THE MOMENT YOU REALISED YOU DIDN'T LIKE YOUR PARTNER...
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Did you know that foreign investors are quietly funding lawsuits in American courts through a practice called third-party litigation funding? Shadowy overseas funders are paying to sue American companies in our courts, and they don't pay a dime in U.S. taxes if there is an award or settlement. They profit tax-free from our legal system, while U.S. companies are tied up in court and American families pay the price, to the tune of $5,000 a year. But

But there is a solution. A new proposal before Congress would close this loophole and ensure these foreign investors pay taxes, just like the actual plaintiffs have to.

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- What's wrong? Nothing. I know you can't help yourself. - That! - You can't help yourself. - Help yourself. She's just eating chocolate. - And he's thinking, "God, you can't stop." You can't stop, can you? - Anytime you see chocolate, you have to eat it. - Guys. - Girls. - Can I ask a favor? - Yes, you can. - Do you mind if today, just to wibble wobble, can we do the question of the week at the end? - Sure. - Or somewhere in the middle? - Sure. - Just when we fancy it? - Sure. - Gang, I like it when we change things up.

- I'm a weird creature of habit. - Yeah. - But when it comes to being forced, even though there's literally no forcing. - Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. - Forced into routine, I get bored. - I know what you mean. - Just a quick switcheroo. - Do you wanna do? - No. Daddy fantasy will happen when daddy fantasy happens. - All right, all right. - Yeah, I don't, here's another, you can't tell daddy fantasy to pull up half an hour earlier. - Yeah, I don't know. - Then he won't have it. - Yeah, say less. - Yeah, he's gonna be a little grumpy boy. - All right, say less, say less, say less. - So yeah, he's not gonna have it.

But one thing I did want to say to start off, I had a very interesting interaction the other day at the petrol station. Okay. Indeed. So as you know, daddy hates small talk. Oh, who doesn't? Yeah, I hate it. I don't like small talk at all. And I went to the petrol station the other day, right? And...

At the BP station near my house, there's a gay guy that works there behind the counter. And there's a couple of times he's complimenting my car and said, oh, you can take me for a ride whenever you want. He, ha, ha, ha. Or, oh, if you want to leave me the keys, I'll give it back to you next week. He, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. I kind of just be like, shut up, man. Yeah. Yeah. Let me pay. Yeah. Yeah. I hate the small talk. The other day I went in there, right? And I see him. He calls me over and I'm like, gang.

"Pump seven, whatever." And he goes to me, "How's your day going?" I was like, "It's chill bro. "How's your day going?" And he was like, "Well, he did the typical, "haven't killed anyone yet." So I guess it's going so far so good. I said, "Ah, that's cool, man." I'm waiting to tap my phone on the Apple Pay. He said, "To be fair, even if I had killed someone," he said, "Even if I had killed someone, "there's no way I'm going back to jail."

I'd have to do a runner. I said, what? And I'm trying to be nonchalant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, right. And he was like, yeah, never going back there. He said, I thought it would be chill. Or going to jail. I thought going to jail would be chill. He said, I was someone's wife in 30 seconds.

He said they passed me around like nothing. - Oh. - I said, fam, and you know I was so livid. - Yeah, why? - I was trying my hardest not to laugh. - Yeah, yeah. - I was just like, I wanted to be like, why are you telling me this man? But at the same time I was pissing myself. And he was like, yo, someone's wife in 30 seconds. They passed me around like I was nothing. - Damn. - He was like, I'm never going back there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was exhausting.

And then he kicked me with the, anyway, that's 78 pound 50 pence. You can't just. Yeah, I was like, damn. Yeah. I was thinking.

This nigga's a comedian. He's a comedian. That was the single funniest experience of my life from a complete stranger. Cause I hate talking to strangers. So you could actually be really, really funny. And if you're just interrupting my day, I'm already like, whatever. You can say something really funny and I'm like, whatever, bro. And dude, this guy killed it. He killed it. And I left there and it was, that was a week ago. I've been thinking about it since. Not him, but it. Not it, but like the story.

- Not his, yeah, not his bail. - Not his adventures. - I was like, damn bro, off the cuff. - Yeah. - I said, if I had killed someone, I wouldn't have run. I ain't going to take me out to bed. I said that, they bitched me up in seconds. - 30 seconds. - 30 seconds I was someone's wife. - Passed me around. - A wife. - That's crazy. - Wife. - That's crazy, yeah. That's when you hold their fucking thing in it, no? - In their pocket. - Their pocket or something like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You hold it inside of their pocket.

Just to let everyone know that's my wife Nah man Question though for real I was streaming the other day You look like you want to say something No no just thinking Just thinking yeah yeah Jeez I was on prison TikTok the other day On stream On stream okay fair Yeah they go through it there Yeah And there's people on there doing TikToks And like showing their cell and stuff One thing I will say The washing up liquid they have using in there

Inhumane Washing up their clothes Yeah they're washing Because they wash their First of all they wash They wash their shit So they collect like little plates and bowls And maybe they'll get gifted some cereal Or some shit like that And there's like little bits in there And they use The same sink they wash their hands And wash their face And all that kind of stuff Is the same sink that they have to wash their pots And their cups and shit Brother They had What is it

I can't remember the brand name, but it's like the cheap, cheap, cheap brand that you'll get from like one stop or whatever. Yeah, I've washed it. I washed it up. It was like 79P washing up liquid. And I saw that and gasped. And I was like, they're really doing these boys dirty.

They're not going to get fairy-lipped. Yeah, they're not going to get fairy-lipped, but damn, bro. I don't even know if you'll find it on here because it's its own brand. I think I know what you mean. The logo's a shopping trolley, isn't it? Yeah! Yeah! They sell it at Londi's all the time. Yes, bro! Londi's!

- Lundy's bro is what I said. - Let me find it. - Lundy's is the fun example I use on stream bro. - Yeah. - Lundy's washing up liquid. - Literally the logo is like a basket. - No, you're a shopper. You're a shopper. - You're a shopper. - Yes bro. This shit right here. - Yep. - That's exactly what they had that man using in pen. - Yep. - I was like free, free wheezy hoe. That's what I said. 'Cause that's inhumane. And there's a guy doing, there's a guy doing get rid of me's and

- That changed the whole trajectory. - That's what your UK brother doing, get ready with me as well. - In jail? - That was a lot, yeah. He had a gym outfit. He had the yard outfit. - Yeah. - And boy, what, you know what broke my heart? He had a visiting day outfit. He was dressed up so nice. Yeah, he was dressed up real nice for his visiting day outfit. - Oh, that's heartbreaking. - Yeah, and then- - We don't know what he's done. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he could've hurt someone. - Yeah, but still heartbreaking. - Yeah, he still deserves- - Still a human being. - Yeah, and he was spraying himself and stuff.

And I was like, that's rough. And it was straight back to the trackies after visiting day. I was like, damn man, these men are going through it. But that's exactly the washing up look they had. And I was like, that's sickening. That's fucking sickening. I disagree.

- Fair. - I disagree. Like, I don't think, why do you think that's sickening? Because it's not fairy liquid or because it's not up to like- - Health code. - Because it's not up to like the UK civies law or whatever. - I don't know bro. It's just certain people get triggered by certain things. - And you're triggered by the fact that people in pen- - Yeah, are used in your shop or washing up liquid. - Washing up liquid. - Yeah, obviously yeah. - I think it makes economical sense. - Yeah, bro.

I think it makes like it just triggered me I don't know why it's just I was shocked by that okay okay I was shocked by that um and they were using radox shampoo not radox um two in one yeah so they're using radox two in one I was like this is diabolical um I don't know why it triggered me because I would see a god beat him up and I'm like to be fair probably did something real bad but and then you see this see the radox two in one I was like Jesus Christ yeah one pound 50 bro

They're giving it away. And that's Waitrose. - Fair. - That means that the corner shop is, that's a pound. - Yeah, fair. - Damn bro. Yeah, they're really suffering out there. - But you said, can I ask you a question? That's what you were gonna say. - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Can I ask you a question? Do you think you could actually make it 25 to life without Clark and the Bray if they were, if they were throwing- - I guess the answer's no. - If they were throwing nash at you?

Throwing it and top. Okay, let's not say nash, top. - Can I go 25 without top? - Do you think you could actually make it 25 to life without top? And then throwing it at you. - Yeah, but I'm, okay. I'm actually trying to put my mindset. - And to say, let's say you can't fap. Let's say your celly is one massive, massive prayer. And anytime he feels that bed wobble a little bit, he's like, "Sh, fucking stop it."

- Yeah, he's basing his fucking stop. - Put the fear of God in me. - You lose your butter immediately. - Immediately. - Immediately, yeah. And you know I can't do an imagination. - Yeah, you can't also. - I need a fake. - There's nothing. Every time you're yelling at us, I send you cheeks, God's confiscated. They just let you see a peak. - I have the envelope. - And peak there and they smash that, John. - I'll be like, God, please. Please. - God. God.

I'm like, please. Nah, bro. They snatched that. That's in the rec room. Oh God. 25 to life. If I'm actually, actually, actually deep in it, put my mindset in the life of a prisoner. The answer obviously is no. You won't be able to make it? I won't be able to make it. But I also, the thing is I can't disassociate the food head of right now.

Because I also can't justify the reason as to why I won't be able to make it. If that makes sense. - Yeah. - Because you're asking me this now and I'm thinking right now, of course I can make it. Because I've lived 34 years without getting top from a guy because why would I? Do you see what I'm saying? Do you see what I'm saying? But if I go down today and not be able to receive top again unless it's from a man, 25-2, perspectives might shift. - Yeah, okay.

Fair. - Perspectives might shift. - Okay. - I wouldn't be proud of it. - Yeah, I know you wouldn't be proud. But also there's no judgment in there bro. - There isn't, there isn't. - There isn't, there isn't. But let's say you're a top boy and they're not really, the ones who are judging ain't saying nothing. - Because I'm up there. - For some reason you're up there. - Yeah, but if also I'm up there, there's no reason why I shouldn't be getting a drawing in. - They can't do that. It's prison. - No conjugal's not. - Nothing bro.

No female guards, nothing. I was just about to say, no female guards, nothing. Nothing. Do you want top dog? No, no, no, no, no. I'm swaying someone. Bro, I'm telling you, they're not even letting you get nudes in there. There's no point in being a top dog then, is there? You still need to survive. You need to eat. Fair, fair. And people always work in their scenario. No one's going to...

You're not gonna be in pen, have the opportunity to be a top dog, realize there's no Tom, and be like, "What's my point? I'll give it to someone else." Someone else can be top dog. - Fair. - I'm just gonna be a little run around. - Fair. - Also, okay, so let's say you're, let's say respectfully you've made it 10. - Okay. - 10 years, you wouldn't. - I wouldn't. - 'Cause the first year is the hardest. Year one and two, you're breaking. - Yeah. - There's no way, no one's making it 10 and then breaking. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you're gonna make it after the first year. You're gonna break after the first year. Do you think you'd feel comfortable having a girlfriend

- Who's giving you regular top? - I'm doing, I'm not coming out. Is this the scenario? - You're not coming out of pen? - I'm not. - You're doing 25 to L. - Guaranteed. - Well, for the next 25 guaranteed, maybe 12 on good behavior, but that's not up to you, you don't know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So let's say you've gone in there under the assumption you're gone for 25. - What am I, 34? That's like 57. - Yeah, you're gonna be an old ass man, bro, when you come out. So like you've accustomed to this life. There's a rare throwing opportunity for top. You put him off for a whole year.

And then one day he's just gargling mouthwash. And you're like, for fuck sake. You get your top, you get your release. And you're like, let me get on with my day. I've got runners to do stuff. Now everyone's heard you got a big wood. All the galley have heard you got a big wood. - Galley is crazy. - And then- - Galley is crazy. - Do you think you would have a missus? Or would you just throw around and just get multiple throat? - In all, I don't think I'd have a missus. 'Cause I think, I think,

If I'm trying to put myself in prison shoes, I think if I had a missus, I would probably... How am I trying to articulate this? I'll be pissed off if they get released. And they can run around saying that here's my boyfriend. No, no, it's not even that. Because if that's my missus, I would make it known that she or he is only mine. Do you see what I'm saying? He's yours. He's yours. So I feel like...

If I know I'm staying in pen For me to start again Will be long Do you see what I'm saying So like I would I would also be bad mind And double down And make sure My wife doesn't leave And I don't want to be That kind of person Wow You're You'd want to commit a crime On their behalf So they have to stay in pen Do you see what I'm saying I keep giving you top Yeah yeah So I was like I think This is why I think I would just be Free for all Free for all Yeah Do you think you'd Do you think Top will be enough Or do you think You're developing to nyash I would like to believe Top will be enough

- I would genuinely like to believe top will be enough. - Cool. Last question. Do you think you're forever? 'Cause the first instance was survival. - What? - Yeah, the first- - Getting top? - Yeah, you got top because you can't think. - Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool. - You can't fap, you can't think, you can't do anything. - Yeah. - So now you've got the top. Do you think moving forward, it's still gonna be when you're at your wit's end? Or do you think it's just- - I'm 10 years deep? - Three, four, five, whatever. - Nah. - It's just whenever you want it. - I think it's just 'cause it's Wednesday, bro. - Damn.

I'm being honest. If I know I'm in pen for 25 plus. - I heard apparently, so Donnie's in pen. This has nothing to do with Nash. Donnie's in pen train themselves to fap quick. - Okay. - Fap nap quick because they have to do it on a sneaky ting. - Oh, why?

because you can't do like a five minute stroke sesh in your cell. - Oh, in your cell. I feel like in the shower or the toilet or wherever. - Wherever they're doing it. - Okay, okay, okay. - Apparently they train themselves to just have a free moment as caca and they learn to not quick just from fapping. And that's how they not like in pen, obviously. Unless you're Freigs and you're getting top from Donnie's. And apparently when they get out, it's really difficult for them to clap.

- That makes sense. - They can't nut from Tom. - That makes sense. I mean, you're accustomed, especially it depends on how long you've been in jail for. They're accustomed to their hand or whichever, whatever they're using. And that makes sense. - Yeah, there's no, there's also no, there's no romance anymore. There's no buildup. There's nothing. It's just like, I'm, I can't concentrate. I need to not, I just, quick, quick, quick nut. And there's no more,

I'm imagining my girl and we're kissing and I'm going down and she's topping me off. None of that. It's just done. That's the only way they can not. Oh, crazy. So yeah, when they get home with their girl, bro, nothing. They've completely disassociated from flesh. Similar to the dilemma we had on the log cabin. Log cabin. Patreon.com forward slash Justin Giggs. Come on. Do you, same questions for you. Do you feel like you would

Do you feel like you'd be getting yashed and all of this stuff? - Yashed never. Yashed would scare me. 'Cause if I saw a hairy battery hole, I'll scream. If I saw a hairy battery hole, I will scream and I'll know exactly where I'm at. I'll know exactly where I'm at. 25 to life, I'll gladly get top. Not gladly, but- - I know what you mean. - I will shake it off after. - Yeah, 'cause I'm here. - Yeah. - I'm here, bro. - I'll cry myself to sleep. The first night I'll cry myself to sleep.

Then after that, that's just what I do. That's what I do. I likes you and I wants you. - Likes you. - Yeah, it would, I really do feel like human beings just have incredible adaptability in general. And we can convince ourselves of whatever reality we need to convince ourselves to get through it. So top will just be top man. He said, gum is gum is gum.

But yeah, someone's wife in 30 seconds is terrifying. - That's barbaric. - Yeah. - Like you've not even put your ting on the bed yet. - Yeah, you're folded. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You've not put your oranges on the bed yet. - Yeah, man said, "I want that." And bro said, "Aight." - Aight, man. - Aight, man. - I'm not looking to die. - I saw a TikTok. I saw a TikTok of a gay guy who was just like, "Bro, jail's too much fun." He had glitter all over his face. And it was just like, "Jail is too much fun."

This is again, jail TikTok? Jail TikTok, prison TikTok, yeah. Prison TikTok, sorry. Yeah, he was just like, it's too much fun. He had glitter all over his face. Yeah, because he was just like a proud gay guy. Right. Yeah, and he was just on there just like, jail is a bowl. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's just pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe, pipe. We were having, remember we were having a conversation earlier

in the office downstairs I think a few weeks ago we were talking about money we were speaking about taxes things like that and how in certain countries taxes can be up 70 30 or even 80 20 sometimes depending on where you live then we're talking about why don't you just go to Dubai because it's tax free and blah blah blah and I was thinking because it just reminded me when you said prison is a ball he's having a great time he doesn't want to leave this that and the other

And I was thinking about this, I think last week, for example, I think Lawrence said like Finland or somewhere like their prisons are, their prisons are- Scandinavian prisons are lit. Scandinavian prisons are lit. And it's like,

- It's giving more, it just gives more people more ammo to not necessarily do bad things, but do things in a way that you can allow yourself to go to jail because your circumstances outside of jail are worse. So it's like, why? - So I feel like with this one, it all trickles down though. So for example,

- In that scenario, it'd be like, well, I might as well go to Penn because Penn is nicer than me being homeless. But there is no homelessness.

Because before the money gets to plush pen, it gets to homeless shelters or it gets to social housing or all this kind of thing. So like there's no homeless person to say pen is better. Pen is nice and it's nicer than other pens, but it's no, pen is not nicer. It's not like all the money goes to pen. All the money goes to everything of social decline that gets down to pen. Pen is still the worst. It's just banging in comparison to everything else. I refuse to believe that there isn't homelessness.

- I'm sure there is homelessness, but their care for homelessness is- - Yeah, it's the quality of the homelessness. - And like there is opportunities for them to not be homeless. - Fair. - Obviously there will be homelessness, but- - And in practice isn't allowing conjugal visits. - But even our pens are nicer than being homeless. So the same, same. - Yeah. - Yeah. - A homeless person doesn't not go to pen because it's like, I'd rather be homeless and go to prison. Our pen is still nicer than being on the streets.

But I guess it's just me comparing prison in America, UK, whatever, to Scandinavian prisons where they're like, they've got the plush sheets, they've got the fucking mattresses, they've got a sink of their own, a fucking wardrobe. I'm thinking, how was this rehabilitation? Yeah, I know. Well, they also have the lowest crime rate. Their prisons are empty. Yeah.

They're doing certain, right? I understand where you're coming from. - Yeah. - But they also have no- - I think I'm just playing devil's advocate in that. And I'm also uneducated in their system. So I'm like, I'm questioning myself as well as questioning you guys. - They probably have a better society. - Yeah, they're just better. - Yeah, they're just better people. They probably just got a better society. I don't think the reason the crime rate's low is because their prison is nice. - In smaller community base, often located near inmates homes and practices like allowing conjugal visits. Oh damn bro.

- That's crazy. - Yeah, Norwegian prisons were just lit. - That's crazy. - But yeah, they also have the lowest crime rates, lowest homelessness, lowest like they're just happier people in general. Interesting. I would love to understand it more, but yeah, they just fund different shit. I have a thread if you're interested. - I'm interested. - So we've done a very similar thread before and this one I have picked out some of the ones and I thought this one had me on the ropes of funny. - Okay.

- I remember we did a thread before that was like, when did you start hating your boyfriend? When did you start hating your girlfriend? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This one is just tell me the moment you knew you didn't like your partner anymore. The final nail in the coffin. When he realized he wasn't a size 10, but a size nine in shoes when I convinced him to cut his toenails. - Oh. - That's buzz. - That is buzz. - Turns out I'm a size nine. - Nine. I've been bragging I've been a 10. - Chatting about 10.

I've just got witch nails on my feet. That's disgusting, bro. Fright. Claws, man. Left a skid mark on the bed when he sat. On the bed? Left a skid mark on the bed when I was done being on top. She was riding him. A man's shitty body was scratching the bed. She rode him. Nah, bro. I promise you right now, yeah?

If I was a ting, there's no way I'm riding pipe to roll off after. And he'd be like, Jesus, get up to clean himself up. And there's a streak of shit on the bed sheet. I promise you now that's not happening. Yeah. I would kill him. I'm turned off forever. I can't look at you the same. The other one that I saw there was...

- Bro. - That hit later, boy. Shit. - Left a skid mark on the bed when he sat on it to put his socks on. - Oh, what? - Bro, what? - These man are not wiping their ass, period. - Why is he also putting his socks on naked? - He's ass naked, putting his socks on, stood up, there's shit in the bed. Do you know how many levels of icky you have to see in one second? Bent over, socks on, stood up, shit on the bed.

- You're like bro. - Who did I marry? - Who is this man in my house? Fucking funny to me. - I would pray to God, God forbid I'm ever in that situation. My wife humbles me. - Oh, if you left shit on the bed by your naked- - Not even just shit, like just doing something, like who puts on their socks before their boxers?

I need her to look at me and say, "Fix up." - Yeah, you got disgusting. - I would need that level of embarrassment. - Yeah, just what we said earlier on the Patreon, patreon.com/shitsandgeeks, three pound a month. - That'd be your day. - S and G. - And we did blood ranking and we said about, what is it, butters? I would expect to be told, "You're fucking butters, bro." - You're fucking butt. I'd be like, "What, what, what?" - "Look, you're putting socks on ass naked." Knowing me, I probably have a wife beater in the socks. - Yeah! Wife beater. - Dick swinging. - Baby dick out.

And then just socks on. Shuma, you're butters, bro. Belly button protruding through the vest. Yeah, belly button. And I'm breathing through my mouth. Yeah, you're struggling. Yeah, my God. You're fucking disgusting. Joke, man. Her scream would echo. Your...

I would spread it to open an Instagram and be like, look at my request. Look at my request. Why am I waking up here? Why am I waking up with you? Come to Dubai. Come to Dubai. Come to Miami. Come here. Let me take care of you. Fuck your job. Fuck your man. Can he fight? Can you fight? Can you? Look at you, you fucking buttless prick. You're breathless. Putting on a sock.

- Wow. - I would need that. - Yeah, I need that. I need that. I'd be better that day. - Oh my God. I would change so much about myself. As Ellie keeps saying, it's a mentality thing. - Oh yeah, it would be a mentality bro. - I would change so much about myself immediately. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'll go from boo to majin boo.

Wow. Analogy. I promise you, I'll transform from boo to marching boo. Analogy. Wow. Right. Next one. Sorry. Tell me the moment you didn't like your partner anymore. I was excited over our new big bed. We told my mom to get in and feel it. He jumped in quickly, farted and trapped her head under the covers. Man's hot boxing the mom. That is barbaric. In the new bed. What kind of sick fuck?

- Is this guy his partner's mom or his mom? - His partner's mom. - Yeah, as the girl, you don't even know what to do next. - You'll be mortified. - You don't know what to do next. - You'll be mortified bro. - Like this is who I'm with and this is what my mother has to now deal with. - And the mom's coming out, hair disheveled. Like what the fuck is going on? That's disgusting. - What the fuck was that?

Did you just fart and trap my head under there? I'm 55. Yeah, bro. That hurt. Literally. I don't have enough breasts to be wasting it on your dirty body. Oh my God. Yeah, butters, bro. Right. We lived a long drive from work. She wouldn't use gas station toilets when she needed a shit. And she felt bad for those after her.

So she'd make me pull over at random fields and alleys and she'd shit there. - Alleys? - Alleys. - And not that fields are any better, but they are better, but wow. - Alley ways bro. Babe, babe, babe, babe, please I need a shit. - Also I can't hear that. - I'm never hearing that. - I don't wanna hear that bro. - Yeah, I don't wanna hear that. - I just don't wanna hear it. - I don't wanna hear that. - Babe, I need a shit. - I need a shit. Find an alley, please. Let's find an alley, please. - I'm like, who if I'm married? - I would leave her there. Squat in an alley. - In an alley?

Because this is where you wanna be, right? 'Cause you don't wanna be with me. You definitely wanna have sex with me. - Yeah, that's disgusting. - What do you mean pull over and let's look for an alley so I can shit? Because I don't wanna use public toilets 'cause I feel bad for them after. What about me? - That just also shows her level of shit. I feel bad for them after. - Your guts are murked, bro. We'd be doing an intolerance test that day. - Yeah, have some yoghurt or something. You need some pre and pros. - Bro, prebiotics, probiotics. - You need some pre and pros, man. - Pre and pros. - Eat some yoghurt. - Yeah, wow.

The moment you stopped liking your partner, she was jealous of the attention I got while I was in hospital. I had heart failure. What? Yeah, the nurses were just moving too friendly. Told him to go home because I needed space. Later, asked him if he was home for him to say he was still at my house. He was hiding in a cupboard half his size. Seeing him crunched up made me want to be sick. Jesus Christ.

- Go home, I need space. - That's scary as well. - Bro, she said go home and he said, I'm gonna find a cupboard and hide in there. - And waited. - And just waited hours. And she said, are you home yet? I'm here. - I'm still here. - I'm still here. Open the cupboard and see him like that. - I couldn't read that, I'm still here. - Yeah, I wouldn't be there. I'd find space outside and then be like, reveal yourself. - Yeah, facts, 'cause that's scary. Reveal yourself.

He'd put his clothes on straight out of the washing machine, including jeans, saying they'll dry eventually and proceeded to hand me wet work clothes. That's barbaric. It's crazy, but I think that's the worst one. Yeah, that is the worst one I've ever heard. Straight out of the washing machine. Wet, just on. Bro, they're gonna dry. They're gonna dry. I've got water work. I've got an eight hour shift. I've got water. They're gonna be dry at some point.

- So what's the point of putting them in the dryer? That's disgusting. And then he took his work clothes off and hand them over and she says they're wet. - Wear them man. That's yeah, that's the worst one you've read. - Yeah, that's horrible. - I think that can't be real. - It can't be real. - That can't be real. - That can't be real, that's scary. That's scary. - Right. - Be honest though, have you ever wore like a, not out the washing machine, but I've done it before where I've washed them night before. - Yeah. - Put the jeans on the drying rack.

wake up in the morning, still a little bit wet, I'll whack them on anyway. Have you ever done that? - Jeans, no. - Jeans, never. - I can do it with like a tee or something. - I've done it with a tee before. - I'm livid about it. - It is horrible, don't get me wrong, but to be fair, it does dry though. I get his mindset in terms of it does dry eventually, 'cause I've had it where it's been wet around the belt and then it's dried and it's all right. - Do you know why I'm angry? As I was reading it,

I was gonna say, no offense, I feel like this is an Ellis thing. And I thought I would never say that 'cause that's fucked up. And then he proceeded to be like, not gonna lie,

- Not straight out of the washing machine though. That's immature for one, mate. You've not been taught. - For me, if it's wet, I'm ironing that bitch like crazy. And then there's happened times where I think it's okay. - It's a little piece damp. - It's just hot and I can't tell. So by the time it cools down, the bitch is wet. And I'm like, "What's on now?" - I've had that before. - Yeah, it's on now. - Right. One of his female friends drunkenly said I was out of his league. He was so fuming, he called his mum to say we're definitely in the same league.

Damn. Yeah. You know you're punching, right? Your girls are badders. You know you're punching. Swear. Mom, you'll never believe this fucking bitch just said, I'm punching with Caro. Damn. I like we're the same. She's punching, I'm punching. We're both punching. Damn. Yeah. Right. I was eating a chocolate bar and he looked at me funny. I asked what was wrong and he replied, nothing. I know you can't help yourself. Ha ha ha.

I know you can't help yourself. - I can't even get through it. - Nothing. I know you can't help yourself. You can't control it. You can't control it, you fat bitch. You can't control it. - Nothing, you can't help yourself. - You can't help yourself. - That is so peak. That's so peak. - That's the funniest thing I've ever read. That's the funniest thing I've ever read.

When I saw that you man, when I was writing it down, I was screaming in my yard. What's wrong? Nothing. I know you can't help yourself. You can't help yourself. She's just eating chocolate. And he's thinking, God, you can't stop. You can't stop, can you? Anytime you see chocolate, you have to eat it. You're hopeless. You can't walk past bar of chocolate without scrambling that bitch down. You need help.

- Fuck! - Fuck your stomach! - That's so funny. - I'm sweating. - That's so funny. - Oh God. - Oh, wow, that's mean, man. - Oh, it's so fucking horrible. Right. Oh God. He ate barbecue ribs for dinner. Then I saw him after work the following night. He still had it round his mouth.

- Whoa. - Yeah, yeah. - Whoa. - That's disgusting. - That's many levels of disgusting. - Yeah, that's disgusting. - That's layered. - Barbecue sauce round your mouth from a day ago. - That's layered, bro. - Bro, that means he didn't wash that night or the following morning. Then went to work and then came home to Linko Ting. - Yeah, he slept in the same position as after he ate. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro.

- I had his mouth. - That's crazy. - Barbecue sauce. - You feel like the dry. - The crustacean. - Yeah, you feel it. - Nah, he didn't feel nothing, bro. - He's used to it, bro. - He kept a bopping and everyone at work just let him crack on. 'Cause they know he's a sloppy bastard. - Yeah, that's also insane though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Right, last one. The moment you realize you didn't like your partner anymore. I found a rap he'd written on his phone. It was about him being with a mid chubby girl until he got his money up. He was five foot six with IBS. - Oh my God.

There's no way I'm finding a rap in my partner's phone saying I'm with some mid chubby you until I get my fucking money up. I just caught. So the rap was about his. It was about her. Yeah. Yeah. The rap was about her bro. She's the, she's the mid chubby ting until I get my money up through rapping. Fuck man. Just rap games are grand. I'm with a fucking mid chubby ting. Mid and chubby is horrible. Yeah. She would have read that.

I can't read that. - Yeah. - Mid. - Mid and chubby. - And chubby. - She would have dropped the phone. - Yeah, she would have dropped the phone shaking. - I'm trying to get my money up so I can step my pussy up. - So I can leave this bitch. - That's all he's thinking. I'm trying to get out of this rat race so I can leave this bitch. That's all he could think about. - Fuck. - Nah. - Do you know the state of mind you need to be in? - Oh, bro. - To scribble that down? To scribble that down?

- You keep that to yourself. - Bro, I need to leave this bitch. - Fuck. - Wow. - These times he's got IBS and he's 5'6". - Yeah, yeah, like. - Yeah, delusion. - Yeah, Lulu, bro. - Mindset. - Literally. - It's a mindset ting. - Right, so I have an update for fucking "Love on the Spectrum". - All right, love me. - I finished it last night. Let's pull up the cast again for me please, 'cause I have all the fucking tea. Okay, Abbie.

- Her man's David. So as I said last time, I hadn't watched up to where they'd been introduced, but they've been together for a couple of seasons. They've actually been, this is season three, they've been together since season one. - Okay. - So they celebrated their three year anniversary. - Question, sorry to cut you off. Why do, if they're, if they've been in a relationship since season one. - Why are they on Love on the Spectrum? - Yes, why did they continue their journey? - Because I think it's developed into we're looking for love and some of them have found love and- - They wanna see how it goes. - They wanna see how it goes.

- Do they do that with all people that have been in since season one and still have that same partner? - I think they've swapped a couple of people out, but I don't remember them ever swapping out people who have found love and then just ditched him and never gone back.

Most of them don't fall in love if I'm being perfectly honest. - Okay. - But these two, they found love in season one and they've kept it blossoming. David's is OG. - Okay. - David's a real guy. Pretty sure his family's caked. - Is this the one that- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Disneyland or whatever. - Yeah, he took her to Disneyland, took her to a safari. He takes her everywhere, bro.

And they're there They're just lips And then They So she's on a I wanna get married I wanna get married She loves animals Oh and he's like When the time's right When the time's right When the time's right And she'll always say Oh where are we gonna get married And he'll be like Oh San Diego Zoo And then He's down for that He's down for that He knows that she loves animals And she'll be like Oh cool cool And she goes Where are we gonna live And he said The house closest to the San Diego Zoo He's got all the bars He's got all the bars bro He knows And then one time

She was like, what's our life going to be like? It's like, we're going to go to the zoo and we're going to love animals and we're going to adopt a few kids. And she was like, or maybe I'll get pregnant if I stopped taking these birth control pills. I said, raw. She wants it. Yeah. Well, they, she's been getting it. Yeah. He's been banging her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And,

I was shocked. I was shocked. He's been banging her. I was like, damn, David, fair play. She was like, maybe I'll just stop taking these pills and then get pregnant. And then they role played her giving birth and it was nuts. She was like, the pain, please numb the pain. And he was like, breathe, Abby. And she was like, and they were both in a jacuzzi. She's like, and then they just snapped back into normal and just carry on talking. It's fucking nuts. It's fucking nuts.

- Wow. - She was like, "Please numb the pain." Bro, it was insane. - It's almost like method acting. - Yeah, bro. They jump in and out of scenarios. - Wow. - So funny. Right, so that's Abby and David. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. Adan, all right, cool. So obviously Adan, strong Christian guy. - Yeah, he's up on the fucking crosses. - Yeah, bro. There's crosses in his yard. - Yeah, I can tell, bro. - So he was obviously with Danny. Danny wanted dick.

That's all at this point she wanted. They've been together this down the year. I told you last time she made a little animation on their anniversary and all this kind of stuff. And she wants to get fucked. She wants to get fucked. I want to get fucked. Please fuck me. And he's like, I just don't believe in premarital intercourse. So he tried to blag it last time about safe sex. I'm scared of STDs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. Strap up. It's a no brainer. And then he was like, all right, tell the truth. Premarital, I'm not on it.

And she was like, wow, big man, but you know I'm on it and it's been a year. And I asked you about it and you said you were open to it. - They've been dating since season one? - Since season two, they've been together a year. - Oh, okay. - And then, yeah, so they've been together a year and then she was like, I'm ready to get clapped. And he was like, I just don't feel comfortable with it. She was like, but I've asked you about bedtime, you said you were open to it. He's like, yeah, I was open to discussing it. We've discussed it, I've thought about it, I'm not open to it. So she was like, all right, bro, all due respect, charged. Charged, I'm not.

I respect your boundaries. You have to respect mine. I respect your beliefs. You have to respect mine. And he was like, yeah, it's cool, bro. It makes sense. Like, I'm not going to clap you until we're married. And I'm also in no rush to marry you. And she's like, I'm trying to get clapped, bro. It's important to me. So they charged it. Moving on. Can't, Connor. My man, Connor. I have to rate. Sorry to cut you off. I have to rate their directness. I have to rate it. You don't.

Wait till we get to Tanner. - Wow. - Bro, I told you last time, Tanner was like, "Did you have fun?" "I had fun, I wanna be friends." - Yeah, yeah. - "I want to be friends." - I wanna be friends, yeah. - No, bro, he wasn't playing, Tanner doesn't play. - You have to rate it, man. - Bro, oh my God. So anyway, Connor, ah, this guy's the guy. - Yeah. - He's the guy, bro. So he patterned a little sweet one called Georgie, yeah? - Yeah. - Yeah, he patterned a little sweet one called Georgie. He's never, bro,

she's taking all of his boxes and he was always like, oh my God, where have you been all my life? And then like, my Georgie. And then like, he just loses it. And anytime she would like touch him or like whatever or stare at him, he was always like, oh my God.

- Is this the one with the family that says golf clap? - Golf clap. - Okay. - Yeah. - Locked in. - Yeah. His mum was riding for him. So it's Pat and Georgie and they've been on dates. They've been having a time, bro. And then they held a quick lips at the end. At the end of the season, they held her lips and he was, he was gassed.

- That was a really, really sweet story for Connor and Georgie. I'm happy for him. He's been in a couple of seasons, he struggled, but he's a really nice guy. Yeah, I like him a lot. - I believe you'll see him in season four after that. - Bro, yeah. So that's Connor. James, my brother. 37 year old James. - I suppose I can be a little bit tough to deal with.

He obviously, when I saw you last time, he's the one that was like, you don't like a vampire, but I bet you clean up on Halloween. Haga, Shank and Twispro, that was the most clutch bar I've ever heard. He's the same one that says, you run on a speed day and think I said I expected nose anyway, something like that. I've never had a match before, I didn't expect one now. His mum broke down.

I nearly broke down. That's Pete. I ride for James. I like James a lot. He's patterned himself a sweet one, but they spun it in in the last episode, didn't it? One little British ting. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, she came out of nowhere on his birthday. First birthday, he had a couple of his brethrens around just on a little fire pit chit chat situation. And then one journey just pulled up and we were like, who's this? She hasn't been introduced. They were just talking, talking. Then all of his brethrens left. It was just them two there. And he was like, I don't want to be presumptuous, but do you think...

We are officially Boyfriend and girlfriend And she's like Yeah bro And he's like Yeah gang Lips What? Out of nowhere Bro they swiveled that in It must have been a time Where they weren't filming And all of a sudden He's patting a ting Okay And apparently They have a song together Instead of the end credits Yeah he made a fucking Rock song For a

I can't remember what it's called. I think it's called like Heavy Metal Queen. It's like, you're my heavy metal queen or something like that. Yeah. But yeah, he made a song for her at the end. Yeah, he did. He made a song for her. It looked clutch. I think she was through Instagram. I'm pretty sure they said that it was through Instagram.

Fair play. Yeah, bro. He was gassed to have her, man. I was happy for him as well. He's really struggled. Fair play. And he just tries, bro. And he's always counting. He always understands the things that are wrong with him.

Okay. He understands he struggles to compromise. He understands that like he doesn't like pets, but some people do. He understands that people have kids, but he doesn't want kids. And he's willing to try and compromise, even though he knows he finds it difficult, which is like he's super aware, bro. And he's trying his best. So I'm glad he's patenting. That was really, really nice to see. Madison. Yeah. Listen, yeah. Madison.

- Remind me of what we got to it. Oh, she used to eat shit. - Yeah, when she was a little kid, she used to eat shit. Listen, yeah. So she's never had a kiss, never got on a date, never done nothing. I told you last time she went on a date, her first date was a guy who was like so overwhelmed he had to put his head on the table. - Yes. - It was peak for her. So she met one little Southern brother, yeah, called Tyler. - Tyler. - Tyler, yeah. - Yeah, Tyler. - He's a sweet guy.

This guy is scary. So basically they met, they went on a date and he was saying all the right shit. So she's there like, oh, I love...

"Walks on the beach, do you like walks on the beach?" He's like, "Hell yeah." And he's smooth and he's like, "Yeah man, I like walks on the beach." And he's got a cowboy hat and he's like, "Yeah." And he's like, "I like country music and I work as a DJ and I like to help people with autism do this and that." And then she's like, "Oh my God, that's literally what I like." And he was like,

He has a special interest. They will have special interests. Hers is dolls and making bracelets and jewelry. His special interest is country music and DJing and shit. So he was like, oh, I can name any country song in the world. I can name what note is in. And then she'd be like, what's this one? He'd be like, C sharp.

C, A, B. How does she know? Is she researching? Is she good? No, she just trusts him. Oh, fair play. And he's like, yeah, I love that song. And I think about you. And da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And she, on their second date, she was like, can I be honest? And he's like, yeah, be honest. And she's like, I haven't stopped thinking about you, Tyler. I haven't stopped thinking about you one day since we've been gone. And he was like, same. Yeah.

- Same here, yeah, same here. And then he pulled up with a little Pandora bracelet for her on the second day, got her a present. She loves Christmas, so he bought her a present, wrapped it in Christmas wrapping and said, "Could you love Christmas, dah, dah, dah." Sweetened her up. Then they went on the beach for a little walk and all this kind of stuff. He's like, "Yeah, yeah." She was like, "Bro, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I want you to be my boyfriend, second date." He's like, "Yeah, I'm down for that." And then they lipsed. But when they lips, it's scary. It's aggressive for you, Ad. - Oh God. - It's really aggressive.

And both her eyes are wide open as well. And they really go for it. And he has, you can tell, he doesn't have to control his strength. So when he wraps his arms around her, he yanks her in. Oh my God. And then she's just there like that. Oh my God. And just like lips in. And bro-

So after that, the boyfriend and girlfriend, they're lips in. Everything's blessed. She wants him to meet her family in it. So mom, dad, brother. This guy's gone. Your mom, dad, brother, bro. And then he pulls up.

This is my boyfriend Tyler. What's up man? Nice to meet you, mom, dad. And they're like, oh my God, this guy's so nice. They start lipsing in front of the parents. And the dad's like, okay. All right, that's cute. That's cute. 10 seconds later, lipsing again. 10 seconds later, lipsing again. They won't stop lipsing. And now all of a sudden they've gone from calling each other Tyler and Madison to baby, honey pie, sweet cake,

- It's escalated. - It's escalated in the parents yard and they're just lips in and lips in and lips in and lips in and lips in. The dad's losing his shit. - I can imagine. - They're trying to keep cool. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - The dad's losing his fucking shit. - I can imagine. - And you can tell he wants to get your fucking hands off my daughter now because he's never seen any, she's never had a kiss. She's never had a boyfriend. She struggled with her life just to operate in society.

And now there's a grown ass man grabbing her as hard as he can, lips in the shit out of her. And she's literally just dangling there. - Eyes wide open. - Eyes wide open. The dad's losing his mind. And you can tell he's trying to be as polite and understand as possible, but he's like,

And there's a couple of times where he's like, ooh, okay, guys, please. And they don't stop. They don't stop lipsing. That's awkward. It's bothering him. He's speaking through his teeth as well. He's like, I'm going to have to get a hose out on you too. I'm going to get the hose out on y'all. He's struggling with it. He's fucking pissed. I would be as well. It really...

It really, it's, when I say the ellipsis is so intense, they might as well be fucking in front of him. That's how like night and day who they were to who they are is. In the parents' eyes, they might as well, Tyler might as well be bending her over the kitchen counter. It's shocking to see. It made me really uncomfortable. You talking about it makes me uncomfortable. Okay. Have we got anyone else? Ah, Parry. Okay, cool. So she's gay and she found a little blind ting or a ting with like a,

She described her sight impingement as like she can see stuff, but sometimes her brain doesn't- - Process it. - Process it. - Yeah. - Okay. - I assume that meant, for example, she could see a wall and just like walk into it 'cause her brain hasn't processed. So she has like a stick. - Okay. - To put obstacles and shit. - Okay.

These man were on it. First date, they were blushing at each other, had a good conversation. Second date, lips and lips and lips in. Every man was lips in this season. But they had, she was only in it for like not very many episodes. I think I told you before she's obsessed with trains. And yeah, she was just, they had a good time. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. So he found himself a little joey finally as well. Yeah.

I don't know if they patterned long term though. I'm trying to think of the credits. No, they didn't. Yeah. I think they were just friends again. Yeah, because he can't... If he's... So Tanner's tactic is he'd be like...

do you like boats and she'd be like yeah i like boats and he'd be like do you like trains yeah i like trains do you like cars yeah i like cars and he'd be like i like us too do you want to know what i like and then she'd be like what he'll say random i like hats i like rings i like watches i like tires and i like roads okay and then he'll be like do you like horses and she'll be like ah they're okay and i'm like

That's funny because I do. Okay. Well, that's funny little miss. People have to like what he likes. But he tries his best. If you like what he likes and don't like what he doesn't like, then we can get along just fine. And he even says, that's okay because people can like different things and still get along. And she's like, yeah, of course they can. But you can see he's done with you behind his eyes. Yeah.

He's saying one thing. He's seeing and thinking another. Sheldon. Yeah, bro. It's Kevin Sheldon. And the thing is, he'll lose interest over the smallest little thing. He'll be like, oh, I like fucking...

"Ketchup on eggs. Do you like ketchup on eggs?" And she'd be like, "Ah, not really." And he'd be like, "Right." So what the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing here wasting my time? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So that's what he likes. He likes to go through the whole day and say what he likes and what he doesn't like. And if you're not on there, 'cause he had a little journey, first date,

She was just doing a little doormat thing. Whatever he likes, she likes. Whatever she likes, he likes. They're trying to be amicable. And he's thinking, this is the love of my life. She likes everything I like and she doesn't like anything that I don't like. And he also has such a big personality that he wants people that have big personalities. So this thing that he was linking, she had a big personality. Second date rolls around now. Things are getting a little bit more comfortable. She's like, do you like horseback riding?

He's like, I don't like horseback riding. I actually don't like horses, period. She's like, well, I like horseback riding. And he was like, that's cool. I like frogs. Do you like frogs? And she's like, I don't like frogs. And he's like, this fucking bitch. Well, I like frogs. Yeah. So where do we go from here? And then hop, skip, jump.

Yeah, we're brethrens again So I don't know how we're gonna find him The love of his life But she's out there man because he's a real guy And they Bro, he's such a cool dude He does struggle to compliment a little bit Okay He compliments himself just fine Because they'll be like, oh Tani you look so handsome He's like, I know, I look so handsome don't I And I know, I look really nice and I'm such a stud And I'm really really charming Him and his sister have conversations though

- In what sense? - They're just cool, man. Like his sister loves him. He loves his sister and his sister's name is called Midge. And they're like, "Midge, Midge." - Is his sister on the spectrum at all? - Nah, she's chilling. But she looks exactly like him. - Okay. - So like, every time she speaks, she has the exact same expression as him. And then I'm just like, "Oh, they're just like twins having a conversation." It's crazy. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - But nah, fuck I love Tanner, man. He keeps it real, bro.

Tanner keeps it real. He's not willing to entertain bullshit, dude. Fair play. But yeah. Oh, I love them so much. That's cute, man. I really do love them. They're so cutthroat and they're so funny. The lips in from Tyler and Madison needs to stop.

That's scary. It was scary. That's very scary. I promise you, I had to stop looking. It was really... Eyes wide open is insane. Yeah, it was nuts. It was really, really... It was stressful. Right, guys. Daddy fantasy? Let's do it. I have a question for you. Yes. So let's say we were engulfed in the fourth wing universe. So for caveat slash context, guys, I have been listening to the audio books of said book. Oh, sick. Golf Club. Golf Club. I've been listening to Fourth Wing on Audible and...

I obviously know the storyline, but it's nice to just know the whole thing, you know? So my question for you is, do you think, well, first question, do you think you would survive crossing the parapet? - I'd have to survive crossing the parapet. I would be really, really scared, but I think, I do think I would survive it. - Okay. Obviously height as well. - It's really high. - Yeah, it's high. We both know you don't fare well with height. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do believe I would make it. I have pretty good balance. Okay. And I have done shit, not like that, but like anything that's like go ape or whatever. I'm not the one that's usually like slipping and falling. Okay. Even though I am scared of heights and all this kind of shit. So I think I would be okay. But that would be enough for me to turn back and go home. Okay. Cool. Another question. Yes, sir. Let's say...

In this scenario, we're still boys. We are in the fourth wing universe and I'm crossing the parapet before you. You're right behind me. But let's say it's, it's timed in the book as well, right? You have to reach there. No, no, no. But let's say it's time. But there's people, yeah, there's people come behind you. There's people come behind us so you can't really slow the pace down because people need to cross. People want to fucking get into the wing. So let's say I'm crossing before you.

And I'm like halfway through and you're like a quarter of the way through. But you've got an op that's just about to start and he's darting towards you. And he's going to jack barter me? Yeah, he's going to jack barter you. But I'm midway, you're 25 and he's zero. I happen to slip and I'm holding on for dear life. And Gust is swaying man from left to right. Would you hop, skip and jump over me? Or would you try and save me so we can cross together?

Am I certain that Jack, because in the book, Jack pushed someone off before he got to, oh, I have to leave you, bro. You'd have to leave me. If there's someone chasing us. Yeah. Not us. Me. Yeah. There's someone chasing me. Yeah. And he will push me off. Yeah. You're hanging on. Yeah. I don't know if you can get yourself up or if you can't. But if I stop to pull you up, I know he's going to catch up to me and push me off.

- No, no, no, I'm not, he doesn't, it's not guaranteed that if you help me, he catches up and pushes you off. It's a risk you have to take. - If I thought it was 50/50, 50% chance that if I stop, he's gonna catch up, 50% chance that if I stop, he won't catch up, I would save you. If it's 60/40, more likely I'm gonna die and you still have the ability to pull yourself up, fuck that.

Fuck that. - Fair. And do you think, would it change your option or your decision if you hop, skip and jump over me and as he gets to me, calls your name, James, and he fucking kicks my hand and you watch me fall and you can't even hear me crash because the waves take me. And he's just looking at you down the lens like you're next. - His neck will be gone by the time he reaches. I would do a violet. I'm like, what is it? What is you fat prick?

How could you do that to him? - He's doing all that to get to you. - Yeah. It would scare me. I'm not gonna lie, it would scare me. - He doesn't give a fuck. - There's only so, I realized, there's only so much fear I can take before I have to rebel. - Fair, fair, fair. - You can't have me doing, ah, ah, ah, I've got the power, but like he's gonna get me.

And then I've skipped over my own friend out of fear of you to then make it to the end for you to kill my friend and call me out in front of the whole school. And me still be, nah, enough is enough. I'll take my shirt off. Enough is enough. I'll bear my, I'll take my arm, my jacket's got armor off. Fight me for real. Yeah. A little slice on this. Is this what you want? You want my blood?

- Fair play. - Yeah, that's all I'd have to do. - Fair play. - You? Would you save me? - I'll try. I'll try. Like the thing with me, right? I would jump over you so I can pull you up this way so we can keep momentum going. I feel like it's one of them ones where if I pull you twice and you're not, there's no leverage from your end. - Yeah. - I've done my best. - You can't part save me a dip. I'd rather you leave me altogether than pull

- Pull and then be like fuck it. I'll do my best and then dip. - 'Cause you're not putting in any effort. You're letting God take you for no reason. Help me help you. - I'm trying. - Help me help you. - I've been hanging here for God knows how long. I'm exhausted. - Fair. - But right, anyway, Iron Flame catch up, right?

So things have fucking developed. Where did we stop? So where we stopped was graduation. They parted ways. They parted ways. Zayden's gone to his thing. They meet each other every two weeks. It takes a week to get there. I'm locked in. Come on, man. All right, cool. So now we're in there now and...

basically on a Harry Potter thing you know how on Harry Potter the what do they call it dark arts the the dark arts teacher yeah the dark arts teacher is always changing every year yeah yeah yeah Major Varish has now been introduced into the school he's like the new vice principal or some shit and he's been renowned he used to work as a torturer

And they kicked him out of being a torturer because he kept killing the people he was torturing. So his interrogation methods were just killing all of the... Students? No, not students, like war criminals. So before he was a teacher, he was working as like, he'll capture the enemy, interrogate them, and he'll torture them to get information. But he kept killing them. Now, he's there now and he's there to fix up the school.

Colonel Atos has brought him in and be like, oh, you man have been too soft. Da, da, da, da, da. So anyway, now, second, second, they're all second years now. Parapet time has rolled around again. Oh. They have to do it every year? They don't have to do it again. But they, no, no, no. They don't have to do it again. The first years have now arrived. Yeah, yeah, okay. I was, I was,

- Because you said it's second year and parapet time is a ride. - Oh no, no, sorry. - I think they have to cross it every single year. - Never. - I charge the score. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. It's ridiculous now. I've already proved I can do it. - Facts, I'm here. I've got my dragon. - I'm bonded. I'm fucking bonded. - I've got my dragon. - But yeah, so. - It's 10 by the way. - 10? - Yeah. - It's 10. Okay, cool. I said, I think I've been saying 10 for the last few. I think the first time I was saying 10. 10, right, so.

Anyway, Violet's now a second year and she has to wait at the parapet while the first years go. Okay. So on the finish line at the beginning. At the beginning where she met Zayden. Okay. So she's where Zayden was. Okay. And she's with Dane and then her brethren's, right? So anyway, they're watching people pull up to the parapet. All of a sudden, Liam's sister pulls up.

So he's not on there because it was becoming too many names. Yeah, remind me of Liam. So Liam is Zayden's foster brother. Okay. Who died trying to protect Violet. When they were fighting the Venene, he crashed his dragon into one of them and then died. Yeah, I remember. Him and his dragon died. I remember. Before he died, he said, please look after my little sister. His little sister's now pulled up. As a first year. As a first year. She's now, Violet's gone over to her and been like,

I'm gonna look after you. Everything's gonna be fine. Tie your hair up. Please make it across the parapet. Let's just get the fuck off me. Get the fuck off me. I know who you are. It's your fault my brother's dead. He died protecting your busted ass. Get your fucking hands off me before I kill you myself.

She's like, bro, chill, chill, please, bro, please. I'm just trying to help you. Help yourself. Get the fuck off me. So she goes, she crosses the parapet. Violet's like, it's going to be a tough year. I'm going to look after this girl. Next up, you know, they have the king. You wouldn't have met him yet in your book, but they have a king. Okay.

One of the princes has now gone as an alias and he has snuck himself in under a different name to be a first year as well. Violet, because of her mom, knows who he is. No one else knows who he is. So Dane, because of his dad, Violet, because of his mom, they both know he's a prince. But he's like, shut your fucking mouth. And they're like, does your dad know you're here? Because apparently the prince's older brother died in that school as well. Okay.

So the king will lose his shit. They mentioned that. They mentioned that bit, yeah. So they know the king's going to lose his shit if they find out his son is in there. So anyway...

They cross the parapet. They're all second years. La-di-da-di-da-di-da. Violet's trying to crack on. Zayden's a day late now. It's been eight days and he's still not arrived. So she doesn't know if he's dead or alive. And from that distance, Tan can't talk to Scale. She can't sense Zayden. Tan can't sense Scale. They're all just like, what the fuck has happened? So Scale's... Tan's cranky. Tan's cranky.

So anyway, do you remember when they first crossed the parapet, all the first years get there and then Zayden addressed all the first years and scale rocked up and there's loads of other dragons and they scared everyone. And I remember saying, they're gonna sense for fear. Don't run, don't do anything. - I listened to that yesterday. - Gang. That now, Dain's turn. Dain is now the Zayden. He's the wing leader. So he tries to pull up and Violet's like,

Fuck this pussy. Every 10 minutes, she's like, you're no Zayden, bro. You're no Zayden. You can try and try and try. You're no fucking Zayden, bro. And he's like, shut up. Just let me do my job. I get we're not boys anymore. Let me do my job. So he's trying to address the first years. He pulls all the dragons up. His dragon, a few other dragons, and Major Varys' dragon is there, Solas. And he's got one eye.

And he's a mean motherfucker. So anyway, chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting. All the first year is like, oh, dragon, scary, scary, scary. Violet and the other friends are being like, do not run. Do not anything. The dragons are going to sense the fear. Don't do it. Bro, two first years say, fuck this shit. Solas bends over, opens his mouth.

Gah, fire. It's coming directly at Violet. She jumps over Liam's little sister, puts her on the floor. Fire, fire. Kills her whole wing. - He doesn't give a fuck. - He doesn't give a fuck, bro. Kills bare people. Bare people. - Only 'cause two people dipped. - He killed the two people as well as like a hundred other people. Violet's got a nasty burn on her back. And everyone was like, what the fuck was that?

Tern now is in Violet's mind and he was like, what the fuck just happened? She said, this crazy ass orange dragon with one eye just burnt the whole fucking place down. Killed like a hundred people. Tern said, Solas is there? Oh, so Tern isn't with Violet at this point? No, he's fucked off. So Violet asked Tern, do you not want to pull up for the little showcase? And she said, I'm not a dancing monkey. Been there, done that. He said, I'm never...

I'm never doing parlor tricks for you little kids. You don't know who I am. She's like, fair, fair, fair. It was like, you'll never see me doing little pilotings to scare first years, bro. I'm fucking 10. So she's been like this orange fucking dragon has just burnt, killed a hundred people, fucked up my back. 10's like, Solas is there? She's like, you know him? He said, one minute. Pulls up. Yeah. He roars, bro. He roars, bro.

He flashes because he roars and everyone else can only hear a roar but Violet hears what he says and he says, "You have no right to burn what belongs to me." - Oh damn. - Solace says, "What is it?" Ten says, "Swear." Do you know what he says to him? He says, "Be grateful for the eye I left you." Solace flees. Solace flees. - Be grateful for the eye I left you. - Be grateful for the eye I fucking left you. Don't ever burn my property again.

He flees for God Fair play He flees bro What does Major say? Major just pulls up Like 10 minutes later Oh Major's not there When it happens He wasn't there When the burn happened But he came in As 10 did that ting Okay He saw his dragon Flee off Flee off Looks at Violet And then Violet's like If he wasn't my enemy before Varys is my enemy now

- Damn. - Juicy. - That is juicy. - Juicy. So then we move in now. So that goes over, everyone's pent up, everyone's doing their thing.

and it came he roared bro everyone was terrified because i'm imagining it yeah because i'm listening to the books yeah bro i have an imagery of everything bro so then they move in and it's sparring practice okay yeah yeah so they're chilling chilling chilling chilling second years don't have to do shit the first years are just kind of figuring stuff out yeah so then um

I can't remember her name. Liam's little sister basically gets called to the map and she's fighting the prince. - Okay. - So when the teacher calls her to the map, she says, fuck that, I wanna fight Violet. The teacher says, relax, we don't do all that kind of stuff. She's like, I'm gonna fuck, I'm gonna fuck her up. Violet, now you wouldn't know this yet, but Violet's been getting trained by Imogen, who's friends with Zayden and a couple other people. So she was like, I'll fuck her up, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.

Tij is like, I promise you, you won't. I've been watching Violet for a whole year. She'll twist you up. So anyway, she's scrapping the prints, they're sparring, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There was, I forgot to say, there was a Jack Barlow wannabe on the parapet who did exactly what Jack Barlow did. He's fucking huge. And he literally sprinted across the parapet like it was nothing, dashed people off. And then we're like, oh, we've got another one on our hands. We've got another one on our hands. So anyway, pulling up, pulling up, pulling up, chilling, chilling, chilling.

That Wham guy has just beat someone. He's come off the mat. And then Violet's friend Nadine has gone like, oh no, Riddock or one other brethren has said like, ah, Sorengale is mad that the homegirl was calling you out. The big Wham brer says, did someone say Violet Sorengale?

Nadine, who's Violet's bredrin, guys, here we fucking go, turns around and just says, yeah, I'm Violet Sorengel. Nice to meet you, Belend. He says, yeah. Cracks her neck. She drops him for a midi. Nadine, gone. Nadine's charged. Like it was butter and bread. Damn. Cracks her neck. Damn.

Cracks and actually dies immediately Everyone's like What the fuck just happened Violet sees red I can imagine She pulls two daggers out Yeah she pulls two daggers out And she was like What the fuck And he's like So wait Who's Violet then And she's like Me nigga She throws She throws the daggers at him And he's like Oh shit Stab stab He rips them out Throws Boom boom boom boom boom

goes to hook her, she slides under him, kicks his fucking leg, slices his Achilles, he drops, he's like, "Ah, shit!" She goes, and then she goes to do something, he grabs her leg, flips her, and pulls her. As she's getting yanked, she goes, "Bitch," bang, breaks his nose, bang, breaks his fucking jaw. He's like, "Bah, bah, bah," ignoring it, rocks her in her face, gets on top of her, strangling her, bro, die!

Die. And then he pulls up into her and says, the people who keep the secrets die with the secrets. Then she clocks. Colonel Atos has sent this guy to kill me.

This guy's an assassin. And she knows it's true because Mira, her sister, because so many people hate Lilith Sorengel, Mira had the same issue when she was in school. Someone who hates her mom had sent an assassin to kill Mira and Mira killed the assassin. But she knows, so everyone else thinks, oh, they've sent an assassin because they hate her mom. She knows Atos has sent an assassin here to kill me because he's talking about these secrets thing.

Strangle, strangle, strangle, strangle, strangle. She manages to get another dagger, kidney, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab. She's actually like 20 times he dies. And she's there like, rocked, rocked, rocked, battered, bruised, rocked, like slumped on the side like that. Everyone has to hold her up. Everyone's panicked. The teacher's like, "Go to the hospital now, bro. You need help." She's like, "Fuck that. I'm not going anywhere. This day last year, I was dragged out of here. I'm not going out like that again."

sits there, stunned. - Violence. - Yeah, violence bro, violence. - Yeah, violence. - So the day ends, she's murked bro. She stumbles upstairs, opens her bedroom door. - Zayden's chilling. - He's chilling. - He's waiting. - He's chilling. And then she tries to hold still 'cause she still hates him because of the lighting. She's like, "Babe." She falls into him. - I'm mad. - "Babe, where have you been?"

Where have you been? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He cradles her and says, what the fuck happened? She said, oh, this happened to happen. He said, shut up, I know. Scale told me everything. What the fuck? He's like, let me find him. I'm going to kill everyone. She's like, relax, just hold me. Just hold me. He just bathes her and they just relax all night. And then literally they're together two hours. Zayden has to go home. And then we ended there.

Damn. Yeah, it's getting juicy. It is getting juicy. It's juicy, bro. It is getting juicy. So yeah, I'm enjoying it, man. Same. Like, this was a very, again, because I'm a lot more deeper into the audiobooks, I've gained a lot more context, even though you have been explaining it to me.

I understand it more now because I understand a lot more of the characters and stuff like that. Where I'm up to now is Violet has just gotten Tern and Dana. They've written it in the books that these are my dragons. The 3v1 was crazy, I lie. The 3v1. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy. And I didn't know that they could speak to the dragons or the dragons could hear. Obviously, when you were explaining, I think you didn't mention that part. So I was...

I didn't know how they communicated. So obviously they showed that part or they read out of that part. So that bit is good. And I think, yeah, that's the main crux of where I'm at at the moment. It's good, man. - It's juicy, bro. - It's good. And I didn't know that Brennan left a book for Mira, which Mira then passed on to Violet. - And it's just been following through for the year. - Yeah, it's sick. - She's reading the stuff. I'm like, oh, this is from Brennan, page 50, this, that, and the other. - It's good. - So yeah, man. They did mention that there is another,

Because Tern is meant to be... Tern is a black dragon, the biggest one. Second biggest. Yeah, because they mentioned that another big dragon came about. The other big black dragon, pause, is the Lilith's boss, the ultimate general. So he goes, king...

General, then Lilith general, then everyone else. The other general, they would have mentioned, he can see the outcome of battles before they've happened. Okay. He has the biggest dragon. Okay. And he rules all the dragons and then Tann is like second in command. Yeah, because he pulls up for some reason. I can't remember why. Threshing, right? Threshing, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he pulls up at the end of threshing. And yeah, he's the biggest dragon. Because yeah, yeah.

He pulls up and then Tan squares up towards him and then like she's in between like his clothes or something. So yeah. Crazy. That was it. Crazy. But yeah, that's Daddy Fantasy for this week. It's good. It's good. That's sweet. Bro, he came in a rod. That's sweet. I can imagine. Okay, cool. Be grateful for the eye I left you. Be grateful for the eye I left you, bro. That's insane. Yeah, it was a bar. He fled, bro. I'm very, very excited for this to turn into a series. I really hope it's done well.

- Same. - I really hope it's done well. - It's always up and down with these things, man. - Yeah, I hope it's not like, what's that Lord of the Rings series remake, T?

- Rings of Power. - Rings of Power. - First season was so dead. - They're both dead. - They're like the biggest budget show or something. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's insane. - It's so unfair, man. So I really, really hope it follows the footsteps of like House of the Dragon, Lord of the Rings even as well. And as well as Game of Thrones. - Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, them times. Yeah, bro. So good. - I really hope. - Yeah. And it's tough when, it is tough as well when you,

it's so much harder to be satisfied with a show when you've read the books. - This is why I don't read books. - Yeah, because- - That's why I've always said I don't read books because- - They're never gonna get it perfect. - They can't. - They can't, it's impossible. - They can't. - And everyone's imagination is unique. So when the director or whoever writes the show or the film, they're doing it from their perspective. And then your perspective could be slightly different. And they'll be like, "Oh, they didn't do this right. They didn't do that right." They're not gonna get everything right. - And there's so much complexities, even in halfway through the first book that I'm in,

that halfway through can be a season. It can't be, they can't rush it. - Yeah, 100%. - They can't rush it at all. - I would, this is why I ride for animation. It's so much easier to get it right. - 100%. - It's so much easier to get it right. And for me, I know a lot of people don't like animation, for me, it hits home. - It does hit home 'cause everything, how you've imagined it is how you'll see it. - Yeah, exactly. They can do whatever they want. - They can do what they want with it.

Yeah. If they animate this. It'd be crazy. Damn. If they animate this. It'd be crazy. It would be crazy. Yeah. Sick. Anyway, question of the week. Question of the week. Wow. Guys, thank you for sticking around for this long. But the question of the week this week is, what's your most embarrassing memory from school? And I'm just going to jump right in. Shit slipped through my shorts in gym class during tug of war. Oh.

You were straining. Shit slipped through the shorts. Through the shorts during tug of war. That's disgusting, bro. That's insane, bro. The time I was lining up for PE in year eight in the playground and a bird decided to shit on my head right in the middle of everyone. Imagine their reaction. Touch wood. I've never been shot on before by a bird. It's horrible. Yeah. It happened...

I was this close, this close for it to happen in, I think it was the tail end of the America tour in New York. And I went to a store, I think I was looking for like cargos or something. And I came outside and the guy was like, oh, you Fuhad X, Y, and Z, blah, blah, blah. And he came and he worked in the shop. He came out.

Let's say I'm here by the door. He's literally at the edge of the door here, but shot on his hand and he was giving me a phone or something. Shot on his hand. - Oh, damn. - I was this close. - What was your reaction? - I didn't know what it was. I heard something, but I didn't see anything. And he was like, "What? Did a bird just shit on me?" I was like, "I took two steps back." - I bet, bro. - I took two steps back. - I bet, bro. Don't touch me. - I carried on with my day. - That's dread. - Carried on with my day. What's your most embarrassing memory from school?

I wanted to hear how the word oral was pronounced, but I had my phone on loud volume in the library. Oral. Oral. Yes. It's going to sound so monotonous. So robotic. Right. Most embarrassing memory from school. I had a crush on this new guy in primary school. He became popular. I didn't. So I admired from afar. I put a note in his bag saying he's got a secret admirer and to meet after school to find out who it is.

My friend met with him because I was too scared. He told her I'm too fat. Someone replied to that and said, was this a wake up call or are you still fat? The internet is out of control. Oh my God. Someone needs to regulate it because that's out of pocket. Was this a wake up call or are you still fat? Out of pocket is correct. Wow, bro. You shouldn't be able to comment on stuff like that. Yeah, you can't, man.

- What's your most embarrassing memory from school? In year five, I snuck into swimming group A from swimming group C and almost drowned trying to show off. - I bet, I bet. You don't fuck around with the swim groups, bro.

almost drowned trying to show off. - Bro, you don't fuck around. They used to do ribbons when I was in school. They used to make me wear the little speedos 'cause we weren't allowed to wear trunks. I had a little blue ribbon on mine. I tried to pull up and apply for green ribbon. So I remember there was a bitch in the year below me. And I was like, how is she a year below me and in green ribbons? It's not making sense. So I applied, I nearly drowned. They were doing like butterfly and then- - Oh fuck that joke. - Bro, I nearly drowned. I swallowed a whole liter of it.

I saw a whole year and they sent me straight back to blue. I remember getting out of the pool with my little tights and just straight back to blue. Where I'm safe. - Oh my God. - In the shallow end. - Yeah, butterfly? - Yeah, you can't catch me doing that. - That's a pointless stroke. - Fuck that. - It's a pointless stroke bro. After two years of questioning this one thing, I finally manned up and stepped to her. I said, hi.

The same time her friend walked up and said, who's this unbleached asshole looking ting talking to you? They both died of laughter and I died inside. - Unbleached asshole looking ting. Oh, it's always the friend. - The friend always has something to say in it because no one's talking to you. You want to come up and say some shit. - That is brutal. That's brutal. - Also why would I bleach my ass? I'm in school.

- I'm in school, what do you mean unbleached arsehole? They both died of laughter. - I would too. - Yeah, it's crazy. It's such a heinous part, I would piss myself. I couldn't be approached by a girl and I'm entertaining it and you pull up and be like, "Who's this unbleached arsehole looking tig?" I would fall over laughing in her face and I feel so bad. I'll be pissing myself. And then when I see you laughing, I would make me laugh even more.

'Cause you know what you said is funny. - I'll be crying. - Yeah, yeah. And I will be there howling. - Just shaking. - And she'll be there just murked. - Unbleached arsehole. - And I'll be like, it's not even making sense. Like don't be hurt by it, he's chatting shit. And then you'll be laughing like that now. And that'll make me laugh again. She'll be like, you guys are pricks. You're both pricks. - Oh my God. - That's so stupid. - Oh my God. - Most embarrassing memory from school. They caught me on camera standing against the wall when a fight broke out. I was terrified.

Just peeled. They could have brought it up. They could have brought it up. It's like when... Wait, no.

- Oh, that's too funny. - It's like when you see videos of CCTV footage of someone stealing something and they pan to the real person in the office and they just look at their face like, fuck me. - That's too funny, bro. - Bro, that's too funny. They put a video of me hugging a wall. Wow. - I was shook. - Last one from me. What's your most embarrassing memory from school? People spread a rumor that I had no ovaries 'cause I refused to date a guy.

That doesn't even make sense. Rumors get carried away and you'll believe anything. Yeah. You could believe like someone could say, oh, you know, Lauren was raised by wolves. Bro, have you guys watched the new season of Black Mirror? No, not yet. So episode two. So obviously, you know, Black Mirror, originally UK British actors. Since then, they've been doing American as well as British. Episode two is British. It's about a, uh,

It's about a woman that's coming back for revenge on all the people that did her dirty in high school. And one of the main actress spread a rumor about this girl saying that she shined off like a geography teacher. I called her. I haven't heard shines in years. She shined off a geography teacher. And they used to call her milkmaid.

Damn. Yeah, so she's come back for revenge, but she has this tool where anything she...

says and while she's pressing this button comes to life. And it could be anything. You could say something like, oh, KFC is no longer KFC, it's KFD. And the internet will, if you type in KFC, it won't exist on the internet. It will be KFC. So it's kind of like that kind of shit. It's a very, very good episode. Bar the ending. It's a very, very good episode. But it reminds me of that when you said like bullies and shit because people can be fucking heinous. But her revenge was insane. It reminds me of that Korean thing that we watched. Remember? Yeah.

- No glory? - Yeah, no glory. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They burn her. - There's a new one. I'm not seeing it, but I have a feeling it's gonna be heavy. I think there's one called like "Weak Hero" or "Weakest Hero." It's a Korean drama that's on Netflix. It just looks like it would be heavy. - Okay, sick.

I'm going to lock into that. All right, gang. Was that 9.4 or 8.4? 8.4. Yeah, that's still heavy, bro. That's still good. Right, guys, that was a really good episode, really long episode. I had a lot of fun. Same. So thank you, guys. As always, guys, head over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs if you want to catch an extra episode on Thursday and if you want to see our log cabin show on Saturday. It's three pound a month. Run the P. And love of love. Gang, gang.

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