Ep 277: Mo Gilligan
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Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the eggs of conversation, the tin of tomatoes of the internet, the chilli pepper of friendship, and baking them all together to make a very rudimentary shakshuka pod. It's good that you do the intros for these like that, because I don't know how to cook many things.

And I was just thinking then, Ed knows how to cook shakshuka. That's good. What I should probably say, and I've been doing this for a long time, is please don't take my intros as strict recipes.

Because I often have to leave out a lot of elements and things you have to do. Please don't try and make shakshuka with eggs, a tin of tomatoes, and that's it. And bake it. And bake it. Because you should, like, I think there's onion involved, there's definitely different spices. That is a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant. And every single week we invite in a guest and we've asked for their favourite ever starter, main course, dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is...

Mo Gilligan. Mo Gilligan, a wonderful comedian, of course, an absolute smash hit of a comedian. Yeah. Did huge things online, massive sold out tours and hugely successful TV shows. And now finally the pinnacle of his career.

He's in the off-menu Dream Restaurant. He's in the Dream Restaurant. Mo also has a podcast called Beginning, Middle and End. So definitely check that out. Available wherever you get your pods, of course. Also, you can go and see Mo on his tour, his extended tour, In The Moment. It's a world tour and it's going on.

all over the place, including Croydon, Coventry, Huddersfield, Leicester, Basinstoke, Ipswich, Hastings, Southampton, Portsmouth, Brighton, Plymouth, Cardiff, Bristol, Nottingham and Glasgow. Yeah, the guy's going everywhere. You've got to go and see the show. It'll be hilarious. In the moment.

In the moment that Mo says the secret ingredient, he will be kicked out of the goddamn restaurant. Yes, every single week we have a secret ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable. If the guest says it, they get kicked out of the dream restaurant. That's the way it is. And this week, the secret ingredient is... A couple of cans. A couple of cans. Fans of Mo Gilligan will know that that was the title of his first...

debut stand-up tour yes from viral videos he did yes this is surely I mean this is very broad I'll be surprised if Mo chooses a couple of cans usually when it's attached to a stand-up's material they don't really want to revisit it much in their day-to-day life but who knows no you know who knows but the problem is cans of what

We're not specifying. Obviously, when Mo did the skit, it was about lager, really. Yeah, but no. But if he says I want a couple of cans of peaches. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, you're out. Yeah, so this is a risky one. What if he picks one can? Fine. It's not a couple. Three cans? Well, then we have to have a debate. Then we have to talk to him about it. Because to me, a couple is two. Yeah.

But then that's within three. Two is within three. So we'll have to see what he thinks about that. Yeah. But it's not a couple if you're having three. I guess you have one can of whatever it is. Then you do have a couple left. So it is a couple eventually. At some point it's a couple. Yeah. But it depends how he's having them. If he wants to... If it was...

for the sake of argument, peaches. Yeah. And they all go into one thing. Yeah. Like a pie. Poured it exactly the same time. Yeah. I'm not going to get him on that. Yeah. All right. Well, let's couple of cans of diet Coke. Yeah. After the first two, I'm like, Oh yeah. Yeah. If it's free cancer diet Coke. Yeah. Confused already. Well, what wonderful energy to welcome Mo into the dream restaurant. This is the off menu menu of Mo Gilligan.

Welcome Moe to the Dream Restaurant. Yes, big ups, big ups, big ups. Welcome Moe Gilligan to the Dream Restaurant, but it's been you for some time. Yes, how are we keeping guys, you alright? Yeah, good thank you. Good thank you, yeah I'm keeping well. It's rare that people ask us how we're keeping at the top of the app. I say it a lot, it's my thing. But like Brits get it, but whenever I go to the States they don't get it. It's like, what do you mean, what am I keeping? I don't understand, I'm like...

I had to explain to someone. I was like, no, how are you keeping? How are you? Are you all right? I was like, yeah, I'm fine. What am I keeping? My dignity? I'm like, oh, fuck it. Secrets. It's like you're trying to find out people's secrets. Yeah, man. But it's nice to... Because we never really gigged together, really. No. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I know you lot, but I don't know. But we never gigged together. So it's nice to be here amongst...

amongst this whole podcast space and stuff. Do you see what I'm saying? So I think we've maybe done one gig together, but it was like the live at the comedy store. No, no, no. It wasn't a gig. It was a TV show and we were on different episodes. Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a long time ago and I don't think we've met TV had like unlimited money. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We're going to make a comedy show in the store. Why? Because we can. Because we can. We're going to get people on it who haven't done much TV before. Yeah, man. And, you know, I didn't have a good gig, but, you know, it was lovely to see you across the room. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Because I feel like the TV gigs, because they're not... It's like doing a...

Like, you know, if you do like, like, like the Apollo, like you are doing comedy, but you also realizing that it's more for TV. Yeah. So there isn't that kind of green room vibe or do you know what I mean? Like, how did you get on? Because you're like, well, like I'm in another part and do you know what I mean? It doesn't have the same, the same vibe to it. It's always weird being on stage doing those as well.

trying to have a good gig but in your head going but how's that going to look on TV sometimes it's quite good you change it up and do stuff that you go no this is this is funny I'm going to do it like this deliver it like this or add this little bit it'll be funny when they watch it at home or die in the room do you ever do TV gigs yeah and like they edit it and a part where you're like

yeah that laugh didn't get that much as much as it's saying on the television or you know it's a bit where like they fully cut it and you're like yeah they've really cut that bit I had it it doesn't go like that do you know what I mean yeah man I've done those gigs in my head going like well that's not got the laugh it normally gets but I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave a pause and then hopefully they know to maybe pop maybe pop

something else in there. Pop an applause in, why not? It's that story about Todd Barry, you know, the American comedian, Todd Barry came over and he did that live at the Comedy Store gig. And apparently,

similar thing went really bad they just weren't laughing so he said to them look end of the day they're going to edit in laugh this is going to look great so then he started after every joke to silence celebrating the joke and like put his hand in the air like telling me stop stop applauding and just doing that for ages after every single one yeah that's cold man that's cold

but you will have no such problems on your tour which has already started yes man and is continuing people can get along to it in the moment world tour as well yeah how's it been going are you looking forward to these dates you've got coming up yeah it's good man we started off in the states I guess you lot know what it's like when you gig like that's not like your home country it's always like are they going to get it like

or are people even going to come? That's always what I'm like. I'm like, are people going to come? So starting off in the States was good. It was a lot different than what I expected. I felt like in America, they lack the kind of obvious joke. Do you know what I mean? They lack the kind of obvious humour. And then when we took it to Australia recently,

that just felt like being in the UK, but they felt like they liked it even more. Like I was doing stuff where I was like, this don't get a big, a big laugh here. Do you know what I mean? You know, as comics, we know like, this is the bit where I can kind of, it's just a little filler or this is like my beginning bit as I start to warm up. But every bit was hitting and I was like,

oh man I just want to do comedy here as long as possible you know what I mean but yeah man it was good really enjoying it and you've got a podcast yes as well I'm in the podcast world man beginning middle and end yeah I started a podcast because people kept asking me about like my journey they're like what was your journey how did you start so I wanted to get people on and just ask them the same question so we have the beginning you know how did you start and sometimes it's like the origin story that sometimes we might know but there might be

one before that a little bit and then there's where they are now which is their middle and their middle is sometimes where they're currently at now they're present and in the end it's always like an open-ended question so you know someone asked me once on stage you know that when I would do like work in progress shows and stuff right I don't

I felt really weird how I would end a work in progress show because I was just, you know, you're trying like an hour's worth of new stuff. Some of it hits, some of it doesn't, but I would find it really weird getting off stage because I do, I want to do more, but I know, right,

Like it's kind of done. And I find it so weird. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's some weird complex. So I do these Q and A's. So I'm like, guys, you want to ask me something, go and ask me whatever question you wanted. Sometimes you get some nice little material out of it and stuff. And then someone said, I've got a question. I was like, what's your question?

this girl said, what do you want your legacy to be? And I said, that's a big question. I don't know, man. My Gandhi, who else? So, um, that's where that, that, the idea of the end came. So we asked people that end question. And it's nice because everyone we've had on the pod, they all go a bit like, I don't know, man. Like, especially like if you're in this field and you might have children and you're like, Oh, do you want your children to do it? And some people are like, definitely not my kids to do this. Or if they did, um,

letting them know it's going to be a lot harder. So, yeah, man, I'm trying to get my Stephen Bartlett on. I'm not going to lie, guys. Do you know what I mean? Minus the crying. Do you know what I mean? Pick up Stephen. He's a lovely guy. He's very good at football, actually. But yeah, it's not like one of those deep podcasts. He loves Huel, that guy. Oh, yeah. Huel's bad, though, you know? It's really nice, you know? It's actually really good, you know? They've got this caramel banana one. Oh, it's so good, man. But like, when I drink it, I feel like one of those people, you know, like those SAS soldiers and they eat like

I don't know, like rice in a packet. And you're like, this shouldn't fill me up because it comes in a packet. But that's what Hugh's like. I swear to you. Listen, Hugh, if you're listening, I'll take five boxes, bro. Or you really want to be Stephen Bartlett. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll plug it, boy. I'll plug it. I'll be like, oh, you know, when I'm torn, I'm really stressed. I'll just grab a caramel banana keel.

yeah so it's sometimes it goes deep sometimes it's really funny we let it go wherever the conversation wants to go but it's nice because I sent a one to ask these questions whenever I was doing TV but you know what it's like with TV and we've got to kind of hurry along and stuff so it was nice to do this in like a podcast format and sit down and it's yeah man but it's quite fun different space for me man you know look

I don't think we really know much about your food habits, if you're much of a foodie. Oh, I'm a massive foodie, man. I love food, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To the point where, like, now I've lost a bit of weight, and everyone's like, bro, what's going on? You lost weight? I was like, bro, I was eating, bro. I was just eating all the time. But, yeah, I'm a big foodie, man. I like my food.

I would say for a palate, I pretty much eat anything you can buy like in an actual supermarket, a proper one. I probably eat it. Like any of those weird things, you know, people eat like crickets and stuff like that and like funky stuff. I'm out. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm out. But I do like to try a thing first. You know what I mean? Like I remember I was trying steak tartare once, but I do this thing where I pretend like I know what I'm eating. So the first time I had oysters,

I remember like sitting down and you know, like everyone's sitting and they're putting the stuff in and it's like, "Do you have oysters?" And I'm like, "Yeah." Do I get a spoon and scoop this out? What? And then like, I kind of watch what people do, but I pretend like I know what I'm doing. But I do like oysters now. I do like oysters. Same with steak tartare. I didn't know what it was. I was a bit like, "What is this?" And then when I had it, I was like, "Yeah." But now I think I do that thing where after a while, when you start eating, you know, like

I just get turned off by the look of the food or the texture. So I just don't really like steak tartare because when I see it, it looks like sick. Do you know what I mean? It looks like glamorised sick. Glamorised sick. Yeah, because sometimes I see it and it looks really nice, but...

And also I think of my stomach now. Yeah. I've got one of them stomachs that tell me like, bro, we don't eat this. Yeah. And then my stomach will let me know. Cause by two hours I'll be on the toilet. Just beatboxing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've got one of those stomachs, man. So yeah, but I am a foodie. I'm a massive foodie, man. I was saying earlier that I feel I've got one of those stomachs. I've got to start listening to it. Cause I don't, yeah, I don't listen to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You like beatboxing though, right? So you like this, you like the sound when it goes wrong. Yeah.

James records it, puts it on an album. Got acoustics in my bathroom. But it lets you know everything's out. That's what I like about it. It lets you know it's all out. Do you see what I'm saying? It sounds like raw, but it lets you know like...

That all came out in one go. One blast, there's no fucking around. Unless you get another contraction and then you're like, oh, we got one more to go. Then it lets you know that your stomach is actually clean. Bodies are amazing things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you know your body? Like, you know, like you guys have had this. You've definitely eaten. So I had something recently, beginning of the year. And I was, I think I woke up out of my sleep.

And I was like, oh my God, I feel good. And I knew I was like, we're going to be on the toilet for an hour because me and my body know each other. You woke me up sweating out of my sleep. Oh man, I was beatboxing on that toilet, bro. Yeah.

Yeah, horrible stuff. Also, I find that you can even pinpoint what the thing... Even if you've eaten a whole bunch of stuff, and then later on, you go, it was that. Instinctively. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. I believe that too. If you looked at all of the foods you'd eaten in 24 hours in a line-up, like a police line-up, you just know. You can pick out the one that it was straight away. And sometimes the food can look a little bit off, or have a little bit of an off taste. So you're like...

It was probably the Parma ham that says like, it's the juba. You know, like when it says that it goes off in three months. Yeah. But you're like, I shouldn't have really added that. I shouldn't really follow that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like deodorant. I know it lasts 24 hours, but I still need to like wash it off and put the next one off. Do you know what I mean? It's a lie. That 24 hour deodorant is a lie.

Some of them, 48 hour protection. It's like, that's too long. Why are you, you must really be, it's only 24 hours in. If it's got to last 40 hours. And a shower in between. Yeah. They're just walking around and it's still doing its job. That's incredible. There's someone out there that definitely gets their money's worth though. There's someone out there that puts it on and they're like, oh, well,

46 Barbara I'm getting 46 for 46 hours worth yeah no that's dirty and it hits 48 they go yeah I stink now yeah also we skimmed over it but

definitely ed putting all the food in the police lineup is like some weird fantasy you've had in the past what putting food in a police lineup and picking the one that gave me the shits and then kissing you love food so much there's definitely a thing where you would love to be in a situation where they bring loads of delicious food out put it in a food and a lineup and you're like that one officer yeah that's true actually would i be behind the glass though in the two-way

Yeah, yeah. Two-way mirror. Do you know what a food line-up sounds like? It sounds like, you know, you ever see those pictures where they tell you as a kid not to eat junk food and they've got all your junk foods on a line-up of not what to eat, like burgers, fries, and you've got the hot dog, but they've got glasses on and shit like that? Yeah, yeah. Like McDonald's mascots. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember this. They've all got glasses on.

What, the McDonald's mascots? So hang on, what are you talking about where all the food's got glasses on? No, I mean like, you know when they do lineups, they always give them glasses to make them look bad. You don't realise that? No. You know when they give like a hot dog, they make it look bad so they'll give it some glasses and like a moustache. Yeah, yeah. Like, you can't picture it. I can't remember that, no. It's like, soon as he's gone, he's a hot dog. LAUGHTER

Don't want to get in kids. Yeah, you get cellulite. He's got glasses. You don't want to get in. And they've all got glasses in the line-up and they're all coming out like, do you know what I mean? I know what most... Yeah, I know you do. I wanted to be in the gang. Yeah, I want to be in the gang then you end up in the line-up. Yeah.

We always start with still the sparkling water. You know what? I like sparkling water, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go with sparkling. I'm a big fan of sparkling water. Do you know what it is? Especially for the meal. It feels like it cleans my palate. Like I don't drink it any other time. Like I wouldn't go for a run and have some sparkling water. But,

it feels like when you sit down it feel fancy do you know what I mean like I can't lie there was an MC once who said like nah man why you gonna drink sparkling water bruv what like bubbles in your mouth and that bruv and I can't lie I felt a bit like I shouldn't drink this like I felt like I was letting down the black community but

Once I started going to nice restaurants, it felt like the nice drink to have before meals. It felt like it really refreshed my taste buds. Do you know what I mean? I want to go in more on this and see. I want to find out more about it. Someone listening to the pod will know because I was trying to think about this on the way. I don't know who said it, but it triggered me. I can't lie. Did they say it to you? No, no, no, no, not to me. They just said it in that before track. What do you mean, Beth? Pick up people that drink still water. If you're drinking sparkling, why you got bubbles in your mouth full? And I was like, oh, yeah.

I definitely don't have any bubbles in my mouth. So you felt sort of slightly exposed by that and that you were letting down the black community. Well, do you know what it is, right? Is that, like, I hear the way that people talk about sparkling water, right? Especially from the black community. Right. Because, no, bro, where would you drink that?

Like, just get a lemonade, my bro. Like, I don't understand why you would drink. It's got no flavours, bruv. Because like, we're big on flavours in the black community. Like, we have very high salt food, very like sweet food. So you're giving us a drink that's carbonated. That's not lemonade. There's no vibes. Like, people don't really drink tonic water in the black community. It's not the thing. Like, yeah, we'll have a gin and tonic.

But to drink tonic water like bareback is wild. That is... My friend said, yeah, what do you want? Tonic water. It's wild. If he said it before a meal, I'd be like, oh, he has a certain thing that he does. But...

Yeah. Once I started going to nice restaurants though, I can't lie. This only happened probably within the last six years that I was like, you know, when they come, would you like still all sparkling? I actually do get both just so I keep the waitress or waiter guessing. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Cause I love when they come over and they're like, who is it? I was like, the lady will have the still.

Yes, I know. You didn't think the black guy was going to have the sparkling water? Fill it up, Garcon. Yeah, so I do like sparkling water, man. I find it very refreshing. Even though it's no vibes lemonade is the way I'm going to describe sparkling water. Absolutely, it's no vibes lemonade. No vibes lemonade. That's a fair description. Also, you've got to have

get still and sparkling in case an MC walks past your table. Oh, yeah. So you can just grab the still water and go, I was having this, I'm not having bubbles in my mouth. Yeah, you don't want Stormzy walking past, what the fuck are you doing, bro? What? Ah, smash someone's head with the sparkling water. Not the vibe I get from Stormzy that he would go up to someone on the table and go, what the fuck are you doing? No, do you know what, yeah? I think Stormzy would be okay with the sparkling water. Do you know what's mad, yeah, is that

If I was in a fancy restaurant and there was a big time MC like Skepta or Stormzy, they would probably say this, you know? These are the kind of things that black people do. We embarrass you for no reason. They'd be like, what, Guan bro? What, you're making money? Yeah. Man's drinking sparkling water now. And you're like...

You just got to take it. Yeah, allow me, innit? I'm on a date, bro. If Stormzy came up to you and had a go at you, say, what are you doing making money? You'd be like, not as much as you, mate. Yeah, but it's a thing. When black people see you doing something that is not within the black community, we will let you know. If you get, like, everyone I got a dog, I got a cockapoo, right? This is not a dog that we get in the black community. See, you're already laughing, bro. Because you can picture me with a fluffy dog. So when my friends see me with a dog, they're like, rah, my man's got, rah.

bro you're doing alright making money innit it's not a rockwiler it's not an XL bully man's got a cockapoo you know bro it's like yeah it's my dog innit so it's the same with like sparkling water we're gonna find the thing that's like like let's say even if it was like a pair of like you know like footwear everyone's wearing like these on running shoes if I see one of my friends wearing these shoes I'm like alright man

Man's wearing the running shoes with the holes, yeah? We don't know the name, but we're going to embarrass you. This is like a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do this in the black community, man. Yeah. I don't know if you've been keeping up to date, Ed, with the Drake and Kendrick beats, but most of the raps are about, you've got to cock a poo. Yeah.

You drink your sparkling water. Your trainers are nice. It's pretty harsh. It's pretty vicious stuff. You got me up to date with that, actually. With the Drake and Kendrick beef. Yeah, well, you were weirdly behind it all. That's how removed I am from that, that James Acaster had to tell me all about the Drake and Kendrick beef, and he's not even online. You didn't know about the Drake and Kendrick beef? Not really. I was aware it was happening. I didn't know about the details. That begins and outs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I knew about the

the pedo lyric yeah yeah but we need to be on top you know this is a food podcast he needs to know about beef yeah that was smooth man come on man thank you that was smooth man

Put a great pint on my behalf. No, you had that one. That was smooth. I liked that one. I really liked that one. That was good. Pop-Dom's or bread? Pop-Dom's or bread, Mo? Pop-Dom's or bread? I'm saying bread. I'm saying bread. I do like a poppadom, but it's got to be bread. I do like some bread before it comes. I remember when I started going to these fancy meetings, and they have the bread on the table, and people would do this thing where they have the bread, and they will have the salt,

like the rock salt and they have like this balsamic vinegar. And I started seeing people just break off the bread and you know, they do that thing where they talk with the bread and it's like, it's like the bread becomes their personality. I don't even see this when they put it over the slice and go, yeah, you know, it's like, well, yeah, I'm really like looking at, yeah, you know, the dip in it, in the thing. And I was like, what the fuck is this? I've never seen this before. You just dip the bread, my guy, in, oh, the olive oil as well. When they bring the olive oil and when I started doing it,

Yeah, it felt good, man. Like I felt like I had made it in life. Did it become part of your personality? Yeah, it did. It did. Yeah, it did. I was just like, yeah, you know, we might go to asking it. I don't know. Yeah. So, um, yeah, I'm, I'm saying bread. Like I love, I like it when they have the salted butter as well. If you ever go to pizza express, they have this garlic butter. So you get these little dough balls and they give you the garlic bar. Sensational, man. Really, really good. But I'm saying, I'm saying bread.

It could be any bread. Yeah. I can't lie. I get a bit panicky when they're like, what piece do you want? Ah, fuck. I don't know what to do, bro. What piece? I'm like, fuck.

fuck man I don't know man I recently discovered like rye bread because I can't like I'm putting all bread in the same category I started eating rye and then I was like this is some seedy bread man there's a lot of this is so much seed because I didn't know where it was I just hear the words and then I'm like and then I started trying it and I'm like ah this is this is rye bread not a fan of rye bread so you know you're not picking if someone offers you a basket and they say which piece do you want you know you're not picking the rye bread

now at least you want that yeah yeah I'm not picking the right bread don't get me wrong if the right bread is there by default yeah I would just eat the right bread but when they're like which one I'm like I don't know bro I don't know which one you want me to go for um

I don't think they want you to go for a particular one. I think they genuinely... It's a test. No, but you know what it is, yeah? I don't know. Is it me? Do you not do this thing where like, I try to go sometimes for the bread that's not exposed, like the bread that's, the hidden bread. Do you not do that? Snow has touched that. Yeah, no one's breathed on it. The elements haven't really gone on that bread. And that bread might not thought it was going to get picked the way it did.

Do you know what I mean? They didn't say it coming. Because all the other breads are like, this is me, I'm up. And I'm like, move along, bro. We're going for you. It's like, fuck, I'm the chosen one. Yeah. So I like to get the bread. And it's also very sweet, by the way. Yeah. I always like to get the hidden bread. Like, even if I go to the bakery, you know that they've got like the pan of chocolates all out on display. I can't get the ones that's been exposed. I'm like, move along. I've got to get this one hidden because the elements hasn't touched it.

Are you like that with a cutlery drawer? No, not with a cutlery drawer. I'm like that with a cutlery drawer. Really? I won't get the top one.

Why not? People have been pouring at that. Yeah, that's true. They've been poking at it with their mitts. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'll get the spoon that's like halfway down the cutlery. You say people? Yeah. It's just you and your girlfriend in the house. No, sometimes I'm visiting friends' houses or whatever. Oh, in a friend's house is alright. No, if I'm at Ed's house, I don't want to like whatever cutlery. But why are you going in my cutlery drawer if you're in my house? I'd do that for you. No, you might be like, help yourself to a fork. I'll be like, yeah, from the fucking bottom, you piss. No, no.

You know you're coming to my house I'm not I'm not letting you go in my drawers You're a bad example But you know that bread in your house Yeah I don't eat the first loaf Right Because the first loaf We call that bread back You ever heard of that?

bread back no you don't like the heel the end of the loaf yeah so the first one never eat the first one unless you're like right there's no food yeah but like bread back and beans is like that's like when you've got no food and you're like that last bit of bread yeah that's been there from the jump and every time I see that bread I'm like you better move over bro we're getting those middle slices and then it keeps going and you're you're left with two bread backs like the the last bit and the first bit yeah yeah so like do you not feel sorry for the bread back though

Because you're saying with some of the other bread, you want the ones that don't think they're going to be paid. That bread is not really that, that bread knew what his job was. Do you know what I mean? When it knew it was getting sliced, it was like, it's the doorman of the bread. Do you know what I mean? In the bread world, it's the doorman. It's like, fuck that bread, man. You know what I mean? I'm here for the real, the real soft slices. Yeah, yeah. This tough slice. I don't want that one. No, no, no.

I met a kid who loves the bread back recently. Oh, that's weird, man. 10-year-old kid. 10-year-old. That's his favourite bit of the bread. No, what's his name? Ian. He's got one of those names, innit? Gary. Couldn't believe it. Yeah, that is amazing. It's his favourite bit. Ask for it. It's helpful to have someone like that in the house though, right? If you had a kid and they loved the bread back, it'd be fantastic. It's basically like living with a duck. I don't know.

If your child lacked bread back, if it was, you know if you had a child that I'd eat any bread, cool. But if it's like, no, no, I want that first slice.

I'll be like, listen, there's no work like that in this house. That's not how we do things. Yeah, I don't know, man. Do you know what it is? It's always like the first loaf as well that's going to get the mould as well. Do you know what I mean? So it feels like if the air is going to hit the bread, it's going for the bread back first. Do you know what I mean? And then the other slices are going to come, but not just yet. So it really is like the bouncer. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of the bread world, like bread back, you don't eat that first slur. Like if I went to someone's house and it was like, here have some toast. And I was like, right, you gave me the fucking back of the bread. You were right. That's nuts. That's crazy. If you give that to a guest without asking. No, I told my friends. I was like, yeah, I went to his house where he gave me the back of the bread. My friends would be shocked. Really? The back of the bread? Yeah, yeah. Don't go there no more.

Your dream starter, Mo. Okay, my starter is going to be sushi. Yeah, lovely. Listen, when I got into sushi, yeah, oh man, I felt like I'd made it in life because yes, you've got the sushi that you get from Tesco's, right? But that when you go to a restaurant, they bring it in ice, right? And

And then you start learning how to put it with the chopsticks, with the soy sauce. Then you start learning what sushi's are what. So like your, I have like yellow tails, one of my favorite. Then you've got fatty tuna. Then you've got the salmon. Oh man. Like when I went to Japan and I had sushi and I felt like I've completed life. So, and then I started knowing my, my difference from like sashimi and then the other one.

It's called, I always get it wrong. My government always corrects me. Nigiri. Nigiri. Nigiri. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, once I started completing sushi, I felt so fancy in these restaurants. I felt like I was like,

Yeah, I've come. I've arrived. Because before I was getting the rolls. Yeah. And the rolls for the entry level, California rolls. Yeah. It's not real sushi. Do you know what I mean? Like when I discovered it's not real, I went to this Japanese restaurant in LA and it was one of those like, you know, when you go like they say on the door, they said, listen, we don't do California rolls and do Mackey rolls. Like we don't do that stuff. Yeah. So I remember going there and they just had slices of fish.

So I was like, bro, like, bro, like where's the rules? This is just fish. Like,

I started understanding how sushi works now. And with this restaurant, it's like, you can't reserve it online. You have to like phone up in advance. And I remember just tasting the fish. Cause at first I'm just like, this is just fish you're eating. Um, there's a lot of new experiences. I'm having the edamame. I didn't even know what it was. I can't lie. At first I started eating the whole thing. I was like, I was like, this ain't nice. And then realizing you got, you got to pop the seeds out. And then I was having these little slices of fish and,

And then I was like, okay, this is, I think I've gone to a real sushi place. And then since then, every time I go out now, if I go to like a nice restaurant, like I go to Rock Art, that's one of my favorites. Yeah. I open the book. I'm like, yeah, what's the, what's the chef selection of the six? And they're like, it's up to the chef. I'm like, surprise me. Yeah. So sushi is definitely,

one of my stars. It's always the one thing I like. I feel like I'm eating clean as well. I feel like I'm learning about food as well. Especially when you get like the nigiri, they put it on these little bits of rice. Oh man, when you get to hold that with the chopsticks, you dip it in the soy sauce and you have a conversation as well. You know, there's a time when I was single so I was eating it and I was just like, oh, okay, fantastic. What is it? I'm not,

So you're almost doing the same thing with the sushi as you are with the bread. Yeah, with the bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like on unlimited, you know, like the levels I've unlocked for eating are just like, I've got the soup, you've got the chopsticks. Cause there's nothing worse than like, you know, if you can't hold the sushi with the chopsticks, you can't have a knife and fork.

Do you know what I mean? There's no way you can do that. But you can't be doing that with a slice of fish. But like dipping it in, yeah, yeah. That's like my go-to starter. Whenever I go to a restaurant and some of them, they bring it in like ice and stuff. And I've got to have it in Japan. So I felt like I've got it

but I can't lie when I had in Japan I went to this really weird it was like a restaurant it was like a bar and it was in have you ever been to Japan yeah I'm going for the first time next month oh you're gonna love it man yeah you're gonna love it so like you know like in Japan everything closes like

10, 11. It's not like a late night place to eat food. So I was like, I really want some sushi. So we found this one place and it seemed like, how can I explain? It's almost like it's a restaurant at the top of almost like a tower of a building. So it's a bit like, how can I explain? Like imagine going Canary Wolf and the restaurant's right at the top.

but you know like day to day there's like work and business going on yeah so when you walk in you're like i don't think i'm walking into a restaurant so a separate lift to go up and we walked in and there was this guy who's who walked that drunk like staggering and um the staff were like everyone's in suits and say hello sir how you doing okay and i was like oh cool i was like this is really formal considering we was just wearing like jeans and i had like a puffer jacket on we were in there and it's like had these round kind of like sofas and we were sitting on the bar

who's always gonna get some sushi and as all we have a selection so you want to go from selection because they're like you have to eat in this particular order to get the best flavors so i didn't prepare for this but it was like cool you know this is the sushi is but the vibe in there it felt like a murder mystery and we were the guests it was so weird like it felt like the guy who walked that drunk was the guy who ends up being murdered and the police were going to walk in and

I was like, hey, what's going on here, everyone? Because you had the weird couple. You had the band playing and the band were these two American guys. It was nice in there and they had sake. And I'm not really big on sake and if I do like it, I like it really, really sweet. So I kept saying to the guys, I like it really sweet. So he comes back with this jar, looks like a potion jar. He pours it. He's like, taste this one. I'm like...

He goes, sweet. I go, nah, not sweet enough. He comes back with another one. This bigger one. He pulls it out and he goes, sweet. And I'm like, it's nice, but not as sweet as I really like it. Like, I like it sweet to the point where it tastes like plum wine. You know that kind of sweetness. He comes back again. He's like, this is the sweetest one. So he brings it back. And I was like,

And it weren't sweet, but he had brought back like three now. So I was like, oh yeah, this is the one. This is the one. But yeah, sushi is like, is one of my go-to, go-to starters. It's a great starter. Love sushi, man. Love sushi. When you get the sashimi with just the slices of fish,

Do you never eat the top slice of fish? Good question. The fish back? The fish back. Do you know what? I paid so much money for it most of the time. I can't really be that cheesy. There's only three slices or whatever. Yes, yeah. But I do, I'm one of those eaters where I have to work either left or left to right or right to left. I can't go for the middle one off the chop.

Interesting. I'm one of those people where I don't know if you guys do this, you eat a sandwich, I still go left, right, middle. Do you not do that too? I don't know. Maybe I do. I have to do that, man. I never go straight for the middle. Oh no, that's weird, man. That's crazy. It's toddler vibes. Very toddler vibes. Yeah, yeah. You can't have bar on the side of your face. Some people do do that though. They go straight for the middle. But that is the best bit, right? Because it's the most amount of filling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's cut sideways, yeah, the filling will be right there in the middle. So I was always an actor.

if I get a plate of food, I will always eat the bits I least want first. So then I've got the nicest bit left over for the end. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting better at just, you know, having a bit of everything. Yeah. Yeah. Same. But yeah, fast food, fast food. If I got like, like, I don't know, chicken and chips, um,

most of the time I'm going to eat the chips first and then I'm going to eat the chicken. Yeah. Is that because you're saving the chicken? Kind of, yeah. I'm kind of saving it. But only recently I've actually like, have a bit of chicken, have some chips. And even when I'm doing it, I feel like, oh, we're evolving here. We're like, we've moved on a level. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not one of those,

sauces all over the joint no no no no some sauces I don't mind all over the joint like burger sauce I don't mind a burger sauce all over it or like if I get like kebab meat and chips I like it all over do you know what I mean bit of burger sauce little bit of ketchup little bit of mayo all over the joint because then it feels like dirty fries yeah do you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah I had the worst dirty fries ever recently really from where I don't even want to name it and shame it okay it was a van yeah near a bar

and you'd get the food from the van and then go and sit in the bar. They had dirty fries. Just went for it. Horrible. It was mad. I was there. It was mad. See what you think about this? Bacon lard ones but they were cold. Ah, that's nasty. And then mainly I'd say half a jar of mayo and lettuce.

That's what they put on the fries. Have they called it dirty fries? They called it dirty fries. Yeah, that is mad because I had some as well because someone else bought some. It was crazy. Yeah. Horrible. Did you not go back and say to him, listen, man. No, because then I went and looked at the menu and in the small print, like, that's what it is under dirty fries. Dirty fries in big letters. Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll have them. I'm hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you go back and look at it and it says it does say lettuce, mayo and bacon. But lettuce.

Lettuce is the opposite of dirty. Yeah, yeah. That's clean. That would be clean fries. Yeah, like jalapenos, maybe cheese on there. Yeah, but lettuce ain't a dirty fry. You need them to be all melted and coagulated. Do you know what I mean? Lettuce is like the cleanest food. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

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Your dream main course. So my dream main course has got to be my mum's chicken and rice. We grew up eating this. So it's curry chicken with rice with a side of coleslaw. It's not, it's like you could blindfold me and give me 50 dishes and I would always spot my mum's one out of it because the taste is so, it's like trademarked by my mum. The way that she cooks it, she slow cooks the chicken and it'll be the meal where my mum will be like, yeah, this is what we're eating. And it's,

Growing up, my mum would make the curry chicken and we'd have that the next day on the Monday. So whatever you have on a Sunday, it's a lot like this in the black household. So if you have like a big, especially like, you know, if it's like rice and peas, for example, your mum cooks like curried mutton or I don't know, sometimes oxtail, for example. That means if your mum has spent the whole day cooking this, you're probably going to eat this on Monday, maybe Tuesday. She's cooked so much that she then puts it

in an ice cream container hub, a tub, and then she'll freeze it. And then you don't know when, but when there's not enough food, your mum's going to just reheat this. She's going to defrost it. So, yeah, there's a lot of people in the black community, probably say the Asian community, grew up thinking they had ice cream in the freezer. LAUGHTER

And it weren't. It was just like, whether it was stew that was frozen. Yeah. Because that disappointment is so specific. It's like, it's in our DNA. Do you know what I mean? Like,

even now in my own house I have actual ice cream in the tubs and I have to convince myself like bro like is there stew in this because I'm getting a bit of PTSD you know it's a bit like how like you know like the biscuit tin always had like you know like grandmas have a biscuit tin but it was never like biscuits in there yeah it was sewing stuff yeah it was sewing stuff and only recently I think I was shopping I was like I'm gonna buy these biscuits I can't remember what they taste like and they're really nice

nice you know that shit really nice that is soft buttery biscuits but what are you using the tin for now no it's still got the biscuits in there yeah yeah because I think those biscuits last forever yeah like I don't think there's a sell by date on them yeah you're not going to be beatboxing

Because of those biscuits. No, no, no, no, no, no. They was them biscuits I made from like 19, 1920s recipes of food. So like a lot of us grow up thinking we've got ice cream and it's always Wool's ice cream, you know, but that kind of blue tub. And then you think, oh, there might be ice cream and it's not. Clicky lead. Yeah. It's just you. I just have to check the bottom of the ice cream. I love ice cream so much. Yeah. My mum would like put stuff in ice cream tubs and freeze them.

so having a like thinking you got ice cream and then just quickly having a look at the end the bottom of the tub and being like well that's a carrot that's a carrot emerging through what i thought was chocolate ice cream but it's not it's not it's clearly a stew of some sort i thought oh we got we got a chocolate ice cream on our hands here can i just you know when you eat ice cream in the tub right you know if it's actual ice cream do you still eat the ice cream with that

with that frosting stuff on there what if it's been in there for a while and it's got like the freezer burn on it yeah yeah do you still eat that I'll do that I don't eat that man do you not because it feels like the mould version of frost do you know what I mean yeah yeah so I had to ask because I didn't know if it was just me because sometimes like if it's on a lollipop for example then I would kind of run it down I put it down the tap to get rid of that

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I don't, yeah, I don't, I'll eat that. It's not nice, but you can normally take the top layer off and then wait for it. Yeah. I don't know, man, because listen, my thing is, yeah, if that frost came off the ice, cause that's the frost that builds up on your freezer. Yeah. It doesn't go in there though. No, but it's the same frost that builds up on the freezer. Yeah. Okay. So would you put that, that ice in, in a drink and drink it? No, because it's different. Yeah.

Would you, Ed? But yeah, yeah, I would, yeah. It was a really hot day, yeah, definitely. I think as a kid, I thought it once, you know. Yeah, I think I thought it once as a kid. I was like, there's no ice. I was like, cling, cling. Until my mum was like, you're not actually meant to eat this. This is the worst frost to eat. It's like chemical ice. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, my mum's chicken and rice is... It gets frozen up. Yeah. Like the top drawer gets frozen and I can see the ice cream in there. Yeah, it freezes over, yeah. And I

And I want to get in it and I can't open it. Like sword in stone. Yeah. And then it's like, I'm properly like wrestling with it and crying. I want the ice cream so badly. And that's now, right? Yeah, it's now. Yeah, I've got that. I've got that. I've got a freezer and literally all that was in there was frozen like dog food. And I just left it for months and months. And I tried to open it. And now at this moment, present time, you can't open it. And I literally got a knife and...

And I was trying to chisel it off because I thought maybe I'll chisel it off, a big piece comes off, I can open it. I still can't open it. So I went to dramatic lengths of burning the knife on the cooker. So it got really red and I thought I'm just going to go, and it's all going to come. But instead it went...

I was like, okay. Yeah. They put the knife out pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. It didn't do nothing. It done absolutely nothing. I think both of those things are inadvisable for any listeners at home. Oh yeah, don't do that at home. Taking a knife to the freezer anyway is bad and I've done it before and I've taken a chunk out of my freezer because I was doing that. Yeah. And then heating up a knife until it's red. Yeah.

You've done that to her, man. No, I've not. You've not done that? I've not heated up a knife until it's red. As a kid, I thought that we all done that. Ed is mainly doing this warning now to stop himself from doing it when he gets home. He's not really speaking to the listener. I'm going to try it on the barbecue. Have you done it? Have you done it? You heated up a knife until it goes red? Not until it goes red, but I think I've definitely heated up a knife or some cutlery in order to try and, you know...

probably mainly just to scoop through the ice cream clicker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, heat up a knife, never a spoon. It's a bit mad heating up a spoon. Do you know what I mean? Because people are like, what, you're a heroin addict, you can't...

You can't be heating up a spoon in your head. A tractor walks past and sees you doing that. It's going to absolutely wrench you. I was making money. Right, we didn't want heroin yet. Okay. Let's talk about the chicken and rice dish. What makes it so special? Obviously, your mum makes it. You can tell it apart from anyone else's. What ingredients are we talking about? So it's like curry chicken. So you really have to cook down the chicken. So you'd get this thing called a dutchie pot.

can predominantly get them in, you know, like, for example, like growing up in Peckham, there's always a lot of like,

It's not like a, it's just a shop that sells everything. It's hard to explain. Do you know what I mean? But you need a dachi pot because then that way you can just slow cook food. Basically. You can't grab one of these nice pots in like a nice, I don't know, in Selfridges or something like that, but it's like a nice slow cooked pot. It's almost like a hot pot a little bit, but very, very big in the Caribbean community for cooking down food. And your mom would kind of like, she would, she would season the chicken and

and then she'd just cook it down basically so that means like the chicken almost falls off the bone a little bit then my mum would make this with basmati rice sometimes long grain predominantly basmati though with like a side of coleslaw but like that's like you just grow up having chicken and rice like

at least maybe three times a week as default. Because don't forget your mum's frozen it, but it's like the go-to. So your mum would even be like, she'll tell you, like, you know in the day you're going to have chicken and rice because your mum will say, listen, I'm going out. Can you take the chicken out the freezer for me? This is a big deal. If you don't take this chicken out the freezer, there's a big chance your family might not eat. Like your mum would come back

and it'll be like, oh shit, I never took the chicken out of the freezer. I love that you're saying like it's the biggest job in the world. Oh no, growing up in a household, yeah man. No, but it's hard to do. You're like, I've got to remember how to do this. Yeah, because like, you'll be like, you know, like you're just a child. So you just, I just want to play grand fifth daughter or whatever. Or, you know, sometimes you have to do chores and then you're just like,

take the chicken out of the freezer, man. Do you know what I mean? Did you ever forget? Oh yeah, yeah, many a time, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy. It's like the worst thing you could do is like leaving the frozen chicken in the freezer. But yeah, it's like curried chicken and it's like a dish that you'd get at other places.

people's houses. It goes a long way. It stretches, man. Because you've got to remember, like, it's in one pot. Like, the chicken is cooked down. It's, like, simmered almost. And then the rice, you know, the rice is easy to make. But again, I remember when I moved out, like, my mum came round and made some food. And I had a rice cooker. You know, I was just like, you know, like, it's just me living in this house. So I'm making rice really for me. I'm not making it for five people in the house.

Oh, my mum couldn't believe it, man. I was like, what do you mean you've got a rice cooker? I was like, mum, it's easier. It's easier. My mum was like, nah. Even to this day, my mum's like, I don't deal with rice cookers. So my mum cooks rice from scratch. Like, obviously, of course, you know, you've got to wash the rice, get the starch out and all that stuff. I was like, mum, the rice cooker is so easy. Because a rice cooker was like, you know, two cups of rice, two cups of water. I was like, mum, and it clicks. So when it's done, it just keeps it on warm. My mum was like, nah, nah, nah.

Doesn't trust it. Yeah, no, my mum does not trust it at all. Like when I mean at all, it's like, yeah, even now, like sometimes it will come over. I'm making rice and rice, coconut, that's right. I'll bring my...

I'll make a pot when I come and I'll bring it over. She turns up with like a bag full of ice cream tubs. Yeah. So like one time, like about a year ago, I was really ill. And then my mum came round and I was like, mum, don't come round. She's like, no, no, I'm going to make you some proper food. She came round with a bag of rice. Like, I mean, like you can get bags of rice. Not them little joints you get in like the supermarket. I'm talking, it's got a handle. It's got a handle. So she came over the handle. She got the Dutchie pot.

And then that's it. She just needs to get, get a chicken. So I always say like, when it comes to food, if I'm like traveling for a long time or I'm going to my mom's a bit, my mom's home cooking is like my favorite out of anywhere. Do you know what I mean? If I had a death row meal, it would probably be

my mum's chicken and rice because it's just like but yeah it is just that it's basmati rice as well quite a sad meal for your mum to cook I guess what chicken and rice no on death row oh shit yeah yeah yeah I'm not sure I'd ask my mum to cook my death row meal she's got enough on oh fucking

my boy's dying now I've got to fucking cook for him as well you take that fucking meat out of the freezer officer yeah man yeah yeah but that would be like you know when people ask you for a meal that would probably it but it's like curry chicken so it's really cooked down and then like with because it's cooked down it's almost in like a it's like a stew almost you know what I mean so you get like two pieces of chicken really cooked down put the stew on top with the rice

Bit of Coastal. Coastal just evens it out a little bit because it's not really spicy. Yeah. Like it's got a little kick to it, but it's not really spicy. But like growing up, one of my best friends lived across the roads, this kid called Adam. And you know, he's a proper little lad. Do you know what I mean? Sporting Minwall and stuff. And it was nice because that culturally, I have food,

Like from like, his mum would cook him like, you know, pizza and chips. Like just, that was the, that was the vibes. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, right, like we don't get to just eat pizza and chips. Do you know what I mean? So like going over his house, I was like, this is great. Eating chicken nuggets, chips, pizza. He had a fizzy drink. Fizzy drinks were still treats at my house. Yeah. So I was like, right, this is, this is, this is sensational. I just caught what you said. That's crazy. I'm listening to you. Yeah. I'm talking about,

So, yeah, like I go to his house and I get like the chicken nuggets and all that stuff. And he comes to my house and have like chicken and rice and he couldn't, he loved it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. But, but it was mad because seeing him re-enjoy my food, it was like, yeah, you're, you're getting real flavours. You're getting real chicken. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I don't think he actually ever had like chicken

on the bone do you know what I mean so like he'd love he'd say oh man oh this is absolutely fantastic what's this like this is oh my god I loved it and every time I see him now he always reminds me oh man I used to love going to your mum's bro eating all the rice and peas bro oh my god I thought I was in Jamaica he's um yeah so it was like nice like

culturally in a way that I was kind of getting some of his food. Like sometimes they would cook like, like, like British dishes, like toad in the hole and stuff like that. Do you know what I mean? He's like, yeah, I've been told on the whole and everyone was excited in his house. He's like, it's toad in the hole, my happy, it's toad in the hole. So I'm like, all right, I've never had this before. And then sometimes he, again, he'd come to my house, have other dishes like, you know, oxtail rice and peas and stuff. So yeah, like I was able to learn about some of the food he would eat, you know, like for example, like on a Sunday, my mom was cooking like,

Like let's say rice and peas and like rice and peas. My mom cooks the peas. She has to put the peas, like you got to soak the peas overnight. So you've got, and they're not even peas really. They're like, they're beans really. But we call them peas. Yeah. I don't know how someone will probably, someone will tell me, I don't know why, but they're not peas, they're beans. Yeah. Like kidney beans basically. Yeah.

But yeah, rice and peas, you got to soak the peas overnight. That's what every mum would do. And then you cook it with the rice. And then my mum would have the oxtail on the go as well. This is when my mum might have family coming around or just like, cool. But that's what our Sunday dinner would be. And then his Sunday dinner would be a roast dinner. My mum would cook a roast dinner. But like going to Adam's house, it was like they would eat at one o'clock, two o'clock afternoon. Crikey.

stuff. I couldn't believe it. I was like, yo, this is so early on Sunday. Like, why are you not eating so early? He's like, yeah, like we have a roast, like, you know what I mean? Potatoes and that, like, it's proper nice. Like, try some. And I'm like, that's great. You're making this guy sound like he was 60 when he was a kid. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Oh yeah, come over mate, yeah, why yeah. He's a cab driver. Yeah. He's your friend. Yeah.

yeah man so I learnt some of the food from his culture Yorkshire puddings and stuff like this growing up was there ever roast chicken at his house? yeah he had like roast chicken would you eat it?

Yeah, I'd eat a roast chicken. I like a bit of roast chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White people made it. Yeah, but you know what it is? We've covered it on this podcast. White people don't wash their chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been brought up on the pod. That's a bit wild you don't do that still. It's an issue. I can't lie. I remember once I was cooking, right? On lockdown. On lockdown.

and I made some dish and I was like you gotta wash your chicken oh my god people were having wars it's really contentious isn't it it is but it's like we do this man even I do it when I get because look you get the chicken it's come from the what the abattoir yeah that's where they probably butcher up all the animals it's the abattoir right

So they package it, they put it in the packaging. You eat at home. How do you know that that is as clean as, like, I just want to know just for my sake. And when we clean the chicken, you know, you get some lemon, you get some vinegar. So that way I'm like, I know it's clean. You get all the little giblets off. There's always a little bits floating around. You can't just get it from the packet and just put it straight in the oven. That's wild stuff, man. I pat it dry. You pat it dry? Yeah. I mean, most ones sound nicer. Yeah.

Do you use Cachot? What do you use, Cachot? One sheet? Bounty. Mo is absolutely laughing his head off at you. It's not. That's wild stuff, man. I pat it dry because I'll do dry brine it in the fridge. So I'll pat it dry. I'll cover it in salt, maybe some lemon zest. Put it in the fridge. There's no seasoning here, man. Salt and lemon zest, is that it?

I'm white. Salt is a seasoning. There must be some other seasonings though, man. Sometimes some smoked paprika. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys love paprika in the white community, man. You got me fucking up some paprika, man. You thought you were on solid ground. You got me. You thought you were on solid ground. Yeah, yeah, yeah, paprika.

Paprika, like you're the king of spice. You guys love some paprika, man. This is the dry brine mode. This isn't the seasoning yet. Okay. So then it goes in overnight or for a few hours in the fridge with nothing on it. Right. Yeah. Just so it's like open, open in the fridge. I like that you season the day before. Yeah. That's good. But that's all to get moisture into the chicken. Yeah, we do that in the back community. And then I'll pat off as well. Yeah. And then I'll do more seasoning, olive oil. Okay. Into the oven. But I ain't washing it. That tastes nice, though. That tastes good.

That fudge, that feels like it tastes nice. That's a juicy chicken. I'm thinking you're just seasoning that and putting it straight in the oven. Straight in, like, not... I mean, I have done that. The fact that you're letting the enzymes get into the meat, that's good. That's good. But, yeah, I have also put it straight in the oven before. That's wild. That's wild. I can't lie, though. Sometimes I bought those ready-made ones from the supermarket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought those ones. Can't wash them. No, but, like,

them ones got the they got the enzymes in them it's last minute do you know what I mean if I see like those tandoori ones they look so delicious man I'm not fucking around do you know what I mean Stormzy's not coming around right now you know what I mean there's no Skeptics to judge me yeah every time you're doing something fancy here's Skeptics footsteps oh no it's Dreamside Dish

Oh, yeah. So my dream side dish is probably ramen. Growing up, when we didn't have a lot of money, it's like you're making dummy noodles. You know, especially once you get a little bit older. When I was living with my mum, it's like...

There's nothing to eat. Cool. You can't go wrong with some indomie noodles. Do you know what I mean? Put them there. I have a way that I make mine though. So I'd put, I'd boil the kettle. I put them in a bowl. I put them in. You put your little seasonings, your little sachets and stuff that you put in them. I put some extras in there as well. All purpose seasoning, put some oregano in there. Salt, pepper, hot pepper sauce. And then I put a plate on top of the bowl, put it in the microwave.

for about 60 minutes. So yeah, like it's just like, you know, and sometimes you can like chop up some frankfurters in there, get some spring onions in there as well. There's a lot you can do to make it a nice meal and doesn't cost a lot of money. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes as well, you can fry it as well. If you don't want it to have it with like the kind of the soup, the soupy water, watery joint and stuff. But then when I went to Japan, oh man, like you have these booths. So when you go in there, you

you gotta go to the booth and you pick the one you want but like again it's in Japanese so I was proper tourist I've never felt more like a tourist in Japan because I had this thing I think it's on Google or something where like it translates the text for you oh I felt so embarrassed man like people the Japanese were looking at me like you don't know what he's getting I was doing that all the time I've just been there this year oh

Using Google Translate all the time, Google Lens, right? Yes, I think that's the one. And you hold it up. And sometimes it sort of makes sense. And then sometimes it's like, you'll be looking at a chicken dish and it'll say like the deep yearning of the bird. So I was doing all that and then realising, I remember like, I'm one of those people where like, I tried to always do the thing where I feel like I know what I'm doing. I'd always like to ask. I'm like, I kind of know what I'm doing. And then again, the guy then said to me, he's like, no, what you do, you order here,

and then we bring the food to you. I was like, okay, cool. And then, no, I think you got to give the little receipt. It's like a ticket machine. Yeah. You give the receipt to, to the chefs making it. It's like on a counter, right? I remember, you know, I'm sitting out, I've had like, you know, I've had like noodles before, but like, not like ramen, like in Japan. Do you know what I mean? And, um, oh,

man like I remember me I'm one of those people where my eyes is always bigger than my belly I always like whenever I go out with my friends they hate it because one I eat really slow and two I like to try a thing if I'm like oh that sounds nice teriyaki chicken bites I'm just gonna get them I'll get them for the table for the table yeah oh some wings I'll get those but I'll get them for the table and I won't I won't finish it but I just want to try it because my brain is telling me like bro I know you want to try it let's just try it I can't stand when I order something

doesn't live up to what I wanted. If I see someone with something that looks delicious, I'm like, I'm pissed. Like this dish might be all right, but still I'm like, I want, I wanted that. Do you know what I mean? So I tend to order a lot. So I think I remember ordering chicken wings. I think I've got guzons, like not guzons, like the, um, the, the kind of dumplings, what are they called again? Yeah. So I got those. And then I think I got some ramen and I got this bowl of rice that comes with like this pork

And they put this nice teriyaki sauce. My God, the amount of food that came.

Japanese people looking at me like, are you doing a competition? Because no one gets this much food. Do you know what I mean? But the ramen, oh, it was sensational, man. It was pretty much all I ate while I was on the trip. I ate it anytime we would go to like, you know, a ramen place. And what I liked about it, I like eating where, like I don't eat with my mouth open, but I do like, you know, like with the ramen, you can eat it.

And then like, I like to hear... The slurp. Yeah, I like to hear... That's wild. That's a wild word. I don't know why. Slurp. Slurp.

But like, you know, like, for example, if I'm eating peanuts, I would crunch them just so I can hear the satisfaction of the crunch. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. I've never heard it put like this. Like, I don't want to hear no one else do it. Yeah. But like, I want to hear it. If I'm by myself, I like to hear the crunch sometimes. Or like crisps or popcorn or something. How are you going to make sure you hear the crunch then? No, because I'll just leave my mouth open a tad.

So the sound comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't hear it when it's in your mouth. Can you not hear it in your own head? No, I can. It's really loud in my head. It feels like, I don't know what it is. It's very weird, I know, man. So, I remember just eating this ramen. I had all this stuff. But the ramen, oh, it was not, and everyone just seemed like they were enjoying their food. Do you know what I mean? But I think what I like most about it

About especially eating When I had the ramen Is everyone would eat their food And you get this Ah just get this little bowl of rice With like this teriyaki sauce I don't know why it's teriyaki But had like this bit of pork with it That was so nice man Ah it was so nice man Like And then everyone would eat their food Probably chill for about five minutes And then cut

And like normally I'm so used to like eating with my friends and then after we eat we chill and you can tell the waiter comes back "Oh guys anything else?" and we're like "No, cool we're just sitting here chilling" and they come back again "Hey guys, okay would you like any..." "No, we're just chilling here" So it was nice to like see a different culture where they literally eat and then they just go, do you know what I mean? And the food didn't feel too heavy on my stomach but

Oh man, ramen, like it's become my thing now. Do you know what I mean? If I travel now, I do try to find like a good ramen place now. It's good to have a food that you know that you want to eat in most places. And then you're like, where is the best version of this? And it's always quite consistent. Like, I don't feel like, you know, don't get me wrong. I felt like the best place I had it was in Japan. I think is when we went to Shinjuku and yeah,

This might have been Shinjuku I'm not too sure But there was Like when I went to Japan I didn't know a lot of the places I was going to You know it's always like Oh have you been there? And I'm like

I don't know. I think we went there. It just seemed like a strip of a lot of shops. Yeah. And someone said, Oh, that's where that place is. And there's this place. It might be in Shinjuku. And it's like literally an alleyway. You walk down it and to the left, to the right, there's just little stalls where you can just get food. Yeah. They had these things with like, I don't know if you went there, like food on a stick. Yeah. The wings and stuff. That's very big in Japan. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Like chicken wings and stuff like that. Um,

but we went there on just like oh there's food here but then realising it's like you know like there's vloggers that actually go there and they're like if 10 things to go in Japan it's like one of those places went to the ramen place there oh sensational man yeah but what was in what's in the ramen then that you like because obviously you can put loads of different things yeah so normally it's like there's the egg in there yeah I like the

I like the egg in there because it creates a little bit of the broth. Do you know what I mean? There's always some spring onions in there. Sometimes they put meat in there. So I think it's like pork. Mainly pork is in there. I got one recently and it was spicy. And my God, was it hot. And I had to firm it because I brought my friend and I've got this one friend who...

Like he's very particular with his food. He doesn't like chicken on the bone. He doesn't try anything experimental. He knows what he likes. So he just got rice, like a bit of chicken on there. And I was like, come on, man, get some ramen. He's like, no, no, no, no. I'm just going to get what I like. And I got this bowl of ramen. He said, how spicy do you want it? So I thought I'll just get level one. It was so hot.

And I was firming it, man. I'm like sweating. And he's like, you all right? I'm like, yeah, I'm fine, man. I'm fine. This is great. But predominantly, it's got like an egg in there. I think that's the main ingredient. And that's what I kind of like about it is that you don't need a lot. But I do like...

I'm like more noodles than the soup. Do you know what I mean? I'm not trying to, cause it's weird. Cause like sometimes you've got to back the soup in the bowl and you've got to sip it, but then I'm thirsty. So now I'm just like loaded up on the soup juice and I might have a beer as well. And I'm just loaded up. So full. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Ramen is like,

It's become one of my kind of go-to staples when I'm traveling now. So one ramen place we went in Tokyo, there's sort of pictures on the buttons sometimes and things outside. But I was trying to use the Google Lens and I ended up just picking what I thought looked like the nicest one, hit the button, and it was good.

then you have to hit another button for whether you want it spicy you tell them how spicy you want it how hard you want the noodles and all of this so they got all this information take it away i sent you a picture of this ramen didn't you yeah yeah it arrives i picked like the last one on the list because i thought that'll be delicious yeah it was but it had the pork it had the egg it had the spring onion had all the the traditional things on the ramen and it was massive also

Also had a huge bit of fried chicken. Yeah. A prawn tempura. Oh, yeah. And something else on there. Yeah, it was absolutely gigantic. Massive. And we'd also ordered fried chicken on the side because you go in there for like a light meal that's slightly filling. Yeah, and you think it's going to be little bites. And I came out and I was like, I've never been fuller in my whole life because I'm necking the soup as well. Yeah, yeah. Huge beer. He's loaded up on the soup. Yeah, I've gone super spicy as well. Yeah.

Have you ever been to the Coco Curry places, like the Japanese curry houses? There's one in London, actually, but they're all over Tokyo. And you order on the iPad and there's so many different ways you can have it. And there's like these 20 spice levels. Oh, wow. And you can put sausages in it. You can put cheese in it. All of this stuff. Add all this extra stuff.

and I was like never been there before and I was like I think I'm gonna go with 10 spice and my wife went please don't do that oh man please don't do that how are you with spicy food though I'm alright with spicy food but I was like I was thinking if it's out of 20 yeah then surely 10's gonna be great yeah yeah and then I was like fine I'll put it down to 7 if you're gonna be like that yeah and then I ordered it and then went on Reddit and everyone was going don't have anything more than a 3 if you've never had it before oh sweat yeah

And it arrived. And I hiccup when I eat spicy stuff. I had one mouthful, started sweating everywhere and started hiccuping. She's just taking pictures of me. How hot was it? Was you sweating hot? Yeah, it was big. It was big hot. And also it was so filling as well. So we were supposed to be going to do something else that afternoon. I went, I can't, I'm going to have to walk home. So I just had to walk back to the hotel. Japan's an active place. You go to one restaurant and you go to someone else and somewhere else. And it's not just like...

You know some city breaks where you're like, we're going to do this thing, go for dinner, and then go back later and then we'll go for another dinner. Japan, you do about seven activities in one day. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But not that day. I felt awful. I had to go and have a sleep. You'd done your seven for that day. It was the amount of spice you had.

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Oh.

Requires upfront payment, taxes and fees extra, terms and exclusions apply. Visit BruceMobile.com for full offer terms and sweeps details. Your dream drink, Mo? Oh, my dream drink. I'm changing my dream drink. I love a mojito. I started going to a house and they do a lychee mojito. Sensational, man. Surely sceptics destroying you for that. Oh, yeah. Listen, you know what I mean?

Skepta is not having that. A lychee mojito. It's so nice, man. It's so delicious. It is delicious, man. If there's anything worse than having bubbles in your mouth, it's having lychee. No, but lychee. I love lychee, man. I love it. I swear. And it's like...

Because it's like a seasonal fruit. Like, I remember when I got like a little bit older and I realised that fruits are seasonal. You just think that fruits are grown all year round. And we used to go to this place. There used to be this Chinese restaurant in, I think it was on the Strand. It was called Mayflower. So I used to do stand-up comedy. So do stand-up comedy. Please come to the tour. Promoting your tour. But when I first started, there was a show called The Sunday Show. And I used to host it.

And around the corner, we go to this place called Mayflower, this restaurant, and there'd be loads of us. We was all young. We was all like 20, 21. We'd all go downstairs. They do this egg fried rice. I love egg fried rice. Like I love egg fried rice. I get egg fried rice. They've done this honey pepper chicken, which I have never got anywhere else.

Like I go to other like Chinese restaurants. I'm like, you do honey pepper chicken. They're like, what? What's that? We've never done that. We do black pepper chicken, but we don't do honey pepper chicken. And then we get maybe like sweet and sour chicken, maybe sweet and sour pork. And then as a dessert, they would do a bowl of light cheese. Oh my God. Oh my God. Winner winner chicken dinner. Listen, man, I love light cheese so much, man. I think they're so nice. Like they're so, so nice, man. Um,

We've never had anyone speak so excitedly about lychee. Well, they're like the pistachio of the fruit world. Do you know what I mean? You've got to do a lot to get the fruits of your labour. Do you know what I mean? And it's worth it in the end. Yeah, but then sometimes you can open it and you've got that little crusty pistachio. That one where you're like, oh, no, I'm not eating that. But you still give it a try and it's just dust. Do you know what I mean? It's the same with lychee. You open it and you're like, oh, this one's a bit... The seed is a bit...

Oh, that's a bit bitter. No, no, no, no, no. But I do love lychees. And then I remember I went to a house once and this was when I wasn't even a member and I seen someone get a lychee mojito, but I was just new to mojitos at this time. Do you know what I mean? And I was like, a lychee mojito? I said, this is... Who...

who came up with this in the board meeting because they need a raise oh it was so good man and then I started going to other restaurants where they do other flavours of mojito like passion fruit mojito strawberry mojito but nothing compares to the lychee man oh it's so good I love it so much no I really do man it's my favourite drink you don't need to tell us again I mean we can tell you love lychees because I'm a big fan of like sweet drinks so when I love cocktails yeah

One of my favorite drinks is probably a passion fruit martini. I love that drink. Or the porn star martini, if you want to call it that. That's what they call it. I love that drink. But the glass is a bit dainty. I can't lie. You know, I remember when I was single, I started going on dates. And I'm like, oh yeah, you're drinking. Yeah. And I've got this little dainty glass. Do you know what I mean? I was like, this is very refreshing. And you're worried that's not putting across the right. Well, it would like, girls would say it gave them the ick. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? So you'd be like, forget it. One lychee mojito, please. Yeah. And bring it in a pint glass. Yeah. Yeah.

But my favourite drink I've changed is a drink called... Yeah, I've had a drink called Susprella. The only reason I know about that drink is because of The Simpsons. Why? Is it The Simpsons? Yeah, I think... It's come up on the podcast before. We got confused about it before. Grandpa Simpson has it like a saloon. Really? Yeah. Susprella, yeah. This drink, oh my God. You can buy it. You can buy it on like Wharf Road. You can always buy it in like...

You've got to go to the corner shop in like, you know, you've got to go to inner city, South London, man. Maybe North London, East London. But yeah, it's like those boss man shops we call where it's like, they've got like the, you know, that way they've got like, oh no, you can get in a supermarket. Yeah. But it's in the world, you know, world foods.

Yeah. But they gave every ethnicity this aisle. It was like, "You're Asian? Well, you only get that. You're African, you only get..." So it's in the world food bits. Yeah, but I think we promote it at the bus man shops. Let's just say you can get it from the bus man shops. The bus man shops normally have it. You know, if you go to Peckham, maybe Brixton, Halsden, Hackney, they definitely might have some sarsaparilla. So sarsaparilla, I don't know if this is right, but I think it is a type of plant. I'm not too sure. It might be a type of plant.

This drink, yeah, is like, you can have it warm. So it's probably, warm is like probably the equivalent of having like a warm, you know, like a warm Vinto. Yeah. Yeah. It's that on those levels. Do you know what I mean? It's them, a warm Vinto and a warm Sarsaparilla, like neck and neck. Do you know what I mean? That's the Messi and the Ronaldo of the warm dilute drink world. Do you know what I mean? Well, surely tease him with a shout.

Yeah, tea, but like, you know, like dilute drinks shouldn't be warm. Do you know what I mean? But for a dilute warm drink. Okay, yeah. Yeah, that's the messier right now though. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But cold. Oh, it's so nice cold, man. When you make it, it's best to make it in a jug. So with a jug, a lot of, maybe a bit of ice, but you don't want to water it down too much. And when you, when I mean, you want to put at least half the bottle in. So it's like a squash sort of, it's like a concentrate and then you top it up. And you put it in with water. Yeah.

Leave it in the fridge. Maybe put some lemon in there as well. Oh my God. Can you hear my stomach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, even my stomach was like, hey, I want some too. But as it is so nice, it's like a really refreshing drink. And especially if you have it with like a chicken and rice on a Sunday. Yeah, that is like, yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's one of my favourite drinks. So it's going to pair nicely with the stream meal because you're having the chicken and the rice. Yeah, but as a refreshing drink, for me it's up there, but we make it really sweet. Yeah. You know how Americans make Kool-Aid and they make it really sweet with loads of sugar? It's the same with sarsaparilla, but you don't really add sugar. You can if you want, but you mainly make it really sweet. So you put at least a quarter or half of the dilute juice in this jug. Yeah.

with water, with some ice. Oh man, sauce brother is, is, is one of the best drinks, man. Especially like if you've had like a hot, like you like hot food, right? Yeah. It's the nicest thing to like give it that refreshing taste. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I've never had it. I've got to try it. I think their factory is based, well, I remember I read the back of the bottle, I think it's based in Wharf Road. Yeah, but Sarsaparilla, top tier drink, man. Yeah, there's some drinks in the black community that we really live by. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Magnum is one. You had a Magnum? No. You didn't have Magnum? No. Oh, shit, I should have bought some. Oh, man. You've never had to drink Magnum, the tonic wine? No. Oh, shit. Um,

Let's see. That's probably too, it's too early. So there's a drink called Magnum. It's like a tonic wine, right? Now, people say with this tonic wine drink, yeah, is that it keeps you, keeps you hard, isn't it? Right. Yeah. Okay. I think that's a placebo, personally. It's too early for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I say it's too early. Do you know what I mean? You can't be, yeah. I've got to get home. But like, call me a prude, but I go home to have my bonus. Yeah.

But Magnum is like, it's weird because it's kind of got a lot more mainstream now. Do you know what I mean? It's not more mainstream than Magnum. Like, I've seen some kid on social media who was mixing his Magnum with like a McFlurry. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, you don't do that, man. You're wasting good alcohol there. Well, the McFlurry, you know, cools stuff down. You can have the Magnum and you can not get aroused. LAUGHTER

What, are you saying ice cream stops you getting... I think that kid's being clever, balancing it out. Or are you saying that you would eat the Magnum at Flurry, get a boner and then shove your dick in the ice cream to make it go down? No. No, I can't. I'm trying to work out what you're saying. Look, even though I am the kind of guy who would shove his dick in some ice cream, that's not what I'm saying. You're saying that the ice cream counteracts the effects of the Magnum. Dilute the effect of the Magnum, yeah.

Sorry, are you saying ice cream gives you a boner? That would be double whammy for you. Yeah, yeah, for me, that'd be off into space. Well, there's only one way to find out. Magnum! Yeah, Magnum is... It's weird because it's like... Obviously, it's alcohol, and it gives you a nice little wave, but it's like a sweet tonic wine. Do you know what I mean? So it gives you a nice bit of wave...

You know, you can drink like, if you're out, drink like one or two, maybe three sometimes. So it gives you a nice little wave. Ray and Nephew, you had Ray and Nephew? No. Pardon me? Ray and Nephew. No. You never had Ray and Nephew? The rum, the white rum. Are you pranking us now? No. I won't blame you if you were. I won't blame you if you realise you can make up names and see if we've had them. See if we eventually agree to. We go, yeah, we've had that. I've drank Big Straw Hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drink it all the time. Oh.

Red Nephew's like a white rum. No. It's so strong. I'm going to get you a little bowl. I'm going to send you a little bowl. Thank you, mate. Yeah. I think percentage-wise, I think it's like 60%. Some of those rums, man. Yeah, but it's a Jamaican rum. I can't.

Ray and Nephew. Ray and Nephew, sometimes... Actually, I saw... This is real. I saw a poster for it outside my gym. I was on the bicycle. This is where Mo goes, I made that up! I was on the bicycle, and I saw it, and they were promoting it, but also with a...

Have they got like a new cocktail out at the minute or a new thing out at the minute? There was like a cocktail that they were promoting. Was there a drink called Ting? There's a drink called Ting. No, no. It's like a grapefruit. I know Ting, but I don't think it's, it was their own rum cocktail that they were kind of advertising on the poster. I remember thinking, oh, I've heard of like companies being called something and sun.

but not a nephew, so that's why it's stuck in my head. I see. So this is true, real stuff. You've got to be careful with this drink, though, man. It's strong. When I mean, you have to have probably, you know, you'd have what's considered a shot. You'd probably have to have half a shot because it gets going quick, and it's a creeper. And I promise you, whenever people drink this drink for the first time, they say, this is fine, nothing, blah, blah, blah.

People will start doing wild shit once they get drunk off this drink. Like, one time we went to, we went to Vegas, right? Me and the guys, we had this guy who was a driver, right? So we was like, oh, let's go to like, let's go and get some drinks before. So he's like, yeah, man, I'll take you out to Lickstar. So we go to Lickstar and they've got all the drinks there. So me and the guys, we're all from London, we're like, oh,

we got a rare nephew we're like we're going to get a rare nephew and then he's like what do you drink he's like nah man I drink bourbon I drink bourbon so we're like listen try this rare nephew yeah he's like alright so we get the rare nephew this guy's drinking it like he's just pouring it out drinking it we're like bro slow down you don't drink this yeah yeah yeah yeah

And I was like, you don't drink this drink. It's not that kind of rum. Like maybe Captain Morgan. Yeah. But I'm telling you, I promise you, this drink is a creeper and it gives you a disgusting hangover if you drink it quick. Anyway, he starts drinking it. He starts drinking it. It's fine. We're in Vegas and like we're having the time of our lives. Yeah. I swear to you, I was having the best time of my life, man. You know, I'm there with like my best friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Babatunde there? No, Babatunde weren't there. Babatunde weren't there. He wasn't there, unfortunately. That's a shame. Yeah, Babatunde's not really... We would have liked it if Babatunde... He's not really a party boy like that. He likes a drink, though. Oh, yeah, you Merker Dragon stout, man. So we're in Vegas...

And then we look at Stan. Stan's in the pool, right? Laying out like this. And it was so hot in Vegas. This was Vegas in July. It was so hot. It's like, you know when you open an oven door and there's that heat? That's what we were surrounded by. It was so hot. And he just looked at this driver. And he was like...

We're like, Stan, you're right. He's like, what's happening? I ran into you. Bro, we told you. Next morning, he wakes up with like a disgusting hangover. And we're just like, bro, you know, that's Ray and nephew. That's what it does to you. He's like, nah, man, I don't believe that. I said, bro, you was... How is he still not believing this? Yeah, he never believed that. We said to him, we was like, bro, you was in the pool. Out of the pool.

of it you was out of it he's like nah man I'm always out of it I said bro you was in the jacuzzi with no bottoms on bro you that's Ray and Nephew that is it that's what it does to you he's like oh really I had no bottoms on I said yeah bro you took the bottoms off bro it was disgusting yeah we almost got kicked out bubbles in your mouth bubbles up your ass Stormzy was there Stormzy was there yeah you guys need to try the Ray and Nephew you're yeah that's but like pace yourself

Yeah. Make sure you've got nothing to do the next day. Now I think of it, everyone on that Rain Nephew poster was laughing their heads off. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carnival. Like you go to Nightingale Carnival, everyone's drinking a bit of Rain Nephew or Magnum. Yeah, man. Yeah, good vibes. I've got a bottle of Jack Iron at home. What's that? Rum. Is it Caribbean rum? I mean, it looks horrible. It looks so strong. You know there's a Caribbean rum that is like 80% proof, yeah? Yeah. And when we were doing the Big Nasty show...

Like, you can only get it from Jamaica. It's called jancrobatty, yeah? And it's like, you know, like you make the rum and then you've got the afters, which is meant to be the waste. But people drink this in Jamaica, yeah? And apparently it's like so strong. And I remember everyone was trying to source it. And it was so funny seeing all these people like in TV. And it was like, big nasty. Where can we find some of the...

jankro's patty we arrive at your dream dessert yes my dream is that you like stuff sweet yes we've heard that from you this is looking good um it's gotta be um apple crumble and custard 90 crumble though wow i need nine i need the i need 90 crumble 10 apple this is huge yes yes we've we've never had look apple crumbles come up at

a fair bit it's a classic dessert yes but no one's ever requested 90% of crumble I need all the crumble bro I can't because you know what it is shouldn't that be called crumble apple then maybe yeah we should petition for that yeah man what's it called the gov.org yeah man let's do that man if it gets 100 signatures it has to go to parliament 100% man give Mr Kippen something to do bro what the fuck has he been doing man all this time bro making them little finger joints yeah

He ain't even been getting his nephew in on stuff. Kipling. Kipling a nephew. Kipling a nephew. Yeah, man. Get a nephew in. Apple crumble and custard, 90% crumble. Especially with a custard. I don't mind it with ice cream, but I do like it with custard. One of my favourites, though, is from a place called Bagel King. Again, it's in Wharf Road. Bagel King is open 24-7. You can go there, like four in the morning, they're open, and you can get cake and custard at this time. They make it for you hot. Yeah.

You can also get, you remember like school cake, cake you had in school, that with the icing, with the sprinkles. You can get that with custard, get chocolate cake and custard. So a lot of times, predominantly mainly in my early twenties, when I'd go out with my friends, it would always end. So a lot of the clubs we would go to would always be like in central London, Oxford Street. Some of them was like in east central when they would have like events. Then after that,

Like you'd be like, you'd be like, where are you going? Everyone will go Bagel King. Yeah. Everyone turns up in Bagel King. So you're like, yeah, we'll go in Bagel King. Yeah.

So you might see a girl, you're like, I'm going to catch you in Bagel King. It's a bit like how, you know, that's a smooth move. Oh no, everyone was there. So you know, like, you know, like, you know, like when you go out and there's a girl that let's say you've seen and you wanted to approach her, but you're like, everyone's around, but you're like, I know she's going to be there later. So that would be the vibe. Do you know what I mean? It'd be like,

You got Bagel King, yeah? I'll probably see you in Bagel King. Why is it better then to talk to her in Bagel King if everyone's going to Bagel King? Surely everyone's around still. Yeah, they are. But not everyone would go to Bagel King. But the majority. Because it was in South London. And there's this thing that if you're from South London, we go everywhere, innit? So if the rave you went to was in Oxford Street or maybe East Central, because they have a lot of events in that bank on the Saturdays and Sundays, right?

So you're probably going to, you're from South, so you guys are from South, you're going Bagel King, 100%. If she said maybe she's from Northwest London, chances are she's not because she's going in a different direction. But some girls still would because it was like, everyone's going there. It's like the after party a little bit. You turn up outside Bagel King. I don't know if it's like this now. I haven't been there in years. But like, especially like, you know, you got to a rave, everyone's there. Everyone's there.

And you've got to remember, like, you've got the drug dealers there. And they didn't even go to the rave. They're just out. You know what I mean? They're working late nights. They're outside. It's a hard job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're outside. And then what you'd get in, like, my go-to order would normally be chicken escalope in cocoa bread.

So cocoa bread is like this soft, soft bread. It's a bit like, you guys have ever had a hardo bread? You ever had that? We've talked about hardo bread on this show before. It's a little bit like that, but it's like... You can drink Magnum wine and get hardo bread. Oh, yeah, bruv. Come on, man. Yeah, boy, that's a good night in, you know. Trust me, man. Listen. This girl arriving at Bagel King and you're sat there with a pint of Magnum. She's like, oh, no. That's a good night in, man.

in man trust me man someone's gonna get pregnant boy 100% man but like you go bagel king chicken escalope yeah you might get a guinness punch you familiar with guinness punch you get a guinness punch and then you'd probably get like a dessert which would be I'd always get cake and custard so you get cake and custard apple crumble and custard and it'd be packed be packed in there everyone's in there but

that would be the go-to place. So, you know, you've got the guys outside. It's a bit like, you know how you've got like American films and it's like everyone's all chilling at the diner. Do you know what I mean? Like everyone's at the diner. It's a little bit like the UK hood equivalent of that basically, innit? It's mad. I actually don't think I've seen many people get bagels in there.

do you know what I mean no real talk like you'd see someone get a bagel and you'd be like oh right you really getting a bagel what the fuck do you know what I mean but then there was like a little bit of a beef because there was another place Brick Lane they have a place and they do the salt beef bagel and that was always like you know some of my friends from East London would be like nah man

it's all about the salt beef bagel in East because they'd always have this rivalry against East and South sometimes amongst your friends so it'd be like yeah go get the salt beef bagel bro it's the best one and then we'd be from South nah bro Bagel King's the best nah go go Bagel King when you're young one of your friends is the only driver in the group five of you in the car after a rave you kind of go Bagel King everyone was there it was like the cool place to hang out as well but yeah again it does apple crumble and custard with 90%

like crumble. You get the custard on top and the custard would be hot, hot, hot. So the custard's hot, is the crumble cold or is the crumble hot as well? No, no, they heat up, they heat up for you in the microwave. So is this what you want for your dream menu? You want hot crumble, hot custard? Yeah, yeah, you can't have cold custard.

I do. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. Hot crumble, cold custard, or ice cream. Because it's the same as ice cream. It's not the same, man. It's more thick. It's more thick. Ah, come on. Cold custard. Ice cream is just very cold custard. Cold custard reminds me of shows like Brainiac when they used to do experiments. Ha ha ha!

You remember that, Britaniac? Yeah. I remember one time they filled our whole swimming pool with custard and tried to walk on it. They tried to walk across it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that episode. Great episode. Sky One and that. You know what's going on, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll watch that when I get home. Cold custard. Was it Richard Hammond? Was it Richard Hammond? It was Richard Hammond. There was another guy on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh? John Tickle. John Tickle. John Tickle was on there as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was straight to the point. There was no vibes. There was no laughter, nothing. He said, we're walking on custard and action.

action. Yeah, man. Great program. Yeah. It's the first time I've thought about Brainiac in about 15 years. Yeah, man. Absolutely delighted. That was a really good program, man. Really, really good. But that's what custard reminds you of. Yes. Yeah. Like cold custard though. Yeah. Cause they tried to fill up the pool. Yeah. Yeah. John Tickle tried to walk across it. But I do like custard. I like that. What's the, what's the, the, the brand one? What's the really expensive one?

expensive brand is it ambrosia ambrosia uh there's birds as well right yeah yeah i had some rice pudding recently on the weekend man yeah yeah i felt like putting on heartbeat bro i was just like yeah man i don't have rice pudding a lot but it feels like a real old school dish you know what i mean like i feel like i'm in the hovis advert you remember them old hovis adverts

but the boy's just like pushing up the bike up the hill and stuff and then he gets home and he's like bread are you shitting me fucking bad bread I pushed my bike up a fucking hill wanted to get some nice bread and you get me the fucking bad bread pushing this bike since school

yeah I'll have a bad advert yeah it was a good advert that yeah yeah I'll invite you to your menu back now see how you feel about it yes yeah let's do it man you want sparkling water you would want bread with salted butter a starter you want

Real sushi. Real underlined. Yeah, man. Main course, your mum's curried chicken and rice with coleslaw. Side dish, ramen from Japan. Drink, sarsaparilla and dessert, apple crumble, 90% crumble with hot custard from Bagel King. Yes.

100%. Fantastic. Feel good about it? Yeah, I think that's a good meal, man. Like I could have that any day of the week. I'd be satisfied with that. There's a nice bit in there. There's a bit of bougie stuff in there. You know what I mean? You've got a bit of, you know, I'm cultured. I've been in Japan. You've got a bit of homely stuff in there. And then there's the stuff that just speaks to my childhood with the apple crumble and custard.

Sort of a, you've almost got a whole day in there because, you know, you're starting off with a bit of sushi. Oh, yeah. And you're going to your mum's. Yes, yeah, yeah. And then you're going out with the lads. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, you're out with the lads. Come on, let's have it large. Booze you in a couple of lines. Not me. I'm going to get apple crumb and custard. Good. That's a lovely anti-drugs message to finish the episode off with. Thank you so much, Mo. No, thank you so much, man. It's been a pleasure, man. Thanks for having me on. I appreciate it, man. Bye.

Thank you so much to Mo Gilligan. That was a fantastic episode. What a pleasure. I think we got to know Mo better than we've got to know any other guest. Yeah, that was a fantastic episode. And look, you should all go and see Mo on tour. In the moment, world tour, but this extension, he's going all over the UK. You've got to go and see him. MoGilligan.com for tickets. And his new podcast, Mo Gilligan, Beginning, Middle and End.

go and listen to that as well wherever you get your podcasts and we can promote those because mo did not say a couple of cans the secret ingredient so thank you the sarsaparilla was very clearly in a jug in the fridge yes uh we could have pushed him on a couple of things like custard like where's the custard coming from yeah we could have a can how many cans do you want i guess so that would have seen mean-spirited if we tried to back him it would have felt mean-spirited he didn't specify yeah himself yeah you know

I mean, the peas, I guess, might come from a can. Maybe. Look, this might be an episode that we get picked up on a lot forever. But like, do you know what? We'd happily get Mo back on to defend himself. Yeah, please. And to make his case. So, you know, if that's what happens, then we win. Yeah. Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu Podcast. We will see you again next week. Goodbye. See you next week.

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