Ask Us Anything Part One
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Do it, Claire. I can't. Dear Rami, don't you... I actually don't even know the lyrics. Dear Steven, I know looks can be deceiving, but I swore I saw a light in you. I just typed in Dear Rami lyrics. Maybe I am getting high. We're still not even... We're still... Maybe that's the intro. So people can really see us. Another episode of Riot Answers, mostly. We're doing it. We're committing now. We're going. We're going.

My name is Claire Donald. My name is Tess Palomo. And today we've got a special episode where we're trying something new. We had an itch that we needed to scratch. What a crazy phrase. We made it up. We did. Right here. Yeah, we were like...

I don't know. One of the episodes we were like, write us in for love advice. Maybe it's Valentine's Day. Yeah, we were like kind of doing a bit and we're like, wouldn't it be funny if people wanted to go to us for advice? And then we're like, why the hell don't they? Like, what if people did get to us for advice? And we pretty much just pounded you all to send in some goddamn questions. Truly bullied you into sending us questions. It's true. Everyone's like, enough. Like, I don't want to ask you advice on anything. I really don't. But we had some

that just came out of nowhere where we didn't even push. I know. Seriously. And I was so excited. Some of you, we talk too often. Some of you, we don't hear from that much. So when we do get to hear from you, it's really exciting. Yeah. It was like, hey, it felt like a new friend. It did. It did. It does. Yeah. It is. We've had a can. Thank you.

We are a little high. We are. Yes. Like we said last week on our Studio 54 episode, if you haven't checked it out, check it out. We have a new partnership in the Ram Fam with Cannes. It's just a gorgeous alternative, guys. It is. We're drinking the lemon lavender flavor right now. One of the high boys, so it's five milligrams. We're so happy to be involved with them. Yeah, go get one. Go get one. Right now. And I've said. Yeah.

But yeah. So again, this is the first time we've ever done Dear Rammies. And a lot of you guys are like, what is Dear Rammies? We don't know.

That's for us to figure out together. But we wanted to be like a Dear Alice. That's like the original column, right? Yeah. Or is it Virginia? Virginia? No, I think Virginia. We're always asking. I mean, it is for me. Actually, I think Virginia was the girl who wrote in a letter to Santa. So I think you might be right. I think Dear Alice was like the OG advice column. So that's sort of what we're trying to replicate. Of course, we're going to be keeping all...

names anonymous. Oh, yes. Okay. Yes. Right? Yeah. I mean, I think we could do either way. I think next time, if you guys want us to be anonymous, let us know. And if you don't, don't. I think for the first one, just to protect people's privacy. Yeah, before we ask them all individually. I don't know what my mic is doing. Oh, no.

It's falling. Hold on. Oh, God. We'll get this figured out. I also can't tell if I'm like loud or not. You sound like me talking. You sound truly perfect. Okay. This is great. I was like really leaning back. Okay. You lean back, baby, and get buckle up for the best episode of your lives. Of your lives. Of your lives.

You get to know us on a little personal level. Yeah. See a little housekeeping things before we get into the questions. Claire, what do we now have? We have a Facebook page. Remember Facebook? Yeah. Seriously. I truly only use Facebook, though, for my Facebook pages that I'm a part of. Like what? Of other podcasts. Oh, yeah.

I know. I feel like I'm not like the biggest, like I never had the like One Direction posters or Justin Bieber posters like to fangirl in that way. But there are specific things that I like will fangirl about. And I like to dedicate my fandom to that. This is sweet. Please keep going. And then like, I feel like once I get excited about something like a podcast, I want to be in their fandom and like in the podcast groups. You never had like posters of celebrities in your room? No.

Yes, I did. Like, I definitely did. But it wasn't, that wasn't your main thing. No, I was like obsessed with like men more than like boys. Like I love Johnny Knoxville and like Usher and I'm trying to, Ashton Kutcher more than I liked like, I don't know, like Zack and Cody or something. I get it. In middle school, I told my mom that I thought that Woody Harrelson was sexual. Literally. And Ed Harris. That is for a different podcast. Looks at you and blinks. I mean, that's exactly how I was too.

55 year old man but hey but hey don't yuck our yums exactly and that is you know what that's going to be the quote for the newsletter yeah don't yuck our yums there we go quote of the week beautiful because we've been saying that a lot I love that Claire while you're at it if you want to sign up for our newsletter it comes out on Thursdays you can DM us on Instagram at right answers mostly or if you have our numbers but DM us and then send us your email and we'll add you to the list we like the thrill of it that's right

Well, that's about it for the updates. We are also going to be taking a spring break. A spring break. We're going to Cabo. I wish. In our minds. In our minds. Don't worry about it. We're not leaving you that long. It's just a couple weeks while we, you know, utilize our time wisely. Clean up shop. Exactly. Exactly. And then we will be back in Tann...

And gorgeous. We're really not going to Cabo, but again, in our minds. Yes. It's a metaphor for just, you know, that when we leave you guys, it's always to do better and be better for you. Pray your hands. There it is. And there it is. But we'll be back in no time and we can't wait. We cannot wait. We'll keep you updated, of course, with all the dates and everything on our Instagram. That's right. And there will be more trivia nights. That's coming soon in April. So look out for that. A lot to look forward to. But before spring break...

Shall we take some questions from our dear Rammies? Oh, double entendre. Like dear Rammies for us, but also our dear, our sweet little Rammies. Genius. We are smart. So smart. That was so clever.

I appreciate that because usually you have those ones. I don't think so. Yes, you do. No. Yes, you do. Hey. Hey. Hey. Well, this one was all yours and you guys are our dear Rammies. What's the question? The little angels. So we have, yeah, we have some good ones. We have, yeah, we have a handful. Good ones. Yes, on average. No, expect us to have like four. We have like 12. Okay. We have 12. Yeah, we can take our time with the answers. Exactly. Just really defensive. Yeah.

Do you want to take the first one, Tess? Yeah, well, Claire, shall we? Our first question, and I think this is a great way to start. Tell us more about the podcast and why you started it.

Do you want to take it away? If you have some inspiration, please begin. I believe it was after a park day and we were sitting in your living room and Tess, as you guys know, her passion is Titanic. And she, it's not a new thing for her to sit and talk about Titanic. Like she, this is a regular thing that she did. Yeah. And once we were on the subject of Titanic and we

Yeah. Was it? I don't know. We were high. We were a little tipsy and we were with Claire's boyfriend, Corey. And the initial idea was to do in our high state was just to do a podcast all about Titanic. It's like three-parter. I think that was Corey's idea, right? Called Titanic with Tess or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. And even me, I was like,

I don't know how the stamina for that is quite intense. It would be quite intense. And then I was like, well, Claire, like, because we were talking about doing something together. And I was like, well, you don't love Titanic that much. Like, I love it, but not with the passion. No. And so it felt too...

exclusive and too specific. But also Tess and I are like creative partners. If you did not know, we have done multiple short films and product advertising. I'm sure you can find those short films on YouTube or we got into LA shorts y'all. We did. And we used to do video content for a lot of female startups around LA. So we've been working together since end of 2017. Yeah. Since we, since we met.

So a podcast just seems like the next right step. And I never thought I would ever have a podcast. But here we are. No, never. And then you came over a couple nights later and then we just got so high and we wrote down everything that we found fascinating in history. And that was the original like Studio 54 was on your list. Dolly Parton was on my list. Salem Witch Trials. Trying to think. Obviously Titanic. Oh, can we reveal something to you guys?

There's actually two episodes that we've recorded that we've never released. Should we release the tapes? I'm so scared. Okay, so the first one we ever did... We just seem like babies then. I know. I'm like, oh, cute. I know. We did Prohibition. I did the research. I mean, you guys know my episodes are long anyways. Like pages and pages of notes on Prohibition. And we recorded it.

And then we recorded Titanic next. And when we listened to both of them back, we were like, I just feel like Titanic was already so much stronger. I mean, it was something I already knew so much about. Right. I had that passion. So I think it was a good first episode. But Prohibition was so good, too. I think you were hard on yourself about it. Oh, thanks. I mean, if you guys really want us to release it and we listen to it again, I mean, it's less work for me now. So...

We'll release that. And then also the other one we unreleased was Bonnie and Clyde. I think it'd be fun to do an unreleased episode. We'll do a poll. Yeah. Honestly, I think we should release Prohibition. The sound in Bonnie and Clyde was so bad. But if you guys want me to do that again, I have the notes from that still too. And we can rerecord that. But that one was tough. That's true.

That's true. I think prohibition, though. Who knows? Might be coming your way. Just saying. Just saying. So anyways, that's how. Did that answer your question? Yeah. That's how we started it. That's a little behind the scenes. Yeah. We chose history and pop culture because, well, history basically was always pop culture at one point. You know, we are pop culture queens. That is so true. And yeah, more memories to come. And we've never looked back. And we've never looked back. Oh.

And now we have you guys, and that's the best gift of all. It really is. We never thought we'd be here. Okay, number two. All right, dear Ammies, if you were stranded on an island and you could take one music album, one snack, one movie, one drink, one TV show, what would it be? I've been thinking about this. Same. So let's start with one music album.

Okay. So just to set some boundaries within this question, it's not so much like survival, right? It's not like don't have an answer. It's like, I'd bring a movie about how to survive in the wilderness. Okay. I just don't think that's fun when you play like that. Okay. Cause some people do and then it gets really competitive and it's like, oh, you brought a fucking power bar. I should have not, you know what I mean? Of course. Like I don't want to have to worry about, I just want like pure enjoyment. Okay. Gorgeous. Yeah. So what was the first one? Music album. The

Oh, God. It's so hard. I know. How do you choose? Okay. I'm going to really try not to say like eight different ones because I hate when people do that. Same. It's like we said one. Do you want me to go? Because I think I have. I'm panicking. So this is, again, like I'm just going to say this one and there's about five others I could also choose. But mine...

is Lorde, Pure Heroine. Her first album. It's such a good, every song is so good. That's why I chose it because every song is so good and I've listened to that album in its entirety so many times and I've just been like,

She was like 15 when she released it. And it just, there's some upbeat ones. There's some slow ones. I just think it's such a good album. That's gorgeous. Thank you. Oh my God. Okay. I'm just going to go with one of the three. It was my first instinct because I just got a record player. Yes. So it's been on my mind of what I'd want to listen to on a record player. And then I think that really speaks to like who you love and who you want to listen to forever almost. And I'd say Blue, Joni Mitchell. Yeah.

You know, that was in my top three. I know. That album. And what a, what a cool girl answer. Oh, thank you so much. But it's just, it's stunning. It would relax me on an island. It would make me feel inspired. It makes you think of my mom too. It makes me feel like, it actually makes me think of like all the important women in my life. Same. Joni Mitchell has that effect. Truly. God. Wow. That is such a good album. So good. Okay. What about a snack for you?

I was thinking about this today. Well, I'm always thinking about snacks. But a snack for my island. I'm just going to say first thing that comes to my mind, peanut butter pretzels because I've been eating those things left and right. The ones from Trader Joe's? They're so good. The Trader Joe's ratio to peanut butter pretzel is so good. Those remind me of going to your and Corey's house and I'm always just like, can I have

Because you can't just have like one. You can't just have 20. You have to have like the bag or nothing. I get it. I think I would do... And also, sorry, I'm aware that the salt would dry my mouth out immensely, but we're having fun. Guys, don't come for us. Okay, we said this wasn't survival. No, it's just enjoyment. I would do chips for sure. I love the crunch. Love the crunch. Addicted to the crunch, you could say. Same. Like a specific type of chips. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, maybe my OG salt and vinegar. So good. Even though that taste does get really intense after a while. And then your tongue feels like it's split in half. Yeah, your tongue really hurts. Or honey Dijon kettle chips. Yum. Okay, would you do kettle chips on both brands? Kettle's my favorite chip. Yeah, it's so good. It's like cooked right. Yeah. I love a tortilla chip. A hint of lime. This is where it just gets dangerous. Especially when you're high.

Exactly. It just could go on forever. Okay. So kettle, chip, either salt and vinegar or honey Dijon. Yeah. Great choices. Thank you. One movie. Ah.

This is one I haven't been able to have a clear answer with. I know. But I will say, just because I just watched it on the plane and I realized it will never not be good or funny to me. And I laughed. House of Gucci. Not House of Gucci. I'll talk about that later. Bridesmaids. That was definitely in my mind and heart while thinking about this question. It's just...

You laugh the same amount and it's like one of those plane movies where you're just like, your chest is just completely shaking because of how hard you're laughing. God. I think, but Bridesmaids was one of mine too. I think I would have to say Bridesmaids as well. I love that. It just feels so good every time. It's genius writing and like that's what happens when you get women in a comedy.

Most quotable female like ensemble movie of all time, I think. It's so good. I agree. I'll say it. I'll say it. Well, there's not that many, so. There's like three. So I would agree. But yeah, I love that movie. What about one TV show, Claire? We skipped drink. Oh shit, I did. One drink. Do you want to do a TV show? Let's do drink. Let's stay in order because we're going to get confused. Um.

Do we need to do fun or real? Like not even real like survival because I would say sparkling water. Me too. I'm a sparkling water addict. I was going to say sparkling water too. That might be a problematic thing to say. Sparkling water addict? I mean, at least it's hydrating you. I love sparkling water. Me too. What's your favorite brand?

Pellegrino. Oh, really? That's like my second. What's your first? Or third. It's my third. My first is Topo Chico. Oh, right. Then LaCroix. And then Pellegrino. No, not Pellegrino. I was saying Perrier. Oh. Pellegrino's my least favorite. Really? No, maybe in front of Canada Dry. I told you guys I love sparkling water. I didn't know you hated Pellegrino so much. No, it's fine. It's just the bubbles are a little wide. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I also, this is really douchey, but you know what, like, it really hits when you go to a fancy restaurant. Oh, Pellegrino? Voss. Oh, Voss? Like sparkling water? I don't know if I've had it that often to know. Yeah.

It's so good. Oh, wow. So good. No, it's the bottles, the glass. If you guys don't know, there's like long glass bottles with like a plastic top. I used to carry one in my backpack at school, but not a real Voss every time. But my dad would keep them and I'd refill them. But people thought that I would just have a new Voss every day. And they were like, you are a bitch. And I was like, no, no, no, it's reusable. It's tap water. See that girl with that glass water bottle?

Bitchy. It's such a crazy thing. I know, but like it kind of looks crazy probably in my backpack. No, it looked chic. Thank you. And I would have if I would have even known what Voss was. Oh, my God. Stick on here. My hand was empty at this point. I just knocked it on my computer. Thank God. We're all good. I have a second one here if I need it. Oh, OK. And then TV show. You know, you look like you know what yours is. I don't know. Mine is Truly Real Housewives. Oh, OK. Yeah.

Yes, I was going to say Real Housewives. Well, actually, I was going to clarify. Is it one season of one TV show or just one TV show? I asked the person. Okay. And he said one season. One. No, no, one. The series itself. Yes. Franchise. Oh.

Same with my Real Housewives. Yes. Because it's what we can watch a hundred times over and over and still find joy. And we do. And we have. Like I was recently on a journey with Vintage OC. Well, so also do you have to get specific in just one like location or can you do Real Housewives in general? Let's say to raise the stakes. Yeah. One location. What location? Beverly Hills or New York. Beverly Hills or New York. I don't know.

I don't know. That's tough. I would say Beverly Hills because at a certain point, I cannot stand Bethany being like the forefront of every story that it almost starts making me mad. Totally. I mean, New York has just gone down so down. And Beverly Hills is always comforting. It's always comforting. It's gone through its dips, but I feel like Beverly Hills is like the OG to me. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd have to say. And if we're on an island, it has more island vibe. It's so true. They go on better vacations. Yes. I mean, they go on the best vacations. Okay. I think I would agree with you.

Great with you. Real Size of Beverly Hills would be the one TV show I would bring. I love our same answers. Me too. Is anyone shocked? Yeah. Oh, also post on our Facebook page or DM us what your answers are to that. Yes. We'd love to know what everyone wants to bring with them. That's right. That's right. Okay. Question number three. Claire, dating in your 30s is the worst. Let's chat about it.

That Carrie Bradshaw and that horrific new show. I am Jay. Don't ever do that to yourself again. The most hated character on TV. It's so true. Oh, man. It's so true. They were a tough one. Really tough to handle. Yeah, but I couldn't stop watching. I know. Same. What they did to Miranda is unforgivable. That sex scene they had with Miranda was also unforgivable. I'm just like, what I mean by that is they made her so manic.

And poor Steve. Poor Steve. What they did to Steve was unforgivable, making him seem like he was a geriatric man. If you guys want us to do a bonus episode on recapping just like that, let us know. Because we will. Join us. We will. I'll rewatch it. This green screen in that was like, where was the budget? Horrendous. It was confusing and upsetting all around. But yeah, dating in your 30s. Claire, what do you think about dating in your 30s? Start bullying me.

I'm not yet 30. She's a baby. No, no, she's a woman. But I'm right around the corner. So I can imagine dating at any time I feel is really fun and really hard depending on where you are with yourself and like with your life. And yeah. Why do you think they said that dating in your 30s is the worst? Oh, yeah. I guess that would be this listener's experience. Dating in your 30s is the worst. Yeah.

tough because you put yourself out there and any disappointment that you get in life and anything is tough. Yeah. I think with specifically 30, you're like going through a little bit of a purgatory, if you will, with like dating in your twenties is more fun and it's filled with going out and drunken escapades and hooking up. And then I think you get to 30. I think people are like, fuck, in the next couple of years, I'm seeing people start to settle down.

That's what the thing is, is like, I mean, it's all, I'm 27 years old. It's all the same, like in this time period. No, truly. I didn't mean to bully you. I didn't take any offense to it at all. It is what it is. I'm just jealous. No.

No, not at all. But I just think like there are so many people getting married and having babies. Like that's just the phase of your life. And whether you want that or not, it makes you take a second and be like, is that what I should be doing right now? And then like you, you know, the answer is like either guess that's what I want or no, that's not what I want. You know, but it's just like no matter what your answer is with that, when you see everyone do it, it's like, it's a lot. Comparison is a thief of joy. It is.

And it's so hard, but you sometimes even question what you do want by going on Instagram. You're like, oh, I didn't think that having a baby right now sounds good. And then you see people living their, putting the best version of that life out there. And you're like, wait, maybe that does seem fun. It's confusing. Instagram is so tough. And I think it makes dating even harder. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd say like any advice about it is just don't sacrifice anything that you want. If you meet someone who has different desires or needs, like don't placate to that and just stay, stay very authentic and don't wait around. I agree. And also like,

Give yourself a little bit of grace and just try to have fun with it and like date for yourself, not dates like appease other people. Yes. You know, be like, is this actually what I want? You have to be ready and no one can force you to do it or else you're just going to you're not going to show up the best version of yourself. I agree. And also you don't have to show up the best version of yourself. Just like go, you know, form connections. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't.

There's a better one out there. That's right. Balls to the wall. What did Variety Jones say? Bringing it back to Silk Road, our episode two weeks ago. That's right. Balls to the walls, my friend. Balls to the walls. Variety Jones. Jonesy Jones Jones. That's right. That's dating your 30s. BJ? BJ. BJ. Oh, that's what the episode says about dating your 30s.

Oh, so all my friends. Oh God, this next question. I don't even know where to begin. How do you make money and not hate your job? Yeah. I don't know. When, once you let, once you know, you let us know. Yeah. You call us. Don't even DM us. Just straight, straight call us. That's an important answer. Yeah. Um,

I'd say what Claire and I have always done is we obviously have to make money. We've had a lot of different jobs and fields, mostly like entertainment or production. If you just focus on hating it, you're going to be miserable. So always do a passion project. Always have something on the side. I know that's a lot for people that work full time. Yeah. But you can do it. If like your life is not fulfilling and your work is tearing you down, everything's going to be okay.

Every Saturday morning, do something for three hours with a creative partner. Yeah. Or find anything that brings you joy and focus on that. I also think like I've had a lot of struggle with this because I do get paid often for jobs that aren't necessarily in my career field that I want. Yeah.

It's like not to make your job. I'm working on not letting my job be my identity as well. Being like, I am working this. So this is who I am and it's not where I want to be. Instead, like I'm trying to show up to every job that I have that I don't exactly love. Being like, I'm doing this for a paycheck. I know what it is. I'm getting my work done and then I'm going to go do what I love later. But this is not who I am. That is a beautiful answer of not letting it like completely destroy. Which is so hard. Parts of yourself that you love and that you're proud of because-

It's so funny that the first thing that we ask someone when we're meeting them at a party or on Bumble is, what do you do? Not, like, there's so many more interesting questions. Like, what are you passionate about? Should be the first thing. What fuels you? What makes you laugh? Yeah. All of those. Like, our jobs, guys, should not be something... And I have this imposter syndrome constantly. If I'm at an event and it's all these, like, high successful people with these big titles, I, like, completely shut down. Because...

It's what we think is our identity. And it's scary in that way. I'm just trying to not take that on. And if it is making you so miserable, and there are times where you just cannot see your way out of, you're never trapped anywhere. And that's so easy for me to say, but I have to remind myself that. We both do to each other. Yeah, we text each other that you are not trapped here. Just seeing it is like...

you just think a job is also your everything and that defines you. That is what's going to, it is not. Yeah. And there's always a way to get money in a different way. Yeah. And we have like, we have this space for you to like take what you need to do to figure that out. Yeah. And so it's like, if you have to continue working this job for a paycheck, like just try, yeah.

to not take it on as your identity, I guess. Yeah, I think that's the perfect answer. No, I really do. And also like, I will say that comes from a place of privilege for me being like, it always works out. So as I'm saying this, I'm now like, I can understand how you can feel trapped and like you can't miss a day and you can't take a month off and you can't take a week off in between jobs. So I'm speaking from my own, my own experience of all I can say is, is don't feel trapped. Yeah. And just try to find joy in something. Yeah. Yeah.

And make time. Yeah. For that joy. And we get you. We do. We've had since Claire and I met each other. This has been a big topic of conversation of supporting each other and not letting it completely destroy us. Yeah. But it's so funny because I read that question. I laughed out loud because I just I'm like, yep, I'm there. Yeah. Whoever this was, we're there for you, sweetheart. Always. Okay. This next one. Okay. Okay.

My girlfriend doesn't friend not platonic or not romantic romantic partner has been dating a guy for three years and they're about to get engaged. I think it's a huge mistake. Do I tell her? So her friend has been dating guy for three years and they're about to get engaged and she should when she's wondering if she should tell her.

I say no. Well, also, I was thinking about this question on the drive over here. And like, I wonder, and I would ask this listener for more clarification. Like, do you not like him because he's like annoying or do you not like him because he makes her life worse? Or like, you can tell...

Right, like is it toxic or is it just like a... He's so annoying. He says inappropriate things sometimes, you know. Well, here's the thing. I feel like when you tell a friend that there is no in-between almost if it's annoying or it's toxic because they're going to see that person in the same light. I think...

You can tell her if you know that there's probably an 80 to 95 percent chance that she will not want or that you guys will not be close anymore. You can tell her, but you know that then you have to give up that like intimacy in your platonic friendship. It'll be different. Yeah.

there's something it's just different. Well, I think you end up choosing your person. Even if it is your best girlfriend, you're like, fuck that. I think that we've, we just know that that happens. We've seen the movies. Well, it's cause you always see your partner in a different light than the way that other people see them. And they, you're going to have a relationship that's different than theirs. Yeah. And then you're going to feel like you can't talk to them. Um,

There's just that comfort and that ease that's gone. You feel like you have to change in front of them. Yeah. Around your partner. Yeah. I feel like it's like circumstantial on this one too. Like how toxic is the relationship? Have you voiced it before? Yeah. You know, ultimately I would say no though. Cause like it's their life at the end of the day and they're going to do what they want to do. That's true. But also I think you can have set your own boundaries. Totally. Of if this person, you know,

You're like, we're all adults at this point. If, you know, we're not 16 years old with our friends. If this person is making your life worse, your friend's partner, and you have to hang out with him or her all the time. Totally. You're allowed to be like, you know what? This isn't right for me. I feel drained and I feel like this is toxic for me or I feel...

uncomfortable and you're allowed to also step away from the relationship if that's just something that's like I agree not helping your life which is so hard to do with your friends but you gotta do what's best for you too just like they gotta do what's best for them exactly so like I just say know the risks but also you can have boundaries within that for yourself 100% I'm sorry that's happening that sucks it does suck there's nothing worse in that situation nothing worse and everyone will it will be the the tale's oldest time of do I say something it really does ugh

Good luck out there. Good luck. Oh, man. Okay. Dear Rammies. I like to say Dear Rammies. Say it. Say it. Dear Rammies. Cute. Some people say that telling the person you aren't interested in is the mature... Oh, this is like a whole email. Is this the...

This is the question. The question. Okay, yes. This came from our Gmail account that we've reminded you guys that we have. Yeah, if anyone just wants to say hey. We're here for you. Okay, so some people say that telling the person you aren't interested in is the mature thing to do. It will take care of their emotions and allow you to both carry on. But in the moment, it really isn't a nice feeling to let someone down or hurt their feelings. So basically her question is, is ghosting ever okay? Yeah.

Tell as old as time. I wonder what ghosting, there's always been people who will avoid any confrontations. Like, what did ghosting look like in the old days? Was it just like no shows? I think you just don't send a letter back, you know? Yeah, totally. Oh, God. You're waiting for like- That's even worse. You can't check where they are, see their location? No.

You have photos of liking on Instagram from other girls? I'm so glad they took away that feature. Oh, yeah. Same. That's terrifying. Sorry. I digress. Yeah. Yikes. Ghosting sucks.

Okay. I do think that there is a line. Yeah. Because as we were talking to this person a little bit more, they had revealed that they hadn't even met up yet, that they were texting through the – met on an app and then were just exchanged numbers. Oh, yeah. You can fucking ghost. Yeah, you can ghost because it's like that's even more awkward at this point to like, hey, listen –

I've decided that I don't want to talk to you anymore. It's like, I don't know. I also think that people of different generations will have varying opinions on this. I also think where you're at in your life and what you have done that you either think was a good choice or you regret has a lot to say. Hey, we've all been... I have been ghosted like flat out in all like the stereotypical ways. I also...

Have I ghosted someone? Probably. I think I have once. It's like, that's, I can't think of like a specific time, but I'm sure I did too. But I think at this point, if I would look back moving forward, just like a job interview, just like meeting anyone face to face for first time, it's,

If they text you back being like, want to meet up again or like, thanks for having a good night and you just don't say anything. I think it's just immature. I do too. That's my biggest thing about ghosting. It's like you just grow up and like have an uncomfortable moment for a second. I think tell everyone you don't have to get into it. And some people I think oversharing also is not necessary, but be like, I didn't feel the connection. Have a good rest of the night. It is what it is. Like, that's the thing. But like give someone the courtesy.

to do that. It's just manners, really. Yeah, it really is. And not being a little bitch. It's appalling at the lengths that people will go to when they ghost people. Appalling. And I think I have ghosted after a date or maybe two being like, well...

You know, it doesn't matter because we only went out twice. But then that person's probably even thinking about that for like weeks of being like, well, wait, what happened? And you don't want to do that to anyone. Yeah. Just give someone a little bit of closure. I agree. Yeah. So I agree. Yeah. Circumstantial. But I think, you know, use your judgment. Yeah. Use your heart and your like emotion. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Totally agree. Okay. Should you move across the country for someone you met three months ago? I'm going to say no, no matter what.

I will also say no.

I don't think you know a person at all in three months in any circumstance with really any situation, even if you're spending 24-7 with them. Especially at the beginning, like hormones are racing and you just like think the world of someone. It's like, let's let the dust settle a little bit. The quote honeymoon stage has been proven to last on average three to six months. And that's when you're like dopamine and endorphins go down like exponentially. Yeah.

Exponentially. So exponentially, honey. So keep that in mind. That little science makes your body feel insane things so that you have, that you want to procreate. Yeah. Wow. And then once it goes away, sometimes we've all been there, right? That six month mark. Yeah.

In six months, I've been there in a relationship where you're like everything you do. Oh, yeah. We've all been there. I mean, I have stories of stories of just like waking up one day next to someone. You're just like, what's happening? And once you look at them different, it's hard to go back. So I'd say wait another... If this is the love of your life and you'll be together for the rest of time, then you have all the time. All the time. All the time. I'd say give it a year. That's right. Same. Same. You're still getting to know someone after a year, you know? So just...

If it's going to be the rest of your life, you set it best test. And like you got all the time in the world. Also moving somewhere for someone when they don't have anything going on there, maybe a support system or a job opportunity. You will have a lot of pressure. Yeah. Or they will have a lot of pressure. Yeah. And also you will have a lot of pressure because you're moving somewhere completely new for not yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. So, you know, just think about that. Think about the things that could go wrong and then maybe, you know, evaluate. I love things that have turned into the, and just like that podcast. I was like, I love this. I'm going to be talking about science and emotions and facts of the human mind. Tess is like, has a glow around her. And everlasting trick of the can. Oh, man.

All right. Oh, that is funny. I'm so tempted to open this one. Oh, just do it, baby. Okay. That's two milligrams, right? Hey, right? It's like water. Number eight. Dear Rammies, if you were a Disneyland food or ride, what would you be? And please do a Disney episode. Oh, we might have a little something in store for you after spring break. That's right. Spring break at Disney. Oh, wow. I did that once.

That's fun for you. I'm growing to like Disney. Yeah, I know. I know. Sorry, I just got lost in the memories. I love Disney. I'm not a Disney adult, please. Sorry, if you are. What's a Disney adult? A Disney adult. It's like the adults who are like obsessed with Disney. That's not me. I'm obsessed. Like, I love going to Disneyland, but it's not like I'm like a nerd when I'm there.

I'm like cute. Also, I don't mean to offend any Disney adults out there. It's just, it's intense and it's, I just, me either. It's not, I'm not. It's not me, that's not me guys. Okay, but so I've only been to Disneyland once. So I'm going to think on my rides that I did there. No, I've been twice. But Tess will be the expert on this one. Okay. If I were a Disneyland food, I think I would be a, um, um,

What's it called? Corn dogs. Corn dog. I love corn dogs. Because it's like, it's fun. There's some layers to it. You might have like a little surprise once you get in there of like, oh, different than what I thought on the outside. Totally. God, it's delicious.

I like condiments. Oh, me too. I love, I'm a condiment gal. Just dip it in anything. Just dip you in anything. But I want one. Me too. I always laugh because I think about when Emma, my friend Emma and I were at Bonnaroo and we were like 19 years old. I was just tapping like every person on, in lines on the shoulder being like, is this a line for the corndogs? They're like, shut up.

I can't believe you were at Bonnaroo. I always am like, that's so sexual that you did that. It's so funny because usually people go to festivals and groups and it's truly just Emma and me and it's tense, but we did not play in at all. So we literally slept on the ground. That's so cute. Did you guys smoke weed? I did smoke weed for like one of the first times in my life. Oh yeah. It was right before Hozier. And then I was like, God, we have been waiting forever. And it'd been like three minutes. Yeah.

Cute. I think I have a sunburn scar on my back still from Bonnaroo. Wear your sunscreen, guys. Wear your sunscreen. SPF matters. That's right. It does. It does. What was the question? Oh, right. Food. You'd be a corn dog. I think I'd be a corn dog. And the ride...

Maybe just in terms of like, because I have a fear of drops and roller coasters. So I was thinking about this in the car and I did make myself laugh that I was like, maybe I'd be Pirates of the Caribbean because it's pretty smooth sailing except it has one drastic drop. So sometimes I'm just like,

kind of even keeled and then they'll just come out of nowhere and just really have rage. Keeps it interesting. Keeps it interesting, honey. I have been on Pirates of the Caribbean. I do remember that. Fun, classic. There's like a restaurant in there, right? Yeah, the Badoob.

Bayou? The bayou. The bayou. And it's all dark and there's little lights and fireflies. So it's like New Orleans feeling. And I love New Orleans. Me too. Oh, wow. That sounds, that's a great ride. Oh, but fuck. I'm like not even like connected to New Orleans. Maybe I should do California Adventure because I'm California. Spiral. Just like, fuck. I feel like being high at Disneyland would either be the best experience or the scariest.

I still never. Hannah and I. Yeah. Hannah and I always just drink because we get really excited and it's a little bit more. We're not never sure how that's going to like the weed will react. Totally. That's like why I would be a little nervous. Because waiting. It's fun. And when you think about it, but then think about waiting in a line for an hour. That's what I'm saying. Like when I thought that it was forever, it's only five minutes. And I think you get tired. You know, like when you smoke, you just get like groggy and tired after like the peak. And you don't want that. No, you don't want that. No. Good idea. Or bad idea. Yeah. Bad idea. Bad idea. Bad guy. Bad guy.

That was such a good Jagger. If you watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know. Always gets back to Bravo. What would you be? What the hell would you be? Hmm. I don't...

Maybe that ice cream shape, Mickey ice cream. Cute. Because I just remember watching Disney World commercials when I was young and just seeing that. More than the rides, I was like, I want that ice cream bar. So refreshing. So refreshing. I can be cold. No, baby. But mushy on the outside. Or on the inside, it's not mushy on the outside.

That's sweet. But I don't, or pretzel, just because I love pretzels. I know, I know. Again, just like want to go off about food. I can't even think about it. But I think that Hannah will create a good answer for both of us. She will. And maybe we'll agree our friend Hannah is the one who goes to Disneyland with us. And then ride, I don't know.

All right, Rammies, who's tired? Who needs a break? Whether you're taking care of your kids, you know we love our Rammie moms, a senior loved one, or juggling both, God bless, we all need and deserve a break sometimes. Care.com can help give you that break by helping you find trusted caregivers in your neighborhood.

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Rammies, I'm going to let you in on a little secret, and I'm going to say something that you probably have never heard a soon-to-be bride say, and that is that I love wedding planning. I have had such an amazing, fun, light experience doing it with my fiance, and that is a huge thanks to Zola. So with Zola, you can plan your entire wedding in one convenient place.

You guys, they have everything. So from like the day you get engaged, you can start planning on Zola. You can find the venue there. You can create your save the dates. You can make your registry. You can make your wedding website. Even to the final stages of tasting your cake, Zola has everything.

everything you need to make this process super easy and fun. And this should just be a pleasurable experience that you get to share with someone you love. And I'm really appreciative that Zola has just let us do that. There's even a five-star app that helps you plan on the go on your couch. So if you and your future husband or wife are watching a movie, having a glass of wine, plan

your wedding from the couch. Do it wherever you want because this is all about you. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to start planning at Zola.com. That's Z-O-L-A.com. You can thank me later.

You might be Thunder Mountain Railroad. Oh, I like that. Yeah, because you're spunky, you're fun, you're southern. Prairie chic. Prairie chic, western. Yep. Oh my gosh, I've never been on that ride that I would love to go. It's so fun. Okay, perfect. I'll take it. Love it. Hannah, let us know your thoughts and feelings. That's right. That's right. Okay. Dear Rammies. Okay, question. Kind of silly, kind of serious. That's our brand. That's our brand.

I love this question. I love it. Why does it keep getting better and better?

I read it. I'm like also getting higher and higher. But the question is, do I name them or let these ladies roam nameless? This is. Well, I think this is the this is number one question. We love them all. But that is that's number one for sure. Well done. What do you think? Name them, honey. Let your heart feel joy. Is it better to have lost in love or to never have loved at all? Wow. There it is.

It is. Name them. Name them. They deserve a name while they're here. We don't know what life could bring us. And it probably makes them happy. And anything of like having a name, your connection with them will be stronger. And isn't that more worth it? I think that's the fear though. I know, but. It's worth it. I think it is. And I think you probably would think so too, if you're willing to even have the thought to name them again, you know?

Oh, wow. Yeah, you weren't like, I'd never do that again. You're conflicted. Yeah, you want to. And your husband's just trying to look out for you. I don't think he's like, you know, he just wants to protect you. But I think you should name them. And I know it's going to be painful. Can you name one, Ram? Oh.

Really? And we would come visit it. We'd take a photo with it. Wherever you live, we'll drive. I know where this one lives. Is it close? No. It's a close-up picture. It is, but we'd still go. Yeah, baby, you name those little sweethearts. I think so, too, and I can't wait to hear what you name them. Same. What a well-written question. Beautiful. Mm-hmm.

one. Dear Rammies, why do you say truly so much? Why do you say truly so much? Truly. We truly say truly. Truly? Yeah.

Truly. Oh, my God. We say it so many different ways. We say it. I truly went here. Like, truly. Truly. Yeah. It's just. Wow. We don't fucking know. We don't know. We discussed this on where this. Because we have a few different words. Maybe we'll have to do an episode on why we talk. Talk the way that we do. It's the long lineage of. Yeah, truly. Inspirations. Truly. Truly. Truly.

You guys know that we say before everything, after everything, in the middle of everything. And Tessa knows where that comes from. But truly, I don't know. It was when Claire and I started hanging out. Yeah. I didn't say it before I met her. I didn't say it before I met her. And I just don't fucking know. I can't remember. And I never knew it was like really a thing, except our dear editor, Chris. I used to work with Chris at a coffee shop. Shout out to Tuzu Game. R.I.P. R.I.P. And one day he was like, what?

He said something and then said truly. And I was like, do I say truly a lot? And he was like, yes, that's why I was saying that to you. Yeah. I don't know. I hope it comes to me because that's kind of going to bother me. What if we looked back in old videos from like... And found it? But I don't feel like it was a thing. Like when did it start?

I know. I don't know. It just came upon us one day and it's never left. Our answer is we don't know. We hope it doesn't bother you. I mean, if it does, you can say it. I don't think we can stop. That's the thing. If it does, I apologize, but we're not shaking it. No, we're not. I think it's physically impossible at this point. Same with like show. Show. Yeah, same. It's who we are. And we hope that you accept that. Yeah, that's all we can say. That's all we can say.

Okay, dear Rammies, how do you feel about the bachelor contestants, so the female bachelor contestants, not wanting the male bachelor, the bachelor, to have sex with the other female contestants? I think it's unrealistic.

It's like Sierra on Summer House right now. I know. Trying to be possessive. Again, bravo. I'm sorry if you don't watch these shows, but when are you going to start? You should. It's a good overlap. Yeah, absolutely. It's irrational. It's immature, I think. I would be jealous, but...

Take the jealousy out of it. Yeah. But that's also like, I think this is with real relationships too. I do think you have to come to a point where you have a discussion about exclusivity. And I think, I mean, also there is a time where it's like, obviously we're exclusive now, but I think there should be a conversation because otherwise I feel like it's all bets are off.

Yeah. It's like you don't, you know, it's so scary for women to ask what we are because you are then pinpointed as crazy and possessive. And I've had this conversation with like a lot of our friends and specifically a couple of my like female girlfriends, female girlfriends, single girlfriends. When I was single, of the fear of sending someone a text or about to make a call being like, hey, just wanted to...

ask, like, are you sleeping? My palms are sweating right now is how horrible it is. I guess I'm not like saying, are you sleeping with anyone else? But just being like checking in. Oh, I am saying to say it because I was scared for so long. And then you end up in situations where you're like, I was untrue to myself. Yeah. And like, you just can't assume anything. Yes. And if I were to go back, I'd just be like, hey, are we monogamous? Yeah. Yeah. Because if we're not, then like, good to know who I'm into. And if that's what you want, a lot of people don't care or don't want to be. But like,

I know it is scary to ask because you don't want to lose that person, but then you shouldn't. Then if you lose that person and you want to be monogamous and they don't, it's good to know now. And there's also nothing worse than going through a weekend when you haven't gotten a text being like, is he out there right now hooking up with other girls? And then of course he'll call you on a Sunday being like, let's hang out. And you want to ask so badly, well, what were you doing last night that you didn't want to hang out with me on Saturday? Totally. Totally. Just watching like a movie I feel like happened in front of me.

It's so true, though. I have a lot of feelings about that. No, but it's so true. So I think that if Bachelor contestants don't want The Bachelor to have sex with other girls, then you're on the wrong show. Yeah. Don't go on that show. Don't go on that show unless you want to become an influencer, which everyone does these days. Then it's good for you and enjoy your journey. Don't go on that show for love. No. Or do. I don't care. Have you ever been like, I would have fallen in love with a contestant or with a Bachelor? Mm-hmm.

I thought that when Peter was on, he was really cute. And then he turned out to be such a weirdo, I feel. I know. I felt this way with Ben Higgins. Ben Higgins? I started, I watched at the very beginning when The Bachelor first came on in like 2000. And my mom was like, you cannot watch this show. And I found a way. Wait, Ben Higgins was like 2006? Right. Oh. If you would let me. Oh, yeah.

watch like two years and then I took a break until JoJo's season of The Bachelorette and then I watched again so I missed Ben Higgins oh when him and Vanessa were falling in love I literally felt like really invested in it like Vanessa? mmm oh but not the Vanessa from Nick Vial's season okay they never fell in love oh Nick no I

Nick, I also kind of had feelings for. I get it. And I feel like he really redeemed himself. He did. Him and Vanessa were very sexual together. Yeah. I saw them at Ralph's once. When they were throwing up on the, he took her into a. Oh, the air thing. The air thing. And they're just barfing on the first date. Then they're making out.

God, it would be horrible. Not smart, Nick. No, I've also stopped watching The Bachelor because I've just got bored. I haven't watched it for two years. Even in COVID, I was like, I can't do it. I watched a little bit in COVID and then I was like, I can't. Any show that is very clearly COVID, except for The Housewives, but they do a pretty good job skirting around that. Yeah. I can't watch. I agree. So. I agree. I agree.

All right. Number 12. Dear... Are you guys still with us? Yeah. Let's hope so. Number 12. Dear Rammies, show emotions or play hard to get? I think I automatically want to be like, show emotions, be bold about who you are, obviously. But also like playing cat and mouse can be fun. But don't do it to like an annoying phase. Like don't do it where it starts like messing with people's emotions. Yeah. Like I think when you first start dating, it can be fun not to respond to a text in the first second you get it. Yeah.

You know, and being a little like, oh, I'm not. But then I'm also like. But also like just go for it and like love yourself. What if you loved and not worrying about the way they were like judging you? I would have to say show emotions just because I did hard to get for so long. And that always made me feel really like unfulfilled. Yeah. I think what I'm saying hard to get, I'm just imagining a flirting style that's like coy. And it's like, yeah, obviously, but that's not playing hard to get. That's flirting. Right. Like show emotions with still being flirty. Yeah. And I'm also like just telling you guys how to flirt and like, who am I? Yeah.

Well, my flirting style used to be really like sarcastic. What is your flirt? I'm trying to think. It's like a little bit. And then it's a little more like not putting people down. I think if someone's doing that to me, I can quickly kind of get on that. But I think it's a little. You like to spar. Yeah, yeah. But then I read something that was like that's if you're doing that, you're like protecting. It's like a protect mechanism because everything has to be like protected.

Sarcasm. I think if everything has to be, then maybe. But like if it's just fun. That's true. That is true. Yeah. I think I like a little back and forth, a little spice, like a little tennis match almost, if you will. That's exactly how you flirt. Yeah. I've seen it. She sure has. I've seen it. How do you flirt? Because I've never seen you single before. Crazy.

think I flirt like in a similar way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Is anyone out there that I flirted with? I mean, I can visualize you like platonically flirting with people because like we I think we both have flirty like personalities where we're just so I can see like you flirting with friends almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flirting and flirting with family. Arkansas. Flirting with family. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the way that I flirt too. I think

I think it's like tennis match as well, but not like too much. Like you're like, you're like the cool girl when you flirt.

I'm rolling my eyes. No, but you're literally like, like someone's like, like I've seen it. I've seen it happen when people are like hitting on you at like at a party when you're trying to be nice, but you're like shutting them down, but kind of in a witty way. Wow. You are just lifting me up right now. No, but I'm just, I just had this, this vision of you at Winston when those guys came up to you in the hats and they were really feeling you and you were like,

Just shutting them down, but I was like, she's still being cool about it. That's so nice. I was like, damn, that's hot. I think that I'm not that. I think that's because there was no stakes in it. I feel like when there's stakes in the game, I'm not cool. Well, hey, that's for all of us, right? Ain't that the truth. But still show your emotions. Yeah, show your emotions because like no one has time for it. Truly? Yeah. I regret even being like, but no, show your emotions. Always. I don't know who I was back there. It's okay. It's okay.

Yes, we have another one. Name your favorite movie with a horse in it. That's a good question, actually. Minds Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken. He asked that, the person who asked that, actually, today. I was like, that's such a weird question. I was like, I know exactly which one Tessa's going to be. Yep. What's yours? Can I guess? God, there's so many movies, if you think about it, with a horse in it. Do you love The Horse Whisperer?

I've never seen it. Oh, Claire, it's such a good movie. What is it? It's Robert Redford's Scarlett Johansson. Say no more. Oh. Oh, you would love it. It's beautiful. I would love to. What is it? It was nominated for Show Me Things. Someone who can, like, talk to a horse? Yeah. Google's plot. This is the best movie ever. Google's plot. I mean, wait, I said Robert Redford, right? Yeah. Chris and Scott Thomas. It's based on a novel. Yeah.

And Scarlett Johansson is traumatized by riding an accident that badly injures her. So her mother, a high-powered New York magazine editor, realizes that Grace will only recover when the horse is healed. So she sends her to this ranch with Robert Redford. And they start this, like, relationship of, like, him helping because he is the horse whisperer. Oh, my God. And then also there's a little shot with her mom and Robert Redford. I thought you were about to say Scarlett Johansson. I was like, Hollywood is so messed up. I'm smiling as I say it.

Oh, but you would love it. It's such a gorgeous film. That sounds gorgeous. But what's your favorite one? I've been thinking forever. I'm going to do a play on a horse and say Hercules with Pegasus. Cute. That is cute. You do love Hercules. I love Hercules. I don't know. It's just such an underrated Disney movie. I like that. There's going to be so many. And I actually love horses. There's going to be so many movies that I'm going to be like, why didn't I say that? Yeah. On the drive home. Yeah. Just me thinking about horse movies for the rest of the night.

As one does. As one does. Pirate texted me again. Sorry, guys. Our studio is obsessed with us. Pirate Studios. Knock, knock. If you know, you know. You know. Yeah.

But yeah, those are all the questions that we got. So I hope, I wonder what you guys, are you guys vibing with this or you're not loving it? Are you liking the love questions? Are you liking the random questions? Yeah. Cause if we will, if you like it, wherever we'll sail, wherever you, you, the wind takes us. Yeah. And we could get more specific if you want, or we'll never do it again. If you know, we'll put a little pull up maybe in the next couple of weeks when I,

And just see what you guys are thinking. Yes. But also, if you go to our Facebook page, you could say like, hey, I want to follow up on this question and like start talking. Is that your foot? Towards the end of the episode.

I just started stroking her. I love it. Yeah. I didn't stop it. No. Thank God. Yeah, thank God. But, you know, you can discuss it further on the Facebook page. So, yeah, join that. I think you could just look up Write Answers Mostly on Facebook and then you'll see the page. Yeah, look us up wherever. Like I said, we'll announce when we're going to be back, but it won't be for long. Just a couple of weeks.

It's always send in on our email or post on our Facebook page. I'm obsessed with Facebook. Claire loves Facebook. Claire is Mark Zuckerberg. I am. I'm an alien. But what subjects you want to. Yeah, please do. And, um,

Yeah, we're going to have so much fun stuff in April, you guys. I know. I'm looking forward to April. And we're going to be doing some limited edition merch that will be first come, first serve. And it's not going to be like the other ones. Okay, guys, let's just sit in there. Still sitting there. Still sitting in my trunk, honestly, if we're going to be frank.

But you can still purchase those at rightanswersmostly.com. You can. We do need to update the stock of what sizes we've given to people. Oh, yeah. We've just been giving them out willy-nilly. Take it. But that's a discussion for offline. That's right. Sorry. We don't mean to bring our children into this. Oh, we love you guys. Oh, we love you. Oh, and go pick up a can of can. Go do it. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. Have a safe spring break. That's right. Party on. Party on. And we'll see you after Cabo. See you later, tits.