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cover of episode Vol 17 三个人的友情一定太拥挤吗 ?聊聊当我们成为“透明人”的时刻

Vol 17 三个人的友情一定太拥挤吗 ?聊聊当我们成为“透明人”的时刻

2024/11/13
logo of podcast 平凡启示录

平凡启示录

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旺旺
晓宇
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旺旺:在多次的三人行友情经历中,我常常发现自己处于边缘化的位置,成为‘透明人’,感受到了被忽视和不被重视的痛苦。初中时期的三人行,由于性格差异和兴趣爱好不同,我被迫融入不喜欢的活动,感到非常难受,但当时选择了忍耐。高中时期的三人行,虽然很喜欢朋友,但因为朋友之间更亲密,我产生了占有欲和不安全感,最终通过表达不满和朋友进行沟通,最终达成了和谐的状态。工作后的三人行,由于性格差异和相处模式的不同,我再次感受到被边缘化的感受,但这次我选择默默承受,没有直接表达不满,最终选择退出友谊。在这些经历中,我学习到关注自身感受的重要性,并反思自己在人际交往中的不足。 晓宇:我与旺旺分享了各自在友情三人行中遇到的问题,并对旺旺的经历进行分析和评价。我认同旺旺在友情中容易被边缘化的感受,并指出其朋友在处理人际关系上的不足,例如没有意识到旺旺的不适,没有有效沟通,甚至使用了冷暴力。同时,我也分享了自己在高中时期用力过猛帮助独自吃饭的同学,以及在工作中被朋友push的经历,并反思了自身行为的不足。在与旺旺的讨论中,我们共同探讨了如何处理与朋友渐行渐远的情况,以及如何更好地关注自身感受,避免在友情中受伤。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do some people feel marginalized in three-person friendships?

In three-person friendships, one person often feels marginalized because the other two may share more similarities or interests, leading to a natural closeness that excludes the third. This dynamic can make the third person feel like an outsider, especially if their personality or preferences differ significantly from the other two.

What are some common experiences in three-person friendships that lead to feelings of exclusion?

Common experiences include being left out of conversations, activities, or inside jokes, feeling like the third wheel, and noticing that the other two have a stronger bond. These situations can make the third person feel invisible or unimportant in the friendship.

How did one speaker handle feeling excluded in a three-person friendship during high school?

The speaker expressed their feelings of exclusion by crying, questioning their friends, and even writing letters to them. Their friends responded by acknowledging the issue, writing heartfelt letters, and making efforts to include the speaker more, which helped restore balance in the friendship.

What lessons can be learned from experiencing exclusion in three-person friendships?

Experiencing exclusion can teach individuals to recognize and value true friendships, set boundaries, and prioritize their own well-being. It also encourages self-reflection and the understanding that not all friendships are meant to last, leading to healthier social connections in the future.

How did one speaker's experience with a three-person friendship at work differ from their school experiences?

In the workplace, the speaker felt excluded as their two colleagues bonded over shared interests and activities that the speaker didn’t participate in. Unlike in school, the speaker didn’t express their feelings openly, as they feared being seen as immature or overly sensitive by their colleagues.

What advice was given for handling the end of a friendship that no longer feels right?

If a friendship no longer feels right, it’s okay to gradually distance yourself or end the relationship. This can be done by reducing communication or addressing the issue directly if the other person is open to discussion. The key is to prioritize your own emotional well-being.

Why might someone feel like they are intruding in a three-person friendship?

Someone might feel like they are intruding if they perceive that the other two have a deeper or more established bond. This can happen when the third person is introduced to the friendship later or when the other two share more common interests or experiences.

What are some signs that a three-person friendship might be unhealthy?

Signs of an unhealthy three-person friendship include constant feelings of exclusion, lack of communication about issues, and one person consistently feeling undervalued or ignored. If the friendship causes more stress than joy, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

How can someone rebuild their confidence after feeling excluded in a friendship?

Rebuilding confidence involves recognizing that the exclusion is not a reflection of their worth, seeking out supportive and inclusive friendships, and focusing on self-care. It’s also important to set boundaries and communicate openly in future relationships.

What role does self-reflection play in navigating three-person friendships?

Self-reflection helps individuals understand why they feel excluded, identify patterns in their friendships, and recognize their own needs and boundaries. It can also lead to healthier relationship choices and better communication with friends.

Chapters
本期节目探讨了三人行友谊中可能出现的边缘化问题。两位主持人分享了各自的经历,并探讨了如何避免成为‘透明人’,以及如何识别和珍惜真正的朋友。
  • 三人行友谊中,一人容易被边缘化
  • 性格差异可能导致友谊不平衡
  • 在不舒适的友谊中,可以选择离开

Shownotes Transcript

友情里的小心思,可不比爱情要少。

在本期节目中,我们将探讨在三人友情中,为何有时会感到被边缘化?旺旺和晓宇,都曾亲身体验过那种失落和不安,正如阿桑在《一直很安静》中所唱:“明明是三个人的电影,我却始终不能有姓名”。这种感受,你是否也曾有过?

三人行的友情是否注定要牺牲一个人的感受,被边缘化是否是我们真的做错了什么,我们分享了那些快乐和难过交织的故事,以及这些经历如何教会我们识别和珍惜真正的朋友。通过这些对话,我们发现这种不平衡的友情并不罕见,但它也给了我们一个机会去重新审视自己的社交圈,去建立更深层次的联系。

本期你会听到

3:29 忍受不愉快的友情还是选择孤独一个人?

10:15 另外两个人关系更好,我作为第三人怎样和ta们相处 ?

16:18 我为什么总是陷入友情三人行?

23:54 如果你慢慢发现跟某个人不再适合做朋友了,会怎么办呢?

27:55 当从一份友谊中被忽视,我总是陷入自我反思

35:24 友情三人行让我觉得自己介入了别人的感情

39:16 明明我想帮助朋友,为什么却让我们之间有了裂痕

48:47 遗憾收场的三人行,只剩你们两个在朋友圈互动

58:34 我们从那些让难过的友情中收获了些什么?

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