NFL Week 4 Picks and Preview, TNF Needs More Flags + Paul Bissonnette and Ryan Whitney In Studio
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On today's Pardon My Take...

It is NFL week four picks and preview. We have our good friends Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonnette in studio as well for an awesome interview. Catching up with the boys. We're going to talk Thursday night football. Last game, last baseball game in Oakland today. And we're going to finish off with Firefest of the Week. Before we get to all of that,

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Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by DraftKings. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code TAKE. That's code TAKE for new customers to get $200 in bonus bets when you bet just $5 only on DraftKings. The crown is yours. Today is Friday, September 27th. In PFT, we have arrived at the shitty Thursday night football games where everyone gets injured and we have a ton of flags. Yeah, at the very end of the game, it was almost back-to-back plays where Micah Parsons out.

and then you had neighbors going out too, and that was bad. Neighbors was breaking ankles out there. He played an awesome game. He's still very good. I think he's got a concussion. That's what they say. I don't know what's wrong with Parsons, but the flags were bad. The flags made this game unwatchable. And credit to Al Michaels. He gets a lot of shit if he doesn't celebrate a touchdown hard enough, but when Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football.

ball yes and he was so annoyed he gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half he was just like this is awful yeah this is terrible kirk get me out of here and i agreed with him it was it was terrible um we had an awful taunting flag on cd lamb yep for pointing at a defender as he ran to the end zone then i think he threw the ball kind of in his direction like underhand after he scored and the thought occurred to me for the first time when i saw that

It's actually worse. It's more emasculating for a defender to have a referee step in and throw a flag and be like, hey, stop making fun of that guy. I'm going to throw a flag at you. That's worse than a guy pointing at you as you go into the end zone. I'd agree. It draws way more attention to it. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, you need this little referee with his tiny little flag to throw it in the air and blow his

The ref is taunting more than CeeDee Lamb in this situation. Exactly. Let the boys taunt. Yes, I agree. Always let the boys taunt. But it dawned on me that we go through the week one Thursday night opener. Football's back. So happy football's back. Week two, oh, Thursday night, this is fun. And then you get to three or four and you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot. Thursday night football, we're going to watch it.

We're going to consume it every Thursday because it's the official start of the weekend. Sorry, Hank, but it is. It's the start of the weekend in the fall. But...

For the most part, it's going to be a shitty product, and you just hope a bunch of guys don't get injured, which happened tonight. We also had Micah Parsons giving Diggs a massage on the field instantly. I love that. Great teammate. Diggs went down, and then Micah over there started rubbing his foot. We know that Micah's a foot guy. That's on the record. And then he moved up to the calf, started giving a nice little massage. If I were Diggs, I would...

Would you prefer to wait for that doctor with a cowboy hat to get out there to give you the massage, or are you okay with mycodone? I think you want it right away if you're cramping, which I assume that's what was happening. Yeah. That would be really bad if it was...

Like an Achilles and he was doing that. Or like a real injury and he was like, I got this. It's a partial tear. And then Micah gets out there with his strong ass hands and just shreds it. I just assumed it was a cramp, which that is a bro move. Yeah, but you're right. Let me get this cramp out real quick. You're right. The Thursday night football, it reminds me of that old Donald Trump tweet about Coca-Cola. And he's talking about Diet Coke. And he says the Coca-Cola company is not happy with me. That's okay. I'll keep drinking that garbage.

Yeah, that's how I feel about Thursday Night Football. I'm going to watch it, no matter what. We also had, so we're going to get to our picks and preview in a second. Last A's game in Oakland, which was awesome. Fuck John Fisher. It was cool to see the stadium completely packed. They won, which I'm happy for, even though we've lost a lot of money betting on the A's this year. A lot. A lot. I think we're down like 15 units. I think it's around 16 right now. And that's bad.

But it's even worse knowing that we almost picked the White Sox. Yeah. And how much money we would have made. It was down to those two teams. We just went door two instead of door one. And I didn't want to piss off Chicago. I like Chicago. I know. And then I talked to White Sox Dave. He's like, I don't know. I think they've got some real competitive players out there. And then I'm like, okay, I guess I won't do it to Chicago anymore.

We would have made so much money. And White Sox fans would have been happy. I know. Jerry Reinsdorf's a piece of shit. We fucked up. But yeah, it was really cool to see that scene. It was. It was a packed stadium. Their uniforms are a top baseball uniform. They had a bunch of old legends out. Barry Zito sang the national anthem, which was cool. So again, fuck John Fisher forever. Oakland deserved better. Yeah. And we stand with the A's. And I also stand with the fan who...

I think it was last night, tried to steal one of the seats from the Coliseum. Yeah. He stole an actual seat and then ran down the street with it. And then I think A's security called the cops and had him chased down. Let him steal the seat. I guess there's an unaffiliated team maybe playing there next year. The Oakland Roots. Because I saw someone stole a seat in the Oakland. Oh, it's a soccer team. The Oakland Roots.

tweeted and were like, hey, just a heads up, we're playing there next year. If you could keep some of those seats, we'd really appreciate it. Keep some of them. But let the boys have some fun. Steal a seat. That's always good. And then, you know what I hope they do next year? You know how they used to have the Raiders play at the Coliseum? Yeah. I hope that the soccer field still has the baseball field. That would be awesome. Yeah, just keep that on there. Yeah, so we feel for the city of Oakland. And then we also had Golf Hank.

No one's actually mad about Scotty Sheffler yelling at Tom Kim, right? That was awesome. Yeah, that was awesome. Some people were mad that Tom Kim, I think the next hole they hit a birdie putt and before Scotty Sheffler putted, Tom Kim and his partner just walked off. Oh, that's good. Dude, these international tournaments should have nothing but bad blood. It should always be like close to fight, which would not be a fight because they're golfers. Who are we winning?

dominating five we are five oh sweep clean sweep how'd max do one love it yeah everyone won how did scotty do one who lost nope internationals oh it's five oh five five oh yeah fuck you world we're up five oh five oh so is it over pretty much

I love that. What a domination. I love more than anything. I love it when the United States dominates tournaments that we don't give a fuck about. Yeah. And the rest of the world cares deeply. What about Cantley and Shoffley? One. Okay. What about Morikawa and Tagawa? One. What about Brian Harmon and Max Homa? These are tomorrow's pairings, I think. Shit. But we're going to win that. Yeah, we're going to win that. How many wins do we have to get to win?

I think it's like 13 and a half if it's like the Ryder Cup. What about Henley and Scheffler? We haven't lost those or tomorrow's. No, that's today. One. What about Bradley and Clark? One. What about Cantley and Sam Burns? One. Fuck yeah, we won them all. Just checking to make sure. Max didn't play today, so to correct Hank. Well, he was a member of Team USA. He won. Oh, but okay. He really won five. He won.

Everybody wins. So Max is playing tomorrow. Yes. Okay. And he's going to win. He better win. First to 15 and a half points wins the President's Cup. So yeah, we could win this whole thing. No, we can't win it all tomorrow, but we're going to. We'd be up 10-0. And then Saturday is singles. Sunday singles.

So we can't win it on Saturday. We can be at 15. We really don't know the layout of this tournament. If it was the summer, I'd be a lot more locked in. Yeah, I agree. You're always locked in in the summer. Why weren't you locked in on the golf today? I was busy.

That's a trick question. Hank was locked in on golf today. He played well. No, the golf. Yeah. All right. Anything else before we get to pick some preview? I mean, I just want to clarify. Hank played well today, but we still beat him. Oh, fuck yes. Yeah, he still lost. PFT and his partner. Yeah. Ebo. No, say it. PFT and my partner. No, PFT. One. There you go. Oh.

There you go. By the way, quick note, we're going to do our picks and preview in a second. And then we have Biz and Wit on the show. This week they're doing Surviving Barstool at the office.

The interview is going to be our first ever black and white interview. So if you're watching it, it is art. We wanted to make sure that no one had a chance to be like, oh, this is a spoiler. This is a spoiler. So enjoy it. They will probably never do a black and white interview ever again. Well, I don't know. This shit might get us nominated for some cool prestigious award. That's true. Look really cool. Yeah, it is. Mad Men. It is really cool. And watch all the way through for the surprise at the end.

Oh, yeah. There was a great special guest. Also, I forgot to bring this up. We're talking about Thursday Night Football. Big Cat, I don't know if you caught this. I don't know if you're at a TV with sound on in the first half. Maybe it was a start of the second half. But Al Michaels told a story about Mike McCarthy that I'd never heard before. Okay. You know what Mike McCarthy's first job was?

Mechanic He was a toll booth operator Perfect And I think the face stuck on him I think he's just got resting toll booth face now That's perfect Just sitting there for hours Just pissed off at the world He's the perfect demeanor for a toll booth operator No offense to toll booth operators Yeah there are There's usually one per plaza In case you get stuck in one And the arm doesn't go up They come over and press the button Yeah they probably do

You think so? Yeah, I think they do. I mean, it was back when I was in high school or younger when minimum wage wasn't as high, but I remember minimum wage was $8, and they were like, toll booth operators make like $18 an hour. That's pretty good. Toll booth willy. Also, whoa, here we go. Yeah, $15.85. $15.85.

It says now between $12.50 and $25.95. $25 an hour. Shout out. I bet you there's some toll booth operators listening to this show. Yeah. What's up? And you can skim off the top. We see you. It's probably the easiest job to just pocket a little money at, right? Yeah. A little falls through the cracks. Yeah. Okay. Let's get to ourselves, picks and preview, and then we have our first ever black and white interview with Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonette. Okay.

Okay, before we get to our weekend preview, football season is here and we can't wait to get out to some games this fall with the help of GameTime, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports. You know how much we love GameTime now with their brand new GameTime Picks features. They're making it even easier to get to a game. GameTime Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets to

Hank, we were looking at going to Detroit Monday night. Monday night football in Detroit. Seahawks at Lions. What is the best get-in price with the game-time picks deal? $123. Oh, that's pretty good. Top 5% value. Amazing deal. Hang out next to Sprinkles. I actually completely forgot to tell you guys. Superfan said Sprinkles hasn't been to a game this year yet.

Is she okay? I don't know, but I forgot. I'm happy you mentioned that. I forgot to tell you we should find sprinkles. So go to Game Time right now, choose an event, and hit that Game Time Picks, GT Picks, setting at the top of the screen, or browse the best local Game Time Pick deals near you on the Game Time app homepage. What are you waiting for? Someone's going to go buy those tickets right now for $120 to the Lions and Seahawks Monday Night Football. Download the Game Time app today. Use code PMT to easily score great deals with the new Game Time Picks. What time is it? Game Time.

Game time. We're also brought to you by ourselves. Pardon My Cheese Steak. It is football season. Football's back. Full gear. And ordering Pardon My Cheese Steak in your game day meal or late night eats is the best way play call you can make. Pardon My Cheese Steak brings you awesome cheese steaks and loaded fries delivered right to your doorstep. And we'll be offering free delivery through the entire football season. Take your pick.

We'll be right back.

Okay, boys. Week four. You were just talking about Dan Campbell a second ago. That reminded me of his post-game thing where he was saying their head coach screwed up. Yeah. You know how he dissociated. Yeah, yeah. He split himself up.

I actually was thinking the other day, that's going to be good for the Lions because now head coach Dan Campbell is going to be thinking about post-game Dan Campbell, and he's not going to want to let post-game Dan Campbell down. So it's almost like he's coaching himself up, and he's an accountability guy. So he's like, I love Dan Campbell so much as a coach. I can't screw up during the game. He's coaching a version of his – it's like his son, but it's him –

And it's his best friend, but it's also him. Kind of like an avatar. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to... By the way, did you see there was an update to the Dan Campbell having to sell his house? So it was kind of a fucked up story. His daughter's classmate posted his address after they lost the 49ers to the NFC Championship game and said, like, fuck you for going for it. That's messed up. Messed up. How old? That's messed up. High school, I think. Oh.

And then the real issue was that Dan Campbell and his wife were still in San Francisco, and people started showing up to their house when his daughter was home that night after the loss and honking and stuff. We need to get those, you know those, is it the Hell's Angels, the motorcycle gangs that show up whenever the Westboro Baptist Church is protesting? Yeah, David Wells' friends. The angels? Yeah. Have the people with the giant angel wings standing outside Dan Campbell's house protect that thing. I like that.

I like that. But yeah, it's fucked up. Dickhead move. That's what happens when you don't have a full picture of the history of the Lions when you're a high school student. Yeah. And all you've known for the last couple years is optimism. Yeah. And success. You don't want to go back. Also, what happened when you don't understand analytics? True. Because like...

Some of those were analytic play and also Dan Campbell, like he was going off vibes. Actually, that guy didn't know ball because he probably didn't watch the Lions all season. Also, Josh Reynolds should have made that catch. That's also true. Okay. Week four.

It is. I still do treat week four as the end of the first quarter, even though we have 17 games, 18 weeks now. I don't know why. It just will never get out of my head. Me too, but I think it's because I grew up listening to Joe Gibbs. You grew up listening to Lovie Smith. Lovie Smith. And those were two big guys that were into splitting the season up. First quarter. Yeah, four quarters. Yeah. Yeah.

So, week four. I can't believe we're already here. Week four. I feel like this is the week where, after week four, we have a big enough sample size to know what's a fluke and what's not. Also, after week four, there's buys. Oh, shit. Yeah. So that's always fucked up. Like, oh, shit. We're in buy weeks? Yeah. So just before we get to each game, this is Hank. You have been doing your Hungry Dogs for a few years now. It's been...

this year. So underdogs of seven plus points to start the season are four and oh straight up. The first time dogs of seven plus or above 500 straight up through three weeks since 1956. Yeah. So if you look at the first three weeks, um, the biggest underdog of the week has won, has won. Uh, the Patriots won in week one. They were eight point underdogs. The Raiders won against the Ravens week two. They were nine point underdogs. And then the commanders won in week three. There were seven and a half point underdogs.

Point underdogs. It's the first time in 70 years that's happened. Is this just simply that we are overrating the AFC North?

That is a possibility. Because that was Bengals, Ravens, Bengals. That is a possibility. Or maybe we're just overrating the Bengals. Yeah. No, that can't be it. They're good. No? Their defense is good. No, because the Ravens lost, too. So, yeah, it's just an overrate. We put too much respect on the AFC Norse name. But you know what? I'm fine with that. That division is football. Yeah, they are. I respect that division. They're the definition of football. Yeah, and NFL underdogs, six plus points, are now 12-1 against the spread.

through three weeks. That's crazy. If you're a betting man, which I think some people on this podcast are, biggest underdog this week, you know who it is? Hanks Patriots again. Ooh. What is it, 10 and a half? Get right game? 10 right now. 10. Okay, let's get into some games. Good slate. Good mix. Saints and Falcons to start. Excited for this game. I do think I like the Falcons in this game. I'll give you two reasons why I like the Falcons in this game. One,

I think the Falcons played like that game against the Chiefs. They were very, very close to winning. And it felt like it felt like whatever happened at the end of the Eagles game. Maybe the Falcons found a little bit of something.

And I think the Saints are banged up and are coming back down to earth. So they have centers out and Cesar Ruiz, their right guard is out. And I just, I like the Falcons. I like the Falcons. So the Falcons also have, I believe, two linemen that are at this game. And we did a bad job at the end of the Chiefs-Falcons game. Hand up. We were recording as the game was ending, which is always, it's tough for us because we're trying to actually talk about the other games while keeping an eye on the Sunday night game.

And for all the shit that we talked about Chiefs derangement syndrome after week one when Bengals fans were doing the screenshots of the still frame of the pass interference that was actually pass interference. Yeah. The Falcons had a completely legitimate gripe.

against the Chiefs at the end of Sunday Night Football for that pass interference in the end zone. Correct. You got fucked on that. So I just wanted to make sure that we said that out loud. But that's how they get you with the Chiefs derangement syndrome. The teams that complain too much about the – they cry wolf about the other calls. And then when it really happens, sometimes it slides under the radar. You had every right to complain about that if you're a Falcons fan.

And also complain about your stretch run on fourth down. Yes, also complain about that. Now part of that is that Kirk is definitely limited with his mobility right now. Of course. So they know that he's not going to keep it. He's not going to bootleg out. He's going to stay relatively stationary. But that's usually when Kirk Cousins is at his best. He doesn't have to move too much. I just like them in this game because I think the Saints are going to struggle with the offensive line issues and the Falcons offensively.

Have you seen, it's like the tired wired, tired is Bijan Robinson making incredible cuts and juke moves. Wired is Bijan Robinson just blowing up people in the blocking game. He's such a good blocker. Dude, I love running back pass protection. It's,

Awesome. There's nothing better than seeing a running back just lay out a lineman. Because they're always underdogs by nature in that setting. The guy who they're going to block is going to be bigger than them every single time. And he had a couple. There was one in the Eagles game where he blew someone up. I think he had one in the Falcons game. So, yeah, Bijan, maybe blocker of the year. I love that. Should he get a vote? For blocker of the year? All pro at lineman? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. They should give a vote or they should give a Pro Bowl position to just a blocking back just for third down. Yeah. So that's my new Bijan Robinson. I love watching Bijan Robinson. I've added just watching him block people as well.

So this is also kind of a revenge game for the Falcons. Because if you remember last year, the way that the Saints-Falcons game ended, that was when the Falcons were getting beaten pretty badly. I'd like to forget every Desmond Ritter game, but go ahead. And Jameis Winston did the handoff at the end. The victory formation handoff. That was for the Vots. Which Jameis was being a good teammate and trying to get his boy a touchdown. Yeah.

But the Falcons were pissed off about that. I don't think that is a revenge game just because that was a Jameis going rogue. Yeah. And he's not on the Saints anymore.

I think they can use it. Yeah. I think they can use it. I think Raheem Morris might dial it up at least one time in film session this week. Like, look what they think about you. But they might, like, I would imagine if you asked, if you tried to get a Kirk, if you tried to get Kirk Cousins to buy in on the revenge factor, he'd be like, no, Jameis is a, you know, he's a God-fearing man just like me. He stands up in front of the team. I respect him. Hey, guys, let's turn the other cheek. Yeah, right. Exactly. He's not a revenge type of guy. Yeah. But maybe the defense is. Maybe the defense is. Yes, that's true.

I also think just the way that Jameis has been a star and so funny, you can never stay mad at him. Of course not. You can never stay mad at him. Of course not. You just can't. Okay. Next up, big game, huge game. Vikings at Packers. Jordan Love might be back. Yeah. I believe he's going to be back.

I'm intending on him being back. I think he's going to be back. He practiced. There were rumors that he was doing walkthroughs and shit last week. He was actually practicing this week. I think he's going to be back. So as much as I would love one more opportunity to bet against Malik Willis, it's been very financially productive for me. Yeah. I don't think I'm going to get that this week. Now, I think I'm 100% in on the Vikings.

Okay, that's funny because I have the exact opposite thought. I think I'm in on them. I don't think what they're doing is a fluke. I think that their defense is really confusing, and I think that Sam Darnold... I don't know if Sam Darnold's a great starting quarterback at large in the NFL, but in this offense with this head coach...

I think he's really, really good. I don't think that there's anything fluky about it. I think for whatever reason, it fits him. And I think I'm in on the Vikings this year. So I'm not saying I'm not... Everything you said, I somewhat agree with. Like, it's not fluky in the fact that I think they're a good team. I just think this is, like, their absolute sell-high spot. Like, everyone's like, the Vikings are for real. The Vikings are for real. I'm...

feeling like this is a spot where Sam Darnold's going to lay an egg and everyone's going to get off the scent. And again, I think they'll still be good. So I'm not going to say if Sam Darnold comes out and plays bad, I'm not going to be like, oh, Vikings back to earth, they stink. I'm just going to say I expected he'll throw in a clunker once in a while. That might happen this week. And that's actually where the Vikings want to be because they want everyone off the scent. It sounds like you're being a little bit anti-Sam-atic. You're being anti-Sam-ite?

Anti-Samite? I am pro-Samite. Okay. I don't know. What I've seen from him is really good. And also, it's like strength versus strength in this game. So the Packers have a really good run game. And the Vikings, I think, have the best run defense. And they've gone up against some pretty good running teams, too. Well, the Packers also have a good run game because they had to run. That's true. With Malik Willis. So I don't... If Jordan Love's back, I think the Packers are going to win this game. And...

I might even take it if they're not back. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Vikings keep just rolling, but I feel like this is... One of these 3-0 teams is going to have to lose this one. It's a get-right-weak for the favorites, I think. You think so? It might be. See, I'm also... Because now everyone's like, oh, the underdogs, underdogs, underdogs. Right. I've also not had a correct read on the Packers all season. Yeah, I think... So keep that in the back of your head. I like the Packers in this game. I just... Again, I think the Vikings are probably a playoff team...

But they do better work when everyone doesn't take them fully, fully for serious. So if they win this game, like it's a visualization game. They win this game. They're 4-0. They just beat the Packers. Maybe even throw in the Lions losing on Monday Night Football. And so it's now 4-0 and everyone else is 2-2 in the NFC North. You're like, holy shit, they got a two-game lead.

I don't know. I just don't see it. I also got that wrong. They're the second best against the rush in the NFL, but still very good. Yeah. Vikings defense. Yeah. I just think the Packers will obviously be very different if Malik Willis is, if Jordan Love is back, they're not going to run the same way. It would be good for your personal discourse if the Vikings happened to win. And then you could say, like, go back to Malik Willis for the Packers. Oh, are you kidding me? That's going to be all I'm going to talk about. Yeah. No. If Jordan Love plays and loses, I'm going to be a real fucking piece of shit online.

because it's all I got. All right. You know what? Let's talk about it. I think... So Rams, Bears. I think the Bears are going to win this game. Same. If I'm following my model that I just talked about. I think it's also... But it's gross. What's your model? It's a get-right game. Get-right. Get-right. Get-right week. The game after the kitchen sink is always tough because you don't have anything left to do anymore. You have nothing left. No leftovers. So there also is a stat behind that.

Teams coming off of 14. Isn't kitchen sink just like... Kitchen sink is just cleaning stuff. No, it's a phrase, though. Throw everything. No, I know, but there's no left. It's just... You got the garbage disposal. This is a garbage disposal game for the Rams. You're throwing a bunch of Windex at teams when you throw the kitchen sink at them.

So wait, when you throw the kitchen sink, are you saying, is it like we're going to, we don't have anything left to eat. So we're going to take everything that's the dirty stuff that's in the kitchen sink and scrape it off. And that's what we're going to have. I think it's everything. Just pull the kitchen sink out of the socket and throw that. Okay. So you have no food left.

No, the phrase is everything but the kitchen sink. Yeah. Yeah. So you're just leaving just the kitchen sink. You're packing up everything but the kitchen sink. Okay. So you still do have a kitchen sink. You have a kitchen sink to piss in. Yeah.

You have to be somewhere. The Rams' pass defense is really, really bad. Their entire defense is not great. They give up the most yards per play. So I think that this could—Hank might be right about this one. Is this going to be a Caleb coming out party? I mean, he threw for 363 yards last week. I think he's already out. You think he's out? Yeah, he's out. Okay.

I think this, but if he goes, if he goes dummy this game, I think he's out. All right. Then I think that's the coming out party. Also, I said the Bears were going to win this game before Hank said the Bears were going to win this game. That's fact. That's true. But credit to Hank. He did. And if I lose this game, I'm going to blame you. Yeah, that's fine. Is your boy Keenan Allen going to play this week? I believe he is. And I also believe they're finally going to make the right call and have Roshan Johnson start.

So, little teaser, he's probably going to be my TD parlay. I think Roshan is, I mean, you can see he's run a lot harder than DeAndre Swift, who I don't want to say DeAndre Swift stinks because the offensive line is not great, but DeAndre Swift might fucking stink. Yes. Again, I'm a Bears guy because what I'm about to say is. I know that.

The clip, there was a viral clip that went out on social media that was like someone breaking down film of DeAndre Swift in slow motion running into his players and defenders. Those clips are bullshit. Agreed. When it's slow motion and it's like you have no time to think. It's a split second decision. He went right instead of when he should have went left. And you cherry pick those and put them in slow motion. Everything looks bad. Counterpoint, that's kind of your job is running back.

Here's my... Right, but like if you... But I'm saying you cherry pick the bad ones and compile them together, it's going to look worse. Right. Like...

There's a million of those every game. Yeah, even for good running backs. And every running back doesn't get it right. Yeah. The film community online has gotten a little away from itself where there are people I follow who I trust who will show good and bad, but there's also an entire group of film community that will just highlight one play and be like, what is this team doing? This guy's ass. This guy stinks. Look at how bad they are.

I think it's because you can get paid off Twitter now and they just know that you hate. Yeah, they'll just put up those bad clips and it's just like, okay, can you... One, we don't know what everyone's... That's the other part is with the film. I trust some people, but I also think there's a lot of people who think they're film experts and you don't know what everyone's assignment is on every single play and they just kind of guess...

and they try to highlight one bad block or one bad run. This guy stinks. With running backs, too, where they have the still shots of where there's a hole, sometimes the hole's not even there by the time the running back gets there. Correct. If you find a screenshot and there's open space, it's rushing disinformation is what it is. Correct. And so we've got to be on high alert for it. What were you going to say? I was just going to say that DeAndre Swift has been in a lot of Eagles talk. Oh, you want him back? No. Oh. Like...

How much better... The Eagles' offensive line is? Yes. Correct. Correct. That's a no-brainer. And how much better Shaquan Barkley is. That's...

Than DeAndre Swift? Yes. I like that. Because they were like, DeAndre Swift had these same running lanes as Saquon Barkley is getting this year, and we're seeing the difference. Oh, that makes me feel so much better. Because I saw someone posted the other day, they were like, I don't think DeAndre Swift's the best player ever, but maybe it's not all DeAndre Swift. And it was like, DeAndre Swift, yards per carry, it was like 5.0, 4.8, 4.7, 5.2, and then this year it's like 1.6.

But that makes sense. He was a system running back. He had a great offensive line. Seems like a nice guy, by the way. I'm not trying to bash him. I would count this as a Caleb coming out party because the Bears offense is last right now in DVOA.

Nerd stat. Cool. If he has a good game. He had fucking the most yards since Brian Horner in 2016. So 363 yards. And if we're going off the trend of him doubling his previous yardage, which has happened every game this year, he will have 626 yards passing this week or more. Would be a record. Love it. He's already out. I don't need nerd stats to know he's already out. He's been out. He's been out. He has been out. Yeah, and the Rams are still...

Very injured. But I don't know if they win this game. I guess I should start getting nervous about my pinky. Yeah. I mean, the Rams are put together with, like, duct tape and bubble gum right now. Yeah. But their coach is so good. And their quarterback's so good. If you look at coach versus coach in this game, one team has a pretty big advantage. I was thinking about this recently about your pinky team. Remember...

last year when or before the year you were like hyping up matt stafford to win mvp because you could i did this year that's what i'm saying yeah no it's stupid yeah you're you're this whole thought process of how like

Yeah, this is going to... Yeah. Yeah, everyone's going to... Like, I'm going to get all this credit for saying that Matthew Stafford... Predicting Matthew Stafford's MVP season when I say all this credit. Like, literally no one gave me any credit. What did it cost? My pinky. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, the Bears' defense is good enough where I think that they'll be able to take advantage of having a bunch of starters out on the Rams' offense. The question is, is the defense on the Rams going to be as bad? Because they're last in yards allowed, 425 yards a game. No other team gives up more than 400 yards a game. So they're last by a big margin. That also is that game against the Cardinals where they just got torched. Coming up. You know, the—

We're at that weird spot where three games is the sample size. So I start trusting stats, but you're also, I'd say, if you have one bad game, then you could be the worst in everything. Yeah. All right. Steelers or Colts? I have a question. This might sound crazy because I'm not the biggest Anthony Richardson fan, but is Anthony Richardson potentially better than or can he play better than Kirk Cousins' first game after an Achilles injury?

rookie year Bo Nix and significantly hurt Justin Herbert without Rashawn Slater and Joe Alt. I think he can. So maybe he can have better success against the Steelers defense than the first three teams they played. I'm not saying the Steelers defense isn't good. They have not played a gauntlet of quarterbacks. The Steelers defense is really, really good. It is, but...

They've also not played a gauntlet of quarterbacks. And could Anthony Richardson maybe play better than those three things I listed and win this game? I think he could, but also the Steelers, they have a formula. And they're just going to bleed you out on offense. They're going to run the ball. They're not going to turn the ball over. And then their defense is going to suffocate you. I feel like the Steelers, they're going to be one of those teams that people are like, how is their record so good this year? And it's because I love the fact that they just know who they are and they don't give a fuck. Yeah.

Yeah, big time. Big time. Also, Justin Fields is playing pretty well. Yes, he is. And Mike Tomlin has refused to name a starter. I think he's just going to do... We're going to ride with Justin until the wheels fall off, and then we'll put Russ in. Why do they cater to Russ like this? He hasn't done anything. I don't understand...

Like, we watched him. He's not good anymore. I think Russ kind of needs to be catered to. Yeah. They need to bring in, they need to basically do bar rescue the Steelers. If this becomes a quarterback controversy in any way or messes with Justin Fields' confidence, they should do bar rescue Sean Payton and he just comes in and he just shits on Russ and he's like, all right, I've done my job, I'm out. That would be fun. Also, Mike Tomlin should tell his medical staff to secretly treat Russ Wilson incorrectly.

Like give him heat when he needs ice. Yeah. Give him ice when he needs heat. So he's still got that nagging little injury in his calf. I don't think you have to be secret about it. You can just tell him this is a new formula to get back on the field. Yeah. Listen, this is a it's actually inspired by the blockchain. So it's next level shit. So we're doing like crypto healing on you. Yeah. And just wait. It's going to work really well. And then Russell be like, yes. Okay. That sounds like it's preparing me for excellence. Yes. And then just keep Justin out there.

Is this is Steelers Colts one of those weird games? I somehow remember. Maybe it's because of the playoff game in the in Roethlisberger tackle or no, it was Peyton Manning tackle of sorry. No, it's been Roethlisberger tackle of Bob Sanders. That's right. That's right. Mike Vander Jack missed the field goal. Yeah, he got he got it was it. I don't think it was Bob Sanders. Remember it was the story was that the guy got stabbed the night before. Oh, yeah, it wasn't Bob Sanders. Yeah. Yeah, it was somebody else. But

I don't know why I always like, I can just remember a lot of Steelers Colts games and they have never once played in Pittsburgh. Well, I think was that when Harbaugh was on the Colts and they lost to the Steelers in the AFC championship game? Maybe, but I'm saying in like the last 20 years, they've only played in Indy.

In my mind. Yeah, I don't. Again, this is not a real stat, but in my mind, they've only played an Indy. It's a sneaky good uniform matchup. It is. It is. It's very good. But yeah, I feel like they play every year and they play always an Indy. Yep. That might be one of those. You know how Notre Dame will play in neutral sites, but they're not neutral because they're Notre Dame. They'll be like, oh, we'll go play a game in Texas. Yeah. That's kind of like the Steelers game in Indy every year. Yeah. Because it's a drive and Steelers fans travel anyway. Yep.

We have a giveaway, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, so what do we want to do for the Colts' giveaway? I think we go... Hold on. Let's get the... Let's get the... Who got tackled. Oh, if they have that jersey? Yeah, which is kind of sad. But he survived. No, I know. If they have the jersey, because they lost the game. Okay. And that was like, if he didn't get stabbed, maybe he would have been okay. Let's see. That was such a crazy play. Who did...

You just say, who did Ben Roethlisberger tackle? No, yeah, who did Ben Roethlisberger tackle? Harper. Jerome Bettis fumble. Harper. Harper. If you have a Harper Colts jersey, let us know, and we will give you two free tickets to the Colts-Steelers game in Indy this weekend. It's Nick Harper. Nick Harper. Nick Harper. Do we have a backup plan if nobody has a Nick Harper? Bryce Harper. Okay. If you have a Colts-Brice Harper jersey. Yep.

He wanted to go to the game. And I tell you what, if we don't get any people that have the Nick Harper or Bryce Harper Colts jersey by like, I don't know, you want to say 2 p.m.? Yeah. If there's a Steelers Colts couple. A good custom or a good custom Ben Roethlisberger jersey. Yeah. They want to travel with. Oh, we don't want to give these tickets to the Steelers fans. Yeah, we don't want to give them a home advantage. Yeah, I might get my season tickets taken away by Mr. Ursae.

How about we do a couple? We'll do the couple. If there's a Colts and Steelers fan couple. But Nick Harper and Bryce Harper's Colts jerseys take priority. How would you even make them, Bryce?

Bryce, would you do the, would it be a Colts jersey with like the lettering style of the Phillies? It'd be Harper 34. Yeah, but the, and also the lettering. Not 34. He's not 34? Not 34. What is he now? Yeah, it's three. Oh, number three. I thought you were trying to say it. Okay, continue. I thought you were doing a bit there. What? No. Yeah, but it was a bit. I only recognize him when he wore number 34 for the Nationals. When he brought us to World Series. Got him. Ha, fuck you, Max. You got got, bitch.

Remember that when he left? That was a great... You have to got your eye on talk at the end of this postseason. Yeah, I'm going to bet on the Phillies. We will. Okay, next up. Memesy, Broncos and Jets. Now, here's a question. Well, actually, not a question. A stat for you. Nathaniel Hackett, in his career, is 1-0...

in revenge games against the Broncos, average margin of victory 10.0. That's a nice neat 10.0. That's pretty crazy, right? That is crazy. This is a double revenge game. Yeah, because we got Zach, right? Zach Wilson.

Oh, yeah. And Aaron Rodgers didn't get to avenge his boy. But he said he didn't care about it. No, he cares. He said that a lot of people say things they regret. And Aaron Rodgers definitely. Or not they regret. What was the exact quote? I wrote it down. That's old news. We've all said things we'd like to take back. So kind of regret. Is this when Zach Wilson makes Aaron Rodgers life hell? No. No.

I think Sean Payne should make Zach Wilson a captain for this game. Agreed. And Sean Payne's the kind of coach that would do that. I bet you you're right. And I bet you he somehow gets into the game on, like, some weird play. A gadget? Yeah, like a Philly special, Bronco special. They just try to force him in. Yeah, it'd be very funny if he got into the game and tried to run a Philly special and just got blown up. Yeah. I didn't... Not meme style, but, like, by a defender. I didn't love...

Bo Nix saying that he is excited to meet Aaron Rodgers. I guess you can say it, but that is kind of weird still. He said it's kind of surreal, really looking forward to meeting him for the first time. Yeah, I don't like that. You're about to play him. Yeah, I don't like that at all. And you also are going up against a revenge. Again, do I have to read this out again? Nathaniel Hackett's 1-0 all-time in revenge games against the Broncos, 10.0 average margin of victory. Memes, how do you feel about Olu Fashanu?

I love him. And Aaron Rodgers said he reminds him of DeBricka Shaw Ferguson. That's a good comparison. That's a phenomenal comparison. That is a phenomenal. Morgan Moses, he's officially out? Yeah, about two to four weeks. It was an MCL sprain. Did he go out leaning on his staff? That's a good one. Thank you. DeBricka Shaw Ferguson doesn't get enough credit for having the coolest name ever.

Agreed. He was just an absolute stud. Yeah. He needs more credit. We need to remember how cool DeBrickishaw Ferguson's name is. Because DeBrickishaw is an awesome first name. So much fun to say. But when you match it up with Ferguson, it's like Vince McMahon meme in the chair just exploding at the end. Yeah. The Ferguson sets it off. Yeah. We have to do a review of that doc.

Do we? Yeah. I'm just interested to watch it because Vince McMahon came out and said that it was all fake news before the doc came out, which means I really want to watch it now. Yeah, I watched the first two episodes last night. It's pretty fucking crazy. Yeah. He's done a lot of crazy fucked up things. He's Vince McMahon. Yeah.

It's like that governor from North Carolina that was like, I don't know what's about to come out, but it's all going to be lies. Yeah, I won't spoil it, but they started it. Like the first episode was basically saying they interviewed all the A-list WWE people for a documentary. And then after doing a ton of the interviews, all of the allegations and the report and the Wall Street Journal stuff came out. So all the interviews with Vince were done before that.

And then it starts with his interview being like, all right, I'm talking about me. I'll tell you guys the good stuff. But he's like, I should tell you the real stories, but I can't. Like, I don't want you to know the real me. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. I mean, the Dark Side of the Ring, if people haven't watched that, it's phenomenal. Obviously, it's not every single episode is about Vince. It's about all wrestling. But yeah, wrestling is crazy. And there's crazy fucked up stories behind it. Can we get somebody to look up this stat?

The teams that stay at the Greenbrier when they're staying on the East Coast, what is their record after staying at that specific place? Sean Payton just loves the Greenbrier. I think it might be one of those things that Bill Parcells taught him. Yeah. Like, this is the hotel. And then he's just grown up as a head coach, always going back to the Greenbrier. He's got a points card there. He loves that place. I think he's got a points card at the Greenbrier. But that's where they chose to stay. Harbaugh, for some reason, chose to stay in Charlotte. He did not choose to stay at the Greenbrier. Yes.

Mistake. Teams this year are 0-1 staying in Charlotte. Yeah, except for the Panthers who won a game. No, but they didn't stay in Charlotte that day. They didn't? No, they were in Las Vegas. Okay, there you go. Yeah, no team. No team has won. No.

Teams have won in staying in Charlotte because the Panthers lost. Okay, yeah. We'll fine-tune that. But I'm saying the Greenbrier specifically. I want to know what the record is. If there's that stat available out there, I want to know if there's any magic in those hills. I would like to as well. I know we don't do Football Guy of the Week anymore, but Alex Singleton wins Football Guy of the Week. Did you guys see this story? He...

He tore his ACL against the Bucs. He's a linebacker for the Broncos. Then went on to have... He did it in the first quarter. Went on to have 10 tackles after the game. Was like, hey, I'm a little sore. And they looked at him like, yeah, dude, you got to throw an ACL. Respect. It's crazy. Massive respect. I'm a little sore. It also makes me question everyone that has an ACL injury. Phil Rivers. He played in the championship game. Yeah, I think we're ACL truthers. I think ACL is... Yeah. Someone told...

It's basically like when you get told as a kid, like, don't go swimming after eating tuna fish or like, don't do this. You know, something that scares you. If you make a funny face to get hit in the back, you'll be stuck in that face. Don't take a shower during a thunderstorm. You'll get electrocuted. Don't stand too close to the microwave. It'll give you cancer. Pop rocks and soda.

Those type of things. Maybe that's just all an ACL is. Like, don't tear your ACL. You'll be out for nine months. No. How is that true? You can still play on it. It might be a trick that football coaches give where they tell players you have a torn ACL and if you choose to play through it, then you know that you're tough. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe an ACL isn't that bad.

Also, I just wanted to say Patrick Chretan deserves a lot of credit for being a fucking stud. I know there was a couple PI calls in the Steelers game, but he has gone up against DK Metcalf week one. Mike Evans, right? Yeah, three receptions, 29 yards. George Pickens, two receptions, 29 yards. Mike Evans, two receptions, 17 yards. Yeah. He's fucking awesome. Very good. And he makes everything else work when you have a guy like that who can just eliminate someone. Yeah.

Okay, next up. So Garrett Wilson, not his day. We can continue the narrative of does Aaron Rodgers hate Garrett Wilson? I love that that happens whenever one receiver isn't playing well with Aaron Rodgers. It's because he hates him. Yeah. He won't talk to him. And it's also funny because what did you think was going to happen? He got Alan Lazard on the team. He's going to throw it to him. Bad vibes. He likes him. Bad vibes from Garrett Wilson. Eagles at box. Max. Max. Would you say Max? Max.

Please rank the top five players on the Eagles when fully healthy. Three of them will not be playing in this game. Oh, you got to ruin it. I wanted you to rank them and then we can figure out where they are. But yes, three of them will not be playing this game. How would you rank the top five players? Lane Johnson won. Lane Johnson, A.J. Brown. Cooper DeGene.

Jalen Carter, Jalen Hurts, Devontae Smith. Okay, so three of the top five are not playing in this game. That's a problem. That's a big problem. Is this a get-right game for Bryce Huff?

Nah, he sucks. I'm done with him. I've been done with him. We told you last week going into the Bucs game that the Bucs allow people to get to Baker Mayfield faster than any other quarterback gets gotten to. Like the time after snap, people are getting to Baker, and I think they sacked him seven times last week. This might be the get-right game for Bryce. No, it'll just be Jalen Carter eating again. Okay. I hate Bryce Huff. He sucks. That's sad. That's sad that he turned on him so fast. Do you think you're going to win this game?

Honestly, it makes no sense that they're two-point favorites in this game. Explain that to me. I really can't. That's the only reason I think that they might, because that line makes zero sense. The only thing I can think of is the Bucs just might... We might have gotten way too ahead of ourselves with the Bucs. I know the win against the Lions was big, but...

The Bucs got dominated in that game on the stat sheet. They won the game, maybe, and then they lost to a 0-2 Broncos team. The Eagles are 2-1, and they're dominating on the stat sheet the other way. They dominated the Saints, so maybe the Eagles are good. I need to rewind. You can do Saquon. I know. You know why? Because you're obsessed with Jalen Carter. I am obsessed with Jalen Carter.

You got blinded by Jalen Carter. Eagles fans are going to be pissed at me. Wait, so who's out? I think Jalen Carter. Is he out? Nah, Devontae. I'll take Jalen Carter over Devontae. Fuck, no one wants to hear me say the three out of the top six. All right, fine. I'll take Jalen Carter out. He's six. Max tried to trade away Jalen Hurts on Wednesday's show. That's true. I would take that trade, yes.

I know. That makes me so happy. Yeah. I mean, that's just math. I've just been going through the list this week. Like, I'm a real sicko. I get one sniff of victory, and I start to think to myself, who would I take a trade for? I'd trade him for Patrick Mahomes. I don't know if I would. PFT, I don't know if you would. Patrick Mahomes has kind of been... I think I would trade...

I think I would trade Jaden Daniels for Patrick Mahomes. And the other trade that I would consider for the rights to Arch Manning and every future Manning throughout American history. Get the bloodline. So then I get like 100 years of sustained success. I like that a lot. Besides that, no deal. Get the whole bloodline. Yeah, I think the Eagles might win because it makes no sense. The line makes no sense. But they have... I think that they might win. I think they might win. Their offense...

It's John Dotson, Paris Campbell, Johnny Wilson. That's your receiving room on Sunday. Britton Covey. Britton Covey IR, Torres shoulder. Someone look up, is Vita Vey still out? That might be a way to just pound the rock.

I guess. But then you're missing your top lineman. Yeah, this is... But it makes no sense, so I'm going to take... Exactly. It makes no sense on the road. Why are they two-point favorites with their entire offense out? I love the battle of the stupid coaching styles going at one another. So you've got Todd Bowles, who is the most conservative coach in the NFL when it comes to fourth downs and going for it. And then you've got Nick Sirianni, who is just...

stupidly reckless sometimes with going forward. I would just say stupid. Stupid, yeah. But at least his stupidity is consistent. Consistently inconsistent. Vita Vey returned to practice yesterday. It makes no sense. Because he is stupidly... He does make no rhyme or reason. Yeah. All right, I like the Eagles. I think we talked our way through it.

I like the Eagles. Specifically because you don't like the Eagles. Vegas knows something. No, because Vegas knows something. Yeah, it makes no sense. It makes no sense. The only sense I can think of is, like I said, if you look at the way the Bucs have won, they got doubled up in yards per play, and yards is not indicative of everything, but there are certain Bucs, like a 15-12 game that you won against the Saints, if you looked at the Bucs where you're like, oh, that was a really close game. The Eagles were able to move the ball. The Saints weren't.

Like, that's a fact. Same with the Bucs and the Lions. The Bucs beat the Lions. If you watch that game, the Lions were able to move the ball. They just couldn't get in the end zone, which is part of the game. But yeah, I think we take the Eagles as a team. Hank's been saying, get right for the favorites. Okay, next up, Bengals and Panthers. This is finally a do or die game. Yeah, I would say so. I would say if the Bengals lose this one, their season's cooked.

Starting on four would be very, very tough, if not impossible, to come back from. And if you look at the schedule, which is one of the easiest in the NFL, in theory for the Bengals moving forward, if you lose the game against the Panthers, then you can't count anything as a win. I'd agree. Did you know that Andy Dalton won the FedEx Air and Ground Player of the Week? I think Jayden Daniels won a bunch of awards too, but did you know that was the first time in Panthers history a player won the FedEx Air and Ground?

Aaron Ground, Player of the Week. So FedEx wasn't a sponsor when Cam Newton? I think they were. I think the award's been around for like two decades. So in his MVP season? I don't think he ever had a week where he won it. That's strange. Yeah. This is the first time any Panthers quarterback has earned this honor in the 22-year history of the award. That's very strange. Yes, no Cam Newton somehow, no Jake DeLome. That's crazy. But yeah, no Jake DeLome.

I think Andy Dalton is just still good. I think he's a perfectly fine quarterback, and this is a revenge game too. It is a revenge game without Adam Thielen, and he got the surprise factor. I think maybe this is the game the Bengals have to win one. Yeah.

Because they have to win one. Because their offense is still very good. Yeah. Do you know someone? I saw this online. Someone was tweeting about this, that they did the playoff predictors calculator thing. And there is a world where the Bengals win out 14 and three and miss the playoffs.

Yeah. Yeah, because other teams can win like 15. Someone did it. It has the Steelers as 14-2-1, winning the AFC North. It has the Chargers as 14-2-1. It has the Chiefs as 13-2-2. Two ties. Two ties.

It has the Jaguars at the four seed being 14 and three. Love that. The Texans at 14 and three, the dolphins at 14 and three, the bills at 14 and three. Yeah. Let's, let's, I mean, that would be chaos if there's, if there's a team out there with two tires, I love how, I mean, that guy had to just sit there forever.

hitting just every single iteration to try to find the formula. Listen, as a team that oftentimes finds themselves at about 4-8 after 12 games, I'm very experienced with manipulating the playoff predictor. You can spend a half hour on there and get any result that you want. Would that be the craziest sports story ever? If they won 14 in a row and still didn't make the playoffs? Yeah, probably. I'm rooting for it now.

So, yeah. So Adam Thielen out is going to be, I think, a pretty big deal. Yes. Because Andy Dalton loves him. He's still good. Adam Thielen is still an effective wide receiver. Yes. When he has like an actual quarterback that's throwing the ball to him. So, yeah, I do like I like the Bengals in this one. My question for for Bengals fans out there, I think that you agree with me on this. Why is Chase Brown not getting the ball more?

Why do they keep having Zach Moss be their number one guy? Because Chase Brown is so much more dynamic than Zach Moss is. I agree. It doesn't make any sense. I was cheering so loud to put Zach Moss back in the game when I was at the game on Monday night. Because he's not bad. He's not a bad running back. But Chase Brown is so much better. Yes, I'd agree. I'd agree. It doesn't make sense. Maybe this is just an off Bengals year. Because you know Zach Taylor has only finished fourth or first.

In the AFC North. Yeah, so this might be number four. It just feasts or famine. His first year, obviously, was before Burrow, so it was two and 14. How sick would it be if Joe Burrow got rid of the frosted tips before this game? But he did it by dyeing his hair red. So we have a ginger off. Yeah. That'd be nice. You should just mock him. Yeah. Okay. I think this is the last early slate, and then we have a few late slates. Jaguars at Texans.

The Jaguars are in trouble. We have some Doug Peterson quotes. I'll read you the first one. He said, listen, the speeches are done. The speeches are over. We don't need any more rah-rah stuff. It's just time to go play football, fix the mistakes, and do everything we can to play our best football this weekend. Isn't that kind of a speech?

Isn't that kind of a rah-rah? Yeah, the speeches are over. No more speeches. It's on you, man. Yeah, no more rah-rah is rah-rah. Yeah. Like, we gotta just play. Yeah. It might be time for a players-only meeting in Jacksonville.

Yes. Well, everything is on the table, he said. That's a bad sign. Also, he said that we've had great conversations before and after football games when talking about his relationship with Shad Khan. There's no way they've had great conversations after these football games. No, I'm thinking through all their losses this year, and I don't think a single one would...

have a positive maybe the week one being like man we're real close to that dolphins good first half yeah good first half there's just no way that he's there's no way they're having great conversations so hank was he was all over the bill belichick to jacksonville did you get that from albert breer by any chance hank no that's just you brain just you well now albert breer's talking about it too hey albert breer got it from hank got from hank come on so albert please credit your sources please uh i'm starting to think that there might be some truth to it

It would look weird. Don't get me wrong. That might be the one uniform that I think Bill Belichick would look the weirdest wearing in terms of those colors, the Jaguar head on his polo shirt. I can't visualize it. But then again, I think when we talked about the weirdest uniforms Tom Brady could wear, I think the bucks were right up there at the top. Yeah. Like, I can't picture it. So, Hank, you might be on to something. And I think that's what you want to root for, Hank.

Cowboys would be the best. Yeah, Cowboys, but if you're... Just for the takes. It's bigger in Dallas. Yeah. Outside of the Cowboys, though, it's going to be weird for you to see Belichick coaching another team, just like it was weird for Tom Brady. And like PFT said, you almost want it to be the most random. It doesn't feel almost real if he's the Jaguars head coach. Yeah. Yeah. I think anywhere not in the AFC East is fine, though. What about the Giants?

Yeah, no. Because that could be open. I could see him. And he loves the Maris. I could see him. He's got a couple rings there. I know he's never put on a Giants polo before, but I could see it. I could visualize it. You should do a Photoshop. I'm visualizing it. It feels a little grainy to me. He looks good. He looks younger. He looks skinny. Yeah. He looks skinny. I would hate that. So I'm rooting for that just because Hank would hate it. I blindsided you with that one. Yeah. Which shouldn't be because he coached there. Yeah.

Also, here's another Doug Peterson quote. The confidence is high. Again, no chance. There's no way the confidence is high with the Jaguars right now. What's the best team they've ever assembled? I do feel that we have to just focus in on us internally and keep things nice and tight. So they're doing the nice and tight. We've got the guys in this locker room. Eliminate the mistakes that are happening and try to play your best football. Didn't the Jaguars beat the Texans in Houston last year?

I know they beat them one time. Yeah, I feel like that was one of those ones where the Jaguars kind of owned the Texans for a while. Because the Jaguars, they were very, very good at the beginning of last year. Yes, that's right. Yeah, I like the Texans in this game because part of me wants to try to figure out how can I time the Jaguars correctly and figure this out? I think maybe I can't and they just stink.

I might try to time the Jaguars on this. Okay, go for it. Be my guest. Is it seven points? It is seven, I believe, yes. I might try to time them. Good luck. Good luck, buddy. I might. This is a bad idea, but I think I'm going to do it. Okay, time them. I'm going to time them. Time them.

Is this the week? You don't have to do it this week. You could say you're going to time them and wait to time them. No, this is the week. I'm not going to delay my timing of them. This is the week. It's a divisional matchup. And guess what? They pay these guys on the Jaguars to play football. Facts. That's facts. These guys are professional football players. I just looked over at memes. I was doing like a meathead nod.

Like, nice squat, bro. He's just going like this. Yeah. Memes knows. Memes knows ball. Listen, no more time for rah-rah speeches. Time for speeches is over. Jaguars. Your head coach isn't going to talk to you anymore. Okay? It's on you guys. Men, you want to be men? Go out there and prove it. Yeah. Prove to me that you're men, boys. Because I'm not going to say anything, boys. Be a man. And we're not going to do rah-rahs. No rah-rahs. And no speeches. Now let's go out there and get them. Yeah.

Stay tight. It's all the guys in this locker room, but we're not doing speeches. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I think the Texans are going to win this game. You know what? I'll time with you. Let's time it. I'm not saying the Jaguars are going to win. No, cover. Cover. I'm giving a speech to them to cover. Yeah, let's time it. Let's go out there and cover. There's no time better than today to time the Jaguars because they don't play today, so we couldn't actually lose today. That's true. Patriots to 49ers.

This is like they're going to check into the game one time. And that was Patriots 49ers. If you're watching Red Zone or you're watching the primetime 4 o'clock Fox game or CBS, whatever it is, they'll cut to this game maybe once, maybe twice. It'll probably be gross. Get right game for the favorites. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Not a lot of confidence. Not a lot of confidence. So I have an interesting nugget here that we can talk about. Do you want to hear a nugget? Yeah. All right. So stop me if you've heard this before, but Kyle Shanahan had a lead and then he refused to run the ball and he passed too much and then lost the game. That happened last week. Mm-hmm.

The Patriots are not, I wouldn't say that they're an aggressive, pass-happy offense. They're not built to blow you out by taking shots downfield. Would that be fair to say, Hank? Yep. They, for some reason, did that last week, especially at the start. They threw the ball a fuck-ton.

I feel like this is a double correction game. Oh! Where Shanahan, fresh off his, oh shit, I did the Super Bowl thing again, is going to pound the rock, and the Patriots are also going to pound the rock. It's going to be a rock off. Which, yeah, adds up to my point, being it's going to be like a 13-3 game. You think it's a 13-3 game? 16-3? Yeah. Who? The 49ers. I think the 49ers might score a little bit more than that.

Patriots defense looks slow. I mean, follow the trend. Biggest underdog. True. I don't believe in you. Get right. Do it. For who? The favorites. It could be a get right for the Patriots. Yeah. You've got conflicting get rights going on. No. I've been steadfast. Do you think we see Drake May? I think it's a I hope not. Yeah.

Even in the one drive that he played, he got crushed. When do you want to see Drake May? When we have an offensive line that can block for him. So not until next year? And maybe the year after. Next year. Are you saying shut Drake May down for the season? Not shut him down, but I would not get... I get more scared than excited if he goes in. I think that's fair. Yeah. Because again...

What's the best case scenario if he plays? Well, if you win out, you guarantee yourself a playoff spot because you already have that one win. So by the math that we just went through, you could clinch if you won out. You control your own destiny. Yeah, you could. Yeah, I guess I don't see it that way. In theory, you're right. Super Bowl goes to Foxborough this year. I don't know if the 49ers are...

not good because they're hurt or maybe this is just the year from hell for them or maybe I don't know so Christian McCaffrey it was reported earlier this week he took a little trip to Germany to see a doctor

To me, that doesn't sound like there's a whole lot of reason for optimism when he's going to Europe to see a doctor. Did you hear Ryan Whitney say that he heard a rumor that he might retire? Really? Yeah. That seems crazy. Whitney also. I mean, he's on in a minute here, but like.

He's stick to hockey buddy. You can do the rumor boys for hockey. He actually admitted in the interview that's coming up that they just fuck around a lot with rumors. Yeah. So that's a crazy rumor. It's a crazy rumor. Definitely not crazy. You can't say that stuff on a podcast. You can't. Crazy if it was true. It's crazy if it was true. Crazy. Where did he hear it from? I don't know. He said someone from Barstool, but I don't know. I didn't ask him who it was. I mean, these walls, if they could talk. Yeah.

They'd be like, Chris McCaffrey might retire. Well, so Whitney, he was... It's so crazy to kind of believe him. It is, right. He was out on the golf course earlier this week. Whitney was. Yeah. Do you think he heard it on the golf course from somebody? Who knows? Who knows? So yeah, McCaffrey is in Germany seeing a doctor for experimental reasons, I guess. Kobe did this. Yeah. Well, German doctors running experiments doesn't always turn out so good. No. No.

If he was going to retire, do you think it's a situation where he goes to Germany and the German guy tells him he has to retire? And that's what cues it off? I think you go to Germany as the last stop. Right. But you go to Germany and they're like, we don't got any of that. Yeah. Well, the German told me to quit, so I quit. Imagine if FDR felt that way, Hank. Mm-hmm.

I don't know. It's weird, Hank. It would be crazy. And again, if we see Christopher McCaffrey this year, Whitney, it's despicable what you did. And if Christopher McCaffrey does in fact retire, we should get to find out who the source is and give that person credit. So what would the reason be for going to Germany? Is he getting a treatment done that's not...

That's not legal in the United States? I think they just have... They do a lot of stem cell stuff, I think. Kobe did it with his knees. Yeah. So they probably just have... I don't know. You get another opinion. Okay. You get bored of getting second opinions just down the street. You're like, let's go to Germany. It might help. Is it like Turkey for hair plugs? That's what I was thinking. There's just something that German doctors can do that American doctors can't. Germany... Some American doctors are very, very good at doing hair plugs, Hank.

That's true. Really good. It's cheaper, but that wouldn't make sense for McCaffrey. People go to Turkey for hair plugs because they don't want to pay the premium that Americans cost. It's a bunch of collegiate athletes flying back on German airways and they've all got their knees wrapped up. Yeah, but Chris McCaffrey doesn't. All right, I'm finding it out for you right now. All right, so there's a German doctor that does a... It's referred to as Regeneckin.

Also known as Orthokin. According to Web DMD, it is a type of regenerative medicine that uses your own blood to treat your joint pain. This serum is made from your blood. It's treated in such a way that it produces anti-inflammatory protein called IL-1 receptor antagonist. This protein may change your body's inflammatory response and improve any damage to your cartilage. So it sounds like it's a procedure that we don't do in the States, but

People who have done it are Kobe Bryant, Peyton Manning, Tiger Woods, Trace McGrady, and Freddie Couples. That's funny that Boom Boom went and did it. Yeah, Freddie Couples. Yeah. That's pretty cool. Yeah. So it probably doesn't happen here. I remember when Kobe did it, his knees bounced back for another year or two. I do think that there's something to having a doctor with an accent tell you something. It makes it sound more official. Yeah.

Yes. Like if I hear a foreign, especially like a European accent from a doctor. Yeah. You feel like you're in Rocky four. I'm like, that guy knows what he's doing. Yeah. All right. That was our Patriots 49ers preview. Whatever happened to just going to see Dr. James Andrews? He doesn't do this. Good, solid American. He doesn't do this kind of stuff. Browns Raiders.

I like the Raiders just because of the business decisions that were talked about. Yeah, but is he overreacting? No, I saw some of the tape. Well, I saw one cornerback that looked like he was completely checked out during one play. But you don't check out on an Antonio Pierce team. That's right. But I just feel like he might be doing the hard-ass first-year head coach thing.

Like, he might be overcorrecting where he's saying he might also bench Gardner Minshew. I mean, they lost to a team that hadn't had a lead in the fourth quarter for 20 games. Yeah, yeah. That was pretty embarrassing. You have to fix things, for sure. But I get the feeling like Antonio Pierce is doing. It's the classic hard-nosed first-year head coach thing where he's like, I'm going to fix everything immediately. So you like the Browns? Get the bums out. No, I don't like the Browns. But in this game, I think I might.

I don't like them at all. Yeah. I saw Deshaun Watson in his media day. Now, his answer that I'm about to read, technically he's right. I just fucking... He's so... He's the worst. I feel bad for Browns fans at this point. Deshaun Watson was asked about more designed runs in the offense. Yeah.

and he responded that he is not a running back. I'm not going in there to ask them for more designed runs. If I don't have to run, I'm not going to run. I'm not trying to take any hits. I'm not a running quarterback in a sense. I can make things happen, but I'm not trying to run. I'm not a running back. It's not my specialty. They signed me to throw the ball, make decisions, be a quarterback, not a runner.

Bro, I mean, you're just a jerk. Yeah. I'm open to everything. We got to win as a team. I don't blame him for not actively going into the coach's office and being like, hey, let me run the ball more. I don't think any quarterback would necessarily want to do that. Yeah, like the sentiment is not wrong. The way he delivers it, he's just a dick. Yeah, he's a dickhead. He's a dickhead. Yeah, and he's just like, I don't want to run the ball. I'm a passer. I don't want to run the ball. I'm not going to ask to run the ball more.

Yeah, they paid me to be quarterback. Getting hit hurts. I feel my body hurts when people, when big men hit me. Just say, we'll do whatever to win the team. And then he went on to say, if I run and get hurt, it's a lose-lose for Kevin Stefanski because people will blame him for getting me hurt. It's like, actually...

It's probably a win-win because people will be like, thank you for getting him hurt, and now we can go to the playoffs with our backup quarterback. James Winston. Yeah. But it's not good if he gets hit and he gets hurt and then he has to go see a therapist. True. True. That's bad. Maybe he's just protecting people. He's protecting people from himself. True. True. Either way, yeah. I'm buying in on Antonio Pierce. Rowing up the team. So they're the worst running team in football right now.

The Raiders are. Yeah. So white and Alexander Madison just can't get it going. And if I know Antonio Pierce, the way to, to address having the worst running team in football is to run the ball more. Yeah. We just need to assert ourselves in the run game is what he's going to say, which is,

which some coaches would say if we're bad at running the football, let's play to our strengths. Antonio Pierce, I think he takes it as a personal affront to his physicality as a head coach. He's like, we're the worst. We're not going to be the worst after this week, so we're just going to run the ball down your throat as much as we can. Also, I do think that the Raiders' defensive line is going to eat. They're going to eat because...

The Browns offensive line has a lot of injuries on it. And I think Wyatt Teller is on IR. Yeah. So things are getting worse for the Browns offensive line. Very banged up. Speaking of banged up, Miles Garrett has an Achilles foot and thigh. We all do.

But his are hurt. Yeah. Achilles foot and thigh. That's like the bone is connected to this bone thing. Yeah. It's just creeping its way up. That's just a lot of injuries right there, dude. Achilles foot, thigh. His knee's okay. Don't hog them all. Yeah. His shin's fine. A lot of injuries. His hamstring's okay. A lot of injuries. All right. Last two games. Chiefs at Chargers. Patrick Holmes has not been very good. Some would say that he has been good. Okay. Okay.

He won a Super Bowl. Yeah. And they haven't lost. That's true. But some may say he hasn't been playing very well. Actually, Patrick Mahomes said that. He said, I haven't played very well this year. He hasn't played up to his own standard for himself. I have a fun stat for you. In the last eight regular season games, Patrick Mahomes is 11 touchdowns, nine interceptions, is thrown for 300 plus yards just one time. Hmm. Which made me believe that there's a chance...

Patrick Mahomes might just have the most fuck you career of all time to everyone who watches football and win like 10 Super Bowls and just...

play average football every regular season and he can just clutch up whenever he wants and he's like, fuck you guys. I'll just do this every January. Yeah, so additional info about that stretch where they've had, you said last eight regular season games? Yeah. They are five and three. Yeah, no. When he's playing not bad. No, I know. His defense has been playing great. He just has not been playing...

He's not playing MVP Patrick Mahomes. He did in the playoffs. He's not. He admitted himself. Yeah. Also, those long pass interference calls. He doesn't get yardage stats for those. Yeah. So just a heads up. This is going to be interesting because Joe Alt probably not going to play. He's out. And so is Rashawn Slater. They're both dealing with something, as Harbaugh would say.

And the Chargers have a bye next week. And if they start Justin Herbert, that's just like the biggest mistake ever. I don't think Herbert's going to start. I don't either. Because his ankle is not going to get better. I don't either. But I also, when Justin Herbert comes in the locker room and he's like, coach, I want to go. Taylor Heineke, though.

Taylor Heineke. Yeah. Do you think Patrick Holmes has been playing well in the regular season? I think he's still, like, statistically, no. I think he's looked off this year thus far. He said it himself. But I think he's still been playing, like, pretty good quarterback. Yeah, he's not been Patrick Holmes. He's not doing, like, the wow, holy shit, this guy is just stepping on our throats from start to finish. He's making plays when he has to. He's been clutch. Yeah, I'm not...

Again, taking out playoffs, because obviously that was a totally different run. Yeah. And this is just how he... Maybe this is just how he does it. I just noticed it, and if Chiefs fans get mad at me, you get mad at your own quarterback because he said himself, I haven't played very well. Yeah. He said, I haven't played very well, and that's not even a stats thing. He's been not up to Patrick Mahomes standard, for sure. He hasn't looked like the crazy, holy shit Patrick Mahomes in the regular season. But again...

We do this every year where we're like, Patrick Mahomes looks off, the Chiefs offense looks broken. Yeah, of course. And then next thing you know, they just won the Super Bowl. No, they're winning the Super Bowl. Yeah, that's my whole point is it's actually annoying that he can do this and get away with it. So they got Kareem Hunt back. Okay. So it's not going to be the Carson Steele show. Okay. Probably splitting time, I would guess, at running back. Yeah. Kareem Hunt. When was the last time he was on the Chiefs? Was that 2018? I'll look it up. It was a long time ago. I think it was probably like 2018. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that the Chiefs are going to take care of it. If Justin Herbert was playing, if they were healthy, I guess if they weren't the Chargers and had healthy players on offense, then I would say this might be a Jim Harbaugh welcome back to the NFL game. Yeah.

But given what they're dealing with, I feel like it's the Chiefs. Yeah, I'd agree with that. I'm lockstep with you there. And if the Chargers have aspirations of going to the playoffs and that kind of stuff, there's 0% chance to play Patrick Williams. Or sorry, Justin Herbert. Yeah. You have a bye week. Yeah. Okay, last up, Ravens-Bills-Columbia.

I think kind of similar. I believe in the Bills. I think the Bills are very good, but kind of similar to what I was saying about the Vikings. I think this might be the spot. The buy high or sell high and take the Ravens. Yeah. Josh Allen has been. I think he's the MVP right now, right? I think he absolutely is the MVP through three weeks. Yeah. I would say he's gotten off to the best start of anybody. The Ravens still feel like they're very hungry. Yeah. Even though they got their win in, so they're not 0-3. Yeah.

I feel like this is still a very good Ravens team. They lost by like half a foot to the Chiefs. Yeah. The Raiders' comeback was just crazy at the end of that game. Yep. But the Ravens, I'm not selling the Ravens at all. I agree with you. John Harbaugh,

I love this about him. He feels like a real... I mean, the Harbors are just football coaches, but he went and started coaching the offensive line. I think it was last week before the Cowboys game. He's been like, you know what? I'm going to show you how to do it. I love that. Give me this.

Give me this tire iron. I'll change the tire. So that kind of move with his own football team. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll take care of it. So the, the bills are giving up 118 rushing yards per game so far in 2024. Even though two of the three wins have been blowouts. So the other team doesn't have to try to run the ball at all. The Ravens very good at running the football.

Might be a Tractor-Sito game. Yeah, it could be. Because Tractor-Sito looked good last week. He did. He did. This is a fun Sunday night game. Okay.

Okay, that's one more game. Oh, yeah. There's one more game big cat. Oh, yeah commanders Cardinals. Yeah an idiot my bad. No, it's okay I don't know why I have it written down. Uh, I had a beat on this game. This game's gonna be fun I had a beat on this game a month and a half ago now everyone's gonna be like you just missed that on purpose I literally have it written down. That's okay I I put in a bet for some reason like a month and a half ago on the commanders to cover I got a bad number though It was plus three now. I think it's three and a half

Wait, you bet the Commanders plus three a month and a half ago? Yeah. And now it's plus three and a half. Why did you bet this game specifically a month and a half ago? Because I just had an idea about this game. Okay. I was like, this feels like the Commanders are going to be coming into form offensively, and the Cardinals, I still think that their defense is suspect. Got it. So I love the idea, and plus the Cliff Kingsbury factor. Yes. So I was like, I'm going to bet this game. Revenge game. I'm going to bet this game in early August. And you somehow got a worse line in early August. Let me look it up. Commanders. Yeah.

We're awesome? I somehow got a worse line. Yeah, that's not a good sign. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, also, you forget that the Cardinals, people didn't know that the Cardinals were going to be this feisty. But the Cardinals just looked bad on Sunday. Yeah, they did. Let's see. Let's see what my line is. That's hilarious. How is that possible? I don't know.

I don't know. I just saw this. The Commander's office has literally been perfect for two games straight. They had an all-time performance on Monday Night Football, and you still. No, wait. I got the Commander's money line, which was plus 114. What is it now for Commander's money line? Higher than that. You think it's higher than that? It has to be. They're 3.5. Yeah, there you go. So I got a worse number on it.

That's insane. It's bad investing. How did that happen? I don't know. I think it's because the Cardinals offense has looked pretty good and the Commanders defense has looked very, very bad. It did not look good on Sunday.

No, it didn't. It looked bad. It looked bad. It looked bad on Sunday. Also, short week. Nobody had any idea that it was going to be a short week. Yeah, they didn't know the schedule. It is insane, right? That's crazy. Like, the Commanders have been playing as far off the charts in the positive direction for the last two weeks as they could possibly be doing. Right. And, yeah, the Cardinals coming off a bad performance yesterday.

Listen, I'm not the best gambler in the world. That's so funny. I mean, they've been perfect, the commanders. I think there's going to be points galore in this game. Yeah, it should be a fun game. I'm excited for this game. This is... Tressway hasn't punted in two weeks. Not to put pressure on you, PFT. Not to put any pressure on you, but there's a lot of pressure.

You are basically holding our happiness in the afternoon in your hands. Yes. Because Patriots 49ers could get ugly. Yes. Chiefs Chargers could get ugly. Browns Raiders is gross. Yes.

The Commanders and Cardinals have to give us a great game. I'm putting the... Yeah, I'm putting... America is looking to you. The happiness of the nation on my shoulders. Yeah. Like, I just realized that those are terrible games otherwise. Listen, if there's one team that's fun to watch in the NFL, it's the Washington Commanders. You have to deliver.

Are you up for this challenge? I'm up for the challenge. All right. I love it. Again, we talked about how I have to build a winning culture for myself on Wednesday's show. I think part of that is taking on the responsibility of the entire nation. Yeah. Like, I want the pressure. Pressure is a privilege. You know how you can slide the line when you're betting? I wish I could slide the money line and just take a worse line and get in your hole. Yeah.

Take an awkward line right into my hole. Just give back money. He's like, no, it's 145. I'm going to take 114 with my boy. I think, listen, I am obviously very confident. Some may say a little too confident in the commander. Some may say I overreact to one game because I've had nothing but absolute horse shit in my life for the last 12 years. All those people would be losers. They'd be losers and they'd be haters.

I'm very confident in our offense. Our defense, I'm still very realistic about. I think that our defense... We're not the worst in the NFL anymore...

But we're definitely in that conversation for the worst in the NFL. And I think that if Dan Quinn can do anything in his first year, if he can make us to be like the 25th ranked defense or the 22nd ranked defense in the NFL, I think that would be a big win because we just don't have the dudes. We got rid of two of our pass rushers last year. We've got Emmanuel Forbes coming back, which you could somewhat argue that's a negative that he's coming back. Yes, I would argue that. Yeah, although...

He might get a little mojo going if he gets to tackle Kyler because I think Kyler might weigh less than him. True. So that's good. But our defense is bad. He's going to think he's big and strong? Yeah. Man, I'm so strong right now. Our defense is bad, and I don't think that that's going to change too much. It might change a little bit. That's what I'm hoping for over the course of the season. But we're going to have fun. But we're going to have fun. I am concerned about Austin Eckler being out because he's been awesome. And one thing that he's been really good at, we've been waiting for, you know how like –

Cordero Patterson, he was really good at returning kickoffs, right? And the new kickoff system...

Austin Eckler has been the best at returning kickoffs. Yeah. He's been, for some reason, he knows how to return the new dynamic kickoff. Right. Which, by the way, is a great name for it. Agreed. Because even if nothing happens, it's called the dynamic kickoff. Right. And it sounds cool. Austin Eckler has been the best in the NFL at that. He's been very consistent. Him being out with a concussion is going to be, I think, he's going to be felt not only on offense, but special teams is going to be a big factor, too.

I like you guys in this game, and I like this game. Yeah. I'm just... America waits. Sorry for injecting the Jaden Daniels quarterback conversation into a different game. I've just been... My brain this week has been 95% thinking about Jaden Daniels. I've forgotten... I'm actually... That's low. I've forgotten... Yeah, it probably is. That's too low. I've probably forgotten about so much other stuff this week just because my brain is just going, Jaden. Yeah. Jaden. Jaden. That's too low. I should do that with MB to...

When he first started playing. Don't say that. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, he can say that. MVP. You would love a Joel Embiid. Scumbag player that injures people's knees whenever he gets a chance. What? If you were to tell me that Jaden would have the career of Joel Embiid, so he'd win an MVP, he would never get to a conference championship game. Story's not over.

Switch countries to get a gold medal. Yeah. Front run. I don't think I'd take it. I'm not going to make that trade. I think you would. I can do better. I think you would. You can do better. I can do better. You can definitely do better. Like I said, we're going to win a Super Bowl in the next five years. Be considered a top five player in the league even though he's injured every single season. Yeah. Oh, also, don't forget ducking your main competitor. That's true. Your rival all the time. Yeah, I wouldn't want that. Wouldn't want the meniscuses. That's not true. He doesn't do that.

Does he have any minutes? No, definitely not. He needs to go to Germany. All right, let's get to the picks. Let's do our TD parlay first. We have it finding DraftKings. Everyone has a shot to score big with DraftKings touchdown parlay profit boost. This week, all customers get up to 100% profit boost on any NFL touchdown parlay. The more touchdown bets you get,

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Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. In New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of

Boothill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. One boost per day when offered. NFL touchdown parlays only. Maximum 105% boost. Other wagering restrictions apply. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG.co slash FTBall. Hank, PFT myself, or is it? I lost last week. I also lost. Oh, Max is back in. So you, me, PFT, and Max. Okay. I'm going to go Roshan. Roshan Johnson. Okay. Okay.

I think he's going to score. What are the odds on that? I don't know. Probably decent-ish. He's getting an extended look this week. I like that. And I love an extended look. What's your pick? PFT. I'm going to go with Brees Hall. Okay. Okay.

Max? Minus 145. Not great. Not great odds, but Max. I'm going to bring this back. I think these odds will probably change by the time. Roshan is plus 190. Okay. I think these odds will definitely change by the time game time starts for the Dallas Goddard being plus 210 makes no sense.

Okay. In what way? He's the only guy he is. He's the only guy. No, you know what? It honestly makes me think that maybe one of Devontae Smith or A.J. Brown will play. All right. I like Dallas Goddard. I like Dallas Goddard. All right. Let's win this. All right. And then our picks, we have who's in first. I know I'm tied for last with memes. I'm tied for first. I think I might be tied for first. Nice. Nice, boys. All right. Who goes first? I think it's me.

Big Cat goes first. Hank, 3-3. PFT, 3-3. Max, 2-3-1. Me and Big Cat, 2-4. All right, I'll take the over in the Commanders-Cardinals game. All right. I just... I want it. I want that game to be fun so bad. Come in the hole. Hole's wide open. Yeah. All right, Hank. I'm like, goatee. I will take the Packers minus three. Okay. Not going with the hungry dog. Against the Vikings. There will be a hungry dog this week. The dogs have been hungry this season, but...

The hungriest dogs are the ones that don't seem obvious. How was the hungry cat parlay on Monday night? Terrible. That's why dogs, I'm a... You're a dog man. Never go away from the dogs. Cats, gross. Yep, agreed. Agreed. Oh, I just spilled. Oh, no. That's all right. I got a bunch of paper that I'm just going to put. Look at this. Look at this. All right, memes. I'm going to take the Cardinals, minus three and a half. Oh, wow. That's two. What a meme. That's a terrible line. It's against the Washington Commanders. Memes are such a dick. That was such a dick move, memes.

Gassing up your boy, Breeze. I've been trying to be nice to the Jets. The way you were talking made me like the Cardinals more and more. You can suck my dick. Max texted me during the segment to go, it's hammer time on the Cardinals. And Hank responded, yeah. All right, well, you guys can both suck my dick. You don't want to see me... I did not text anyone during that. Yeah, you don't want to see me have success. It's sad. No, it's just...

Like, you know the way you're talking. Oh, 100%. 100%. Like, there is a voice inside me that's telling me, PFT, chill the fuck out. But I'm completely disregarding that. I'm like that dude Stockton Rush with the sub that's going to the Titanic. And you're hearing the sub start to creak. And you're like, fuck it, we're going to see this awesome shipwreck. And it's going to be sweet. And you're going to change the world. That's what I'm thinking right now. I'm ready to be heard again. Yes.

All right, who's up? I am up. I'm going to take the Falcons minus two and a half. Oh, I like that pick. I like that pick. All right, PFT, you got two? Okay. Yeah, I do. I love both these picks. Patriots 49ers under 40.5. Okay. Smart.

And the Washington Commanders plus three and a half. I like a money line, and I love them as a dog. So I'm taking the points. Okay. And I'm getting that fresh new line on them. Yep. Seriously, I wish I could take your line. I would. Yeah. I would. All right. Max. I am going to take Rams Bears under 41 and a half. Okay. Memes. I'm going to take Chiefs Chargers under 40. Okay. Browns Rams.

Raiders over 37. Whoa. Browns Raiders over 37. Points are down. You took the Falcons, right, Max? I'll take the Ravens minus two and a half. Did someone take them? No.

No. Okay. Okay. Last thing before we get to biz and whiz, uh, fantasy fuck boys brought to you by our friends at body armor sports water, the alkaline water that provides real hydration with electrolytes for taste. Everybody's always drinking around the office, the sports drink, the zero sugar, and even the flash IV. After a long weekend, we can't get enough body armor. The sport water, in my opinion, is the best water on the market. Head on over to your local seven 11 and get your body armor sport water today. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,

It's Jamalio Guadamalio. Hey, JG. Jamalio Guadagalio. My stardom, America. Fuck yeah. The greatest country in the world. The place where real football exists. And we're going to fuck up the entire international section of the fucking world this weekend in golf. Love it. I forgot that was even happening. Max Holm is going off.

Wendham Clark going off. Max Holm, a good Italian boy. Scotty Scheffler, 15-15-30 in your fucking grill mix. Love it. Grill mix. My sit-em? Grill mix. Arsenal fans. Arsenal. Let me make something very clear. No one gives a fuck if you tied or lost a game against fucking Man City. This is America. If you're getting mad...

That someone said you lost the game when you really tied And acting like a tie is a win You're a fucking loser Some would say it's not a tie It's a draw or it's a result In my opinion if you fucking Give up a goal and turn a win into a draw That's a loss So don't act like it's a draw or anything worse than a loss It's a fucking loss Fuck you Arsenal fans

Watch real football. Yeah. Man City, what is that? A place that Tom Brenneman never wants to go to? Exactly. My sleeper, Biz and Wiz, coming up next on Pot of My Day. Great interview. Yes. Good plug. Jamalio. Thanks. Jamalio. Hey, what's up, you dickheads? This is Mayor Adams from New York City. I'm starting Mudang. Good.

Moodang is starting. It's a pygmy hippopotamus we talked about. I'm not taking money from Thailand to say this. I'm not making money from Thailand to say this. Just so you know. If your child has a Moodang stuffed animal, look underneath it. There's a good chance...

I agree.

What's up, fuckers? My name is Matthew Sluka. Hey, Sluka. Matthew Sluka. I'm starting myself because I'm not starting anymore. Oh, no. I'm leaving UNLV. The Holy Cross transfer. Yeah. It'd be a real shame if you ended up in Harrisonburg. Yeah, I'm sitting NIL because everyone lies to you, and that's why I'm not starting anymore. Nobody really knows what the rules are.

No one knows. Vegas is a fucking corrupt place where money doesn't work out. Yeah. It's like, this is our thing. This is La Cosa Nostra. You don't tell, you keep your mouth shut if they don't pay you. Am I sleeping? Put this guy in the desert. This is the new quarterback for UNLV, Haj. He looks good, but I only saw one clip of it from Blutman. He tweeted it out. He said he's the real deal, and now I'm in. Haj. Haj. Haj. Going to the desert to pay respects to the Haj. Haj. Yes, exactly.

All right, that was good. Fantasy Fuckboys. That story is New Day. It's NIL. Yeah, so he was allegedly told by an assistant that he was going to get $100,000. Yep. And then he got there, and he got, what, $3,000 a week? Yeah. Is that it? And so now he's like, hey, you told me you were going to pay me, and you're not paying me, so I'm out. Yeah. It's like the young Dolph case. What's that? It's like the young Dolph case. Yeah. Yeah.

I agree. Yeah, I know exactly. It's exactly like Young Dolph. Good point, Hank. Yeah, that was a really good point, Hank. Hey, Young Dolph. Remind, so me and Big Cat know, but memes is over there like, oh, what's going on? So maybe you can tell memes. The men who were arrested for the murder of Young Dolph were told they were going to get $100K. They murdered him, got paid $300, and then $500. So they're arresting the guys that only paid the $300 for not paying? No, now the guys who got arrested are ratting.

And they're like, hey, you should arrest these guys because they actually didn't pay me as much as they said they were going to pay me. Yeah. Very sad. Fucked up. But similar. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Young Dolph. Yeah, I understand from his perspective if he got lied to and he's not going to go play in the NFL and he has one chance to get paid to play football, he's got to take advantage of that red shirt. Our friend Trill Weathers had a good take on it and basically said that NIL is the modern day drug deal gone bad. Yep. If things don't happen according to plan, then what do you do? Who are you going to complain to about it? Yep. He's using the only leverage that he has, which is I have to quit after three weeks and then I can play another season. Yeah. And...

his offense coordinator and head coach from Holy Cross at JMU. Ooh, interesting. Maybe reunite him next year. Interesting. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right, let's get to our interview with Biz and Witt. Before we get to Biz and Witt, brought to you by our good friends over at Chevy,

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We took it to the Super Bowl across the entire country. It was wonderful. It was a nice, nice trip. It was comfortable, and it got us through a safe and sound. It got us through an ice storm in Cincinnati, Kentucky, and El Paso. We had to actually help push another non-Chevy car out of the ice storm down there. Our Chevy had absolutely no problem, but that other truck owner, you could tell he was pretty emasculated, that they needed some help. We were just fine in our Silverado, and

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Okay, we now welcome on our two very, very good friends. Probably our best podcast duo friends. Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, it is. That's an compliment. Yeah, it's... You'd be my second favorite. The Kelseys? Call her daddy. Yeah, call her daddy. You guys would be my second favorite. Second? Who's number one? I think Will and Taylor. Aww. They've gotten to you. They broed you up. Ha ha!

You guys probably... They smoked him up. You probably do a podcast together and then I'll hit the showers. Nice episode, boys. I knew this would get you guys going. Rub me down. Alright, so it's Paul Bissonnette. It's Ryan Whitney here with us. I want it on the record. This is not...

our NHL preview. That's in January. January. This is not our NHL preview. Once football ends. We do not want to, I don't even know if we should talk hockey. Should we do our NHL recap? We could do our NHL recap. We could do an NFL preview with you guys. Oh, sick. I know a little bit about the NFL. Since he's going to be unreal. What do you know about the NFL? They're a very good team. I know that

that Cincinnati Bengals are in trouble right now because what percentage of teams with that start the season even 0-2 don't make the playoffs? I think one of the last 41 I saw make the playoffs. And it was them. It was Cincy.

Ooh, good karma. Good karma. Now they're omen three, though. Now they're omen three. It's a good omen. Good something. Yeah, karma's different. Good karma. Good adjective I can't think of right now. Would it actually be bad karma because they've done it before? I think it's a good omen. Omen. Yeah. Omen. They've got the culture to do it in society. Yeah, you're a vocab guy. They know how to do it. Relax, Eminem. I do have one...

Little hockey question. It's actually Joe Burrow. He's got the frosted tips now. Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah. Little hockey question. Not really NHL preview because, again, we're not going to do it right now. What? Who? Can you guys explain the beef right now? What's the beef?

You guys are beefing with the GM. Oh, oh. What has happened? I'll let Whit handle that. I just see a series of quote tweets where it's like, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I back that guy. That's not a... I never retweeted anything about that. Quote tweets, I said. Quote... I didn't quote tweet it either. Maybe it was the chicklets. Biz might have said that was Squanto's dad being me. Okay. But basically what happened was Jeremy Swayman is this awesome goalie that the Boston Bruins have. And...

They had Linus Allmark as well. He won the Vesna two years ago. Swayman was kind of the backup, but they split time in the regular season. Allmark took over in the playoffs. They lost in seven games to the Florida Panthers. So then going into this past year,

They ended up kind of splitting it, but Swayman took over as more of the number one. Okay. And then going into the playoffs, Swayman was unreal. They beat Toronto in seven, and then they lost to Florida in six. Florida goes on to win the Stanley Cup. Without Swayman, Boston probably loses to Toronto. He was dominant. Oh, that's your team, Biz. That's Biz's team. They can't win. Like the big deal selects. Just wanted to make sure we say that. So...

After this, Allmark now has one year left on his deal. Swayman is a restricted free agent. They tried to trade Allmark at the deadline because they realized Swayman was their guy. He denied a trade that they had lined up with the LA Kings. So because he had the no trade clause where I think he had 10 teams picked, he could decide LA is one of them. I don't want to go there. Why wouldn't you want to go to LA? I don't get it. Don't understand. It will make less sense when you find out that he went to Ottawa.

Okay, okay. So he is European, so maybe that difference in time zone and he's got kids and the face time. Time zone, no trade. I like that. That makes sense. The time zone difference to Europe, yeah. Because there's no other reason where L.A., if he went there, they could be a cup contender. And it's also L.A., pretty nice place to live. And L.A. needs a goalie. They can't get a goalie. So, all right, well, Bruin's like, we got to trade him, we got to trade him.

They end up realizing, or they knew beforehand, that his no-trade list, he could change the teams on it on a certain day. Say it's July 1st. I don't remember the exact day. So they have this trade lined up with Ottawa. They're panicked. We think, we've got to get this done because if tomorrow comes, he may put Ottawa on the list. Right. So they rush trade him to Ottawa. They don't get much of a return. They've got this goalie, Corpozalo, who's struggled for a while now. He's gone upside.

He has been very good, but he had a real bad last two years. And Boston, they think their team defense, they think they could put any above-average goaltender in net, and it's like system QB. That's kind of what Boston's thinking. Like Allmark was doing it, so was Swayman. They were basically doing it at the same time. Swayman has also never played more than 55 games in a row.

and I think he has 135 games in his career. Not durability. They were essentially the last two years sharing the net, but leaned towards more Swayman in the back half of the season because he was playing better, and in playoffs, his numbers speak for themselves. He was, I think, statistically the best goalie, right, Whit? Yeah, and enough where now Four Nations Tournament, Canada, Russia, Canada, Sweden, Finland, U.S. will be facing off this February in best on best. People are like, I think Swayman might be USA's goalie.

Okay. Like he's turned into a star. Some people say he hasn't done it long enough, whatever.

Backstory a little bit. The summer prior, the Bruins took Swayman to arbitration. Arbitration is where Biz makes the joke that all they do is rip on you. They say you got a small cock, a bad breath, horrible teammates. Your wife says you're horrible. That's exactly how arbitration works. They go in and they just bury you. Well, apparently they were so bad and so brutal to Swayman, he was pissed off. He was disgusted. It left a bad taste in his mouth. Sounds like he might have a small cock.

Who knows what they said? Who's it that rips on you? Is it the GM? I don't know if it's the actual GM or their lawyer. I don't know who actually is doing the ripping, the actual talking. Because if it's like not a hockey guy, just like a lawyer that's doing it, that would piss me off too. Yeah, you just know where it's coming from. Right? So it's Don Sweeney, the GM.

So now they decide to trade Allmark. They don't have a contract with Swayman yet. He's still restricted, but they have decided to trade Allmark before this contract with Swayman, maybe figuring that they could just get him on the cheap and that he might agree to whatever, fall in line. But Swayman's got the bad taste in his mouth from arbitration. And then he did an interview where he talked about he understands that he does, he wants to

set the goalie market. He doesn't want to fuck over other goalies in the NHL and take this low ball offer. So the stalemate has come to the point now. I get news from somebody that Swayman got a recent, his last offer from the team after the team really didn't talk to him much during the summer, which is kind of standard in maybe July and June. So that leads us to today. I get word that

They've given him an offer four years times 6.2. Apparently his offer was eight years times nine, which is definitely overreaching, but 9.25, which was the McAvoy contract. That was their comparable. Got it. So I like how you guys are tag teaming this. Yeah, exactly. I love it. Hop in whenever you want. So I find out that the offer is four years times 6.2 crazy low ball and that they, that they haven't talked in like three weeks. It's August camps in 10 days. Um,

So I said it on the podcast. I was talking about what I'd heard, and we just kind of thought nothing of it. Biz was like, oh, shit, because I hadn't told him prior. I was getting excited. I was like, oh, we got this. He's saying this on the pod. Fans are going to be like, oh, this is the most we've heard about this all summer. Drama. So say I said this...

Early September, if not late August, Don Sweeney, the GM of the Bruins, does a press conference the day before camp opens. That's pretty standard procedure for all the GMs. And in the middle of the press conference, he's being asked kind of over and over, what's up with Swayman? Camp starts tomorrow. You don't have your star goalie. You could tell he's frustrated, annoyed. I'm not going to address any of the rumors. Actually, I'll address one.

That part, that spitting up on yourself podcast. You call it spitting up on yourself? Called it the spitting up on yourself podcast. We got him. Yeah, boom. I'm like, oh, he's calling us names. He's talking about us. This is amazing. He's a big fish. He's like, they, um, biz. Everyone loves biz. My son loves biz. I know he's an entertainer. He's talking about that. I didn't return Jeremy Swayman's calls for three weeks. That's bullshit.

So we're like, this is phenomenal. We were at Chicklets Cup when it broke, spitting up on yourself podcast. The guy has no clue. And also, I had the contract offer, right? He didn't argue that. So whether it was two weeks, three weeks, or ten days, there's been enough silence in August with your star goalie that it's seriously alarming to most Bruins fans. Right, yeah. And I would think that the Bruins, they're generally, I think, Biz, when you talk about the best regimes in hockey—

Would you consider them to be one of the best? Include this biz. Sorry, quickly. They have, since Don Sweeney took over as GM, I think 10 years ago, the most points in the NHL. Yeah, I would say a very successful regime. They probably would have one, maybe two more cups.

if they would have executed their drafts flawlessly or even like... Got to bounce here. They go into game seven. Yeah, like 80% to 85% strike rate. They had three first-rounders one year, and I think they missed with every one, didn't they? One of them was DeBrusque. DeBrusque. So DeBrusque was solid, but then there was a couple that were right around those other picks where you're like, oh, buddy, that's the guy. I know it's hard to predict...

predicting the draft. So not full criticism to him, but overall replenishing, getting good free agents at the right price. They've really moved on from the right people at the right time. And he deserves a lot of credit, but I was a big fan of yours too. Uh,

I agree with wit where I don't think that they really thought this through, especially after having kind of pissed him off in last year's arbitration. There was a reason they didn't have enough money to pay him last year. This big contract, they didn't have it this year. Now I think they have 8.6 million now left in cap space where they're,

What I view as a slap in the face offer was the four years at 6.2. They should have offered him, like, give him security, but maybe start off at, like, 7 per. I think there's not a chicken dick's chance in hell he doesn't at least get eight times eight. Oh, a chicken dick? Chicken dick's chance in hell. Well, here's another kind of... Chicken dicks are smaller in hell. Yeah. Another aspect of this is that his agent...

represented, if not still represents, William Nylander, who years back held out until like December 1st with the Maple Leafs in the same exact situation. He's like the Scott Boras? And he got what he wanted. And he got what he wanted. So I know you guys have a lot of football fans and other sports fans. So moving forward, it's a gamble because they have that Corpozalo who struggled the last couple years. I heard he had a lot of upside. Lots of upside. So all of a sudden, you get him in front of this structured team with good defense and

and good special teams. Anybody can be a good goalie for the Bruins. And he has a hot start. What do you mean by that, PMT? It's kind of like a system, kind of like Mike Shanahan, Kyle Shanahan. Got it. You get a running back or you get a quarterback in there, and then you're just playing play. Let him go.

Let him go. When he had it so big. We're making good points. You are. I was listening to your football analogy. Yeah, because the way their defense is set up, you don't need a superstar. You don't need a freak back there. But if you go back to playoffs, he was probably their best player overall. He was their star. And they've been so close. It's kind of like, hey, we're going to go to arbitration. Well, except for his two out of three first round picks. We're going to go to arbitration. We're going to rip you apart.

and then all of a sudden you become the starter, you lead us in the playoffs, and that system –

did let him down a bit based on the amount of shots they were giving up, and he stood on his head against Florida. So it's like, oh, fuck, oh, he proved it, so then offer him. He's your guy. And if he wasn't your guy, why the fuck did you trade the Vesna winner from two years ago before he had it? Because you wanted to get Corpozalo and like a draft pick and maybe some prospect? Like, come on here. Manage your assets better. He fumbled the deal, and he called him out on it, and he said it was a slap in the face offer. The only discrepancy was Witt said, like,

like basically like he didn't return swayman's camp's callback where worst case there was radio silence for three weeks unacceptable and then boom boom boom so this happens it is awesome for the pot right like whenever a gm calls you out yeah it's like it's an original six franchise with an enormous question mark as camp begins over their star goalie and the guy's talking about us like you think he's rattled yeah yeah so i mean obviously like

You don't ever want to be on the side of saying something on the pod. It turns out it's not true with the size that our show is. But what do I have to get out of making that up? Right. So what happens if they don't come to an agreement? So here's the kicker. So I think December 1st, maybe a week or two discrepancy, if he is not signed by that time, he's not going to be on the show.

they forfeit the season. He can't play at all. So let's say Corpozalo, all of a sudden he's 10-4 with a 9-10, 9-15 save percentage and a goals against average a little above 2. It's kind of like,

Holy fuck, Swayman's going to start sweating. Because they're going to see, see everybody? We could put any guy in here. Last fucking four goalies were successful playing in front of this team. Right, so Swayman might end up in a position where he is rooting against, in a way, he's rooting for the Bruins to win, but he's rooting for them to win 6-5. Now, on the flip side, probably more likely...

Corpozalo's trash at the beginning and they're losing and the fan base is already loud about get him signed then it's like you could lose your job right so I need you to tell me what side to be on and I will be very vocal well we're the players side yeah always and we're the players side and also it's not just the players because I told Biz if Swayman was like I want 9.5 and I'm not budging I'd be like alright

Well, you're ridiculous. 135 games in league? No. I think that – I think if Boston said here's eight years at 7.75 – I was just going to say that number. Wow. 7.75. That to me is like shake it now. You got your length. If Swayman's saying, no, I ain't taking less than 8.75, then I'm kind of in a situation where maybe I would be Don Sweeney and saying, well, wait it out because that's not the offer we're ever going to give you. Yeah.

December 1st, tick, tick, tick, and we'll see who has the leverage by then. And it's basically, what do you call it when you line up to the back and you walk out and then you shoot? It's a duel. Yeah. It is a duel. I love that. So you guys are like, you get sources now, huh? He does. All the time. No, not a ton, but like... I feel like this happened a few times for you guys in the last... Well, here were you... Two big ones. But you've broken stories that the rest of the NHL media is just not even on. Right.

Sometimes it happens by accident. Yeah, and some of the times guys get... We're not insiders by any means, but insiders will get information and the source giving it to them will be like, you can't say anything though. So they know, but they got to wait on it or something like that. I don't...

But if whoever's telling me something's like, yeah, I don't care. Like, just make sure you don't say my name. And it's something that is like worthy to talk about. I'll talk about it, especially if it's like to try to help a player, because this guy, in my mind, deserves eight times eight. Right. Right. That's just our opinion. Yeah.

That's good for you guys. I'm on your side. I also, I mean, it's cool that you guys have set it up where players can trust you. That's the goal. Right, exactly. And you guys can like, because I just love it whenever you guys stick it to traditional media. It's just so much fun to watch. And what's funny is,

I've had three texts I've showed him some things that I was asked not to share since then that are like, oh my God, people don't really like Don Sweeney that much. Right, right. We're going to get back to biz and whiz in a second. Brought to you by The Farmer's Dog. The days are warmer. The walks are longer. One easy way to help your dog shine this season is with fresh, healthy food from The Farmer's Dog. Blake has been on The Farmer's Dog. Stella eats The Farmer's Dog. This morning, Blake...

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Plus, you get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash PMT to get 50% off. That's thefarmersdog.com slash PMT. And now, here is more Ryan Whitney and Paul Bissonnette. I don't know about that. Do you guys get offended when people are like, oh, your podcast doesn't know shit?

Do you get offended when people are like, you guys don't really know hockey? No, because some people might not listen all the time. So when we're tweeting out all these hashtag rumor boys, they might not know we're fucking around. We say stuff like you guys that just can take... Well, we don't know shit. Yeah, but sometimes we don't either. But we can laugh at ourselves. I don't really give a fuck. That's why you guys are really good. But yeah, and we make like...

I would say some ridiculous claims where we're joking around a lot. So people are like, these idiots, these clowns. It's like, well, yeah, we're trying to make people laugh. But when you get in the depths of actually talking hockey, we both know what we're talking about. People disagree. But to say they have no clue what they're talking about when they're talking about the game, if you want to say that, that's fine. But we both know that. Right. We know the game. You know the game, yeah. A lot of people know way more about it than I do, but a lot of people listening don't. There should also be a wild rumor to just pull out of your ass.

Yes, it would. The numbers are so specific. What do we gain out of that? Nothing. I got another hockey question, not the NHL preview. Can Conor McDavid win the big one? Good question. No doubt in my mind. There has to be a little doubt. He's never won the big one.

I know. I just don't have – yeah, obviously. I guess that's a good point by you. I'm very confident that this is the year. This is the year. Yeah, and I know I've said that previously, but they've lost to the last three Stanley Cup champs. They have a better team this year than they did last year where they got to game seven of the cup final.

They have Leon Dreisaitl signed up to a long-term extension. McDavid will be next. Their top six are the best top six forwards in the league. They need help on the right side of the defense where they'll be able to because of the cap space they have.

And they're in a great spot. So yeah, winning a cup is so difficult, but I don't see him not getting one. And this year, I think, is the year. If you said life or death, four years, like a four-year span, I would say they would win one cup. That would be my guess, life or death.

Okay, rumor boys. In the next four years. I heard that McDavid might not sign a long-term deal if they can't win the big one, and he wants to go play somewhere else. So many people have said that and continue to say that. The big change in that topic is that him and Dreisaitl are best friends.

And Leon was up for an extension this year. He has one year left on his deal, but he can be resigned July 1st with one year left in the contract. So everyone's like, oh, is Leon coming back? If he leaves, Connor's definitely leaving. He signed an eight-year deal at $14 million a year, highest paid player in the league. Okay. And now that's... Biggest contract in history. Biggest contract...

I don't know if it was bigger than Ovechkin's, right around there. Okay. So now the whole discussion is, in my opinion, and what Oilers fans are saying is they're so close, Leon's not re-signing if he doesn't know from Conor that he'll re-sign as well. All right, so question about that, though. If he signed the biggest contract, Conor McDavid, I assume, is going to sign a bigger contract. Per year, I meant. So 14 per. I bet you Conor's worth 16. Well, he's worth about 30. What happens to the Oilers' cap, though?

Are they fucked? I think the cap is going to go up a significant amount each year to where that's why I said it might take year three or four.

Because if they don't win it next year, all of a sudden you're going to have that 14 on the books. Luckily you get one more. We got bugs in the office. Luckily you'd have one more year of Connor at a fair number. But it'll get really difficult that following third year, I would say. Got it. If you got one guy making 16 and 14 and 30 million your cap and two players...

oh, God forbid one of them goes down during a run. Like, that's just like, that's catastrophic. I heard McDavid wanted to maybe go to L.A., play for the Kings. Oh, where'd you hear that? Win some Stanley Cups there. Then maybe finish his career out in New York. Where'd you hear that? The turtle they have. I just made it up right now. Oh, Wayne? I made it up right now, rumor boy. The Wayne route. There you go. So is there a possibility that he told Dreisaitl, like,

Hey, let them think that if they re-sign you, they are also going to keep me. Get as much money as you can because I'm your best friend. But he would have got as much money as he wanted anywhere. Anywhere. More. So if Leon played this year, he probably would have, yeah, if not 14, it would have been even more for another team. Okay, so then I feel like Oilers fans should be feeling somewhat safe. Once Leon re-signed, there was a giant sign of relief, not just for him, but the fact that it looks like Conor will be back. But now saying that, though, let's say Conor all of a sudden had a change of heart.

Leon has the power to probably just go to the organization if he doesn't want to be in Edmonton anymore and basically say, I'm not coming here. Find a way to move me and get what you can back in return. I love how you say organization. So Canadian. I love it. What? How you say organization. Organization. I love it. Every time you say it that way, I love it. I don't even know. Organization.

Organization. Yeah, I love it. We more say organization. I love how you say it. I'm being serious. I love when you say it. It sounds so hockey official. Yeah, it's just something about it. It's just more official when it's like the organization.

Say regime. Regime. Yeah, that's good too. It's almost French the way you say it. Regime. Biz, are you about to, when does your crazy schedule start? Not next week, the week after. And then you're in Atlanta? I go to, yeah, I fly there I think on Tuesday the 8th, so that'll be the

the opening day of NHL and then Wednesday the 9th we start our broadcast and actually from there I'll be going to Boston we're going to do some stuff in Boston with Pink Whitney I think we're going to get another sandbagger and then that following Tuesday we have to can we do a sandbagger with you guys I would love to with you two we tried doing one with you guys but you guys are tough to track down boys

If I'm a Bills 1N, what's your handicap? A lot. I'm not very slow. You have to maybe do a scramble where I play with you and then you play with Witt or vice versa. I think if you did it honestly, I'd probably be like a 23.

I think I'd be like a 45. Oh, no. So me and you will play PFT in business. Perfect. And then Hank will just play in front of us. And Hank will play 36 holes like the day before. He's got to scout it out. He's got to scout it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to make sure. He's got a location scout. So McDavid can win the big one. Can the not a big deal selects ever win the big one? Oh, tell everyone about it. This is our ball hockey team. Well, Keith Yandel is a guest of yours. Tell me about ball hockey. I want to hear more about the football.

format I want to hear about ball hockey because it looks insane so it's very competitive and the arena is very small the ones that they build at Chicklets Cup because we collab with this guy Brad Jones from Hockey Fest and

So it just so happens the ball hockey rinks they have are small and it's three on three. So they're just, the games get so physical and these guys take it so seriously. And then of course, cause we put a team in, um, a few professional teams started popping up and now, I mean, we had eight teams in the A division for ball hockey. I want to expand to, uh, to 16 teams, uh,

But, yeah, we've done it five times. This is our first ever one in Canada we just did. We've never won our own ball hockey tournament. And we bring in ringers. Are you in the A-League? Yeah, they haven't even got to the finals. Are you guys both playing? Put it this way. No, he didn't even play this year. I played professional hockey 12 years, played in the NHL for five years.

I can't keep up with these guys from a physical and running and just the amount of wear and tear over the course of playing three round robin games and then two more semis and then finals. I feel like I got in a car accident the next day. Yeah, there's real hits. Oh, at one point in this tournament, a guy got run over in the corner and as he's down and people are like, penalty, another guy on that same team just was standing out like near the back of the rink and just butt-ended the guy next to him, which is just sticking the end of the stick

You just take it out of the top end and just got him in the kidney. So it's vicious. It's full-on physical, full-on checking, cross-checking, spearing. And the amount of running back and forth, it's intense, very intense. Like, I got buddies. Well, that leads to Yann's.

I got buddies who are like oh I'd put in a team I'm like this isn't street hockey this is like game seven of the cup final right but Yans is so sick and tired of hearing what the big deal selects and them not winning that he's like I'm done with you guys I'm putting a team wait so is he on the big

deal no he's never played never played he's seen the social clips and he's just like enough of you big deal selects the big deal they can't get out of the fucking semifinals so yans you're listening to this right now if you need assistant coaches pft and i are in for your team so he's gonna assemble a team next year we're in i'm wearing a suit yeah we're in so that's why i want to take down we we want to win your ball hockey tournament before you do

That's what we're going to do with Jans. Oh, you're going to come out? Yeah, yeah. No, we're assistant coaches of his team if he'll accept us. Okay, so that's why I want to expand to 16. We're trying to get it done at the Calgary Stampede, which would be unbelievable. Oh, that's the one where you dress like a cowboy and get drunk for 10 days? Yes, that one. That's not the only thing he's doing. We would basically go, we'll put him in our division.

And it's lose or go home. So if they advance farther than us, then I'll never put the big deal selects. My team is done. We can fold the team. Oh, yeah. It's over. Never to be spoken of again. I mean, me and Kat run such a good system. It doesn't matter who's in goal for us. Are you saying it's like Brock Purdy? Yeah, it's kind of like that. Because our defense? Yeah, we're kind of taking that Brock Purdy thing to hockey, which has never been done before. Okay.

So you guys think if it's at the Calgary Stampede, you guys will be able to make it or just send players? I can say no. Fuck you, Max. End of June? Okay, here's the deal. End of June could possibly work. No, here's the deal. Max is right. I'm going to step back a little.

I'm going to take a quick step back. You're going to be owner and funder. I'm going to be, we're going to be owners and funders. So you have to cover the cost. You have to pay the ringers to fly in and maybe they're going to ask for money. I don't know. This is, you guys are all in with flights and hotels for 10 grand each.

If Hank doesn't dunk, we're in. We'll just take that money and use it. And then the team to be named will be... Well, Yance is involved too. He fucking made $70 million. Yeah, Yance. Listen, Yance, we will contribute to the team. We just want our name on the cup when we win the whole thing and the big deal selects are crying and... There's a villain called Noseface Killa.

And he already DM'd me. He didn't show up this year. He bailed last minute like the rat he is. And he already DM'd me saying it's time for you to join the dark side in a sense of bringing him into the big deal selects. Not a chance. But I think Yans is going to pick up this noise. He was randomly Yans' stick boy at Cushing Academy when he was playing high school hockey. The kid's horrible.

Wait, but is he bad at hockey? No, he's unreal. Oh, he's in. He's in. I'm going to say right now, what's his name? Noseface Killer. All right, he gets $1,000 out of my pocket to play. First tournament. And that has nothing to do with the money we're going to put up otherwise. $1,000 if he's on the team. I'll match. All right, $2,000 if he's on the team. First time we saw him in Detroit, first tournament we did. Noseface in the casino. Oh, yeah.

He was like barking ass. I'm going to come here and win your ball hockey tournament. Yeah, that's how a man plays hockey. We're like Wawrenski from the Columbus Blue Jackets has a team with his buddies who all played hockey. Like you guys are going to get dusted. And he came out and he fucking dummied them in the round robin game. And then Wawrenski's team beefed up and brought on some fighter guy. And then they smoked him in the final. No, no. Noseface scored an overtime.

Yes! He scores clutch. And then a villain was born. He's on our team. He's got the clutch gene. That's the kind of guy that we want. So I want to not only have your team folded, I want you to sign over property, intellectual property of the Big Deal Selects to myself and Big Cat. So we take over ownership of your team. Yes. And then we'll choose whether or not we want to play them again. No, no, no. We can turn them into the worst team ever. No, we're going to take the Big Deal Selects and we're going to move them to Utah. That's what we're going to fucking do.

You're a fucking asshole. That'd be a good place to have an attorney, actually. You're a fucking asshole. The Utah Select. We get complete ownership of the big deal selects. Okay, so when you guys announce your team, I want the same thing in return. I want all ownership rights. Fine. Of our brand new team that we don't care about? Yeah. I think Yann's ownership team. I don't give a fuck. Sure. You're going to have to remind me when this happens. Okay. Okay. You got a lot going on. We're all in. I didn't know that Yann's... When he listens, he's a listener.

When he hears this, hit us up. You're getting a call. Let us know. I'm interested to hear his team name. Whatever the number. Yeah. Listen, we're hands-off owners. We're just the money guys. Also, Yanz is the money guy, too. Yeah. Yanz is also the money guy. And if MJ wants to contribute, I know they golf together. He can contribute as well. And you guys might be like, you guys are terrible owners. We've won a premier lacrosse league championship. So we are at least one-time champions. You've won something. We have.

Did you get the rings? Yeah, we did. We lost them. They're around here somewhere. Swear to God, we lost them. They're definitely in the office. We don't know where they are. And then Max got involved. The problem is we put all the rings together and we're like, all right, remember the rings are here? And then we lost where they all were. Then Max got involved and the next year they finished second place. Yep.

How about that? A loser. Just a fact. A loser. That's a Philly guy. Yeah, I would actually also like to have Max is free to be the assistant coach for the Big Deal Selects. We want him on your team. We have too many coaches. No, he could be the water boy. Sure. All right, great. He's never won a thing. Oh, okay. Stick boy. I've won. He could be stick boy for your team. He has won. They did beat the Patriots.

He's one. He's one. That's true. I was listening to the most recent episode of Spitting Chicklets. I'm a fan. And there was a story that you guys kind of danced around that I thought maybe you'd like to share with us. Because I didn't know this, but apparently, Biz, your sister is married to a guy named Paul. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Yeah. Let's just preface this with I ran into Biz's sister at the ball hockey tournament.

And she's so nice, so friendly, talkative. And we're, she always brings up the story. Like, can you not talk about the Pauls? And I was like, yeah, no problem. I won't. And then she's like, and by the way, you've never met. Here's my husband, Paul. She married him. Yeah.

Biz was the one that first told this on Chicklets. Yeah, and then I went over to my parents' house for brunch one day, and she was staying there with Paul, the husband, and brunch was ready. Hey, can you go upstairs and get Nat? And I knocked, and it was like, yeah. And I opened the door, assuming like, yeah, come in. International sign for come in. And I walk in, and Paul is just plowing my system.

Right before French toast and eggs and bacon. Just throw it in the woodshed on Natalie. Just give her the Reebok earrings. Good old Paul.

So I left brunch. You didn't go to brunch? I grabbed a quick strip of bacon and I was out of there. I'd seen enough. And then he just started DMing every girl with the same name as his sister. Yeah, you got to find your sister. You got to find her name somewhere. And then just trick her into walking in. I met a girl, Natalie, once that I liked, but I couldn't get over the hump. I was like, let's stop this before it gets serious. And now...

Paul, her ex-Paul, is with that Natalie. So it all worked out. What's even crazier is I went on a few dates this summer because one of my buddies had introduced me to a girl and I took a liking to her. But she had the same name as my father, which is Camille.

C-A-M-I-L-L-E. So I was like, I told you, right? Yeah. So I was like, Jesus, it'd be a little weird if I bring home Camille to meet Camille and Paul's there with Natalie. And then just this orgy starts. Just too much. I don't think I could. You guys got to dress up together. You know what's even crazier? Yeah. She dated another Paul when she was in high school. She's got a type? What? So she's in love with you.

Dude, your sister's in love with you. Your sister never wants this to be talked about. Your sister is in love with you. You said you couldn't date a girl named her name, but she has no problem whatsoever. She does not have that flaw. Well, he's trying to stop this. It's like the incest couple. At one point, there's one kid. It's like, we got to end this. Holy shit. Your sister loves you a lot. More than loves.

She's just finding Paul's left and right. You guys are very close. It's a deal breaker. She's swiping right on everyone who's not her left. I don't know. No, no. Like when you put in like what you want in the dating app, she just writes only Paul. Only Paul's.com. Paul's only. Oh, she's going to kill me. When she said. She's going to kill me. When she said. He might divorce her now. What are you going to do with that? She'll find another Paul.

What are you talking about? There's plenty of Pauls in the sea. Go down the local construction site. Anyone named Paul. Have you ever introduced her to Gaz? No. Okay. Stay away. Stay away. No, she doesn't like bald Pauls. Oh, okay. Well, he's not bald. He just wears a hat all the time. Yeah, true. You don't know that. True. Very true.

Gas is ripped now. Oh, my God. He's on TRT for sure. When does this come out? Friday. Okay, yeah. I'm going to be getting a text Saturday morning. Okay. No one's going to hear this. No. Nobody listens to this show. Nobody listens to this show. All right. Final thoughts. Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Promo code TAKE. 20% off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com. Promo code TAKE. Since this isn't the hockey preview, give us your World Series winner.

This is going to be fun for you. Want to know something crazy? Oh, I do. That was way, like, overly hyped. It's not crazy. It's not the socks, right? The socks are brutal, aren't they? Do you remember when I came on the show and you guys relentlessly tortured me for saying McDavid was better at his sport than anyone else in the world? Was it their sport? Yeah, but he only plays a third of the... I've now switched it to Otani. Ah, smart. And I'm, like, obsessed with watching this guy play baseball. It might be...

if you don't watch football it might be travis hunter oh yeah travis hunter really dude there's a college player who's that good he plays wide receiver and cornerback he played 144 snaps the other night for who for colorado and he went to dion's first school that was i believe like all black school yeah jacksonville yeah number one recruit in the nation had never committed to an hbs

CU. He went there to follow Deion, and then Deion went to Colorado, and he followed him there. And he still has to play one more year of college. No, I think he'd come out this year.

This is his second year at Colorado, so he'll be... Not the first pick? He might not be the first pick because they don't... Wide receivers... I don't know what he's going to play because you can make the case he's wide receiver one and cornerback one. Yeah, he's the best cornerback by far in college football. And he's definitely... He's probably top three or four wide receivers. So, you know, I guess it's similar to Otani that, like, never again did people think, like, somebody would come in and be an elite pitcher and bat and be unreal. He's done that. Nobody's done...

consistently offense and defense in the NFL. Maybe he'll be the guy that does it. I think the most remarkable part about it, I would assume that, what, 75% of people listening assume that he was... The gambling stuff was, in fact, him. What? Travis Hunter. Oh, Shohei. Shohei. Travis Hunter's never done a thing wrong. I think... Yeah, I don't think we know the full story yet. But we were saying it's probably...

Fair to assume that like he might have known what was going on. I've actually been on the side of I've thought he was innocent. And the only reason I thought this was because I think people underrated the fact that he was in a he's in a foreign country, doesn't speak the language. And his only lifeline to the outside world was this interpreter. And so I think the interpreter like that's a prime advantage of a guy to take advantage of him. Like if he was if he was a native English speaker, like.

And he had a best friend. I'd be like, this is bullshit. He knew what was going on. I just think that that interpreter was able to keep a lot of stuff from me. And I'm not even good at checking my finances. And if you have that much money, is he ever looking? My take would be is if it comes out that he was involved, he's easily the goat because the fact that he could do what he's doing now with that on his conscience is mind-numbing.

Think about that. If he was doing that and all that was breaking and you're going into this season and still with probably being under a microscope of people trying to dig that up and you do what he's doing now, the GOAT. They would also tell you how good he was at baseball if the MLB commissioner was actually like, yeah, we know it was you, but we're not going to

punish you that's what i was gonna say that if if even if this guy was caught in a casino stealing people's chips like mlb like sweep this under the rug the biggest signing ever the biggest global superstar they've ever had but we were i was listening to a part a great hockey podcast we both listened to elliot freeman has a show 32 thoughts he's the number one insider in the game so it's way different than ours because you know it's legit he's yeah it's legit you guys are inside so so

He was talking about Otani and what he accomplished this year. Him and his co-hosts were talking about what it would be in the NHL to do that, the 50-50. They said it's 100 goals, 100 assists. Holy shit. Which has obviously never been done. It would be like 100 goals and 100 saves.

No, I think it would be. Well, no, he's not pitching this year. I think it would be 40. If you did, well, I guess it would be 40 wins would probably be what a goalie is good at. 40 wins, 100 goals. He is not pitching this year, which might change it because he would have played less games if he was pitching. But this is the most incredible. Wait, stay. We're about to finish. We're about to finish. Say goodbye. We're about to finish. Say goodbye. Bye, guys. Love you. Love you, Paul and Natalie.

I just watch these Dodgers games now. He had a – I think it was a walk-off against the Red Sox earlier. It's just – it's unbelievable. And then he's that big and that fast. Yeah, it's nuts. It's insane watching this guy. That was a wild move by Biz.

That's a biz move. I've never seen that happen before. Paul pissing that biz move. I just did my last question. We'll be mid-interview on Zoom and he just gets up and disappears. Got a hose. Did you even ask the question? I asked the last question. Then he just knew that it was about to end. He thought it was not a great question. What was the question? I don't know, but now we have a disaster brewing. Go ahead. Come on. I got to eat. Join the couch real quick. I got to eat.

Sit down on the couch, sir. Jaden Daniels was so good. Yes, he's awesome, isn't he? There wasn't even a word to describe him. All right, Witt, talk in the mic. Talk in the mic. All right, Witt, thank you. We love you, Witt. We were doing an interview. Oh, okay.

Am I disrupting? I am. No, we're going to give him. I was just saying we're doing an interview, but yeah, I know. Am I interrupting? No, no, no. Of course not. Of course not. Biz already got up to piss. You didn't text me back. Sorry, I was busy still. I was busy. I was recording a bunch of stuff all day today. Totally.

I knew that Stu was up to something today because I got like five texts from him telling me how many joints he had. And I was busy. I could not smoke. Oh, you brought the bag. I could not smoke all day today. So that's why. Stu's very high right now. Yeah, very high. Give some to Hank. Okay. Some to you. It's legal. It's 100% legal. So I bought it legally. It's legal. Okay. Some to Hank, some to you, a couple to Megan. I'm not giving. I don't need any.

Okay. I would love some. Stu asked the other day to take my kids to the zoo. And the aquarium. Yeah, and I was like, Stu, they go to school.

He was just like, what? Do you want a couple of joints? You go to school. Although, Stu. All right, you guys. All right. All right. Thank you, Stu Feiner. Yeah. See you, Stu. That was great. Anything significant you want to touch on? No, no. That was it. We loved having you on. All right. Thank you, Stu. Thanks, Stu. That was Stu Feiner. Oh, thank you, Stu. And he's handing him a bunch of weed. All right. And he's giving me a kiss. Don't spill the thing. All right. I love you. We were taking that.

I love you forever. I love you forever. All right. That's the interview. Speak the universe out as he wishes. The Chicklets, guys, were brought to you by Coors Light. There's no sports experience quite like the rivalries between college football teams. And now on Saturdays, you can get even closer to the action with Coors Light and DraftKings. Coors Light teamed up with DraftKings for the free-to-play college football pick-em pool where you can pick winners for a chance to win big. But when the rivalries heat up, choose chill and then reach for an ice-cold Coors Light.

When you're looking to keep a chill, there's only one beer to choose. That's Coors Light. The mountains on the bottles and cans even turn blue when your beer is cold. So you know when your mountain cold refreshment is ready for you. When things heat up, it's a good time to choose chill and crack open a Coors Light. I was drinking Coors Light on Monday night, watching my commanders play against the Cincinnati Bengals. Had a couple beers before the game, and they were Coors Lights, and they were ice cold.

It was a perfect pregame meal. Had a couple Buffalo Wings, too. Nothing pairs better with Buffalo Wings than Coors Light. That's just a fact. Saturdays just got hotter, but you can choose to chill with Coors Light and DraftKings. Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to CoorsLight.com slash take.

21 and up eligibility restrictions apply. Void where prohibited. See terms at DraftKings.com slash Coors Light Pick'em. Celebrate responsibly. Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. Okay, let's wrap up the show, boys. Firefest of the week. Hank. Spiders. Back. No! No! It's a war. Oh, no. And I'm losing. No. Wait, are they...

But it's about to be... That's the problem. Oh, they're trying to get inside. Yes. They can feel the winter, the winds changing. And there's... My issue is that I can clear them off of my balcony.

But there's windows on the side. I probably already said this last time we talked about this, but I can't get to all of them. So there's ones that are alive that I think when I take out all their friends, they come in and try and get revenge. I got a spider bite earlier this week. You did? You probably swallowed a couple. Definitely. Have you thought about getting one of those long vacuum cleaners on a stick? Like the long tube ones so you can reach around the corner. Yeah, but that's scary.

What's the, um, what's the thing? Imagine reaching around that corner. Yeah. Yeah. What's the, what's the stat? Like everyone swallows at least eight spiders in the room? Yeah, that was used to be in like our school agendas or whatever. Yeah. That was like one of those, like, remember, you know what I'm talking about? It was in your school agenda that you swallow eight spiders a year? No, the school, every, like, remember they'd give you an agenda where you're supposed to like keep your schedule and shit? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, and it had little trivia facts? It had little fun facts every month. That's not true. I don't remember this, but I'm going to take your word for it. I promise you, and I promise you, you guys are old, but I promise you there's thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of Adabos who know exactly what I'm talking about.

There was 12 fun facts or whatever in each one per month, and that was always one. But this is not true. You swallow 13 spiders a year. It's not true. No, not a year. Yes. There's no chance it's true. Also... It was in the agenda, dude. I'm pretty sure that this is... All right, what does it say? Uh...

Reality, however, is quite different. We swallow no spiders at all. Yeah. You used to think you spider. How many spiders do you eat? No, it was eight. The belief that we swallow an average of eight spiders in our sleep every year has become so ingrained in popular culture that many people now have since it is a fact. I also just always assumed when they said an average, like a human swallows an average of eight spiders a year, it was just like one dude in Australia eating thousands of spiders. That actually could bring it up. Yeah. Yeah.

But I don't think that spiders are so dumb that they would crawl into your mouth. No, they're smart as fuck. Yeah, so they're not going to crawl into your mouth. I think that's what I'm saying. I get concerned about revenge. Yeah, they're coming for you. It's a problem. It is a problem. You should just move.

Depends. We'll see how this winter goes. Winter's coming. Winter's coming. All right, PFT? I mean, I don't really have a Fyre Fest this week. It's more of a F-I-R-E Fest because I've had a very good week. Oh, nice. I've had an excellent week this week. And so I guess my Fyre Fest is I just think about Jaden all the time. Nice. Just all the time. I was thinking about him earlier tonight. I was watching the game. I was like...

Man, football is so unwatchable when Jaden's not playing. Yeah. It's definitely not going to come back to bite me. No. Like, I'm not setting myself for any sort of disappointment down the line by saying this. But yeah, I've had a pretty good week. I guess the exception would be I had to get some stitches out.

And this was last Friday. I had to get some stitches out in Austin. Oh, the stitches were in Austin? Yeah, I got the stitches out in Austin. Nice. No, okay. So what happened was when I had the procedure, it was like a small line across the very back of my head. And they had to stitch it up together.

So I had stitches. I went into the doctor's office. My doctor in Boston that gave me the new hair stuff, or excuse me, moved my own hair around on my head. Told me, yeah, you can go into any like minute clinic, any urgent care and just ask them, take stitches out. They all know how to take stitches out. So I go in there and the doctor sits me down and she looks at the back of my head and she goes, oh my God.

And I was like, excuse me? And she's like, oh no, it's nothing. I just haven't seen stitches like this before. I was like, oh, okay. And then she starts going around back in my head and she goes, oh my God. Again, I'm like, what is that? And she was like, oh no, I'm just confused. And she's like,

And she kept saying, oh my God. And I kept thinking like, is this infected? Do I have like spiders crawling out of it, Hank? Like the oh my God reactions were just insane. I was starting to get worried. And I was thinking, is she actually a doctor? Because she doesn't sound like she's a doctor. So I ended up calling my doctor in Boston. And I was like...

Hey, she's a little confused. She's wondering if maybe these are just absorbable stitches so she doesn't have to take them out. And the guy's like, absolutely not. You need to take them out right now. Oh, shit. And he's trying to walk her through it. He's like, no, it's just one stitch that goes back and forth a few times. And then there's a knot at each end. And she was like, I don't understand what you're saying. She had no idea what my doctor was talking about. You didn't see a doctor. And she kept trying. She was having me reach around the back of my head, holding a flashlight on the back of my head.

And then she would get mad at me when the flashlight drifted a little bit. I was like, I don't know. I can't see the back of my own head. So we do this for another 20 minutes. Then she asked me to call my doctor again because she's still confused. And she's like, yeah, I don't know how to take these out. And eventually my doctor had to be like,

hey pft are you still in the room right now and i'm like yeah i'm on speaker he's like i want to say this is diplomatically and professionally as possible um you might want to consider a different clinician to have this procedure done so after about 45 minutes of of her just like slicing into the back of my head i had to stop her and say okay i think you're uncomfortable with this and that's making me uncomfortable so i'm going to go then she goes out grabs a different doctor to come in she's like wait here just one second the doctor looks at he's like

Yeah, these are just stitches. And she's like, can you take them out? He's like, well, I'm with a patient right now, so I can't really take 10 minutes out. And she's like, maybe on your lunch break you can do it. And this doctor is uncomfortable too. And he's like, yeah, I guess I can do it on my lunch break. And she was like, maybe I could watch so I could learn. And he's like, yeah, maybe. So she's like, okay, just come back in like 45 minutes and we'll take them out. And I was like, okay, bye. I go to the front desk and I say, hey, just –

Tell her I'm not coming back. I'm leaving. And I just got the fuck out of there. Holy shit. And then I ended up actually getting it done here in Chicago once I got back. And it took about seven minutes. Oh, my God. So I don't think the person... I think it was a catch me if you can situation where in her wildest dreams, she's pretending to be an urgent care doctor. Stitches can't be that difficult. They're not. Yeah. They're not. But for a while, they were. So just listen to yourself. If you think, maybe I shouldn't be in this situation...

But then again, she had like all these tools in the back of my head and I didn't want to just stand up and leave. Yeah. That's a hell of a situation. But besides that, doing good. Yeah. I got Jaden. Yeah, you got Jaden. And the stitches are out of your head. Yep. I was actually a seam head for a while. Yeah. My Fyre Fest is quick. It's Derek Rose retired today and that made me feel old and sad again for Derek Rose's career. Yeah. That made me feel old. Yeah. I saw that.

And I thought that Derrick Rose had already retired. Yeah, a lot of people did. Because I think it was one of those rumors that the Dunk Sintel would tweet out once every six months, like, Derrick Rose has retired. Yeah. So I got the exposure to that. So in the back of my head, I thought, like, maybe Derrick Rose has already been retired. But yeah, it doesn't... It's not right. It's not right what happened to Derrick Rose. No, it's the all-time what-if...

But yeah, it was like he was so, so electric before he got injured and then injured again and then injured again. But yeah, it's a what if and it's also a damn, we're getting old. Yeah. Hank, I'm sure you appreciate that. That we're getting old. I don't appreciate that. That means I'm getting old. True. That's how time works. Memes, you got a fire fest for us? My fire fest is if everybody hates the art we just put out in the interview and I order some jet skier to...

My house on Long Island. Oh. That's tough. Wait. Also, you don't want to pay our editor enough money. What? Oh, yeah. Memes is lowballing our editor. Do you see this? No. I saw it, yeah. What? There was a job listing. This went kind of viral. For part of my take, assistant editor. Entry level. And I think the pay was like $65,000 a year. Wait. People were roasting us? Well, one. No. Some guy tried to roast us. He posted the listing, which is just like a regular thing.

entry-level editor position, which, by the way, I think I got paid no money and then $20,000 for like three years. And he goes like $60K for a billion-dollar company as if how much money Barstool makes has anything to do with...

how much an editor should make. Also, Barstool is worth $1. Yeah, and then there's a lot of people being like, ah, this looks like actually pretty good jobless. Yeah, what the fuck? Barstool's worth a dollar. So did he get roasted back? That's how every single corporation in the world works. Because even his friends online were like, that's not a bad salary for an entry-level spot. And also, the value of a company. Somebody made the comparison to like,

You know how much McDonald's pays their employees? Yeah, or... Yeah, like... Walmart. And Usher at Jerry's World. Yeah. Dallas Cowboys employee. Yeah. They get paid what? Yeah. A fucking team worth $10 billion? Yeah, but I think that's... From what I saw, that's a pretty fair... Yeah, it's entry level. It's fair pay, right, for that position? And...

If you do a good job, you get paid more. What's Meme saying? It's kind of how it works. I'm not sure. Pug? Yeah, it's fair. It's fair. Pug. Oh, I mean, you can't disagree with Pug. This fucking guy, Brandon. Fuck you, dude. You're going to go against Pug? Get out of here, dude. Get out of here. Yeah, there it is. Roast him. Love it, Pug. All right, numbers. Max is at another wedding. PFT and memes, have you ever gotten this? No. No.

I did. Numbers. I have Jaden. Five. Wednesday. I've never gotten it. Three. Let's go one. D-Rose. Let's go 20. 99 pug. I have a feeling it's going to be 99. This feels like a pug moment. 77. 77. Love you guys.