S18 E2: (1/7) [Karissa] Yeah, She’s Done That Before
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I'm Carissa. I met Caitlin two years ago through my ex-girlfriend, Emma. They worked together closely and became friends through being together all the time at work. They bonded through telling each other things about their lives. When me and my ex started dating, they were already like tied to the hip.

My ex thought that we would spark things off because my dad had just died a couple months before and both her parents had died. So she thought we would get along in that sense. She kind of introduced us that way.

I've never met anyone like her before. She gives such wild vibes. Funny, but you could tell it came from somewhere. It came from a lot of hurt, which I relate with, so I understood. She was very friendly. She seemed to have like a dark, playful humor. Everything that could be turned into a joke was made into a joke, almost in an overcompensating way.

She just seemed like somebody who had been through some shit and I related to her. She just seemed quirky, a little bit unhinged, but she overall seemed really sweet. The more I got to know her, the more I was like, my God, you're immature. But right off the bat, it's like,

How could somebody so young go through so much shit? I'm almost 29 now. When I met her, I would have been 27. And I always forgot how young she was. My own life is kind of chaotic. It's nice to have somebody who gets that. Sometimes life is just shit after shit after shit.

I had just met her. We went from not knowing each other at all to like immediately every single day seeing her, talking to her. It was zero to 100. She is in my life. So I'm learning information bit by bit as she trauma dumps on me. And in a way where it's not like we're getting to know each other. It's just like she's dumping this stuff on me and then carrying on.

I know she has a sister. I've met her before and her sister seems lovely. Somebody that I would actually be friends with. Her and Caitlin are close, but not close like, you know, how sisters can be like friends. She told me that she had been abused.

growing up from her dad and her brother. I feel like at this point, she didn't go into really any detail, but it was very clear that she did mean sexual abuse just by the way she spoke about it and the way she spoke about her lack of sex life. I just connected the dots, really. The types of jokes that she would make

She would drop bombs in the middle of conversations and you'd kind of be caught off guard, but then she would just carry on and keep talking. So it was never really something that you could stop and be like, whoa, what's going on there? You couldn't really dig any further. She would make jokes about it, but she clearly didn't want to like have a conversation about it.

Sometimes she even pulls out this toddler character and it's just so immature. Sometimes when I'm hanging out with her, it feels like I'm babysitting.

I always said to people that she was like our child who would insert herself into like our relationship anywhere she could fit. She would go on dates with us. She would even plan, quote, dates for the three of us. She just wanted to be involved all the time. It was definitely weird.

There were a lot of times where I was like, okay, this would have been a really nice date night if she was also not here. Not to say it wasn't like fun with her. We had fun and it wasn't a big deal, but this would have been so much nicer if it was just the two of us rather than the three of us.

I was never mad that she was there. I would have never been like, hey, can she just not come? Because I could tell she needed people in her life.

She just oozed the energy of like, I need support. And so I was fine with that happening. Emma explained in one hand, they were best friends. But on the other hand, she would talk shit about her and be like, I don't trust her. I feel like she lies about a lot of stuff. I'll be honest, my ex, there was just a lot of red flags with her. But I was going through my own shit at the time.

And so when she would say stuff like that, I was like, you're an asshole. Why would you assume she's lying about all this trauma she has? That's not really your place to like have an opinion. It was this back and forth where they were so close, but then there was this disconnect and Emma was like, I don't trust her. So it was weird.

I think as much as you question the stories that Caitlin has and the trauma that she has, because as we find out, things don't line up, you do have that empathy for her because she is young and whether she's being truthful or not, she is still clearly going through shit. So you kind of excuse behaviors. One day, Emma went to help Caitlin clean out her apartment after her mom had died.

Caitlin hadn't touched anything, I guess. And Caitlin had said to Emma that her mom is a hoarder. So the house was really dirty. Emma went to help Caitlin clean up. While they were there, the alarm clock in Caitlin's mom's room started going off, which Emma was like, what the hell is happening? And that means every day for months, this alarm is going off.

Caitlin looked panicked, but was like, oh yeah, I just haven't actually shut off the alarm yet. But this is apparently months after her mom had died. Caitlin made Emma stay out in the kitchen. She snuck into the room, shut the alarm off and came back out and then just kind of carried on.

Emma came home to me after and was like, this was weird. I'm already suspecting that her mom isn't actually dead. But then this happened and I'm even more sure. And again, I was like, who says that? Why would you assume that her mom is not dead? That's kind of a messed up thing to say.

She had said that when Caitlin's dad died, I don't remember exactly what month it was. There was an obituary. There was funeral details, all that stuff that you can easily like Google someone's name and that comes up. And with her mom, who had apparently died in the summer, there was none of that.

When you searched her name, there was no obituary. There was no funeral details. And as far as Emma knew, Caitlin didn't even go to a funeral. That part was just always in the back of her mind. Like, that's weird. That doesn't usually happen. Even if there isn't a full out funeral, there's at least something that will come up online when you search. So after this incident, Emma's speaking with you about it a bit more. Yeah.

Yeah, she was very understanding of my view of it because I'm like, if somebody told me that my dad didn't just die, I would lose my mind. I would be so upset. So in my head, I'm thinking, how dare you say something like that?

that's awful and she understood that and was very sensitive towards that with me but also being like okay but listen the obituary the lack of funeral and then the alarm and everything Caitlin also wouldn't let Emma go into her mom's room at all it was just a lot of red flags that were like hmm that's weird

Just so I'm understanding the timeline, she had lied about her mom passing away before you started dating Emma. Yes. How long had they known each other, would you say, at this point in their friendship? I think they had known each other maybe six months. Maybe not even that, actually. Less than a year for sure. So even though they were, quote, best friends, she also accelerated that relationship super quickly. Yeah.

I think they became friends maybe even after Caitlin's dad had died, which was early in the year. Even looking at my notes, I'm like, so much happened just in three weeks. From the minute I met her till the end, it was only a year and a half. I don't know even what the word is for it, but it was like an instant. She is fully in my life. And I think the same happened when her and Emma became friends. It was just like instant and flashback.

full on. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think by the time I met Caitlin, she was no longer working at the job. I didn't know anybody else that worked with Caitlin. Other than the three of us, we didn't have any other people that we would hang out with. Eventually, she got fired from every job I've known her to have. The boss...

that Emma and Caitlin had at that job. Right off the bat, she was like, something's off. She's lying. At the job that they were at, there were rumors going around at this job that Caitlin lied about a sexual assault that happened at work. And again, it just seemed like, why would somebody lie about that? Why would somebody not believe someone when they say, hey, I was assaulted? And so I didn't want anything to do with it.

Like, sure, you guys can believe that. Believe me out of it. I'm not going to judge this person I just met. It just seemed ridiculous to not believe somebody. She came forward with it. And then allegedly, they found out that it wasn't true. And eventually she got let go. I wasn't sure where I stood on that. But other than that, there were no other things that happened in our short time of being friends.

Can you walk us through the day that Emma went to Caitlin's mom's work? Yeah. So to rewind a couple days, I had been sitting outside of where Caitlin's mom used to work. I had been inside the store, came out, was sitting in my car just about to leave, and I looked up and saw Caitlin's car there. I was going to say hi, and then I kind of realized maybe something's happening here. Maybe Emma was right, right?

So I just kind of sat there and it seemed like she was waiting for somebody. She wasn't going into the store. It didn't look like she had just come out. So I sat there and I texted Emma and I said, just a heads up, this is what I'm doing. I don't know what's happening yet. I don't even know if anything is happening, but I'll keep you updated.

I sat there for like 20 minutes and then Caitlin drove away. I didn't see anything happen, but I think that sparked something in Emma to dig a little further. Then maybe two or three days later, Emma tells me that she's going to go to Caitlin's mom's work and ask if she's in today and see what they say.

So Emma goes, she goes to the counter where Caitlin's mom works or did work and says, hey, can I speak to Caitlin's mom? Says her name. And they go, yeah, one sec, let me grab her.

Sure enough, Caitlin's mom walks out and Emma is stunned. Jaw to the ground. Like, what the heck is happening? And she goes, Hey, I'm Emma, Caitlin's friend. And Caitlin's mom goes, Oh my gosh. Hi. Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. I don't know why Caitlin hasn't introduced us yet. And Emma goes, Can I talk to you for a second? And she's like, Yeah, what's going on? What's up? And Emma basically says,

Caitlin's been lying to like a lot of people telling them that you have died. Caitlin told us that she died from an OD, which is an even worse lie to make up.

Caitlin's mom was so unfazed. Shrugged her shoulders and was like, yeah, she's done that before. It's out of my hands. There's nothing I can do. That's just Caitlin for you. Emma was shocked and they had a nice chat. She apologized on Caitlin's behalf, but was like, yeah, this is kind of what's going on.

what you're getting into with her. Emma left, came home and told me and she was distraught because your best friend just lied to you for months. It was definitely a lot of processing, a lot of shock. Our emotions were everywhere. Mostly Emma, super upset one second, like crying and then absolutely livid the next second. We were like playing pieces back and she was like, oh, that's probably why the alarm went off. I wonder if her mom was there.

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We're going through every little detail and Emma was done. She was like, nope, that's it. I'm not going to be friends with her anymore. I'm going to write her this huge message and just started typing out on her phone, ranting, ripping her to shreds. And I kind of was like, okay, let's take a step back because as much as that is awful and not okay, I just wanted her to like calm down, take a second and then go from there.

We took a couple hours, chilled and processed, and then we kind of wrote a message to Caitlin together. Obviously it was Emma's words, but I was not letting her just go off and say whatever she wanted. She ended up sending Caitlin a message that was like, hey, this is what happened. I ran into your mom. I know she's not dead. I know you were lying to me and I'm really hurt by that.

This is not okay, and I'm not okay with this. I'm really hurt and feel blindsided. Just like a thoughtful but firm message of like, this is not okay, and I'm done. Caitlin came back with an immediate apology and a sob story, basically, and said...

me and my mom don't get along. We don't have a good relationship. She doesn't believe me when I say I have trauma. I just didn't want you guys to meet and connect and for you to have any sort of relationship with my mom. So that's why I just thought it was easier to say that she died. In my head, I'm like, she seems like a sweet girl. And I don't

I think you need to be lying about all this stuff in order to get the type of attention you're looking for. There's no need to be doing all this. There's got to be something more. It was chaotic. One second, Emma was like, absolutely not. I'm never speaking to her again. But then the next second, she was empathetic and did feel bad for her and didn't want to lose her best friend.

I get that. So I was just sitting on the sidelines, letting Emma handle this however she felt fit and just kind of being there to support her in whatever decision she was going to make. I feel like Caitlin and I were close, but we were close because she was Emma's best friend. So to me, it was like, you do what you need to do. And I'm just going to support you in that.

It was glazed over. By the next day, it was like nothing happened. I think a lot of that has to do with the way that Caitlin responded and the way that she made it seem like this was her only option to protect herself.

I had mentioned that from somebody who had just lost a parent, it was really messed up to hear that the person I just met and who so quickly became a part of my life was lying about losing a parent. That to me was the only thing that really stung because I could never imagine lying to somebody about losing a parent or lying to somebody about losing a parent who has just lost a parent.

I think she was already too deep in her lie that by the time she met me, she couldn't take it back. I had mentioned that right away, probably the day after. But after that, it was never really talked about again. What do you think the glue was? Do you think Emma was somebody who just wanted to see the best?

I think Emma also has a lot of unhealed issues and she also craves that attention and that companionship with people. My ex was also on the immature side. And so I think that's why they connected so much. They seem to be more on the same level emotionally. Now knowing everything, I think they are not on the same level emotionally.

But I think that they were on the same level in the sense that like they fed each other's insecurities and fed each other's needs. And so that's why they stayed friends. And I think that's why it was so deep to the point where you would overlook something like that. Because what would they do without each other? Yeah. Most people are good and assume that other people are good and have good intentions.

I think that's what Emma's thing was. She wanted to believe that Caitlin was doing things to protect herself and not just for the sake of lying. I think she wanted to believe the best in her because why wouldn't you?

Everything was kind of glazed over. As you said, they jumped right back into the friendship. Oh, yeah. And like back into inserting herself in mine and Emma's relationship very much back to business as usual. I think I definitely tried to just remove myself from the drama of it all. Emma made the decision she's going to still be friends with her. So it was just kind of like, okay, we're moving on. But I

But I definitely then started to take a step back in the sense of this will never be somebody who I personally will trust with my life.

If we're going to be friends, that's fine. But I'm not going to ever open up to this person. She's not somebody that will ever be my support person. I think it's important to say during all of this, she was in and out of the hospital like every other day.

She had these ridiculous nosebleeds that would last hours to the point where like she was sitting in hospital rooms just gushing blood out of her nose. Nobody could figure out why.

So yes, I saw these nosebleeds and she would send me snapchats of herself in hospital rooms with a peace sign up with blood everywhere out of nowhere. That was not unheard of for her to just send me the most traumatic looking photos and the caption would be like just vibing or something ridiculous.

trauma dumping in such a lighthearted way that you can't even be like, whoa, whoa, what's going on? She was in and out of the hospital for a million different reasons. One day she got stung by a bee and had this horrible reaction to it. Another day she hurt her ankle, just was always in the hospital.

So on top of everything else, she also has a million other problems where you feel bad for her because you're like, what is happening in your life right now? It was just constant mess. And that was what it started as. It was one thing after another health wise as well on top of all of this.

What was Emma thinking? Because Emma now knows that she's a liar. Are you guys discussing these things behind the scenes? Or were you like, shit, this girl is just going through it.

It was both. We were both like, there's no way this is happening. There's no way this much shit is happening to one person all at once. There's no way. But then on the other hand, it was like, there's no way somebody lies about this much. Sure, her mom wasn't dead and she gave her reasoning. We could understand that somebody who is so deeply hurt, somebody who is so deeply unhealed, we can understand.

somewhat excuse it and we can make sense of it. We can't make sense of somebody making their nose bleed a ridiculous amount or being in the hospital so often for unheard of reasons.

We couldn't make sense of those things being lies because of just how ridiculous they were. And so it was like a bit of back and forth with us. We would talk about it the few times she wasn't with us. I feel like my whole relationship with Emma was the three of us. We very rarely had time, just the two of us. So when we were alone, we were bouncing things off of each other, trying to make sense of everything, but it didn't make sense.

Nothing significant really happened between finding out her mom wasn't dead and the end of mine and Emma's relationship.

Christmas Eve of 2021, I had COVID. I found out on Christmas Eve. Obviously, I had to isolate. Caitlin was messaging me, do you want me to like drop stuff off for you? Do you need anything? And I was like, no girl, I'm good. And Emma took this opportunity basically to be like, great, I don't have to see my girlfriend. This is a perfect time to break up.

I laugh because now I look back and I'm like, yeah, whatever. Just like the worst possible timing. Now I have to spend Christmas alone, not texting my girlfriend or FaceTiming her. It was a slow and long breakup.

as well. It wasn't like we're breaking up and that's it. It was dragged out. Once I was at home and isolating, me and Emma started fighting. Caitlin was kind of in the middle of it. There was no words like we're breaking up, but you could tell that that's what was happening in that moment. So there was still room for us to fix things.

had Caitlin not been a part of our relationship at all, I don't think we would have had this fairytale relationship anyway. I think it started on a bad note. So obviously it was going to end on a bad note, but I definitely think that

that Caitlin made it snowball. She was very much the kind of person who would jump between the two of us. If I said something to Caitlin about Emma, then Caitlin would kind of go to Emma and tell her and kind of vice versa. I don't think she did it in a malicious way. I think she was just trying to get us both on her good side.

And so I think it just created a lot more drama than necessary.

At this point, Caitlin was too involved to the point where I was like, okay, you need to like back up out of my relationship. Thank you for wanting to support me. Not necessary. Because again, at this point, I don't trust her. I didn't want her to be there for me, but she was adamant about supporting me through this. But then also going back to Emma and being Emma's friend. So it was just weird. It was a weird dynamic.

Caitlin was very much the middleman and was trying to convince Emma to stay with me, was also talking to me and being like, you're better off without her. But also at the same time, Caitlin is at Emma's family Christmas. She went basically in place of me, which was really messed up. They're having a good time.

I'm at home by myself. Emma's ex did suspect that Caitlin had a thing for Emma. But like, as far as we know, Caitlin's straight. I think what happened was emotions were high. Emma and I were fighting while I was isolating. And then I was out of isolation and we kind of met back up and decided to work things out.

Fast forward, Emma and I did work it out because I remember we actually were together on New Year's Eve. I had just finished my isolating the day before New Year's Eve. We spent New Year's Eve together and of course, Caitlin came. So it was the three of us at my apartment on New Year's Eve together. I was just miserable. I did not want to be there. I didn't want them there. I was mad at Emma. I was annoyed with Caitlin.

I was miserable all night on New Year's Eve. And then Emma and I ended up for real breaking up a couple days after. The breakup was a long time coming. We didn't have the best relationship, but it was devastating.

And Caitlin texted me and was like, are you okay? Can I do anything for you? And I was like, no, I'm fine. And then she texted me and was like, I'm outside your house. Come out. Let's go for a drive. We can talk.

I was in my room crying. I don't want you to show up at my house. But she was like, I'm going to call the police if you're not okay. And I'm like, my God, like, I'm fine. I'm just going through a breakup. It's not that deep. So did you end up going for a drive? I did. And it was miserable. It was awful.

She wasn't being helpful. She was just making a lot of jokes and trying to be lighthearted about it. And I didn't want to do that. I wanted to sit in my bed and cry. She was cracking jokes left, right, and center, making light of it, talking shit about Emma, which, yeah...

She wasn't very kind to me in the end, but I didn't want to be doing that with her. She kept saying things like, don't worry, I'm going to pick your side and the divorce, making jokes like that. And I was like, I don't need you to pick my side. You are friends with Emma. Stay friends with her. No hard feelings. All good. And she was like, no, she's mean to you. I don't want to be friends with somebody like that. I was like,

It's really not necessary. Please leave me alone, basically. So are you and Emma broken up? We're not speaking? Yeah. So you're not having continued conversation after this about Caitlin, I'm assuming? It ended in flames, basically. It was not a good ending. It was very toxic. There was like a couple things that I needed to get from Emma's apartment. There was a couple things she needed to get from mine. But...

It ended so poorly. That's probably not a good idea for us to see each other again. Now we're civil. It's fine. I'm not friends with her by any means, but we're civil. But then it was like, I have to go and I have to get this stuff from her. I'm feeling really anxious about it. I don't feel good about it. I had a feeling that if I went, it was going to be a whole blow up thing.

I texted Caitlin and I was like, hey, do you think you could go to Emma's apartment and pick this stuff up for me? I thought that they were still talking because...

because why wouldn't they? She then says to me, yeah, I can, but Emma and I haven't talked since you guys broke up. And I was like, why? She was like, well, because she was really mean to you and I don't want to be friends with somebody like that basically. And she's also really mean to me. Caitlin's saying, I was crying in my room all day, acting as if she went through a breakup. I

I was trying not to react too much because I did still want to convince her to go and get my things because I super didn't want to see Emma. Eventually, I wasn't nagging her to do it by any means, but I was like, if you could, that'd be super helpful. And so Caitlin was like, yeah, no worries. I got you. She came and she dropped off my stuff. And then she was like, do you think we could go for a coffee? And I was like, yeah, sure.

We grab a coffee, we go for a drive, and she is just complaining, complaining, complaining about Emma and all the mean things Emma has done to her. She can't stand her. She's taken my side completely in this and she's got my back and we're in this together. I'm just like, what? Did we both go through a breakup? Were we both dating her? I'm confused. She basically was just like, we're in this together. You're stuck with me kind of thing.

Would you consider yourself an assertive person at this point? Oh, yeah. But I also view her as like a small, fragile child. So it's like giving her an extra scoop of empathy almost because you know who you're dealing with and their emotional capacity or emotional intelligence. And you're able to see like this person isn't capable of much beyond this level. Yeah.

That's exactly it. And I would even tell my friends, I am Caitlin's friend, but she is not mine. I would never go to her with any of my problems. I would never go out of my way to hang out with her. I would never lean on her for any type of support, but I am her support.

And clearly she needs that. And that's okay. And most days I have the capacity to go for a drive and grab coffee with her. I have my core group of friends and it's a small group and I love spending time with them.

I'm not like a extrovert, but I definitely like to be around my people. And she was not my people. And so it was exhausting and it was tiring. She knows the strings to pull to make me feel sorry for her. And I think that's a lot of her tactic with a lot of different situations.

She is texting me all day, every day, Snapchatting me. It got to the point over the next couple months where she would text me in the morning and say, are you working? And if I didn't answer within 10 minutes, then I would get a Snapchat from her that said, are you working? So I would respond and

say yes or no if I said no she would ask me to hang out if I said yes then in the evening like five o'clock she would text me and say are you busy if I didn't respond in 10 minutes I would get a snapchat that says are you busy that was every day every other day for our entire quote friendship

It was just constant. She needed to be texting me, wanting to hang out every single day. Some days I would go and I would just be like, hey, bite the bullet. Let's go to dinner. Let's go get drinks. Let's go get coffee. And then that's it. I go home. The end. Other days, if I wouldn't respond, she would just keep messaging me until I would say, hey, no, back off kind of thing.

So that was basically what our relationship was like from then on until the end. I also had just moved back to my hometown before Emma and I got together. So I didn't have any other friends other than Emma in my town anymore. Everybody had already moved. All of my people were in a different city. It was kind of like, well, it's somebody to hang out with. It's somebody to grab drinks with.

Sometimes we did have a decent time. It wasn't all bad all the time because otherwise I just wouldn't have put up with that. But it was draining. I would go multiple days with being like, no, no, no, I can't. But then I would be like, okay. So I would go and hang out with her because she was there always ready to hang out. I also am convincing myself that I'm just being an asshole. I

I am trying so hard to not place judgment on her because she is quirky. I'm trying so hard to like dig deep and just be a good human and not judge her and not question things. So when she's in and out of the hospital, I'm convincing myself that sometimes people just have shitty things happen to them and that's it. I'm trying not to like pick apart her.

I also felt too, if I say yes to dinner tonight, maybe she'll ease up for a couple days. And then it would be a couple days and then she would start asking again. There was a while after she was put in jail where if I got a Snapchat notification, I would be triggered. I'd be like, my God, what does she want now? And then I'd be like, oh, it's not her. It was bad. That's how often I would get random Snapchats from her.

I think she did it on Snapchat partially so that there was no trace of it. I wonder if that was like part of her thing because it was constant photos of her in the hospital, her crying. What are you doing? That would be like the caption of the photo. I'd be like, what?

And she'd be like, do you want to go out? Now I feel obligated because she's sobbing in this photo that she just randomly sent me because I haven't answered her text. So I'm like, are you trying something new that will make me answer?

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How many months was it that this went on before she was arrested and all this other stuff would come out?

Probably just over a year. Post-Emma that this relationship continued. Yeah. I am there for her and that's it. There was definitely no two sides of this friendship. I was her support system and that was it for over a year. Like a year and two months. She bounced between a few jobs in this time.

all social work related, which is really concerning. She worked at a woman's shelter and then she also worked one-on-one with a student in a school. So like jobs with a lot of social responsibility with people who are maybe even more vulnerable than the average person. Very, very concerning. Super.

I would text my friends and be like, my God, this is what Caitlin's doing today. I would talk to them about it. And they're like, what is happening? They would understand why I was allowing this to happen because I kept saying like, she needs a friend. She needs somebody who is stable because I would put her in her place kindly. I'm

kind. But if I'm going to put you in your place, I'm not going to like beat around the bush and make it sound all pretty. I'm going to be like, okay, you need to chill. She would receive stuff like that from me, but she also had like three different therapists.

To me, she's getting professional help and they're dealing with the inner deep stuff. And so I don't need to do that. I wasn't digging deep and trying to figure out why she is the way she is. I was just being somebody that she could hang out with, that she could be around and shoot the shit with kind of thing. I think it was August, maybe September, short.

She kept asking me. She wanted to go away for a weekend. It was always very last minute, very spontaneous. And I was like, no, girl, no, thank you. I'm good. Then one weekend, she messaged me a Friday morning and was like, hey, I got this Airbnb cottage for the weekend. I was supposed to go with my other friend and she bailed.

but I've already paid for it. So like it's already paid for. You don't even need to cough up any money. Do you want to come with me? I was like, yeah, fine. I didn't have anything going on that weekend. I figured I can just chill by the water. I don't need to like hang out with her. I'll just tell her I'm reading my book.

So I was like, sure, I'll come. So we get there. It's pretty chill. We just sit by the water most of the day. And then she tells me that her friend who was supposed to come is actually free now. And so she's going to come up. I was like, sure, whatever. So this friend gets here and she just seems like she's not available.

okay she seems off upset about something this is the first time i'm ever meeting her and so i don't know what's going on and then i guess as the night goes on her friend goes in the house and is in there for like 30 minutes and i say to caitlyn is she okay like she seems really upset caitlyn just brushes it off and she's like oh yeah sorry she kind of killed the vibe and i was like it was

There was no vibe to kill. It's fine. I just want to make sure your friend is okay. So Caitlin goes inside, checks in on her. They talk a bit inside and then Caitlin comes back out. And that's kind of what happened that weekend. It was just weird. Something fell off and I couldn't figure out what it was. I couldn't tell if they were dealing with something or if it was just her friend going through something. I couldn't tell. But later I find out why.

After this weekend, I was just like, nah, I'm just going to try and remove myself slowly.

I'm trying to distance myself from Caitlin at this point. It's exhausting, draining to be around her. Then in the beginning of September, she messages me and she's like, hey, can we do dinner and drinks? I just need to like get out of the house. Made it seem like she wasn't okay. So I was like, yeah, sure. We go out for dinner and she seems totally fine. And she's in this hyper chagrin.

childish mood acting like goofy silly whatever I'm like are we good is this a coping mechanism or are we happy and she's like oh yeah like I'm fine I have a catheter in right now and I was like okay why she's

She's like, yeah, I don't really know. Like, I just haven't been able to pee. So they had to put a catheter in. Whether she didn't know or didn't want to talk about it. I was just like, okay, whatever, moving on. So we finished dinner and she goes to pay her bill and she goes to the server. Can I pay $35 in cash and like the last...

$5 on debit. And I'm like, oh my God, here we go. So she pays...

like that and then realizes that she only tipped on the five dollars not on the whole bill and then she looked panicked like clearly she couldn't pay for the rest so I was like no worries I'll leave a tip for the server no stress not a big deal then the next morning she texts me and she's like hey I'm at the hospital I don't have a ride home can you come and pick me up

And she's not in the hospital in our city. She's in the hospital a couple cities over, like 35 minutes away. And I'm like, yeah, I can. So I go, I pick her up and she gets in the car and she's like, yeah, they took the catheter out. I'm so excited. But if the next day I still haven't been able to pee, then I have to go back and they have to put it back in. I'm like, oh, dang, that sucks. So that was that morning. Let's say it was like a Wednesday. She

She had to go back the next morning. But so the one night I pick her up from the hospital, drive her home, we go to dinner. And again, she cannot pay for dinner. And she had also said, if you pick me up, I will buy dinner. Then she couldn't pay for either one of our dinners. And I had to pay again. And like, she's ordering drinks, she's ordering apps. It was just frustrating.

That was the third night that week that she needed me to do something. So then the very next morning, she texts me again and she's like, I still haven't been able to pee. I have to go back to the hospital and they have to put the catheter back in, but I can't. My car is out of order.

Basically, like she couldn't drive her car for whatever reason. She was like, can you please take me? She's panicking and freaking out. So I'm like, yes, I will take you. I take her to the hospital. This is now the third time this week. We sit in the waiting room for a couple hours and she gets the catheter put back in.

I did go into the room with her and I heard her explaining to the doctors like, hey, I haven't been able to pee, so you'll have to put it back in. They were like, okay. Obviously, I left the room when they were actually doing it, but I heard her in the doctor's office discussing the catheter. So as far as I know, there is a catheter. I just don't know why. I don't know what it's from. I don't know why she can't pee. And nobody was really discussing any of that.

So after spending the entire morning at the hospital, we drive home. I'm exhausted. Like I have been to and from this hospital 35 minutes away from me multiple times in the last few days. I've spent way too much money on food that I was not allotting for because she couldn't pay for her meals.

I was just exhausted. So I get home at like noon and lay down, take a little nap. By 2.30, she has texted me and has said, Hey, I don't know why I'm telling you this. You might not believe me. And I totally understand if you don't. I don't even know why I'm saying this. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer.

But my brother came to my house when nobody else was home. He's really angry and he hurt me and I don't know what to do. I texted her back and I was like, are you okay? What do you need from me? Do you want me to come and pick you up? Do you want me to call the cops or something? Like, what do you need? And she was like, yeah, I don't know. Maybe can you come pick me up?

This is like two hours after I had just dropped her off back at home from the hospital. So I'm like, okay, I'm on my way. I drive to her house and she's standing outside waiting at the end of the driveway and I can see she has a black eye. And I'm like, what the hell? So she gets in the car and I'm like, what the hell? What happened? What's going on?

Her brother doesn't live with her. Her brother lives an hour or two away. And I'm like, why did he come? What's going on? She goes on to say that he came to pick up their other sister's car. I guess he was borrowing it or something and came in the house and realized that it was just her and was pissed off about something. And she just kept saying he hurt me.

And then she tells me that he hit her, but he also did sexual things. I was like, okay, obviously you don't need to go into detail, but do we need to go to the hospital? Do we need to like call the cops? Tell me enough that I know how to help you basically.

She was like, yeah, I should probably go to the hospital, but I don't really want to. Talking like that, just very like nonchalant. She goes, honestly, let's just go to your house. We'll have a drink and we'll just hang out. I'm like, no, we're not going to do that. We can go to my house and take a minute and figure out what you want to do from there. But we're not just going to go and hang out. I'm tired. I've been driving back and forth and I don't want to just hang out.

And we go to my house and she just wants to like sit and watch TV. And I'm like, Caitlin, I don't know what's happening here. Like she won't tell me anything more than that. She tells me she probably should go to the hospital and she probably should call the cops. We sit, we watch an episode of TV and then I shut the TV off and I'm like, okay, I'm

We're doing one of two things. We are going to the hospital or we are going to the police station. That's your call. I'm not going to force you to do anything, but I can't carry this burden. I need you to have professional support. She's like, okay. She's like, let's go to the hospital. So I'm like, great. I assume we're going to go to the hospital in our city. And she goes, no, we can't go there. And I'm like, ooh.

okay why she's like they don't have a good sexual assault center thank god i've never had to go there before maybe she's been there before so i just take her word for it but i am a bit skeptical because i also have noticed the pattern that every single time she goes to the hospital which is often she is never at the brantford hospital so i'm like okay weird

So we end up driving back to Hamilton and go there. As a side traumatic note, we also end up at the hospital that my dad died at. So that was just an added shitty part about this.

The whole time she's just kind of shooting the shit, making jokes, being so lighthearted about this. And it's heavy for me. I don't have any sort of trauma in that area. It's sitting heavy. So I'm like, this is her way of coping because the amount of jokes she's making, the amount of chit chatting she's doing, I don't know how she's doing it. Next time on Something Was Wrong.

If I didn't respond to her asking me to hang out, then all of a sudden there would be like an emergency where she needed me. Whether it was a nosebleed or some other health issue or she had a bad day, messages would slowly get more and more like an emergency. So why are you just now finding out that you're pregnant? It doesn't make sense to me. You go to the hospital like every other week, they would have found out.

A Brantford woman who has been charged with what police are calling doula fraud. Police allege 24-year-old Caitlin Braun of Brantford reached out to at least a half dozen doulas across Ontario for false pregnancies and stillbirths. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time, stay safe, friends.

Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media production created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese. If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram at somethingwaswrongpodcast. Our theme song was composed by Glad Rags. Check out their album, Wonder Under. Thank you so much.

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Scammers are best known for living the high life until they're forced to trade it all in for handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit once they're finally caught. I'm Sachi Cole. And I'm Sarah Hagee. And we're the host of Scamfluencers, a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twists and turns of some of the most infamous scams of all time, the impact on victims, and what's left once the facade falls away.

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