John Fanta Talking Final Four, NFL Coach's Picture And Tush Push Being Banned, The Yankees Might Be Cheating, Impractical Jokers Down Bad + Monday Reading
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On today's part of my take, we have our good friend John Fanta on talking Final Four. We are set. Maybe not the best weekend of hoops. Couple great games, but we are ready for San Antonio. We have all four number one seeds heading there. We are going to break down anything else we missed on the weekend. A little more baseball. Yankees maybe using illegal bats. We had a brawl in the NBA. Yeah.

A brawl, it was pretty sick. We're going to break that down. We have who's back of the week. And then we have a Monday reading.

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Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Sign up now with code TAKE and start playing to get up to $1,000 in casino credits back with a minimum $5 net loss only on DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Today is Monday, March 31st, and we have our final four, and it's as chalky as chalk could get. All four number one seeds are heading to San Antonio.

Is college basketball broken, PFD? Big kid, I was going to say, is college basketball a Ponzi scheme? Because the tournament starts. Just wait. Not great matchups. Round of 32 is going to be great. Round of 32 is not great. Just wait. Sweet 16. Sweet 16 happens. Oh, that sucked, but just wait. This is the best Elite Eight you've ever seen. The Elite Eight sucks.

But just wait. The Final Four. We're kicking the can down the road. We're going to have a bad Final Four and then the greatest championship game of all time. And then nobody will remember the tournament. They'll just remember the championship game. And they'll be like, college basketball is so bad. Correct. I mean, people are watching. The games haven't been great. The Florida game, that was... We had two great games over the weekend. We had the Houston-Purdue game, which was great. If you miss it on Friday night...

The blob that Kelvin Sampson drew up to beat Purdue with two seconds left was erotic, as our friend says. It was an incredible play. Purdue also kind of got screwed because it was an offensive foul on the possession before. Say something nice about Purdue. They were in that game, and I think everyone thought Purdue was going to get smoked and outmanned by Houston, and they were every second of the way in that game.

And then we had the Florida-Texas Tech game on Saturday, which was phenomenal. That was great. Yeah, and the Purdue-Houston game, the end of that, I stuck around on the channel. I watched the postgame. Oh, yeah. I wanted to see Jay Wright and Candace Barker argue for two hours about that play.

Yeah. Just breaking down that play as granularly as you possibly can because it was awesome. Sexiest blob I've ever seen. It was a super sexy blob. Yeah. Yeah, but the game's not great. The Florida one was crazy and chaotic at the end. Clayton, he seems like he can check out of the game and then come back and just make a shot on a whim. Yeah. People were saying it was Curry-like. Yeah.

Curry would have swished it. That's the difference. It was an ugly make. It was an ugly make, but the Curry-like play that he had was when he was basically, he drove the lane and then he was standing, I don't know, eight feet from the basket and then slowly backpedaled while no one really closed out with urgency. He's like, all right, I'm here now. Shoot three, hit it. Down two. Yeah. He did that down two. Yeah, and that was...

And ultimate, you got to make your free throws game because Texas Tech had that game. They had that game won. They were up nine points with three minutes left.

and they missed two front ends of one-and-ones, and both of them go directly to Florida threes. That's how you bring back. They literally went front end miss three, front end miss three, and then Walter Clayton hitting a three to take the lead. I have a question for you, Big Cat. If we're doing Cinderella power rankings of these final four teams, of the four one seeds, who's the most Cinderella? Houston. Houston, I agree with you. Easy. Houston won.

then I had Florida too. I think Auburn's too. I mean, you think Auburn's too. Auburn was ranked number one for most of the season. Of course. I know that. I'm saying because they've never won a national title. They don't have any legacy in basketball outside of Charles Barkley and obviously what Bruce Pearl's done. I think they would be the second Cinderella. Florida still has back-to-back national titles. Actually, more I think about, I might have Duke number three in my Cinderella power rankings.

Duke might be the third Cinderella. I don't think they can. I think that's taking a little too far. I have some thoughts on Duke that I'd like to share, but I think you can't say that. Houston is definitely the number one, though. We both agree on that. I find myself rooting for Houston because they've been so close so many times in the past, and they've been the most snake-bitten team in the past. It's always been a big injury. Was it Shed last year? Yep. Shed with that ankle injury last year. That was tough because that team looked like they could have competed. Mm-hmm.

No, they would have beaten Duke. This team is fucking awesome to watch. I feel like they could possibly frustrate Duke. It's men versus boys. Yeah. It could be men versus boys because Duke does have three incredible freshmen, but Houston has men. Yeah, so the Duke thing. I've been struggling with this. I'm basically landed on the fact that I think my hate for Duke is now just the fact that I don't hate this Duke team. Like, do something to make me hate you. Like, I'm...

I hate that I don't hate them. You know what the issue is? That's what's making me mad. All right, here's what I think the issue is. Knipple. Knipple should be the guy that you hate on the Stuk team. Yeah. But because Flag's better than him and Flag is a bigger part of their offense...

He takes away some of the hate ability that Knipple would have if he was the main guy that you could focus your attention on. Yeah. Right? Like, he is drawn up in a lab where you're like, this is the guy that I fucking hate too. And he's from Wisconsin and normally I would hate a guy who went from Wisconsin somewhere out of state to...

to play basketball, but he's too good for the Badgers. So it's like I can't even be mad about it because we would never get him anyway. And the way that they have it is like Cooper Flagg is their main guy. I like watching Cooper Flagg play, so I don't hate him. And then with Knipple as a second guy, he's not hateable because he's a second guy, so I end up actually liking Knipple, a guy that I would have hated if he was the guy. And John Shire is just a really good coach. Yeah. And that's the part that like he –

listening to Nate Oates' press conference after the game, he had Nate Oates in hell. He was basically like, we had no chance. They just had a counter move to all of our moves. Our guys looked, I mean, Mark Sears looked so short. No offense to Mark Sears. But yeah, so I think I'm landed in

I'm just going to hate Duke for the fact that I don't hate them naturally. You know what we need? So I'm just mad that they're not doing something to piss me off. Here's what America needs. In this week, between the Elite Eight and the Final Four, we need Jay Billis to get on TV and say something so insufferable. We might have him on the show. We might have to have him on the show. Have him on the show so that we can give us... Just say something that will make...

That will remind America why we should hate Duke. We should do that. We should do that on Wednesday. We should just have Jay Billis on and just be like... Talk until we hate you. Yeah, just say things that make us hate you. Say things that will make us mad. Talk about your... Yeah, talk about your... He did actually make me a little... He did actually make me a little mad today because the Kevin Willard thing, which we'll get into. Have you noticed that there are some analysts across the country that are still doing the argument from like five years ago where they're like...

See coaches can leave. See a coach can leave, but a player... Players can leave anytime they want now. They don't even have to play. They can just get their NIL money and not play. You're high-stepping from the 20-yard line on a race you already won. Yeah, right. We agree that players should be allowed to transfer. They can. Yeah. Just like coaches. It's just a knee-jerk reaction. They're reminding everybody that they were right. Yeah, right. Exactly. We were right, but we don't feel the need to remind everybody of why we were right. All right, so we've got to have Jay Billis on. It's a problem for me because I do not like Duke as an institution. I don't like their fans.

But the team as it's constituted, I'm being genuinely – I'm genuinely saying I don't like have hate for them and I don't have hate for John Shire. I think I just had so much hate for Coach K that –

So I think I just hate the fact that I don't hate them. This is why the Yankees are doing a great job right now of stepping into this void and reminding us why we should all hate them. Yeah, yeah. It's just not enough. I need more hate. I need more hate to go that way. But yeah, so Duke killed Alabama. Because I do think that this could be, if you look at the history of Duke basketball, it's interesting because the team right now as they stand is

Like in Ken Palm and those type ratings, they're, I think, the second best Duke team of all time. So Ken Palm ratings, they go back to 96, 97. So we don't get the Leitner back-to-back years. But according to Ken Palm, there's the 10 best teams since 1996, 97. Four of them.

are in this final four all four of them are in this final four so ten four out of the top ten teams best ten teams in the last 30 years of college basketball it's crazy and I think Duke's number so this year's Duke is number two only to the 98 99 Duke team the J Williams team that did lose no the one yeah no no that one was a year after they lost Elton which year did they lose to Arizona

They beat Arizona. They beat Arizona. They lost in 98, I think, to Arkansas. No, to UConn, maybe. To UConn? Oh, they lost in like 94 to UConn? No. I mean to Arkansas? Yeah.

I can't remember. Yeah, that's when Bill Clinton was at the game. Yeah. Okay, but keep going. What were you saying? No, I was just going to say that if this Duke team wins, they will be looked at as one of the best Duke teams of all time. Corey Maggette. Yeah. 2000-2001 was the third. So it's all three of these teams on the Ken Palm, the best teams in the last 30 years. The top three are Duke teams. What was it? That's making me hate them more. Yeah, see? Thank you for saying that.

The 2001 team. That was the Jay Williams, Shane Battier, Mike Dunleavy. They beat Arizona. They beat Arizona. And then the best team on this list, 98-99. I feel like they lost. They did. Yeah. Who did they lose to? To UConn? I think to UConn. Yeah. That's our quick. We got to just Jay Billis. That's a good call. We just got to get Jay Billis on here. That was Corey Maggette. We got to fucking. Yeah, they lost to UConn. Yeah, and Arizona won in between. Yeah.

Jay Williams. Credit to him. Great bracket, dude. Perfect bracket. Great bracket. I love it. Great bracket. Nailed it. It's the best-looking Final Four. No name-calling. Yeah, it is the best-looking Final Four. It's a great final. It's a perfect bracket if you're a pussy. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't take any risks.

There's so many people who walk around with just perfect brackets. I know. It's so right. Did you see there's a woman out there who has a perfect bracket in the women's bracket? I know it's less variance, but still. That's still very impressive. Insane. They're in the Final Four now. All right. So, yeah. Duke killed Alabama. Duke's the best team in the country. It was clinical what they did to Alabama. The Texas Tech-Florida game was great. Walter Clayton, I love watching him play.

And then today, Houston, Tennessee was over in the first four minutes. And they just suffocated Tennessee. Tennessee has still never been to a Final Four. Another great year for Rick Barnes, but came up short. And I don't know what...

Like, today was the day where, like, Houston was just going to win that game every single time they played. Yeah, so they were used to having Chaz Lanier get, like, a little bit of daylight on their three-pointers and get into rhythm, and they got no rhythm. It was just suffocating defense the entire time from Houston. They couldn't get anything in the paint. It was, yeah, what was the score like?

22-5 at one point. I think halftime was, what, 34-15 or something? Yeah, it was ugly. It was ugly early. And then, yeah, what does Tennessee do? Because they're a good basketball team. Tennessee is consistently, under Rick Barnes, a very good basketball team. They've never been to a Final Four. They used to have the NIT banners hanging up

inside their basketball stadium. I think they took those down. But do they have Elite Eight banners hanging up? Or is there just nothing reminding them of their basketball team? I don't know. It sucks for them because they've been a very consistently good basketball team for this stretch here, specifically the last three to four years, and they can't get over the hump. And unfortunately for them...

It's like if you're going to win a national title, unless you're a UConn of the last two years, you're going to have to win a game that you might not be favored or a game that you might not have your best stuff, and it just keeps happening. Yeah, they got Purdue last year, and then it's just like that's the one year with the Zach Eaddy whistles. Yeah, and then the Michigan State-Auburn game was so frustrating to watch because it felt like watching that game, Auburn was better, but Michigan State-Auburn

I feel like had 10 to 15 chances to hit one big shot to put real game pressure on Auburn, and they just never could hit a big shot. Yeah, they just couldn't hit it from the outside. And when they tried to go in the lane, they were getting swatted. Yeah, but it was like, didn't you guys have the same feeling that it was just teetering on that edge the entire time where it was like,

a nine-point game, a ten-point game. If Michigan State could hit one three and a stop or one big dunk and then a three, we'd have a real game. They were just missing layups. Yeah, we just couldn't get to it. They could not get over that initial hump to then put on actual game pressure on Auburn. And Auburn, I mean, they finished the regular season poorly, but they were the number one seed and they had an incredible regular season and they're awesome again.

Yeah, and Janiro Broome coming back in the game after, it looked like he fucked up his elbow bad. It was one of those things where he was on the ground and he was just looking at his elbow like there was something wrong with it that didn't hurt, but that he knew was like fucked up. He goes in the locker room after telling his mom like, I'm done. And then the x-ray comes back in and then he proceeds to play the end of the game with one arm. Yeah. And he's still pretty good. He's still like blocking shots and getting rebounds. Yeah.

He's a stud. He's also a man. That would be your only thing if you're rooting against Duke. Will it matter if they end up having to play against men? Yeah. Probably not. Cooper Flagg, he's a boy, but he's a man. If I was Cooper Flagg, I would sit out. Yeah. And don't get hurt. You're going to be playing against grown-ass men. Sit out and then just wait to enter the NBA draft and make your money. It's going to be a great Final Four. It better be a great Final Four. It has.

Has to be. Has to be, Hank. The game owes it to us. Hank, what are your thoughts on the weekend? NIL ruined college basketball. I don't want to be a hater, but it... No, we need that. Listen, I've been of the mindset that I'm not going to... I think what happens a lot of times when these things happen is the people who don't like college basketball are usually the loudest to be like,

It's over. It's broken. Because they didn't like it in the first place. Or they only liked the tournament. You know what I mean? They show up for the tournament. So there'll be some talking heads who'll be like, there's a major problem in college basketball. And then there's some people who, on the other side, will say...

There's no problem. It's just an anomalous year. I think there could be a problem, but I would like to see more. That's where I stand. I just want madness. Yeah, no. I don't care if the games are good. I wouldn't care. No, I want good games. The very clear issue has been if you're not making your three-pointers. Yeah. If you don't make your three-pointers, you're going to lose. And not only are you going to lose, but you're going to get the shit kicked out of you. That's what we saw in several games in the Elite Eight. It is very funny when we're watching these games and we have an NBA game on as well and just every shot goes in.

Yeah. When you watch the NBA, it's like anytime anyone has a little bit of daylight from three, it's a swish. And then you're watching Michigan State. I think they had a possession. I think they had a 60-second stretch today where they were like 0 for 6 from three. It was unreal. Yeah, what, 15 points in the first half from Tennessee? Yeah. And then on Thursday night, the Indiana Pacers scored 162 points against the Wizards and took shot clock violations intentionally in the last three possessions. It was a different sport. Yeah, different sport. Hank, how would you fix college basketball?

I mean, it's tough. It's one of those things where I believe that players should get paid. I don't want to sound like an old man yelling at clouds, but I think they've went about it. They kind of said, okay, players should get paid and then just turn to a free-for-all. There's no guardrails. Yeah, just turn to a free-for-all, which has hurt. And the Amir Khan thing, it's a great, fun story.

But he made $100K, and now for next year, that was the biggest story of the tournament. Next year, there's going to be a million student managers trying to go viral so they can make money. But that's not what NIL is for. And then when they show the graphic of, I think it was five years ago, the Final Four roster and where they started their college career, there was maybe one or two or three transfers. Now you look at it, and the players from this year were on completely different teams last year.

There's no continuity. But I don't. The answer is continuity and not transferring. And no viral student managers. And fuck Amir Khan. That's the main one. No, it's just like that. That was the first one he said. Yeah, it's just that. It seems like your whole thing was just pretty much just Amir Khan.

We'll see next year. I think I like Amir Khan, but I think it's going to spawn a million spinoffs. And that's not what it's called basketball. Make sure to follow Sister Jean on TikTok. Right. So I agreed with you on the transfer thing. They have to figure it out.

Multi-year contracts. Multi-year contracts. I've also thrown out the idea that, you know, we're going to talk with Fanta about it, but schools are on the precipice of being able to pay directly to players. And I've said this idea before, but...

A freshman gets 50K from the school. A sophomore gets 75. A junior gets 100. If you transfer, you go back to freshman salary. So, like, there is a... You can still transfer. You can still do whatever you want. But you don't get to climb the ladder of what the school can pay you. Yeah, I like that. Which would be interesting. But, yeah, it's a weird time. And I think they'll hopefully figure it out because I love college sports very, very much. And this...

Listen, it wasn't the best tournament, but we do have a great Final Four. And for people who are like, this has never happened before, StatHole sent me this. In 2007, we had two ones and two twos. In 2008, we had four ones. All four ones made it to the Final Four. And in 2009, it was two ones, a two, and a three. So we had a stretch where it was a lot of chalk. What was that in 2008, Hank? That was Titus. That was Titus.

That was the tightest year? Ohio State, Florida. Yeah. Where was that? What city was that in? UCLA. It was in San Antonio. Oh, nice. Connect the dots. It's wild.

I also appreciate this guy, Steve Berkowitz. For some reason, he just spent like five hours tweeting out all the bonuses that coaches got this year. Bruce Pearl got a $100,000 bonus for making the Final Four. That's it? Yeah, he's gotten 450,000 bonuses this season. Michigan State coach Tom Izzo finished the season with 200,000 bonuses. Kelvin Sampson picks up a $300,000 bonus.

And then Tennessee, if they finish in the top ten in the media poll, which they will, Rick Barnes will get a million dollars in bonuses. A million bucks for old Ricky Barnes. He's consistent. Yeah, he is consistent. Speaking of coaches, Max, that scumbag Kevin Willard is now your new coach. Congratulations. Thanks.

Anything you want to say? Apologies to Maryland fans? No. He did it over a Zoom call? He told his team over a Zoom call? That's tough. Obviously, there's bad blood between Kevin Willard and the athletic department at the University of Maryland.

But the players? Players to zoom the players? We'll see. We'll see if any of the players come with him. Okay. If the players come with him, then we'll see. Do you think that Julian Reese? What if they don't? You think Julian Reese? I'll bet you Julian Reese doesn't come with him. He has no more eligibility. Fuck, I thought I could get you on that. I bet you Queen doesn't come.

He's going to the draft. Have the last two weeks given you any pause about Kevin Willard as a man of integrity? No. There's coaches out there that kill people. There's coaches out there that you defend that help cover up murders. Whoa, who do we defend? Who do we defend? Jim Boeheim retired. Who do we defend? You don't defend him. Who do we defend? I mean, everyone says that there's way worse coaches that do worse stuff. Why are you pointing at us? Who killed someone, Max?

He didn't kill anyone, but there was allegations that he was... Actually, tune into our Monday reading. We have more on that. Yeah, yeah. We have a graph that someone... What did Kevin Willard do? He went into the media and said that he... Oh, shit. No, he's just a dick. Did you see the... Hank. So is Danny Hurley. If Danny Hurley was in the same situation... The Russians had like a stroke.

You guys, Max six and point eight just goes, oh shit. Just watch the sun's rocket sun's rockets game. The ref almost just died. Dylan Brooks also just went nuts. He got kicked out of the game. That was interesting. That was interesting. Yeah. Uh,

Did you see the clip of him leaving Seton Hall doing the exact same thing? It was very funny. Yeah, we talked about that on Friday where he said the exact same comments. Yeah, I finally saw the videos back to back and it was... Yeah, he's just a scumbag. Well, now he's going to get support. He's only been to 1 Street 16 in 18 years. Yeah, he was at Seton Hall. Okay, I'm just saying.

Say that without the president around. Yeah, say that when Pug's around. Not necessarily a school that gets great resources. Do you think he's a great hire? I think he's a good hire. Okay. Who would have been a great hire? Jay Wright? Yeah, Jay Wright. Todd Golden? There wasn't guys out there this cycle for there to be like...

They're no great hires. A++ hires. So I'm excited for the next chapter. We're going to be competitive again. You got the crown. We got the crown coming up. Build some momentum. Yeah. College basketball is a wild west right now. People do whatever the fuck they want. It is true. And that's just the nature of the game. And Kevin Willard went to Villanova to get a better job and to be in a better situation for his family. Also, just shout out the southeastern portion of the United States.

All the teams. Shout out to the southeastern portion. You get everyone this time. Yeah. I don't, I didn't get. Duke, Florida, Auburn, Houston. Oh. Yeah. Got it. I thought I was like trying to relate that to whatever. No, not about Villanova. Well, that's what we were talking about. Yeah, you guys are not in the southeast. Yeah. Correct. Shout out to southeast. It means more down there. Incorrect, but. Well, what is the SEC's actual tagline?

For football, it means more. No, I think that's for both. No, for football. It literally means more. It means more in football. They said it first. They got dibs on it means more. That's just a fact. What does the Big East say? Ballers. Ballers. I do want my rule to be Kevin Willard should have to go play at Maryland until he beats Maryland. Deal. See, that's another thing. That'll be...

One day, Maryland will face off against Villanova in something, and that'll be awesome to watch. It doesn't matter what sport. But it should happen next year. It should happen next year. No, I would love that. I would absolutely love that. Maryland has been trying to rehire Gary Williams. The next incarnation. They've been lost ever since Gary Williams left. And he was a great coach. I think they are a basketball school, firmly. Yeah. Well, they're not technically.

Definitely not a football school. They're not a football school. You're a basketball school. Hire some big sweaty guy that screams at people and fires assistants during games. Steve Blake did put his name in there. He tweeted. Did he? Yeah, he's like, I'm available. I mean, that's the next step is get him, Juan Dixon, Lonnie Baxter. Have those guys come back. Did Juan Dixon, did he do something? Wasn't he a coach somewhere? Was he? Am I thinking of someone else? Jamie Dixon? No, no, no.

Chris Wilcox. Get all those guys back. Just coach the team. Yeah. Yeah, no, it would be sick. At this point, if it's not going well, you might as well just bring back the glory days. Sell people on that. Yeah. What was the Juan Dixon thing? I might have just made that up. Juan Dixon always seemed like a good guy to me. Juan Dixon. What's he up to? Coach, what is Juan Dixon up to?

Oh, look. Judge dismisses Coppin State from lawsuit that alleges sexual assault blackmail by basketball staffer. That's pretty good. So they dismissed it. Oh, that was against him? Uh-oh. I'm seeing him on Housewives. Former coach wants his...

A former basketball player accuses Lucian Brownlee, an assistant on former coach Juan Dixon's team, of blackmailing and sexually assaulting him. The player identified by the... All right. I just remember there's a story, so I was right about the story. I don't remember how much Juan Dixon was involved in it. It sounds like, yeah, a guy on his staff. Yeah, possibly. Alleged, which was thrown out. Coppin State and former coach Juan Dixon dismissed from sexual assault blackmail lawsuit. Okay. What was the record this year, Max?

Whose record? Coppin State. Well, this was a couple years ago that he was coached there and got dismissed. So I don't know what their record was this year. They're pretty bad. Not good. Wait, no, this was 2023. Yeah, that was when he was last coach. I say fuck it. Bring him back anyways. Fuck it. Fuck it. Figure out what's going on with that lawsuit and then bring him back. Or maybe buzz.

Yeah, maybe Buzz Williams. Okay, let's talk some other sports before we do that. Game time. Hank, can you look up – let's look up Cubs opening day on Friday, home opener. Okay.

The best part about... Actually, no, let's look up the games at San Antonio because the best part about college basketball is here. We know you're as excited as we are to watch some big upsets throughout the tournament. While we're streaming in the cave, you can get out to see the action in person with GameTime, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. GameTime makes getting tickets faster and easier. Prices on the app actually go down the closer it gets to Showtime. Plus, the GameTime Picks feature makes it even easier to find the great deals on the seats you want. You can even find last-minute tickets for the tournament online

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We're looking at tickets right now. What are the tickets for the games in San Antonio? You could go to both games for $550, or if you wanted to just go to the Florida game, you could get in for $295. Okay, go to both. They're going to be great games. So go to GameTime app right now. Buy your tickets. They've got great curated deals for all tiers of tickets, and you know you're getting the top option when you see the super deal icon.

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There was a brawl in the NBA. It was awesome. Dante DiVincenzo, about that life. First guy in, yeah. Supporting this guy. Could you pull up the video? Because I saw it. So it's Timberwolves, Pistons. I like that the Pistons are...

The Pistons getting into meaningful brawls again is like that's the last step in their rebuild. They're a playoff team, but that's the last step in their rebuild of being like their swaggers all the way back. Yeah, I think it's good for the sport just seeing those jerseys. Yeah. Throwing some hands. Yeah, look at Dante right in the middle of it. Dante was all... He had no problem with that. I think there was some dick grabbing going on as well. Isaiah Stewart's been like the biggest fight guy the last few years. Yeah, he's the famous clip where he was being held back bloody and just like going through the whole...

basically every single person trying to hold him back. Was he the one who was possibly grabbing Dante DiVincenzo's dick? That's him right there. Okay. I like this. We haven't had a brawl like this in a long time. I like that Dante was sitting down and then got up to get back in the fight. Yeah. He's like, tap me in. And then a bunch of dudes coming with Q-zips.

Just trying to break everything up. So it started, was it Nas Reed? Somebody fouled Nas Reed. Then Nas got in his face. Nas Reed terrifies me. Yeah. He seems like a very scary guy. I also, I like, I wonder if we can get, when we find out more about this brawl, my favorite is whenever there's a personal security guard that also gets involved from like the baseline. And you have to communicate with the actual security guards from the arena. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, it was finger wag. Yeah. Nas Reed finger pointing. Then Don Dave DiVincenzo just jumped. He wasn't part of this. And then he became the main character of this. Yeah. Stand up for his guy. Nova boys. Italians.

I remember I heard a story about this big Timberwolves fan that loved Nas Reed so much that he got a Nas Reed tattoo, like the words Nas Reed. Okay. When you're getting that tattoo and they write the N, the A, and the Z, how quickly do you say to that tattoo guy, you probably actually make them write Reed first. No, they probably go backwards. They probably do Z-A-N. Yeah, you can't just pause after the Z. Correct. Correct. Be some bad footage out there. I would agree.

Yeah, look at this. Little kids with their cameras out looking for brawl footage. This part of the NBA season is so, I'll say, boring because it's just everyone... I feel like every night half the teams aren't even trying or tanking.

And a lot of the teams are already set with their, like, we have no drama in the West who's going to get the one seed. JJ actually put a study together complaining about some stuff. What did he say? He said that no matter how much the rest of the league is sitting their guys out, he had his guy look at the numbers, and I think it's 86% of the starting fives

play against the Lakers when they get a chance to play the Lakers. So nobody sets their guys against LA. Oh, so that's actually makes me hate Duke. Wait. Yeah. That makes me hate Duke. And also, Hey dude, you got Luca for free. Yeah. So you can't complain. That's a pretty good, pretty good trade off. But yeah, the, the, the, the thunder have had the West locked up for like,

a month and a half. And with the plans, it like kind of ruined, like if there was drama for the eight seat, it'd be one thing, but right. Fighting to get to the plan to maybe get to the playoffs. Like it's not, I hate the plan. It sucks. Has there been a more overlooked, disrespected, brushed aside to seed overall than the Houston Rockets?

No, they're playing well. Yeah, but you can always just go with the Rockets are too young. Yeah. They're the thunder of last year. They got to learn how to win. They got to learn how to win first. Yeah. And then next year, they'll be for real. The Grizzlies being a playoff team and firing their coaches is a wild, wild story that I don't understand at all. And then John Morant comes back right when they get their interim head coach. Yeah. He must have just hated them. Well, they were playing poorly. Yeah.

They haven't been good for the last couple weeks. But yeah, to just... The problem might be... If you're going to fire... If you hate your coach, right? If you're a GM and you hate your coach and he's the four seed, he gets in the playoffs. What if he wins two playoff series? You can't fire him anymore. Right. You got to do it now. Yeah. But yeah, I agree. I think the plan sucks. I wish they would get rid of it. Because it's not only...

It's not only there's no drama for the eight seed, but it's what I've always when they originally announced the play. And I was like, this is going to be for franchises like the Bulls. Jerry Reinsdorf is going to use this as like we almost made the playoffs every single year. And they're exactly in that spot again. You get playing fun basketball, but they're not like they shouldn't be a playoff. You get to play and win. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, we want a playoff series. Right.

it's bullshit. It's bullshit. It's just more teams that the owners can basically sell like, Hey, we're right there. Yeah. Um,

But yeah, so the NBA, so we had a brawl, which was cool. And then we're just waiting for the playoffs. And Hank, you already conceded the one seed to the Cavs. I asked you that, and you were like, yeah, it's over. Yeah, unless the Cavs would have to lose out. We'd have to win out maybe a couple games here or there, but the Cavs got it. Okay, so you've conceded. Concede. The concession has been made. So if you get the one seed, will you take it back?

Will you give it back? You'll officially say, I don't want the one seed. And talk to Adam Silver and be like, can we get this reversed? Yes. Okay. Good man. That's a man of principle. Coach Mizzou might not like that. I believe you. No, he doesn't care. Whoever gets put in front of him, they'll play. No, but Coach Mizzou, he would want this. He'd be like, we don't deserve the one. Yeah, but if they win enough games to get the one to then give it up. No, I think Coach Mizzou will be like. Well, it's not in the Celtics control. That's the thing.

What do you mean? Like the Celtics would win out and not get the one seed. Right. I think Coach Mazzola would say, give us the eight seed. They could get the one seed and not get the one seed, according to you, because you'd have to give it back.

Yeah, it's one thing if you control your own destiny, it's one thing to give it up, but they don't. We're focused on the playoffs. Are we on the same page here? If you get the one seed, you're not allowed to take it. It doesn't matter if we're the one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. We just need to be healthy, and we're going to run through the East. So what you're saying is Mickey Mouse Championship if you guys win the championship as the one seed? Yeah. Because it wasn't according to your... Okay. Got it. We're not going to be the one seed, so you can say whatever you want, and I'll say yes. Okay.

But if you are, you're going to give it up. Will you shave your head if you get the one seed? Yes. Okay. Now go Celtics. And beard. Okay. Go Celtics. Will you make Max get a soul patch? Yes. If you get the one seed. Wow. Okay. Perfect. Awesome. Like Max...

put himself out of the running for Cooper flag and now is back in I would never do that yeah you would never do it is disgusting that he's back in fact I think point I think that max you should have to get a soul patch if you somehow luck your ass way into the number one overall not getting a soul patch and you get not even for Cooper flag you took yourself out of the lottery yes yeah I will I will I will for NBA championship yes for

For Cooper Flagg? Nope. You just said yes to an NBA championship. You just said yes to an NBA championship. Hank should get a soul patch for the NBA championship. I'm not getting a soul patch. All three of us should get one if any of us get a Cooper Flagg. I'm not doing soul patch for you. I will get a soul patch if the Bulls get Cooper Flagg. I will get one if the Bulls get Cooper Flagg. I will get one if the Wizards get Cooper Flagg. You basically already have one. But then when I get one, people are like, yo, PFT, that looks kind of normal. Hank did say...

Max, you heard the same thing I did. He did say, he said he would get a soul patch if the Celtics won the championship. I'm not doing that. Cooper flag. Yes. Your word used to mean something on this show. If we Celtics get a Cooper flag soul patch. Okay. Um, we also have the owners meeting in Orlando right now and they're deciding. So they had the, the annual coaches picture. I blogged it, go check it out. Uh,

They did it inside this year. It sucks. Sucks. Credit to you, PFT. Dan Quinn was a monster. Yeah, he's looking good. He looked awesome. The head looked super shiny. I said he looked like a guy who's got a smoking hot wife and four smoking hot daughters, and he's just always angry.

Because everyone in his family is hot. Yeah. He's having to protect them all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just a manly man who just will break your hand if you give him a handshake. Yeah. Aaron Glenn won the Aaron Glenn Award because I have nothing to say about Aaron Glenn.

Completely unremarkable. I spent about five minutes looking at Brian Callahan trying to figure out who Brian Callahan was. Oh, I did it with Brian Schottenheimer. Oh, I remembered him. Yeah, well, my Brian Schottenheimer award was just, this has to be Brian Schottenheimer. I knew who Brian Callahan was. Brian Callahan doesn't know where the camera is. Yeah, he's often like a LSD fog somewhere. Our guys, though, look like if you... I don't know which guys we can...

technically say are our guys. I would say LeFleur is one of our guys. I say Stefanski. Vrabel. Vrabel. Shanahan, I would say. Harbaugh.

Shanahan looks 1,000 yards there. He needs to win a Super Bowl so bad. Stefanski looks good in the pink. He does need to do a couple push-ups because that right tit is just sagging a little. Same with LaFleur. You know what I loved in this was that Andy Reid, famous for wearing shorts no matter what the weather is, inside he's wearing pants. He's zigzagged on you. Also, zoom in. Andy Reid, I said this, but Andy Reid, if you've never had a look at Andy Reid's cankles, Andy Reid's cankles are...

If the World Trade Centers were reinforced with Andy Reid's cankles instead of steel, it's still up. I respect that. 100%. Those things will never bend. Those things could... He's never had a turned ankle in his life. Jet fuel can't melt Reid femurs. Yes, exactly. And also, Dan Campbell, I don't know if you guys imagined the same thing when you looked at this picture, but I think his polo is down to his shins. If you see the polo, he's wearing...

a comically large polo. So I don't think he cares because he's the type of guy he'll wear a dress and just hope you talk shit. Yeah. I fed the picture into that new what's the new chat GPT AI image simulator.

Is it like the Ghibli? Ghibli? What the fuck is that thing called? It's just ChatGPT. Yeah, so I fed it in there. It did a terrible job. You can't recognize any of these guys. The 4K. Load it in 4K, Max. Why are you struggling with this so bad? Because it doesn't fucking work on any of these websites. Oh, man. They're all shitty quality photos. Go on Twitter and go to the NFL PR guy. You can't zoom in on Twitter. Yes. Yes. You want to look? Okay. Zoom in. Command plus. Yes.

It just goes right back to what it was. Okay. Mike Tomlin should always be wearing a hat. He looks weird without a hat. Are they going to get Aaron Rodgers or what? The new article today said they don't know. Okay. So they don't have a plan A, a plan B, or a plan C. Got it. They're just moving forward right now. Okay. So no plan A, no plan B, no plan C. Max, you want to... I mean, Sirianni...

He's not wearing pants. He looks like a little boy. He looks like a little boy, and I think you can do it, though, when you win the Super Bowl. You show up in anything you want to wear. You get to do that. Was Daybol in the same spot last year? Daybol...

So, Dable is all the way... I think Dable didn't even want to be in the picture. And I also think that Dable's wearing... I think he's the only one in the picture who is wearing team-issued gear. Kind of a suck-up move. Well, no. I think it's more that otherwise people would think he was fired.

Yeah. Like he's wearing it to remind everyone, oh, I'm actually not fired. I think he's doing it to the Mariseum and they're like, that's a team play right there. Always promoting the brand. But he got the awkward conversation out of the way because if someone ran into him, they'd be like, oh, what are you up to these days? They see the Giants. They're like, oh, yeah, that's right. He didn't get fired. How's that going? Because you know how there's always like one or two coaches that get talked about being fired so much and then they don't get fired? Oh, that's all Max's.

And you're like, how the fuck did that happen? Like, I half expected Doug Peterson to be in this photo. Yeah. You know, where it just didn't end up happening. It's fine, Max. It's fine. You're the producer. You had like five hours to set this up. It's fine. The fucking thing doesn't fucking work. All right. So I like that they put the outside of the hotel in a giant picture behind the guys. Crazy. I'm so sad they weren't outside that you got to have this outside. Put them in the rain.

Put him in the rain. You'll see Dan Campbell if you zoom in his shirt. You can't see the bottom of his shirt. Oh, yeah. See that? That is right out of like 2001. That is the longest shirt ever. He just shops at the big and tall store and doesn't give a fuck. It is sad, though, that Mike Tomlin, he's got the sunglasses in the shirt. Yeah. This should be outside. He came ready. He came ready. So the big news right now at the NFL League meeting is the Tush Push ban.

So there's been a proposal to ban the tush push and has support with the competition committee during the football operations Sunday session. Howie Roseman and the assistant GM John Ferrara had an animated conversation with Sean McVay and Sean McDermott in a side hallway outside the ballroom.

So animated conversation, two Italians, Philadelphia. You can imagine what that was like after the meeting. Cowboys co-owner Stephen Jones said, we don't allow pushing and we're trying to be consistent with our rules.

That is verbatim basically what I say in my house like every weekend to my kids. We don't allow pushing and we're trying to be consistent with our rules. I can't believe this is a real thing the NFL is talking about. We need to keep our hands to ourselves and we need to use safe arms and doors. Honestly, Max, it's going to be banned, I think. At some point, if it's not this year, in the future it will be banned. I do not want it to be banned.

But you should look at this as a win. This would be such a massive win for the Philadelphia Eagles if you're just so much better at being strong than every other football team that they make you being strong against the rules. It feels Patriots-esque. Yeah. Hank, thoughts? They hate us because they ain't us. Yeah. I said in U.S. for the tush, but yeah. They hate us because they ain't us. That's good. I just don't think they should ban it. I feel like the...

The Bills couldn't even run it in the playoffs. They weren't pushing. The Bills are also very good at that play in the regular season, but not. Did you guys also see Sirianni's quote, which was fire? He's feeling himself, Sirianni, showing up in shorts. He said, we'll see how it goes. All I'll say is Jonathan Gannon, Shane Steichen, and Kellen Moore better vote for it. They're in their position right now because of that play.

I like that. That play built their careers. You're a tush merchant. Yeah. There's another big story coming out of the NFL League meetings, Big Cat. Did you see the rules report? They changed the rule. They added something to it. Wait, wait. I'm going to guess. Okay. All right. Give me a vague. Because I love this. They always do it just to say they did something. There's a new thing that is now a 15-yard penalty for being a violent gesture.

Is it guns? I think guns is already. Guns already? You can do the... Throat slashes a while ago. You can do the bow and arrow, I think. Throat slashing. Nose. Yes. Wow. That's so dumb. The nose wipe is now a 15-yard penalty for being a violent gesture. RIP to the Broward guys that do that after every single play. Fuck that. The slime? Can't do it anymore. Although, I mean, that conviction was somewhat overturned.

Just this whole conversation got me juiced up for some fun. You know what I think? Here's... I'm just like... We're talking about nose wipes and tush pushes and oversized polos, and I'm like, football. Roger Goodell is going to be like, we'll let you guys have the nose wipe back. You can do the nose wipe celebration in exchange for an 18-game season. Yeah. And players will be like, fuck, he's going to miss. He absolutely will. Um...

Yeah, that was it. I mean, I love that they all go into this hotel in Orlando. We should go one year. Yeah, I've been saying that. Maybe spring break we just go down there. Going to the owner's meeting would be incredible. I don't think they would let us anywhere near any of this. I would sneak in. Anywhere near any of this. Act like a stewardess. I'm here to see Jerry Jones.

Also, I feel like the coaches might be able to give us like a blueprint. Yeah. On how to sneak in. Well, that was his recap of it. He's like, they make us take a picture. Then they send us across the street. Then they change all the rules. Then we go play golf. They change all the rules. We're playing golf. Okay. Anything else from the wide world of sports? Oh, yeah. What? I was going to say the Yankees. Yeah. Torpedo bats. Cheating. Okay.

I want to hear your guys take. My take is simple. I wish everyone would shut the fuck up about it so we could win some money betting the over for like a couple weeks. I bet the over today. Easiest win ever. Why do we have to ruin something? A billion home runs against the Brewers. Do you like money, Hank? I like integrity. Oh, God. That's one thing about Hank.

He cares about the rules of the sport. That's why you were anti-deflategate, that whole thing. Well, that was proven to be a witch hunt. So here's where I stand. I don't care that it's available for any team to do it. I don't care that any team could hire an MIT scientist to design their bats. I don't care that other teams have done it. The Yankees are doing it right now, which means that it must be stopped. But can we also win some money for a little bit?

Yeah. I also have a take. Yeah. You watch baseball to watch homers. Why do people want less homers? Yeah. Like, everything in baseball right now is going towards the pitcher the one time something goes towards the hitter, and now everyone wants to freak out. That's what baseball is for. You want to watch people hit. This is good for baseball. More runs is good for baseball. But the Yankees are doing it. Correct. Correct.

Which I get that point. That's the main point. But if everyone starts doing this and everyone starts scoring more runs, that is more fun to watch. But the problem is every team hasn't been doing it. They should be, but they're not. So that means the Yankees are the main ones doing it, which means it sucks. If every team gets to use this bat, then every pitcher should be able to use the sticky stuff. Also, wait, hold on a second. Isn't it just two guys on the Yankees that are doing it?

Like Aaron Judge hit three home runs yesterday. He's not using this. Listen, me and Elon are in lockstep on this. No judge should have that much power. Yeah. I also think there's a guy from the Twins that's using one, too. I saw, too, because Dave did a rant on it, and then someone responded that the Red Sox were using him in spring training.

I didn't see that. Yeah, I mean, listen. Cake's face right now. If the bat's that much better, every team should be doing it right now. I think there was a player on the Rays that did it in a pinch hit situation, got a hit. He's like, yeah, I'm going to break it out for special circumstances. Dude, just fucking everybody use this bat if it's better. The Rays baseball field is a joke. Oh, it's so bad. It's a joke. It's so bad. Wait, Memes, how many Yankees are doing it? Volpe's doing it. Bellinger's doing it. Jazz Chisholm's doing it.

And I think there might be one more. So three? And those guys all hit home runs. Okay. I was hoping that we would just be chill about this and bet the over for a couple weeks, and then they'd be like, oh, can't do it anymore. If it was any other team doing it, we'd all be very chill. Every team should fucking do it. If the Yankees are doing it, it's working, just do it. That's also true. I think they will, and it'll be fun. That's what happened with the trash cans.

What? Every team started doing it. Every team started cheating, and then the Red Sox had to start using iPhones and Apple Watches. The Astros made you cheat.

They also, for MLB, so the two other MLB stories, one is MLB app blew it on opening day, and then I think they're still having problems. Got to figure that out. MLB TV, got to figure that out. Has it? I've been... Saturday, I think Ibo was saying that he couldn't watch the Orioles. That's bad. Bad. Bad. I watched the Phillies on Saturday. Okay, so it's maybe better. And then they also released... Did you watch the Phillies today, Max?

Yeah, we won the series. What happened to that? We just got to keep winning series. Aaron Nola is just Aaron Nola. He's back to being Aaron Nola? Every single game, he starts off great. He looks like the best pitcher in baseball, and then he has one inning where he just blows up every single game. Turn him into a reliever. Forbes released how much each team made in 2024 and then how much they're paying in payroll in 2025.

So the Mets are using basically 90% of what they made they're using on payroll. That's good. Good. Very good. Dodgers, 73%. That's probably all because Shohei's being paid $2 million a year. And then...

The Cubs are at 26. They're using 36% of what they made last year. They're the third or fourth highest in terms of revenue. Yeah. Red Sox got to be up at the bottom too, right? The Red Sox are 23rd. They're using 42%. They got to get their weight up actually right next to the Nationals. I agree.

This just needs to be shamed more. The Cubs are only ahead of the Pirates, the Rays, the White Sox, and the Marlins. They also just traded Cody Bellinger for money and then pocketed it. That is bad. I think that in the case of the Nationals, if you're selling the team, this goes across all sports, if you're selling the team, why not put some money in some free agents right before you sell the team?

Because guys might be like, I don't want to fucking... I mean, they probably wouldn't think this way, but be like, I don't want to pay for this if you have all these guys. No, I feel like that's a rounding error at that point. Work for the Celtics? Yeah. Well, they paid good players. True. Yeah, paid good free agents. Yeah. Try to make some additions. But it is the next owner's problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After this year, hard questions have to be answered. I just hate seeing this shit. It drives me insane. Just seeing how much money they make and how little they spend on it. It's like, dude, if you own a team...

We need to interview every person who goes to buy a team and just be like, dude, are you a chill guy or what? Yeah, are you a real sports fan? Like, are you fucking down for it or no? Are you a real sports fan? Because what you can do... Here's what you can do is you can pay 100% of your revenue. Yeah. And guess what? You're still going to make money because your team's going to get more valuable. Correct. Over the long term. Just give me five minutes with any prospective owner and I can tell you right away if they're going to be a cheap ass or they're going to actually be down for it and just...

Look, you got billions of dollars. Just fucking throw it around. Win some games. Steve Ballmer. Have them all out. Yeah. Not the smartest. Who cares? Doesn't matter. Just go for it. Yeah, go for it. Matt Ishbia. Not the smartest. Suns aren't even going to make playoffs. He went for it. Go for it. Yeah. He should buy another team. Maybe a baseball team.

Yeah, you might buy the white socks. I know. Yeah, I like just the idea of just going up to a rich guy and being like, are you going to go for it, bro? Are you cool? Just tell me right now, are you going to go for it? Can you hang? Yeah. Do you like winning? How much do you like winning?

I'll tell you, I could sniff it out in a second. Okay, let's do Who's Back of the Week, and then we will finish with the Monday reading after we get to talk to John Fanta, our good friend John Fanta. Who's Back of the Week is brought to you by our friends at Truly Unruly.com.

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Hammocks are back. How so? There was, you know, we've had a lot of talks about hammocks and how much Big Cat doesn't like them. They're great. AWL tweeted out a picture of a Stella Blue sticker that we sell. Hold on, Max. Hold on. Big Cat and Stella sitting in a hammock drinking coffee. A cartoon? Yeah.

A cartoon. A depiction. A cartoon. It sounds like it's a brand-approved logo. A cartoon. What Hank's describing. I have some cartoons. People want to watch the YouTube. I have some cartoons I'd like to share with you guys.

Okay, we're ready. The first cartoon is Hank sitting on a lovely outdoor furniture seat and it says, Living the Life. I see that. It's a nice cartoon. There you go, Hank. You're looking really comfortable. Is that me or is that Andrew Santino? That's you. That's Andrew Santino. That's you, for sure. Okay, the next one is...

PFT in a Capitals jersey. That's not... Burning hammocks. He's burning hammocks. Am I wearing a weed hat? Yeah, that's crazy, dude. That is nuts. That's fucking nuts. I do be doing that. Why would you do that? PFT could never grow a mustache that full. That's a crazy visual. The hammock's probably made of weed. The next one is, I think, from CCTV. It's just PFT burning a hammock in real life.

Wow. This is crazy. It does look real. These are all images. Are we not? Do we agree these are all images? I own that jacket. Yeah. Actually, if you zoom in, it's like, you know how the AI distorts shit? Yeah. It's like the most. Where do my hands look like? It's the most distorted old Redskins logo you've ever seen. So yeah, there we go. There's another picture. Can we zoom in on that? Yeah. And then, oh no, we can't zoom in. And then the last one is a cartoon of Hank signing a contract that says, I am never playing golf again.

That's just not my signature. That's crazy. That's not even an H. Yeah, cartoons, Hank. Cartoons are back. That one at least looks more like me, I guess. Look how happy you are.

Yeah, no, I looked almost as happy as you and Stella. Just drinking coffee, sitting in the hammock. Listen, I'll say I like hammocks if you say you'll never play golf again. If we're going off cartoons. Well, that's a sold. I'll sell that. That's brand approved. I'll fucking sell that. I'll sell that tomorrow. Not my signature. It's the I am never playing golf again Stella Blue. It's a good thing you weren't worried about this. No, it's a good thing he's not triggered by it. The one thing is, it's funny because Hank...

sits in the Stella Blue meetings, and he probably was there the second when that logo was put in front of me, and he knows how I react to every logo put in front of me. I go, yeah, that's good. Well, not always. Depends on the letters. What do you mean? The A's. The A. Oh, well, that was good. That was more like it was a special good. Shane's A. I'm still thinking about that A. What happened with the rest? That A from Shane was, sometimes I'll just dream about it.

That A. Yeah, but did you guys like my cartoons? Yeah, they were pretty good cartoons. I was actually on a hammock on Saturday, and it's all that is cracked up to be in more.

That's funny because I have a picture of you burning a hammock. Yeah, I know. That's true. That's something from my past. I'll have to get over. This one is scary. The fact that Quigs made this. I know. It looks like I'm having a seance for it. And also, you look fatter than real life. This is like fat, satanic PFT. Yeah. So tune into the YouTube to see all the cartoons that we can make. Quigs.

Quigs is a weapon. I like the CCTV. That's how you know it's real. Everyone has CCTV in their backyard. Look at it. Here's the logo. How distorted it is. It's a fucked up Redskins logo. Even the Bills one. All right. So what was your who's back? And then Minwalee was my other who's back. What happened? Won his first PGA Tour event. Houston Children's Open. Beat Scottie Scheffler. It was a kid's event?

You beat a bunch of kids? That's what it's for. Public course. Always a nice touch from the PGA Tour. That is cool. We love that. You can play there for like $35. Shout out. Is it? Minwoo Lee. That's not our tracker, right? No. That's Siwoo Kim. Yep. I knew that. Minwoo Lee, he's an internet golf guy. He's huge on TikTok, huge on Instagram, YouTube probably. Cool. This is his first win on the tour. He's pumped. He's from Australia. He's from Australia? Australia. People's champ.

I'm very happy I didn't say congratulations to the Min... Wait, no. Siwoo Kim. Siwoo Kim tracker. That would have been embarrassing. Oy. Good thing I didn't. That was good. Good eye. Okay, PFT, who's your who's back? My who's back of the week is me being right for about six years, and I've dealt with a lot of hate for this take. Sweet vindication is here.

The Impractical Jokers suck ass. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've been dying on that hill. I was going to say, wait, that wasn't us. No, a lot of people have been like, dude, they're funny. Yeah, definitely not me. I thought you were coming at us. No. Like, no, we're not. I've been anti. I knew that something was up. Yeah. I knew something was up, and I didn't know what it was. And the Mike Greenbergs of the world were all pumped about the Impractical Jokers. The whole world became a big commercial for Impractical Jokers for about five years. Turns out two of the four creeps.

Okay. Sex creeps. Which ones? Please don't tell me it was Sal. It's not Sal. Sal's a good guy. Fuck yes. It was Joe and it was Murr, allegedly. Okay. So Joe, well, I also want to say for Joe, he has now checked himself into inpatient treatment for being a sex creep.

I don't know what that's like when Riley Cooper after that video came out. He's like, I've entered therapy. Yeah, I've entered treatment. I'm seeking treatment for being racist. Yeah. Joe Gatto is seeking treatment for, I guess, being a sex creep. So he's been hitting up high school girls, hanging out with them, touching their stomachs, doing weird shit. And then Murr was allegedly deeming a bunch of underage girls. Oh, so impractical jokers, not good guys. We stand vindicate. We get now. We just now we just wait.

Now we just wait, big cat. You know who I'm waiting for? The downfall? Dude Perfect? Yeah. Just waiting. Not before I was offered to go see their new headquarters and bring my kids. So can I just go do that first? Yeah. And also, for the record, Purple Hoser, good guy. I told you that they basically... Dude Perfect, they just...

It's a cult that they get everyone into because my son did a fun run for his school and they gave all the kids Dude Perfect backpacks. Yeah. And he got one and he was just like,

I love Dude Perfect. Yeah. They're youth pastors for sports. Yeah. Impractical jokers. Okay. So. Jackass youth pastors. That's what they are. Joe and Murr. Yeah. Joe and Murr. Sal is fat. Disavowed. Sal, good guy. Being fat's not a crime. Nope. And now apparently they've taken down a bunch of their old episodes where they've got Joe doing some weird stuff and Murr doing weird stuff that in retrospect doesn't look good. But at the time it was like, oh, ha ha. These guys are so funny. That's not good. Tough week for Staten Island. Yeah.

Very tough week. Very tough week for Staten Island. Oh, yeah. Enters inpatient treatment facility after sexual assault allegations. What is the treatment? Inpatient treatment for sexual assault allegations. Yeah. Stop doing that. It's like when a pop star or musician goes to the hospital for dehydration. It's like they just had too many drugs. That's really what's happening. Okay. Okay.

My who's back of the week is Rick Pitino because RJ Luis is in the transfer portal, but Rick has said that he's going to go to the NBA. He should go to the NBA. And he keeps talking him up. Rick doesn't want to see him go anywhere. Totally, totally fine. It wasn't the hard coaching. He's an NBA guy.

That definitely is how the sequence of events happened. It was a mutual decision on both of their parts for him to not play the end of that game. And then you know what Rick Pitino was doing was saving his health for the NBA. Well, no, he was actually doing a solid because if he had shot, I think it was what shot two for 17. If he had ended up shooting two for 25, no one would have drafted him. Could have been bad. Yeah. The stock was slipping. Yeah, it was very funny. RJ Lewis hitting the transfer portal and then Rick Pitino.

Taking your Twitter being like, I hope he goes to the NBA. He's always been an NBA guy. So, yeah, good luck to him. Hopefully he goes to the NBA. Okay, let's do our interview with John Fanta. Let's talk some more college basketball. He also gives us the next Browns, what he wants for the Browns. Great time with John Fanta. And then we will finish the whole show with a Monday reading that's a little bit of a wild one.

So here he is, John Fanta, before PFT's got a couple ads. Before we get to John Fanta, the people's champ, he's brought to you by Proper 12. The original rich and smooth Proper 12 Irish whiskey is a delicious blend of golden grain and single malt, triple distilled, aged four years in bourbon barrels, because anything else just wouldn't be proper. It's great straight, on the rocks, or in your favorite whiskey cocktail.

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Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests, the best, he is the best, it is Jon Fanta. We're talking Final Four, we're talking The Crown, we're talking coaches. Jon, first of all, great to see you. Second, let's try to put a positive spin zone on this Final Four in this tournament because...

It hasn't been the best. It hasn't been the best. We're being honest with our listeners. I'm excited about this final four. The four teams remaining are incredible teams, but I think we all expected maybe some more close games this weekend and we only got a couple. So what, what do we give us the positive outlook going forward? The positive outlook is this. It is the best final four that we have ever seen. These four teams are,

Auburn with Jani Broome, his return, spectacular. Duke with Cooper Flagg. John Shire, does he actually make them likable? There's something about him. They play so hard, and now he's trying to show that he is the man. You're talking about Florida, Walter Clayton, Mr. Clutch. Are you kidding me? And then Houston, the Cougars. 11 years ago, Kelvin Sampson called his dad John.

And he said, Dad, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I think I want to be an NBA head coach. His dad said, Kelvin, and his dad was on bed rest due to some medical issues. His dad said, Kelvin, I think that you are best in college basketball. I think that that's where you should be. 36 hours later, Kelvin's dad passed away. Kelvin believed it was divine intervention, that the last words his dad spoke to him were,

Go and be a college coach. Go for the love of the game. Now Kelvin has put together two runs to the final four in five years. He's coming up on his 800th career victory as a head coach. And the Houston Cougars showed on Sunday afternoon that they are built tough, tough in every single way. Ken Palm was formed in 1996, guys.

These four teams, Duke, Houston, Florida, and Auburn, would be in the top 10 all time in the Ken Palm metric system.

Get ready for a heavyweight clash and not between me and Rico Bosco. On the Riverwalk. He's not that fat. Antonio, get your cowboy hat. Find a margarita because, guys, this is going to be electric. And you've got four boxers who are entering the ring and all of them believe that

We're going to be champs. Okay. That made me feel better. I'm in. Yeah. But I've also been saying that after every round. Yeah. I've been like, you know what? It wasn't the best opening round, but that means we're going to get great matchups in the round of 32. Oh, we're going to have an awesome sweet 16. Is this the best Elite Eight ever? Oh, it's going to be such a good Final Four. But I believe it more this time. If I'm being honest, I'm looking at these matchups because you look at Duke and

And for the last couple weeks, I think a lot of people have been thinking nobody can beat Duke. They just seem like the best all-around team. And you're right, they're fun. The way that they play, it doesn't seem like an old Duke team with a scrappy little point guard that just annoys the shit out of you. They are a very fun team to watch. But I do think that Houston might be able to frustrate them. I think they're so physical and they're so good at rebounding, they might be able to frustrate Duke a little bit the same way that Duke frustrated Alabama.

PFT, you're right. And to address the elephant in the room, that Cinderella's carriage was not available in this NCAA tournament. I don't know if it was at the gas station. I'm not sure what was going on, but the carriage was nowhere to be found. It's still a pumpkin right now. I am confident in saying, and I'll apologize if I'm wrong, because accountability is everything. I'm confident in saying that that carriage will have the gas tank revved up

And you're going to hear all these Cinderella candidates next year. You know what they've heard? They will have heard for a straight year that they can't do it. You don't have enough money. There's not enough of that in their wallet. And so that's what it comes down to. It's basketball. Colorado State's a missed shot away from being in the Sweet 16. What happens in the year that Drake and McNeese are in the same pod and both win their first round game?

It's the tournament. We've only seen this one other time. It could have been easy for like an Ole Miss or a Texas Tech to be among the final four. Like seriously, Texas Tech should be in the final four. They totally unraveled. The fact that we're getting this, let's appreciate it for what it's worth. As for Houston and Duke, PFT, you're right. Houston plays like a football team.

They get up in you from the moment you get off the bus. They are relentless defensively, but they've always been that way. They've always been able to frustrate teams with the level at which they guard. What makes this Houston team different is this is Kelvin's best shot-making team that he's had.

If it's not LJ Cryer, it could be Milo Shuzan. If it's not Shuzan, it could be Emmanuel Sharp. And how about Sharp, guys? When their league gets cut to 10 against Tennessee and the Vowel fans were making a lot of noise, Sharp says...

Not happening. It closes with two daggers back to back in your eye hole. Say goodnight. Yeah. That's the Houston difference this year that I think we haven't seen in the past. It is crazy to put into perspective how good this final four is that Duke looks like the best team.

Auburn is the number one seed. Florida has probably been the hottest team the way they went through the SEC championship and then, you know, have gone to the final four here. And then Houston, which I think most casual people would be like, oh, they're the fourth best team here. Houston has lost one single game in regulation this year, and it was to Auburn, who's also in the final four. That's how good these teams are. It's really, it is historic. You know,

Are you worried, though? Have you been talking to people in the college basketball community that the NIL and transfer portal is maybe this year is going to be more the norm going forward? Or is this an anomaly that, hey, look, it just happened that we had four incredible teams and there weren't those crazy upsets in the first round? Well, I think that because we're in the moment, I'd be lying to say that it's not –

concerning to look at. That being said, in 2015 and 2016, the only non-high major to make the Sweet 16 was Gonzaga. And they are a high major. Under Mark Few, for all intents and purposes, they were even top 10 in Kempom this year, even though they didn't have that great of a year. So you have to look at it from this standpoint. The revenue sharing

He's going to – which, provided that it gets passed, actually on the day of the national championship game is the next –

I'm not anywhere – my extent of legal analysis, guys, goes to like Kangaroo Court and Shelly Smith on 6 o'clock SportsCenter in like 2004. That's the length of my legal expertise. But April 7th is the next time that this whole thing – this is when the rev sharing can get put into place in college sports. So my thing is that's going to – first off, what it's going to do is we know what sport comes first in this world, and that's football.

And all these football schools are going to want to spend 16 or 17 million dollars of their of their money of the 20 million. It's roughly 20 million that an athletic department can spend on their athletes. They're going to want to put 80 percent of it up to football because that's the money driving sport. In other words, there's some basketball teams out there who are legitimately concerned about what things are going to look like.

Now, like the Big East, this was out there in the news this week. A conference like that that doesn't have football could have an advantage in the here and now. I think everything's fluid. And I do think we need some regulation. I believe that the sooner that people acknowledge the fact that these kids are professionals, the better off everybody's going to be. They're professionals. They're not student athletes. Get out of here with that crap.

They're getting paid. That's great. They should get paid. But I think there's got to be a dotted line at some point, fellas. Yeah. For both sides. Because this transfer portal stuff, I'm all for transferring. But to me, once you do it two, three times, I just don't see the value in that other than seeking out what you're going to look for monetarily. I don't blame somebody hunting for money. I don't blame them one bit.

But there is something to be said about if you're applying for money, just like we hold pro athletes accountable, like and there's a line here to straddle. But then you have to do something on your end to earn that money. Yeah. And I hope that we can reach a middle ground. Do I think the sport is dying? No, it's not that that take those takes that were flying around last week. It was the most watched first weekend of the tournament since 1993.

This final four could produce, what if it produces, you know, two out of three incredible games? Right. I think there's got to be some regulation. I don't think that there's, you know, an easy path, but I do think there's a path that we'll get to it. I just think we're in a very fluid state right now. And I think in my heart of hearts that in 2026, when we do see Cinderella rev up with two or three candidates in the second weekend, we're going to say, you know what?

The numbers don't lie. Like, again, the bounce of the ball could have led to Florida losing on Saturday night easily. Like, Jani Broome gets hurt and Michigan State wins. You know, he never comes back and they unravel. You never know what can happen in a 40-minute basketball game.

I think we'll get to a point in this whole realm of chaos where we see some more balance and some high competition. I just think this is a generational year, and I don't think that's merely because of how much a team paid players. Right. It comes down to more than that. Yeah. And when you look at the last season, the year before, it was UConn just steamrolling people.

Right.

There's one team just got done playing, Auburn, that I do have a question. You're plugged in as anybody, Johnny. So I'm curious what you've heard about Jani Broome. He came back in. He said he was okay. And then he proceeded to get some rebounds with one arm. He didn't look like – I mean, he was playing with one arm out there at the end of the game. Have you heard anything about him, what the status is? Yeah, well, what we've heard from post-game on and everything that he's done is that down in the jungle –

Bruce Pearl's got some of that magic potion and it's somewhere in the trees. And wherever that potion is, that's going to find, you know, I don't know if it's a needle or a glass of something. And Jani Broome's going to have some of that. And you're going to see Jani Broome ball out in San Antonio. Yeah. This is a situation where you'd have to amputate the leg.

And or the arm for him to not be on the basketball floor. And even then, I think we would see him. I believe that this kid is not. Will he be at 100 percent? I don't know. But who is at this stage? The calendar is about to turn April. I think we're going to see Jani Broome. I have no doubts if he can't. If they with control of the game well in hand, Michigan State, they would have won the game without Broome in the last eight minutes. They would have ended up still winning the game. I firmly believe that.

The fact that he went back in there and that the x-rays were negative, and now he got close to a week to get ready for this Saturday night game, I think we're going to see Broome. And by the way, you just summed it up, PFT, very well. The last two Final Fours, UConn won 12 games by 260 points. Got to be honest with you guys, and I covered it closely. By the end of last year, I appreciate and hail UConn

But UConn's dominance and greatness and what Dan Hurley's built and couldn't agree with your takes on Hurley more. Fact is, people love to hate. I think it's great for the sport. And Gaz is all talking about him and he's unapologetically himself. But by the end of last year, it was like, all right, are we going to get some fresh blood in here? Like this is a little bit like they're just dominating every game. When are we going to get a great game? Right.

What happens if we have an all-time national title game? It's going to keep us ready for next March. Yeah, that's facts. That's facts. All right, so the other thing I wanted to talk about was Kevin Willard officially to Nova. Probably the messiest exit I can remember in the recent memory for a coach.

When was this done? It feels like this has been done for a couple weeks, and it was weird that he was coaching his team. And also, how do you think Kevin Willer is going to do at Nova, especially with just all these weird vibes and how he's going to do in the transfer portal being the new head coach at Villanova? Well, for starters, here's what Villanova has, regardless of who their coach is, an unlimited amount of money

that they can spend on their roster. I mean, we're talking, you know, $8 million, if not more, they're going to be able to dish it out to their players. It's money's not an object of Villanova. It's not. And when you've done what they have done the last decade, albeit Jay Wright defined a lot of that. No question about Jay Wright is Villanova in every way, but I think a good college basketball coach, uh,

However you look at that, whoever that is, is going to be able to get Villanova to the NCAA tournament, making Sweet 16s. And then it depends on the team that you've got from there, depending on what happens. As for Willard, I think things started to sour at Maryland long before even this season. I think he got through his first year and really wasn't all that comfortable, guys. This guy lived in Jersey for...

12 years and lived in the metropolitan area for more than that being at Iona and then Seton Hall. So he was at a place for 12 years, frankly. And I went to Seton Hall. So I was a student when when Kevin was coaching. So I go way back with him. And you know what? He's another guy who whether whether you guys, whether any of us like it or not, whether and I talk with Scott Van Pelt all week about this.

Throughout the past week, he's not going to pull any punches. He laid out there. This is my opinion. He laid out there the things that he felt were bad about Maryland. In essence, Maryland puts football ahead of basketball. I mean, that's what this comes down to is Maryland has a plan.

to keep their football program on the ascent to potentially get into a – to potentially keep creating value for their brand if we get to more and more of a super conference model in college sports, particularly college football. Well, I think that bugged him, and I have it on fairly good authority here that Maryland top-tier people and their coaches –

We're not always communicating. In fact, we're communicating rarely. So you can look at it two ways, guys. One, Willard was ripping on things to see them get fixed. I tend to look at it as, and I'm not saying, I don't think, I think this should have been handled differently. I tend to think of it as he was being critical of all these things to clear a runway for getting out.

Now, that strategy, because they made the Sweet 16, you know, let's face it. Who'd they beat to get to the Sweet 16? Grand Canyon, a down Grand Canyon team, and Colorado State, who, let's face it, Derrick Queen and Maryland are more talented, and they should have lost the game. Credit to them. They found a way to win. Queen made an epic shot, but they were down 20-10 on the gates. They looked disengaged. I don't think anybody...

necessarily planned on them with all that was happening behind the scenes to be there when they started that tournament because the amount of distraction we might have had in our bracket but i i you got the sense that it wasn't in the cards yeah so it's a rough situation but i am going to say this guys maryland is going to get another coach whether it's buzz williams i would call chris beard what about nate oats what about nate oats

Well, they could call Nate Oates, but if I'm Nate Oates, I'm very happy at Alabama. Okay, okay. That's my opinion. Maryland's going to be fine. I think what you've got here is a guy who spent a long time in the metro area

Kind of kid. Look, he's not for everybody. I mean, obviously the internet community is not happy, but Kevin, Kevin is Kevin. That is. That, by the way, what you just said, that means he's an asshole. If you ever have to say someone, someone, and just say their name, that means he's an asshole. That's fine. I'll say, you don't have to say it, but saying like Kevin's Kevin, that's,

He's an asshole. Like when you say Manny being Manny, when he tries to flush down hand towels into the toilet. You run out of things to say about someone who's like, well, yeah, no, he's him. Counterpoint, we do say that's just Bobby Hurley being Bobby Hurley. Or Danny. Bobby Hurley is the name that I would look at. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Yeah, but we also say Danny Hurley's an asshole. Yeah, so...

But that's fine. It all checks out. So it's okay. We'll just – we just editorialized there a little bit. Kevin is Kevin. That's what you said. We just said he's an asshole. Kevin is going to speak what he thinks. And clearly some people at Maryland pissed him off to the point that he said, I'm done with this. My family liked being in the Northeast more anyways. And I'm going to take the Villanova job because when I was in the Big East –

The biggest rival to Jay Wright when Kevin was at Seton Hall was Kevin. Seton Hall handed Villanova their last loss in 2016 before Villanova went on to win the national championship game. Remember the Powell from trend clip when Miles Powell hits that three and Gus Johnson goes, woo, that was against Villanova. That was Willard versus Wright. So I think it's a respect factor there. I think it's the Big East history that they have. I think that, you know, like a Mick Cronin,

like a Hurley who sometimes says it, like a Patino who's Cronin and Willard come from the Patino tree. These guys are going to say what they think, whether you want to believe it or not. And that's what this process was. I will tell you, you know, personal story here. Kevin was at my wedding. Oh, wow. Whoops. Well, we said it. You didn't.

Yeah, there you go. I'm glad that we – I'm glad that we got to talk. You know, I mean, look. Max loves this. Max is – I'm not saying he's an asshole. I'm certainly not saying he's an asshole. He's a great coach. Yeah, but you love him. He's going to bring Villanova back to where we need to be. Was he complaining about the facilities? Yeah. What was he doing? Yeah. Was he like, man, I wish I was at a better wedding right now? No, we serve good wine and we serve good alcohol. It was in –

It was in Clifton, New Jersey. It was a Jersey wedding where the cocktail hour is endless. I know for a fact that he enjoyed cocktail hour. And now he's the coach of Villanova. But Max, I don't know how you feel, but this is my thing too. I think Maryland fans are awesome. I think Maryland has awesome potential. But I don't know, Maryland. Clearly there was a falling out between the powers that be and your coach and

And maybe there's something to look at there from the powers that be. Like right now you've got an interim AD, okay? You're kind of in a state of turmoil. That goes beyond just the basketball program. Like know who you want to be. Yeah. Know who you want to be. I'm not getting in a swimsuit model edition. Know who the fuck you want to be, okay? If I'm looking at a Chick-fil-A and a Just Salad, you know where I'm going. Yeah.

Come on, this isn't hard. Yeah. Well, it's just like a lot of these schools have this dilemma of like, well, we want to be great at football.

But you're never going to beat Georgia or Alabama or Ohio State. The sooner that some people figure that out and think, let's figure it out, guys. If Maryland football has their best year and Maryland basketball has their best year, which one's going to produce national buzz? Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. So I'm sorry. I think Max is with me.

I think Max is with me. I'm not throwing a pity party. Maryland, you'll be fine. Kevin did this for him and what his family believes is the best and he has tied to the Big East and so he went down there. I just think it sucked for the fans and the players because it was like that should have been an all-time. They haven't been in Sweet 16 in 10 years. Should have been a very fun run. Getting a second weekend means something in the NCAA tournament. I know it ended poorly, but

it was just taken away because Kevin Willard was giving weird press conferences and acting shady. And he could have, he could have been more direct. He could have said to Will Wade, like, Hey, I'm the Nova coach. And that's just a fact. And I'm going to coach these guys as hard as I can, but I'll be coaching Villanova in a week. Right. But I would, I would counter and say, I like this debate. Who's the reason why Maryland was in their first sweet 16 since 2016. And who recruited him.

probably some guy on Kevin Willard's staff. We're being honest. A big paper bag. Yeah. We're being honest. Probably not Kevin Willard himself. Um,

Yeah, no, I just thought he could have handled it better, but it is what it is. Guys are going to take jobs like that. Do you like my idea, John, that if a coach leaves in bad form like this, they should mandatory have to play at their old school until they beat them? So Kevin Willard should have to go play an away game at Maryland every single year until he beats Maryland. All for it. Okay, good. All for it. Uniform. I'm all for that rule.

the more juice in the regular season, the better. Why not? Let's do it. Yeah. And also make guys think twice. They're like, Oh shit. Now I got to go. Like if I'm leaving one place, I got to go play this, these guys every single time. And the Ed Cooley going back to Providence was great. And we, I just want that more. I want it to be just, Hey, this is, you could, you could,

get it all. You do a whole week where it's like, here's where all the guys, you know, Darren DeVries going back to West Virginia and, and all these guys have to go play in, in front of a hostile crowd for a week in November.

Yeah. Or, or like, I mean, then, then you could go right down the line of like, well, Wade has to go play at McNeese. Yeah. Right. Right. Like you could just do, you could go way down the deep end of different coaching scenarios and people that have leveled up to serve, you know, Ben McCollum has to go play at Drake. They're waiting for him. I mean, Todd Golden has to fly across the country and play a game at San Francisco. Like,

Who knows? Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. Or you do like a protected expansion draft where the school that you go to, you get to protect like three or four guys in the roster, and then the other school gets to take one of those guys. Be like, sorry, you got to go play at Maryland right now. Yeah. See, I –

This is why you, you know, this is adding an extra dimension. I mean, we should have never gotten rid of bracket busters. Yeah. Yeah. Or some version of, of coach killers. Yeah. Coach busters or whatever you want to do. Like let's, let's make it happen in college basketball. I will, if that, if we can make that happen, I'll come to the room.

And watch all the games with you guys on a given day. I love that. I'll watch 12 hours of hoops, and we'll just do it. At the bare minimum, the outgoing coach should have to play, like, two full days of pickup basketball at the university rec center. Yeah. The one that he's leaving. Yeah. So Kevin Willard should have to show up. Yeah. Five on five. You know, get out there for, like, an hour and a half, two hours. Full court run. Call your own fouls. And just let the student body take it out on him. Hey. Or just give his ass beat once.

Three on three. Stephen Hall, intramural champion right here. Let's go. Wow. You got hardware. Hell yes. Inside out basketball. Stay composed. Stay in the half court. Stay under control. Don't screw it up. Know your role. Set screens. Set like don't don't don't set a passive screen.

Yeah, get in there. Get in there. Get in his ass. I'm happy you've taken a jumper. Rico will not be mad at you about that. Drive and kick action slip. By the way, John, I had another question. Are we bringing back officially Child Please? Because you did do that last week. Hadn't heard it in a very long time. Where did that come from? Where in the recesses of your brain you're like, now I'm going to bring back Hard Knocks with Ocho Cinco, Child Please?

I promise you. And this is why I think that we've gotten along now over the past couple of years. None of this is staged or like I don't write. I have no notes in front of me. So we're just like we're BSing. I just I have brought it out. I brought it out when Tony on the boat on the spaces earlier this year wanted to talk about Bryant.

being in the big East and then started of hashtag with the PCBC. That is the Providence fan base hashtag, the interview. Uh, and, uh, you know, they, they wanted, uh, this guy called in and said, I think Brian's auditioning for the big East. So I, I said, Tony,

Child, please. Child, please. That is not happening. I like the phrase. I didn't think in that rant that it would come out. It just popped out. This brain doesn't know where it's going half the time. Do you know how much this brain has had to watch? Every Sunday for me from September to December,

for the better part in the last 29 years, has been one big, child, please. Child, please. I am praying to God that I find a quarterback. Yeah. Praying to God after this tournament.

uh that i could tell you right now the draft night reaction on night one get ready i'm i'm i don't know i don't know i think it's going to be abdul carter which is fine kirk cousins was seen in the west side of cleveland chipotle this past i was going to ask you about that that's two inner two intersecting topics of interest for your old john fanta chipotle kirk cousins what do you think about that yeah

That's fascinating. It makes you wonder what his order was. I think Kirk is genuine. Like Cousins to me is, is another guy who's like probably, you know, really, really intense. Like he definitely is really, really intense and just always here. You know, that's what produced that Washington. You like that in the hallway? Yeah.

I would be good with that. I mean, at the end of the day, Stefanski, what did he do with Joe Flacco? Right. The back half of the season. The people were saying that Kirk's arm is dead and he's washed up and he's done. Well, Frank, let me be completely honest with you. What I watched last season was the epitome of washed up to the tune of two hundred and thirty million dollars.

So I trust my coach. How about Miles Garrett on one side, Abdul Carter on the other? That's nice. And let's play some AFC North football against the last play schedule. Get the dog pound. And let's get some drives going right now. And Jerry Judy finds some separation. Ten, five, touchdown. Cousins to Judy. Miles.

I like that. I love it. I mean, you're making me buy in. I also want to give you the opportunity to address Hank because Hank, obviously a big Celtics fan, he's been very disrespectful to your Cavaliers. He doesn't think about them at all. He doesn't know a single guy on the roster. He's not worried about the Cavaliers, not afraid of you guys at all. So convince Hank, tell him to get in line. Hey, Hank, the hell's wrong with you?

Like, well, what the hell is wrong with you, Hank? Get the hell in line right now. You're not welcome to Cleveland, Ohio, just like Joe Kim Noah. So don't even think about coming in our city. Let me tell you right now, Donovan Mitchell is on a mission.

Darius Garland has taken that next step. Evan Mobley is a defensive specimen who's evolved offensively as well. DeAndre Hunter was the right addition for this basketball team. Jared Allen is Mr. Leader. Ty Jerome's supplying some complimentary shot making. The Cleveland Cavs can make a run at this thing. And I'm telling you right now, if there's an Eastern Conference Finals, I will have my wine and gold.

Ready to go. I'm ready to talk. I might fly to damn Chicago, wherever this show is, and talk to Hank himself in person after meeting with HR about Rico. But then I will talk to Hank.

I will talk to Hank and we will have a candid conversation about why the wine and gold, the Cleveland Cavaliers, that this can be their time. How dare you? Not a single player on the team. I know players on the team. If there's like a seven game series, you get this game seven, you have to come out and stream with Hank. That would be electric.

I got a baby due in May, but you got a deal. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Yeah. No, Hank just is not bothered by the Cavs at all. He doesn't think that you guys have any chance. Listen, he's got the ring. Yeah. Hey, you. If we're healthy, we're not losing. It's really just health. It's like the Cavs are a good team. Good season. Sure. But he just patted you on the head, John. Yeah. See, I don't like that. That to me, that's what I got told a lot of times when trying out for sports teams growing up, Hank.

You guys tried. You tried really hard. He's doing it to you. It's really not an answer that I want to hear. Like, that's the – when you got called in, right? When you got called in when you were trying out for like a – I don't know, you know, a sports team, a role. You're looking for the student council spot. And they call you in and they start by saying, listen, I want to commend you.

You know, I want to, you really, you know, what's about to happen. Yep. Hank just gave me the nice pat on the head, head up to bed because I'm staying up all night because we want a championship and we're going to win another this year. We are. He did that to you. He just did that to you. It's tough. Hey, John, let's talk about the crown. Who's going to win the crown? Also, Kevin Willard should have to coach in the crown.

It's going to be Mike Nardi coaching at the crown for Villanova. Okay. And the Wildcats, they got a shot in this thing. They're facing Colorado as a young team. They can get by. I think Villanova USC on the right side of the bracket would be fascinating. Musbus has his team ready to go.

I think USC on the right side, they're going to come out of this right side of the bracket. I just like the way that they're playing. Desmond Claude is an all-out stud who transferred in from Xavier. And I think next year you're going to see him parlay this into an even bigger season. But the crown should be fascinating. Here's what you should love about the crown.

All right. You got quadruple headers on Monday and Tuesday. So you're having basketball withdrawal. You just got through a bunch of the madness, but you want more of it. You need more of it. You want more daytime hoops. The crown's going to give that to you. And you know, you're going to get some absurd results. Expect the unexpected seeds. We don't need them. Show up in hoop. Boise State, 24 and 10. Tyson Degenhardt, stud.

Kid eats nails for breakfast. Get ready to learn his name. Leon Rice has done a heck of a job with the Boise State Broncos. They go up against the George Washington Revolutionaries. I don't think the country knows how hard that team plays. Fascinating matchup. Butler, they got Jamil Telford and Pierre Brooks. They can make a run in this thing with Coach Mata. We get Fred Hoiberg versus Bobby Hurley in the opening round of this thing. And if you know anything about Bobby Hurley, it's that he's not

going to Vegas to show up and get embarrassed but he's got to go through Bryce Williams, Jawan Gary and company. Georgetown are the Hoyas taking the next step under Ed Cooley because year three is going to be critical for you in the crown year two if you're a first year head coach in a program you know like an Eric Musselman at USC like a Chris Holtman at DePaul or if you're in year two like a Cooley at Georgetown or if you're just trying to bounce back heading into next season

The 2025-26 college hoop season for those in the crown starts right now. Love that. Love that. Can't wait. I love that. So the games do start at, what, 9 a.m. Eastern? No, no. 2 o'clock, right? 2 o'clock Central. I'm seeing 12 p.m. Pacific. 12 p.m. local time. 12 p.m. local time in Vegas.

Like an NCAA tournament set up. Got it. Eastern time, Monday and Tuesday on FS1. You got quarterfinals Wednesday and Thursday. Everybody gets off on Friday and then Saturday. You know what's fun, guys? Mm-hmm.

And in the world that you guys are in to be watching hours of games and, and I know, you know, play a place in your, your friendly wager on, on a ball game, you get to wake up and you don't have to wait for the two final four games. Cause the crown semis are Saturday at one 30 and four Eastern time and the championship game. So the, so the semis are before the final four, they serve as a lead in and the championship game is Sunday,

after the women's championship game in its own window Sunday evening at 5.30. Love that. It's going to be fun. And by the end of the week, you know what? Somebody in Vegas is going to win the inaugural crown. I think we're in for buzzer beaters. I think we're in for some heroes. I think we're in for...

It could make up for some of the tepidness of the early NCAA tournament with some, what the heck is happening in this game? I think we're going to get some of that. I think you're going to get some fun stories. And you know what? College hoops could use a little bit of something different in its postseason format. And this event is going to try and deliver it.

You know what you should do if you could talk to the people who start the crown, if they had it so that the winning team of the crown gets to pick five players that play in the crown tournament to be on their team next year. So they like you're playing for players. That would be sick. That would be awesome. Well, there's up to 500 K. This is the first edition in, in prize money on the lines. These kids are going to be fighting for money to get a cut, you know, of a grand prize and,

And I don't look, I think that there's an openness to all kinds of ideas. How about if you win the crown, you get to pick any opponent in the country that

to host next year. You know, going along the lines of what we were talking about with the coaches who left. Like, you should get a briefcase, money in the bank style, that you get to cash in next year against anybody to secure an NCAA tournament thing. I'm off.

ideas man like let's have fun this is it's more basketball and I don't know about you guys I'm gonna be watching it oh here's an idea if you win the crown you get Kevin Willard's agent and he'll find you a more higher paying job while you currently have a job that's pretty good right that's pretty good at your wedding

Yeah, Brian, you got an extra wedding dance. That's fine. I got a question for you about the coaches that are remaining in the NCAA tournament. We got four great coaches, right? Can you power rank them? Ooh, that's a good question. Wow. Because you have the mix of veterans and the younger guys. You have two guys that are under the age of 40 in John Shire and Todd Golden. You've got Kelvin Sampson.

and you've got Bruce Pearl, I would say today, Pearl would be number one because he's won everywhere he's gone. Now, he hasn't won that national title, but do you remember what Auburn was before he got there? And by the same token, do you remember what Kelvin Sampson has done is one of the more absurd things I think that we've ever seen. Okay, so let's know this stat.

From 1985 to 2013, that's 41 seasons of basketball. Houston went 0-4 in the NCAA tournament. They made four appearances. They didn't win a single game. Single game. In 11 years under Kelvin Sampson since 2014, Houston is 18-6 in the NCAA tournament. Their 15 wins in the last five are the most in college basketball. Three Elite 8s.

Two final fours, six sweet 16s in his tenure. He's made Houston a destination when were you ever thinking about Houston basketball even eight years ago, seven, eight years ago? The answer is no. This has been a decade of excellence. He's had everything that like a Jay Wright had on a run at Villanova with the exception of what? Winning it all. So they have to be one, two.

Shire for me is three with a shot to be one by the end of the week. I think he's a stud. I don't know if you want to hear this or not, but I think he's going to be Mike Krzyzewski 2.0 in terms of the length. Yeah. No, he's going to coach there forever. He'll coach there for 30 years. He's just a relentless competitor. He's got the boozers coming in next year. It's an embarrassment of riches. And then Todd Golden.

I feel terrible putting him fourth, but I'm only putting him fourth because of just the fact that, like, I think that that was a magical comeback behind Walter Clayton. He's embraced the hell out of analytics. Him and Jonathan Sapphire have done an amazing job, but he would be he would round it out at four. OK, it's a great four.

It's a great four. It's a unique four. Yeah, it is. All right. I got one last question for you, John. Thank you for doing this. It's always fun to have you on. It's a rowback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Rowback.com. Promo code TAKE. My last question is San Antonio. What's our plan to not get chipped to death? Because that's the last time the Final Four was in San Antonio. I ate so many tortilla chips.

I felt so sick the entire time. Is there a plan? Well, first and foremost, the amount of tortilla chips you ate, like we've all been there. So you have to take a step back and probably mix it up. I'm going to say...

You need to eat a balanced breakfast to start the day. Okay. Chips. I'm guilty. I'm not a breakfast guy. Yeah. Probably why the subject matter says what it says. I've gone... I'm more lenient towards like the fajitas and just... For me, it's not just the salsa. Where I get in trouble, fellas, on the road of Mexican restaurants...

is when the queso fundido comes out because that's a one seed in my book. Yeah, it is. It is a special, special type of appetizer at a Mexican restaurant. And that just hits more chips because I go salsa chips and then they bring out like a guac or queso and I'm like, oh, let me just rechip it. No, you know when you're watching like a college football game and they're just rushing down the field? Yeah. When we're halfway through the first batch of tortilla chips in San Antonio, this is me on the sidelines calling the next play.

Yeah, like run it, run it. Come on, let's go. Get it out here. Yeah, Patrick Mahomes, I'm doing this to the waiter. Yeah, give me the chips. I lived in Austin for about 10 years. My game plan was similar. Here's how you don't get chipped to death. The first time the waiter comes out, you order the apps and the entrees at the same time.

And you get the entrees out there ASAP. Because otherwise, you're going to be eating chips before the entrees come out. Your bowl's deep in salsa, and you haven't even seen a thing of guacamole yet. Then they bring the guacamole out. Now you're eating chips on that. And then you put in your order, and it takes another 10 minutes. And then the enchiladas come out. And by that time, you want to tap out. You want to put the order of the enchis in right when they come over the first time to get the drink order and get the appetizer order. Otherwise, you're done. Okay.

But then you better go into the restaurant sober enough to remember that whole plan. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. San Antonio, the Riverwalk is a land of margaritas. Yep. I mean, you could just be taking a slight left turn and you land inside of a bar and...

You've got the music vibing and you see the house Marg. And by the way, if they ask you salted or unsalted next weekend, come on now. Yeah. Come on. That's not even a question. It's, it's a salt and it's not even, we're not even thinking about it twice. PFT. I like your strategy.

I can't say I'm always going to be practicing it because I can't get enough of some San Antonio tortilla chips. And we haven't been back there for a final four since 2018. So let's ride big cat. I don't care how many chips we have. It's the final four. It's four, one seeds. And if we end up doing some damage in the river walk, it is what it is. Yes. Love it. Well, John, thank you so much. Can't wait to see you there. I think we're doing two live shows and I think you're going to come stop by for one of them. You'll see Bosco, uh,

You're the best, and let's get ready for a great Final Four. You guys are the best. Thanks for having me. Enjoy the madness. Let's ride. John Fanta was brought to you by our great friends over at TaxAct.

Can you believe we're at the end of March and your taxes are due on April 15th? Hank, do you have any tips? Yeah, it's crunch time. If you've waited this long, you've made a mistake. But thankfully, the good friends over at TaxAct have the perfect tools to help you get your taxes done on time. That's right. What's that website, Hank? TaxAct.com. It's 100% credentialed, 100% U.S.-based. They know the ins and the outs of the tax laws.

You can get the answers that you need starting at $20. If you need a little help or a lot, they can answer all types of tax-related questions. It's crunch time. You want to get it right. TaxAct makes it easy so you can get them over with and be done for the season. TaxAct.com.

John Fanta was also brought to you by Reese's. Reese's peanut butter cups are the perfect combo of chocolate and peanut butter. You can buy Reese's cups basically anywhere. Feed your fandom. Reese's cups are the perfect complement to the chaos of March. A drool-worthy combination of chocolate and peanut butter to go wild for. Okay, so I kept track of my Reese's over the last two days. So four college basketball games. You know how many packs of, four packs of Reese's I had.

How many? 12. Wow. I had 12. Love that. Love that for you. Did some damage out there, boys. It was a lot of Reese's. It was awesome. I love Reese's. I love it too. Chocolate, peanut butter, chocolate.

It's mouthwatering. Chocolate and peanut butter Reese's cups are a winning part of the game day experience. Eat Reese's peanut butter cups. Feed your fandom. Wait, so you had 12 cups or 48 cups? I had a total of 48 cups. Love that. That's awesome. Some of them were from like handouts. Yeah. Like you take one or you take two. Had 48 Reese's cups. Love that. Love that. Okay. Let's wrap up. We got Monday reading. Can you pull it up, Max? Can you zoom? I can't zoom.

You said that in such a sad way. Yeah, very sad. All right, so this is... Let me just say before we get into this, we don't condone crimes. It depends on... Because one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. Right. Okay, we don't condone... We don't think crimes are funny. We don't condone bad crimes. Right. Against...

Good people. But there are parts of rooting for sports where every sports fan knows this. You're like, oh, well, the player I root for did something bad. What do I do? Well, a person on the Maryland message boards said,

has broken it down in a very scientific way. And I thought it would be a good Monday reading because he's kind of saying the quiet part out loud. Again, we don't condone this, but it is also a good Monday reading. So here it is. Head coach crime rankings. Important. Long.

Good afternoon, all. Since we are actively discussing coaching candidates, I thought it was important to publish the official crime forgiveness graph. In discussing our new coaching candidates, it's important to remember that these people represent the University of Maryland, and there are off-the-court factors with these candidates. As sports fans, it's part of the job to ignore... I like this part. As sports fans, it's part of the job to ignore or downplay what happens off the field. Yep.

That is a sports fan. It is a big part of rooting for a team, for sure. We've rooted for murderers, rapists, wife beaters, drunks, and criminals, but the true determining factor of who we root for is largely based on their ability...

relative to the severity of their crimes. This is really like he's basically just made a graph of how every NFL team operates in terms of whether they should cut someone or not. Are you still good? Yeah. So Justin Tucker, your job is probably in jeopardy. Yeah. So here's the example he uses because it's a Maryland blog. So you use Raven's example. For example,

Terrell Suggs assaulted his girlfriend and poured bleach on her in 2009. However, he had just finished his fourth Pro Bowl season and was a major component of an outstanding Ravens defense. What did we do as fans? We cheered on our guy T-Sizzle, ball so hard university. Conversely, Ray Rice assaulted his wife on camera after averaging just 3.1 yards per carry in 2013. This was a vicious assault and we no longer wanted to see him on the field. Mm-hmm.

It's basically just mocking how all dumb fans think and this is the truth. Well, also, depending on how good he is, fans develop like...

More of an understanding of the law. Right. So if he's a superstar, you get balls deep in all the penal codes and you become his lawyer and you figure out why on a technicality this actually isn't bad. Right. And also... And if he sucks, you don't look into it at all. You're just like guilty. Right. And also fans will oftentimes really heavily rely on

civil cases being dropped or criminal charges being dropped and then having it be in civil court and having it being settled. Yes. And she's like, well, never charged. It got settled. Settled in civil court, never did anything wrong. And there's probably an NDA. Yeah. So that means that he's clear. There's many. No admission of guilt. Yeah, no admission of guilt. So stop saying alleged. Okay.

Okay, so he has created a graph to demonstrate how this works, and it has all these guys on a graph where their tournament ceiling and what...

They potentially have done so. Like, for instance, Dwayne Simpkins has been eliminated from consideration for the Maryland job due to his non-existent tournament ceiling and his parking tickets from the 1990s. You can't have that. We're looking for integrity with our program.

Tony Skin has been eliminated from consideration due to his low tournament ceiling and the one time I saw him cross the street in Fairfax with no crosswalk present. So this is good. This is where the graph goes that parking tickets, if you suck as a coach and you have parking tickets, morally you cannot hire this guy. Mm-hmm.

As you see in the graph, Kevin Willard should have been eliminated from consideration due to his 2004 DUI and his Sweet 16 tournament ceiling. So they probably should never have hired Kevin Willard. Yeah, that's in retrospect bad choice. This is like when Lincoln Chafee ran for president and his scandal was that he used taxpayer funds to purchase frogs for his office. And everybody was like, we can't have that guy leading America. Yeah. Okay, so this is where things get interesting.

Buzz Williams is better than Kevin Willard and would be permitted to have his job after receiving at least one DUI due to his Elite Eight ceiling. So Buzz Williams has an Elite Eight ceiling. If he gets a DUI, then he can stay ahead of Kevin Willard.

Todd Gold... Mike Gundy has done that thousands of times. Yeah. And he still has a job. Todd Golden is likely a likely alleged sexual predator with a Final Four ceiling. This is a borderline case that his ceiling may be, in fact, be a champion. So they're going to find out... This is how they're finding out their next... If Todd Golden can apply for the Maryland job. Yeah. If he wins a championship, then he is allowed to stalk. Yeah. And then finally, this person wrote, Nate Oates can kill my mother in front of me and he can still have the job. He might...

For a McDonald's All-American, you might. Yeah. So, too long, didn't read. Do not make concessions on the moral failings of a coach who is not good enough to excuse their actions.

He basically just said the whole thing that every fan base is going through right now. Yeah, the Florida investigation was like, tell us your record again this year, Mr. Golden. It's the sad part of sports, but it's funny that he put it on a graph. I've never seen it on a graph before. It is a good graph, and it does check out. This is also where the state of Maryland fan base right now. You got to laugh. Sometimes you just got to laugh. You got to laugh through it. You got to just be like, hey, you know what?

We've got to find a way to get a coach. Who are they going to hire? I want Maryland to get a great coach. I want Maryland basketball to be great. Yeah. It's good for the sport. What were you going to say, Max? Nothing. I was just laughing. I was just reading and laughing. Do you not? What do you think about your coach having a 2004 DUI? Sweet 16. No, these guys are biased. My question is, how drunk was he? Yeah. And also, if he hadn't gone to the Sweet 16 this year, would he have been eliminated? Yeah. Was it an elite .08? That was so long ago.

2004 wasn't that long ago. 2004? That's over 20 years. His DUI could legally drink right now. Yes, that's a fact. That rocks. Yeah, so this is the state of Maryland basketball right now. They're not in the best place. I stand with them, though. I do, too. I feel bad. Everything sucks for them so bad right now. Like, to have this. And then also, the transfer portal is just about to get kicked up into gear, and you can't have this happen. No. No.

Hank, are you going to get your old Dookie fandom back for a week? They're so good, dude. They're so tall. I have a Houston future from now. They are so tall, but also Mark Sears was just so small. How tall is LJ Cryer? I don't know. Let me look it up. That's going to make a big difference. Yeah, Mark Sears was so, so small. I also don't think the Final Four games are going to be that good. Way to shit on everyone, Hank. Damn, Hank. I'm sorry.

Why would you say that? I don't think the Masters are going to be that good, Hank. Yep. Agreed. NBA playoffs are going to suck. That would just mean that the Celtics are going to roll. I'm fine with that. It's going to be Cavs-Rockets. You're going to hate it. That would suck. Yeah, there you go. That's what's going to happen. Cavs-Rockets. I don't think so. Okay. All right. Cavs-Lakers. Lakers in four. Oh, man. What if this is the year? What if this is the year that we get Duke-Lakers?

National Championship, Lakers, Yankees World Series. With the bats? The Cowboys Super Bowl. Well, the Cowboys part. That's not going to happen. It would be Chiefs. Did you see there was a fake rumor that the Browns were going to trade for Dak Prescott? I did. Now it's very funny. You know how I found out about the fake rumor? How? I walked into the office yesterday and Jerry asked me, have you heard the news about Dak? And I said, what news? He's going to be traded to the Browns. I said, where'd you hear that? He's like, internet accounts. And I was like, the aggregators? He's like, yeah, but it's everywhere.

Dak Prescott has an ironclad no trade clause. He's not going to be traded anywhere. You're stuck with him, Dallas. That was one of those rumors that you just... I saw it and I didn't even... I didn't even have to look to see if the account was fake. I was like, I know this is fake. There's just no way they're going to do that. What if they got... What do they call Dak? The Black Kirk Cousins? What if they got the Black Kirk Cousins and the white Dak Prescott on the same team? That'd be sick. Okay. Good show, boys.

Should we do numbers? Three. Four. One. Memes, where were you on that? I was fixing the camera. I'll go 44. 65. Max, are you done bringing your dog in every day? Billy. Yeah. If you hate him so much as a pitcher, why'd you name your dog after him, Max? My dog's name is Billy. Nola, right? My dog's name is Billy. Nola. Nola. I don't hate Nola. You hate Nola. I like seeing your dog here. Your dog is very cute. She's cute. She's just scared. Scared of what?

of pug I guess right now does she only not like dudes

What'd you say? She doesn't like all the dudes that I've seen. She doesn't like most people. She actually likes memes, though. Pug. That's weird. Pug. Different breeds. Different breeds. Pug, Max, talk shit about Seton Hall here without you around. Yeah, it's not a surprise. Yeah. Willard's going to screw him over in three years. Love that. It's what he does. He does well, and then he'll screw you over and leave. Okay, say the numbers again. Three. 44. One. Did I say 65? 65.

I think I did. 65. 99. 15. 21. 69. Speaking of Billy. 69. Love you guys. With reliable connectivity, enhanced cybersecurity, and advanced fiber solutions, Comcast Business helps turn today's small businesses into engines of modern business.

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