Shownotes Transcript
Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Spring is in full swing, so take some time for self-care this spring. Now through April 22nd, buy two self-care items and save $2. Shop in-store or online for self-care essentials like Tom's Toothpaste, Soft Soap Liquid Hand Soap, Colgate Optic White Toothpaste, and Colgate Total Toothpaste and save $2 when you buy two participating items. Offer ends April 22nd. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit Safeway.com for more details.
Welcome, legendary listeners. Thanks for tuning in to From the Vault, a second look at some of our classic episodes. Look for a new episode every week. Now, can you go back and listen on your own at OurNewEnglandLegends.com? You bet. But you won't get the added bonus of an After the Legends segment featuring new commentary about that episode from your old pals Jeff and Ray. So let's open up the New England Legends Vault and revisit another legendary episode.
Hey kids, welcome to The Vault. We are here in The Vault with a very rare book. One of a kind, you might say. It's a Boston book bound in human skin. First aired April 29th, 2021. Enjoy. So Jeff, what brings us to the heart of Boston today? We're looking for a book, Ray. Then I guess it makes sense to be standing in front of the Boston Athenaeum right here on Beacon Street. Well, a library is a good place to look for a book. Let's go inside.
All right, should we browse the fiction section, nonfiction section? Where do we start? This one is going to be found in their rare book collection. Now, the book we're looking for has a long and clunky official title. It's called The Narrative of the Life of James Allen, alias George Walton, alias Jonas Pierce, alias James H. York, alias Burley Grove,
The Highwaymen. That is a long title. So what makes this book so special? Well, first, it's the deathbed confession about the life of a career criminal. But it's how the book is bound that's particularly interesting to us. So you're saying we came into Boston just to check out the cover of an old book. We did, because this book isn't just about the criminal life of James Allen. It's covered in leather made from Allen's skin.
I'm Jeff Belanger, and welcome to episode 193 of the New England Legends podcast. If you give us about 10 minutes, although this week I think we're going to need a little more time than that, we'll give you something strange to talk about today. And I'm Ray Ogier. Boston, Massachusetts is the next stop on our mission to chronicle every legend in New England, one story at a time. So many of our story leads come from you legendary listeners, just like this one. Thanks to Janine Pipe for tipping us off.
We love it when you reach out to us through social media, through our website, our super secret Facebook group, or when you call or text our legend line anytime at 617-444-9683. We do love hearing from people in our growing community. Now, before we go searching for this rare and macabre book, we want to take just a minute to tell you about our sponsor, Nuwadi Herbals. Man, there's nothing like curling up to a good book bound in human skin and sipping a warm cup of tea.
That's so true, I guess. This week I've been facing a lot of deadlines and house projects head on, so I'm drinking the Warrior Tea by Nuwadi Herbals. The herbs and fruits in the Warrior Tea are packed with antioxidants, ingredients like blueberries, cranberries, lemon peel granules, grapeseed extract, and so much more. At the end of a long day, there's nothing better than the wash-my-pain-away bath salts from Nuwadi Herbals. I put in half a cup as the tub fills,
and let the natural herbs and salts ease my tension in my muscles. It's good for the body and for the soul. These are herbal remedies from Mother Earth. Check out the Nuwadi Herbals website to see all of their great products, and you legendary listeners get 20% off your order when you use the promo code LEGENDS20 at checkout. Visit nuwadiherbals.com. That's N-U-W-A-T-I, herbals, with an S, dot com.
All right, Jeff. So we're looking for a deathbed confession book by a former highwayman. That's right. This guy was a career criminal. But the book is bound in his actual skin? It is, and that's kind of gross, isn't it? And that book is in the Boston Athenaeum? It is. It's a short book, a memoir dictated by the author as he lay on his deathbed. So let's head back to 1837 and meet James Allen.
It's late June of 1837, and we're at the hospital wing section of the Massachusetts State Prison in the Charleston section of Boston. 28-year-old James Allen is laying in bed sick with consumption as the warden is writing down everything the sick inmate is telling him. I made several attempts to obtain employment in the merchant service as a seaman, but was in every case abruptly refused by the owners.
i finally succeeded in getting employment on board a market fishing schooner under captain j smith a pretty clever sort of man when not under the influence of ardent spirits
of which article he kept a full supply on hand and was not often outdone by any of the crew in the use of it. James Allen was born in Lancaster, Massachusetts, about 30 miles west of here. He doesn't have family to speak of, so he came to Boston at age 15 to look for work. That's what landed him on Captain Smith's vessel.
and set off a string of events that would eventually lead him here to prison, dictating his confession while we watch him slowly die. Captain Smith wasn't just a drunk. He's spending money he doesn't have, including the crew's wages. Pretty soon, Captain Smith is jailed for debt, which leaves James Allen out of a job. And to make things worse, he was never paid his last wages.
So now he's in Boston and in desperate need of money. Two or three days after leaving the vessel, I was requested by a man, a stranger to me, to assist him in carrying a trunk, which I presumed was his own property, to a house in South Back Street in Boston. On noticing the man more closely, I observed he looked rather suspicious and appeared to be acting with more than usual caution.
which led me to apprehend that all was not right with respect to the trunk. I learned afterwards that the man was Stephan Sims, an old state prison convict. Sims gave me $10 for assisting him.
This was my first proceeding in which I ever had anything to do with stolen property, and was the precursor of my future destiny. Help some guy move a trunk for ten bucks. Not bad, right? No, that's a lot of money for a quick task. It was too easy, really.
It's right here that his life of crime begins. Sims offers to pay James money anytime he needs it. Obviously, payment would be made for performing, you know, certain acts that are just outside of the law. Now, at first, James refuses. But as his $10 dwindles in the coming week, he needs to find some cash to pay for his boarding house. That's when Sims comes calling again with a proposition.
Sims explains to James that there's a fortune to be split. Thousands of dollars in banknotes are at a store at the corner of Charles and Beacon streets. All they have to do is break in and get it. Sims pulls out a roll of paper and shows James the plan. It all looks so simple. A few hours of trouble for thousands of dollars? James can't say no.
Now that night, about midnight, Sims and James bring a ladder to the store at the corner of Charles and Beacon. Sims props the ladder up to the second-story window, and James scurries up the ladder and slips in through the window. Sims takes down the ladder so they don't arouse any suspicion, and he keeps watch outside while James creeps through the house looking for a desk with all those banknotes. James finally discovers the desk he's looking for, but when he opens the drawer...
He finds some silver and copper coins. All told, about $60. James tosses the purse to Sims, climbs down the ladder, and the two split the prize and walk away with $30 each.
Not the haul they expected, but still, not bad for one evening. This was the first time in my life that I was ever concerned in breaking into a building or was guilty of stealing property. A week later, James finds himself in Charleston, in the cellar of the Jones & Sawyer Company. James watches an employee take some money from a pocketbook containing a large amount of banknotes. Considering he's already crossed the line, he figures stealing seems like a much easier way to make money compared to work.
So that night, he breaks into the Jones and Sawyer Company.
He tiptoes down to the cellar, but he finds no pocketbook, no banknotes, nothing. The next day, James tells Sims about his failed burglary. And Sims explains how the Jones & Sawyer company was not a good target for the budding young thief. You see, businesses like these don't leave their money unattended overnight. They usually bring it home for safekeeping. Still, James is committed to his new career. The money comes easy. Then he doesn't have to work for another week or another month, depending on how large the score is.
In October of 1824, James returns to Charleston and slips aboard a fishing vessel. He grabs some yards of fabric, but the heist doesn't go as planned. He's spotted, so he runs for it, but he's caught and then arrested. This was the first time I was ever held in confinement. I was about 15 years of age, and the idea of being in prison operated very painfully upon my feelings.
"'I verily believe that if I had been discharged "'after the first week of confinement, "'I should have been honest and study ever after. "'In a short time, however, jail scenes "'in the society of the depraved and vicious became familiar, "'and I lost, in a good degree, the tender feelings "'which influenced me on being first committed.'
In short, James is bonding with other criminals. He plans escape attempts that mostly fail. He makes contacts. When he's released after his six-month sentence in April of 1825, he's completely broke. And with no family to help him and no prospects for a job, he heads back into Boston to look for his old buddy Sims. And just like that, James and Sims are back at work.
James is starting to use aliases as he checks into new boarding houses. George Walton is his main go-to. But there's others. While he does purchase some pistols to defend himself, and it's already well established he's a thief, he still has lines he's not willing to cross. One must always live by a code. James explains. I do not think that anyone but a coward would take human life, except in self-defense.
In that case, I think it justifiable, and even if I was robbing a man and found it necessary to kill him in order to save my own life, I should not think it wrong.
it wouldn't be merely acting in self-defense. Of course, if you never tried to rob a person, you wouldn't need to act in self-defense, but I guess that's besides the point. Right. The next caper, James breaks into the British consul's office in Boston, but only finds a little money on hand. Still, he's always looking for the next score. And that leads James up to Keene, New Hampshire. This time, he's got a new partner with him, a partner whose name he refuses to give to the warden who's furiously taking notes at his bedside.
The target is the Keene Bank. This is bound to be a big prize. But when they arrive at the building and successfully break in, they find they lack the tools to cut through the iron bars to get to the main vault. Still, they're able to liberate several hundred dollars from the bank drawers before they make the dash.
The two are miles south of Keene, en route to Boston. There's some commotion back in town, but it seems to be behind them now. Suddenly, some riders approach. They seem innocent enough, but once they get close, it's too late. James and his partner are arrested for robbing the bank. James is sentenced to 10 years of hard labor for the crime. Prison doesn't suit James Allen at all. All he can think about is escape, at any cost.
At one point, he makes a run in the prison yard. He's scaling up the wall in an attempt to jump over to the other side. A prison guard yells out that he has to stop or he'll fire. James tells him to go right ahead. James is startled by the gunfire, but he misses. He continues to climb. But the second shot nicks his hip with buckshot, dropping James back down to the ground. You'd think getting shot would have taught him a lesson, but it doesn't.
James is shackled to a rock and chain, but he soon uses his stone-cutting tools to break the chain. I mean, there's nowhere to run inside of a prison, but still he tries. The warden tries to plea with him to stop these escape attempts, but James explains he can't stop trying. Well, you know, at least he's honest.
After six years in jail, James is sent free. The prison gives him a suit of clothes, $3 in cash, and his freedom. It ain't much. I obtained a small accession to my funds and proceeded to Boston with the view and in the hope of obtaining honest employment. Six years was a long time for James. He's not built to be cooped up. Maybe it's worth trying out an honest life. He learned stone-cutting during his last prison stint, so he looks for work doing that. But...
People aren't hiring. Maybe they're not just hiring ex-convicts? James thought of that. Thus, another alias is needed, but it doesn't seem to matter. He tries to get work at the Navy Yard. He even tries to get work assisting a shoemaker. No one is hiring, and his money is running low. Distraught, James passes a watchmaker's shop. He's not intentionally casing the place. He just can't help it. After reaching out to a local contact who said yes, he'd consider buying watches without a lot of questions asked...
James sneaks out that night. He cuts a hole in the wall, swipes three watches, and sells them to his contact for $50. And just like that, he's back in business. James uses the money to rent a room in a boarding house, buy some new clothes, and some pistols. It's at the boarding house he meets another man who's eager to make a quick buck. And that's when James turns from a burglar and a thief...
into a highwayman.
He exclaimed, well, don't fire, don't fire, and handed me his pocketbook, which on examining contained four $5 bank bills, one of which proved to be a counterfeit on the Boston Bank. While robbing another wagon, James is caught again and serves another year in the state prison.
During his discharge in 1832, the kindly warden looks James in the eye and asks him to live an honest life going forward. James tells the warden he's going to try to be honest, but it's unlikely. Which, if you think about it, kind of makes him honest. That's true. That's true. And just two days later, James is back to robbing people along the roads in and out of Boston. But things would take a dark turn when he tries to rob the wrong man the wrong time.
With a carriage approaching, James jumps out and grabs the reins. He offers the driver, a Mr. John Fenno, his usual greeting of, your money or your life. But Fenno doesn't care to part with his money, so he leaps at James. James is shocked. No one has ever done this before. There's a scuffle, a struggle. James lifts his pistol, and John Fenno stumbles backward and falls to the ground. James runs for his horse and makes a break for it.
Fortunately, or unfortunately for James, John Fenno lives. In fact, the bullet barely grazed him. And now there's a $100 reward for any information leading to the arrest of the highwayman who's been plaguing Boston. All of the area criminals know it's James Allen. George Walt. James York. Right. And $100 for pointing your finger toward the right boarding house? Shoot, there's no money easier than that. And James Allen knows that, too. There's honor among thieves until there's a bounty on the table.
James races to the harbor and books himself passage on a ship bound for the West Indies. He pays a $25 deposit to the captain, then rushes back to his boarding house to gather his belongings.
But the police are waiting for him. On the 21st of February, 1834, I was convicted and sentenced to confinement and hard labor in the state prison for 20 years. I was now in the state prison again after the short period of 73 days from the time of my first discharge therefrom. Distraught, he tries to hang himself in a cell using his suspenders, but they break, sending him crashing to the floor,
He tries to escape again and is finally successful in September of 1834.
On the lam, he makes his way up to Burlington, Vermont, where he robs a store. Then on to St. Albans, Vermont, where he robs another store. And then eventually, all the way to Montreal in Canada, where he rents himself a decent hotel room and spends a few weeks living like a tourist. But he can't idle very long. Pretty soon, he's back to his old ways. Finding, however, that a life of inactivity was not well suited to my restless and uneasy disposition, and finding, too, that my funds were getting low...
I commenced active operations and broke into a store owned by the Inland Forwarding Company and obtained $90 in silver.
Now he's robbing with reckless abandon. It seems as much out of boredom as need. When the heat gets too hot in Montreal, James heads back to Boston. But as soon as he returns, an old prison mate recognizes him and turns him in for the reward. It's the summer of 1837, and now James Allen lays dying from consumption and sharing his story with the warden of the Massachusetts State Prison. If I were permitted to live my life over again, I would be an honest man.
If only it might make for a happier life in this world. James dies from consumption July 17, 1837 at the age of 28. And that brings us back to today. Okay, so the story didn't end with James' death. The short memoir was published by Harrington and Company of Boston in 1837. James Allen was a criminal celebrity at the time, so folks were eager to read his whole story. James knew this book would get published, but he made a special request just before his death.
He asked that one copy of the book get bound in leather made from the skin of his back. Oh, that's disgusting. He wanted this special copy of the book to be presented to John Fenno as a gift because it was Fenno that ultimately led to James Allen's undoing. On the day of his death, James Allen was brought to Massachusetts General Hospital where a large graft of skin was removed from his back and treated to look like gray deer skin.
The book was given to Fennel, who passed it along to his daughter, who eventually donated it to the Boston Athenaeum, which is where it sits today. Here's the bummer. The Boston Athenaeum doesn't like to talk about this book anymore. We called, and we were told this isn't something they wanted to be interviewed about. So, unfortunately, we can't get into the rare book collection and hold it. Oh, that is a bummer. But we can do the next best thing. We can still see the book, cover and all, as a PDF on their website.
Check this out. There's the whole book, although pages six and seven are missing from the PDF. I let the FNAM know, so maybe it'll get those pages added in the future. But check out the cover. Oh, wow. It does look like pale leather. Yeah, right? Deer skin. Yeah. And there's an embossed title plate in golden black on the otherwise blank cover. It reads, This book is bound in the skin of Walton.
As in George Walton, the highwayman, also known as James Allen and, of course, several other aliases. Now, why doesn't Boston Athenaeum want to talk about this book? Well, I guess it poses some ethical dilemmas. Like, should this book be buried in the ground? Because it's sort of human remains. I mean, at this point, the Boston Athenaeum would rather be known for the other items in their collection, but still, the
the macabre calls out to some of us and forces us to ask some questions. Well, plus in a weird way, by having this book made of his own skin, James Allen kind of made himself immortal. What do you mean? Well, he was a thief, a burglar, a highwayman. He never killed anyone, at least according to his memoir. He was just a common criminal who went to jail a bunch of times and died young way back in 1837. If not for this book, bound in his skin as a curiosity for the ages...
There's no way history remembers this guy otherwise. No, that's definitely true. And this isn't the first or last book bound in human skin. It's odd, but it happens. In the newspaper archives, I found an article that catalogs some other skin-bound books. So the Cleveland Public Library has a Koran bound in the skin of its former owner.
The College of Physicians of Philadelphia has four bound books by Dr. John Stockton Ho. He diagnosed the city's first case of trichinosis and used his patient's skin to bind three volumes. Now, what's unclear is whether these patients consented to this or not. Well, that's a potential problem. It is, but James Allen did consent. His wishes were carried out, and now there's an old book bound in human skin haunting the Boston Athenaeum. ♪
Well, Jeff, I guess sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. In this case, you sure can. Hey, if you'd like to read James Allen's memoir online, we posted a link to the Boston FNAM on our website. Just click on episode 193. We'd also like to invite you, yes, you, to join our community of Patreon patrons. Just for three bucks a month, you'll get early access to new episodes, plus bonus episodes and content that no one else gets to hear.
Just head over to patreon.com slash newenglandlegends to sign up and help our community continue to grow. And if you're into reading memoirs, please be sure to pick up my new book, The Call of Kilimanjaro, Finding Hope Above the Clouds. It's available wherever books are sold. We'd like to thank Jim Harreld from the Paranormal Podcast and Jim Harreld's Campfire Podcast for lending his voice acting talents this week. We'd like to thank our sponsor, Nuwadi Herbals. And of course, our theme music is by Jon Judd. Until next time, remember, the bizarre is closer than you think.
We'll break it down right after a word from our sponsor.
Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway. Spring is in full swing, so take some time for self-care this spring. Now through April 22nd, buy two self-care items and save $2. Shop in-store or online for self-care essentials like Tom's Toothpaste, Soft Soap Liquid Hand Soap, Colgate Optic White Toothpaste, and Colgate Total Toothpaste and save $2 when you buy two participating items. Offer ends April 22nd. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit Safeway.com for more details.
Reminds me of the Evil Dead book. Yeah, of course. Yeah. The Book of the Dead. The Book of the Dead. The Necronomicon. Yes, which was creepy enough as fiction. Right. You know, and now this happens in real life. And it was the skin on his back, which was weird. That just seems like a bad spot to be while the guy was gone. Gives you a lot to work with, though.
I guess it does. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Did you ever cover a book in elementary school with a paper bag? Oh, no. I used human skin. And I always went for the back because it had a nice big sheet. You're right. You need a big paper bag to do that. Oh, you used a paper bag. Yeah. Well, yeah. Amateur. So, yeah, I can imagine that the back is better, especially if you're a bigger person. File this under discussions I didn't think we'd have. Yeah.
It's such a weird request. Yeah. I guess you live forever. You live on. So, okay. That's exactly... I wrote this down. I wrote a note down. A theme that seems to come up a lot for us, and it occurred to me today, listening to this again...
Right. Right.
And it just instantly makes it more valuable. I guarantee. The most sought after piece of literature. Without this guy doing this, right? Without him doing it, without Walton doing this, no way is his name ever mentioned again. Oh, absolutely. I mean, a few years later, drift away, gone. Yeah. Period. He was a bit notorious at the time. Yeah. But it would have been somebody else that came along and robbed somebody. Yeah. Gone. Like his name would be gone. And yet here we are still talking about him. It was 1837. Yeah.
is when he did that. People were weird back then. We're closing in on 200 years and we're still talking about him. And it was interesting. I remember too, we mentioned it in the podcast. I remember calling the Athenaeum and saying, hey, would you do like an interview or something about it? And they were like,
We have so much other stuff here. Would you talk about that? And I was like, no, that's not really, it's not as up our alley. We have a nice book about butterflies. It's the biggest one in the world. Sounds great. That's awesome for the butterfly podcast. I'm going to call them and be like, hey, we've got a perfect thing for you. But I was like, no, this is more up our alley. And she's like, well, you know, can't stop you. So, yeah. Why have it if you're not going to celebrate it?
Or why... Yeah. I've always looked at some of these curiosities as a way to get people in. Well, absolutely. And you can say, well, it's crass or whatever, but who cares? Yeah.
well, look at freak shows in the circus. Yeah. A way to get people to the circus was to promise them a bearded lady or a wolf boy. Yeah. You can come see something weird and then you go and you're there anyway and you're going to buy some food and you're going to buy tickets to whatever else they got. Yeah. No, that's that we've been drawn. We're drawn in by the macabre, the unusual, you know, that's, that's always been the way. Yeah. Uh,
We were talking about this, I think, last week, where we talked about, like, the notions of the devil and how the church had commissioned these elaborate paintings of these horrific hellscapes because they realized people would come to church just to see them. Like, look at how scary that is. Well, sit down. And they turn people to religion. Yeah. Like, I don't want to go there. Yeah, that's your destiny. I'm going to start praying. Yeah, here's the collection plate. Yeah. And so, no, we are infatuated with this stuff. Yeah.
I mean, if that's what gets people in the door, well, tell them what else you do. Like, hey, here's the book you're looking for. And by the way, we have the world's biggest book of butterflies. That's great. Now, is it a big book or is it just a book filled with lots of information? That's my question. Right. Do you need like your arms outstretched to turn pages? How big is the butterfly? Are they all squished between pages? Well, maybe it's that. Are we still talking about the butterfly or the book of the dead here? Yeah.
I'm confused. We have a link to it on our website. If you go to episode 193, there's a link. You can see the whole PDF and read the whole book, the memoir. You can see the cover and everything. I saw the cover. It looks very normal. Yeah. Not like the Book of the Dead and the Evil Dead. No. Because that was scary. Right. That looked like it was made of skin. This one...
Not so much. How do you preserve that, by the way? I mean, there's a tanning process for turning any skin into leather, right? Oh, yeah. Just as a leather face from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Obviously. He probably made the book. They called him in Texas. We're going to get an expert from Texas up here. All I can think of is there's people that work with leather, right? There's leather workers, right, who still to this day, they work with leather. Craftsmen, if you will. They do all kinds of things with it.
I've seen them. Tannery, right? Tannery. Tanners. I've seen them at craft shows where they'll put embossed leather or whatever. Yeah. So imagine you're like a Boston leather person, you know, and you get a phone call. Actually, you didn't get a phone call on 837. You get a knock. Yeah. Right? Hey. Yeah, Ray. What's up? I got some leather work for you. Yeah, cool. Whatever you need. What do you need? I want to do a book bound in leather. Oh, cool. I don't do a lot of those, but sure. I got this. What's the leather? What do you got? Yeah.
It's in the trunk of the carriage. Yeah. Okay. All right. No problem. Come on. Deer? Cow? Like, what's the... Oh, my. Yeah. That's a dude. All right. Yeah. I'll take the job. And, you know, you said there's more skin on the back. That makes sense. Sure. But did that make sense to them at the time, or did they try the leg first? Like, there's just not enough on the leg. If he wrote a shorter book...
Right? Smaller. Good night, moon. I could have used the thigh, but no, he's got this memoir. Yeah. No, this is really... And the other part of it, too, the other part of the story that we did cover quite a bit is how...
His life of crime was sort of kicked off by a short prison sentence, right, where he realized, like, oh, no, I'm now leaving here and I can't do anything else. Right. Like he became sort of indoctrinated, which I get. Right. So on the one hand, if you're law enforcement, you can't not punish people. Right. You have to. You break the rules of our society. You need to be punished. And that may include taking your freedom away. Of course, we've got to do that.
But I can see how that would turn some people. They get thrown into rooms with people much worse than them, and suddenly this is all they know by the time they get out. And now they're destined for a life of crime, whereas before they had something else, like a work program or work on a prison farm or something like that, and then be like, all right, you're cool? Get it together now? All right, I got it together. And it just begs the question, how do you penalize someone in your society that
And still give them a chance to come back and contribute to that society. Right, because employers frown upon hiring convicts, ex-cons. So you're pretty much dead in the water. But they get out there. Some make it work. Right. Some, like you said, keep with their life of crime. Keep doing that. Shawshank Redemption.
Right. You've been institutionalized. It's all you know. And it's true that the movie touched on that theme quite a bit. But but it's true in real life where some people are in prison for years and years and years. They get out and they're literally panicked. They commit a crime. Oh, yeah. Just the old guy. Just to get back in. Well, the old guy hung himself. Right. Because he didn't want to be out there. Right. But just to get back into prison. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, I need to be in there. I don't I'm too scared out here. I don't know what to do. No one tells me what to do all day long. This is this is panicking. Yeah. Right. So I'm just going to I'm going to rob a bank.
And wait for the police outside and be like, thank you so much. Just get me back to my old cell if you could. And that's sad. What a tragic thing. But it's all some people know. Yep. Wow. We really brought you down. But if that's you, write your memoirs. Talk about skin. Write your memoirs. And then bind it in your skin. And we'll be talking about you in 200 years. That's more uplifting. Yeah. Nice job. You'll be living forever.