of them when they would do something that I wished I could do. And I kind of learned that one that's just a really immature way to live your life and beyond that, it's just not worth it. Like, I'm never going to compare nowadays...

my chapter one my beginning to the end of someone's book you know it's all going to take time and just because someone else is doing something that I wanted to do or thought I would be able to do it doesn't mean that my life is any less worthy or any less valuable or I'm any less successful it's just simply we've been taught to compare on every level and yeah it just hearing that really made me

Proud of clapping for others and proud of other people for all of their accomplishments and not allowing it to affect me or believe that I'm anything less than amazing just because I didn't do whatever it was that this person did. It's a highlight reel. It's all just, we're all chasing each other. And for what? There's no need to do so. The next one I have, that's funny, is literally stop comparing your life to others. Okay. The next one. Sorry, I'm yawning again.

I don't know what is in the air. It's starting to get dark. That's probably why. Be with someone that you learn from each day. Grow one another. And I think that this goes beyond relationships. This is very big in friendships too. Surround yourself with people that you can learn from because, I don't know, maybe this doesn't apply to everyone. I love learning. You guys have heard me say it time and time again. I think that we can learn something from everyone and that we all have lessons to share with each other. But I like to surround myself with people that can teach me things. And...

More people can teach you things than you realize. Like, I don't mean be friends with teachers who are literally going to tell you about history or psychology. I'm saying look for lessons from other people. Like, just study people in this beautiful way and be inspired by people. And I don't know. Oh, my gosh. I just looked outside. It's so beautiful. The sky is so pink. Wow.

That is so good to know. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to completely pause like that, but that looks like a winter sunset right there, and I just got really excited. One thing about Florida, I absolutely hate the sunsets and the sunrises in the summer just because everything's just different. But in the winter, it's so beautiful and pink and magical. And to see it look like that outside right now, oh, I'm pumped to get back home and get back to my sunrise grind. Sorry, quick little distraction. The next one.

We're all programmed to require validation from others, and we need to change the program. No idea where I heard that, but the way that I incorporate it into my life is just recognizing that I can't please everyone. I can simply just be who I am and...

Hope for the best. If I know that I'm living a life with good intentions and I'm living a life that I love and I love who I am and who I'm becoming, then people's negativity can no longer affect me. I don't need their validation or at least I'm working on not needing validation. Okay, guys, quick little intermission. I'm telling you guys about something I've told you about before and I'm so excited to be sharing it with you. I'm actually coming at you live with this ad from Greece.

which I think is a perfect time to share with you that what I'm doing in between traveling is using HelloFresh. HelloFresh has so many good fall recipes right now, but if that's not what you're into, there's something for everyone. They have tons of new recipes to pick through weekly, so you can always find something that fits your needs and your diet. My friends are obsessed with it, I'm obsessed with it, and when I'm not using my meals, I give them to my mom, to my grandma, to my best friend, and it makes their day.

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If it was your last day on earth. Just think about it. It always hits me at like the most random times. I'll be having a really bad day. Just sitting thinking about all sorts of things. And that will come through my head. And it usually gives me a little bit of a spark. To get things back on track and feel better. And just enjoy my life even on the shitty days. Like make it all worthwhile. And this is something that I'm going to...

I'm going to highlight this one and just remind myself of it every day because I just have been struggling so much with this constant feeling of stress. And it's like a crippling feeling of stress. And it affects my friendships and my relationships. And I don't want it to. So I'm just going to remind myself that tomorrow isn't promised. And work does not have to take over my whole entire life. Okay, next. Um...

You never know what someone else is going through. This is a really big one. When I really applied this to my life, I think that I changed as a person. And I think I became a lot more sympathetic or... Not sympathetic. Wow. Empathetic. Like, I just...

Empath? Whatever. You know what I'm talking about. I just had a new soft spot for people. And this doesn't just go for sad people. This goes for anyone who's been mean. Anyone who's ever been a terrible person to you and made you feel really bad. Don't get me wrong. I know there's terrible, horrible, mean people. But for the most part...

These could just be people that are going through it. Like you have no idea what's going on at home for them. You have no idea what they're struggling with behind the scenes. And when you think about that, it's just a really good way to remember to give people grace and to not let negative people ruin your day. To just understand that it has nothing to do with you and no part of it is personal whatsoever. It's just people, you know? I don't know. It helps me a lot when I remember that and people are mean to me.

The next one, call your grandparents. Enough said. Keep in touch with them, okay? Family is forever and I want you to say hello to them. You should do that. You should pause this right now and you should go call them. I think I've read this actual list before on a podcast episode. I just don't know which one. A mistake that happens more than once is a decision. Keep that in mind. I'm not going to elaborate on it.

Just notice it. Okay, write it down somewhere and check yourself and not even just yourself. Notice your friends. Okay, remember that actions speak a lot louder than words like that. I wrote this one down because of a situation that happened with a friend as a reminder to me to pay attention to patterns and to notice that like, okay, this person. Yeah, has had said said sorry so many times but like at what point to start sorry stop working.

Like if you're going to say sorry to me 50 times and continue doing this action that I have made very clear really hurts me, sorry isn't going to cut it anymore. So I wrote this down and it just, it's a good reminder. But also for yourself. Okay, next one is, you can't be, this is my freaking favorite. I want to get it tattooed on my forehead. You can't be who you used to be and who you're going to be at the same time. Just let that soak in. Just think about that one for a second.

You cannot be who you used to be and who you're going to be at the same time. You have to make changes. You have to make sacrifices. You have to be willing to evolve if you want to. If you don't want to, then yeah, you know, the past version of you can just stick around. But if you want to be someone different in the future, you have to evaluate the things that you're doing in your life and with your life, you know? Yeah.

This one just, this is just hits me hard. It's so weird to think about. You're going to meet less than 1% of people in the world. Isn't that freaking insane? Let that soak in. Swallow that pill. There's a lot of people in this world. That being said, since you're going to meet less than 1% of people in the world, who cares what people think? There's so many people out there that like just no one cares. No one cares. Be whoever you want to be. No matter what anyone says. Okay. Okay.

Changing small habits changes your whole life. This is true. This is so absolutely true. Taking five minutes to, I don't know, write in your journal instead of scroll on TikTok sounds like a small change, but it's humongous and it will change a lot of different things in your life. And when you start small, the bigger changes get easier. And I just want you to think about that one, you know? Okay. Ooh, I like this one too. Stop thinking about what you're missing out on and look what's right in front of you.

This is a huge one to think about, especially if you found yourself struggling with appreciation or gratitude or feeling like you don't have enough or you always are wanting more, chasing more, whether it's more money, more career status, more or more status or more. Who knows? Whatever you're chasing more of, look around and pay attention to what you already have.

If you're constantly chasing more of something, no matter how much of it you have, it is never going to feel like enough. That's the problem with chasing. Appreciating, that's a whole different story. Take it all in, okay? You have everything that you need right in front of you, and I can promise you that. And if you don't feel like you do, you need to just really step back and evaluate. You are alive. You are able to breathe fresh air now.

If you're listening to this, you are able to have a Apple Music subscription or Spotify subscription or whatever it is. Like you, we all have it good. We all have struggles and I cannot in any way judge or justify what it is that you have going on in your life that is hard right now. I know that it is. And I'm not telling you that it doesn't have any heaviness. I don't know. I'm struggling to find the right word.

What I am saying is that it's a blessing that we're all even alive. And no matter what I go through, I really do have to remind myself of that because we can kind of forget that we have fresh air to breathe all the time. We take a lot of things for granted. If you are able to walk, if you are able to eat the things that you love, like, we got it okay. You know? It's just sometimes really important to think about what you do have instead of what you don't have. Okay, next. Next.

When you discover your self-worth, you lose interest in anyone who doesn't see it. This is true. This is a very, very, very, very, very valid point. And I think that a lot of people will dive deep into this on the relationship episode that I do. I think that a lot of people don't know their self-worth and they will let people walk all over them and treat them like shit. Should not be the case, okay? You are deserving of someone who truly loves you, every part of you, and doesn't make you feel any kind of

like pain or aching or like just negativity like you want someone to build you up not break you down and you can't let someone break you down so much that you lose track of who you are and who you are becoming and who you want to be because then you are pushing yourself further and further away from the person that you are meant to be with the person who is going to treat you like a princess for your entire life you know

Moving on. My mom is blowing up my phone right now. Someone told Jamie to stop texting me. The next one I have is the most beautiful thing we can do is learn how to let go of grudges, the past, and of poisonous people. This one's hard. I'm unfortunately more of a grudge holder than I would like to be. I don't mean to hold grudges. I just do. Not on little things.

But people who have really, really hurt me, that knew they hurt me, even with an apology, if I don't see people's actions really change, I have a hard time forgiving them. And I'll forgive them on the surface, but just deep down, it almost feels I have no control over the actual forgiveness. Just because I hold on to the pain. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

Because I do think it is very valuable to let go of a grudge, to not hold on to something so heavy because we just, our hands, our hands are full. We're holding on to enough heavy stuff. You know what I'm saying? Okay, next. My mom really is blowing out my phone. I'm getting so distracted. I'm going to pause this really quick and text her back before I go crazy.

Okay, I'm back. All right, I had to go do something because I'm always doing something. Let me tell you. Okay, the next one is Life's too short. Oh, ooh, I like this one. Don't expect we don't clearly communicate. This one for me, someone needs to write this on a shirt and wear it in front of me every single day. I need to write this on a mirror somewhere. I am not the world's greatest communicator. I like to like telepathically communicate with people.

Which doesn't work so well. Okay, people can't understand everything that's going on in your brain because we all have different brains Okay, no, no amount of hint dropping You're not gonna be able to get through certain people on certain topics you got to just use your big girl words and talk about things and Someone's got to remind me of that all the time. Okay, this this list is literally so long I'm gonna do another episode of this eventually everything is energy and

Yeah, end of story. Everything is energy. Be good energy. Bring good energy. That is one of the most important things of all time, okay?

Stop waiting for life to be perfect to enjoy it. Enjoy the bits of pain. Enjoy the hurt. Enjoy the stress. And obviously this is all very easy to say when I am in a point of enjoyment in my life and I'm very excited for what's to come in this moment. It's a lot harder for me to believe this and feel this when I'm going through it. Like if last week someone said this to me,

I probably would have just cried. Just cried. That's it. That's all. I would have just cried. Okay, next is emotions are the products of past experiences. When I really learned this and thought about it, I just, I'm struggling on how it was explained to me when I first wrote it down.

So I'm not going to even try because if I try to explain something I don't even understand, it just turns into a bunch of mumbo jumbo ramble jamble, which is already what I do. So we don't need the extreme version of that. There is nothing worse than breaking out before a big event, which is why I'm so excited to tell you about Apostrophe. I've told you about it before. I'm happy I get to tell you about it again. And it really comes in handy for me. My skin is super important to me and I never used to have problems with it. But the older I get, the more it likes to act up.

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You have to give up certain things in your life, okay? If you want to be someone who wakes up at 5 a.m. and runs every single day, you can't also be someone who goes to the club three times a week and gets absolutely hammered. Not because there's anything wrong with that. There's just not... Those are not two people that you can be at one time while staying balanced and staying okay. Like, you need your sleep, you know? I just...

You got to get rid of the things that aren't working if you want to create something new. If you're planting a garden, you got to get rid of the weeds. I really have always loved that one and I'm so glad I just rediscovered it. Never be afraid to tell someone you love them. Simple as that. End of story. Oh, this is where I have, ooh, my favorite one ever. Okay, this is the last one I'm going to leave you at just because...

I'm going to go pick up Lissette and I need to pack still. I leave tomorrow for the airport to go to Europe and I haven't packed. Do I? Am I ever going to get my life together? No, probably not. But it's just so fun, you know? Love being on the edge of my seat. Okay, where did it go? Never criticize the way that someone expresses joy. Mic drop, okay? The way that people laugh, the way that people smile, the way that people light up,

Never ever ever even jokingly make someone feel insecure For expressing joy It is one of the most crucial things in all of our lives to be able to express joy to feel happy to laugh to Smile and and when people make you feel bad About what your laugh is like or what your smile looks like. It's not something you recover from easily at all and

I just want to leave it at that, okay? And if someone ever criticizes the way that you express your joy, I want you to immediately distance yourself from that person. You deserve better, okay? You deserve to laugh as loud as you want, to cackle and to snort without ever being judged for it or anything along those lines. Okay, I love you. And I will maybe talk to you next Monday, maybe talk to you next Wednesday. It depends if I record with Lisette or not. But what I'm thinking is that...

I'm not because I'm a little bit stressed on time here. Next Wednesday, we'll chit chat. Okay, I'm going to continue this list. I'm going to give you a relationship episode. We're going to get into that alcohol episode. I'll be able to breathe a little bit easier after this trip because I have a couple weeks at home so I can do the real reset. Okay, I love you so much more than you'll ever know. You're my best friends. Okay, bye.