A Scandal in Bohemia - Part Three
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This is a simple photo of Queen herself and her newborn son. Irene and I were

And from the day she left the image. We are perfectly timing a seemingly casual interaction with our target. I have my character. You're gonna be Dan. I have assumed his life and personality. You are Jack. You look shocked on cue, and I focus on the task at hand. It's all about angular momentum and kinetic transfer, you see, Watson. Here we go. Here we go. Hey, hey, Sherlock! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

In case you hadn't noticed, Sherlock Holmes is an unhinged individual at times, whether he's in character or disguise or whatever. That's, yeah, that's what it's like dealing with him. But if you want to know exactly what you're dealing with, dip into the episode description for full triggers. Enjoy A Scandal in Bohemia Part 3. If you want it all, go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Here we go. Here we go. Hey, hey, Sherlock! Hello.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sir, sir, sir. Dan. What? Dan, for God's sake. Dan. Dan, are you OK? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm really, really sorry, sir. Jesus Christ. Are you hurt? Are you hurt, sir? I think there may be some internal bleeding or perhaps some fractured ribs. I hope they haven't punctured a lung. Look, let me get you to hospital. Yeah, we can lift him, can't we, mate?

We can lift him. Is that what you want, Dan? Dan, the hospital, is that what you want, mate? Holy crap, are you okay? That is what I want. I want to be a doctor.

You're an idiot. Am I, Jack? Am I? Don't call me Jack. This is completely insane. What on earth would your reaction be if it wasn't working? How exactly is this working? She's with us, is she not? There are a hundred other ways to approach her, to have a conversation with her, than to throw yourself in front of her Uber. Quite something though, isn't she, Jack?

Despite the burden she carries, the heart of darkness that she conceals, that drive, the portal to hell as Milverton put it, she hides it all away. So effortlessly does she not. She's concerned about you because she watched you smash into her Uber. Yet we witnessed her thrust a knife into a man. Who is the real Irene Adler? This kindly stranger or the knife-wielding thief?

Perhaps the renowned operatic icon. What do we have before us, Watson? Jack. Yes, forgive me. Dan, I figured it was kind of late for coffee, so I got you a hot chocolate. Oh my God, that's literally amazing. You didn't have to do that. Please stop. And Jack, you look like a guy that can handle a tea this time of night. You are right about that, Irene. Thanks so much. Ah, stop elbowing me. Well, yeah, um...

Yeah, so I'm a bit of a night owl, so... Same. All those years on the stage, hey, mate? Yeah, I love a lot more for you than me, pal. God. You guys are performers? Yeah. Oh, that's so cool. I'm at the Royal Opera right now. Ah, no way, that's great. Bohemia? Bohemia? Yeah, that's the one that's on at the moment. That's right.

I'm Musetta. Wow, big. Big role. Yeah, it's... The intensity is kind of gone now, so... It can be a little draining. Not the fun kind. You guys working right now, or...? Yeah, I'm, um... He's ensemble in Wicked, Jammie Gitt. Oh, wow, that's great. Yeah, not too shabby, yep. And what about you, Dan? I'm...

I'm nothing. Been there. Well, I don't think you have, to be honest, Irene. How so? I've given up. I gave it a good go, you know? Really worked to my craft and tried to get myself seen and be everywhere. But I don't... I just don't have it in me anymore. I just don't have it. There's this...

other version of me out there that didn't chase this stupid dream that built a normal life with normal dreams not this torture but i'm sorry it must be the shock of being hit by a car or something it's all right dan it's okay hey dan dan come here come here give me a hug come on

First off, it is never over. Not if you don't want it to be. And second, there is so, so, so much more to life than this damn industry. Do you understand me?

Do you? Mm-hmm. You're going to have a great life. You're going to do amazing things. So stop thinking about that other version of you. You be the version you want to be. You want to run off into the sunset and reset your life? Who cares, right? You want to act and sing to people until you're 85? That is your call. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. You're talking to a girl from South Brunswick, New Jersey, with a single mom, bullied at school. I couldn't do math. I couldn't spell. I couldn't sit still.

The fact that I have toured all across Europe is crazy to me, because I couldn't even find that on a map in middle school. And now I sing opera? Like, what? Me? A Jersey girl with a 1250 on her SATs and a part-time job at Gordo's Bagels? And now I'm up there singing Puccini to dukes and dames and douchebags. Come on. If I can do it, anybody can.

And you can, Dan. You can. And don't say you can. Otherwise, I'll hit you with my car again. Not my car, I know, but I did kind of tell him to go fast. For what? You told him to go fast?

Why were you in a hurry? I'm not keeping you, am I? Oh, there's no hurry anymore. You don't have to worry about my evening plans. Must be tricky. I mean, it is tricky, these hours. Kind of used to it now. And when I'm not, when I've had my fill, I can always... Whoosh. Whoosh. Get out of there. What would happen to the show? Daisy. She could do it easy enough.

It's just all politics, you know? Like, who has the big role and... Yeah, dumb. Dumb shit for smart people, I guess. Pays the rent, though, right? Where do you live? St. John's Wood. Oh, nice, nice. I know it quite well, actually. Whereabouts? Oh, do you know Bryony Lodge? The estate off Serpentine Avenue? Yeah, I'm in there. I had a friend who lived there, actually. In number three. I'm number four. How incredible.

Would you look at that, Jack. Jack. Oh, yep. Look at that. We have ourselves a smiling Dan. Yeah, we do indeed. Thank you, Irene. For the injury. For being so kind. I kind of have to be, though, don't I? Yes, I suppose. Or I could have just told him to drive on. Screw the guy rolling around on the floor. It was more of a squirm, I think. Yeah, you kept it together, I guess. Daniel Edmonds!

Daniel Edmonds! Dan? Oh, goodness. I never go by Daniel. That threw me. Up you get. Jeez, I thought you were concussed too for a second there. Don't do that to me. Right-o. Let's go get checked out. It's... yeah, I'd say that's a limp. That could be worse. Some top-shelf painkillers and a limp. You've had worse day. You're right about that, mate. Blimey.

Of course, yeah. You should do TED Talks or something. I could do with the bloody advice. Yeah.

Yeah, a little bite-sized daily wisdom from Irene Adler. Well, you know where I live. Pay me a visit and I'll impart some sage words or maybe just coffee. Whatever works for you. I gotta get home. Um, I could do Bakerloo or maybe overground to south. You know what? I'm taking an Uber. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Well, Irene, it's... We were around there the other day, weren't we, Jack? Hmm? A hamster. Yes, we...

Were. Yep. Oh, cool. Yeah, that's not far from me. St John's Wood is just that part between, like, Baker Street and Hampstead, so... Yes, I'm familiar with both. Traffic was a bloody nightmare, though, wasn't it, mate? Was it? Yeah, do you not remember? They had all the roads closed because of some incident off the South End Road. By the Heath.

Oh, that sucks. Yes, terribly inconvenient. Missed the football too, didn't we? It really twisted the knife, didn't it, mate? Yeah, it sure did, mate. It sure did. Well, I believe it is time for me to try my very best not to kill anybody. What? Uber. This is my ride. Wish me luck.

Yeah, I'll keep my distance. Great to meet you, Jack. You too, Dan. Come here. I'm sorry again, but I'm so glad you're okay. Night, boys. Night. Night, night. You. What? My back is sweaty. My pits are a mess. My bum crack. I will spare you the details. Yes, please do. Why did you do that? What was the...

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Point. Seriously, for God's sake. We know her background, her character, her schedule, and where she lives. And I took her keys. See? That's why we did it. You... When? When she hugged me. We...

We cannot break into that nice woman's house. We can't. We cannot. I refuse. She plays a nice woman, it would seem. Sherlock. Watson, I feel you may need reminding of the heinous attack on Charles Augustus Milverton. I did get reminded. When you nearly mentioned it in front of her. She didn't even flinch. Remarkable. Please can we not break into her house, Sherlock? Please. I would really like to avoid that. Just once. Oh, we don't need to now. Why? She invited Dan and Jack. Any time.

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Membership required. Subject to terms and conditions. Applies to orders over $35. Mike? Mike? I'm alright for a tea right now, actually, John. No, Mike! Yes, mate? I was just wondering if you could do the cutting outside. I can't, pal. Bit of drizzle now. Okay. It's just... It's really loud. Yeah, it won't be long, John, mate, but I'm doing the cupboards. They've got to be bespoke, haven't they? Yeah, so you tell me.

Morning! Yeah, morning. Oh wow, the kitchen is looking great. Hey, you okay? Knackered. Oh, bad night? Yeah, just... I already had a lot in my head. I had the violin concerto until the early hours. Mike and his table saw was the follow-up act, so...

Just struggling. And how was last night? The performance? You went to see the show again. No, my performance. As Jack. And his as Dan. Oh, okay, yeah. It's not funny. It's extremely tedious, to be honest. Did you meet her? We did. What's she like? She's just great, actually. She's just a nice woman with a good heart. But you know that can't be the case, right? I know it, but...

Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me. John, I've got to do another run for some plywood. So you've got a break from the noise for a bit. Oh, thank you, Mike. I appreciate that. Sorry, I had a late one. Yeah, yeah. See you in a bit.

Hey, so I'm... I'm actually glad you're sad and mad. You're glad I'm sad and mad? Yeah. Oh, thanks. Perhaps you'd like to kick me in the bollocks, too. Because I got you something. Oh? So Carol called me because you're not answering your phone. Ah, shit. Her and Gregson. Carol and Gregson. I need the post-it notes stuck into my brain, me. So, yeah, I said...

It was the Swindon tea towel that set the kitchen on fire and nearly killed us all. Again, thanks for the TLC. So I said I was gonna get you a new one, but I couldn't find one. Yes, we are substantially shitter and can no longer afford to operate that level of merch, so yeah, this has been a great chat. But anyway, I was looking for John Watson-related stuff because you know how I get when I'm in gift mode, and I got...

This guy. Ta-da! Hey, mini mic! Yeah. For the listeners, that's a mini version of the microphone, not a mini version of our builder. It's the same make, same... Like, I've tried it, and it works exactly the same way. So we can record separate places... At the same time. Yes, Mariana, yes, good. Good stuff.

God, why did we think of that before? I don't know. Maybe we just always had a hunch the podcast dream would die. Yeah, well, that podcast just won a Webby. What's a Webby? No idea. God, that's perked me up. That needed that. Good. Go get some sleep. Watson. Watson. Yes? What? Consider this your alarm for work. I consider this to be really annoying. The game is afoot, John. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can we please hurry up? Just wait. Get in the picture. I am in the picture. I'm not at all comfortable on this bloody zebra crossing. Stay still. It should be used for crossing purposes only, not for taking pictures like the Bee Gees. Firstly, where did you hear the word Bee Gees? Secondly, this is Abbey Road, mate. This is THE zebra crossing. I don't have the time or interest to comprehend what on earth you're talking about. Abbey Road. The Beatles.

Right, I'm done now, isn't it? See? Look at us. Yeah, yeah, all right, mate. You didn't beep at the Brazilian girls, though, did you? Idiot. Down this way. Yeah, all right. You're nervous. Am I? Yes. Excessive yawning, among other things. Oh, well, you know, maybe I had a bad night's sleep. Someone was playing Musetta's Waltz until 4am. I was working. Oh, is that working now, is it? Great, good to know.

Through this alley. It will come out at the Bryony Lodge Estate. Yeah, yeah. And we are going to knock on the door and politely wait for her to come out, aren't we? It is one of the many options I am evaluating at this moment in time, yes. Sherlock... Watson, this woman has the drive. You must keep that in the forefront of your mind or she will bend you to her will. Bend me to her will? She's an opera singer from New Jersey. She's...

She had a grudge or whatever against Milverton that was completely out of control, right? She stabbed him and took the drive, which obviously has something about her on it. Look, look, I wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have done it. But she chose, when threatened, when pushed into a corner, to stab that twat in the stomach. I mean, I was only with him for five minutes and I punched him. You still don't see it, do you? No, I don't, mate. I'm sorry. Well, I'll show you.

What are you doing? Watch. I told you not to use the key, for God's sake. And I told you that I'll show you. Look. What? What's going on? It's a fake. The key? Correct. The whole set is, in fact. How do you know that? I suspected it late last night. How? Under a bright light once we had returned home. Every key on here. Look.

Yeah. Flawless. Even on the bidding. Not a scuff or a scratch. No wear. No dulling. Factory new. And this here is all ornamental, see? Not functional. And it feels like aluminium. Zinc. That's wrong, is it? Brass. Keys like this would always be brass, as the door latch is here too. Yeah. You are beginning to see it, Watson.

Think I am. Yeah. Let us see what else we observe, eh? Do you want to knock again? Would Dan knock again? Is that in his character? Dan would knock again, yes. Would he? Yeah, he's that kind of guy. You change your whole posture and expression when you're in character. It's quite impressive. Why, thank you, Watson. Yeah, the stage lost a fine actor. Even as science lost an acute reasoner when you became a specialist in Crow. Too kind, Watson. Too kind. I am too kind.

Because I say specialist. We hid in a wardrobe from an old man and a woman from New Jersey and now we're pretending to be failed actors in order to retrieve the thing we should have retrieved the first time round. Dan is not a failed actor. He's in the midst of his struggle that will eventually go on to define him and his work. And Jack is on the West End, for goodness sake. You know what I mean. Wait.

I see a figure in there. Do you really? Oh, goodness. What? Run. Now. Run. Are you kidding me? There's a back door, Watson. Yeah, so? And she just fled out of it. Fled? I saw her through the window. Oh, God. Down this alley. Why would she do that? Here. Here. She's getting into a cab. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Taxi. Taxi. Quick. In. In. In.

Hi, mate. You follow that cab there? Don't let them get away. Whatever you say, gents. You didn't answer my question. What's that? Why would she do that? Do what? Exit through the back door? Yeah, like, did she sprint out of it? I mean, she was pretty easy going when she climbed into that cab. She did not sprint, no. She gracefully walked out the back door up the steps to the main road. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Did...

Did she leg it out of there? No. Then maybe she just left and didn't hear the knock. She was carrying something, concealing something as she made her way out the back door to escape in a cab. Was she running at any point? No. Right, and we're chasing her through North London, are we? She requires further observation, Watson. Oh.

Oh, man. Do you want to put some, like, chase music on? I could put some chase music on for you. No, we do not need any chase music, thank you. Perhaps something energetic, but with tension. No, it really won't be necessary. Energetic with tension. Right, yep, this one. For God's sake. Well, I guess this is her stop. Indeed. Whereabouts are we, mate? Dunstan Road, Golders Green. Golders Green? Just north of Hampstead.

If she's playing a trick on us, she's playing it very close to home. What's that she's going in? Golders Green Synagogue. She's Jewish? Perhaps. Here, sir. Thank you for the ride. Excellent driving and music. Oh, thank you very much. You know, I was a DJ back in the day. Yeah, thanks, mate.

You may wish to put that music in the episode, Watson. Add a dramatic score to that thrilling chase. Well, we sat in traffic on Finchley Road for 35 minutes. 35 engrossing minutes, I thought. And now, after all that, she's just gone into a synagogue and is probably just doing some kind of quiet worship. I'm sorry, I don't know the Jewish word for prayer.

Well, let us go see and find out. Or we could wait outside and then pounce. Not literally pounce on Jewish women outside synagogues, obviously, but psychologically pounce. Why? So she can spin further lies and fiction? You want to walk into the synagogue? Yes. But that's... it's a place of worship. You have followed me into chapels and churches. Why is this different to you? Well, it...

It's... You have become desensitised to the sacred and intimate practices of Christianity due to your own British millennial cynicism of Western homogeny as you see it. And now you can only see faith when it takes other forms, when it deviates from what you know and are familiar with. Do the Christians deserve that indifference from you? Do they? Seems rather unfair. I only understood half of that, but I still don't appreciate it. Then prove me wrong. Come. Fine, fine.

God, there's silence. And then there's this. Almost meditative, isn't it? Yeah. Music is fairly infrequent in this place. That dedicated silence rooted in mourning the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem. What are you doing? Looking for that woman. Does her cunning and trickery know no bounds, Watson? That she would hide out in this sacred place? Well, maybe she's Jewish.

Irene? Pretty Jewish name. Adler? Pretty Jewish name. New Jersey? Pretty Jewish place. It's not unreasonable, is it? What I suspect, Watson, is that this conniving, sly temptress detected our approach and dragged us out here in order to thwart us. Did she ever truly believe in our disguise?

And what case is that? You know...

This is actually kind of convenient. I think she may have seen us. A doctor is an ideal witness. That's what the rabbi tells me. A witness to what, Irene? To witness a mikvah, Sherlock. She knows who we are. I do know who you are, yeah. And you know what? I know you Brits like formal introductions. So, I'm Irene Adler. Nice to properly meet you.

Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes, welcome to Frey's Mikveh, an important spiritual blessing. He doesn't have much family, so it's nice that you two can join us. And who is this Frey, Irene? He's my son. Shh. It's okay. It's okay. Goodness. Oh. No bow for the royal baby.

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