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Claire, what the hell are we talking about today? Wild Tess, today we are talking about none other than Wallace Simpson. Do you know who this lady is? Literally, no. I don't know anything besides what you have told me. And so I know that like she was a socialite who married into the royal family.
And I know that people were not kind. No, absolutely not. And she perhaps wasn't pretty. Okay. We'll talk about her looks, but of course, or that people did not perceive her as pretty. Therefore taking away her, you know, worth, worth. There's lots of world looking for. I was like, what's that thing that everyone takes away from us at some point?
Oh, yeah. As a woman? Yeah, of course. It's our worth. Yeah, that's all right. I feel like I've heard of Wallace before. And then you watched the first two seasons of The Crown, right? No. Oh, you didn't? I only watched the pilot because someone told me it has a Titanic mention in it. Wait. Wait. You never watched The Crown? Oh, no. I came down to Abbey. Oh. Did I watch The Crown? No.
That it's crazy to me that you would, I mean, I've only watched, I think the first two seasons and then I fell off because I do that with every show. I feel like, why can't I think of there? I feel like I've watched like specific episodes before. Like I watched like some of the Diana episodes. Yeah. Or,
But not really. Not really. You need to go back and watch. I mean, I need to pick it up too. At some point, it does get kind of boring, I think. That's what people say. Yeah. Yeah. But Wallace Simpson and Prince Edward, they are on episodes of The Crown. So if you guys have watched The Crown, you might be kind of familiar with her. Okay. So I really first heard about her. My friend Jensen, I feel like once someone finds out about her podcast, they have a subject that you're like, you have to do this.
Yes. And this was Jensen's. It's Wallace Simpson. She was like, she's misunderstood all of this. So I started looking into it. And this is like one of my most surprising research processes. Like I thought I knew the story and I did not. And like she, Wallace is such an example of both of these things can be true. Well, then buckle up buttercup. Buckle up buttercup.
The internet comes for us when we cover someone like that. God, I know. She's complicated. So let's get into this crazy woman. Actually, I wouldn't say that. Let's get into this crazy. Here I am. Here I am. I'm part of the problem. Let's get into this crazy bitch, Walls. Crazy is fun. Crazy is good. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so my sources, of course, with stories like this, always town and country.
It's wealth. It's our rich aunt. Yeah, 100%. Exactly. The doc, the heartbreak behind the marriage of King Edward and Wallace Simpson, our mother, history.com, our stepfather, Wikipedia, ChatGPT. Love that ChatGPT is coming in stronger these days. No, once you said that you start using ChatGPT for some research, I was like, not a bad idea. It's just nice because it's like if you have to be like, hey, what –
who was, what did you do with this? Like, it's just, it gathers everything. And this is why chat GPT gets dangerous because not only does it gather everything, it's like, oh my God, that's, it knows how to talk to me. It talks to me like in Ram terms, which it's like, you want to know something even juicier. And then I'm like, yes, she was being like very sassy and like a feminist queen. I was asking her about some Megan Markle questions. She's like, you know, it was unfair. You know, it was fucked up. Like essentially she was like,
And I was like, oh my God, you're really like speaking like one of the girlies. I know. God, once ChatGBT does completely ruin the world, we will reference this episode. Yes, we will. Yes. And then to round out my sources, the podcast, it's called The Rex Factor. Rexy?
Essentially, I dog sit a dog named Rex and I was like, it's his podcast, Rexington. That's what he does when he's home alone. Every dog has, you know, every dog has a life that we don't know. Of course, Secret Life of Pets. Exactly. I made a movie about it. All right, Tess. So Wallace Simpson was one of the most vilified women of the 20th century. And that's true. Wow. So let's get into it. Okay. Okay.
Wallace Simpson was actually born Bessie Wallace Warfield. Do you want to try to guess her sign? It's hard when you don't know anything about them. Oh, okay. A shot in the dark. Aries? No. Aquarius? We're going more on an air sign. Both of these things can be true. She's a Gemini. Oh, okay, okay. Which totally makes sense to me. She was born on June 19, 1896. She was like...
No. This is like old days. Damn. For some reason, I was like, she's in the 1950s. Well, she was. She was just older. Right, right. Yes. She was still there, though. But yeah, so she was born Bessie, but like, and she went by the name Bessie until she was a teenager. And then I think she was like, this name is not hot. But my middle name, Wallace, is like kind of hot for a girl. You can only be named Bessie if you look like a supermodel.
A hundred percent. No, a hundred. Unless you look like a supermodel or unless you are 85 years old. Yes. I wouldn't want to be named Bessie. I would not be named Bessie. A teenage girl named Bessie just does not work. So she was like, drop the Bessie. Let's keep the Wallace. And she grew up in Baltimore, Maryland. She comes from a very well-bred American family. Her father was the son of a successful flower merchant. And her mother was the daughter of a stockbroker.
Rich. Rich bitch. But shortly after Wallace was born, three months later, her dad died. Can you guess what he died from? Tuberculosis? Yes! Classic. Sorry to say.
Always. I was like, I know Tessa's going to get this. It's always tuberculosis. Everyone and their dog was dying from tuberculosis back then. So her dad does die of tuberculosis. And they were rich. But a single mom in the 1800s, I don't think he left them a ton of wealth. And it's like, we don't treat single moms well now in 2025. You think a single mom could survive back then? I can only imagine. Yeah. So they had to depend on their...
on Wallace's uncle who was her dad's brother but he was just like a piece of shit he was like very difficult he was a bachelor and he was demanding and so he would give them an allowance but he would like I think I saw a source say that he hit on Wallace's mom like hit on her not hit her but like came on to her and Wallace's mom is like not interested and he's like well you don't get your allowance this month then yeah and then he would also like that's her brother-in-law
Yes. She was like, I'm literally, Oh my God. So much of this is just like such a different time. Um, and then he would also be like, okay, here's your allowance this month, but I want to see everything you spend it on. And then he would like shame them for what they spent it on. So he just sucked. Gross. Yeah. But from this, she did get like amazing clothes and she had like great nannies growing up. And so, so for Wallace, it wasn't as bad. Her mom's like, I hate it here. Um,
And she's like, I am a fashion girly because of it. And also thanks to her uncle, he paid for her to attend Oldfield School, which was the most expensive girls school in Maryland. Tess, in 1912, Old School's boarding school charged $46,500 for tuition, which today would be over $1.5 million. Wow.
I was literally going to be like, that's how much expensive schools are in LA. Like 50,000 a year now. Now. And it's like, I think- What were they doing at the school?
Like, nothing. She even, like, this is so relatable. She, like, hated math and algebra. And so her mom wrote her a letter being, like, she gets the hives when she, like, has to do math so she really shouldn't do it. And they're like, okay. It's like, you're paying $1.5 million for someone to, like, skip class. Hey, I love that. I mean, I love that, too. I'm like, if you're paying that much money, I'd be like, I don't want to take math, science, math.
Chemistry. 100%. I'm going to do whatever I want. You're so much P.E. No, no P.E. We are not doing the president's test if I'm paying $1.5 million. Watch me sit here and not move my body. Same. It's just so crazy. And I know that the dollar, it doesn't quite translate anymore because our economy is also so fucked up these days. Oh, is it?
Oh, yeah. I said it. That's right. I said it. But the tariffs. But the tariffs. But it was expensive. And it's at the school that she made a lot of friends with, like, the high-class people, like the heiress. Listen to this name test. Renee DuPont. That is so, so chic. So chic. All the names in the story, I'm just like, oh, my God. So Renee DuPont was her family founded Kirk Silverware.
I don't know. She's a Costco queen. She was a Costco heiress. No, Kirk silverware. I don't even know what that was, but I think it's just like really fancy silver. Amazing. Amazing. So she is like getting in with the right, right crowd. She's very popular. She led the class in academics and sports. She did horseback riding and tennis and all of the above.
She was described as very cheerful and considerate of others. And this is like also where she's developing her sense of style. She would wear men's shirts and bow ties with long skirts. Oh my God. We were just talking about how much we love menswear and like the Ralph Lauren menswear with like women in like ties and blazers and just so chic. So chic. I truly do think that like style and taste, like you can refine it, but I do think it's something you're born with. I do.
You know? And Wallace had it. Yeah? Wallace had it. She was very popular and, like, very nice. But as we discussed before, we will see this for the rest of her life, people just kept talking about how she was not pretty. You're not very pretty. Yeah.
And you're not very bright. That's so mean. But also, I was shocked about this. Okay, well, this is what a quote said. Though Wallace's jaw was too heavy for her to be counted beautiful, her fine violet blue eyes and petite figure, quick wit, vitality, and capacity for total concentration on her interlocutor. I don't know what that means. I'm not very bright. Ensured that she had many admirers. Here's the thing. I've seen a photo of her and like she would be
gorgeous today. You know what I mean? I don't think that she's that hideous. I wasn't like, oh my God, I think you're so attractive. But at the same time, like she looks like she could be like Meryl Streep's daughter or something that has like a very interesting, unique face. And it's like, it's just annoying because it's like beauty is always trending. It's like, it's annoying. Exactly. And that's what I said. Like when you bring up Meryl Streep, I think about the Richards sister, Kyle Richards, Kathy Hilton, Kim Richards. They all look like they could be in the same family. It's like the long,
nose and the high cheekbones and like kind of the smaller eyes. But it's like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ain't that the truth. But it's like everyone needed to mention, but Wallace wasn't that pretty. And it's like, okay, thank you guys so much for that. We'll end up working out for her. Yes. Didn't matter. So she graduates high school and it was never even like a thought that she was going to go to college because it's like women at that status back then didn't. If you're rich, you didn't need to go. Well, and it's like. I wanted to go.
But great question. She did not want to go. Yeah. Go on. Do your thing. It's like her job was to find a really rich man. So her uncle gives her enough money to get started on a season because back then it's very like Bridgerton, like seasoned society where the debutantes go out and
And they're like being courted, which is just so crazy that that was happening like the early 1900s. I know. You know? So he gives her like a chunk of money to be like, you can go to these parties. You can like get maybe like a new dress and all of that stuff. So she starts out with prom at Princeton. That was like her first kind of coming out thing. That is horrible.
I love it. I know. Just like live in this world for the rest of this episode. Living in it. Yeah. And then she is just off. She's going to luncheons and teas, dances and football games. She is like out and about to see and be seen. But she wasn't as rich as everyone else. Like her mom would be the ones like if her uncle brought her a new dress, her mom would have to like remake that dress a few times so that it would look different. But she couldn't like afford to have a new dress at every ball. Right. Right.
So she's like really struggling. And the big event was the debutante ball in Baltimore called the Bachelor's Cotillion. And so many wanted to go, but only 47 debutantes got invited. And Wallace was one of the lucky few. Damn. How do they choose who's invited? Like he was like out and about.
Who's out and about, who's hot, who's like fun to be around, who's classy, who has like where your family is. I mean, it's all bullshit. Yeah, yeah. But God, is it fun. I mean, that's like a whole culture I can't even imagine. But you know what's crazy? It's like it's still happening. Like Apple –
Martin, yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter was just at that huge debutante ball in Paris that I didn't even know about. I didn't know about that either. Those videos I watched over and over because I was just like, God, she seems so mean to the other girls. I mean, I – the thing is, though, it's like if you're at that debutante ball, like, yeah, your mom's Gwyneth Paltrow, but, like, someone else's parents is, like, a multi-billionaire. Truly. Or it could be, like, the princess of some country. Exactly. So it's just kind of like all of them. It's not a safety place to go. Yeah.
I would not want to go. I wouldn't either. It would be really scary. Yeah. But just crazy that that still exists. And so Wallace is officially out in society. She has some bows, some boyfriends, but there's not a lot of touchy-touchy going on. They're just courting each other. And her friend said that Wallace was so sophisticated that she made the rest of us feel like clumsy schoolgirls. Oh.
So she had an elegance to her. She had elegance, honey, for sure. And then she's visiting her family in Florida in April of 1916. And this is where she meets Earl Winfield Spencer Jr. Again, the names are great, except for Earl. Goodbye, Earl. Wow. Very appropriate. Actually, that's some foreshadowing to us. So Earl Winfield Spencer Jr., he was a U.S. Navy aviator, Navy aviator.
They meet in April. They get married in November. Oh, shit. Of that year. She's 19 years old. She's still, like, that's still young for even at the time. How old is he? That's actually a great question. I don't think it was, like, a huge age difference. Oh, okay. But she did get married young and fast because...
She did want like a form of financial security for herself and for her mom because she's like, then I can like kind of take the pressure off of my mom by taking care of me. So yeah, I wouldn't say it was exactly for love. And then on their honeymoon, she figures out or she discovers that he's an alcoholic.
on so like trying to have a nice time and then you're like have you had 45 drinks today like yeah I have and she was like super sheltered like she didn't grow up drinking or anything like that so it was like so tough a complete shock and like part of the reason he was an alcoholic I mean I'm sure there was a lot of factors but it was because he was a pilot which is like a super stressful job back then I mean this is 1916 like flying is fairly new yeah wasn't that is
Isn't that like a stereotype, especially back in the day that all pilots were alcoholics? Weren't we just talking about this somewhere? Yes. I think we talked about it on an episode before because we've also talked about like the movie Flight with Denzel Washington. Oh, still have never seen. Oh, it's so good. I know. But like tough. But I love an airplane movie. Yeah. Oh, you would love it then. Yeah. But I think that they were super stressed. There was like constantly plane crashes. Well, probably because they were drunk also. But like. I was like, no, there's a plane crash every time I try to get up there.
It's like, I can't see straight, but I have no idea what's going on. Um, well, and computers actually like ran planes. Exactly. And they're like, just trying to figure this all out on the go. And he felt like very responsible for all of this. And so Wallace like develops a extreme fear of flying because she saw like two crashes in one week. Earl crashed his plane at one point. So it was just like tough, scary, scary, scary. Um, like what's going on right now. Yeah. Yeah.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. But he just sucked, Earl did. He was abusive in every sense of the word, physically, emotionally, mentally. He would just leave her at parties without telling her. He would lock her in the bathroom all day long and then leave the house. Oh, my God. He sucked. And then he was physically abusive, too.
So she's like, enough of this shit. And so she starts having an affair with an Argentinian diplomat, Felipe de Espel. Good for her. Yeah. So she's going to go get hers. But then they do fizzle out a little bit. Wallace and Earl end up moving to England in the late 20s. And this is where she is introduced to Ernest Aldrich Simpson. Simpson. A little foreshadowing. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.
No, it always has to go back to Jessica. We've just been talking about her so much today. Well, of course. She's in our hearts. Yeah. She's introduced to Ernest Simpson and his wife, Doris.
And Ernest was a shipping executive and former officer and the cold stream, cold stream guards. Um, he was half British, half American, hot. Oh, what was it? British accent. I think he probably had a British accent. I mean, if you're half British and half American and you don't speak with a British accent, even if it's, what are you doing? Yeah. Fake it. Come on. Like, what are you doing? So Ernest and Doris, uh, Wallace starts hanging out with both of them. And then,
she starts just having some solo time with Ernest. Work management platforms. Ugh. Endless onboarding, IT bottlenecks, admin requests. But what if things were different? We found love.
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College holds a mythic place in American culture, embodying both its highest ideals and deepest flaws. The higher-ups are concerned about one thing, and that is avoiding scandal. I'm Margo Gray. On the new podcast, Campus Files, we cover college scandals and explore what these stories reveal about us. Listen to and follow Campus Files, an Odyssey original podcast, available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, it's Cassie. And I'm Danielle. And we're the hosts of Watch Her Cook, a podcast where we celebrate women who aren't just following the rules, but rewriting them. Watch Her Cook is about sharing stories of women throughout history who stepped up, faced impossible odds, and showed the world that their skills, intelligence, and aspirations go far beyond domestic duties.
Join us every week to learn about the lives of women who faced the odds and changed history. Subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We can't wait to share these stories with you. Just a reminder, empowered women empower the world. Now let's go cook. But she did. Yeah. So she's... And then Wallace is like, okay...
I'm officially done with Earl. I'm going to, why would I stay in an abusive marriage, which is actually really, um, progressive for the time. Yeah.
So much so, like an example of that, she tells her mom and her uncle that she wants to divorce Earl. And they know that he's being abusive to her. And they're like, if you divorce him, you will bring the biggest shame on this family. And her uncle is like, if you divorce him, I will not leave you any inheritance. Crazy. I mean, divorce used to be so taboo. And also all of these mothers are probably like, well, I endured it from your father.
So you have to, it's generational trauma. It's truly is. But like Wallace was like, whatever, I don't care. I'm taking a risk on it anyways. And so she does end up divert divorcing Earl and Ernest was like, okay, well if you left Earl, I'm going to leave Doris. They already hooked up. Yeah. They had been hooking up. Yeah. And that was like kind of the plan. Like I'm going to divorce my spouse and you divorce yours and then we'll get together. God, it never ends. Well, if you lose them, how you get them. Right.
Exactly. Wallace ends up telling her mom about Ernest, quote, I'm very fond of him and he's kind, which will be a contrast. I really feel tired of fighting the world alone and with no money. I mean, that's fair. You can blame a girl. Also like the saddest sentence ever being like, he's nice, which is new. And like, I want to be more rich. Yeah. Yeah. And who could blame her? So Ernest and Wallace, they get married on July 21st, 1928. She's 32 years old.
And like, she's an old hag getting married. You know what? That's like, I thought that like Wallace, like you were saying earlier was younger throughout her life throughout all these things, but they were very like 32 is not old, but like for the time, for the time, like I feel like everyone's getting married at like 19. I also kind of think like she's already divorced. So it's like people are already judging her for that anyways. So did she have like a,
Big second wedding? Or was she like, let's keep it chic because it's my second one? I cannot wait to show you her wedding dress to Ernest. It is so chic. It's so 20s. There's like feathers. It's gorgeous. Love. It's gorgeous. So yeah, I don't think Wallace ever wants to do anything small. Okay. Yeah. So it was definitely not chill. Good for her. Yeah. So they moved to London.
And their marriage gave Wallace a higher social standing in British society. And she settles in just fine. They move into a large flat in London. They have staff and she starts throwing parties. And she is like, everyone loved Wallace's parties because she was American. So she like did things a little different there. And they're like, she's so fun. She's the best host. She's the best host.
Oh, just like that again to live in this world. Oh my God. No kidding. She's like, here's a martini. I get used to it. So then in January or January 1931, she's 35 now at this point.
Ernest and Wallace were invited by one of their friends, Thelma Furness, or Lady Thelma Furness, for a hunting weekend. Now, Lady Thelma Furness was a Vanderbilt. She was also American, and her maiden name was Vanderbilt. In fact, Thelma Furness is Anderson Cooper's great-aunt.
I know. Isn't that crazy? Like really has so much lore to him. Yeah. If you guys didn't know, Anderson Cooper is a Vanderbilt. His mom is Gloria Vanderbilt. Best friends with Andy Cohen. It all goes back to Ram. It all goes back to Ram. It all goes back to Bravo. It's,
crazy. So she invites them for a hunting weekend. Um, and then the, a typical like country weekend for these English people, it's just a party where they do go hunting, they drink, they schmooze and they stay at like an estate all weekend together. Oh,
God, it's what Princess Diana actually hated. Yes, which like I love being outdoors and drinking, but like I don't need to hunt. No, I'm good to stay home when everyone else is doing that. Same. I would love to be on the ground. Yeah, with the dogs. Oh my God, with like a Pisco Sour. Yes. Walking around like a little like... In tweed. Oh my God, I love that. So who else is at this country weekend but Prince Edward? Yes.
And Prince Edward was there because Lady Furness was his mistress. So Anderson Cooper's great aunt was Prince Edward's mistress. Crazy. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Your family lore, like that's just – we need to get Anderson Cooper on RAM. Easy. Done. Easy. We'll just call him. Yeah. So that's crazy. So Edward –
He was 37 years old at the time. He's the eldest son of six kids of King George V and Queen Mary, and he is the heir apparent to the British throne. So, okay, now also to put this all in RAM historical context, okay? So King Edward's dad, King George, was the grandson to Queen Victoria, right?
So King Edward's great-grandma was Queen Victoria. Okay. And Edward's cousin, direct cousin, was Tsar Nicholas Romanoff. Wow. Yes. And isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Actually, I think, sorry, I think it was King George, King George Edward's dad was cousins with Tsar Nicholas. And they actually looked like exactly alike.
But Tsar Nicholas was a little hotter. Well, he's always going to be number one. Exactly. So you guys listen to our Romanoff's episode if you're an Anastasia fan, obviously. Anastasia. Anastasia. So a little bit about Edward. Everything about Edward's character was unsuitable for the throne. Honestly, he kind of gives me Prince Charles vibes.
He's ugly. He's not that interesting. He's not. He wanted to party. He loved the ladies. Like he was a playboy. He also was like, I don't want this responsibility. Yeah. He lived fast. He like tended to have lots of relationships with married women. Oh. Which drove his family crazy. And he was constantly told by his parents his whole life, like one day you will be king and you have to live a certain way and your whole life is chosen for you. So like get this out of your system now. He's like, okay. He's like, done. Done.
And he, he just like hated that and he hated his father. Um, he, his father was horrible to him and he said, he said he loved his mother, but his mother would not let him love her.
Say no more. Yeah. There it is. And there it is. And she always sided with the king. Edward said of his childhood that it was Dickens in a Cartier setting, meaning that they had wealth and luxury, but there was tremendous neglect and no warmth. Yeah. So it just sucks over there in the royal family. Yeah.
And then people were like, okay, Edward, when he's in his 20s, like, that's fine that he's, like, hooking up with all these girls. But, like, much like the men on Bravo when you're in your late 30s and your early 40s, like, it's not so cute anymore. You need to cut it out. No, it sure isn't.
So people are starting to be like, all right, you need to get it together. So Edward and Wallace meet this weekend and he is just so taken with her. Like she's straightforward. She's witty. She didn't fawn over him like other British women. She had this like no nonsense vibe that he found so refreshing. He's like, you're not giving me attention. I like you even more.
Exactly, Tess. And that's what we will see their whole relationship. Like there's this story about that he dropped his handkerchief and people thought that like she would pick it up for him. And she said something like, pick it up yourself. I mean, you see it. She's like, get on your knees, you little bitch. Yeah.
for real and then he was like oh my god I'm obsessed with her which you guys I'm like let's call it back he loved his mom but like his mom would not show him love wow guys it's all just pretty we're all predictable creatures I mean like mommy issues is such a theme and Ram too with these men it's crazy to see every man we've ever covered
Every man we've ever covered. You're just like, oh, your mom doesn't like you. Yeah. I didn't want you. And so he's like, I've got to ruin the world. But for sure? Yeah. What else can you do? I can't get a therapy. I have to ruin the world. No, men don't do that. No. So he's like, hubba hubba. Oh my God, she's so hot. And then after this weekend, Thelma keeps inviting Wallace and Ernest to like parties and vacations. And because we know Thelma is Edward's mistress, she's like,
Then they start hanging out with Edward more, and soon enough, Wallace and Ernest are in Edward's inner circle. Interesting. And then, in 1934, Tess, Thelma and Wallace are having lunch at the Ritz, as they often did. The Ritz goes back to the 30s? Apparently. Which, that seems right. Yeah, I know. That makes sense. Should we do History of Luxury Hotels? Oh, and have Adrian on? Yeah.
We love nothing more. Like Ritz, Four Seasons, St. Regis. I mean, there is actually a crazy history of people that have stayed there, things that have happened there. Wait, that sounds like such a fascinating episode. Adrienne, come on. Adrienne, please. Adrienne would be honored. He'd be honored. Our merch king. You guys know Tessa's brother. Okay.
We'll put it in our back of our pockets. We always have to be working in real time. Of course. So Thelma and Wallace were at the St. Regis. That's where they were, right? Yeah. Sorry, the Ritz. Sorry. Oh, my God. I'm getting them mixed up. They were at the Ritz. And Thelma was like, okay, Wallace, I'm going to go visit my family, you know, the Vanderbilts, back in New York. And while I'm gone, do you mind keeping an eye on the little man? The little one. The little one.
So that's what they would call Edward. That's what Thelma would call him was the little man. Well, no wonder he hated himself. Yeah. He probably actually loved that, that his mistress was calling him the little man. No, that's true. So, yeah. So she was like, will you look after the little man? And Wallace was like, I'll look after him. All right. She's like, she's like, I'll peg it.
We were both thinking it. We were both thinking it. We were both visualizing it. Wallace then proceeded to peg Prince Edward. Yeah, and I haven't seen it now. Sorry, guys. So inappropriate. Sorry to our British Rammies. I feel like that's so offensive to you guys. But whatever. We're American and we're crass like Wallace. Yeah, but our British Rammies always love us. We can do no wrong in their eyes. You know what I mean? They're like, don't push it. Don't push it. Don't do it.
In a British accent. So then Edward starts hanging out with Wallace and Ernest all the time. Wallace wrote in a letter to her Aunt Bessie, which like, oh my God. Bessie. We have so many letter excerpts in this episode from Aunt Bessie. So just know that like they were always chatting. She said, quote, I think I do amuse him. I'm a comedy relief, but I always have Ernest hanging around my neck. So all is safe.
I love the, like, I think I amused him. It's just like it used to be different how we spoke about –
and people. I love it. The way that people used to speak and write is so beautiful. And I mean, listen to like 100% five minutes of our episode. I've said like 20,000 times. Same. I'm in my phase of saying literally to everything. Like I noticed that on the Megan Markle episode. I was like, I think I've said it a hundred times, but it's a part of our charm these days. You know, it just is what it is. Whatever. Can you imagine if we came on and started doing an episode, like all speaking in this way? Yeah.
We'd have to write a script. For April Fool's? Yes. We always have April Fool's ideas that we never follow through with, but we get scared. We do. We really get scared of you guys, rightly so. So she is hanging out with him, but then Ernest starts trusting Wallace more, and he would start going to bed early while his wife stayed up talking to the prince into early hours of the morning. I had to guess they were doing a little more than just talking. You know what I mean? A little over the bra. Yeah.
So then they start hanging out a little bit more alone. And then all of a sudden Thelma comes back from New York. Okay.
And they're all having lunch. And she notices that Edward picked up a lettuce leaf off of his plate. And Wallace playfully slapped his hand. And then Thelma was like, everything has changed. Jolly. And then they said that her eyes met Wallace's. And it was like they knew Wallace is in. Thelma is out. Well, a woman's intuition. We always know. I mean, what?
I mean, what'd you expect when you asked her to watch over the little man? Yeah, no, we knew it wouldn't end well. No, she's just a woman after all. Truly.
So then Edward becomes a man obsessed with Wallace. He invites her to join him on holiday in the south of France that summer, and Ernest was not invited. On holiday. We should start saying that, by the way. I think so, too. Let's just be douchey about it. Where are you going on holiday? It's like, oh, God. Very Dorit of us. Very Hilaria Baldwin. We're just like, we're just children of the world. I love it.
Yeah, so they went on holiday that summer. One guest observed that he followed her around like a dog. The doc said when the whirlwind of Wallace hit him, he was completely without defenses. He had nothing to fall back on within himself at all. And that's a lesson. Ladies, listen, you've got to love yourself. You've got to have some things going on. Before someone can love you. Exactly. But Edward had nothing of the sort. Yeah.
And at the end of that summer holiday task, he slips her a velvet Cartier pouch containing a diamond and sapphire charm.
I'm sweating. No, and he will just continue to shower this woman with jewels for the rest of her life. Her jewelry collection is crazy. Yeah, so all of a sudden, Wallace is like, oh my God, I love this, and I actually love you. Yeah. According to Wallace, it was during a cruise on Lord Moven's private yacht in August of 1934 that she fell in love with Edward. I'm sure it was that Cartier brooch. We need more rich friends. I agree.
agree I need like episodes making me think of same I need at least one friend that's a lord oh like yeah we just need to like mix it up a little bit I think so too so if you start our far close friends stop hearing from us you know why you know that we just need to be around more wealth sorry I
And people were, again, like, confused about why Edward was so obsessed with her. Tess, a man, an older guy on the dock who, like, knew them said, quote, he thought she was Helen of Troy. Nobody else did. She had a face like an old boot. That is so mean. Oh, my God, it's so mean. And, like, she did not have a face like an old boot. Also,
Men never get the same thing. It's like this gorgeous woman is with this disgusting man. No one says anything about it. We see this in Hollywood. We see this in the Royals. Think about Diana and Prince Charles. Think about it. I mean, think about Kate and William now. Like, William had his day, but no longer. Babe, just shave your head. No, I know. Guys...
It's okay. It's okay to shave. We love it. We love a shaved head. We do. Or like you are a royal. Get some hair plugs. I know, but sometimes it doesn't take apparently. Yeah, that's true. And that's a risk. Can you imagine now Prince William showing up with a head full of hair? Yeah, because then it's like if it's you have to do it a certain time when people are like, it's like Harry Styles.
Yes, exactly. There's so many celebrities that have hair plugs that y'all don't even realize. Like all of them guys. Steve Carell has some of the best hair plugs in Hollywood. Oh yeah. I always forget about him. Yeah. There's someone else too. That's shocking. Yeah. But they're out there. History of hair plugs. You've officially lost it. Just deal with it. Yep. And so people are like, she's ugly. So the only way that she's like been able to score him is that she must be like a sexual deviant.
And like she's trapped him because also, which is like so wrong on so many counts. At one point with her first husband, Earl, they lived in China. And so it's at this point that people are like she became a sex worker and she learned all of these tricks from all of these Chinese women, which is just like so offensive on so many parts. So gross. Yeah. And so they were just like she is trapped or trapped him sexually.
If only it were that easy. Like we all say. Literally, literally. Also like men are so simple. Like it really doesn't take that much. Nevermind. But yeah, I'm not going to be graphic, but yes, I agree. Claire. So, but you know, what's crazy to us is like Ernest was so her husband was so chill with all of this. Where is he? While she's in the South of France, holiday, holiday eating.
Is that the, yeah. With the Prince. Thank you for that. Um, he's at his London flat chilling, climbing the ranks of society because we also hooking up with other people. Well, he eventually does start hooking up with one of Wallace's childhood friends, Mary. Okay. Well that's fucked up. Well,
Well, yeah. So actually Wallace kind of like introduces them to keep him company and then she gets really pissed about them having an affair. It's like, well, Wallace, like you are having an affair with the Prince of England. Yeah. She's been naughty. She's been a naughty girl. She's been having affairs her whole life. Yeah. Literally. Literally.
So he's just like chilling. He is like, I'm climbing up the ranks of society. You're getting yours. I'm getting mine. So they're both kind of like, they both understand what's going on. It's like kind of an honor for him that his wife is the princess mistress. Yeah. I could see him liking that. It's so such a different time. Weird, but yeah. Yeah. They both called Edward Peter Pan and Ernest joke that Wallace had been to the realms of Peter Pan's Neverland.
Like when they would write and she would like write him letters and be like, we're chilling, but I miss you. Can't wait to see you later. Interesting. Yeah, it's crazy.
So there were rules, though, that came with being like the royal mistress. Basically, you had to keep up the appearance that you guys were still married. Like if Ernest and Wallace were to go to like another country weekend with the prince, Ernest and Wallace had to stay in the same bed. And then Wallace would just like get up in the middle of night and sneak over to Edward's room. Oh, yeah. Because it's like you don't want people. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like.
Diana and Camilla. I was literally just thinking that. Like in a way that. Wow. Yes. That everyone knew that they were hooking up. But they just can't like look like it. Exactly. They can't like outwardly say that they're hooking up, which is so dumb. I know. So anyways, and Wallace understood how to play the game to her Aunt Bessie. She wrote, everything will go on just the same as before. Namely, the three of us being the best of friends. I shall be very clever enough to keep them both.
She's on a mission. She's a mastermind. Literally. What if I told you I was a mastermind and now you're mine? And now you're mine. It's all by design. Just the rest of the episode just keeps saying mastermind.
Yeah, so I think that Wallace always came from a place of like, I'm going to have fun. I'm having an affair with the prince. And then like one day I know that like he's going to get tired of me. A new hot thing will come around. And then Ernest and I will climb the ranks of society and then we'll just chill. She's like Bethany Frankel. She comes from a place of yes. Like truly. And we've been saying that. Yeah, she's just like sure. Yeah. Yeah, she just like knows how this game works. Yeah. So I'm going to do it. Yeah.
But here's the thing. Wallace thinks one day he's going to get sick of her. He does the opposite. He starts to become super obsessed with her in a really intense way. Thank you for listening to our preview of our Wallace Simpson episode. If you want the full hour and a half long episode where we have some personal gossip in the beginning, we even have a boots on the ground Bravo Liberty story. You can join our premium channel. The link is in the show notes. When
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