Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the moments podcast what a time to be alive If you're listening to this right now, we just launched collection four, which is literally so exciting I can't believe how fast time is flying. I can't believe that it's almost october and october is when We started this podcast two years ago. I don't know how i'm still finding things to talk about but Somehow some way we're here and we're here together
But speaking of running out of things to say, I definitely do find myself having a harder time to come up with things I want to talk about lately. Just because, sorry, I don't know if you guys can hear that delivery truck outside. It's so loud. Just because most of the things I do still want to talk about that I feel like I haven't really given a full episode to yet. I want to do my research. I want to do my studying. I want to take my notes and
But geez, like life is just, I don't even want to say life hasn't given me the time for that because that's putting that out into the world that I don't have enough time. But really there is enough time and my priorities just look different. And I, I'm not managing the time properly to make the time to do the studying, if that makes sense. Just because I got other things going on. There's, there's a whole lot of open cans right now. And you know, I'm only one person. That being said,
I had, oh my gosh, guys, I just need to throw this out there. Something freaking insane happened yesterday and I genuinely cannot tell you about it until December.
But I really wish that I could. But just know that God, he works. He is always working hard and he is always making sure the right things are placed in your life at the right time. And he really does have a plan. And this is one of those moments where I was like, okay, yeah, I see it. Like I see what you're doing for me and I want to give back to you and I want to give back to the world. And God is showing up. And I can't wait to tell you about what happened.
Point is, I was standing in my kitchen today knowing I needed to record. I honestly should have recorded yesterday, but life got ahead of me. Crazy thing happened. Yada, yada, yada. Standing in the kitchen, had this idea that I wanted to record an episode about all of the things that I've learned from my parents. You guys know...
I've mentioned countless times how blessed and lucky I feel that I am to have my parents. I feel really, really grateful for the childhood that I had and the memories that I've made with them. And even the lessons they were teaching me when I was younger and I hated learning them and I hated them for implying these lessons on me.
I have grown to be so grateful of and I just I kind of wanted to share this episode with you in case maybe you don't have the best relationship with your parents or maybe they haven't been around like these are just the things that my parents taught me that I These are just what I wrote down off the top of my head I didn't even sit here and deep dive and really think about the depths of all the lessons they've taught me Which is definitely more than i'm going to share with you But this is what comes right to the top of my head. Um
They have pushed these things on me for my whole entire life. And I want you to hear them, you know? I just think it's cool to learn about the ways that people were raised differently. And a lot of the time, like, that's why people become the person that they are. It's because of how they're raised and who raised them and what morals and values they were taught from when they were at a young age. And...
Feel lucky, you know, I I do believe that me and my brothers have turned out pretty okay so far knock on wood I'm gonna find some wood
just because of my amazing, awesome parents. And that being said, my parents have also really, really unfortunately given me some bad traits too. Like that's human. There's going to be things that I pick up on and learn from them subconsciously without even realizing that aren't necessarily the greatest traits. So I'm just going to openly share both of those things with you and everything that I can think of
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Don't be stupid. Anytime that I would leave the house in high school, in middle school, even now, whenever I'm like going back to my house or going on a trip somewhere, he always says, don't be stupid. My dad has drilled it into my brain and essentially it's just as it sounds. Like every decision that you make, like really think with your brain and, and simply don't be stupid. Okay. Don't drive 150 miles in a, in a neighborhood. Don't,
Do drugs. Don't steal. These are the things that he means when he says don't be stupid. And for some reason...
This is the one that sticks the most for me. It just works. It's just like one of those parenting things. Every time I say it to myself in my head, it's in his voice. And I'm telling you that this one comes the most in handy anytime I'm out drinking. Like even when I'm absolutely hammered, the only voice I hear in my head is my dad saying, don't be stupid. And I think it helps keep me responsible and it really does help me make good decisions. So that one's simple. I'm going to start with that and I'm going to give you that and we're going to leave it at that. The other thing that my dad has taught me
Like so locked in since I was probably straight out of the womb and he was trying to teach me this lesson. My dad's biggest thing is to always show appreciation and to always be grateful. He has told me this.
As long as I can possibly remember. Show appreciation and gratefulness and gratitude to everyone that you come across in this lifetime. Anyone who does something for you out of the kindness of their heart. Anyone who does something for you because they have to. Whatever the case is, just be grateful. And genuinely...
appreciate that person write thank-you notes write letters write whatever it is just you know there's a lot of people who fake thank yous and and don't actually appreciate anything that anyone does for them and I know that a lot of us know people like that like it's just very fake and fabricated since I was younger my dad has made sure that I do not become that kind of person and he
believe strongly that it is what is going to get you far in life and not just because like it's a good trait to have but because kindness does take you far and Appreciation does take you far and that kind of leads into so many other lessons that I'm going to share with you one of them being like to always Stay humble humble in the sense to always recognize what it is that you have already right in front of you and
It's kind of cool just sitting here and explaining these because it's making me realize that a lot of these are things that I now drill onto other people. You guys have heard me say most of these things a million times probably. And it's because it's what my parents put deep, deep in the depths of my brain. It's very cool. But not necessarily stay humble in the... Well, stay humble in all ways. But less of humbleness, like not bragging about what you have, but humbleness more...
In the way of appreciate what you have. Appreciate that you have a roof over your head. That you have food to eat. That you have a toilet to use. That you can be surrounded by your family. That you have other people in your life that feel like family. Like everything that you currently have is something to appreciate and to show gratitude towards and love.
When you do that properly, I do think it keeps you more humble in general. I think that when you appreciate what you have, you're less showy and chasing of what else is out there, if that makes sense. And I even noticed that within myself. When I am fully at home and I'm soaking in time with my family and my friends and going to the sunrise and paying attention to the little things,
I'm not craving more. I'm not comparing as much. Like just to give you another example, whenever I'm traveling, especially with other people, my comparison kind of kicks in, not in the sense of like, oh, I want what that person has. It's more like I feel this guilt that I don't have what that person has and I haven't been successful enough to get to that point. And I just get really in my head and I get really like needy and I get more like,
showy and braggy and and not not on a high level like just these are just things that I own I noticed within myself I noticed the way that my shot my thoughts shift and my mindset changes and instead of my mindset being focused on Appreciating what I've already got and being proud of what I've already done it goes to well I don't have this I can't afford this I haven't done this and I
Yeah, I guess I kind of just took that on a little bit of a ramble, but it's a very important thing. I'm really glad that my dad taught me that because I think it's one lesson that a lot of people lack in our lifetime. I mean, in a society like now where the freaking... What's the word I'm looking for? The polarization of classes and... What's the word I'm looking for? Incomes, like...
The poverty, everything, okay? Let me figure out what I'm trying to say. I sometimes think I lose my brain the most because this is constantly recording, so I don't have time to slow down and think about my thoughts, or at least I think that I don't, but I can. You guys aren't gonna go anywhere if I stop talking for one second. Deep breath. Do one with me while we're at it, okay? Let's breathe in and out. That was nice. I needed that.
Anyways, I still can't figure out the words that I'm looking for. But we live in a society where people want to have the most, do the most, and show the most, and say the most, and just... We're all... Everyone's trying to be too out there. Everyone is trying to compete with one another. And in a world like that, this is a good thing to remember, okay? We are all lucky. Everyone's problems, everyone's feelings, of course they're all valid. And...
You're going to feel things and go through things, but at the root of it, if you have a phone that you can listen to this on, you got something to be thankful for. And I used to, whenever I was in a bad headspace and people would try to tell me that, I'd be like, dude, I know. I'm not saying I'm ungrateful. I'm just saying I need to get through this and I'm just going to complain for da-da-da-da-da. I still do that sometimes, but...
I'm just, just reminding you, you know, I know the feeling of what it feels like to be like, dude, I'm not saying I'm ungrateful. I just need complain for a second. I get that. But in reality, we all are very lucky and we're lucky to be here and we're lucky to anyways, I'm going to shut up. I'm going to move to the next one.
Another thing that my dad and my mom have both taught me, I want to say my mom more so in this one. They've both mentioned it, but my mom is more takes action on it. My mom has always taught me to be careful with my money and to value my money and to pay attention to the little things that I'm doing with my money. Like she keeps me aware of how much I'm eating out, of how much I'm spending on getting my nails done.
how much I'm wasting on all of these little things. She is the stickler on that. And...
As much as I'm grateful that she's teaching me that, like, I haven't really been so good at applying that to my own life yet because I did get my dad's trait. My dad is more of a spender on stupid stuff. Like, they're both very, very careful with their money when it comes to big things and important decisions. But my dad will just, like, spend money on silly things just like I will. Like, you know, he'll get a beer at dinner instead of a water. And my mom's like, that's a $4 we could have saved kind of thing. Constant. I've heard this for years and years and years and years. But,
My mom has always taught me to save money and to be careful with my money. My dad has taught me to kind of spend on the fun stuff. And I think there's a fine line there and a good balance that can be met. And since I'm both of their kids, I do think I'm somewhere in the middle. Maybe not. I don't know. Definitely more like my dad. So take that in any way that you'd like. If you want to learn my dad's lesson, spend your money on fun stuff. If you want to learn my mom's lesson, save all of your money until the day that you die.
That's just how she is. Both are great things. I really do believe that. I think that it's valuable to save your money, but I also believe why make money if you're not going to spend it on things that you enjoy and experiences that you love. I'm always going to say that. I'm also a huge believer in you've got to spend money to make money. I've said it forever. I don't know where I got it from. It's kind of like the energy you put out is the energy you bring in. That's the way I see it.
You gotta spend money to make money. You gotta invest in your dreams. You gotta invest in your hobbies. You gotta invest in yourself. All of these things will eventually, hopefully, bring something back in. And if they don't, you didn't hear that from me. The next one that I have, this is a big one from my dad. For some reason...
I'm starting to realize that most of the lessons that I have that stick the most in my brain are the ones that have come from my dad. I don't know if it's just because like things that dads say are a little bit scarier and more intimidating and they just stick in your brain. This one's also my dad.
I am someone who is very impulsive. We know this. I bought a van when I saw it on the internet and had never seen it in person. I will book trips the day before. I'm impulsive. I can't help it. It is written in my DNA, literally in my brain scan, which, by the way, I need to go make a follow-up appointment for so that I can tell you guys everything I learned from my brain scan. But what I was getting at, I'm impulsive.
And I make decisions very quickly and I don't think things through. My dad, I want to say also has taught me this, but she supports all of my impulses. So I'm giving this one to my dad. He's getting the credit here. Take time to make decisions and really look at things, go through them, evaluate everything before you commit to something. And
I think this is more so on a bigger scale. This is not on the little things scale because my dad is also impulsive on the little things scale. But on the big things scale. Let's take the van for example. I saw a van on the internet. I've always wanted to do van life. A mutual friend of mine was selling it. If you don't know this story, it's a great one, but I'm not going to get into it. I text him that I'm buying this van. Me and my mom fly out to California. We hand over a check for basically at the time my whole savings.
And then we drive the van about three hours, breaks down, we never get our money back. And my dad said, before I bought the van, don't you think you should see it first? Don't you think...
This might not be the best idea. Don't you think if you have to tap into your savings, maybe it's not the right time or the right decision. He's also like, you're not going to be able to do van life by yourself. I'm not letting you go solo travel the world or the country right now. Did you see what just happened to literally any female ever alone? Bad things. So...
Yeah, make the right decisions, okay? This is when I'm really doing my best to apply to my life. I can't control the impulsivity, but I can do my best to at least be aware of it. Make the right decision. Take the time to decide. Evaluate the pros, the cons, the future, the present. Just think about things. It's as simple as that. I really do value that lesson, and hopefully we all can.
work on making better, healthier decisions and not do stupid, impulsive crap.
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You are guilty by association. And what she means by this is something that I talk about a lot. Is you are who you surround yourself with, okay? If you are hanging out, and this is how she put it in high school. She said, Lexi, if you're going to hang out with this popular group, whatever crowd it was. And they are doing drugs or they are doing whatever it is that they're doing, bad things. And you are with them, even if you're not doing those drugs or those bad things...
Do you guys hear that? That's my grandpa just popping in to say hello. Hi, Poppy. Um...
I was saying, if you are with people doing those things, you are also guilty by association. Your reputation will still be affected even if you are not actively participating in those things. So obviously this used to piss me off because the people who did the worst things in high school were the coolest people in high school. We've touched on this many times before and I always wanted to be everywhere with them and I got like,
kind of person in high school who I wasn't directly in this like super popular group but I could get invited to some of the things because I was friends with some of the people in the popular group whatever whatever
My mom said no to a lot of things because she knew who the good kids were and who the bad kids were. And this isn't like to say that these kids are bad now. It's just at the time, at the age that we were, my mom didn't want me participating in certain things, which I think is super valid. But I look back and I was absolutely ticked. I'm like, what do you mean, mom? I'm 16. Why can't I go on the boat and get blacked out?
Like Lexi, think about that. I was five years under age with a bunch of other underage people all hammered on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You know, when I think about that, I realized it kind of maybe wasn't that safe. And maybe I am grateful that my mom only let me do that once or twice. I did not need to be doing that every single weekend. Um,
obviously everyone has a different experience and I think that the times have changed a little bit since then like if that's something that you're doing and it works for you and you're taking care of yourself I'm literally not here to judge it's all I wanted to do in high school or like if you're the opposite and I say that and you're like what the heck nobody does that where I live it's different everywhere South Florida is actually freaking crazy and and I know that point is point of the story here
Be aware of who you keep around you, okay? Make sure they are people who are lights in your life. They inspire you. They do good things. They have goals. They take care of themselves and their mental health. And I just, I really like to pay attention to who I'm keeping around me because my mom has always told me to just be aware of who I'm surrounding myself with. Very simple.
But this one hits the hardest for me if you are one of those people who's in high school, who's in college. Any time in your life where there are big things that are coming up like college acceptances, job applications. Like these are times in your life where you do have to be pretty aware of who...
You're being perceived as. Unfortunately. I mean, your future is kind of on the line in some of these situations. And the saddest thing I could imagine is for you to get denied from your dream college because of some video of you on a boat from your senior year. I watched this happen to a couple of people I went to high school with. Given one, I would never do this and I would never associate with someone who does this. But these girls threw away their whole entire future because of it.
Or at least put a nice little damper in it and mess things up for themselves for a little while. There were like a bunch of underage kids on a boat. They're like throwing litter off the boat and flicking off some camera that's videoing them. And it was just really...
I don't consider to be appropriate behavior and the video got posted on the internet. It went viral and people found out who this girl was and started like DMing the college she was going to. I don't even know. I'm not going to get any more into it because I have no place to say because I have no, I have no idea what happened after that. But,
Just be careful, okay? Be a good person. That's step one. Have good intentions and surround yourself with people who do the same. Next. My dad taught me this one. Listen, my dad drives me insane by teaching me this one. There's a lot of things all come into my house. I'll bust in being really passionate about feeling super strongly about whether it's politics or something going on in the world.
My dad loves to play devil's advocate. And by that, I mean he just loves to just egg on the other side. And it drives me crazy. But the moral and the reasoning and why he does it is a great message. He does it to make me think about all sides of every story. He also does it to get on my nerves, I'm pretty sure. But it reminds me every time to see both sides of the story and to not just...
I give have my opinion so strongly that I'm not willing to listen to other people because that is that is the one thing that I even try to teach everyone that I know or remind everyone that I know constantly. You have to keep an open mind. And I talk about it all the time. And there are certain topics that I'm not really open minded about. Yeah.
Which is okay, but most things, you know, we should be. You got to be willing to listen to the other side and hear them out and then be able to make your decision and take it from there, you know? Next one I have. Never stop creating. This one came from my mom. My mom has always been a dream catcher. She has it tattooed on her. She has always...
been one of the most creative people that I know. She has started so many different small businesses. She has taken them from the ground and made them something and she just never gives up and she never stops chasing and she never stops creating and she always has the greatest ideas and she really is the one who supported me and inspired me the most to feel like I could chase my dreams and I don't know who I would be without her. She has always been the one to
support taking the less traveled route, you know, going down the beaten path or what's the word I'm looking for? Whatever. Instead of taking the yellow big road, she's like, girl, take the green one. Whatever that means. It worked better in my head. She's always creating. She's always inspiring. She is a little entrepreneur and I wouldn't be me without her. And I think we both inspire each other to just keep doing new things and never be afraid to do new things or to try new things.
The next one I have is to... This is my dad, more so than my mom. Never grow up. Always be young, okay? Always enjoy your life and soak it in and take the weekends to be stress-free and to do fun things and to go to the zoo. And my dad is such a goofball. Like, this guy makes me laugh 24-7 and sometimes with jokes that would make a 3-year-old laugh. But I laugh like a 3-year-old. So...
Always be young. Okay, you never have to grow up. Age is literally just a number. It is it is nothing more than that. Obviously, as you get older, you got to pay taxes and bills and all that stuff. But in your heart, you can always be young. And that's the beauty of it. Right? So never grow up. That's key. That is so key.
The next one that I have is from my mom and my dad. This one's definitely both of them. And what I think to be one of the most valuable things, like at the time I didn't realize I was so lucky to have this in my parents. My parents have always taught me without realizing it, like unintentionally.
They have always raised me to have a great relationship with food. And I want to emphasize this one so much because I know there's the trend of almond mom. You know, people talk about on TikTok, which is essentially parents who make you feel bad about what you eat or how you eat or monitor your weight or what you look like. And that breaks my heart. There's actually quite a few people that I know
Like moms that I know on a personal level that are like this and it breaks my heart because I can see that it all stems from their own body image issues. And one of the most important things for me to share with you guys is to give your body the fuel it deserves to eat what makes you happy and to.
eat everything in moderation like you deserve to have ice cream whenever you want it really and to eat pasta and carbs and to not be afraid of food and there are a lot of parents in this world who don't believe that because they're struggling with what they eat that they take that out on their children and it just sticks with them forever and ever and ever and
I've seen it in my friends. I've seen it in people that I know. I've seen it in just people that I watch on the internet talking about it, which is why I never really understood how lucky I was to have my parents who always...
put good food on the table and by good food, I mean, it wasn't just a vegetable and a meat. Like my parents, my dad makes chimichangas and fried rice and he just makes food that tastes good and it feeds your soul. And there was never any discussion at the table about what our bodies looked like or how healthy what we were eating was. Um,
But I will say my parents always encouraged activity. You know, we were always playing sports or growing up doing cheer. And I think that that was a beautiful way to keep us healthy. It was all about like our physical activity, not what we were putting into our bodies. And...
I'm just so grateful for that. And if I can share with you anything, if your parents didn't teach you that and they hurt your relationship with food, let me just remind you that you deserve it. It is fuel. Your body does so much for you. And you guys have heard me say this time and time again. You deserve to eat good food. You deserve to feed your soul and to love on yourself and enjoy whatever it is that you want to enjoy. Enough of that.
You get the point. Okay, food is good. Food is your friend. And if your parents didn't teach it to you, let me please remind you right now. The next one that I have, this one I really strongly believe is from my dad. And I believe that I have the friendship that I do with Lissette, my sister since 2005, because of my dad. My dad always puts his friends first. He always
has his best friends from high school that are still his best friends and they are now like second parents to me and my family friend group is like 30 people there's five different families and we all just have
so much fun together and I really do feel like I have tons of sets of parents which is really special and my dad just treasures and values friendship so much. He loves his friends, he takes care of his friends, he puts his friends first, he makes his friends feel seen and I don't know, we just do everything with our friends and I think that that's awesome and he just, he loves his friends and it is really...
wait on me because it has taught me to love my friends and to be there for my friends and to just hang out with my friends and always make time for them and yeah I just think it's special he's taught me a lot about friendship um I really would say those are the things that come to the top of my head when I think about what my parents have taught me um there's so much more I'm sure and I could probably do another part to this if this had any value to you let me know um
But a very quick few of the bad things that my parents taught me. One, my mom has never been good at feeling her emotions. She is an emotion suppressor. She gave that trait to me. It's beautiful because she's so strong and she's always like been strong and shown her strength in front of me even through the hardest of struggles. She's never showed me her hurt, which as a kid growing up,
obviously I think is amazing but as an adult now I think that vulnerability is beautiful and it's okay to show weakness because showing weakness really is showing strength in its own way and obviously times were different vulnerability was a lot less talked about in 2008 when the whole market crashed and both my parents lost their jobs and I was seven years old than it is you know now when there's like 10 million books on feeling your feelings and
But she passed that trait to me. And now I'm just getting to a point where I am better at feeling my emotions and sharing them and treating myself with grace and compassion. But the other one I have, my dad. This one's for my dad. My dad is still kind of relates in the same way. Very much like a manly man. He's like, you need to go to college and do this. And I don't know how to explain it. He's just very type A and by the books. Like that's what my dad can be like sometimes.
And I just want to be like, dad, times have changed. Okay. I'm independent. I don't need to like, that one's not that important. And I don't know why I wrote it down because I don't know how to explain it. But point is, my dad has never been really the one to like push me to go do the unexpected riskiest version of things. He likes a little bit of a security blanket.
And then he comes around. Like, he ends up being very supportive of anything I do because I make that work. But my mom is always like, go for it. And that's the only reason I can and I do. But yeah, that's my parents. I feel so lucky to have them. And I genuinely believe that the older I get, the closer I'm building my relationship with them. And...
I also just want to say that relationship hasn't always been there with them. Like, if you're 16 and you're listening to this and you're like, dude, I'll never be that close with my parents. Like, why would you want to hang out with your parents? I was the same way. Like, genuinely, I was the same exact way until I started hanging out with my parents and I started to teach myself and remind myself that my parents are just older versions of me. They're figuring life out the same way that I am one day at a time and...
They're not out to get me. They're actually just trying to see me be the best version of me and they want to see me win. And we're really all just figuring out life together and why not support each other instead of root against each other. And it's as simple as that. Just love your parents and try to look at them in a different light and know that they're doing everything for you, not against you. And if they are...
Well, we can share parents. My parents are your parents now. Anyways, I love you guys. I will talk to you next Monday. Hit me in the DMs if you guys want to talk about anything specific. We'll make it happen. I love you.