Breaking New Hampshire’s Weirdest Laws
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Would you pass the salt, Ray? Yeah, here you go. Thank you. Man, I love breakfast at a diner. I mean, is there anything better? No, not much. And this Portsmouth, New Hampshire diner has got everything you want. Eggs, pancakes, corned beef, hash, bacon, so much great stuff. I think my favorite part about a diner breakfast is that you don't have to make it or clean it up. I mean, how many times at home do you make a huge production out of breakfast? Almost never. I mean, maybe a few times a year, a couple holidays, I guess.

Would you pass the sugar, please? Uh, yeah. Hold on a second. What are you doing with that ruler? So, I'm measuring the opening of this sugar-pouring container. Why? Because it needs to be less than three-eighths of an inch, or it's against the law. You're kidding. I'm not. We've come to New Hampshire to explore some really weird laws, and then break them. ♪

Hey, I'm Jeff Belanger. Welcome to episode 387 of the New England Legends podcast. And I'm Ray Osher. Thank you for joining us on our mission to explore all the wicked strange parts of New England one story at a time. From weird laws to haunts to UFOs, monsters, roadside oddities and more. If it's strange, we want to know about it. And most of our story leads come from you. So please reach out to us anytime with your story leads. We'll go breaking some strange laws from the Granite State right after this word from our sponsor.

Alright, so I'm about to add some sugar into my coffee. Right. The sugar is in a pouring jar on the table, like the ones you've seen in countless diners over the years. Yeah, they pretty much all look the same. And you're telling me the size of the pouring hole in that jar has to meet a standard, or it's against the law? We would of course be referring to Title 143 of New Hampshire state law. Of course, yes. Yeah, we all know that one. Referring to sanitary production and distribution of food, specifically 143 Section 68.

regarding sugar packets and containers that state, and I quote...

All right, yeah. I mean, who could forget that day? Exactly. So the argument seems to be that they don't want open sugar bowls because that wouldn't be sanitary.

So, me unscrewing this lid. Ray, what are you doing? And spooning in the sugar out of the open jar. Ray! You're saying that I just broke the law? Sort of. I mean, I imagine this might be more on the restaurant to not let you do that. I'm surprised no one's tackled you or tried to make a citizen's arrest. Okay, the open sugar bowl thing does make sense for sanitary reasons.

But still, it seems like a silly law. And it is a silly law. And we have many of them. So back on February 10th, 2025, President Trump signed an executive order regarding the use of paper straws over plastic ones. The order said states and counties were no longer allowed to mandate restaurants to use paper straws. Oh, I remember hearing about that one. I don't think this is one of our country's biggest problems right now. But what can you do? I don't think so either. And to be fair, the order doesn't say you can't use paper straws.

It just says states and counties can't force restaurants to do it. But anyway, back to New Hampshire. Let's head outside. And we'll take a drive north to the White Mountains National Forest. Oh man, you had the pedal to the metal. Northbound and down. I know we had to get to the White Mountains quick. Plus, if we're already breaking laws, why stop now? Good point. All right, let's head into the forest trail so we can break another law.

Now, why did you bring a trash bag? Well, we're hiking in the White Mountains National Park. I thought maybe we could do a little cleanup of any trash we see. Oh, that seems like a nice thing to do. Yeah, of course. There's a saying in hiking that you should leave only footprints, take only pictures. But not everyone got the memo. There's a crushed beer can over there.

It looks like an old sandwich bag here. We can throw that in, too. You know, it always bums me out when people get themselves out into nature and then litter. I don't get it at all. If nature calls to you, do better, you know? I couldn't agree with you more, but I'm glad we're picking up either way. Oh, there's a park ranger up ahead. I bet he'll be thrilled to see us doing a little cleanup. Hey there, Mr. Ranger. Ray, no. What are you doing? What? I'm waving to the park ranger. Ray, we got to get out of here. Run! Run!

Why are we running? Because if that park ranger catches us, he'll write us a ticket. For what? Okay, I think we lost him. So in New Hampshire, it's illegal to clean up litter in the White Mountains National Forest without a permit. Shut the front door. You're kidding. No. The full law says you can't rake the beaches, pick up litter, haul trash away, or build a park bench without a permit...

Otherwise, it's a $150 fine. And I was just about to say, we should build a park bench right here. I know, crazy, right? Completely crazy. So it turns out the main reason behind this seemingly weird law is that there's historic artifacts out here in the woods. Old iron horseshoes and other items of historical significance...

and they don't want those items removed. And in our all-or-nothing litigious society, we need the rule to apply to all trash or none. Exactly. So the crushed beer can is placed on the same level as iron artifacts from centuries ago. And that's what happens when you play lawyer ball, I guess. You're right. Hey, since we're here in the mountains, maybe we could do a little hunting. Sure. Let's see what kind of game we can find.

Okay, I guess we can start by looking for tracks. Oh, there may be deer tracks over there. See? Yeah, yeah, maybe. Well, let's follow them for a little bit. Um, what in the world did you just pull out of your backpack? This? Yeah, that. Is that a ferret? Yeah, this is Mr. Fluffkins. Mr. Fluffkins? I brought him to help us hunt. Are you crazy? Why? Ferrets are good hunters, Ray. Because it's against the law in New Hampshire to bring your ferret hunting. It is? I thought everyone knew that, Jeff.

I'm, of course, referring to New Hampshire state law, Title 18, Chapter 207, Section 6 that states, ready? And I quote, Okay. The law went into effect in 1935.

So me even having Mr. Fluffkins out here in the woods with us is breaking the law right now. It is. Originally, ferrets were used to hunt rabbits. Very few people did this, but the concern was that if some ferrets got into the wild and started reproducing, it could mess up the balance of the ecosystem. Then I guess we better get out of here. And since we're already on the lamb, let's head southbound and down for one more stop back in Portsmouth. Our last stop will be here at the beach. I'm glad this is our last stop. The daylight is fading fast.

Spring is almost here, though we're a little early for a trip to the beach. It's still not a bad day as dusk settles. Hey, I see a cop over there watching the beach. Hello, officer. Ray, what time is it? About quarter to seven in the evening. No, no, no. I need to know the exact time, Ray. Okay. Checking my phone. 644. Okay. All right. Good. Let's head down to the surf.

Ew, what are you doing? Is that seaweed? It is. I'm pulling some out of the surf to take it home. Why would you do that? I guess because I can. Jeff, seaweed is gross. It's all slimy. Yuck. And the police officer seems to be taking an interest in what you're doing, Jeff. The cop keeps checking his watch. All right, Ray, I'm going to set this seaweed here.

Okay, so what time is it now? Are you kidding? No, I'm not. Okay, okay. My phone says 6.49 p.m. Perfect. So today in Portsmouth, sunset was 6.47 p.m. So now it's technically after sundown. Oh, okay. What's your point? So Title 207 of the New Hampshire State Law, the general provision as to fish and game, Section 48 says, and I quote...

If any person shall carry away or collect for the purpose of carrying away any seaweed or rockweed from the seashore below high water mark between daylight in the evening and daylight in the morning, he shall be guilty of a violation. The law dates back to 1973. So if you pull seaweed out right now, it's against the law? Right. But when you did it five minutes ago, it wasn't against the law. Nope. Get ready. I'm going back in for more.

The cop, the cop is coming your way, Jeff. Run, run.

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or go to our website and click on episode 387. We didn't travel through time. No, we didn't. We just broke some laws. Yeah. Three, by my count. Which is good, because I... Well, not breaking of laws, but I usually can't sleep for at least two days after time travel. Yeah. No, it's exhausting for sure.

So I love some of these old laws that are still on the books, right? And there's many others. These are just some fun ones that came up as I was searching. And every state has got them. Oh, yeah. Not just New Hampshire. We're picking on New Hampshire this week because we're due, but...

every state has got some silly, silly laws that just never got removed. Because something silly happened at one time that somebody addressed and it was like, oh, now we're going to make a law about that. So the ferret thing, which is funny, because like how many times have you seen someone hunting with a ferret? If I had a dollar, right? How many times have you seen somebody with a ferret?

Outside of the house. Okay, that I have. I've seen people walking around with like a pet ferret on a leash, like crawling around. I've seen people with parrots on their shoulders in Worcester, right? Like I did, you know? So once in a blue moon, but hunting. Yeah. So I sort of get it. Yellowstone, they removed all the wolves years ago.

And it messed everything up because the wolves are a natural predator. They were keeping the deer population in control. Right. It's funny when you think you're doing something good by removing something dangerous, you think it helps and you can mess up a whole ecosystem. Oh, sure. Everything has a purpose. We have to stay away from it as humans and allow it to happen. I also understand, though, that you're not meant to introduce speciesism.

species that were never from an area. So I get that. It's not like the wolves were there, right? Ferrets, not. Ferrets weren't in New Hampshire. So I sort of understand why.

But yes, someone along the way was just like, if I see one more ferret, I'm going right to my rep and dragging him out here in the woods and being like, look, this is bad. Yeah, because again, this stuff was an issue at one time. Yeah. Like seaweed, people collecting seaweed was an issue at one time. But what made it an issue? And literally, daylight's okay, but after sundown, you know, sunset, there's a specific time that sunsets. If you did it three minutes before, you're okay. Three minutes after, you're not. Right.

Okay, so after it sets, you're walking around with armfuls of seaweed, right? And somebody sees that. Gross already. And now they're calling the newspaper saying there's a sea monster on the shore. Right. So that got annoying, and they said, no more seaweed after dark. Yeah, yeah. During the daylight, they can see you're just a lunatic, right? But at night, you could be a monster. Yeah. I don't know. One of the things, and I confess, I didn't have the time or the energy to look this up

I want to see how many arrests were made, how many tickets were written, you know? Like, when's the last time someone got a citation for having a ferret while hunting? You know, was it like 1941 and that was it? Maybe one of our listeners can do some research on this one and let us know. This is one of those projects that could take literally the rest of your life. Like,

That's a rabbit hole. It's a ferret hole. If you're 20 years old right now, it could take 60 more years to get to the bottom of this. But I don't even know who would have those numbers because who keeps track of citations written by park rangers in the 1950s? You got to go through all the police records in Portsmouth from the last 100 years, 200 years. This is a deep dive. If you're up for the challenge, go right ahead. Yeah, by all means. Or you want to ask a cop like, hey, Portsmouth cop, too bad you're not still on the radio. This would be a perfect- I know, it would. This would be a perfect

bit for your morning show right so you just say okay uh you know you're still enforcing these things yeah so hey quick question uh officer questions about the law okay you're at the beach got it uh it's uh it's just past sundown you know the light's almost gone from the world and you see someone pulling seaweed out of the sea what do you do what do you do what do you do and he's like uh

Remember my training. Nothing. All right. I do nothing at all. Wells officer. I happen to know. Title one, whatever. It's against the law. They'll react to that well, I'm sure. Yeah. Correcting them. Yeah. They love that. They're like, oh, great. So that's, yeah. Imagine I'd be cop of the year writing tickets for that one. Or just try it. Just go there and physically grab some seaweed and walk past a cop. And when they don't say anything, you can-

You can challenge him and say, excuse me, sir, I just broke the law in front of you and you did not react properly. Or if you walk by the officer and he just looks the other way, then you go rob a bank. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because obviously he gave you the okay to break laws. He's like, well, hey, you break one law, you can break any, right? Yeah.

Are we going to pick and choose? Oh, this is the cool cop. He actually winked at me as I walked by with seaweed. This law is okay to break. The others aren't. You got to tell me here, right? It's all or nothing. Then the newspapers the next day, sea monster robs bank. Yeah. And there's chaos. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's a form of camouflage somebody used to do something bad in the dark. And they said, no more seaweed costumes in the dark. What about picking up trash too? That was weird. It is. And I get it. Yeah.

And by the way, I usually will take like a grocery bag with me when I'm hiking. Yeah. And I always pick up trash. And I've done that in the White Mountains. So I am guilty of this crime for sure. Right. But also, no park ranger is going to see you picking up a beer can and stop you. Right. Right. But I guess, I mean, there are, I saw this website that showed some historic artifacts that have been found out in the woods. Old rusted like machines and stuff like that related to farms from centuries ago.

And I get that. I get that they're like, hey, don't just pull that out of here because it's a historic artifact. But you're right. We write our laws for all or nothing. There's nothing reasonable in our laws anymore. Someone's saying, come on, you know the difference between picking up trash and picking up a historic artifact. Like a cotton gin. Yeah, right. You don't have to be an archaeology expert to say, oh, crush Coke can or... Could it be that you could hurt yourself?

I don't know. And they don't want that? They don't want to have to come in and bandage your severed finger because you cut it on a Coke can from 1924? I don't know, man. Like every time I've been hiking, I enjoy the beauty of nature. I enjoy that it is pristine. And when I see it dirtied, it gets me mad. And by the way, that's probably most hikers, right? So it's not uncommon for you to have like your grocery bag. Yeah.

And if you see a few things, you just grab it and you toss it when you get home. Right. But by the way, it's rare to see anything because most hikers have the same feeling. I was going to say that. Yeah. And if you do see something, it's probably a mistake. Sure. Something blew out of someone's hand. They couldn't grab it. Yeah. And you found it later and fine. Pick it up. Um,

You know, it's possible. So, yeah. So I get that. But the idea of a permit. And then building a park bench. I thought that was funny, too. Like, that was added into the law. Because some knucklehead did it. Remember that time you're walking through the woods and you see these guys building a park bench? And you're like, hey, that's nice that you're putting a bench out here. What a beautiful place to see a view. And they're like, yeah, don't tell anyone, man. We don't have a permit for this. Wouldn't it be easier to build a bench and then carry it to the spot instead of taking all that lumber and tools? Wait a minute.

You know what? Keep talking. Okay. You think that's what it was? We have the law, word for word. No, because my question is. Placing, building on site. So if you carry it in, is that legal? Right, right. And if you build it. You've already built it. Hold on. We've got to find the exact thing. Yeah, you've got to look at the fine print and read it very carefully because I've been thinking about it. It says build a park bench without a permit. So if it was already built and you place it. Oh, but then are you littering?

I don't think that would be considered littering because it's not trash. Oh, we found a loophole. It's a structure. Yeah. And right now they're racing to the New Hampshire State Courthouse, to the state house. We got to change this. Jeff and Ray are on their way. Yeah. Change it quick. We got to, you know, carry or build. We just got to add a word in there. You're still guilty of $150 fine. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. They'll draw attention to that law and they'll say, why do we have this law? Now we got to get rid of this. Yeah, because some knucklehead podcasters are building park benches in the woods.

So, yes, someone did something along the way and they're like, now we need a law for that that's going to get enforced like twice and then be forgotten about. But, yeah, we live in our society is weird and that it has to be all or nothing with so many of our laws because we take such a passionate position on certain things that one little crack.

Where any reasonable person would say, well, come on. One little crack in the armor, you say, well, yeah, if that goes down, then what's to lead you to the next domino, the next domino, the next domino? And then you take everything away. And it's too bad we can't be reasonable because then we end up with stupid laws like these.

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