Ep 294: Carey Mulligan
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Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the packet of gnocchi of conversation, opening it up with the knife of friendship, putting the gnocchi into the boiling water of the internet, and waiting for all the interesting topics of conversation to float to the top of the water. Podcast gnocchi.

gnocchi that is a gamble my name is James Acaster together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite a guest and ask them to favour ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink not in that order and this week our guest is Carey Mulligan if there was an Italian Dennis the Menace his dog would be called gnocchi

Cary Mulligan, an excellent, excellent actor, of course. One of the best. One of my absolute faves. I'm very intimidated this week. You're always intimidated, James. By the actors? No, by me and the great Benito. Yes, you're both very intimidating people. Yes, you are always intimidated by the actors. Not so intimidated that you don't ask them incessant and endless questions about the craft of acting. Well, I'm going to hold back this week and I'm going to stick to food.

and just stick to yeah uh my job as a podcaster not get none of the fanboy out too much but i think people like you fanboying out and you know people like to hear about the craft of acting if you're interviewing an actor that's a good thing to ask myself i

I couldn't care less. You couldn't care? No. Everyone does their job. Let's get it done. So you don't care about the jobs. You want to know about the food. That's why I'm here. We're a good team. Yeah. I'm interested to chat to Kerry. She's had a wonderful career. And, you know, I'm sure she enjoys food and she's got some stuff to talk about. And she's in a new film, which I very much enjoyed, called The Ballad of Wallace Island. As did I. It's out at cinemas for 5th May. Yes. It's Kerry. It's Kerry.

Tim Key Tom Basden yes also a friend of the podcast Sian Clifford is in it as well yes that's three that's three guests in this film three previous off-menu guests yes if you count Kerry who's just about to come in be exciting because I don't think we've you know we've got to get the full cast list yeah we've done that for a film yet yeah and had the full cast list for a film yeah so yeah and this is a film with not many people in it only two other people so yeah so we could do it

It's well worth your time. You've got to go and see it. Really funny. It's fantastic. I mean, it's a Basden and Key joint. They've written it. Yeah, and those guys are funny, cheeky little boys. Funny, cheeky little boys. And they're funny, cheeky little boys in this as well. Yes, it's about an eccentric lottery winner, which is played by Tim Key. He lives alone on an island who pays this folk duo that he absolutely loves to come and reunite. And play a gig. And play a gig just for him. Yes.

even though they split up ages ago, these two. But it's fantastic. It's very funny. It's very heartfelt. Yes. Quite emotional at times. Very heartfelt. I didn't know Tim Key had a heart. Tim has layers. Now listen, we love Kerry Mulligan. Yes. But if she says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick her out of the Dream Restaurant. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. Especially because the boats come very rarely. And...

We'd have to wait ages for a book. As if you've seen the film, you get that. This is the first time James has watched a film in advance of talking to a guest. And I'm beginning to see why we don't do it. I've never felt more alive. Because you're making too many specific references to a film the listener will not have seen yet. And this week, the secret ingredient is...

Mozzarella Bag Water. This was suggested by an audience member at a live show that we did recently. Congratulations to that person. At the Palladium. Mozzarella Bag Water. I mean, I can't see Carey Mulligan saying that. No, I mean, they said that they liked it, this audience member. You... I said I'd quite like the idea of it. You loved it. The idea of shotting

pure mozzarella bag water I would happily stick a straw in a bag of mozzarella and drink it like a Capri Sun and then open it and have the cheese yeah I'd have the cheese obviously well the cheese is going in a dish or whatever yeah I prefer hot mozzarella to cold mozzarella interesting if I was nailed down on it but you know in a caprese mum

Mamma mia. But I'm not just eating a ball of mozzarella like a hand fruit. So if Carrie says mozzarella bag water... James, you're not very good at banter today. Well, I don't feel like there's anything to add to that. I think it's funny. Yeah. Just to let you run. Give me a little giggle. I'm a comedian and I operate off the reactions.

I'm always chuckling away at the funny stuff you say. Yes. Putting out my best stuff about mozzarella hand fruit. Yeah. Give us a little giggle. Let me feel like I'm doing my job here. But I don't really laugh very loud ever. No. So like, I'm laughing in my head. I'm smiling. Yeah. I'm having a good time. Yeah. But like, you know, the listener doesn't... Ed can't be very funny. His best friends are not laughing at his jokes. Well, I mean, maybe there's something in that. Yeah. Oh, he's smiling. Yeah.

No, I'm not. There you go. Put that in for the early one, Benita. We don't want to kick Kerry out, but we will if we have to. Yes, we will. If she says, I want some mozzarella bag water, maybe it's still a sparkling. Mmm. Mozzarella bag water. Could be straight away. You're out. Straight away. Back to the island. This is the Off Menu Menu of Kerry Mulligan. Kerry Mulligan.

Welcome, Kerry, to the Dream Restaurant. Thanks. Welcome, Kerry Mulligan, to the Dream Restaurant, but it's been a year for some time. Incredible. Wow. Wait, say it again? Yeah, good point. Welcome, Kerry Mulligan, to the Dream Restaurant, but it's been a year for some time. Even less diction that time, I'd say. Yeah, I got the first half. I got welcome to the Dream Restaurant. Were you ever taught in Tano Nansiak? James, you're still shouting. Why are you still shouting? I've got to slowly come down.

So you'll ease back in. You learnt to enunciate on stage and stuff? Would you have any tips for me with that diction that I just... Slow down. Yeah, slow down. I'd stop by slowing down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the second half you got no idea. No idea. Welcome to the Dream Restaurant. May you have a lovely time. Oh, that would be good. That's good. I should probably start saying that. What did you say? We've been expecting you for some time. Oh, shit. Right, of course. And we have.

That's the catchphrase, but I think May You Have a Lovely Time is actually slightly better. I'll do that for the next guest. Okay. Congrats on this film. Thank you. Wonderful stuff. I mean, you're so good in it. Thanks. For the listener, The Ballad of Wallace Island is the name of the film.

That's why we're a team. James is panicking because normally we have a little sheet in front of us telling us about the film. I'm not panicking. But we've actually... You've seen it, right? For the first time ever, we've both watched the thing that we're supposed to be promoting. You didn't watch Zero Day. I actually watched Zero Day. Yeah, this sucker did. I watched Zero Day. All the way through. I watched Zero Day all the way through. But we have watched The Ballad of Wallace Island. Now you've got a piece of paper. And we've got a piece of paper which actually gives less information than I thought it would. What does it say? It just says it's in UK cinemas 30th of May. Mm-hmm.

And then it's a little summation of the story, really. It's a wonderful film. I genuinely, a number of times after...

you delivered lines said out loud to my girlfriend she's so good aww such a good actor it's amazing that's so nice you're just like this is going to be a very basic thing and I James is very very impressed by good acting so a lot of this will be because I don't know how it works a lot of the questions will be how do you pretend to be someone else when you're in a film things like that a lot of actors don't do that very well what pretend act act a lot of actors don't disappear into their roles and become that person fully so you forget they're even acting

A lot of actors can't do that for a number of different characters. I think every film I see you in, I forget that it's you and I just think that's a new person that I'm watching in the film. And I would like to know how that's done. It seems like a magic trick. That's so nice. That's literally the nicest thing you could possibly say to an actor, obviously. You said that to be nice. But that is really nice. He means it. Yeah. Thanks. But how are you doing that?

Like, this one, legitimately, I just showed up in the nicest possible way. I had a 10-week-old baby, and Tim had asked me to do it when I was...

quite pregnant already and I loved it. I read it and loved it, but I was very much not sleeping. So I think maybe that's a good thing. Just like sleep deprivation and then someone puts a camera on you and you can't really think about stuff. Start acting, I guess. Well, not acting. Maybe that's it. Not acting. Maybe I should try that for my next thing. Sounds like Dustin Hoffman. That's Dustin Hoffman's story.

Oh, what, Dustin Hoffman stayed, yeah, he didn't sleep, did he? But then wasn't it, that's the famous try acting darling. Olivier gave him some shit for it. And then people fall in, and Daniel Day-Lewis has come out and backed up Hoffman. I've been like, I think Olivier didn't know what he was on about. Yeah, well, Day-Lewis is doing all sorts of wild stuff, isn't he? He's wild.

Yeah. Seen that guy? He was a goat, isn't he? He could play a goat. Yeah, he could. And you'd believe it. And he'd eat trainers and shoes for weeks and everything. He'd be a very convincing goat. I think Daniel Day-List is playing a goat in a film. He can gnaw my trousers off my body. Look at the credits for The Witch. Yeah. It's him. Black Phillip.

Daniel Day-Lewis is like, Philip, that's exclusive to this podcast. The most exciting moment for me in the film. Wait, in our film or in DBL? Your film. Not in Daniel Day-Lewis in The Witch. Not in The Witch, no. Your film was when Tim's character has made you all a curry. Chicken charcuterie. Yeah. He says afterwards, chicken charcuterie. Get this.

I introduced him to that curry. I know. You know that? Well, I know, because he said that on his episode of this. I can't believe it. I stood up in the cinema and I told everyone. I told everyone, that's me. I introduced Tim Keating to that curry. I've influenced the film. There were lots of curry jokes, though. Do you want to take credit for those? Well, I guess so, because I guess... Because they're by association, they were your jokes. It all came off of that. I think Tim had had a curry before James introduced him to Chicken Chakuti, right? We don't know that. No one could prove it.

But yeah, that felt like a big moment for me as well when I was watching it, even just by association. And there were lots of crumble gags. There was a crumbly-wumbly moment, but it was cut for, I think for the American audience. Bazan slips up in a crumble? He slips in a crumble, but you know what's interesting? Is that people think it's the rice pudding. Because she sells them rice pudding in the shop. And so the Americans, all of them, they

think that it's rice pudding there's a clear shot of it I know but they don't know what crumble is oh yeah there's so many good crumble gags and they're all gone there's a crumble blooper reel just waiting to come out

You change it to cobbler for the Americans? No, but then you... No integrity there. There's no integrity there. It's also not the same thing, a crumble and a cobbler. Isn't it? No. Cobbler's got more sort of solid bits on top. Chunks on top. More chunks, yeah. Whereas a crumble is, of course, crumble. Just a crumble. It's just crumble. It is just crumble. We've got different gaps in our knowledge. Yes. And we've filled them. Do you find that with anyone? Have you ever worked with anyone and you found...

You're like, oh, this is great. We work so well together because this person's got what I haven't got. I've got what they haven't got. We're such a good team. An acting partner, maybe. Yeah. They're all good. Oh, fines. Have you seen The Dig? Yeah, lovely. Have you? Everyone watched it because it was in COVID. There was nothing left to watch. Sure. A huge audience. I watched two people digging.

Yeah, loads of people. Emerald Fennell, who wrote and directed Promising Young Woman and Saltburn. Yeah. But yeah, she's just very good though. I just work with very lovely, good people. Very lucky. Who do you prefer singing with? Bansden or...

Chegg's notes. I haven't even got my notes. You've gone into a question without realising what you're going to say. I forgot Justin Timberlake's name for a second. Timberlake, Timberlake. Baston. Yeah, yeah. Easy. Easy. You sing with Oscar Isaac in that film as well? No, I don't sing with Oscar. I'm just mean to him. I thought the three of you... No, it's The Soldier. Marcus sings with Oscar though. He's not in the film, but he's the... So in the film, Oscar's partner is dead. Mm-hmm.

and they have a duet and that's Marcus's voice. Yeah. Marcus sings a very nice song. He's all over that. He sings on the old triangle as well. He does. Yeah. I love that soundtrack. It's a good soundtrack. Any other knowledge you want to get out there, James? You were pen pals and then you got together. This is accurate. You were at school with him. Yeah, I went to school with him. Yeah.

Yes. Basin's dad taught... Basin's dad taught me GCSE biology, yes. And taught Marcus GCSE biology as well. There you go. And I was in a production of Oliver with Marcus. And Marcus was the awful dodger. And you were? Charlotte, the Undertaker's daughter. I had a blonde ringlet wig. And it was clear from that production that he was going to be a star. Yeah. But then I told him very much to not do any acting. LAUGHTER

Ed disappeared into that role, didn't you? I did. People forgot you were even there. Yeah. How long did you live as Charlotte the Undertaker? Many, many years. Afterwards as well, for some reason. Couldn't take it. Just carried on. Wouldn't take the wig off. Yeah. Did he ever tell you who played the roles such as Fagin and... No. Oh, the teachers. The teachers took all the adult roles. That's a bit creepy. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah. They're also the best parts. Yeah. The teachers took them. Bill Sykes. Bill Sykes was played by Sally Hassan, who was a geography teacher and a former Olympic rower.

Couldn't act, I'd say. It's fair enough. Is it? Yeah, he was bad in that role. Lovely man, but not an actor. Not an actor. Yeah. I'd love to see a tape of that somewhere. I've got one knocking around. Have you really? Yeah, I think it's in my mum's house. I can probably dig it out. No way. Beneath it, I'll digitalise it and we'll send it over. You and Marcus round to Ed's for a little screening? Yeah, I'd love that. Yeah. Not bad. You were foodie. Do you like food? I do like food. I can't remember any of it.

I literally spent the last couple of days being like, I can't remember a single meal I've ever had in my life. We're going to try and narrow it down. We're going to try and at least drag one memory up for you that we can talk about. It's because I have three children and I can't remember anything. So then I started thinking about food. You nearly said you had two children. I know, I forgot one of them. Oh dear. She's very little. Three children, that is nuts.

You've got four cats. You've got four cats? Yeah. I think that's objectively weirder. Oh, it's weirder because it's not as normal. It's not as normalised, but it's not as nuts. Not as normalised. Absolutely. Having one kid is more nuts than having four cats. Do you think? Yeah, yeah. In terms of like the stress. Are they outside cats? No, no. They're inside cats. Completely all the time, always. Yeah, yeah.

They've got a catio. They've got a little catio. We built them a catio. Did you build them a catio? Well, someone else did. Do you use it as well? Yeah. In the summer, I'll go and lay out in there and the cats cannot believe I'm in the catio. They love it. That's where you go toilet there as well, right? Yeah, I use the litter tray, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, I'm a gentleman. It's all there. Yeah, yeah. But I love it so much. But I could not have even one kid. Really? Yeah. It does not seem fun. Oh, no, so fun. Oh, no, no, no.

No, you can't trick me. I'm not going to try. Parents are always tricking us. Yeah. Parents are always tricking the non-parents. So then you have a kid and then they go, we fucking got you. You're in the club. You've got to deal with all this stuff as well. Say goodbye to your life. Yeah. You're not going to get me. All right. We all start with still a spark in water. You remember that bit. 100%. Sparkling, but with lemon. Don't want it plain. And I don't want it with...

a very thin slice so I want like a wedge how big a wedge are we talking like I'll take it as big as they can yeah well this is the dream restaurant yeah this is the dream restaurant we can give you just two halves of a whole lemon if you want too much that's not a wedge is it a half no I want like a little wedge but I don't want you know because they often will give you what they would put you know like a complete slice on the slice yeah no no I don't like the slice

It's very frustrating, the slice, because you can't squeeze it. Well, and often they've been sitting out for hours, so they've kind of lost their lemoness. They've lost their lemoness. Yeah, I think... What's the biggest wedge you could have? Just one short of a half. That's the biggest wedge.

that's still a wedge yeah yeah it's got to have the triangle a quarter I think it would be a quarter a quarter but I reckon you could keep going with that angle and people would still call that a wedge do you know what I mean I've never seen it have you seen it I feel like I've seen it you could imagine it I can imagine it can you imagine it I can imagine it just less than a half just less than a half yeah you take a millimetre off a half that's a wedge I'd be happy it's larry because then also that keeps going yeah you're constantly re-lemoning every time you're refilling your glass you can give yourself a little squeeze do you make a sound effect when you squeeze it

No. Thank you for imagining it, though. I was just thinking, do I? No, I don't. I don't. Do you? Do you? What do you do? Yeah, I probably do a clown horn. Yeah, that's classic, isn't it? Yeah, something like that. Give us a quick example. Yeah. Yeah. I'll try it. That's good. I'd go, ooh. Ooh. That's more squeezy, to be fair. Yeah. I'd really, yeah. More pervy. Yeah. Or is the clown horn more pervy? Do it again.

That's pretty pervy. In the 70s, pervy. Yeah, yeah. I think we stick with no sound effects. I think you've got the right idea there. I think just a silent squeeze. It's on the deadly. And have you got ice as well? I can take it or leave it. See, this is what Americans have a problem with us for. I do more often than not do the thing where I take a drink and...

because there's ice. It kind of, you know, it does that. Cascades down you? That's a nightmare. It really is. What if you're doing that in a scene? What if they're like, okay, your character's drinking? I would never have that in a scene. Water and ice. Would you argue that? I'd say let's not. What if it was a really specific part of the character? What if you were like head of a big ice family? I'd have to have some practice. It happens literally all the time. What if there's ice in a drink? Your drink just pours down your front when you sip from it. I'd do so bad.

I don't know why. Marcus can't watch me. Can't watch you drink? Because if there's too much ice, it's fine if there's like two chunks, but if there's like five... You're a write-off. Yeah, five chunks. And he knows that. He knows, and so he'll see it coming. He'll be like, oh, babe. Have you thought about employing a bib system? Not for that. But the other day I was wearing like a decently nice bib.

that he, and I was about to eat like a big salad and he was like, do you want to put on a, so I put on a little apron. Yeah. At a certain point, you just have to know yourself and know that it's time to get the apron. And I can do that at home. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no one's judging you at home. I had brunch with a baby today. Oh, how was that? You don't like children. No, no. I hated it. But the baby put on a smock, a full smock to have its brunch. And I was thinking if that was acceptable for me to do that. What do you mean you had brunch with a baby? I had brunch with this baby. Who else was there? Baby's parents? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Good. I was meeting up with the parents, really. But then the baby's there. So you can't say. Was it necessary? Yeah.

The full smock. Yeah, yeah. That baby was messy. Messy baby with everything that was going on. Yeah, yeah. That definitely needed the smock. But I would like to also have one. Adult size. I was jealous. Yeah, oh, a baby size smock ain't doing nothing for me. It would be a nightmare. I'm wearing that as a normal bib at that point. Yeah, that's true. But it's got little arms on it. Well, that's good for tying around the back of the neck.

if you had a baby smock. You tied the arms around. There's not many brunch foods I can think of that a baby wouldn't make a mess of. There was shakshuka on this table. Oh, where were you? Root on Broadway markets. Oh. Nice. Nice. Delicious. And they were perfectly fine with my friend bringing along their own tea pack.

Put that in the episode. Own tea bag? Yeah, they brought along a tea bag and they were fine with that. Why did they bring along their own tea bag? This place doesn't do decaf tea bags. My friend was needing a decaf tea. So they were fine with it. I don't think you should not be okay with that though. I'm laughing because Ben is currently editing this out of the podcast. It's so boring. It's like the most boring thing I've brought up in ages. I bring up a lot of boring things on this podcast.

And I can't think of anything more boring that I've said ever. I loved it. Yeah, yeah. You loved it. Would you ever take your own tea bags to a restaurant? Or indeed any sort of take your own thing to a restaurant? Yeah, I would take... I'd take like slimline tonic, Schweppes, because I don't like many of the other ones. And normally they just have full fat and I don't want full fat because it's very sugary. I completely agree with you. Rubbish in the morning. Strapping this is going to be boring. Yeah.

Get ready for the most boring episode ever, everyone. I love Schweppes Slimline Tonic. Me too. It's the only one you can really find that is genuinely sugar-free. Yes. All the others, the fancy ones, your fever trees. They've got like sugar. 10 grams of sugar in them. I'm not touching them. So then you're basically having a cocktail. Yeah. Schweppes. It's got to be Schweppes every time. And it's bubbly. It's bubbly. It's like bubbly. It's bubbly as hell. I love it. It's bubbly.

it it's a sponsored ad no but i have we have taken that places before but nothing else because yeah they just it's not provided i uh recently got a big like palette of the bottles of schweps yeah just sort of knocking around and i thought that's that would be a good thing to have in the house it's a great you know not really drinking at home and i'll do schweps ice yeah i can hand as much i still want without spilling it

And I'll go lime and then some bitters on the top. Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon. I went through a very long seed lip phase. Oh, yeah. Pardon? What's that?

Seed lip is like a non-A aperitif thing that you put in... Booze-free gin, basically. Yeah. A stands for alcohol? Yes. A stands for alcohol. Is it nice? Does it make a difference? Not to shit talk it, but I stopped noticing the difference. But no, I think it is good. I'm sure it's lovely. Balanced. So good.

Pop-Lums or bread! Pop-Lums or bread, Carrie! Pop-Lums or bread! 10,000 times bread. Nothing gets Pop-Lums but bread. You've got to be careful when you're talking to a genie when you say things like 10,000 times bread because he will bring that to you. Oh, what? I wouldn't mind that. It's going to be 10,000. I don't want to get mental on bread because then you're too full. But bread, warm bread with special kinds of butter is lovely. Or I really do like a big bowl of olive oil with butter.

balsamic and sometimes it's got garlic in it you know like mushed up I don't think I've ever had it with mushed up garlic before not mushed up garlic but like roasted garlic just in there I like the sound of that more than mushed up raw garlic did I say raw? but that's what I was imagining yeah no not good no no no very much cooked I'd like to the sound of both is that bad? no

No. I liked the sound of the mushed up garlic, didn't I? It's a big play for the start of a meal to have raw garlic, I think. I didn't know if it was raw. I thought maybe it was confit. Oh, oh, oh.

You proud of yourself? The face you pulled was so proud of yourself. Oh, it's funny the way I said it. Yeah. Confie. Yeah. That's what it is. It's confie. I just say confie normally. I wouldn't like break up the syllables like that. Yeah. It's something that I find amusing. I used to know somebody who would say basketball instead of basketball. Yeah. Who said that? It's funny. I don't play basketball. What sort of bread are we talking? Is there a specific type? Probably something like brown. Brown. Interesting. Where'd you discover that?

See, this is exactly what I was panicking about, is that you were going to be like, in what specific restaurant did you have that specific bread? And I can't tell you. But we'll always ask, but it's fine if there's no answer to that. I don't know. Crusty on the edge and soft on the inside. Yes. I like that it's brown, though. We don't get a lot of shout outs for brown bread, to be honest. Really? People normally go like sourdough or like focaccia or something like that. No, focaccia, no. Focaccia is so hit or miss. I suppose this is Dream Restaurant, but focaccia can go...

the wrong way I think it has to be really good I think you can get away with like any old brown bread if you it's not really about the bread really it's about the what you're putting on it soaking it and things and you said special butters yeah what do you have in your mind when you're imagining special butters they've made it there it might have like a slight kind of something like truffle or something flavour going on but you can't quite put your finger on what it is no but they've made it there yeah

As long as they made it there, they can put whatever they like in it. Is there a cow out back in your mind? No, not that intense. That might be Day-Lewis again. Day-Lewis in a costume. It could be. With another actor, I guess, if it's a cow, like a pantomime cow. Be Day-Lewis and Jeremy Strong. Yeah.

Yeah. In there together. Yeah. Who's the head and who's the back in that situation? I think you've got to assume that Day-Lewis is the head. Yeah. Always. Yeah. Yeah. Jeremy Strong's. He's earned it, to be fair. Yeah, yeah. And Jeremy Strong knows that. Yeah. Of course he does. He's fine with it. We all know that. He knows he's paying his dues. Yeah. And he's loving it. Yeah.

He's loving it. If he's the back end, he's the one that's got the udder as well. So when the butter's made, he's got a lot to do there. I've seen there's somebody else for that, no? What, who provides the milk? Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to do that. Are you suggesting that Strong is providing milk? Yeah, you've got to commit to the role. You don't want this butter now, do you? I don't really want it anymore. Why? It's from Jeremy Strong's teats. You don't want it? No.

A privilege. Yeah, I'm good. I'm actually, I'm going to go oil and vinegar. Yeah, fair enough. That's a bit insulting. If we ever have him on the podcast, we're going to have to tell him. No, I love Jeremy Strong. We're going to have to tell him that you didn't want his butter. No, I don't think he would want mine either. Jeremy Strong would if it was for a roll. This is true. Yeah, this is true. Well, you can ask him. It's Tummy's rum. Someone loves the thought of Jeremy Strong's milk. I haven't had lunch. Also, you said it was for a roll. Oh, yeah. Bread.

Bread roll. Oh, yeah. It's not a roll though. Very much brown bread. Yeah. He's a pun merchant. Yeah. I don't know if you're aware of the work of Ed Gamble. Yeah. Absolute pun merchant. Loves it. Yeah.

So we're going warm brown bread. Warm brown bread. Crusty on the outside. Crusty on the outside, soft so that you can pull it out and butter that has been made. By a real cow. By preferably a real cow in-house. In-house butter. I think we can bring you the olive oil and balsamic as well. I'd love both. I'd love the option. And then you dip it around. If that's your dream, then that's what you should have.

Your dream starter. Oh, God. Okay. So stressed. I am stressed. I had to text my friend Flick and ask her. So it's... You had to ask Flick what your dream starter was? Well, she makes it. Great. So it's... We need to find out more about that. And I thought that it was...

I thought it was a her thing, but it's a Delia thing. So it's halloumi with lime and capers. It's a Delia recipe. I think I've had this Delia recipe. So you make like a big jar of the dressing. You do the halloumi on the barbecue. You get it off the barbecue. You get the dressing on there like immediately and serve it within 90 seconds because then that's the point of halloumi. So maybe the barbecue would need to be at the table, but it has to be that fast.

I think we can do it. This is a dream restaurant. We can have the barbecue in the middle of the table. Yeah, absolutely. Just a searing hot barbecue. Because halloumi is only good for like 90 seconds. Yeah, I agree. I mean, once it gets cold, that's a nightmare. But even like a couple of minutes in, it's not good. It's got to be off the barbecue, dressing on...

service. Still a bit melty. Still a bit melty. And it's got the squeak, sure. Yeah. But if you're leaving it... If you leave it too long, the squeak is outrageous. It's squeak central. Yeah. That's what puts me off it every time. But that's because you're having it too late. Yeah, you're having it too late. Yeah, but you've got to have it like...

fresh off and then it won't squeak at all. But they have to guarantee me there's no squeak. But this is my dream restaurant. Yeah. So there will be no squeak. But there might be. You want a bit of squeak, don't you? Barely. Well, that's halloumi. There's always going to be the hint of a squeak. No, but that's what I'm saying is that if it's super, super, super efficient, no squeak. Great. I wish I lived in that world. Yeah. Anyway, my friend Flick makes it and it's her thing she brings to the world. Who's Flick? How did you meet Flick? Flick is one of my best mates.

and her husband Sam is Marcus's best friend he's a farmer how did Marcus make friends with a farmer I think they met when they were like teenagers was he a farmer then Marcus was not a farmer he was spending time in farm country yeah

Yeah, they're best mates. They go scrumping? What's scrumping? Stealing apples from the farmers and stuff, from orchards. Did they as children or do they now? As children. No, they didn't. Now, I've seen Mumford & Sons. I'm pretty sure they steal apples from orchards. They've got the look. Certainly first album cycle. It was very much scrumping. He kept his Artful Dodger costume. But like, yeah, were they going around...

What, Scrumping His Children? Yeah. I think they met too late. They were past the scrumping phase by the time they met. They were late, late teenagers. Yeah. How old were you when you did Never Let Me Go? How old were you in that film? 23? Do I put somewhere around there? I got... Nish Kumar, the comedian, gave me that audition.

on DVD oh right bought it for me for a birthday or something and I mean we spoke about this encounter but haven't spoke about this part of it on the podcast before at Glastonbury a couple of years ago we were hammered at like one in the morning and I looked over from like I was getting some chips from a van and my girlfriend was like I think Nish is talking to Andrew Garfield over there and I was like fuck you're not talking to Andrew Garfield you're absolutely wasted you don't know and I walked over and it was him

and I didn't know that we'd been told by a mutual friend that he was going to be there and if you do meet him just like you know he's never been to the festival before you guys have just make him feel at home don't go on about his films to him that's all we did oh that's lovely at one point this was going I got him never let me go on DVD this guy I got him never let me I was like I watched that film man it's a good film

It is a good film. It's a great film. Do you want to tell Kerry how you opened the chat with Andrew Garfield? Yeah, what did you say? I never met him before. Yeah. I shouted, Garfield, you motherfucker. Perfect. He would have loved that. He did. He said, Acaster, you cunt. Did he? Yeah. It was a very nice chat. But then afterwards, Nish then told me afterwards, we were specifically told not to talk about Spider-Man.

Did you talk about Spider-Man? So much. Didn't stop talking about Spider-Man to him. Poor guy. But you balanced it out. With all of his other films, yeah. Is that balance? Or talking more about the other films? What was the ratio of Spider-Man to everything else? Spider-Man, like 50% maybe of the chat was us talking about Spider-Man to him. And then little bits of Never Let Me Go, Silence...

Oh, we mentioned the Jonathan Larson film that he did, that Tick, Tick, Boom. Tick, Tick, Boom. I was going to say, you should have brought up Tick, Tick, Boom. Yeah, I definitely talked about that. Great. I love it when actors can sing and stuff. I've seen you sing in two films. Were you able to do that anyway? I was singing. And then did you have to learn for the films? I was a choir singer. You know, I was that level of singer. That's good. Well, no, but not like a school choir. Yeah. Yeah.

I could sing in tune. Two films I've seen you sing in, it's folk singing. Yes. Have you done other types of singing in films that I haven't seen? I sang in Shame, Steve McQueen film. Oh, I've seen that. I think I was mainly distracted by a certain person's dong for the whole, but like... Marcus went to the premiere of that with my mother. Ooh.

And we'd literally just met. Marcus and I had been going out for a couple of months and I was away. And I was like, oh, go, go. I don't know why. You knew what happened. Yeah, you know the film. You knew what was going to happen. No warning? Oh, I did. I think I said it's a bit racy.

full dong dad didn't go to be fair well the aforementioned Nish he went to see that with his dad yes and had a whole routine about it in his debut Edinburgh show did he yeah that man can bend some serious fast I think was what he said about him sorry you're also very good in that film

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No. No, I do not like eating outside. Really? I don't. People are always like, oh, let's sit outside. I don't want to. I don't want to be in the corner. In Wallace Island, you had to eat outside. You were eating a mug of peanut butter. Do you know what? That was actually disgusting. That was because Tim has a peanut allergy or a nut allergy. Right. So I wasn't allowed to have peanut butter. So it was Biscoff. Oh.

oh my god that's too much and I had to do like ten takes of Biscoff oh yeah did it annoy you that you had to make that change based on his peanut butter being in the script that he wrote yeah even though he's got a peanut butter energy yeah like a fairly lethal one I think yeah which is hence the Biscoff when you do I've asked a lot of actors this but I am fascinated with it every single time someone's eating in a film I'm thinking right how much are they eating how many takes are they doing it

When they're just pushing it around the plate, it takes me out of the scene. I know, I find that so annoying. But then also, if they're eating all the time, I think, fuck it up, they must have... I know, it's distracting either way. I tend to be in the camp of they haven't started eating yet or they're already done, so that I don't have to deal with... It's also the continuity reset is a nightmare. Yeah. Because every time you eat a tiny bit of potato, someone comes in and replaces that tiny bit of potato after that take, and then you have to wait for that to happen because they're diligently, brilliantly doing their job, but it is sort of like... But with a mug of peanut butter...

It's not like we're seeing it in the mug though, are we? And no one's wolfing that down. No, I was taking selective bites on my coverage. I was breastfeeding though, so it wasn't, you know, the first couple of takes I was kind of like, oh, Biscoff, yummy. And then after a while, not so much. I will eat, now and again, I'll be eating peanut butter with a spoon.

I'll definitely take a little. Do you know what I like to do? Is get a teaspoon peanut butter and then dip it in jam. That's nice. Just have it on a teaspoon, just a bit of peanut butter and jam. That's great. Now and again, I'll do a square of chocolate, a spoonful of peanut butter straight on top. Date, medjool date, peanut butter inside. It's like a Snickers. That's fancy. If you haven't had a Snickers in a long time. Never had a Snickers. Yeah. If for some reason Snickers aren't available in your area, but medjool dates and peanut butter are. You are set. Yeah.

They started putting those, and I don't go, I've gone to a pretty standard gym, but they started just putting medjool dates out for free. Have they? That's not a standard gym, man. That's not standard. It is a standard gym. It's very bog standard, and they just suddenly started doing it. What's bog standard, though? It's just got regular equipment. It's not fancy. What else do you get for free? Yeah. Nothing. You don't get... Well, there's free Fruit Fridays. Oh.

Is the dates included in the Free Fruit Fridays? No, no, no. Do they have towels? Do you have to bring your own towel? Yeah. I had to shower there for a few weeks because we were having building work done and I had to bring my own towel. Okay. So they don't do towels but they do do dates? Yeah. That is weird. That's a weird gym, isn't it? They stopped doing the dates now but for a little while there were dates. How long were they doing dates? It was like on random days for about a month. Yeah.

You never knew when there was going to be dates? Stones in or stones out? I never picked one up, so I don't know if the stones were in or stones were out. I can't resist. I was like, I'm here. I'm here to work out. I'm not stuffing my face with dates. Good post-workout snack, though. It is very good. Yeah, but I don't know enough about that stuff. Don't risk it. I'm like, I'm not eating. That's the trick. I bet if I eat that, I could try and come back tomorrow and my membership's been revoked because I didn't pass the test. Hmm.

What's the test in that scenario? You ate food. You're not allowed here again. Resist. Yeah, yeah. Free food Fridays always take advantage. There's a bowl of apples, bowl of pears, bowl of bananas, a

I try and get there early on free fruit Fridays, otherwise nothing but pears. Pears get left last. They're the last one. You're not eating that after a workout. They're kind of messier to eat, I suppose. Yeah. People are either eating bananas on the way in or eating apples on the way out. Where are you having a pear? Are you not eating an apple on the way in? Would that be out of the question? Yeah, it's not doing you any good. Right. A banana's going straight to your legs, is what my mum says. Yeah, correct. Hang on. What do you mean, correct? Like, as in it gives you...

Strengthening your legs, is that not a thing? Yes. How can it strengthen your legs? I remember mum always being like, have a banana. Go straight to your legs? Yeah. You've heard this phrase? Just now.

Why do you take that in your stride so much? That's one of the weirdest phrases I've ever heard. It goes straight to your legs as in like fortifies you and gives you energy. Goes straight to your legs. Bananas go straight to your legs. I would think of a phrase like if someone said, oh, I don't eat that, it goes straight to my hips, which doesn't mean fortified, does it? That means put weight on. Mum didn't say that. But a banana goes straight to your legs. As in it gives you strength to run up a hill. Yeah. Because also now I'm imagining someone's legs going bendy like a banana. Oh,

Oh, no. No. You've got the wrong end of the stick. I've got completely the wrong end of the stick. Yeah. Go straight to your legs. I think all of it can be true. Yeah. Where does a date go then? Well, dates, unfortunately, dates are just quite sugary, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah, you see? This is the trap they were laying. I'm not going to fall for that. There's so much conflicting advice on dates. I can't sift through it all. But do you want as a little bonus dish for your dream menu, I can give you the date with the peanut butter in it.

I don't want that till the end, though. Put a pin in that. We'll come back to it. Save it. That will come in to play. So what is this main course, actually? Have you got lots of options? Because we can help maybe narrow it down. Or are we in a scenario where you can't remember any of them? I can't remember anything. Well, no, I can't remember going to a restaurant. I can't think of like, oh, I went to this restaurant. Like Mezcal. Went to Tuscany and had Italy, you know, pasta and whatnot. I can't do that. I can't remember places. What I want to eat the most, which is so pathetic, is like...

burnt vegetables okay let's let's put this apart i want to like like a butternut squash chopped up roasted in the oven feta cheese avocado butter beans but the bold beans have you had those no oh my god i never cared about butter beans before in my life and these bold beans are like insane and then pine nuts and then loads of dressing

It's very rare that I completely change my opinion on it. It's not indulgent, but that's exactly what I want. I'm so sorry. No, no. When you said burnt vegetables, I thought disaster. You described it, I thought delicious. Delicious. But you can do it with cauliflower, you can do it with broccoli, but that's sort of what I do on Rotational Ways. Like hack something up.

Get it to almost burnt, like really, really roasted. Chard and... Chard and yummy. Yeah. And then avocado, feta, pine nuts, lots of dressing. Delicious. That does sound absolutely delicious. Bowls of that. That's fantastic. Yeah, yeah. And it is a nice, easy thing to make at home. Yeah. That is very tasty every time. Yeah. Well on board for that. What are these? Are these bold beans a type of bean or is it like a... It's a company. A company. Yeah. He's going to be eating these...

They are so good. Are they in a tin or a jar? They're in a tin. Wait, they're in a jar. Oh my God. Fuck. No, that was good because you said tin but you acted jar. I know. I need to go to sleep. They're in a... We have that effect on a lot of guests. Yeah, you were not first. They're in a jar. They're in a jar.

do a little drainage a little wash them off but they are so delicious and you mix those in after you've charred everything up Benito's now showing us the bold beans there you go thank you Benito on a screen why does it say 27 oh that's for lots of them though it's got to be buying in bulk queen butter beans that's bulk yeah that's six jars for 27 queen butter beans they're so good looks like a big jar as well it's a big jar it's like this big yeah six for 27 what's that what's the maths on that why are you looking at me

I'm not going to be able to do that. I don't think... Per bean. What does it work at per bean, Benita? 48 for 12. I feel like you should be... I'm buying direct. Sainsbury's is marking that up. Yeah. You should be buying those bold beans. I really should. They also sell out. Yeah. Couldn't get them from Sainsbury's. They sent me chickpeas. What? I hate to break it to you, Kerry. Now you've mentioned them on this podcast, you're never going to be able to get them again unless they will get in contact with you. What, bold beans? Yeah, bold beans will get in contact with you. I want some first. Yeah.

Bold beans will get in contact with you. Okay, thank God. But you better answer the call, otherwise this is going to be flying off the shelves. You're going to get better at getting them. I couldn't get them last week. There you go. It's good because you didn't come on this podcast. And now your life's about to change. As long as you remember that you were on this podcast because you're saying that you forget. You can't remember any meals you've ever had. You've got to remember this. Or what tins or jars are. Does it help as an actor to not remember your own life? You're a blank canvas constantly. Yeah.

Yeah, probably, yeah. The more tired I get, probably, maybe I'll get better. You can just completely be the character. Just full severance all of the time, walking into a new job. Yeah.

Who am I today? I don't know. Someone tell me. Who's the character you've played that you most were just like, got lost in? She's not going to remember that. Got lost in? Got lost in the character. You were like, I feel like I'm that person now. Oh, I've never had that. Never had it? No, although when I did The Seagull when I was 21, that's probably the most idealistic version of that I've had because I was 21 and playing Nina and I was like very into it. I loved it. What happens in The Seagull? What's that? It's Chekhov. It's...

tragedy well kind of a tragic comedy i think but um who played the seagull um i would have really convincing fake seagull and mackenzie crook played constantine and kristen scott thomas is in it and that was very i was very into that that's pretty good that's a pretty it was a good cast she was for mackenzie kristen and i was really really absorbed

But that's, yeah. I mean, maestro, I guess. I was very into it. Oh, yeah. But I wasn't, none of it, all of it is like, you know, take the wig off at the end of the day and crack on.

Your dream side dish? Oh, this is so easy. Roasted Brussels sprouts. Like really roasted Brussels sprouts. Why is there an apologetic tone to that when you said it? No, just that my main course was so roasted vegetable based. But I do, they are my favourite thing. If I see a roasted vegetable side, as long as they don't put anything too fancy with it. I just want them really, really roasted. Right. In a nice kind of, you know, soup.

but not too... I don't want bits of fruit in there. Is that too fancy? Well, I don't really like it when they put bacon in there either. They do that a bit where they put in like lardons or... Yeah, they do. Because it's amazing. No, I don't like that. I'll keep it pure. What about loads of parmesan cheese on it? Yeah, I'll take that. Yeah, that's good. My suggestion got in. Yeah. It's delicious. Why parmesan but not bacon? I don't know. I don't want like...

I don't like side meat. You know? Only the meat that I elect to have. But you would be electing to have side meat if you were to have side meat, right? But you want... But what I'm saying is that I don't want... You only want meat on the main. I want, yeah. No side meat. Not even really then. Yeah, we're meat-free so far. We are. Yeah, I'm not a massive meat-user really. Meat-free Mondays. Free fruit Fridays. Let's do one for every day of the week. What's on Tuesday?

now it's hard isn't it yeah I guess Tina Tuna huh Tina Tuna Tuna Tuesdays what do you love a Tina Tuna Tina Tuna Tuesday Tina Tuna oh that's bad oh no you could do that Tina Tuna Tuesdays see that's first try Tina Tuna Tuesday oh shit well I've done it already that was my third try got it on take one that was just for fun doesn't matter now does it well done that's good go on huh take two Tina Tuna Tuesday yeah there you go I'm not doing it again you don't need to you nailed it we're fine yeah

One take. You ever done just one take and then there's gone... We don't need no more. Yeah. That must feel powerful. It does. Yeah. It's taken me 20 years, but I can do it. Can you tell us what was the one take? Because people love watching stuff and nudging their mates. I can't remember a specific situation. But it does, yeah, it does happen sometimes if the force is... Oh, what was I... There was one take...

I can't remember. Bad story. Can't remember. There's one that I was like pretty pleased with myself. Largely because we were at the end of the day running out of time. And it was like, it would be great if this was just one take for everyone involved. You know, so everyone would just go home. And I did it and I was like, that's nice. A director you've not worked with and an actor you've not worked with? A director I've not worked with. Who would be like, dream, dream next project. Wensleydale Wednesdays. Oh, Denis Villeneuve. Yeah. Yeah.

Love him. I had a meeting with him, a general. The generals. Are you, when you go into the generals, are you trying to, are you working extra hard to try and turn it into a... I'm really, I can't, I'm terrified of them because, because... Because that's a meet-in for the listener that's not about anything specific. No, it's just a meet-in so that you can just, and I'm bad at it. And it was years ago. I mean, it was literally probably like 15 years ago or something. And we met and he, and neither of us really knew what to say. And it was unbelievably awkward. And I, I think I fucked it.

Oh no. It's difficult to know what to do in those sorts of meetings, isn't it? What are you supposed to be showing them? Well, also, I was just sort of like, I'd love to be in one of your films. But then it's awkward, isn't it? It's why I like doing this. Because this is like a general. No, it's not. But I can completely geek out with them about their whole filmography and everything. And it's appropriate. Whereas if I have a general with someone and sit down, I can't go, you were in this, you were good in this, this was cool. And I'd do all those things. And then they're like, that person was too much in that general. We can't meet up with her personally.

Yeah. But in this situation, I'm allowed to feel that. You just listed things you liked about his films. Yeah. So you're amazing. He's done a lot of good ones. He was very nice, but I just, yeah. So him, actor, loads of people. Well, obviously loads. Daniel Day-Lewis, obviously. Obviously. Oh, I'd love her. You, Villeneuve and Day-Lewis. Yeah. Together. Yeah. That would be fun. That would be really fun. Day-Lewis isn't taking generals, is he? No.

Oh, he's not taking generals. He's not taking generals. No. He needs specifics at all times. I'd say so. Yeah. There's the story about when he did Gangs of New York and DiCaprio had to go for a walk with him around Central Park. To get the job? To get him to do the film. Oh, to get him to do the film. DiCaprio was already on board and he was sent to go and meet Daniel Day-Lewis.

and have a walk and he's just like they walked in silence for ages and then Daniel was just like stopped by a bench and said shall we sit when they sat down and then yeah he agreed to do it wow chicken thigh Thursdays

That doesn't... I don't know if chicken thigh Thursdays might work. Yeah, but it doesn't sound right, does it? Thick thighs. Thick thigh Thursdays. Thick thigh Thursdays. There you go. Yeah, a couple of bananas straight into thick thigh Thursdays. Okay. Fried fish Fridays. It's free fruit Fridays. Free fruit Fridays. We had that going in. Yeah, that's true. Oh, you're trying to change it now? I've changed it to fried fish Friday. But that's... I mean, fish Fridays. That's classic as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. I think back to the fruit. Yeah, fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit. You're acting like it's silly sod Saturday. Do you think Ed's a silly sod? Yeah.

A little bit. Yeah. Just a touch. A little bit. Fair enough. A little silly sausage. That's my job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Isn't that great? Yeah. Silly sausage, boys. It is great. Isn't it? Good to be idiots. Absolute idiots. Especially on this. Yeah. This is less work than the job we got this from. Yeah. How often do you work on this? Are you counting what's happening now as us working on this? Yeah, this is work. Yeah. This is your job. Well,

Well, we do it as many episodes come out, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I guess average of one hour a week. One hour a week. Who's on your wish list? Streep. Oh, Streep. 100%. Now we've had De Niro. You're aiming really high. He knows no bounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Tumble. Streep's actually my top list. Yeah. After Mr. Tumble, obviously, but Streep's my number one. I should have said that first. Mr. Tumble.

Yeah. 100%. Have you put any offers out to Mr. Tumble? I'm not sure we've gone after Tumble, have we? I think Tumble's pretty deep in character. I don't think he's going to come and break character. But would you not do an in-character Tumble? He'd have to be in character. I don't want to talk to fucking Justin, whatever his name is. Yeah, but...

You want to do an in-character one with Tumble? Yeah. 100%. You should do an in-character one with Tumble. I don't know enough about Tumble. We don't have kids, man. You learn about Tumble when we ask about his food. It would be so sweet. You could just do like a mini-sode with Mr. Tumble and children could listen to it. Yes. Finally, one for the kids. It would be so nice. Because kids can't listen to us talking about fucking Michael Fassbender's massive dick and stuff. They can't listen to any of that. Kids can't.

I can't listen to any of it. But listen to us talking to Mr. Tumble about his food choices. Yeah. Educational. Yeah, so Streep and Tumble. Streep and Tumble. Who else? The Rock has always been up there. Yeah. Top of the list. Top of the list.

Oh, amazing. Fair enough. Catherine O'Hara is amazing. Have you done a film with Adam Sandler? I've done a film with Adam Sandler. I love him. I've done a film with Meryl Streep, very briefly. What film is that? She was... What film is that? Oh my goodness. She was in Suffragette. Very briefly, she played Emily Pankhurst. So we didn't actually... She made a speech that I watched in that. Pankhurst, the OG. That's right. The first woman.

Yeah. Yeah. And Adam Sander is the nicest man on the planet. Adam, first man. There you go. First man, first woman. Yeah. Adam and Pankhurst. And I dare say you've worked with a few snakes. This is a whole new side of you, James. What? Cheeky, the cheeky interviewer. Phil Cheeky, didn't I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very cheeky. Your dream drink.

Coke Zero. Really? Wedge of Lemon. I'd say a controversial choice. I think it's going to kick off in the comments. There's always a big chat about Coke Zero versus Pepsi Max versus Diet Coke. Pepsi Max, no. No? And Diet Coke, no. Why not Diet Coke? Because Diet Coke doesn't taste like Coke. The point of Coke Zero is it tastes like Coke, but it doesn't have all of the thing, calories and all that shit. Look, I don't necessarily disagree with you. I think Coke Zero obviously tastes more like Coke. But Diet Coke is its own thing. Yeah, I don't like it. Okay, fair enough. I don't like it.

I don't drink any of it. Why? Giving up caffeine. You've given up caffeine? Yeah. James has given up everything. Why? Not everything. Yeah, I have. But yeah, caffeine makes me too anxious. Oh, cocaine. Yeah, I'm still doing cocaine. Like a motherfucker. And I am giving up the caffeine, but I'm having decaf coffees and... You can't enormously tell the difference. It just tastes like coffee. No, because I did decaf a lot over pregnancies and...

and yeah I can't it's all about the milk for me really you can tell the difference with the feeling right that you have after you drink it I think it's psychosomatic I think for me I'm like I've had a coffee yeah but really you get the buzz you still get the buzz from a decaf I don't know if I get like a buzz from any coffee yeah I was never going after the buzz the buzz I was getting was back I'm just going for the yumminess and I can get that from decafs I'm straight buzz how many coffees do you have in the morning I'll do I've got like a pod machine yeah three pods in a cup

three pods right up to the top not diluting it smashing that down I'm bouncing around the house at that point I'm like a fly stuck in the house yeah and then I'll probably have another two podder and then I'm ready to go no more coffee for the rest of the day unless I come to do off menu and then Benito makes a pot of coffee right but that's always very weak so it's not a problem wow

I'll get out. Just destroyed him out of nowhere. Yeah. You make a weak coffee. Certainly compared to mine. We have three pods. Yeah, three pods. Yeah, he's got three pods. Off menu, Taskmaster, and the Bob and Matthew Cosby. Yeah.

That's true, actually. Well done. Yeah, there you go. I know what pods you do. You know, Benito started something called Project Podcast for himself. He's doing a thing called Project Podcast where he listens to loads of different podcasts. His job is a podcast producer. And now he's doing something that he's called Project Podcast for himself where he listens to podcasts. What, and does a podcast about it? No, he's just listening to it in his spare time. He should start a podcast about it, finally. It's a thing that he's doing in his spare time. I listen to podcasts. Yes, but like...

Have you set it up as a project? You don't work in podcasts. So if you were to decide that you want to listen to loads of podcasts, it'd be fine for you to call it project podcast because you're trying to introduce yourself to podcasts. But if you work in it and your job is to make them, it's a bit disconcerting when you work with that person and they're saying, I'm getting into podcasts.

If you came in here and said you started something called Project Film, where you're watching a film every week, we'd think that was pretty weird. I watch a film every six months. I'm really bad at watching films. What's the last film you watched that you weren't in? Wow. Leave all this pause in because the listeners can know. I'm just trying to think. Oh.

Oh, Wicked. I went to my children to see Wicked. No, I didn't actually. That's such a lie. I went to Wicked on my own. And Marcus took the kids to see Wicked because I wanted to experience it without my children. Yeah, fair enough. So I don't want to be sitting there thinking like, is this scary or is this boring to them? So I went on with my friends. I then took them separately to see it, to be fair. But I wanted the first time because I was very excited. And I loved it.

So the drink is a Coke Zero. I know. And you've got the wedge of lemon in there. Yeah. Do you ever, if you've got a can of drink and no glass, but there's lemon wedges available, do you try and get it in the can? I have. Yeah, but not in a restaurant. Not in a restaurant? I don't think so. But no. There's normally a glass at a restaurant, isn't there? No one's just bringing you a can. I love getting it in the can. Getting in the can. Like getting it through the hole in the can. Like you do when you're putting it in a beer or like when you put a lime in it or whatever. Yeah. I don't know if this is... Just getting it in...

Because if it gets messy, it's even better. But also the size of the wedge we're talking about. It's never going in a can. It's never going in there. This is true. Not the wedges that you like. Holy Christmas. Yeah, you're not getting those in the can. Unless it's a massive can. But you want a standard size can. I would like a standard size can. Massive wedge. I don't really want the can on the table. Is that okay? You don't want to see the can? I don't think so. I've heard this about you. It's gone. It's fucking gone. I want someone to just come and top it up. She's very agreeable. We hope that if she sees a can, she's going to leave.

And I see none here, so we're fine. No, we had to scold Benito beforehand. Your people are hanging. Yeah. So, you just started using LinkedIn Premium. Now what? Well, on your Premium company page, you noticed around seven and a half times more page engagement and five times more page views. Well done. And now, new clients are messaging you.

All because you're using LinkedIn Premium, which helps you get the business growth you want. Think big, small business. Think big. Start your free trial at LinkedIn.com slash premium small business. That's LinkedIn.com slash premium small business. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Real talk. If there's one store that I absolutely love walking around, it's Sephora. It's my total guilty pleasure. They have amazing brands that other people don't have, and I find something great every time I walk in. And there's...

literally one down the street from me so I do that a lot. It's so fun to shop in the store and online and the products are just too good. No regrets ever. For example one of my favorite beauty brands is Makeup by Mario who just launched his new lip gloss that I absolutely love. So the next time you're in the market for great beauty shop all the hottest products and brands only at Sephora. We arrive at your dream dessert. Okay. Very exciting. Can you remember what it is?

I've had a good think. I think it's somewhere in like kind of school dinner pudding area. So let's imagine we're going into the school dinners. Okay. What's laid out there? What are you seeing? It's something that I pour custard on. So we've got the custard. And it's maybe got treacle in it.

Is it like a treacle sponge? Yeah, like a sponge. Is it a treacle sponge? Yeah, but you know when they make them in the big metal huge tin and you just hope that you're going to get the good wedge and not the corner wedge or an edge wedge. Whoa, whoa. What do you mean, not the corner? Yeah, that's a big play. Some people I think would like the corner. Clearly, Mr Acaster. Well, the treacle will gather in the corner. Thank you. I will give you that. But you're not going to get the biggest wedge from the corner because it'll dip down towards the edge of the baking tray. Oh, because there's that little bit there. Yeah, the bit at the edge. So you're going to get more treacle, but you're

you're going to get a less substantial wedge. And we know that you like a substantial wedge. I do. This is very much the theme of the whole menu. It's across the board with my menu. But yeah, so I'd go for that. I'd go like a school dinner's treacle sponge with hot custard. Yeah.

If we would say this is the dream restaurant, so you can have as big a wedge as you like, but it could be the corner wedge. How are you feeling about that? I feel good about that. Yeah. Yeah. You could go for a massive corner wedge. Yeah, because I do want the extra treacle. Yeah. Gathered like pools in the corner. I wasn't supposed to have school lunches because I had packed lunches. Okay. But I used to sneak into school lunch. Just for all of it or for just pudding? No, for all of it. For all of it. Big fat boy. Big fat boy. Used to eat my packed lunch at morning break. Oh, that's...

But you were very sporty, weren't you? Not me, no. Not you? No. Generally, yeah. It was a sporty school? Yeah. Okay. I was going to say, lots of running around. I was in the B team or C team for everything. Oh, me too, actually. I was in the C team for everything. And I only got on the rugby B team because big fat boy. They need that. They need that. I was a wall. I was just a wall of man. Standstill. Yeah. Pardon you, man.

Thank you. You've got the hot custard on there. We had Jamie Tartt on this podcast once and he calls hot custard hot cookie. How do you feel about that? Good. There's a link to you and Jamie Tartt, so it's fine. Is there? Yeah.

Yeah. James, firstly, let's see if you remember the name of the actor. Jamie Tartt. Yes. There is a link, but... Phil Dunster. Phil Dunster. Oh, yeah. From Ted Lasso. And Marcus did the music for Ted Lasso. Skip intro. Skip intro straight away. Do you press the skip intro? Yeah. Yeah.

What do you think of hot cuckie as a term that him and his entire family use? No. No offence to the family, though. I think it's full offence to the family. How did it become hot cuckie? I don't know. How does he start calling it that, apparently? He thought it was like a normal thing. Yeah. But you get those things in your family, don't you, where people start calling things weird things. Not hot cuckie, though. Do you have anything from your family that you call weird things? Well, just because of the children, sausages became Usus. Usus? Yes.

Why? Just because one of them couldn't say it. It's where all nicknames come from. They can't say it, so they make up their own thing. Maybe that's where cocky came from. I can't remember. Custard, yeah. Sounds like a child was like... Cocky. Yeah, every family's got something like that. Where a kid can't talk. Not me. You don't have one where a parent's name could... Perfect diction. Perfect diction when I was a kid.

I did. That's why you have a podcast. That's true, but really bad bowel control. I've told you this. What? My mum said I had speech way ahead of my time, but bad toilet habits, so I could stand at the bottom of the garden and say, Mother, I appear to have done a poo in my pants. Still the case now. Still the case now. You can articulate that. Sorry about that. Lowbrow.

I don't want to bring the podcast down. Well, then we do start off with my poor diction and we've ended the podcast on Ed's. With very poor diction. Perfect diction. Well, perfect diction to be fair. Yeah, the end. That's good. And Fassbender's diction. I'd admit that as well. Poor Michael. Yes. Poor Michael. We can't do poor Michael for having a big wanger, can we? You're out of the conversation and that's fine. I'm out of the conversation. Poor Kerry for having

I haven't weighed in at all on any of it. Yeah, yeah, no, no. There's no quotes available for this. I imagine you had this enough on the Shane Press Tour. I didn't do any press for Shane because I was filming The Great Gatsby and I couldn't, I was in Sydney so I did nothing. That's good. Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann. Wear sunscreen. He does. That's good.

I should hope so. If he didn't, I'd be like, you are a hypocrite. Yeah, completely hypocrite. I'd go up to him and say, you are a hypocrite. Yeah. You shouldn't have given all the people that advice in 1999. You should be ashamed of yourself, Baz Luhrmann. Yeah, you should get him in here and tell him. Happily, I'd school him on it. I'd be like, right, these are all the things you told me when I was 14. How many of them have you done? That I should do. How many have you actually done in it?

Although it wasn't him. It wasn't him. Yeah. Someone else. But he wrote the words. I think it was someone else who gave a university, like an address that a university did a speech. And then he took that. And he made it into a thing. And put it to someone's music. Yeah. And there's music isn't him either. It's a rapper. So what did he do? Produced it.

So you've... I was telling my Leonardo DiCaprio story earlier, which didn't even happen to me. You must have been sitting there going... What Leonardo DiCaprio? Oh, the Central Park thing. I'm doing that. You're sitting there. I bet you had loads of DiCaprio stories up your sleeve. Why DiCaprio stories? Yeah, they're all great. He's the best. I mean, no, like, juicy... Nothing juicy. He's just like...

really, really professional good actor. We're never looking for juicy stuff. We're never digging for the juice, are we? No, no, no. I wasn't implying that you were. I was trying to think of like a, oh, that's good. And then I was like, oh, well, a nice thing is that we did a very dramatic scene, you know, and there was lots of crying and sort of shouting towards the end of the film. And we

his coverage first for whatever reason, for light or whatever. And then we turned around on me and he was like almost better when the camera was on me. And I thought that was really solid from Leonardo DiCaprio because he could have kind of, you know, some people sort of phone it in when the camera's on. Yeah.

Or go home. Some people go home. People have been known to go home. People have been known to act with tennis balls. But he was like trying so hard. He was like practically better on my side, which I thought was really generous and solid. And he was like that the whole time. But particularly with that scene, I remember thinking like, oh my goodness, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Any other books you'd like to star in the film on? Can I talk about a book? Yeah. Only because my brother wrote one. Okay. Tim came to the book launch last night. My brother wrote a book called The Accidental Soldier. It's coming out tomorrow. It might not be tomorrow when this comes out, but it's coming out on April 10th. It definitely won't be tomorrow when this comes out. It's coming out. It'll be out. This guy's not turning it around. He's got Project Pog.

house on the go he's not editing this and getting it out my brother's written a book but the only reason not the only reason I'm very proud of him but he's giving all of the money to War Child which is a charity that I've been an ambassador for for 10 years it's amazing looks after children in conflict zones and it's very very funny it's about him going to Iraq

when he was about 23. What's your brother's name? Owen Mulligan. Owen Mulligan. The accidental soldier. So treacle pudding. Treacle pudding. Hot custard. Hot custard. Hot cookie. Oh, and my peanut butter date. That's when this is now. At the end. It comes right at the end. With the bell.

yeah do you want like a hot drink with that as well like a coffee i'd always like a peppermint tea with honey fresh mint tea with honey because then you can just sit and chat for ages and just work your way through a massive pot i did that last night did you yeah who with my brother's book launch was last night and then afterwards i went for dinner with all of my friends who i had wrangled to come to the book launch flick flick it's not there flicks on holiday with marcus and sam and the

No, it was my two best friends from school, my sister-in-law and my friend.

My friend who works for Warchild. Oh, one thing I got asked before. What's the island that you're on in the film? In Wallace Island? Not an island. Fake island. Oh, busted. Sorry. Movie magic. Contact the tabloids, Benito. Well, the island that they shoot from like the drone shot, there is an island. Yeah. We're not filming on that. But that I think is, oh my gosh, it's like just off the coast of Tembi. But the rest of it is constructed to feel like an island. Very clever. Thought me. I thought it was an island. Isn't it?

Isn't it so pretty? So pretty. But I saw The Sea and I was like, I bet that goes all the way around. Oh, yeah. Turns out no. Movie magic. Yeah. It doesn't. It was doing a great job acting. I got completely lost in it. I thought it was an island. Yeah. I forgot that it wasn't an island. Yeah. Nomination for The Sea. Yeah. The Oscars. Yeah.

If you guys do your job correctly. Yeah, it's up to us to get the nomination. It kind of is up to you. You are starting the awards campaign early. We've done well. We've had a few people come on this podcast and then get nominated for Oscars. Yeah, we have actually. Mescal, we helped him out. With what? With After Sun. Oh, you did help him out. Yeah, yeah. Because that was a very small film. That was us. We did that. Well done. We...

There's someone else recently on the, Sebastian Stan helped him out with the apprentice. he's amazing in that film. Because of this. Well done. Yeah, he's opposite, you had to act opposite half a cow. This,

It's a fucking back end of a cow for the whole film. It's an uphill battle. You've been nominated before? I have. Right. I'll figure this out. This is one of Benita's least favourite things is James doing guessing games. Figuring out what I've been nominated for. Well, it's so late in the day for me to do a guessing game as well. So he's going to really hate it. Maestro. Yeah. I think it's such a big... I got it first time. No, I've been nominated for... Three times. I think it's such a big swing to ask an actor. You've been nominated for an Oscar? Yeah. Because he's...

You don't know how they feel about it? I think we've been chatting long enough now that I don't think Kerry cares either way. But I think it's obviously nice, but if you hadn't been, you wouldn't be like, oh, don't bring that up. No, yeah, I know. Maestro. So I got that one straight away so you can suck it.

I didn't think you wouldn't get them. I thought you'd know this anyway. I'm surprised you asked the question. The other ones. Now, I should be able to get these. I should be able to get them. Doctor Who. Should have been, right? Yeah. He was saying earlier, best episode, Doctor Who. Thank you. It is. No competition. Thank you. It's incredible. Weeping Angels. Have you seen it? No, I don't watch Doctor Who, even though it seems like I should. Was that a long time ago? Yeah, yeah. I won't do all the films because we're going to want to wrap up.

I think I could definitely, I think if I thought about it, I'd get it. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. If other people want to guess, by the way, they should tweet the Great Benito, and if you get all of the films right, you win a signed chopping board. Yes, and you're allowed to check on IMDB if you want and things like that, but just tweet Benito the three films that Kerry's been nominated for for Oscars, and then he will send you a signed chopping board. Hashtag HeyGreatBenito, these are the Oscaritos. These are the Oscaritos.

It's very important. Sparkling water with a wedge of lemon. Poppins of bread. Warm brown bread with special butters and olive oil and balsamic and roasted garlic. Starter. Flick slash Delia's halloumi with lime and capers. Main course. Burnt vegetables. Side dish. Roasted Brussels sprouts. Drink Coke Zero with a wedge of lemon. Dessert. Big...

No, not Corner Wedge. Yeah, Big Corner Wedge. If it can be big enough. Big Corner Wedge. You've got to listen to the answers, man. That's just basic interview. Well, I'm just too busy thinking about filmographies and stuff. Yeah, yeah. You're still worrying about the other nominations, aren't you? Really, in my head. How the fuck am I not getting these? I'm going to continue this afterwards. I'm not going to be very chatty after this episode because I'm going to be thinking about the other nominations. Big Corner Wedge of School Dinner, Treacle Sponge with Hot Custard,

and a peanut butter date to follow with fresh mint tea with honey. Beautiful. That's it. The bit I'm most excited about, I think, is the Petit Four. The Petit Four, the date and peanut butter. Yeah. So if your gym had put out dates with peanut butter, would you have partook? Yeah, they would have got me. There you go. They would have got me there if I'd done that.

if I'd done that now they'll know I'm suspicious of this date thing go on just leaving out uncovered dates in the gym as well I'm not touching those no all the sweaty lads sweaty yeah well there's I've never seen only a few of the dates there's a lot so I think people most people are thinking the same thing yeah but free fruit Fridays those bowls are going down individually yeah

People are going after those. Bananas are safest bet there. Yeah, bananas, safest bet. I think they're the first to go. I usually go around the time of day where there's just apples and pears left. Yeah. That's a good way to get fit. Go up and down those. Yeah, apples and pears. The apples and pears master. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pointing at me when you think you've got a good joke. Oh!

And then pears at the end of the day. But I've had a pear after a workout once and it felt weird. Thank you very much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Gary. Thank you, Gary. Thanks, guys.

There we are, James. Lovely menu, lovely chat. Yeah. Afterwards, Kerry helped me get them. Yeah, you couldn't guess the other two that should be nominated for. An Education, which is an early film. I've got to say, I'm really surprised you didn't know that. I didn't know Promising Young Woman. Because you love knowing stuff about the Oscars. I love knowing stuff about the Oscars. I was so excited that it was like, okay, got an actual Oscar nominee here saying three films. You love nominations. Go.

Love nominations. You're always doing it. Yeah. I only like the nominations. Yeah. Allergic to the win. Kerry told me the

the films and she also did not say mozzarella bag water no even during the podcast or after she didn't mention mozzarella bag water no point so that was good thank you carrie um thank you so much for coming on everyone's watched the ballad of wallace island yes which is out 30th of may yes oh and i need to remember to get the video of oliver and bring it in next time benito and you can digitalize it so we can send it to carrie mulligan and then you could be an oscar nominee yeah

It's very, very good. Genuinely, do go and see it. Yes. If you're a fan of any of those people involved, you should go and see it. Yeah. Quite a few laugh out loud moments, I'd say. And cry out quiet moments. Some emotional stuff. Yeah. Cry out quiet. Cry out quiet. Hey, if you live in Australia, I'm touring in

in June go to edgamble.co.uk if you live in for example Melbourne, Sydney Perth, Brisbane or if you live in New Zealand hey if you live in Christchurch or Auckland or Wellington those are actually the first ones I'm doing starting in New Zealand come see me in June edgamble.co.uk what a lovely afternoon we've had Ed nice afternoon I've got a bit of a headache I'll be honest with you oh dear yeah Benito's got to have some painkillers knocking around the office I've only recently been ill have you? yeah and I've hurt my foot how do you hurt your foot?

Box jumps. Well, there you go. I've really hurt my toe. Really? So now I can't work out. You stub it? I can't work it out. At the time, the main issue was my shins because I smashed my shins into the side of the box. My God. So I'll show them to you later. But the issue now is the toe. And I think I re-sprained it when I was having lunch yesterday. Even with your feet? What were you doing? No, I was sort of flexing it because it felt like it was getting better and then I think I re-sprained it. You flexed it so hard that you re-sprained it again. I was a bit pissed at that point as well. So I think I just sprained it too hard.

I see. Having lunch. At the Devonshire. At the Devonshire. Yeah. With your friends. With my dad, my uncle and my brother. That's when it gets rowdy. The boys. Yeah, yeah. That's a rowdy lunch. You sprain in your toe there. Hear this. Hear me out here. Yeah. At the end, we went for drinks after we met my step-mom and went for more drinks and I thought it'd be sensible to not have loads more wine. Yes. So I just had whiskeys instead. Okay.

How did that go? Well, I feel I've got a headache now. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now you feel quite bad. It was delicious. And I do. Whiskey is one of the only things that I will drink slowly. Yeah. But I still had like four. And then he's like straight whiskeys. Yeah. Yeah. Bourbons, Woodford Reserve. But lovely evening. Really nice. It was daytime. Yeah. It was daytime. It was lunch. I was home by 730. Smashed. Yeah.

I mean, getting into my bourbon. I used to be into my bourbon, but I'm back into my bourbon now. I started watching a new YouTuber and I'm sure it'll come up on a podcast in the future. Oh, that's exciting. A little teaser for the listener. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I started watching a podcast called Hawk vs. Wolf on YouTube. Yes. And I recommended it to Benito because he's doing project podcast. Yeah. And he did not get on with it and thought I was pranking him. And in a way I was because I knew it was so up my street. I love hearing skaters talk about skating, but I knew Benito would have no interest in it. But I knew from you telling me what it was that Benito wouldn't like it. Yeah, yeah. You said I'm listening to Hawk vs. Wolf, which is two skaters talking to each other about skating. At what point did Benito think,

I'll put that next on the list for Project Podcast. Well, he's so committed to Project Podcast that he's just glad to hear another podcast. He's like, right, great. I can add that to the list and do another one. So he's just blind to the fact that he's not going to enjoy it. Whereas I'm like, I know what I'm setting him up for. And his commitment to Project Podcast means he's going to listen to this. Well, thank you very much to Kerry. That about does it. Oh, okay. Well, thank you very much to Kerry for coming into the Dream Restaurant. We'll see you again sometime soon. Bye-bye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

This is Paige, the co-host of Giggly Squad. I use Uber Eats for everything and I feel like people forget that you can truly order anything, especially living in New York City. It's why I love it. You can get Chinese food at any time of night, but it's not just for food. I order from CVS all the time. I'm always ordering from the grocery store. If a friend stops over, I have to order champagne.

I also have this thing that whenever I travel, if I'm ever in a hotel room, I never feel like I'm missing something because I'll just...

Uber Eats it. The amount of times I've had to Uber Eats hair items like hairspray, deodorant, you name it, I've ordered it on Uber Eats. You can get grocery, alcohol, everyday essentials in addition to restaurants and food you love. So in other words, get almost anything with Uber Eats. Order now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.

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Hello there Off Menu listeners. It's me Amy Gledhill and you might remember me from my episode of Off Menu when I chose to have seaweed on mash and I'll be taking no further questions. And my name is Ian Smith and you may remember me from the one line of dialogue I had in a non-broadcast Channel 4 pilot. Maybe you were in the studio audience at the time. Who can forget? But that's not what we're here to talk about. No, nor the news. Our podcast is coming back

for series four. And don't worry, it's not a boring news podcast. No way. We're two northerners living in London and every week we catch up on the weirdest, most bizarre local news from up north. Things like... Woman in tears after spotting spitting image of dead dog in bath mat. Pure evil blackbird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children. And we're joined by special correspondents every week like...

you one and only Ed Gamble who you might have heard of. You'll remember him from this podcast the one you're listening to now. Yeah. He hosts it. Yeah. Co-host. He was on my episode of Off Menu. Was he? Yeah, yeah. I think he was in the non-broadcast Channel 4 pilot I did as well. Oh, he will have been. He's a nice guy. That's Northern News out every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.