Ep. #695: David Hogg, Donna Brazile, Rep. Mike Lawler
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Welcome to an HBO podcast from the HBO Late Night series, Real Time with Bill Maher. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, people. How are you? I appreciate it. Thank you, everybody. All right. Thank you, everybody. I know. I know. It's very exciting. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it. And know why you're excited. This was a great week for America, not politically or economically or socially, but the other countries in the world could suck it because the Pope's American. That's right. How about that? And America's name is Robert Prevost, although he is transitioning to Leo XIV. Now, people, this is one of the biggest things that ever happened ever before.

A new pope, because now he's the leader of 1.4 billion Catholics, five of whom actually still go to church. One of the biggest things... New pope already gave his first mass. Oh, it was a good one. He said some very interesting things. He said, many people perceive Christianity as absurd and meant for the weak and the unintelligent. Finally, a pope who gets me. LAUGHTER

It is. It's so funny the way we make everything partisan right away, right? We have a new pope, and immediately the republic... He's too woke. Woke pope. And the liberals are like, no, I think he voted republican when he was in Chicago. The new pope, he says he does not pay attention to any of that. He takes his orders only from the almighty and Bill Belichick's girlfriend. That is the... You know...

When you're a pope, you've got a direct line to the big guy up there. So, you know, his first prayer as a pope, he prayed for wisdom, he prayed for humility, and he prayed, keep J.D. Vance the hell away from me. But, oh, speaking of the administration, interesting tidbit of news this week.

When he was asked, I think on Meet the Press, President Trump was asked, do you have a duty to uphold the Constitution? He said, I don't know. I'm not a lawyer. Really, word for word. I mean, isn't that kind of a main thing that they ask you at the inauguration? You know, remember that thing with the Bible in the hand? Oh, I guess I took an oath of office. I thought it was just like one of those user agreements when you get the phone, you know? Whatever, whatever. Except... No. No.

The president has bigger things on his mind. First of all, he's very determined to go to see Les Mis, Les Miserables. No, it's at the Kennedy Center, and a lot of the cast say they're not going to perform for him. He said, I'm going to go anyway. He said, I'm president, and presidents have a right to go to the theater. And besides, when did anything bad ever happen to a president going to a theater in Washington, D.C.? People, I don't know their history. No. No.

He's got bigger things on his mind. Dolls! He's obsessed with how many dolls we get to have. He said, consumers don't need 30 dolls. 30 dolls? I can barely blow up one. But, no...

What is it with the dolls? Three times in the last week now, three times, he has defended his tariffs talking about dolls. First, maybe children will have to have two dolls. And then a couple of days later, he said, they're going to have three or four dolls. And then he bumped it up the next day, five dolls. Yes, that's our dealmaker-in-chief, losing an imaginary negotiation with children. Okay. Okay.

But dolls are not the only thing we're going to have to cut down on. Please. He also said, people don't need 250 pencils. They can have five. Well, this is really going to put a crimp in pencil con. They can have five. Well, this is going to sting. Five pencils. Because I use a lot of pencils because it's 1960. I need pencils in case I have to write my name in my hula hoop.

Who has a pencil? What the fuck is it? All right, but you know what? Let's look on the bright side. It's Mother's Day Sunday, and I think it is entirely fitting that we set aside a day to celebrate the woman who cares for our kids and has sex with Dad.

But enough about the nanny. How about Mother's Day, everybody? Mother's Day. All right, we've got a great show. Donna Brazile and Congressman Mike Lawler are here. But first up, he's the vice chair of the DNC and co-founder of the Leaders We Deserve PAC, David Hogg. David. Good to see you, pal. David Hogg. David.

It's like deja vu. Look, we're very proud of you. We feel you grew up on this show. How many times have you been on this show? This is my third time. Oh, I thought it was like eight. Okay, well... No, I'm not that old yet. You've done very well. No, you're only 25, and you're the vice chair of the Democratic National Committee. Very impressive. What does that job entail? So, that job really helps to...

play a role in managing a lot of what the DNC focuses on, which is things like the presidential primary. It's helping to be the campaign in waiting for the president. It's helping to manage the debate schedule and helping to support our state parties and local parties around the country. It's a volunteer role, I should add, as well. So it's entirely volunteer capacity. So nothing. I was hoping for...

But why am I, I'm reading your name all the time in the paper. There's so much controversy around you. What is the controversy? You must have hit a nerve somewhere. What's going on there with you and the DNC? Well, look, I'm not here to defend the indefensible. The fact of the matter is, last election cycle, we lost vote share with every single demographic, except predominantly the older people and people with PhDs. That is a major problem.

We have an issue here that goes way beyond our messaging. If this was just a messaging problem, we'd spend $2 billion last election cycle and we still got the result that we had. This is a messenger problem. And what I'm trying to do here is say, all right, we're going to light a fire under Democrats' asses to make sure that we are here to meet the moment that our country is in and show people how we are not just the party that is against Donald Trump, but we're a party that is here to provide an alternative vision for the future of this country. So, so, Bill...

To show how are we finding to make it so that people don't have to make impossible decisions. And this really became true to me last September when my father was on his deathbed with early onset Parkinson's disease. Despite being a Navy helicopter pilot with full VA benefits and a medically retired FBI agent, his cost of care at the end of his life was $19,000 a month. And I had to make a spreadsheet to figure out how long we could afford to keep him alive. And these

And the only reason why my family didn't go bankrupt is because my dad didn't live long enough for that to happen. And unfortunately,

That's not a unique story in this country. And there are so many people around this country that are having to make impossible decisions like that every day. And what I want the Democratic Party to be is the party that shows what are we doing to ensure that nobody has to make impossible decisions like that anywhere in the richest country on the planet? And what are we doing as well to fight back against the corruption that has broken this system that has eviscerated the American dream? And what are we doing to revive it? So connect me from the story about your father to Democratic politics. Right.

Democrats passed Obamacare. Right. Okay. That's part of the reason he had insurance in the first place. And look... What I'm saying, what should they have done? Where is the gap there that the Democrats didn't do something and then your father had this terrible experience? So I want to acknowledge that the reason why my dad was able to even remain on his insurance in the first place was because of the protections of the Affordable Care Act, which was championed by Democrats, right? Along with the fact... Along with the fact, Bill, that...

The reason why my family didn't go bankrupt before that was because of the social security system that we helped to build as well. And that's amazing, but we have so much further to go. Right now in this country, far too many people, especially younger people, are struggling to afford their rent. They're struggling to afford college. They're struggling to afford their health care. And what we have to show is what are we doing to make it so that that's not an excess. Okay, but you're not answering my question.

What are the Democrats proposing? What are you proposing to get that money from the people who don't have it and need it? Where are we going to get that money? An expanded social safety net, the same way that we expanded it for hospice, for example, that covers many people. We should do that for our elder care because what really concerns me, Bill, right now is that my generation and people that are in the generation above me as well, millennials,

We're a sandwich generation that are experiencing skyrocketing costs of things like child care and skyrocketing costs of things like elder care at the same time. And if we don't address that with interventions from the state, we have a real problem. But people know that this is what the Democrats are better at. The voters know that. And they still didn't vote for them.

I mean, if you go and look why they didn't vote for them, it was more the woke stuff, wasn't it? Isn't that the strategy that Trump employed? Like, she's for they, them, and he's for you. That was the big ad that worked. I think the reason why that worked, though, Bill, is because people felt like they weren't heard by us. Voters told us two things, more than anything, in the past election, and I'm going to get a lot of heat for what I'm about to say from my fellow Democrats, but we told people...

People heard from us that Joe Biden, people said to us that Joe Biden is too old and they said the prices are too high. And we said with the power of $2 billion behind us, no, he's not, then yes, he is.

and then, no, they aren't. Look at this graph of, you know, the stock market or whatever it is. If you tell people not to believe their eyes or their wallets, you're going to lose them. And part of what I'm trying to do here is... Trump does it all the time. Well, he is Donald Trump. Ultimately, unlike Republicans, Democrats have the hard job of making government work. We don't run on the idea that it's not going to work and then do a terrible job by screwing up our economy of tariffs and then blaming the guy that just came before us and saying, oh, this is all because of us when we see clearly it is his fault. Well, we heard it. Well, we're here to do, Bill...

What we are here to do is to make government work, and that's always going to be harder to make something work than it is to make it fail. But that is the sacred task that we're trying to take on. And I should acknowledge the fact, too, that the reason why I ended up in Parkland in the first place, where the shooting happened, obviously, is because of California's housing crisis.

That wasn't because of Republican leadership that created that. And it's still a major crisis today because my father couldn't we couldn't afford to pay our mortgage anymore had he medically retired in California. That's how we ended up in Florida in the first place. So what I'm trying to do with this initiative with Leaders We Deserve, the organization that we're working with, is to challenge Democrats that we feel like are failing to meet the moment in safe congressional seats that don't risk us losing the House and say to them, look, nobody is entitled to their position of power because ultimately,

The positions of power in this country don't belong to any member of Congress that is out there. They belong to the people that vote them into office. And the people are showing us right now with our record low approval ratings that they're not happy with us. And what I'm trying to do here is show that we're trying to bring in a new generation. So why is the establishment mad at you? This sounds like basic Democratic stuff. I mean, James Carville called you a contemptible little twerp. Well, then he flipped.

As well. And he came around and he said, actually, the DNC should not remove David. And you're not a twerp. Exactly. Well, it's because... Thank you. It's because... Very important. I think part of it, though, is because we have become very uncomfortable with having conversations with people who don't agree with us. And you know why we were able... I was able to reach that agreement with Bill? It's because... Sorry, James...

It's because I talked to him. We debated each other and we stood our ground and we agreed, look, we have our differences, but ultimately we all want to do the same thing here, which is get back to winning majorities and delivering for the American people. And that's what he saw there. And part of what happens in politics is people want to do two things at the same time that are incompatible.

They want to keep the same people in the positions of power that they're in that are individually beneficial to them, and they want to get back to winning. But we're not going to be able to do that with the same cast of characters that got us here. And the answer to that is to use democracy within our own party to give voters the option of voting for somebody new so that they at least have the option. Right. So you want to get rid of the dead wood. Effectively, yes. But it's not just a matter of age, to be clear. Unfortunately, Bill, as you know, there are young people who suck just as much as there are older people who suck as well.

Yes, I do. Right? But, but, but. Thank God. Right. It's not that simple to just say, well, if you're above a certain age, you shouldn't be there. But whenever I see someone your age talking politics, it's usually a Republican guy. I mean, that seems to be where all the energy and the pride, and we know that the Democrats do have a problem with men. Yes. What are you going to do about that?

Well, I think, one, it's for us to acknowledge the fact that a lot of younger men, I think, agree with what Democrats are saying in terms of making sure that we're getting things cheaper, that nobody wants to pay incredibly high costs for their medical bills or their cost of care. Right. Nobody wants to see, in my opinion, nobody wants to see members of Congress that are doing insider trading either. At least I certainly don't. And that goes for both Democrats and Republicans. And I

Right now, what I think happened last election is younger men, they would rather vote for somebody who feels, who even if they don't completely agree with, they don't feel judged by, than somebody who they do agree with, that they feel like they have to walk on eggshells around constantly because they're going to be judged or ostracized or excommunicated. And what's interesting about this moment is it feels like the two parties in some senses have flipped where, you know, Republicans used to be the judgmental assholes.

in many ways. And since many Democrats, despite us, I would say for most of us, coming from the right place of wanting to do the right thing, we've created a culture where we say, well, if you say the wrong thing, you're excommunicated. And that's just not how human beings work. Nobody is perfect. But ultimately, what we have to do here is figure out how to bring people back in and work towards the bigger goal of advancing the future of this country and helping young people especially get by so that they're able to focus on their lives and, you know,

getting with a young woman or something like that instead of how are they going to pay their rent, for example, or how are they working their two jobs. Young people should be able to focus on what young people should be focused on, which is how to get laid and how to go and have fun. David Hahn, for President, ladies and gentlemen. Great to see you. We'll see you back here, I'm sure, very soon. All right, let's meet our panel.

Okay. All right, don't start yet. He ranks as the fourth most bipartisan member of Congress and represents New York's 7th District. Congressman Mike Lawler is here, Congressman. Okay. And she's a veteran Democratic political strategist and an ABC News contributor. Donna Brazile, the great friend. Thank you. Thank you. Um...

Okay, there's so many great things I want to get to this week. Let's start with the Pope, but I first want... Can I start again? Okay. Okay. Now, first of all, Bill, I came all the way out here because you came to Washington, D.C., and I live just a few blocks from the White House. And...

I don't know what's wrong with you, but I had gumbo, I had boudin, I had some etch-a-fait, jambalaya. Baby, I made a crawfish pie. My dog was waiting up to lick your toes, okay? Because she likes boudalicious. You didn't show up. I'm not mad at you. You had your own bedroom, and we would never share a bathroom because boys don't know how to put that toilet seat down when they finish it. So, I just want to let you know I've got over that because I'm a Catholic girl, and I can forgive you.

I forgive you, Bill. I forgive you. The dinner ran long. I was going to come. I was expecting to get thrown out in the first ten minutes, and it didn't happen. I was waiting up for you. Well, you're both Catholic. Yeah. So, I mean... And look, obviously, I don't agree with that point of view. I was raised Catholic, so we were all raised Catholic. We all have that in common. I got over it. Some people don't. We still have our Catholic guilt. We do. I mean, but honestly...

You know, speaking of Trump, he put out a picture of himself as the pope last week, and nobody cared. I feel like...

I feel like if this had happened in 1960 and Kennedy did that, it would have been a giant scandal. It's not just because of Trump. I just feel like religion, it's so anachronistic at this point. And nobody really... It's just like a hobby. It's like... It's a feel-good story. It's like when the pandas are fucking, you know? It's like... We have a new pope. Oh, great. But... It...

Is it really anything more than the religion's royal family? Does anybody really, does it matter who the Pope is any more than, you know, who went first in the NFL draft? I really don't think it does. You know, I could have been Pope Trumpus I, okay? Congressman who does impressions, that's pretty... Look, obviously, as a practicing Catholic, I'm Irish-Italian Catholic from New York, you know, the

The Catholic faith is still, I think, very strong in New York. Cardinal Dolan is, you know, a character, somebody who certainly continues to have an impact in New York. But I think certainly we have seen, obviously, a decline in the number of people going to church, especially post-COVID. We've seen a decline, obviously, I think, generally speaking, in America in terms of faith and certainly...

the engagement of faith in the public sphere. And so certainly there's a much bigger rise in secularism. And so I think it's actually a good moment in time where you have the first American pope. And I think that may give an opportunity for someone to engage, frankly, within our country in a positive way and really kind of rebuild the trust in the church, which certainly in

America has taken a beating over the years? Well, my opposing view would be India and Pakistan, two nuclear-tipped countries, look like they're about to go to war. These are the same people.

They are only divided by religion. Yeah. That is the only difference between an Indian and a Pakistani, Muslim and Hindu. It's just I know who God is and you don't. Right. That's why religion sucks. Okay. Bill, I can also say that some people even held slaves and said that this is their religious view. It's in the Bible. Bible supports slavery. Yeah.

And clearly, the Bible also supports slaves becoming free souls and leaving their bondage behind. For many of us who... I'm more spiritual than religious because, you know, I'm never going... When I go into church every Sunday, they say, here come the sinner. And I'm like, y'all better be glad I'm coming. Because there's nobody else feeling these views. And let me just say this. I love...

I love my church. I love what I have become because of my closeness to Christ. And let me also tell you, I'm a Christian woman because you know what Jesus' first miracle was? He turned water into wine. He listened to his mother and got the party restarted. I'm always there. I'm for Jesus. Well, you're going to be happy to hear. I read today this new pope, his lineage is from, he's Creole. Yes. White smoke, black poach.

That's what they say, but I don't know. I don't know either. It's the first day, and they always get everything wrong. But maternal grandparents from Haiti. So he's kind of also the first black pope, or at least part black pope. We claim it. Look, Italian, French, we claim everything. We're from New Orleans. We'll claim you. We'll make you gumbo.

He apparently voted Republican when he was in Chicago. He's for... But he's... The way... Everybody gets partisan. He's also for the poor and refugees. You know, but so Selena Gomez. It's not a big thing. His father fought in World War II. Yes. On our side, as opposed to Benedict. Then they moved to Chicago. Yeah. He was an altar boy until he lost his looks. All right. So... The other...

And he's a white-shot. This is why this week is weird to me, because to me, we're caught between the past and the future, and neither one of us could wipe us out. The new pope, that's something from the first century. Then, we all saw this video, or if you didn't, I'm going to show it to you now. Okay. Of...

This, to me, is the shot hurt around the world. The robots have started to fight back. Have you not seen the video? I did, but I... Let's show it. This is from a factory in China. It's sketchy as to why... Why? Well, what happened? But plainly, we'll just show the video and then we'll talk about it. And there it is. He's sort of... The robot's hanging on this crane. And then he's... Okay. Okay.

I assume that means they were working on it. This looks like a factory floor. And you see the guy was very scared. This is not faked. You know, okay, if you don't get that this is where this is going, that the robots are going to fight back. I mean, I don't even swear at my car anymore. I'm too afraid.

I swear to God. That's the 2025 version of Tiananmen Square. I mean, the robots are rising up against the sweatshops in China. And obviously, when you start factoring AI into this and emotional intelligence into this, I think it is obviously somewhat alarming that you start seeing a robot react in that way when it is supposed to obviously perform...

a designated task, and now all of a sudden it's fighting back. I remember after 9-11, Dick Cheney said, do you remember the 1% doctrine? Like, if there's a 1% chance that Pakistan is working with al-Qaeda to develop nuclear weapons, we have to treat that like it's going to happen. Well, we quoted the godfather of the AI, Hinton, last week. He said there's a 10% to 20% chance

that they take over. Sam Altman, he runs the AI world pretty much. He's a prepper. He's expecting this to happen. So he's ready for it, including this kind of shit.

They say the hallucination rates of new AI systems are as high as 79%. People keep trying to get me on to chat GPT, and I'm like, I'll do it when it's not wrong, like one out of 20 times. It just makes shit up.

And then speaks about it authoritatively, and I guess if you argue with it, it's going to go fucking nuts like this. By the way, I was on... Right around Christmas, I was on Chris Cuomo's show, and he wished me a happy Hanukkah to start the show, and I said, well, thanks, but I'm Irish-Italian Catholic, and it turns out he had asked ChatGPT, is Mike Lawler Jewish? And it said yes. LAUGHTER

In fairness to ChatGBT, I would have thought so, too. I think it's the beer. It's the beer. Bill, I've been in the classroom now for 33 years, and I became alarmed when my students started writing perfect papers. I don't mind if you missed the semicolon, okay? The comma, yeah. But...

There's something about it that we want, we need to understand that it's here to stay. Automation is here. AI is here. We're in a race right now with AI all across the world. This is the future. We need to begin to understand how it will impact and transform our world. Well, I...

I don't think we can just say we're going to fight with the robots. We still have some control, and if we don't figure this out... Well, that's what I'm saying. The time is now. Yeah. While we can still unplug them. Because that's what they did with this one. They unplugged it. But, you know, when... I agree. But what if it's on a battery? Exactly. The ones you're going to have in your house, we're getting very close to that already, it's going to be Megan...

It's going to be the doll that goes nuts, and you can't unplug it. And by the way, if it's not the robots that are wiping us out, AI is going to do this economically. I mean, David is so worried about the prices. This is small potatoes compared to, listen to this. This came out this week. Graduation season is upon us, and the unemployment rates of new grads weigh up. Why is that? Because AI is doing the jobs that even the white-collar kids used to be able to do. So they can write code. Right.

There's a company, Aurora Driver, driverless trucks it makes. Well, they've already tested it over 1,200 miles. So there's 3.55 million truck drivers in America, and that Uber driver, they're going to be out of a job.

We already see it at the Amazon warehouse. What are we going to do? Well, what about the possibilities of having, you know, these automated systems help us reduce, you know, workplace hazards? I mean, there are things that they can do that human beings cannot do. They can lift things. They can move things. They can box things. So...

We have to adapt to the future, Bill. We can't run from AI. We cannot run from automation. Okay, but what are people going to do for jobs? Well, first of all, there will be a lot of people who can work in those data centers that don't need a four-year college degree. We can also train a new generation of Americans to understand how to use this great technology. When 70% of students in the country are not attending college, part of it is a question of how to actually have an education system that is focused on college.

career readiness as opposed to college readiness. Secondarily, when it comes to AI, which is going to be important, IBM is headquartered in my district. They're obviously leading the fight against China in terms of making sure that we're the winners in the quantum computing battle, AI battle. But...

We have to have a regulatory structure in place because my biggest concern is you start seeing bad actors like China use AI for the purpose of financial market manipulation, and we're going to have a catastrophe across the board. And so this is both in terms of having a structure in place, but also, to your point, Bill,

career paths, we need to be having a much broader discussion about our education system. Too many kids having a philosophical discussion at college as opposed to a focus on what they're going to do for their career. Does this ever come up at your town halls? I know your town hall was in the news this week. Just a little bit. Yes, and if you missed it, it went viral and somebody got thrown out. I think we have a little footage of it here. And by the way, thank you for... Yeah, one of your fans. Reminded me of

So, okay, look, first of all, thank you for keeping the booking. Yes. Because it's a tough week for a politician after a thing like that. My question is, why was that woman thrown out? I mean, I know you called her a radical left-wing activist.

First of all, they're invited too, aren't they? Oh, of course. And that's why I'm willing to do it at a time when, frankly, leadership is telling members not to do town halls. I think it's important to engage in conversation with my constituents.

She asked a question as she was randomly called on to ask a question, which was fine. She asked the question. I answered it. She didn't like my answer. She kept screaming and haranguing. She got into a verbal altercation with my staff. She was asked to stop. She was asked to stop by security. She was then asked to stop by the state police and chose not to. And so they escorted her, removed her out.

But we had people throwing things, punching my staff, verbally accosting my staff. That kind of stuff is unacceptable from my standpoint. And I'm more than willing to take the heat. I stood there for two hours, took questions, took booze, you know, cheers. And I have no problem with that. But if people want to come there to actually have a constructive dialogue and discussion, I'm all for it. If you want to protest, go do it outside.

And people did do it outside. They did. I understood. Again, there were people outside who didn't feel like they wanted to be in the room, but they were your constituents. Look, I used to be a Hill staffer back in the day. I'm old, so I don't want to give my age because, you know, I was a Hill staffer. Thank you, baby, because, you know, you can get gumbo, too. I'll be coming next week. And you can bring your wife. All right.

I have a lot for everybody. I don't even discriminate against pets. You can bring your pets. But, you know, Bill, look, on both Democratic and Republican lawmakers, they are catching hell. You know why? The American people don't like what they see. They don't like the tariffs. They don't like... They don't like Doge.

They are pissed off. And we need to listen. We need to let people fit. But yet we need to bring them back to the constructive conversations. What can we do to ensure that we have an economy that works for everybody? Here's another question that came up. Somebody asked you, now is your time to stand up to the authoritarian Trump regime. Does that guy have a point?

Look, I think there's obviously areas where I disagree with the president. I said very clearly after the 9-0 Supreme Court decision that they should uphold the

the law. And if the Supreme Court is ordering the facilitated return of Mr. Abrego Garcia, they should do so. The Supreme Court ruling also said that they can do so for the purpose of deporting him again. So it's not that he was going to be released. And that's why I was very clear they should abide by that. I've been very clear, for instance, when it comes to some of the spending decisions that are happening.

World Trade Center Health Fund. There were cuts to 16 staff members and Dr. Howard, who runs the program. Firefighters not being able to get certified to get cancer treatment. That's bullshit. And I immediately, along with my colleagues, pushed back, and we were able to get the White House to weigh in and get it reversed.

The bottom line is Donald Trump was elected, whether people like it or not, to serve as president. Congress has a co-equal role and responsibility, and I am going to exert that every step of the way. Right now, my focus is on reconciliation and protecting critical social safety nets like Medicaid. And I am working closely with the administration, with leadership, pushing back against proposed cuts.

That is the responsibility and the role. And so when people say, what is your red line? That's my red line, making sure that Medicaid is protected.

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See you next time.

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So listen, there is news from the world of theater. The Luigi Mangione musical has opened. This is not a joke. Luigi Mangione, he is the guy, yes, who shot the healthcare executive. Because as we know, that one healthcare executive is responsible for our entire imperfect healthcare system. So he should get shot in the back. And now he's a folk hero, Luigi Mangione. He has his own goddamn musical and...

Broadway has taken notice, and they've come up with some other musicals for really people you would not think would get a musical. Would you like to see some of these? Well, for example, you've all heard of West Side Story, right? Okay, well, now there's Kanye West's side of the story. Oh, there's one about Bin Laden's 9-11 plot coming out. It's called Osamah Mia.

You all know The Sound of Music, right? That was a great show. Now there's The Hound of Music about P. Diddy. Also coming to Broadway, Azar is Born. I like that one. Also, Beat Me in St. Louis starring Chris Brown. Diddler on the Roof starring Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, my God.

And, of course, no night on Broadway would complete without Hello, Dahmer. There's actually two about Jeff Dahmer. There's another one coming out called Man of Omuncha. All right. Oh, my God. Tasted popcorn. So...

All right, one more question about questions. You didn't get this, but I mentioned in the monologue, Trump was asked, do you have a duty to uphold the Constitution? And his answer was, I don't know, I'm not a lawyer. Cool answer if that was Biden or Obama? No. Not a cool answer for Trump either? Yes. Oh, cool. You uphold the Constitution. Oh, great. All of us have that responsibility. Well, you're going to get a call tomorrow. That's all I'm going to say.

All right, let's move to the other side. Joe Biden is out on the campaign... Not on the campaign trail, but sort of on the talk show circuit. I did not think he was going to come back and start talking, but he did. And, uh... Well, he was talking. It just wasn't making a lot of sense. Well, it's...

Sense to him. I mean, he's still blaming it on sexism and racism the Democrats lost. He said, I've never seen quite as successful and consistent campaign undercutting the notion that a woman couldn't lead the country and a woman of mixed race.

I think he's not living in the year we're living in. I mean, that's always in the mix in this country to a degree, but I just think... I know everybody. We're about to, you know, and I'm sure you will have some of the authors of these new books that are coming out about Joe Biden's mental acuity. Look, I've talked to the president several times since the election, okay? And I like Joe Biden. I've known Joe Biden for as long as I've known you, almost 30-something years, baby. You know, you can't deny our love.

I can't. I can't and I don't. You think I got down a five dollar flight for any man? And I ain't get no pooper la la? Baby, I do like you. I love your dirty ass when I didn't like you. I love you back. I love you. I love you.

Now, here's the thing. Donald Trump has been talking Joe Biden up every day. It's Joe Biden folk. If the economy is good, it's me. If it's bad, Joe Biden. So I think Joe Biden, after the 100 days, he, you know, kept that little tradition. He came out and talked about his achievement, but he also told the world that he's really worried about what's going on in Russia. He also told the world, you know, that he's concerned about the economy. Look, Kamala Harris, there were many reasons for her defeat, but...

I think among the first was the fact that the six or seven million Americans who voted for Biden-Harris in 2020 did not come out because they didn't feel that the administration was doing enough. And maybe when Kamala was on The View and they asked her, what would you do differently? She should say, I'm going to lower costs. I

am going to keep faith with the American people. I'm going to create jobs. I'm going to work for you. And if I'm not working hard enough, you take me out in four years. But look, we know why Kamala lost. And one last thing. I know people talk about racism. We elected Barack Hussein Obama, not once, but twice. So America may have problems with race, but I tell you one damn thing. I am proud that I live in a country that elected Barack Hussein Obama. Thank you.

Mark my words. Now, I might be 80 years old in a blue dress because, you know, they say the devil got a blue dress. I might be 80 with a blue dress. But, you know, we are going to have a woman president. Y'all just mark my word on that, too. Of course we are. It could be a Republican. It could be a Democrat. I just hope it's a good person. At the end of the day, there were a number of reasons why...

the Democrats lost in November and Donald Trump won. Chief among them was the economy and the border. But the fact is that many in the Democratic Party and in the media lied about Joe Biden's mental acuity, period. And this book coming out this week by Jake Tapper and Alex Thompson, that is going to be a big problem for Democrats because I do believe it is a reckoning. There is a major...

problem that the American people have when they see with their own eyes that there is an issue, which I think was on full display this week on The View and in the BBC interview, again, that he just was not up to the task, certainly of another term, but frankly of completing the term that he had. And I think Democrats really misled the American people, and frankly Kamala Harris did nothing to own that, and that really...

really did backfire on her. I feel like this has become this conventional wisdom that we all were pretending that Biden was not what he was. I did a thousand things.

thousand jokes about Biden stumbling and falling and getting off his bike and it looked like he had a diaper full of poop. Maybe he was packing something else, Bill. You don't know. But look at how Nancy Pelosi dealt with it before that debate and then after that debate. And after that debate, she did everything to make sure that he was out. Right.

But it's not like she didn't know there was a problem. It's not like she wasn't engaged with him in conversation.

They were very close until she turned her back on him. At the end of the day, it was Joe Biden's decision. He made the decision to step back. He made the decision to run for office. At the end of the day, it was Joe Biden. He took responsibility. That's one thing he did on the view that most people are not talking about. No, he didn't. He said it wouldn't have made any difference. Correct. That's what he said. I don't think it would have made a difference. Which I think for the Democrats, if they had an open primary, it would have made a difference. I also think most Americans assume that

the American people would not vote for a convicted felon. And they thought that it was going to be an easy attack and that it wouldn't matter. Look, look, we know that Donald Trump became a disruptor. And many Americans, look, I don't begrudge the people who voted for Donald Trump, okay? I wish I could meet a couple more of them so I could try to bring them home. But

Bumbo. But the bottom line is, the American people last year, a year ago this day, most people disliked both choices, Biden as well as Trump. And we ended up with Harris and Trump. Donald Trump was able to expand his base, and the Democrats failed to reach their base and others. More than the personal, what they disliked was the high inflation and the open borders. Ah, okay.

And that really drove the election. I would also say when it comes to what happened last year, I think Tish James and Alvin Bragg did more to help Donald Trump than just about anybody. Because most people, if you're not deranged about Trump and you look at what was happening, you say, wait a minute.

This is a choice for the American people, not for a prosecutor in Manhattan or the Attorney General. And also, if I read one more time, 34... It's because the thing he was convicted, why he's a convicted felon, is because of the Stormy Daniels case. And he wrote 34 different checks. So, like, they can see through this bullshit. Now, I thought he should have gone to trial for what he really was guilty of. January 6th. Correct. Well, not just January 6th.

Asking for votes in Georgia. Thank you. But also not... January 6th is a little murky. What's not murky is that he never conceded the election, which encourages people to do things like January 6th. Correct. That, to me, was the crime. The Stormy Daniels thing. So when they hear convicted a felon, that's why he keeps the picture of himself as a felon in the White House, I hear from people. You were right. He should have taken the picture. I'm joking, right? I'm sure he saw it on his way in. I totally saw it. The first thing you see.

A picture with his fight, fight, fight. Fight for the American people. But by the way, people saw that image of him fighting, and then they saw the image of Joe Biden basically stumbling, and that was the difference. And I think people made a decision based on what they thought was in their best interest. But, you know, at the end of the day, Joe Biden did a damn good job running his country, making sure that we got back from COVID, got back on our feet. Thank you.

He brought inflation down. You're right. We could have done a better job on the border. But you know what? The Democratic Party is coming back. And maybe David has some special sauce, you know, that I'm going to get from him. Are you going to put it in the gumbo? No, baby. I'm going to put that in my drink. All right. So today, the president appointed Judge Jeanine Pirro from what?

She's my former colleague on Fox News. I can't say nothing. Are you serious? That's not bullshit. Oh, okay, good. To be the top federal prosecutor in Washington, D.C., this makes 23 people.

from Fox News. The Secretary of Defense came from Fox News. The Director of National Intelligence. Secretary of Transportation. Deputy Director of the FBI. That's Diane Bongino. Yes. The Border Czar. The State Department spokesman. I mean, I've heard of state-run TV. This is TV-run state. Um...

He loves Fox News, Bill. He loves Fox News. What do you think about that as a Republican who's running? I mean, your district obviously is one that voted for Kamala, right? By half a point, yeah. By half a point. Okay, so you're in a district of not Trumpers. Correct.

So what do you, what at the town hall when they're asking about Judge Jeanine Pirro, come on Congress, and what do you think about that? What do you say? Well, interestingly, Judge Jeanine was the Westchester County District Attorney, and I have half of Westchester, and she served as a judge. Look, obviously, I'm sure there are a lot of people that will disagree with many of her positions, but Jeanine Pirro certainly, from a legal standpoint, has the qualifications to serve in that capacity.

And, you know, certainly has the support of the president. I mean, they've been friends for a very long time. Al Piro, her ex-husband and the president have been friends for a very long time. They were. And they also did a lot of business deals together over the years. So that's honestly it doesn't surprise me in any of these positions.

You're going to appoint people who are supportive of your agenda, who are supportive of the work that you're trying to get done. Well, supportive of your agenda is a little different than people who are not qualified, who are just going to do whatever you tell them because they are loyalists, and that's the only qualification that matters. I don't think that's true of Jeanine Pirro, though. Jeanine Pirro has a legal pedigree here. Did you ever watch her on Fox? LAUGHTER

That is exactly, that's always happening. From a legal standpoint, she has a right. Look, I understand her desire to serve, but I would hope that she would have taken a different position. This is a very important position, the U.S. attorney for the District of Columbia. I remember working with Eric Holder when I served as a chief of staff for a member of Congress. Eric did a great job. I mean, it's local, national in scope, and international. It's a very important position. Maybe she might want to get back on Fox.

All right. Thank you, guys. That was a lot of fun. Time for New Rule. Hey! New Rule, the NYPD must come to terms with the fact that they probably will not successfully prosecute Lucy Laura, the attempted robbery suspect featured in this wanted poster. Witnesses all say the same thing. I didn't get a good look at her face. New Rule, the raccoon that Ohio police found holding a meth pipe in a woman's car...

is why people need to keep raccoons out of their garbage cans because garbage is a gateway litter to white trash. And I don't mean just the woman who owned the car. I mean the raccoon, too. He's the one who should be locked up. I'm no snitch, but I'm pretty sure I saw gang symbols on those paws.

New Rule, now that Dee Wallace, the actress who played the mom from E.T., has revealed that there was a romantic subplot between her and E.T., let's be thankful that didn't make the final cut. I don't think it would be quite the beloved classic it is if E.T.'s parting words to Elliot before boarding the spaceship was, by the way, I fucked your mom. LAUGHTER

New Rule, the inventor of the new kitchen tool, pizza scissors, has to admit, they're just scissors. Who are you kidding? You were high, you couldn't find that wheel cutter thing, so you said, fuck it, scissors, new pizza scissors. From the same stoner who brought you bread buns. What?

Uh, New Rule, don't hold the Met Gala the same week as the Papal Enclave. That's a good one. That is so true. It's too confusing and so embarrassing next week when Us Magazine says Cardinal Dolan wore it best.

And finally, New Rule, let's hear it for Democratic politicians who keep it real. Senator Alyssa Slotkin of Michigan says Democrats are, quote, weak and woke and should get some goddamn alpha energy and need to fucking retake the flag. I gotta say this. I love this new trend where politicians say fuck and shit. Thank you.

This used to never happen. Even when it did by mistake on a hot mic, it was a big scandal. But now it's become a way for politicians to signal the public that they are not just regular mad about something, but really fucking serious. Total bullshit. An epic fuck up. They call it a shit show. We need to unfuck our country. I say to that bullshit. Throw a fucking spine. I can't stand the bullshit. Somebody slap me and wake me the fuck up.

And people love it. Look, a politician said fuck. It's like in a movie when they make an old white lady rap. But here's the thing. Senator Klotkin is a serious person. She's a former CIA agent. You know how every streaming action movie now is about a soccer mom who used to be in the CIA? Okay, that's really her.

So we should listen to her because she's right. Lady Deadpool is right. Democrats should reclaim the flag and then get it clean because someone's been humping it. But seriously, this is a serious problem for Democrats. Less than one in four Democrats under 30 say they're proud to be an American. 54% say they're embarrassed by it. Embarrassed? Like America's your mom picking you up at school?

You're embarrassed to be an American? Well, guess what? The feeling's mutual. Because you have no perspective. Is America perfect? No, of course not. No country is. Although, don't get Tucker Carlson started on Russia. But...

But the U.S. is leagues ahead of the rest of the world on most of the progressive issues that are important to young people. America has 14 million women-owned businesses. 17% of black women are starting businesses, which is faster than white women or white men. Gay Americans are free to marry, and 49% of them own property. Yes, in America, gays buy buildings. In other places, they get thrown off them. LAUGHTER

You know all those old movies you think are cringe? Well, they're cringe because America changed. Because we modernized. Way more than most societies have. Our current Congress is the most racially and ethnically diverse ever. They're like a beautiful, useless rainbow. And we proudly live in a land where every TV commercial features a mixed-race couple, including the ones where it makes no sense. Mom's black, Dad's white, and the kid's Asian. You know...

But here is the dilemma for Democrats. Their young people, their key constituency, not only don't like their own civilization, they like the wrong one. They actually think Hamas is a liberation movement. They chant for the Houthis. They're chanting, we will honor our martyrs at Yale. They're looking for love in all the wrong countries.

Someone needs to tell the kids that America is not the society where women basically have no rights, where there's zero freedom of religion and where dissent is punishable by death. Our democracy may be on life support, but we still have elections. They don't.

And yet at Coachella this year, when an Irish rap group projected onto screens, "Fuck Israel, Free Palestine," got big applause. "Globalize the Intifada" is the catchphrase that's really catching on these days, as if worldwide suicide bombing and cosplaying Islamic revolutionaries is the answer to our problems.

At an AOC Bernie Sanders rally in Idaho last month, someone threw a Palestinian flag over an American flag, and the crowd erupted in approval. What should have happened after that is one of the adults on stage should have told their young loyal followers, this is not a symbol of freedom. This is.

If the thought leaders in the Democratic Party keep encouraging and not rebuking the idea that America is cringe and the people who run Gaza are great, the Democrats are doomed. Alyssa Slotkin's right. Liberals are weak and woke, especially the white ones, and they indulge all sorts of nonsense from their kids, a pattern that then continues on in the Democratic Party. Last election, it was all the gender stuff.

the insistence that men can have babies and such. And now I fear that "we like the terrorists" is the new that. Liberals need to push back on the dumb ideas that come from their children. The Democrats' problem is the energy of the parties with the young and the younger with the terrorists. That's not good. So talk to your children and remind them you don't really want to live like your heroes in Hamas. All the shit you do all day, it was all made in America.

Your smartphone, your Grubhub, your freedom to bitch about America. That's all American stuff. You tell your phone you want a milkshake and a guy brings it to your house. Please, you couldn't survive a week living in Intifadaville. Thank you.

You're like the girl in White Lotus who was going to live in a Buddhist monastery and then lasted one night. All right, that's our show. I want to thank Representative Mike Lawler, Donna Brazil, and David Hogg. Club Random drops every Sunday on YouTube, or listen wherever you get podcasts. Now go to Overtime on YouTube. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

Catch all new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher every Friday night at 10:00. Or watch them anytime on HBO On Demand. For more information, log on to HBO.com.