So whether or not you stay in the marriage/relationship you need to learn how to communicate with your next partner. Yes, there will be a next partner and you cannot keep making the same mistakes. Do not waste time dating until you have learned how to become a conscious partner.

Being a conscious partner is vital to your reconciliation, too!

A conscious partnership is a relationship that is mutually supportive and fosters the psychological and spiritual growth of both individuals; it's when both partners focus on the relationship as primary.

The characteristics of a Conscious Partnership:

1. You realize that your love relationship has more meaning than you once thought. You see the person clearly. The good, the bad, and the ugly and recognize their patterns of needing, showing, and accepting love are deeply embedded within them.

2. You create a more accurate image of your partner. Let go of the illusions and begin to see your partner's truth. You see that they are not your savior nor your adversary. They are another human being that once to feel connected and happy just like you.

3. You learn to ask for what you want. You say things in a concise with, with a kind voice, a soft look, and speak clearly. You use "I" messages. "I need..." "I feel..." You realize you have to develop clear channels of communication so that both you and your partner can get the specifics of the love you both desire.

4. You move from being reactive to proactive. No more reacting without thinking. You will employ new brain responses by becoming intentional in your interactions and practice behavior in a more constructive and effective manner.

5. You focus on keeping the relationship safe at all times. You acknowledge the negative effects of criticism, blame, and shame. You will replace negativity with affirming, positive behaviors to establish the safety necessary for growth.

6. You learn to value your partner's needs and wishes as well as your own. Your partner's role is not to just take care of your needs. Nor is your role to take care of their needs. You take care of each other's needs while tending to your own!

7. You find new ways to satisfy your basic needs and desires. During the power struggle, people cajole, harangue, and blame their partners to coerce them to meet their needs. When you create a more conscious partnership, you discover that your partner can indeed be a resource for you once you abandon your self-defeating tactics.

8. You shift from judgment to curiosity about your partner in order to discover their unique internal world. You move away from assumptions and judgment and toward curiosity and wonder to discover who your partner is, accept who they are not, and revel in the fact that it is ok.

9. You become aware of your drive to become loving and united with the connecting energy. You must have the capacity to love without expecting anything in return while taking care of yourself. Let your partner know they can depend on you, and they will do the same for you.

10. You accept the difficulty of creating a lasting love relationship. No one is perfect. You realize that you must be a good partner and the right partner. You understand that a good relationship requires commitment, discipline, and the courage to change.

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Conscious Partnership