The HOV
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I'm about to start this. Let's do it. Craig, you look miserable. You good? Yeah, I'm about to turn it on. Okay. Turn it on, baby. Sorry, your microphone is the most sensitive thing in the entire world. So like your chewing the last 60 seconds was just like so loud. And I was like waiting for it to be over and then I was going to smile.

ASMR just passed on, Craig, before we even started. No, I'm not angry. My face was what my brain was feeling. Okay, fair, fair. Okay. But no, I'm not. I'm excited. Okay, you're right. It is sensitive. Okay. What's up, besties? And welcome to this week's episode of Pillows and Beer. I'm in Charleston, South Carolina, joined with my bestie, Mr. Craig Conover, who is in Atlanta, Georgia.

And Nick Norris is a toss-up of what West Virginian State he lives in. What's going on, guys? I have something fun to share with you kind of right off the bat, but what's going on, guys? Nice. Oh, not much. My mini fridge has frozen all of the beverages in myself.

This is like a, just a solid piece of ice. I like when it's like the Diet Coke this morning was a slushie and I could get around that, but now everything's just ice. I do want to talk about this actually. There's actually a great little like beginning topic point. Craig,

Travels. I mean, it's an interesting way to travel, but it's probably the more like efficient way that I've ever seen someone travel. Because when you get to like a new hotel room, you will door dash things like, you know, candles and, and like, you make it like a homey space. Right. I've never seen anyone do that, but you do it everywhere that you go. And the more that I think about it, the smarter it is.

It's I think it's newer because it's only become available with services like DoorDash and Instacart because you were never, ever going to go grocery shopping or to like CVS. You're staying there. Yeah. But now, like if I pull up, if I open up Instacart, that's funny that you notice it. It's got like my suggested items. And so.

I get like a couple of things that you can't fly with and I make the hotel room a little homey for a night or two. And then I leave it behind for someone. Yeah. And the time that I noticed it was when we did our pillows and beer show in Houston and you left and I stayed it an extra night and I went, so I went to Craig's man bathroom and he had all this stuff that, you know, he had ordered from, uh,

Instacart or DoorDash as well as a bunch of candles. And I was like, "All right, well, I'm going to use these candles." And this is actually kind of smart. So I don't know how long you've been doing that for, Craig, but it is definitely a unique move that I think should be utilized more maybe. Look, hotels, and I know there's a lot of people out there that travel

A lot for like work and stuff like we love this pillows and beer are huge hotel people like we love a good hotel. But if you have too many a week, the pillows start to become wrong. The bed starts to become wrong. And like you have to find your little creature comforts or you will start to lose touch with.

you're like fun like you'll it can turn like i wouldn't say sinister but it just gets taxing i guess it gets more taxing to stay in a hotel the more you do it which isn't rocket science like a week so if you have like a i think a candle is a big one pretty sure they're not allowed in hotels though um that's actually probably true it's actually probably true i didn't even think about that i remember asking for matches one time they're like what do you need matches for and i was like

And then they were like, we've got a lighter though. Do you want to go outside and smoke? And I was like, am I about to like fake smoke this cigarette just so I can like light my candle? And I was like, no, I just need it for something. Yeah. And by the way, matches are used for things other than for lighting cigs. Like,

The fact that they asked, you're like, well, it's kind of personal. Thank you very much. Oh, you mean for like a bathroom? Yeah, for a bathroom. You know, like, like, what if it? Yeah. So them asking you is almost like, I'm sorry, it's none of your business. I'm excited to hear your story. So don't forget it. I'm actually at Chateau Alon, which is about an hour and a half outside of Atlanta with traffic.

Yeah. Outside of Atlanta. Okay. Yeah, I know. I didn't realize. Fuck if I knew Nick. It was, I, okay. So I kind of messed, I rented a car, which cost me an hour. Um, but an hour and a half ride with an Uber. Yeah. Just the Atlanta airport. So big. Like it ended up being an hour and I couldn't dude, I'm like, there's no way I'm getting this old. I couldn't put the car in drive.

It took me at least 10 minutes until I got out of the car and I was going to go ask. And I was like, wait, I'll just Google it. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to put this car in drive. What was the car? It's a Mercedes SUV. It is where the windshield wipers are. Oh, so it was like boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Yep. Small, small little lever behind where the windshield wipers are. Okay.

And when's the last time that you rented a car? I've been doing it a lot recently. Okay. Me and Jack, I'll rent them a lot. That's why I did this. And, oh, shout out to Desire, the girl that works at the rental car desk. I left my phone at the desk.

I have no idea how. And she came running down when I was like leaving like the check in, like where you get the key. And she just had my phone in her hand. And I was like, thank you so much. Like I was like, I can't express how nice and kind that was to you. I was like, I'm hopefully not about to blow your mind. I really hope that you know that her name is Desire and it's not pronounced fucking Desiree.

No, she said desire. Okay. Okay. Cause I was like, they were like spelled the same and it could have been Desiree. And that would be a, such a crack on over thing. No, you're right. I, but I asked her because I almost offered her money and I was like, I don't think I was like, she's just doing it to be nice. Like, I don't think she wants, like, I didn't want to be like insulting. Um,

But I was like, thank God. I was freaking nice to like, just thank God it would have sucked. It would have been so dumb. And I would have been like, how did I just don't leave my phone places. So got lucky hour and a half traffic. I didn't risk it. I don't know if you drive in HOV lanes when it's only one person, but I figured it was going to take longer to deal with being pulled over. I did. I did recently. And I just got a bill sent to me. It was no way. Yeah.

How? They got my license plate and then they sent me a ticket. Well, it wasn't a ticket because it was like eight bucks. Yeah, it's a ticket. But could they tell that you didn't have more than one person in the car? They didn't send me a picture, which would have been awesome because I would have loved to post it right now to you guys. I've been like, look, it's me with a blow-up doll in my passenger seat.

No, they didn't send me video evidence. They're just like, we saw you traveling in the age of Elaine in North Carolina on this date, and here's your charge. And it's like, all right, I'm just going to pay it. I'm just going to fucking pay it. Well, yeah. Also, was it worth the eight bucks? I bet it was.

There's traffic like crazy. And so, yeah, yeah, it was. You're damn right. It was. And I would have paid. Yeah. I was thinking about it last night if they had a tiered traffic thing where it's like you could go in that lane for five bucks, that lane for 10 bucks, that lane for 20 bucks.

Craig would hit the 20-buck lane every time. Do you guys not have an easy pass down there? He's like, where's the $1,000 lane? So in Georgia... Yeah, I know. I was like, how much money would this take? And then they'd be like, we didn't know. So they have an express lane that the HOV turns into, but you have to have the peach pass or something. And...

At about a half mile until the entrance to the expressway, I did it. I got in the HOV lane. My GPS went down by 15 minutes by just using it for like a half mile. I'm not entirely sure that I was supposed to be in the express lane, but it's okay. I was here for...

Drive for Hope, which is a charity event that Forward Drive does for Hope for the Warriors. Incredible company, incredible new CEO. And so I was down here for that. But anyway, I drove it. And now, even though my flight's not till 11 tomorrow, I think I have to leave at like 7.15 in the morning because of the way that I have to drop the car off and everything. You might have to leave earlier than that, Craig.

Now, I'm going to get – it's an hour and a half. Yeah. That Atlanta traffic though. Dude, with morning traffic? Like people getting to work at 9 a.m.? Well, right now it says it would take me 54 minutes. I have a question. 30 minutes. I have a question. I'd add an hour. Nick, man, this is like a good question for us to ask our messies. Now –

There are like, what do you think if you look over, right? You're sitting in traffic, right? And it's just you. It's just you. And you're like a law abiding citizen and you're in traffic and you look over and you see someone zooming past you with just one person in their car in the HOB lane. You're like, fuck. When I worked in DC, it's just like, I saw it all the time. I'm just like, I can't wait for that prick to get pulled over.

Those tickets are hefty on 60 Shots of Puna. I've been there and Craig is saying that he was just there. It's kind of like when someone tries to get past you on the shoulder and you take it upon yourself to pull over a bit so that they can't drive past you on the shoulder. You're like, I got you, motherfucker. See, my reaction would be

Good for you. Only because him breaking the law in that instance has no bearing on my life. The shoulder thing does. The shoulder thing slows down everything and messes with everyone. Right, because then they have to get over and merge. Well, no, because if he gets pulled over in the HOV lane, it's the same thing. It's going to block up the HOV side, and then they start to merge over. But that's on the cops.

That's on the cop. Well, then it's just anarchy in the freaking highway. That's on the cop. Well, because if it's only one person, it doesn't mess it up. But yes, you're right. If they don't enforce it, then it's a whole thing. I still don't know when it happens. Have you ever seen somebody get pulled over in the HIV lane ever? Yeah. I've been had. But I got lucky because it was 635 and it ended at 630 and the cop must have not been looking at his clock. And he's just like, oh, you can go.

It's because you were running moonshine, Nick. He was like, oh, we got another moonshine runner. And you were like, when it says two plus, does that mean you need two people in your car or more than two people? Two people. You need one or more. No, no, no. Two or more. Excuse me. Two or more. Yeah. Sorry. More than. Yeah.

What do you mean? It says two plus. Why the hell would you need one or more? A lot of the easy passes, if you have three or more, you can get a special, like, fob, and it'll let you do it for, like, free if you get, like, three people in it. All right, besties. Are you with Craig or for Craig on using the HOV lane when... I only did it for a half mile.

Craig, you still did it. But then I panicked. So I did it for a half mile. And then when it said, okay, entrance to expressway here, I got back into the regular lane. And then I was like, what the hell are you doing, dude? It's just worth it at this point. Just go. And you did it for a half mile and then you pop back in. And no, but then I went right back in.

Like, I popped back into the regular traffic, and then I was like, this is stupid, because it was standstill, and I got into the express lane. But, yeah, Atlanta, Chateau Alon, it's a winery. It's actually, they filmed Ozarks here. Oh, really? Yeah. They didn't film Ozarks in the fucking Ozarks. Nope. I was very, they filmed a lake around here, and I was like, you gotta be kidding me.

I definitely thought it was a must. Another one bites the dust, Craig. You know, just like Outer Banks. You're like, oh, cool, man, Outer Banks. Charles. I know they use the winery here and the lake a little bit, but Nick, see if it was filmed in the Ozarks at all. Most of the shooting is done and near Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah. Because of the filmmaker tax breaks and everything. Atlanta's got all the tax breaks for films. I'm in a town called...

Like, Brasserie? I'm near Gainesville, but I'm in a town called Brazelton. Played awful today, Austin, and it, like, mattered. I, like, needed to, like, impress some people. It's the worst I've played in fucking years. What was the format? A scramble. I couldn't get my shit together, man. I still don't know how to play, but it sucked. What? It sucked when, like, you want...

to play well. And you're like, I don't need to like break 80 here, but I need to like do something. And then you just play like ass. And you're like, why don't I even play this stupid fucking, I couldn't make contact with the ball. And I was like, and last night they kept asking me, are you good? Are you good? And I was like,

sometimes, you know, I played it off. I made sure to not say I was good. I was like, you know, sometimes or good enough, you know, I'm serviceable. I'm serviceable to play. I was like, I'm all right. I'm okay. And then I was like, there's no way this is happening. The third hole. So we started on a part three, went to a part four and then had another part three and all of us just got in our heads. Like we couldn't. And then finally started to turn it on. But last night,

And it was like a fundraising event. I was good at pool. So that made me feel good. That was good at pool. You can impress people. You can shark in people. Yeah. You can shark in people with your pool game. I hadn't played in a long time. I hadn't played in... Well, I lost, but I was really good. All right. Well, we're going to take a...

Quick break, and then we're going to hear all about Austin's story. Then he wants to tell us. Sorry for dropping the bottle cap over and over because I'm fidgety. The Emirates NBA Cup is here. You can win big getting in on the action at DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. All 30 teams split into six groups every Tuesday and Friday playing for the right to advance in the single elimination in-season tourney.

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21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash ftball. Welcome back to Pillars and Beer, besties. I'm Greg Conover.

Joined by Austin Kroll, the original bestie, and Nick Norris, our producer. Check out our Instagram page, Pillows and Beer. We're coming to Toronto, guys. Toronto, December 2nd. A live show. Travel in. See us. It's going to be a lot of fun. The last one in 2024.

or hey you hey you's doing it they're presenting this for everyone so it's gonna be a lot of fun but couple meet and greet tickets left big huggers and we say hi and take a photo and um we might sign an arm we might sign our arm i might sign her forehead if she asked me okay yeah and that's gonna happen um so check us out and then southern charms coming out december 5th uh 4th

Fifth. Thanks, Nick. We'll take it from here. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'm the one who has the dates. Oh, that's right. I was thinking we're – I think December 2nd was Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's Thursday, the fifth. And yeah, I guess it's really interesting, Craig, right? Because our trailer's dropped. You see a whole bunch of things that are going to happen throughout the season. Craig and I have a live show three days before it airs.

I would venture to say that this is going to be one of the more fun live shows because like there's going to be so much to talk about, like so much to preview our upcoming season. So it should be a lot of fun. It should be a lot of fun. I hope that we have a couple of, we haven't figured out our show yet, but we will. And I'm sure we're going to add a lot of fun stuff to it that a lot of you guys will love to see. Oh, it's going to be really cool. Our first show out of the country, Craig.

That's true. We're going international. Pillows and beer live. Going international. Pillows and beer. Damn. All right. What's your story? Well, now I kind of like being your HOV story because it turned into like a whole thing. But prior to my story and still talk about your story. So prior to recording tonight, I did a run club. Okay. I did a Charleston run club.

And I'd been seeing run clubs pop up all over the place, right? I'm seeing people post about it. I'm seeing it on TikTok. I'm seeing, you know, run clubs are a thing. And basically they're like a giant social club, right? If you're new to like a city or, you know, you're trying to meet friends or, you know, people, if you're single, like,

Run clubs are seemingly the thing to do because what you do is you meet up. If you're single, you join a run club. That's the new thing. If you want to meet someone, they're the new mute cute. And I'm with you. It is. It is. It's like – I can't talk when I'm running. I like the people that run next to each other and talk. Thank you, Nick. Thank you, Nick. So as I was saying, so basically what you do is you meet up and it's this whole like –

Group. Yeah. So when I showed up because Trop Hop was sponsoring this one, because we ended up at a bar, we ended up at the Blind Tiger tonight, Craig and Trop Hop was, you know, flowing and my new beer, peachy wheat was like, you know, the main thing on display. And so I, okay. So I show up to run club.

100 plus people, Craig. 100 plus people. Yes. 100 plus people. And I'm looking around and they're all like 25 to like low 30s. I was probably the oldest person there. And

I was like, I get it. I get it. Because as Nick said, you run a short amount of distance. It's like three miles. You run like three miles. Three miles isn't short. It's a 5K. I fucking know because I did not run the full three miles. Like, I'm just going to like admit, I took a shortcut to get to the bar because I was like, I'm getting to the bar and I'm not doing this whole damn three miles. That's like, I ran out of a movie. Yeah. I ran like two.

So I was like, wait a minute, this is kind of genius. Right. So there's kind of like a nervous, you know, little chatter going on here beforehand. And I had to get up and say something, Craig, I had to get up. Right. So the person who started it is Bradley Carter from Southern hospitality and Bradley's the man. And he was like, Hey dude, like, it'd be cool if you wanted to do something like this. And I was like, actually, man, that'd be like a lot of fun. Thanks for, thanks for, I had no idea you guys know each other. Yeah. Yeah.

That's great. Kind of recently. I mean, kind of recently. Oh, because you were filming a lot on Southern Hospitality. I filmed on Southern Hospitality. Didn't film a lot, Craig. Yeah, thank you. And so they got up first and said something. And...

I was like, oh shit, I'm kind of nervous. Craig, I was kind of nervous to like get up and say something. Cause like, yeah, man, we do shows and like watch what happens live and all this stuff. And it doesn't like affect me whatsoever. And I don't know why, but I was kind of nervous. I was like, well, this isn't like my club, you know? Because live audience is tough. I would rather be on camera than live.

Like we've talked about this, like cameras were okay. But the live audience thing, like no matter what I do, I get nervous. Like even these like home shows and stuff, I get nervous before I go on stage, no matter what, every single time. No matter what. That's very true. Like we'll be sitting there and it's like, okay, all right. I've done this before. You've done this before. I mean, you're fine. You want everyone to have fun too though. Like you're like, well, I hope I don't disappoint everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

And this was one of those things where I was like, great. Like, I'm going to get up there and be like, Hey everyone, drink drop hop. And, and, and I was like, I don't know. I, I, I just got weird, you know, with it, but I did it. And I was like, and then you got weird with it or it was like, what happens where it was just like, all of a sudden it took a turn and you were like, cool. I don't know how we ended up here, but we're here. Well,

At first, I was weird about like getting up there and having to say something like in front of, you know, this whole crew because, you know, they were all there to run and might not have even known that, you know, my beer company was like a sponsor for it, you know, in a quote unquote sponsor.

uh you know for it that night and so i just kind of got up there and said a couple things like all right i'll see you all at the finish line and you get to the finish line you get to the bar there's like it it was like wall-to-wall packed craig i was like holy shit you know this this thing is a a whole thing and uh you know it thins out quick right because people are there to hang out for yes it thins out real quick yeah

Yeah, I was like dumping sweat and I ran a mile less than everyone else. And I'd gone to Swolee earlier today and I was like, man, like a run will be nice. And it kicked my ass. My legs are kind of sore and you guys can make fun of me because I only ran two miles and I'm still like, I'm sore. But run clubs, if you guys are members of run clubs, I'm interested to hear because Greg, this...

I don't want to call out people, but you know, I was trying to meet as many people as possible. Right. And especially prior to running, people have like a nervous chatter. And so this one guy was like, oh, cool, man. Like you make beer. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, Hey man, what's that process like? And so I kind of went through it.

And then there was like a lull. And then he was like, what else do you do for fun? I was like, dude, this is not like a speed dating app. Like we're not, I'm not going to sit here and tell you what else that, that I do for fun. Um, but good luck out there. I know that. I know that Nick, but, but I, I don't know what to say. I wasn't, um, I wasn't trying to speed date.

I wasn't trying to speed date, you know, I was like, okay, get a really wide array of an impression on me and just come back. Craig, Craig, what would you even say to somebody who was like, Hey man, what do you do for fun? Like, I didn't know what to say. I was like,

That is such a strange question to ask me. No, I mean, did it seem like these were people that were like really putting themselves out there? Cause they probably like, they were like, no, no, dude, friends with people, dude, this guy, a couple people were like, generally, genuinely like, what's up? My name should have been like, not fucking run. I'll tell you that much.

I get up there. I'm like, Hey, this whole thing's a sham. It's a conspiracy. Running's not real. Uber straight to the bar next time. If you'd like burning calories, isn't real. It's all a fucking sham drink drop off. It it's, it's not going to make you fat. It was no 37. When someone says to you, what do you do for fun? I was like, I only lots of things. Get away from me, dude. I don't,

we're gonna lay on my couch yeah man laying on my couch is one of my absolute favorite things to do yeah and it's great it's where you recharge i had so i went from omaha on friday omaha on saturday 4 a.m flew to the store in charleston did a mean greet and then three hours later did a private event for compass realty at the i saw her for a college friend jeff polishak which i we had never done before it was great did like

you know, fireside chat. When we say fireside chat, we just mean you're being interviewed by someone in front of everyone for everyone listening.

And, you know, half the people didn't know, maybe more than half the people didn't know who I was. And that's great. Like, but they enjoyed the talk and we had a bar set up and everything. And so people were doing pictures, but at the end, this lady was so nice, but she was like, I have no idea who you are, you know, in the nice way. But she was like, I enjoyed what you said. Thanks for the advice. Can we take a picture? And we took a picture and I'm like crashing. Like this is the, this is the fifth meet and greet in four days. And I was like,

And she was like, so like, how did you end up on the show? Like, what's that even look like? Like, what's your story or whatever? And like, it's a long answer. I usually have no problem giving that answer, but I was too tired. And I was like, I had to give like the short version, but she's just like,

Sometimes it's nice that people know your story. It's kind of funny because you're like, you know what? It comes in handy. You know a lot about me already. But anyway, it was so sweet. But she was like, so how do you even end up on a reality show? And I was like, God, I do have an answer for this and I don't mind sharing it, but I feel like I'm going to fall over. I'm so tired. Right. It's like nine times out of 10, you're down. You're like, yeah, oh my God, I'll tell you exactly how. Yeah.

And then, you know, they might catch you just at the tail end of something. And you're like, you know, I was in the right place at the right time. Right. And it's like, that's, that's like all, all, all I got to say, or maybe in the wrong place that the wrong time, you know, whatever, whatever.

you know, however that you want to look at it. But that's kind of what happened to me tonight too, Craig, where I was like, okay, I'm not going to like assume that anybody at this run club, you know, knows me. I was like, Hey guys, you know, for those that don't know me, my name's Austin and I have a beer company called drop hop and my beers here. And, and, you know, I'm not gonna like assume that these people know. And, and, and, and I think that that's where, you know, you fuck up as people being like, wait, sorry, like, am I supposed to know you?

i was like no man not at all i you're not supposed to know me at all i just i just want you to know what i do for fun yet yeah how are you supposed to know me when you don't even know that i like to ask my buddy i like to podcast and kayak on the weekends what's making me miss my kitty um wait so oh no well charleston and guys charleston i would say if you live in charleston

We all know each other there. It has nothing to do with TV. That's what's funny. That's why we have a TV show. Everyone knows everyone in Charleston. It feels that way more and more. And that's why it made me more and more nervous. I think Craig's I was like, Oh man, I was like, I don't even know who's out there. Who's looking at me right now. I was like, ah, I can't do this. It was. Yeah. All right. We're going to take it on cameras better.

Another quick break to thank our sponsors. While Nick gets some serious loving from one of his seven cats, we'll be right back. Welcome back to this episode of Pillows and Beer as Nick strokes his in front of us. And what a beautiful it is, Nick. People listen to this, but they're kids in the car. It is a beautiful feline, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nick, what was that cat's name? Marv.

Marv from Home Alone? Yep. I follow Marv on Instagram. Marv is like a painter and a sculptor. I do too now because of you. Really? Yeah. It's actually kind of cool. I love how he transformed his career into just like he built a farm or he lives on a farm and he just makes sculptures and paints and does all sorts of weird shit. He's beautifully weird. That's how this... It's kind of like you, Craig. Yeah.

It's kind of like you. If you weren't on the show and all that stuff and Craig's like, and I'm gardening and I have a beehive and I'm doing this and I also make ceramic pots and I bake and I make soups. The running thing is funny. That's pretty good. By the way, hopefully opening soon in December. Keep your eyes and ears out for that. I know a lot of people...

are funny, but also, guys, keep your head on a motherfucking swivel because we still got 20 monkeys loose. It's New Year's. It's in Beaufort, right? Monkeys are very traverse animals. They can travel far. They're coming to Craig. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure because I looked it up. I think it's like 25 monkeys, but Craig has five of them. So now he's just like trying to get it out there that there are only 20 left. Definitely not me. And he's like, no, no, no, it's not me. It's not me. They're only 20. I promise. And he has like five in his garage that he's like teaching how to do shit. I mean, I'm a thousand percent rooting for the monkeys. I saw one video and they were like working as teams through the woods, like four of them. And I was like, this is amazing. Okay. So for those that don't know.

45 monkeys escaped from a research facility in South Carolina. And Nick says Beaufort, but it's kind of been like a running joke here in South Carolina that these monkeys like might pop up in your backyard or in your home. People are like, lock your doors. So we're kind of waiting for the five monkeys that Craig doesn't have to make an appearance.

so they've had some like like break-ins i think some people reported like their houses like their kitchens torn apart i mean this is like an actual episode of or like an actual like jumanji thing happening they just like show up in your house and they like throw plates in the air and shoot them with shotguns yeah planet of the yeah shoot they grab your guns they grab your guns i so

I will come back to this after, but I had an experience that makes doing TV the last 12 years worth it, pretty much. I had a behind-the-scenes experience at the Omaha Zoo, which I want to tell you about after this. But the zookeeper, we went and saw the gorillas, and she's like, this is one animal I would not work with. A gorilla. And I was like, really? Why? And she was like, because they're just too smart. Like, they're too smart.

I was at the Mexico City Zoo and I took a wee bit of mushrooms and went to the monkey enclosure and there was a monkey.

wiping his ass on the glass right in front of us. And it was like, he knew exactly what he was doing. It was like a middle finger right in, in our face. I was like, this monkey is vile and he knows exactly what he's doing. And it was borderline comical slash disgusting. So yeah, these monkeys is these monkeys are smart.

and i'm also really turn around and flick you off basically i i mean like he was flinging poo is basically what he was doing yeah so you're rooting for him like who's actually rooting that they get captured well i mean literally the headline is is that they escaped from like a research facility so what sort of research is it i don't want to know but definitely get smarter um

Yeah, guys, I have wanted to, so I got an Instagram message from our dear friend, Annabelle. Shout out to you, Annabelle. Look, I'm on the flight to Omaha. I see like, would you want to, would you want to dot, dot, dot or whatever? So I clicked on the message and it was like, would you want to, or it said, would you want to visit dot, dot, dot just because of Instagram. And it was like, would you want to visit the zoo? Like we have like one of the, I guess the biggest zoo in the country. Um,

which by the way when we were there they were like we have every animal and i was like do you have panda bears and they're like no we don't actually have panda bears and i was like that sounds very convenient like very convenient that you have every animal you just don't have panda bears um they don't have polar bears but anyway they're very rare craig they're very rare they're only in a certain amount of zoos anyways i did wear my panda bear hat to the zoo by like selling down south panda bear oh oh so you went to the zoo yeah

Yeah, dude. So Annabelle gave us, they do like a behind the scenes. She basically was like, would you want to do a behind the scenes tour of the zoo? I can set it up for you. And I was like, yeah, just me and my assistant, Jack, like,

she was like okay meet me in front of the education center right before 10 a.m we get to the zoo there's a line out the wazoo like this zoo is like a theme park it was really cool um and they're really proud of their zoo so she's like all right we're gonna go see the penguins first and i'm like okay cool thinking like they're gonna bring like a penguin to me austin

They opened this door and you know, like the penguin exhibit when you're like walking through and you're in front of the glass and you can see all the penguins. They took me in there.

So like all the people are on the other side of the glass being like, like some were like, Hey Craig, what are you doing? I'm just standing in a field of penguins and they're all coming up to me and like pecking my fingers and stuff. And so I, I like spent like 15 minutes just petting different types of penguins and letting them show my, they're all pecking my fingers and stuff. So naturally I punched this penguin in the face.

it was pissing me i was like a video getting attacked by a penguin i've wanted to do something like this for at least the last 20 years of my life like i wanted to do a behind the scenes thing at the zoo i love zoos page and i go to the zoos whenever we're in town with one we just went to the central park zoo um did you get footage

Yeah, yeah. Jack was there. Good. I'll send you some pictures. Yes. So we're just standing under the snow machine with these penguins, and they're really inquisitive, and they're really soft. Like, I didn't think they would feel like that. They're like little wet, soft, squishy animals. And then they'll just, like, throw their head back and, like, yell. Like, it's pretty funny. So we did that. Then we...

Went and played with the sea lions. And by play, I watched some master trainers tell his sea lion, like the sea lion did like 15 tricks for us and had a huge personality. He was like a giant lush. What's a trick?

All of them. I mean, he can move every part of his body. He could dance. He could wave. He could roar. They sound legitimately sound like lions. He could jump in the water and do shark fin where he put one fin up. I was like, how did you teach him that? Cause they can't get in the water with them. So like, how did you get them to roll over on his side in the water? It's a good question. How do you train a sea lion?

Then we went and fed, yeah, no, the sea lion. And they're big animals. We fed ostriches, which was very intimidating. Those things are like dinosaurs. Then we fed giraffes. The giraffes were really pretty. They had like seven giraffes. When was this? This weekend, right before I came back for that event at the store. Nice. Nice.

Yeah. I love Zeus. I love Zeus too. I do. There was parents that were like talking to him, but I don't know. They have a good life, right? Just say yes. Yeah. And a lot of them are like hurt or found at like traffickers houses or like brought in or whatever. The talking parents, like we talked to some parents. That was pretty neat. Yeah.

I forget the one said something. The way you just said that, it was like you were absolutely convinced that you were. Yeah. And then we talked to some parrots and then that was pretty neat. We were friends and then we chatted and we hung out. It was a real conversation. It was like we solved the world's problems. It was actually pretty cool. His name's Pete. Yeah, they told me they've got it all figured out. Some birds can live to like 75, 80 years old.

A parrot? Yeah. Damn. Something that I did not know. Nick is pulling out his Google. Of course he is. Of course he's a little nerd. Trying to fact check, Craig. Fact check him, Nick. Okay, what animals would you want to go behind the scenes with? For me, it would be because, like I said, my great-grandfather was the head zookeeper of the National Zoo. So probably gorillas or elephants. What?

yeah they had some baby elephants playing it was pretty neat but i wasn't anywhere near them the gorilla i would go elephants or gorillas he used to get his ribs broken by the gorillas yeah i don't know really dude a gorilla could like he'd come home and my great-grandmother would have to pull like teeth out of his arm from like snakes biting him like that jesus you used to go on safari in africa

Yeah, so Gorilla wouldn't be on my list. Well, bring your grandfather on the podcast. Great grandfather. Unfortunately, he's been dead. Well, that sucks. I think he lived a pretty good life. The funny thing is he went from the slaughterhouse. He went from working in the slaughterhouses to being the head zookeeper. Nice. I think the pandas are like – I mean at least the videos that I see online –

Of course, the people that are in the panda suits, they look like really dumb and like really cuddly and really funny. They like to like, you know, roll around and they get like stuck in things. And I like want to hang out with the panda. No pandas. You're going to go to the zoo to hang out with a bunch of people. A bunch of furries. A bunch of freaks in fucking panda suits.

So if you're in Omaha, though, like check out their zoo. They did such a nice job. Even like we did, we walked the zoo like regular people too. And it was really cool. Highly recommend. Go to the Omaha Zoo, people. Craig's all about the Omaha Zoo. Yeah. And if you got a zoo that you want to show me, I'll be there.

This is hilarious. Craig, what have you just started like touring zoos across America? Because people are like, Craig, Craig, man, kind of my little town zoo. I would freaking love that. I went one time when I went to the San Diego Zoo. Yeah, San Diego Zoo rocks, by the way. I watched, I went there by myself. I watched this show that's about that zoo. And so I knew a lot of the animals' names.

It doesn't surprise me. It doesn't surprise me. But like, if you go to enough zoos, Craig, I bet that you will happen upon a zoo that has people in costumes. What? I said, I bet that you would eventually happen upon a zoo where people are in costumes.

I thought you said I would eventually end up in a zoo. No, you would happen upon a zoo where they're like, well, we don't have this animal, but we hire Rick on the weekends to moonlight as an ostrich.

Oh, God. Okay. All right. I'm over the zoo talk, but I love that you had a wonderful time at the Omaha Zoo. I didn't know that you went to the Mexico City Zoo. Yeah, it was sweet. It was really sweet. It was like the Central Park Zoo, but it was in Chapultepec. Did you see any new animals? No. It was like African safari. There was an aquarium, which we didn't go to.

And the African safari was my favorite because it was like zebras and elephants and giraffes and wildebeests and all sorts of creatures that you would experience in Africa. Oh, and they had pandas at the Mexico City Zoo. Did you see them? Oh, yeah. Why didn't you send me a picture? One of them was just sitting there. Because it – well, wait. I did, I think, Craig. I did. Did you? Yeah.

And it was just sitting there while we were all were just like staring at it. And it was just eating.

fucking man bamboo for like 20 minutes, like not giving a shit. Like it was like spread Eagle. It didn't give a shit that we were all just, you know, watching it. And it was just eating fricking bamboo as if there was no tomorrow, just chomping away. It was too funny. I was just laughing. I was like, this Panda don't give a shit. This Panda don't give a shit about anything, but more bamboo in its life. Yeah.

It was hilarious. It was hilarious. I don't care about any of you stupid people. I'm the smart one because I'm eating bamboo. Are you eating bamboo? No, but I am. I like when you find out animals you didn't know existed. I just sent one in the chat. There was a monkey. There was long black and white hair. It was strange looking. I saw that animal.

Anyway, we're going to do one more break and then we're going to answer a question or two since we did such a phenomenal job last week. All right, let's do that. Welcome back to Pillows and Beer. I'm Craig Conover joined with Austin, Cole, and Nick Norris. Toronto live show, December 2nd. Last one in 2024, Pillows and Beer live goes international.

And then check out our Instagrams for everything that we're doing. Our holiday collection's out at Sewing Down South. It's awesome. I think it's incredible, maybe. Maybe even fantastic. We do have a fall decor, but also let's decorate for Christmas and Hanukkah and whatever you celebrate. Or winter. Decorate for winter right now. And then do it with some peach beer.

Wait, that was actually fantastic. Did you say it's a really great, you know, collection? Actually, it might be fantastic. Did you say that? I just like envision you try to see or something where you're like, it's a really good collection. Actually, it's fantastic. Yeah, I might dare to say fantastic. That's, that's awesome. That's awesome. I picked your didn't I pick your beer? I mean, not actually this time. But did I pick the right flavor? Or I picked the second one? No, you picked the second one.

I appreciate it though, because it means that your palate is changing. It means your palate is picking up better beers. The one that won the popular vote is not the one that you picked, but that's okay. But your peach beer is great. And where can people get that? Yeah. Well, peach, peachy wheat is going to be available on chop hop beer.com and let's see, Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Florida,

across our footprint i'm very excited for that um finally a new flavor that i'm obsessed with is hitting the shelves yeah yeah man really i'm doing my first uh sprint event at bottles oh really craig welcome to the grind man because the amount of those events and things that i have to do

I actually have one this Friday, this Friday, not at bottles, but at a total wine. And that's amazing. Okay. So what are you, you looking forward to it? Are you kind of nervous about it? What's the temperature?

No, I mean, I feel like, isn't it similar to what I do at the store or no? Yeah. Yeah. But you know, the store is like a controlled environment, not the bottles. You know, I mean, the bottles isn't right. It's not like, no, look, I don't know what I'm doing. I just know the drink tastes really good. And I like,

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So basically what happens is that there are like, you know, thimbles out. Right. And like you pour like a little sample and then they're like, Oh, well, you know, what is it? And you're like, Oh yeah, it's a, Oh, that's what I'm doing. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. Like a samples table. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, sampling people. Yeah. Yeah. And, and like, you know, like,

Normal people, I hate to say this, it makes me sound like a douche, but normal people that aren't on television shows, Craig, they do this on Fridays or whatever and people come up and they're shopping for the weekend.

And you're like, hey, why don't you taste this grapefruit flavored beer? And they're like, okay, cool. And like, oh man, that's really good. Thanks man for letting me taste it. And then they put a six pack in their cart and keep it moving. So that's what you're trying to do.

Because you're trying to get them to put a six pack or four pack of spritz in their cart for the weekend. After they try it. Yeah. Oh, okay. I like that. I've never done anything like that. I'm excited. And so, you know, people are going to come because you post about it, but then some people will be just walking by kind of shopping. And then you're like, hey, do you want to taste this? They're like, yeah, sure, man. Why not? And then they might be like, oh, I really like it.

I'm such a bad salesman. I'll be like, no, but don't feel like you have to. You know what? Take it out of your cart. I'll buy it for you. You know what? I will buy it for you. I apologize. Craig, dude, I... Dude, I...

me too the worst salesman when i finished my pitch tonight brad had had to jump back up there and be like hey guys it's really good what austin didn't tell you is that it's a delicious beer and you're gonna love it and then when we got to the bar i bought the first 30 beers so i definitely didn't make a single cent because i bought like 30 beers on the credit card and i was like hey guys man first you know 30 beers on me so i i yeah but that's good did they get drank

Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's awesome. And then they'll have like a second because you believe in your product. That's what, yeah, that's what Ben will be there. I think Ben's a salesman. He just strikes me as a salesman. Ben grinds and he knows the beverage industry. Let's just say that. And then we're having a party at Uptown on Friday. I'm doing back to back. Oh, yeah.

the 22nd oh right right that's why keith asked us if we could golf but but no you have bottles in the day and uptown at night how do you feel about the uptown event craig i i mean i'm ex like it's i like the diversity and events i'm excited because like just like you know and we've talked about it before

It's a product that I like and I believe in. And like, when I get this, when I see the guys on the golf carts drink more than one, I'm like, all right, like, yes, I'm actually, cause I can't sell something unless I believe in it as in, I would feel too guilty. So like, if I actually think you're going to enjoy this, I'll be like, no, trust me. Like, like,

You feel like you're helping each other out. It's mutually beneficial. And then they're like, holy shit, we really like this. Yeah. Like you do with your beer. You're like, no, like I'm going to change your life with this beer. And they're like, oh, thanks, man. That was really kind of you. When someone drinks more than one, you're like, oh, wait a minute. Like you're drinking another one because you like it or because I'm here. And they're like, I'm drinking one with or without you here. You're like, yes. It's a good feeling. It's a good feeling for sure. All right, man. You want to do a question or two or.

I didn't know the Mike Tyson, Logan Paul fight, if that's his name, was this weekend. I think it's Jake Paul. Jake Paul, sorry. It already happened? No, it's Friday night. Nick said, how rigged do you think it would be? Very interesting question that you would say that. All of Jake Paul's fights have been rigged, except the real ones that he's lost. Except the celebrity ones have all just been rigged. Because he wins them all.

And you just don't have any faith in his talent? No, because he loses. He's lost to like, you know, like the like a single A version of a boxer in a real fight. And all he fights all these like former wrestlers, UFC guys, blah, blah, blah. And he somehow wins them all. And it's just so clear. These guys, you know, these guys that he's fighting are all making 50 million dollars. Now, yeah, whatever. I'll lose.

And they're all like half his size too. He's not fighting anybody. Like if this was Tyson. $50 million. That's what they make from a fight. Oh, I guarantee you he'll make. I guarantee you Jake will make a hundred bucks. This Jake Paul guy has been making stupid money. Every single fight, man, that he's doing is like a $50 million fight. Yeah. Holy crap. Yeah, dude. And he's fought like fucking eight of them.

Good for him. And he hasn't lost. He hasn't lost. And like, I think that what it is, is that he is playing such a good role of like, you know, hyping up the fight because I feel like everyone that he fights, I'm rooting for the other guy to win. I'm like, someone just knock this motherfucker out. Right. You're like paying to watch him get beat up. And he doesn't, you know, and, uh, and now he's fighting iron Mike and,

who is way past his prime, but it's a big name. So people are paying and people are interested. And it just bumps me out because I'm like, come on, Mike, all you need is one of these fucking punches to squarely just bust this dude up. Here's the answer. If Mike Tyson wins, it's not fixed. If he wins, it is fixed. I just don't see Tyson fixing a fight.

Yeah, he's making $40 million for the fight. Jake Paul is for the Tyson fight. Mike Tyson said he's a manufactured killer. The difference between him and like TV, Instagram made him a killer. I'm a natural born killer. I mean, yeah, but he's also like 60 years old or whatever. So you have an old man strength.

Dude, it's Mike Tyson. I agree, but Tyson's always longevity. If Jake Paul can just do the Floyd Money Merriweather and just hide from him the entire fight, he's going to win. Yeah, but Merriweather didn't win that fight. It was bullshit. Or did he? Wait, whoever lost should have won.

Yeah, Mayweather won that fight. Welcome to organized fighting, Craig. Yeah, whoever lost should have won. Because of the stupid judges. What are the DraftKings odds on this fight? Let's go to the DraftKings odds. Jake Paul. Because I would take – I'm taking Tyson. Over four rounds is what I would say. Jake Paul is favored. Are you kidding me? I would hammer Mike Tyson.

Jake Paul is minus 210, Tyson's plus 170. This is not advice. Total rounds over five and a half. I don't think they go over five and a half. Logan Paul by decisions, 280. Jake Paul. Well, he's not going to knock out Mike Tyson. No, I don't think Tyson gets knocked out. The only way Tyson goes down is if his injury acts up and he just basically is like, oh.

and like well that's a t that's so ko tko or dq i am mike tyson by decision i i hope mike tyson just lands that one punch and just knocks him right the f out just hits him right on the button don't we fucking all nick that'd be awesome no we don't all because there's way too many incels on the internet that love jake paul and or the paul brothers incels

In cells. Do you know what in cell means? Yeah. I think it means terrorist. No, it means it means like a fairly fucking celibate is literally what it means. No, the new origin, the new term is it's pretty much internet troll, like internet troll men that blame, you know, women for not being able to get laid and everything, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's an incel. So involuntarily celibate, which means it means you can't get laid. You're like, oh, you incel pussy. Like what? Okay. Speaking of them trying to figure out the proper way to spend. Speaking of them.

Okay, go Craig. Trying to figure out the proper way to spend with my girlfriend's family. She invited them into town, but she now has to go to a friend's and help her with some wedding stuff, which leaves me, which leaves my Oma, which, come on, Nick, which leaves me. I didn't write this. I just copy and paste.

which leaves me with almost a whole afternoon to spend with her family, who I have never met before, except over FaceTime. What would you do? It will be me, her parents, her younger sister, who is 20. We have met. I live in Annapolis, but do not know if that helps at all. They get her on the 11th, so hopefully you see – oh, they get here on the 11th, so hopefully you see this. Oh, shit, Craig. First, I would learn to spell –

Be nice. Just kidding. Oh, well, if they're already there, then it doesn't matter. Okay. I'm guessing it's probably holiday, so it's probably December. We should answer this as if they haven't. I would say don't be weird, dude. I would say just be charming as shit. Just be you and be...

I would take him to downtown Annapolis. That's so easy. Just take him to downtown Annapolis and do the water walk or whatever. Take him to some crabs for lunch. That would be fantastic. You got to get out of the house though. You just say, hey guys, let's go down. Let's go to Annapolis 12 o'clock.

And so you don't have to hang with them during breakfast. You can go in and out of the kitchen as you please, because everyone's technically getting ready to go to lunch. So you can like, you know, go eat in your room if you want to be like, you know, get some private time, shower, and then you drive them to Annapolis and you just shop around and then you have lunch together and it's not weird. And then you go back to the house and you meet your girlfriend. That's what I would do. I think A, you've met them over FaceTime.

I think that...

I think you talk about how wonderful that, you know, their daughter is and why she's wonderful to you and why you, well, that would be weird. You're going to sit in the kitchen and tell them how nice their fam, their daughter is. No, Craig, you sprinkle it in there while you do activities and things like that. And you tell them, you know, when the mother would eat, what like would eat that up, eats it up, eats it up. They're like, Oh my God, thank you for saying that about me and my daughter. Like, all right, let's go.

yeah man you know me craig i'm taking them to eat and drink yeah like a brewery that'd be fun oh yeah like a crab like a crab i mean it's annapolis like that's why i keep on saying crap like but yeah like a brewery would be great brewery would would be great um younger sister's 20 though hey never mind i can't say that yeah you can't just say slipper or beer yeah

There you go. And then you're winning. And then you're winning hard. The sister's like, oh, Brian's cool as shit. And he was slipping me beers at the brewery. Someone's screaming in the hallway. What? What did you say? Someone's screaming in the hallway. And there were fireworks outside. I hope there were fireworks. I'm not making that up. That legitimately just happened. Okay. I know. Hold on. I'm trying to find one, Craig.

Trying to find one here. I mean, I'd see one that would be funny to answer, but you can. Okay, go. It's just, we can be competitive. Who do you think survives the longest out of us? Me, Nick and Austin in the wilderness. If your plane goes down. Okay. I do. Yeah. Unfortunately, I think that Nick survives the longest. Nick is great. No, I mean, it would be, it would be tough. We'd be a good team.

You think that you'd survive in the wilderness, Craig? You think that you'd survive in the wilderness? If it was life or death? I'm not talking about like you and I are fighting each other to live. No, I'm saying – You're on that side of the woods and I'm on this side of the woods and it's like, okay, go and survive. I'm saying if it was for a competition, no. If it was real life, yes. What the fuck does that mean, Craig? Okay.

What the fuck does that mean? Find my body, guys. Inside Craig's gut because he would eat me is what he's saying. No, we're not competing against each other. No, hold on. We're talking about different things. What I mean is if it was a competition like a TV show or a bet, no, I'm not going to win because I'm going to end up just freaking out and just – yeah.

I'm going to be like, where's the production tent? Like, I'm coming to eat your food and get me out of here. Okay. So for survival, no one's within, you know, 100 miles. And you're like, you think that you could survive. You think that you could build a shelter and gather food, enough food to, you know, survive and live. Survive to be rescued. Yes. I watch a lot of TV. Okay. Okay. And I have a lot of TikToks.

I think I'm dead. I think I'm dead. You need an imagination and you need to have some willpower and you'll figure it out. Within four days. If you read The Hatchet, you want to survive. I fucking read Hatchet. I loved that book. Man, that was a good book. I feel like the author's name was like something Paulson. Maybe I'm wrong. Nick, look it up. I see you down there. Gary Paulson. Gary Paulson!

No way I just hit that. Okay. Hatchet rocked. I feel like what's the number one thing that you do? You try to find fresh water or are you building like a shelter or are you building fire? There's a couple of different pillars. You need shelter before it gets late. You need fire. Fire is number one. Okay. But you need water like fucking quick.

You do, but you need the other two first. But then if you work yourself too heavy, you need water. But you have to build, you should build your shelter near a freshwater source. So like you're not going to build it in the middle of the woods if there's not a spring nearby. Okay. So what you just said is that you're searching for water first. Yeah, you're searching. Yeah, that's true. You're right. Okay. But then you need fire to boil it. You give me three days. I'm out. I'm done. I'm dead.

I used to camp a lot. You're not going to die in three days. Yeah, but seven and without water, right? Like we have four days. You don't have water. That's your first thing. You find water and then you do shelter and then you survive. Or you do shelter, then water. North Star to like a water supply. I don't know where water is. I'm not tapping a tree. I guess it depends on where you like. If you're like in the desert, I'm probably going to die. Like if we crash in the desert, I'm out.

The cold would suck. Yeah, or like, who is that? Like, you know, the people who crash in the Alps and had to eat their, like, dead people. Yeah, the Andes. I feel like you just, like, eat snow, maybe. And then eat each other. Okay, well, that was a rousing dream of who would survive. Between the Southern Charm Boys, I know who the first one to die would be. Whitney? No. No, well, Whitney, too. Shep would be...

Shep, okay, here's the thing. Shep knows how to hunt and fish, but Shep will catch his fish and then hand it to someone to cook it for him. So he would have no fucking clue.

You know, he's like, now where's the hunting lodge so I can go inside and sit down by the fire and drink bourbon until you present me with a like bacon wrapped quail. That's what I'm waiting for. So I don't know if he had any fucking clue how to cook his meat. Now, neither would I, because I don't know how to skin an animal, but I can scale a fish. That was a lie. I don't know how to scale a fish.

I think you'd be able to figure it out if you needed to. I just think I could figure it out. Yeah. Oh God. All right guys. Well, that was fun. Yeah. I'm going to say bye to everyone. I love you all besties. I have to figure out how to ship a Christmas present back to my house from my hotel. Okay. All right, besties. Thanks so much for joining us this week and we'll see you next week.