The Three Gables - Part One
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We just had another Sherlock & Co. event for our members, which was amazing. And yeah, we'd love to welcome you to the team. Sign up now at patreon.com slash Sherlock & Co. Hi, and welcome to the Sherlock & Co. podcast with me, Mariana Mechazurra.

And me, Sherlock Holmes. This is the adventure of the three gables. It's three parts. Check the episode description if you've got young kids or feel that some content may be upsetting. Everything you need to know is in there. And don't forget, you can get in touch. DocJWatsonMD on Twitter and Blue Sky and Sherlock and Co. Pod, all one word, on Instagram and TikTok.

We'd love to hear from you. That was so good, Sherlock. Was it? Mm-hmm. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. You know what? When I listened to, um, Sinophore Part 9? Mm-hmm. I realized something. I don't have a fire extinguisher in the office. Right. And now, look.

Now you have one. Now I have one. A Christmas present to myself. Facebook marketplace, thank you very much. Oh, I also got a dumb phone. A dumb phone? Yeah, a non-smart phone, just for some offline time. Got my old school texting style back. Are you really trying to send a message on that keypad? Hold on, hold on. And...

Done. Hey, Cheryl. How are you? TB. Means text back. I know what it means. I'm older than you. Facebook marketplace, my friend. On the subject of your online activity, what is this post? Post? This Instagram post you've done. Oh, looking at my Instagram, are you? Oh, no, that's...

That's not my Instagram. That's our Instagram. This post, it's an invitation. Yeah, to our Christmas party. Well, not our Christmas party, Goalhangers. Goalhangers? Yeah, they are podcast producers. Are they now? It's at the Three Gables. Why is a children's hospital hosting a Christmas party? No, no, no. It's a fundraiser type of party.

in their event space. So I posted a picture of the invite, not like the time and date, but just to kind of... I don't know, show people about this party and this cause? I see. I'll get it. Yes, if you could. I think John usually takes the microphone with him. Ah, of course, of course. Yep, yep, yep. Hello. Hi, hi. Oh, God. Um...

Is Sherlock Holmes in? Please, please say he's in. He is. Can... Is everything okay? Can we help you? It isn't, no. I just really need to see him right now. Oh, okay, okay. Don't worry. He's in here. Come in, come on. Thank you. Come through.

He's just here. Sherlock? Sherlock? This man, he needs to see you? Oh, bugger. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Stop it. No, no, no. Stop. Stop it. Fuck it. Fuck it.

My name is Dr John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of

of Sherlock Holmes. Slower than I remember, Steve. Get off him! Get off! Oh dear, oh dear, Steve. Shut up!

Piss off! Oh, I'd love to piss off Steve Dixie, I really would. I can't breathe! You can. It's just exceptionally painful. The go-go platter trope, Steve. You remember this one, surely? I watched your fight in 2021 against Nesta Parolo. He worked this exact trope on you in the third round, didn't he, Steve? And boy, did it work a treat.

Steve! Stop saying Steve! Third round, Steve. How embarrassing. Let go, let go, let go. Tell me who sent you and I will. Let go. Let him go. And standing by for the truth. Okay, okay, right, right. Okay, right. Just listen up, alright? Just...

I... uh... had it under control. Yeah, sorry. I was kinda late. Steve? Steve? Sorry, Steve. You hear that, Steve? She said she's sorry. Shall we ask John to come take a look? No, no. I don't want to disturb him. And believe me, this certainly is disturbing. What do we do, then? Steve? Steve?

Steve Dixie. Hello. Hospital? I'm sure he'll be fine. There's blood coming out of his ears. I'll get us a cab. For everybody watching at home, what gets Isadora Klein up in the morning?

Okay.

Shout out to Paulina in Germany, to Dora and their cats Lucy and Frixos. Hi and a late happy 17th birthday to Ezekiel from the Philippines.

Wow. Shout out to Kennedy from their friend Michelle in Texas. Wow, there are so many. How does John pick? Jasmine has requested a shout out for her boyfriend Pratik Sinha in Tom's River, New Jersey. Shout out to Agathe in Belgium, to Kiara and her mom, to Dr. Mel Smart. What?

Wow, Dr. Smart. Listening while, no doubt, gardening or doing DIY. Driving along the south coast in her Figaro. Aw, that's nice. Hi, Dr. Smart. Oh my god, okay. Hi to Amy and family in Australia. Wow, who just named their two new cats. Oh.

Oh, Dr. John Watson and Perluck Holmes. Oh, and they sent pictures. Oh. What are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Steve. Yes. You wouldn't have happened to see him, would you? Um...

No. Bugger. Quite the slippery character, that one. What is going on? How do you know this guy? Where is he? I'll answer those questions in order. One, he's just climbed out of the consultation room window. Two, I know him because he's nearly always attached to low-level crimes in mostly South London. And three...

I don't know where he is. You lost him? Yes, well, a likely outcome that I should have been more in tune to. Why? Was he scared you'd hurt him more or something? Sherlock, did you threaten him? No. Then what was he afraid of? That I'd get to the bottom of who sent him. Sent him? Sent him? Sherlock, is this whole thing, like, serious? Because I don't think a certain...

You know who can handle something that serious right now? No, and Watson will stay out of it regardless. However... What? I feel, as I observe this potential case flowering before us, that it grew from a particular seed planted by yourself. By me? I didn't do anything. Oh, but you did. What did I do? This Instagram post.

So I posted this stupid Christmas party invite. Look, I'll delete it if it matters this much. Oh, it doesn't matter to me, but it matters to somebody. The children it raises money for? Someone else. Are you serious? You posted the picture. A man then came to incapacitate me. And I thought John was dramatic. I'm not being dramatic.

I do that at the end of cases, not at the beginning. Well, it's a leap. You are making a big leap. That's what I do. I make leaps. Now, you may assist me on the case. Oh, thanks. And I feel the future John Watson will thank us enormously if you were to bring along... that. You want me to bring the mic to the Christmas party? Mm-hmm. Because you think...

What? Sorry, what exactly do you think? I think that somebody doesn't want me there. Oh. Doesn't want you there, huh? Indeed. Like, in a social way? Or they just don't like you? I... No. Not that they don't like me. Who doesn't like me? No, no, I wasn't...

Go on. What were you saying? Unexpected item in bagging area. Somebody connected to either the party or the building or something. Unexpected item in bagging area. I can't concentrate with this bloody noise. Yeah, okay, okay. I am paying, okay? Unexpected item in bagging area. Ooh, there is no item in the bagging area. Can we go here? Excuse me? Can we go here, please? London Christmas Market.

Uh, why? Are we going to find answers here? No, but we will find twinkly lights and other visual stimulation. Right. Also, Watson may feel warmed by its festive joy. Perhaps. Festive joy. You think festive joy is going to make him feel better?

Because I thought we were buying him these crisps and Guinness to make him feel better. Unexpected item in bagging area. Oh, I swear to God. Remove this item before continuing. If he feels better, he'll attend the party. If he attends the party, I'm free to work the case uninterrupted. And how does that work? I have no social expectation to mingle. Watson does it for me. I can just get to work. With your assistance. Is this what it's like with you on these things? Most of the time, yes. Can we just...

Can we just work out why you were attacked in the office this morning, please? Steve Dixie is a retired MMA fighter. Retired after too many concussions, too many disc ruptures, too many hip tears, too many tendon snaps, and too many defeats. A bad fighter and an even worse gambler. He has no money, no hope, and no spine. Figuratively, of course, but one or two bouts more, and it could be literal. He was paid by somebody. His phone received three messages in the waiting room.

I glimpsed one of them asking if it was done. Who was it from? B.S. B.S.? As in, like, bullshit? Just the letters. B.S. Right, okay. But the party... Your account on Instagram. Our account. Fine, yes, whatever. It's public. The post was visible to everyone. We can see from the story who viewed it. Right, yeah. Look, there. Barney Stockdale.

Who is that? Barney Stockdale. B.S. Uh-huh. But who is he? His bio says very little, but our friend Wiggins says very much. He's a crime junkie, according to the Irregulars. A crime junkie who was recently released early from prison despite being convicted of attempted arson. Attempted arson? My final piece of evidence to you...

Uh, it's a headline from five years ago. Read it. Three Gables Townhouse torched in arson attack. Oh my god. Oh my god. But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But it's a hospital. After this fire, it was converted into the children's hospital, yes. How? What is going on? Quite the coincidence. Bordering on the miraculous, don't you think? What say you, Mariana?

Do you still believe in Christmas miracles? I... I do not. Good. To the Christmas market. I would like to get out and stretch my mind. Stretch your mind. Of course. Let's go. Unexpected item in area. Okay, fine, fine. Let's take him to the market. We can get him stuff there. Unexpected item in bagging area. Remove this item before continuing. Unexpected item in bagging area.

Stupid microphone. I got it, Sherlock. I got it.

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Fries. Fresh for everyone. Hey. Hmm? I said hey. Hey. Enjoying the Christmas market? Uh, yeah. Yeah, I got a bauble for £6.50 and now my eyes hurt because I rolled them so hard when I saw the price come up on the till. I've got like a headache behind my eyes.

I got you something. Is it £6.50, my own chance? No, no, it's a hot chocolate. Ah, thanks, Mariona. Take a sip? I will. Go on, take a sip. Did you spit in it? Why are you so keen for me to take a sip? No, I did not spit in it. Oh, it has Baileys in it. Oh, cool. Cool, cool. Mmm, yeah. Good stuff. Festive alcohol abuse, now we're talking. Yeah.

You look stronger. Well, I did eight press-ups yesterday morning, so... I meant emotionally. Right. Yeah, well, it can be deceiving, I suppose. Remember to talk, okay? To talk about her. To talk about you. Yeah, I, um... I'm just exhausted from it, I think. A very flat emotional battery from, uh...

Yeah, from grief and guilt. The two Gs. Hey, it's not your fault. Yeah, you can keep saying it. It doesn't make it true. I am saying it because I know it's true, not because I want it to be true, John. It's weird, because, like, what's the time limit that you've known someone where grief and, I don't know, pain is warranted? What do you mean? How long did I really know her?

I mean, how much time did I actually spend with her? Hours? No, it can be anything, John. It's about the strength of the connection. Hmm, sure. I'm serious. It can be anything. I never even met Michael Gambon, but it hurt when he died. Wait, what? Michael Gambon is dead? Yes. When did this happen? Last year. What? Great. Great. That's all I bloody need. Oh, la, la.

John, she meant something to you. That's all that matters. I keep having this thought. It's quite stronger than a thought, actually. It's like a presence. You know, like there's another universe out there where we're together, me and Mary. We're married, happy, and planning date nights and babysitters. Yeah, I can feel it just like...

reaching through from another dimension or something? It's always... Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I understand. Have you had other things on your mind at all? Um, like, yeah, just usual stupid, meaningless stuff. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Cases? Cases. Yeah? Will that kind of, um...

help you, you know, to have other focuses. Yeah, probably. Sherlock spoke to the people about the Dundas case, remember, in November? Yeah, I don't want any cases. Sorry. Or if you want to do them, then, you know, you do them without me. I appreciate you recording stuff just in case something pops up, but this is a hiatus for me. Yeah, just until, like, January or something.

Oh, I am... I am recording now, I think. Yeah, see? Oh, that's okay. Just... Yeah, no cases. Gracias, but no gracias. Where's, um... Where's Sherlock gone? He's stretching his mind. What's he working on? Just a hint of a potential something. Of course. It's not Christmas, just...

Make you sad? No, it makes me happy. Well, I mean, it makes me happy too, it just, you know, doesn't being happy make you sad? I don't want to bring you down. No, no, hey, come on. I'm here for you, okay? Okay. I recorded some shoutouts. Ah, cool, cool. Have you been checking the emails? I forgot. I have, yes. Thanks. You miss people. I know it doesn't feel like you do, but you do.

Yeah, I know. They charge you up. In a good way. You are the people person, John. It's not just something Sherlock uses you for. It's something that really means the world to you. So, on that note, and now that I've sweetened you up with the hot chocolate and Baileys... Mm-hmm. There's a potential social thing. Yeah, no, not sure.

Sorry. I know, I know. You would rather watch Netflix documentaries in your pants. Yeah, you ran out, to be honest. Just finished one on Isadora Klein. Absolute bottom-of-the-barrel streaming options now. Well, maybe that's a sign. You will like this social thing, I promise. Pretty sure I won't. It's the Goldhanger Christmas Party. At the Three Gables. That's... a hospital. Mm-hmm. Their fundraising event space. Right. Okay, wow. Uh... Yeah, um...

I don't know. I'm sorry. In fact, no, I do. I do know. It's a no. Gary Lineker is going to be there. But it doesn't say formal, does it? No one said anything about it being formal. No. Then why are you ironing my shirt? Because I'm being nice to you. Oh. Because you've been through a lot and you're my friend. Oh. And because watching you try made me crazy, so yes, now I'm ironing your shirt. Am I expected to converse with people at this stupid thing? Because I really...

Why are you topless? Are we no longer attending? We are, we are, we are. Mariana is just ironing my shant. Oh. Is it formal? Yeah, it's complicated. Is it formal or not? No one has said it's formal. So it's not formal? Um... For goodness sake. Oh, I don't have the energy to explain this one. Just because they don't expect formal doesn't mean you shouldn't dress formally.

Getting a bit nippy in here, isn't it? I will wear black trousers with a black roll neck. Are you planning on robbing the place? No. That is what I want to wear. Yeah, yeah, fine. Wear what you want to wear. But if it is formal... I completely appreciate what you're trying to say. I know it's a weird social thing, but ultimately men shouldn't be forced to wear shirts and ties. We're an equal society now and old school gender roles mean nothing. Here, ironing finished. Thanks.

What? What are you doing? You left the mic on. Yes, I want it on. Why? Because of potential cases, right? They might come up and... I told you I'm not doing it. Yes, yes, I know, I know. And I told you that I am. Yeah, I don't mean I'm being lazy, Mariana. I mean that I don't want to do it. Full stop. The end. I will switch it off. Okay? You go finish getting ready. Okay, there we go.

You didn't switch it off? I know. Shh! You okay? A little itchy. I'm talking to John. Uh, yeah, I'm okay. I've just got those pre-socializing nerves. You know, like when you're 15 and you're gonna go drinking under the skate ramp at the park, you know? I mean, not really, but sure, sure. Oh, speaking of, I got a dump phone. Oh, wow, like an old-school Nokia. You like it? I do, I do. Hmm.

Right, let's see if I've still got my old text and style down. Oh, it's like I never left me. I'm using it over Christmas. Stops me checking emails and stuff. Good idea, good idea. Oh, nerves. Hey, it's okay. I just feel really delicate. I should have a really big fragile sticker on my forehead. They know though, right? What? Goal hangers. People at the party, they know about...

Everything that happened. Of course, of course, yeah. They listen to the show, John. Yeah, no, of course. Of course. I think that's half the reason I... I don't want the mic with us, you know? I feel like the slightest challenge and I will just... I mean, I'll fall apart, but... It's not exactly shine, either. Or it will take it on the chin. I get that. Thank you. Switching the mic off, giving us this break, it means a lot. Oh, that's... Okay. Okay.

What? Nothing. Just the Christmas lights are so pretty out there. Yeah. I think it best you head down Bedford Gardens. Sorry? It'll be much quicker. Huh? If you don't utilise Bedford Gardens, then you'll run into the traffic heading onto Kensington High Street. And there we go. We've run into the traffic heading onto Kensington High Street. Just a bit of traffic here heading onto Kensington High Street. Ugh.

You okay? Not much has really changed since you asked a few minutes ago. Of course. So the three gables, hey, that's nice. They get the money from the venue hire and the drinks and stuff. That's good. Yeah, yeah, it's very nice. Swanky event room, too, judging by the invite. Swanky bar, balcony looking over Kensington. Come a long way, haven't we? We have, we have. Way to go, looking on the bright side. Thanks. Do you want a code word?

A code word? Yeah. You know, if the party gets too much and you just want to... What was that? That was an ejector seat. Like... Right. Okay, yeah. No, I didn't get that. Sorry. Yeah, code word. How about jingle bells? Jingle bells? Yeah.

Yeah, if you hear me use the term Jingle Bells, we are heading straight out. No goodbyes, just gone. Home for a Christmas film and some more Baileys. George Bailey and a glass of Baileys. Sure. Jingle Bells it is. Thank you, mate. Thank you.

Er, what is wrong with you? You don't need to know. Yes, I do need to know. Okay, let's just make our way inside and ignore what just happened. Sherlock dragged us out of a cab, Mariana. That's what just happened. He was taking us on a different route, so I switched cabs. Switch cab? That was traffic. I still pay for that on the app, mate. Look, the app. There. See? How did you get my phone? Whilst you were messing around with hers. You didn't even pay attention to car and licence plate. Look. What?

The app says a black Toyota. That was the sill of a Hyundai. Oh, yeah, that's weird. Yet another attempt to thwart my presence at this venue. Sherlock? Hmm? Ah, right, yes. Probably just a little mix-up with the app. Onwards for a night of festive fundraising folly. Ah, wow. Beautiful building. The Three Gables, yes.

There it is. I love that they turned this into a children's hospital. I love that. Someone tried to burn this place down a few years ago. Did you know that? Oh, did they now? How fascinating. I did not know that. A lot of fire damage. And then it got converted. Yeah, stick with me and you might learn something every now and again.

It's very intense architecture. Yes. Gothic revival. Built in 1832. A members' club for the richest of the rich once upon a time. A popular thing in that year. How so? The Reform Act. It gave middle-class men the vote. Not something that the patrons of this place would have been all that pleased with. Well...

Not something working-class men would have been all that pleased with either, I imagine. Or women. Yeah, sure, them too. Shall we? Sure. Ladies first. But not in voting, right? Apparently not. Welcome. Grape, walnut and labneh spice crostini? Um, yeah. Mmm.

That's good that. Oh well, I'll let the caterer know. Hey, Mariana, this Christmas elf man has some good stuff for you. See? You like this kind of thing. Wouldn't go that far. Nice outfit. Thank you. Say hi to Santa for me. I will, I will. Thank you. OK, well, quite busy. I thought you'd be here. Sorry? Sherlock and Co. You must be the Co. Ah, yeah, yeah. That's us. And Sherlock here, of course.

I'd love to pick your brain. I'd rather you didn't. He's not always that great with the fan. Nothing personal. I'll keep a safe distance. Well, you're rather close right now. Sorry. Lovely to meet you. Thanks. You too.

We probably should have held on to her. I'm kind of... looking out for familiar faces. Yeah, me too. Maybe Neil is here somewhere. Our producer? Yeah, I know his face, at least. Oh, God, look, Christmas karaoke. No, no, thank you. Don't let me drink too much. I'll be up there doing my nutty holder. Hey, where's Sherlock gone? He probably saw karaoke and freaked out. What, doesn't he know the code word? Yeah, I, uh...

No, I can't see him. Great. Well, we can always ask at lost property when we leave. Well, I need to head to the bar. I will join you. Excuse me. Sorry. Thank you. Come.

Hey, can I just squeeze? Thank you. Oh, thanks. Right. Wow, it's busy. Yeah, it's probably an open bar, that's why. Oh, crap, it's Richard Osman. Don't make eye contact. What? Why not? Hi, John. Hi, Richard. Merry Christmas. Glad tidings. Yes, yeah, to you too, mate. Merry Christmas. Now, how's things with the good doctor? Yeah, same old, same old. This is Mariana. Hi, Mariana. Hi. Mariana, this is Richard Osman. Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.

What, um, what do you do, Richard? Ah, loads. Loads. And we don't really have enough time for him to answer that, to be honest. Sorry, Richard, I was just... Oh, of course, yeah. No problem.

Still doing crime? I don't do crime, Richard. Solve it. Of course, absolutely. Me too. Well, do you? Yes. You solve crime? Yeah, I solve crime, yeah. Yeah, not sure about that, but yeah. Anyhow, great to see you, Richard. Just going to... All right, who's next? Yeah, hi, mate. Could I get a Guinness and a vodka soda water with lime? And the Chablis, please. What? It's an open bar. John, just get him the drink. What?

All right, fine. And a glass of the Shabley, please. Thanks, John. Yeah. That's £11, mate. I thought it was an open bar. Not from the wine list, mate. All right, fine. Can you just give them a house weight or something? I'm all out. Sorry. Great. It's wonderful.

There you go, Richard. All for a good cause. Lovely. Thank you, John. Good to see you. Just going to go mingle. Yeah, of course. Say hi to Steven Spielberg for me. He seems nice. Oh, the guy that just stole 11 quid off me? Sure. Well, I didn't hear you say jingle bells, so couldn't have been that bad. Calamari toast. Ah, hell yeah. Mariana, the Christmas tree lady has calamari toast. Oh, cool feat. They're present? Very clever. Thank you. You having some?

Actually, gonna go find Sherlock. Yeah, good idea. Good idea. I can see Neil, so I'm just gonna go chat mailbag stuff with him. Great. See you in a sec. If you hear a man scream jingle bells... That'll be you. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, this calendar is so stupid. OK, Sherlock, where are you? Where are you? Hey, it's Mariana! Hi, hello, hello, hello. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas for peace

Aye, there you are. Here I am. Yet, if they'd had it their way, I'd be in the toilet. You'd be in the toilet? Look. Oh, it's a festive cheese kebab? Yes. Do you see any others amongst the partygoers? I don't. Maybe they're so good people ate them right away. No. This particular hors d'oeuvre looks like it was just for me. Oh, yeah, the little penne pieces on it. Yes, indeed.

And now I need to track down the member of staff that thrusted it into my hand. Um, why? Why not just eat it? Because of these prawns. What about them? Look. Shell casing is loose. That's because the meat is decomposing. See the blue spots? That's mould. Never mind keeping me in the toilet all night. I'd be out for nearly a week if I ingested this thing. And take a sniff. I'd rather not. Exactly.

Somebody really, really doesn't want you here. Yes. And this man has the answer. Who? Follow me. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Oh, boy. Excuse me. Hold the lift. Up, up, up. Hold it, hold it, hold it, please. Thank you. We made it. Yeah, yeah. What floor? The same. Floor four. Okay. Yep.

Excellent party. Yes, very good. And the hospital part, that's all soundproofed, I hope. Soundproofed, I hope so. I hope so. Have you been working on these kinds of events for long? They just come up.

Every now and again. Sort of seasonal. Mm-hmm. Yes. Busy time of year. Absolutely. Yep. Yep. Oh, by the way, you must try this. Oh? The festive shish kebab. Absolutely delightful. Shish you a merry Christmas, it says on the little label here. How sweet. Oh, so, so good. Uh, yes, looks...

Very nice. Here, you must try the prawn. Try the... The prawn. There. Ever so succulent. Wouldn't you agree, Mariana? Oh, truly divine. I can't, I'm working. We're in a lift. No one will see. Actually, no, I'm not hungry, to be honest, because we... Fairly certain I heard a little stomach grumbling when we first came into this lift. Now, here.

Try. No! Wow. Goodness. Aren't some people rude? So rude. Why don't you want it? Because I... Look, I don't want it. I'm trying to work. Is there something wrong with it? No, I'm just... I'm allergic. Ah, he's allergic. Oh. I see. I sympathise. I have allergies of my own. In fact...

I feel as if I'm having somewhat of a reaction right now. I'm allergic to lies, you see. And when I'm exposed to them, I get irritable and short-tempered. I've been known to even break out in bouts of violence. Please, please, please, please, please, please. Where is he? Please, please, please. Where is Barney Stockdale? Please. He's here, isn't he?

Where? Balcony. On the fourth floor? Take me to him.

♪♪