#135 - Ali Siddiq
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Hello, everybody. We have an incredible show coming up for you right now with the great Ali Sadiq, one of the best comics working today, maybe the best storyteller in stand-up comedy currently. You're gonna love the episode. He was great on the show. Just wanted to let you know we are gonna be on the road a bunch coming to the UK and Ireland in September. We're talking Manchester, we're talking London, Glasgow, then also Dublin, of course. How could I forget?

Let's not forget coming back stateside, Memphis, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, North Carolina, Wilmington, Myrtle Beach, Austin, and Boston. And we are adding more shows. Believe me, don't worry. More shows are coming. Go right now to Stabby.biz to get your tickets. Can't wait to see you there. So fun. And now let's start the show.

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World, 904-800-STAV. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. On the couch today, we're pumped to have Ali Sadiq. Thank you for being here, man. One of the most prolific. I truly don't under... I see your YouTube channel, I'm like, fuck, man. I gotta work so much harder than this. I'll do one special every two years. I'm like, this guy's doing shit that I'm like, people are crying. They're laughing. You're moving people. I'm like...

Damn, do I even do the same art form? I just talk about my dick being small for about half of it and being too fat the other half. So I love... Your shit is out of... I mean, truly, dude, it's like nobody's doing what you're doing on YouTube and with your specials. And so we're so, so happy to have you here. We're huge fans here, for sure. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, and you got a special right now that just came out like...

A couple weeks ago, probably. Yeah, My Two Sons. My Two Sons, yep. Yeah, four million already. Yeah, dude. It's moving. Everybody I talk to, I'm like, YouTube's dead.

don't even bother putting a special up and then I check your shit and you got eight million on like that on some film with like one camera it looks like security camera footage like this he just did a special in the lobby of a fucking you're doing theaters you're like let's just do another one for fun let's do one at a club it's incredible what you're doing man for real so that's actually what happened we had did all these other specials and then we had some footage and we was looking at it it was like this is pretty structured yeah

Fuck it. Let's put it out in between. While they're waiting on another show. Yeah. Don't get used to that. If you're a Stavros Agis fan, do not expect that kind of production. We are taking our time with this special, man. Yeah, no, dude. And I love, I mean, you know, you have so many of them, but the domino effect, so great. A four-part special that's like...

six hours almost like the whole thing it's so and your life story is incredible i mean you know i don't want to go check go check all these stuff out but you know we'll just talk about you from houston yes sir and the whole thing i mean i love the domino effect because it takes you essentially from like childhood into when you come out of prison which is like you know such a such a beautiful arc to the whole thing so uh but yeah houston i mean we're big fans of houston too we love it

It's a great city, man. It is. Yeah. I don't think I would live anywhere else. You know, I still stay there. Yeah, yeah. And I'm so anti-moving anywhere else. Yeah, why do it? If the place you're from is cool, like, you know, I'm from Baltimore. I love Baltimore. But it's like, first of all, my family's there, which I love. But I like being...

Four hours is nice. Four hours in a car is the perfect distance from your family. An emergency happens, I'm in the RAV4, I'm there. But my mom can't just pop over, you know what I mean? My dad can't annoy me, you know what I mean? It's like they are far enough away where I literally went down yesterday for the day and I did like, I checked off a visit to everybody, my dad, my mom, my brothers. I'm looking at the back. Yeah. You Greek? I'm Greek, but yeah. So I'll be going to Greece. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

Oh, nice, dude. I'll be going to Greece. Where you going? You got the trip? Like three islands, I think y'all know. Yeah, we got a lot more, but yeah, the three's good. Like three spots that I'm going to. The big ones, yeah. No, Greece is the best. I'm going because this is a place where I could wear a Speedo and look good.

Look, no one is... Yeah, everyone's going to be like, nice, dude. That guy's crushed it. They might call you Obama. That's the thing. Greek racism is like, nice. It's like they just... Their favorite... If they see a black person, they'll just say their favorite black person. They might come up to you and be like, LeBron. You know? They'll say some shit like that to you. I was there with an ex-girlfriend and we were having... You know, we're breaking up on the trip. It's horrible. And then... But then I just... This like... Like...

like, stately older couple, right? Like, this black dude, you know, black couple. And they're like, you know, in their 50s. They really look like, he looks like a senator or something, right? And the guy just won't stop. The Greek waiter does not know any English, won't stop calling him Obama. I'm just like...

They're ruining this vacation. But I'm like, all right. It's making me laugh while I'm breaking up with my girlfriend in a beautiful island. So they might hit you with that. Can you break up in Greece? I didn't think you could, Ali. Everything I've heard about Greece. Can you break up in Greece? That's what happens when you date a rich girl. Like, I grew up poor. I was like, we're going to Greece. She can't say anything. I mean, I'm the man for bringing her to Greece. But when someone's family is... Her parents have taken her to, like...

Every place you can imagine. So to me, this is a big deal to her. It's like, she's annoyed. She can't, you know, she's missing out on New York. We, we two different worlds. I fucked up. Now you making me think, is this what my daughters are going to be like? Unfortunately, that is the problem with success. Your kids end up being like, Oh, you know what? They've they like, I don't want my children to know what ramen is like real ramen is until they're 25. You know what I mean? Like it's gotta be packets. Oh no. They, they, I,

I think I'm a healthy mix in between well-to-do and, you know, not well-to-do. Sure, sure, sure. I was on another podcast and a guy was like, yo, are you bougie or are you regular? I said, okay, I heard exactly what you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was listening, but I wasn't listening because I'm actually sitting inside my Bentley. Yeah.

And all I can think about is shooting these squirrels that eat my apples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off my tree. And I'm sitting there like, the pellet gun that I just bought is in the trunk. Like, why? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I just can't wait to get off this podcast so I can shoot these squirrels. Yeah.

I'm going squirrel hunting. It's often I have a trash bag full of bodies. You still have it in you. Yeah. I still have it, man. You do, but unfortunately, I think you are, how many kids do you have? Because I know. A plethora. Yeah. Nice. That's how I describe it. Maybe that's smart. This is the plethora. Yeah.

You know, I have a healthy range. They start at 31 and then they go down to four. Wow. That's smart because then you're like, all right, I'm spreading the resources out so none of you gets to be that rich. You know what I mean? Maybe that's how you'll stop it from them being too bougie. So what's crazy, I only own this Bentley is because I was with my four-year-old getting my truck serviced. She was like,

that's a nice car. And I said, well, let's look in it. The dealership is right next to the other dealership. I said, let's just go look in it. And she got in the back and she literally crossed her legs and crossed her hands like, this is nice.

Okay, well, yeah. She is toast. She's going to be like my ex. It's going to be the worst. Sorry. She's done for sure. You know, 31-year-old, probably they'll be cool. You know what I mean? He is definitely not upper crust. He is definitely rough around the edges. Yeah, before the YouTube ad money came in. Oh, man. Before the, before, almost, really before the career even. Oh, wow. I've been doing stand-up 27 years. Okay.

So my oldest daughter is 26. My oldest son is 31. So he is. Yeah. Yeah. The brunt of course. Hey, man, I mean, where do you actually work at? Yeah. Yeah. What's the little what's the you know, what's the little gap between when the career because I, you know, in the specials, you're talking about how you sort of

Kind of started doing stand-up, entertaining other inmates when you were in prison. And it was like, so what's that little gap when you got out and before it really started going off? What are you doing? In the Shadows gives an explanation of how I started in 1997, December 2nd, and how I go up from there. I was actually...

18 months before I was on my first TV show. Wow. Holy shit. Which was Comic View, which is four minutes and 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And then you think that you are exploding after that. Yeah. And then you realize, no, I only really like to host movies

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. It was always like a famous guy would be hosting. You know what I mean? That was kind of like the farm system where it was like, if you do well enough, they might bring you back another time. And if you have some other shit going on, then you get to also host the thing too. If you used to be a competition host, then they used to start making this random statement. Bruce was the host one year. Ricky Smiley was the host. I think Ricky did it twice. Yeah.

So the three years I was on, it was Bruce, it was Ricky, then they had, I think it was a weird...

in there where it was like two hosts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they taped in multiple places. Right, right, right. That's when it just started falling apart. When it was just like no one even gave a fuck anymore. They're like, whatever man, you host it. You know what I mean? I remember people would do Comic View and then they would come in the club with shades on. And I was like...

I thought them shades cost more than you made. I know they do. Oh, yeah. Those first... I mean, I remember my first thing for Comedy Central that was like four minutes. It was like a... They were like, oh, last year this paid $8,000 and we did it in Hawaii. This year it's in Brooklyn. It's $400 and you get an Uber ride. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm the first generation. They're downsizing this bullshit. It was literally... It went from Adam Devine's house party was like...

The little, and they would fly you to Hawaii, and the next year they just fucking did it at, like, you know, one of these, somewhere in, like, Park Slope. It was horrible. I declined Adam Devine's house party. Ah, yeah, yeah. It didn't, because I had won. Yeah, you're in a different place by then. You know what I mean? No, I had just won Comedy Central's Comic to Watch, right? Yeah. And it came with...

you know an album um of appearance on one of the comic shows and they kept offering me shows and i kept declining them yeah yeah and he was like yo what is what's going on with this with this guy yeah and then he's like well adam devine's is a great one you can go on he's blowing up i said cool so i watched an episode yeah not really your sense of it and then i called i called back and i'm like

know. And one of the guys that did it, Matt Broussard. Oh, yeah, I know, man. He called me, Houston guy. He called me and was like, yo, you ought to do it. I was like, no, Matt, you were on there. Exactly. I can't think of a more cartoonishly opposite. Also, Matt is like the most handsome villain. He's a handsome villain. Yeah, yeah.

He's a handsome villain. He knows Matt. He can do, like, equations in his head. He's the kind of guy who's like, when they think about the guy who traps you in a bad contract, it looks like Matt Broussard. It's like...

Matt is like Matt Broussard and then Rocky Dale Davis. Totally different situations. He's on the other side. He's on the other camp that's trying to get yours shut down in the movie. You know what I mean? It's like we have to stop them from taking over the campground. And he's got a little fucking sweater wrapped around his neck. That's who Matt Broussard is. No, I mean, our our pal Brandon Wardell did that show. And he's exactly you. And that's that's not the show you need to be on.

But at the time, I was fucking... I was here. I was in this apartment living in the living room with a fake wall eating cereal with fucking water in it. So I was... I would have killed to be on Adam Devine's house party. That was... That's what I was looking for, dude. I remember getting... I remember eating cinnamon toast. I was like, oh...

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is sweet enough that the water, you kind of forget it's water and it kind of feels like a dessert. And then I posted that and I got like eight calls from people in Baltimore. They're like, hey man, is she going that bad in New York? - I would have called you. I would have called you. I was like, hey, no, it's not sweet enough.

It's pretty good. I will say, to this day, it's kind of like horchata. Did you put it in the fridge for a little bit? True, if you put it in the fridge, it actually helps. You put it in the fridge for a little bit, it helps. Not saying that I know, but I'm just saying that I know. If you are running a business, every missed call is a chance at money. You just threw some money down the drain.

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Oh, yeah, those were beautiful. We were roommates, too, at the time. People would just come in and out of work. I'm just still in the living room. What's up, guys? Just eating cereal, getting high as fuck. Not doing any, not working or anything. You know, just being like, it'll happen. And then hilariously, it did happen, but that's not, the odds were not in favor of that ever happening. You know what's weird? It's not in favor of,

In this career, none of it's in favor of us. It's a lottery ticket. It is. It's hilarious. Even if you're funny as shit, the odds are so against you that I just, I legit feel like I won the lottery. It's so stupid. It's like making it to the NFL and actually being a person that they know. Yes, exactly. Because people don't realize it's 53 people on that team. Dude, it's insane. You know, even if it's your team, you only know five people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of the 53. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

And then you look at the numbers, it's like the average career is four years. And those motherfuckers are making maybe like 400. Like the league minimum now might be 800K or some shit like that. But it's like...

Half that's gone. Depending on where you're playing, that's gone on taxes. Like, yeah. We had a coach that played in the NFL. I think it was the year... He was a scab. It was the year they were doing the... It was the year they had the lockout and they were like, fuck it, whoever's on the street, we're putting him. He was pretty good, though. But yeah, that was like... He was a music teacher and running backs coach.

at a Baltimore City Public High School. So that's kind of what most of the career leads to. So this is why I don't feel like people, I don't ever feel bad about not making it to a certain league because I have been privy to have people who, playing basketball in middle school, my middle school coach played for the Atlanta Hawks. Wow. But he was our middle school gym coach.

Right. Like, you're a gym coach. And that's 12, by the way. The NBA is, like, it's not the NFL. You know what I mean? In the NFL, right? The NFL is crazy. I decided I'm going to get fit, and I go to 24 Hour Fitness in Houston. Recently, what are we talking about? No, this is years ago. Okay, okay. I was, we're going to say 2004. Okay, yeah, yeah. And I'm in there.

Working out and I noticed that my trainer has on a Super Bowl ring. - Oh, the ring on? - He's fucking, he's holding your, making sure your squat form is good and the ring is hitting your back. - Who did you play for? He was like, "The Cowboys." - Brutal, in Texas, a ring from the Cowboys. - And I rooted against you.

Now you're my trainer. What happened? Brutal stuff. Yeah, you said you were in, when you were in prison, there was a player from the, where was he from? Dexter Manley. Yeah, Dexter Manley. Not only, that guy was a legend. A legend. Yeah. Like, this is, it's not my favorite story, but it's up there. It's a good story, man. That,

We in the day room. I remember when he got there, right? Dave was, people would come and tell me. He's like, yo, there is a monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He played D-End, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's usually like a huge guy. And I'm like, okay. I'll just pull up some, do some fucking producing for Christ's sake. So I walk out of, because we're on the trustee side. So I walk out going over by the cafe.

I'm looking, I was like, is that Dexter Manley? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We from the same neighborhood. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. And I go over, I said, Dexter. He's like, what's up? Man, what's up? Just happy as can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man, what's going on? Yeah. So I'm like, yo, man, I was telling him, do y'all know who this is? This is Dexter Manley. Yeah, yeah. So then they moved Dexter Manley from four building to the trustee building, right? Yeah.

And so we're watching television. This is when ABC used to do them things where they would talk about sports. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Dexter Manley, they were showing Dexter Manley. And he was like, and when it went off, it went to commercial and it said, Dexter Manley, one of the greatest D.D.s in the whole league. Yeah, yeah.

And this is me. Dexter's sitting on the bench behind me. That's brutal, by the way. Imagine watching your highlights and you're wearing like, you know. And I turned so slow. And I said, now look at you. They thinking Dexter's about to kill me. Yeah, I mean, he's huge. But Dexter was a gentle soul, man. He got up and went to his bunk. You heard that?

And it was so crazy that I had to go upstairs. Like, yo, man, you need to go talk to Dexter. I'm like, I'm not going to talk to Dexter. And I went up and I sat on the edge of his bunk. I said, he was facing me. And I was like, Dex, I was just messing with you, man. And Dexter, I can only do that. Dexter was looking at me like this and he turned his back like this. I said, no, you wasn't. I said, no.

Yo, man, you got to come to the cafeteria. We got to walk in because you're making me, people mad at me. You hurt Dexter Manley's feelings. Seems like a pretty cool, all things considered, the fact they're like, hey, check in with Dexter. Let's work through this as a community. You messed up with Dexter, bro. Dexter wasn't doing nothing to you, man. You're an asshole. I'm like, what?

Honestly, pretty good. You don't hear those stories about prison. Where it's like you have to talk it out with a former football legend. Man, he definitely going to the Hall of Fame. Yeah, yeah. Man, Dexter was... And then I saw him...

What did he do? What was he in for? Like, what did he do? He was drugged. It was something drug related. Dexter's in a better space now for sure. And I always be asking people, you know, because you don't keep up a lot. Of course. You're like, is he still

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always ask myself if he's still alive. I mean, NFL players, the odds aren't good. You know what I mean? When you're that, I mean, the whole thing is you fuck your body up. Hollywood Henderson was locked up and he won a lottery twice. Wow. You know how crazy it is? Do you win a lottery twice? You won an actual lottery? Like you won a lottery two times.

Henderson. Yeah. It's like, people look him up. Hollywood Henderson won the lottery two times. Great name. Like, how do you, how do you, look. $28 million. Holy fuck. He had previously spent $20,000 on lotteries. Oh, so he was kind of trying to game the system that he often plays with the jackpot because he's $20 million. He purchased the winning ticket of pharmacy in Austin. That's wild. Yeah.

To go from, like, a Super Bowl winner to prison to two lotteries, that's some high highs and some low lows. I respect that. He's won, like, a bunch. That's crazy to win a lottery. Most people don't ever win a lottery. He's won twice. My grandfather was addicted to the lottery. He won maybe the equivalent of $800. He played the lottery every fucking day in Greece.

To the point where he was using all his, like, the equivalent of his social security. It went to exotic birds and the lottery. He collected birds in a shitty little balcony in Athens. Wow. Covered in bird shit, you know, just, like, would fuck everything up. And he just played the lottery. He would go into the... He was, like, a junk guy. He would, like, check out... He was a big hoarder. But he literally... He won it...

Truly, he won it one time for essentially $800. I mean, talk about, he did not have Hollywood Henderson's luck. I'll tell you that much. And that is, $800 is a cockatiel. Yeah.

Absolutely. They went to some pills to make a fucking, to make a parrot's coat shiny. Yeah. My, yeah, they were, and he's, you know, my grandparents were in a arranged marriage, so this like old school, like, you know, villager shit, and they hated each, and it was literally like, he wouldn't let my grandma put the fucking lights on. He was like, you're wasting money. And then he would just put all the money in bird feed.

He would buy like high-end bird feed and he's eating like canned sardines. That's the kind of guy he was. What's wrong with just regular sunflower seeds? Yeah, I think they would have been fine either way. Shout out to Stavros Halkis, who I'm named after. Because I've been thinking when you feed animals like this high-end food,

But you see healthier animals that don't have anybody looking after them. Like, what are they eating? It's the rich child kid who had to scrap things. That's basically it. The animals were just figuring out, that's you. And then the high-end feed is like your kids. You know what I mean? So you got to do a little sprinkling of struggle in there, I think. I think that's what... And I truly believe that this is what my children...

miss like struggle like my my 14 year old son he doesn't he's like in his mind he's like struggle yeah i've heard of that word yeah yeah yeah it's a concept it's a concept not not a lived experience his struggle is do i want a dozen oysters or do i want two dozen should i get the ones from long island or should i do a west coast oyster today yeah

I'm feeling raw today. I am feeling charbroiled. And I'm upset because they're not actually charred like I like them. That's his struggle, man. Seabass a flounder. He doesn't, like, that's weird. And I tell him all the time that it was different for me, you know. And I hear these other guys, my kids, my kids struggle. I make my kids struggle. I have them do chores.

For real, for real. Like, for real, it's not. No, struggle is, everybody has to be going through it at one time. Right, right, right, right, right. It can't be, you're, how do you make. Manufactured struggle is not real struggle. Yeah, how do you make your kids struggle in a 7,000 square foot home? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How? Yeah. Like, what's the struggle? I know what you mean. It's like, my struggle is, I look at them steps.

And I'm not going up there. Yeah, yeah. That's maybe the reason to move. That's what I love about New York is like I was looking for apartments and I've had a couple good years and it's just like kind of dog shit. Whereas if the amount of money I spent, like rich kids here actually have like fucked up, you know, like the neighbor's toilet might might fucking leak into your shit. You know what I mean? Like in the in the train you're seeing home, you know what I mean? Homeless people. People are beating off in

In front of rich people the same way they're beating off in front of poor people on the train in New York. Yeah. So there is some real struggles here that you're not going to get in a beautiful suburban Texas mansion. You know what I mean? Man, I don't have to see people if I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like the pandemic, when during the pandemic, I know it was rough for y'all during the pandemic. Yeah, oh yeah. It was brutal.

I was like outside. Yeah, you had greens to tend to. I have no idea. I'm not wearing a mask. I'm not wearing a mask. Yeah, you're driving a golf cart to other parts of your house. Meanwhile, I had a roommate until two years ago, and I'm successful. You know what I mean? Like, let alone. Folks, you know, here at Stavi's World, we're a fan of the mother guys at medicine, the herb that grows from the earth.

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At checkout, that's cornbreadhemp.com slash stavi. Code stavi. Cornbread Hemp. This is the good life. But is it hard, though? I mean, that is a real thing of, like, connecting when you're like... Because I struggle just connecting with my dad who...

We just have a language barrier, right? Like, I mean, I speak Greek, but he fully... We're from two different places. He grew up in Greece in the 70s. I grew up in Baltimore. It's like, in Baltimore, all my cultural stuff is American stuff. You know, we have some... But, like, I can't imagine if you kind of had, like, a generational shift plus just...

how different your lives are because like you at 14 it wasn't charbroiled oysters you know what I mean it was like I mean even the stories about when you I love that story too when your dad just showed up and asked you as a child if you wanted to live with him and it's like you're a little ass kid who has no idea the concept of what like you're like oh I'll go live with my fun dad but like

Your childhood is a lot different from what you're describing with your kids. Yeah, totally. My kids don't even... I'm present, that's one. Like, all the time present. Like, my dad was sporadic. Yeah, popped in and out. He popped in and out, you know, and I'm there. And I don't want the relationship...

that I had with my dad. Of course, yeah, yeah. But my dad was there when, kind of like when he needed to be for something. And then I go back to those years. Like for you or just like for him? Just period. For me and my sister, when he,

It was like if you called him and asked him to come to something, he would. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But you had to call and ask. He wasn't present. And then you're thinking, is he going to make it? Right, right, right. So when I lived with him. Yeah, how old were you when you lived with him? 10. 10, okay. 10 to 14, I lived with him. Oh, wow, okay. And my dad is the reason why I eat oysters, but I never...

They're good. We're big oyster guys around here. He had them in like this glass jar. Oh, fuck. I've seen those. Those are brutal. And he would eat them out the jar. I was like. That's a long way from the ocean. You know what I mean? A glass jar. So far from the shell. Oh, yeah. Those. That's fucked up. Those right there. Yeah, yeah. That sucks. And that's the little jar right there with the white lid. Oh, the white lid. Oh. Goose point.

Yeah. I don't even know what that would even be from. Yeah, dude. That was, it was, because it was just so much slime. Yeah. In there. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. This is not a good presentation. Yeah, I mean, and so it was you and your dad. You're 10 to 14. It's like, and he's a single guy, I'm guessing? Oh, so single. Very single. Very single. I'm talking about, I thought Houdini made this song for him. It's a song Houdini has, I'm a hoe. And...

And when I listen to the lyrics, I always think of my dad. He said, I'm a jigger high, I'm a jigger low. I'm a jigger every place I go. When I walk in the party, I was by myself. Nine times out of ten, I leave with someone else.

It's something about the way I rock the microphone. The ladies in the place want to take me home. That's beautiful. Stretch me out all along the couch and show me what they loving. It's all about it. When I get them. Wow. And then I hit them. Yeah. It's like my dad, I met 42 women the first year I lived with my dad. My dad was using me as part of his game. Oh, yeah. I'm taking care of my son. Yeah.

I was like, I just got here. I just got here. I've been living a whole 10 years. Yeah, yeah. I've had oysters for breakfast and lunch four days in a row.

It was crazy how single he was. It's very funny to think about that time period, too. Like, what's a pussy getter at this time in Houston? What's your dad's vibe like? What are we looking like? What's he dressing like? My dad, tailor-made suits. Love that. He only owned one pair of jeans. Mm.

And that's when he rode his motorcycle. He owned two pair of tan slacks. That's what he had on the carrier service downtown. So he had all white shirts and maybe a hundred tailor-made suits in his closet. Wow. Holy shit. It was weird because people say, I got a walk-in closet. That's the only goddamn kind of closet I've ever known. You know what I'm saying? Living with him, like you walk in, there's a whole plethora of suits. Damn. And then he had

Okay, so he wore python boots. He wore ropers. Beautiful. He wore loafers and then lace-ups. He had different... He never really... He had a couple pairs of snakeskins, but he really liked eel-skin shoes. Eel-skin, hell yeah. He had, like, four cars. Love that. Like, my dad was really... But he had this car called a Peugeot. Oh, yeah, the French car. Oh, man. It was blue with, like...

tan insides. That's a hard car to get back then. I mean, they don't even have them around now. Man, my dad was doing it. That's beautiful. What's the hairstyle looking like? Oh, small little afro, like real small afro, thick mustache. Holy shit. He sounds incredible. Man, shit, I'm talking about

Shit black, always moisturized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like, yo, what was his fragrance then? Two fragrances, Lagerfell and Obsession. Yeah. Those were the two fragrances. An early adopter to Obsession. It's been around forever now. Man, and my dad used to get them. Get them. Get them.

And he could dance. Like, my dad was a real good dancer. What years are we talking here? Oh, the 80s. Early 80s. Early 80s. That's a forgotten time in black culture, I feel like. I feel like everyone thinks about Soul Train, and then they kind of, like, move to, you know, like, you know, just, like, hip-hop. But it was, like, that Houdini era. You know what I mean? People do forget about... I feel like that's kind of memory-holed a little bit. If you think about how...

80s rappers dressed. Yeah. It was kind of still 70s but with a little funk to it. Yeah, yeah. But my dad was, bruh, this was, everything was tailor-made still. I mean, it is crazy how you don't have a TV show because every person you mention, it's like, I want four seasons about your dad. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Every person that you, you know, that then you were like, when you were selling drugs, like your crew sounded hilarious. The girls you were dating when you were like 19, when you were in high school, when you're in prison, it's like every person you like, I literally just want to read your father's biography right now. I want like a presidential level biography just about your dad, let alone everybody else you, you know, describe. You know what's weird? I just had a special call my father in Detroit, but.

It was something that I did not add in there because I didn't think about it until afterwards. I just started thinking about why would he put the cocaine in a Cool Whip container in the refrigerator? Like, were you not thinking about me? Yeah, you think it's going to be dessert. You know how many times I thought about dipping strawberries in that?

Just the whole inside of your mouth is numb? I was like, nah, I don't think this is cool. But why is it in this bowl? Like, this is the easiest thing. I know you're hiding it from the police, but I could have ingested it. Yeah, you're 10. Man.

I know people have the, you know, everybody talks about how, you know, your mom put the like sewing equipment in that cookie container. You remember that container? You know what I mean? The tin thing. The tin one? Yeah. No one talks about cocaine in the Cool Whip. That's all you, man. That's the first time I've heard of that one. It's in the refrigerator in the Cool Whip thing. I'm like,

What about this? Yeah. They have powdered Kool-Aid or they have powdered Cool Whip now. Man, I just wondered that, like, why would he do that? And, you know, I can send you a picture of this. When my father passed, right, I kept his, a pair of his boots. Mm-hmm.

And I got them resold and everything. And it's a pair of boots that's in my closet that I'd never wear. I can't fit them. We're the same size shoe. But my son will probably be able to wear them. I'm like, yo, these are your grandfather's.

ill-skinned boots that I got. These are your grandpa's pussy-getting boots? Yeah. When you put them on... That's a cherished heirloom in the family. When you put them on, bro, just know it's going to fall in your lap. His spirit comes back. You know what I mean? They're haunted. He takes over. Your father's reincarnated through the boots. I kept his hat.

he had this smooth little straw hat that he used to wear when he got older. Love that. I can't remember his name, but my dad was, I see how my mom fell for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I wish I could find my mom's old fur coat because my mom, when I look at the pictures of my mom back then, my mom was a fox. Yeah. And I see how my dad was after my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was like,

Yeah, absolutely. And my mom, she drove like the old Camaro. Oh, wow. It was gray with burgundy insides. This is not the woman that you wanted to come to the school and get you. My mom was 4'11", big heels on, and she used to wear these silky dresses with a thin gold belt. Oh, wow. And she had this huge curly airflow. My mom was beautiful. She'd come to the school just silky.

sexiest you want to be like, hey, you in trouble? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom, no. Yeah, embarrassing you and then all your friends are like, your mom's pretty fucking hot. Your mom's pretty hot. Your mom is like Black Fair Fawcett. Yeah, that's why you had to learn to fight. That's what everybody was telling you. I do love that detail. You've been boxing since you were a kid. I mean, if your mom's hot, you kind of have to fight. That was my grandma. My grandma was like, yo,

Everybody in this family can fight. This is what we don't play about. I remember my grandmother telling me, you're not going to be a big man. I've looked at the DNA. I've looked at the genetics. It doesn't matter if your father is 6'3". Your mom is 4'11". You're going to fall somewhere in between there. And you're going to have to be able to fight. And then I look at all my uncles. I have one tall uncle on my mom's side.

Everybody else is like the highest. We're going to go 5'9". Yeah, yeah, yeah. 5'8", 5'9". Yeah. But everybody else is like 5'6", you know, to about 5'9". But these are the toughest. My mom's brothers, my mom has seven brothers. These are the toughest, thick-handed men. Yeah. And my dad used to talk about my uncles. Yeah, they ever kick his ass? Yo, uncle.

Like, my dad was the only one that my Uncle David didn't kick the shit out of that tried to talk to my mom. Oh, wow. Like, they would literally beat, because they had three sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the men who married my aunts literally was under the, and my Uncle Chicken, he married my Aunt Eunice. Incredible nickname. And then. Uncle Chicken. My, um.

Aunt Angela, she married a guy named Marvin that didn't come through the ranks. So then they end up getting divorced because he didn't come through the ranks. But you had to come see them brothers. And they were on one. My Uncle David would tell me, he'd say, you know how many men I chased up a tree? And I'm like, damn! Y'all had people climbing trees? What the hell?

Like, damn. Fucking Looney Tunes shit. And then you would see their hands. You'd be like, yeah, I could see it. Yeah, yeah. Like, I think, like, my hand is, and I've had some good ones. I've had some really good ones to where I broke my knuckles on. That's why I don't have them right there. Yeah, yeah. But it's like my uncle's hands are like,

two or three of my hands together in the thickness. I was like, yo, y'all are really... And my uncle was like, yeah, knock your ass out too. And that's what I used to get me, my mom used to get me to act right. She was like, you want me to call your uncles? And she would sometimes. The type of threatening phone calls...

Like, my uncle be on the phone talking to me. It's like the mob. Yeah, like a loan shark. Like, hey, listen, listen, listen. You like, I am. Do you want me to fly down and break your fucking spine? And you like, I'm nine. You know I'm nine, right? Pretty nice etch-a-sketch you got there. Be a real shame if something happened to it. My Uncle Lamont, right, for...

And this is so true. This is one of the truest things I can ever tell. Up until four years ago, I thought that my Uncle Lamont killed people for the mob. Because that's what he looked like. Yeah, yeah. And he always had this long black leather jacket. He wore the same shoes, these black kind of boots. And he looked so menacing with his hat on.

Like four years ago, he was like, we was at a family function and he said, hey man, you ought to let me make some shoes for you. I said, what? And I'm thinking like, like seaman shoes? Like, you gonna kill me? He's like, no, you ought to let me make some shoes for you.

I said, why would I do that? He said, because that's what I do. Wow. I make shoes. Yeah. And I said, like, for how long? He's like, forever. Like, 40 years. Wow. I've been making shoes for 40 years. And I said, you are a cobbler? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, what you talking about? You've got a medieval occupation. He said, what do you think I did? I said, I thought you killed me with a mob. Yeah.

If you threaten someone enough when they're nine, they'll think about that for the rest of their lives. Like, oh, he's a murderer, of course. My Uncle Lamont makes shoes in California for a long time. My Uncle Donald, which I never thought was a mobster, who shot people more than anybody else because he owned a cleaner's for 40 years and he owns a corner store. So people have tried to rob him.

And the crazy thing, when he owned the cleaners, before he sold the cleaners, his wife's name was Louise. So I used to call him George Jefferson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he shot...

Maybe like two years ago he shot somebody who tried to rob his store. Wow. Where's the store? In Mississippi. Okay. Damn. And the funniest thing, so how the world is, people say the world is small, but it's not. You just get in these spaces with people. Roy Woods Jr. Yeah. We're taping this show with Ari Shaffir. Uh-huh. And we chatting it up, and he's like, y'all have people in Clarksdale. And I said, I got people in Clarksdale.

he said who your people then we go through the who your people thing is and i tell him who my uncle is so he hits his uncle and was like yo do you know this person and he was like

Donald Mitchell? Hell yeah, I know Don. Don helped me get out of prison. He's a corner store. He owns a corner store and he's like a... He's a congressman out there. Oh, wow. He's been... He was the only one that they let stay in Mississippi. They ran all the rest of my uncles out. Yeah.

Running people up trees and shit. Go buy some leather and make some shoes in Los Angeles, man. You got to get out of here. My uncle Bolton, when he passed, they buried him at this place in LA, in Pasadena, where they bury all these high-ranking military people. So we were going to the funeral, and I was like,

I said this to my aunt. I was like, hey, I don't know who else passed, but they must be really important. Because they got all the flags lowered. They had all these high-ranking people out there. They got the people coming to do the 21-gun salute. And I was like, who else passed? She's like, this is for y'all. I was like, what? Yeah, they didn't double book the funeral. And he was some...

big shot in the Air Force. Oh, wow. And I was like, I didn't really know any of this about y'all. I'm just thinking about the threats. Yeah, yeah. The threats will stick. The threats will stick. All of them had called me talking about, you playing with my sister? No, it's my mom, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it just sounds like you had a ton of like,

a bunch of different sort of like, your dad was in and out, whatever, but it's like you did have a ton of like male, like figures to look up to. And then even, even outside of your family, I, you know, when, you know, as you were growing up, like people in high school when you were, and then like the other thing about prison where you were talking about just like a lot of the older guys too, that's an interesting aspect you don't think about how much like community is in there, how much like you learn from the guys that have been there. It was, I mean, that's the other thing I love about it. It's like, it does humanize,

And it's weirdly a lighthearted take on prison, which you never get. It's always like doom and gloom or whatever. And I'm sure it's bad. But I'm sure you'd rather not have been in there. I could have not met any of them. Appreciate the advice, but didn't want to meet you under these circumstances. And that's the thing. You meet people who...

And they never talk about the people who learned from their mistakes and trying to, it's like in the hood. It's a misunderstanding that it was people that never, we never allowed to be in the streets because we saw potential in them. You know, so we would say like, my boy, he played basketball. Hey man, he trying to get out here in the streets. I'm like, for what though? This is not, this is not you. So here goes some bread.

Go to school, get all the stuff that you want to get, that you feel like you want, and we'll see you on the other side. Not this side. Yeah. You know, but they never talk about those guys because real street guys would never let you get in the streets if you had other potential. You know, unless they, man, if we caught you doing something that you wasn't supposed to be doing,

That's a whole nother threat. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, man, get out of here. Yeah. Go work on your jump shot. Yeah. Yeah. Go. But we had this guy named Phil, right? Phil played all the instruments, but his instrument was the saxophone. And Phil would be walking from school and be like, yo, Phil, come over here and play your little harmonica for the people. Right.

Because they don't believe that you good. And then there'd be other dudes like, he can't play that shit. And then you'd be like, man, Phil, he's there with something. And then Phil, so Phil would be playing. Just a little concert. We'd give him some bread to play. But then I remember when our boys got killed and Phil was coming. And I said, yo, Phil, man, play something to uplift their spirits, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Phil out there, whoo.

Yeah. That's the place to honor him. And Phil is a good producer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's certain things that they forget about what we would not allow. For sure. You know what I'm saying? In our neighborhood, you couldn't be like a dude known as being creepy with kids. Yeah, yeah.

We gonna come and see. Yeah, I think that's a universal good to police those motherfuckers. It's a... Hey, man, you're a grown man. You talking to girls. Yo, yo, yo, what you doing? Yeah. And I think it's a space for neighborhoods that don't have active police for...

It's got to be somebody that polices the situation. Well, that's also... I mean, the funny thing is people, whenever they talk about... Because American culture...

It's so funny how Italians talk about how good the mafia is. And it's always shit like that, where it's like, when it started, it was kind of like, kind of starts like a neighborhood, almost like policing thing. And then obviously it gets out of control. I think with each generation, that's kind of harder and harder to pull off. It just becomes like, you know, Morals go down. Morals go down. Every generation like, hey, it's pretty cool having a lot of drugs and money. I'm going to stop doing this bullshit community service and just get fucked up and get pussy. Yeah.

I think that's a hard thing to pull. You know, you got to thread the needle for a while. But it is fun. Yeah, there is no credit for that for sure. But I do love the, I do love that. And this, when you're doing all this stuff, that's when, this is like when you're, because you were also young at the time, right? Very young. You were like 19, 20. No, I went to prison at 19. Oh, you went to prison at 19. Yeah, I was 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. Yeah.

Four days on the street at 19. Wow, four days. That's not a bad work schedule. You get three-day weekends. October 17th is my birthday. I was gone by October 21st. Wow. So I never really, I was on the streets four days at 19. Wow. I missed all of 19. Yeah, yeah. Got out when I was 25. 25, okay. Six years, some crucial years. Yeah. I mean, I guess that is sort of like...

Kind of going to college, I guess. A lot of development. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of development, yeah. Like, the worst part about it was I had no, like, women skills. Like, all of my skills was very juvenile because, like, yo, you want a shrimp basket? Like, that's juvenile-ass conversation. Yeah, because you have a ton of money. You're like, yeah, I'll just buy you something nice. Yeah, but when you get out, that's kind of...

I was really awkward. Yeah. And I still think that I'm awkward, but yeah, I was really awkward when it came to women when I came home. Yeah. 25, no real interaction for all those years. You know, you talking to a teacher that works in the front office is not the same as being in a relationship. Of course. Yeah. And then you have developed this, this callous attitude.

of how you talk. Yeah. So in prison, every conversation was basically aggressive. Yeah, yeah, of course. So you just learned to talk...

But everything is aggressive or it's an argument. Yeah. Want to go to TGI Fridays, bitch? Are you free? That's not going to work. I'll trade you two cigarettes and a bar of Irish soap for you to come to TGI Fridays with me. It's not a feeling. They didn't like it.

And especially because you're, like, you go out and now it's, like, you're an awkward kid, but you kind of, like, you also probably felt like the man when you're making so much money. Yeah. You're wearing cool. I remember you tell a story about how you're just at, like, a homecoming game or something. You're wearing a fur coat. Yeah. You're 18 or whatever in a fur coat. The Elsterc and Hastings game. So the high schools are right next to each other. We connected by annex, but we were rivals. Gotcha, gotcha. And this is a...

academically high school and I'm there with a short mink on like yeah y'all see what this is you're gonna be able to fuck when you have a mink on as a 17 year old or whatever everybody back to being my dad and then you're 25 and you have none of that you're just like how do I even figure it out I have less I have so not any money yeah

So not any money. You know, you get out, they give you like $100 when you initially get out and then you have to report to your parole officer to get the other $100. So you get a total of $200 when you release. Wow, perfect. Rebuild. Rebuild your life with $200. I bought a bag of Ruffles and an Orange Crush and all of a sudden I had $1,750. Yeah.

Inflation has increased while I was on man. I see how people can go back to doing what they were doing to make money. Of course, it's almost set up to do that, it feels like. But I think my mindset was so against it because they thought that that's what I was going to do. And it irritated the shit out of me. I remember this CO told me he would see me again. I was like,

Like, why would you see me? Yeah. Yeah. What would I be doing for you to see me again? I would be. Oh, I never told the story, but I got transferred from one unit to another. And I because I went to school to electrician school. Right. So they transfer you to another unit because that's where the school is at. And then I got transferred back to my original unit. And this white guy who I was cool with.

he was being really standoffish with me I thought maybe something that happened to him while I was on something and then he just one day just came to me say man I believed in you oh I was like what he said man we used to talk about developing and getting out and not never coming back he said man I believed in you I said why did you stop yeah yeah he said because you're back

Back from where? Yeah, yeah. He thought you got out. He thought I got out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And came back. I'm like, fucking no. I went to another school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to another prison. This is a minimum security prison? I went to a fucking max and this shit was different. You lucky you see me here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On Bill Clemens was totally different from Torres. Yeah. The riot happened on Torres. That's just a simple riot. Sure. Bill Clemens was a different person.

Monster Yeah Like a max Max Super max Yeah

and minimum are so far away from each other it is crazy so you went from the minimum to the supermax then back to the minimum yeah they transferred me back that is kind of a heartwarming I mean those two stories are kind of weirdly hard it's like a Disney story where the guy's like I believed in you man it's like again the like connection you had with either guys in prison is heartwarming the Dexter Manley story is hilarious his feelings are hurt it's like guys we gotta put this between us and then this guy being like

I really wanted you to get your potential. You know, it's really, it's a funny thing to, that's a, that is, and if you haven't seen it, go, go watch it, guys. Go watch all the specials. He's got, you know, so many on his YouTube, on his YouTube channel, free. Go see him right now. And I think, I think you're going to be perfect for this. We like to give advice to our fans here. So they leave voicemails. Okay. And they'll call in and we just, we'll give them a little advice here. Voicemails. Yeah, yeah. They've called in. Eldis, what do you got for us, buddy?

Hey Stav, Eldis and guests and/or guests, would appreciate your advice on something I've been struggling with.

I'm almost 30 and have never had a girlfriend. We're going to get into all the reasons, but I was not in a great place in much of my 20s, and it just never happened. Nevertheless, the last couple of years have been better, and there have been a couple of instances where I've been seeing somebody for a little bit, and we get to that point talking about exes, and when I say I don't have one, you can just right away kind of see...

look on their face like what the fuck is wrong with this person and I try to explain myself and you know do what I can to ease concerns but they rightfully in my opinion are worried you know I'm almost 30 if I'm talking to some girl who's 30 she's probably looking for a husband and someone my age that's never had a girlfriend the questions start to come up of you know would you marry the first girl you date etc etc so I try to do my best to smooth things over but

Every time that this conversation happens, they end it within a couple weeks after that. So just looking for some advice on maybe ways that I can message them better or ways that I can help sort of get them over the hump that, you know, just the fact that I've never had a girlfriend doesn't totally disqualify me because I –

I think I'm a kind, thoughtful person and would be a good partner, boyfriend, father, the whole deal. But it's just sort of been an issue as of late. So, appreciate any thoughts you have. Much love. Interesting. Damn. Never had a girlfriend. I mean...

I don't know. I think he's phrasing that wrong. Yeah. Okay, so he says it's happened multiple times, right? Yeah, exactly. Use them as references. Totally, yeah. I've had one technical girlfriend. You know what I mean? Like, I've dated a bunch of girls. Like, who cares? Yeah, I've dated. I really haven't been in a committed relationship with these people. But if something that... And oddly enough, the reason why is because...

I don't claim them as exes at that point because it wasn't long term. Three weeks is not a long time. You could be my first...

You like the first. Also, lie. Who gives a fuck about this? This isn't like a... I would say call those little three-week bullshit. Just say they're your exes. You've dated, you've been whatever. The fact that you haven't had a serious girlfriend, I think this guy's letting it stop him. Yeah. Right? Because it's like, if he's like a charming... It sounds like your dad never technically had any exes. He didn't have any.

Yeah.

It had to be like this. The problem here is a classic problem of just not believing, thinking this is going to be an issue, right? Because who cares, dude? It comes up. What happens is this comes up and he goes, I've never really had an accident. You know what I mean? If he's like, I've been seeing a couple of people here on and off again, nothing really clicked.

you know, just that's all. And if you just moved it forward, it wouldn't be that big a deal. You're just, you are scared to bring up the fact that you haven't had a girlfriend. It sounds like you fucked before, which is big. Stop talking like you just had only sex workers. I guess that is. Yeah, exactly. I've never really been with him. I just paid for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've had some long... I mean, that might actually be better because you might actually have some camaraderie if you saw one sex worker over and over again. It's like we have a barber you really like. That's a relationship that could last a decade, honestly. So maybe that's the key, dude. But yeah, just message us better. You're clamming up, I promise you. If these girls like... Because the other thing is, you could spin this...

This guy clearly wants... He sounds like the type of guy who would get married to his first girlfriend. Say you were saving yourself. Oh, that's good. That's good. Women say it? Like, yo. No, I've been saving myself. I was religious. And put the eyebrow up and say, I've been saving myself for the right person. Yeah. You talking like you killed everybody that you... Goddamn baby. My exes? No, you can't talk to them. Why? Yeah.

Stop behaving like that and you'll be fine, dude. I promise. This is just... Because this could be a positive, too. This could be like... I've known women who have... Who've sort of like trained... You sound like the kind of guy who would like to submit to the will of a woman who can control his life. Eldest's wife makes all the big decisions. Isn't that right, Eldest? And you love it. That's right.

You sound like an eldest type of fella. One of these women, you're going to find the right type of girl and you're going to be fine. Just stop letting this be the thing that you get nervous about because it's all in your approach. You think it's a big deal, so you've made it a big deal. If you're like, I've seen a couple people, I've been in a couple... And you can also... Like, it's a resume. You're never as hard a worker as you pretend you are on your resume. You saw a girl for three weeks...

make it seem like it was a couple-month relationship. It's not the big... You're not a piece of shit unless you are, unless you did do some weird shit, but it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you had some mental illness things, you had some other shit going on. And by the way, recovering from all that shit, that can be cool too. You could be like, look, I was struggling in my 20s and then I had a couple little short-term relationships, but I'm really looking now to date seriously and I want something serious. Because you think you're already getting ahead of them

thinking it's going to be a deal breaker, make sure it's not. Be like, no, I'm over that now. You know, I was a bit of a late bloomer, but I feel good now and I'm really looking for something serious. You'll be fine, bud. Especially if you have a good career. Totally. You focused on your career. You fucking 30. Yeah. And the second round is about to happen. Yeah. And like, you didn't really have anything to offer. Right. That might be the bigger problem. You didn't have anything to offer. My son's 31. He shouldn't have had any goddamn girlfriends. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Before now. Because you didn't have shit to offer, broke ass. Like, why would your broke ass even have somebody? You know, I was struggling with this girl. I didn't have shit. Man, look, man. And I think that's the thing. And then if you want to boost yourself up, there are, this is what always gets me. And I've always seen homeless men with. Yeah.

Yeah. They'll have women in their tent for sure. Sir, you can get a woman. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Look at somebody that looks worse than you. I'm like, this guy has someone. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's exactly it. You're letting this be the stop. You're letting this stop you. The homeless guy's not letting anything stop him. He's getting pussy for some combos. And he just shit in the trash can outside.

Yeah, dude. Maybe you've had a couple intimacy issues, but you have plumbing, you have a warm bed, you'll be good. Hit us with some other ones, Eldis. Hey, Stavi. Big fan of the show. Long time, first time. Just calling back because I didn't really get my point across the first time I called. So, I'm having an issue with my friend who I've been buddies with since we were nine years old. Um...

He keeps things close to the chest, but I have it on good authority from another friend that he was cheated on by his fiance. The two of them have been dating for 10 years and...

Apparently she's cheating with him on him with the guy from work. Damn. I don't know how she thought she'd get away with it because he's a detective. So he figured that shit out eventually, probably. I need your help because my friend is the kind of guy who doesn't really let his emotions out around his friends. So I don't think I'm ever going to hear about it from him.

But every time I see him, I can tell he's in a lot of pain. And it seems like this is really crushing him. You don't say. I don't want to betray his trust by letting him know that I heard from somebody else. So I don't really know what to do. I see him about once every two weeks. And this happens...

I think about eight months ago. So I just need some advice on how to navigate this friendship knowing what I know. Thank you, love you baby. Yeah, help me out. - Oh my goodness. - Well the good news is this, it feels like this is an important step to being a great detective.

You have to be broken by a woman, become an alcoholic, smoke cigarettes with some, you know, five o'clock shadow. And that's the good detective has to get cucked. This is sort of like a detective's origin story, you know? 48 hours. Yeah, yeah. What's the guy from 48 hours? Oh, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Nick Nolte from. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You need a hard boiled story.

who fucking hates his ex-wife. Like, that's classic. You need a guy drinking whiskey with the lights off in his office with a five o'clock shadow going. And that seems like the path he's on. But I mean, you know. Mind your fucking business until he tell you. Oh, I like that. Until he tell you. It's like, hey man, I'm looking at the pain in his eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you ain't got shit to do. Like,

I got a lot of friends and I see, when I see them, I'm like, yo man, what's on your mind? Oh, you're not telling me? Okay, cool. Hey, bring another round. Yeah, yeah.

No. It's also like, so everybody, your other friend is gossiping about him behind his back? Behind his back. That seems fucked up also. Yeah, dude. I mean, look, somebody's getting cucked and they don't know, you know, who knows what their situation is. And you might be misreading it. That's the other thing. You don't actually know what the fuck is going on. Yeah. I mean, you could pretend you got cheated on and see if it sparks anything. You could be like, oh, man.

Yeah, my wife sucked off the guy from accounting. I'm pretty pissed about it. Maybe I can open up to you. Is that okay? And see what, you know, if he starts crying when you say that, maybe then you have proof, but...

you know, this is some soft shit though. If you been friends since nine, your friendship is pretty fucking fragile. If you just can't say it, that is true. Yo, yo man, the fuck you got going on? Yeah. Yo girl, she don't use some shit. Yeah. Like,

I'm going to say it. I'm not fucking sugarcoating. Since nine. You have to pick a lane. I think you're absolutely right. You guys are this close. You either say it or like you say the first time, mind your business. There's no in between. There's no like gazing at him longingly and seeing and feeling like you can feel the pain in his eyes. It's like you can't pick one or the other. If Elders were to get cucked, I would be like.

You know, what's up, bro? So this is another... The other friend, how long y'all been knowing him? Yeah, who's the other guy? Who's the other guy? Like, yo, this is when... No, I remember I was going through this tragic... It was a tragic breakup. It was so crazy. And I was sleeping on my friend's kid's couch. And I was not eating and all this bullshit. And kid came and sat on his coffee table. Yeah.

Because you were taking up his couch. All the seating was spoken for. Now I'm like next to Manny. I'm looking at him. And he says, hey man, not eating is not going to help. That's a low point if your friend's son is the one who's helping you out. And then he explained. He said, yo man, you sit on this couch fucking not bathing and shit.

You have allowed this woman to make you forget who you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, you're right.

but I'm still so weak. Then that shit was over. Yeah, yeah. It was like over. It's like, yo, man, you're not supposed to let your friends wallow in nothing and you're not supposed to hold it back. Man, I went to go see my friends when they've gotten out of bad relationships or out of good relationships that they felt that was so good. I'm like, yo,

Oh, no, she's definitely fucking him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, for real, for real. Like, she's definitely fucking him, no matter what you say. But she said she wasn't. Look at my eyes. Come on, man. Look at me. I'm telling you. And I'm not a detective. I'm telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's fucking crazy. Yeah. And so...

You know, you gotta let this... Either say it or fucking... Or just put it out of your mind. But this kind of in-between shit... And he doesn't let his emotions around his friends. It's like...

Why is now the time you've decided to work on this? You know what I mean? Like, it's actually kind of insane to wait for an emergency to become better friends. Like, you should have been... If you really wanted his emotions out, if you really wanted a healthier whatever, you should have started this earlier, not when there's a fucking emergency happening. Let him deal with it the way he deals with it. If he wants help, he'll give you some help. Otherwise...

You know, just like shut the fuck up, get some wings. And if you want to do anything for him, help him cheat on his fiance back. That's how you become a good friend. Hey, man, do y'all have a Hooters? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They not hot Hooters chick. That sounds pretty cool. All this bullshit. Yeah. Yeah.

I fully agree. Somebody go get some wings, tip a Hooters waitress who's maybe struggling financially 200% and see what happens from there. Just let it play. Yeah. Either way, you're a no man's land. What else you got, Elders?

Hey, Stav, Eldie. I'm going to get right to it. I'm calling from Europe. I have no idea how much this calls cost me. Call from Europe. Yeah. Okay. So I've had poor mental health my whole life. My parents fucked me up. They're pretty fucked up themselves. But in the last few years, I've had a breakthrough with my mental health. I cut them off and it's been difficult. But

It has given me the ability to be able to write music, which is something that I've always wanted to do. I studied music, so it's not completely new to me, but writing music was never something that I could do. I just, my self-esteem was so bad and yeah, I just couldn't, I couldn't even start. But I released my first single at the end of last year, which is exciting.

And I guess my question is, is it delusional for me to think that I could make a career in music even though I'm already 32 years old? I feel like...

Anyone who's kind of successful is I've been doing it over like I've got friends who are successful musicians but they've been working already for ten years and I Don't know. I just feel like is it delusional of me to think that I could Make this work. I mean, I'm not looking to be like hugely successful whatever just to make ends meet and live comfortably and have a nice time I have other things I can fall back on I'm a trained music therapist, but I don't know I just

"Ah, there's something inside me that's like, 'I wanna do this!'" "I wanna..." Yeah. "Yeah, do music full time." But is it delusional for me to think that that is even a possibility? Or is delusional also better than necessary towards success? I think it would matter, right? I'll just say that it would matter. Yeah. So is it delusional if you start an artistic career later in life to think you could have a career is basically your question.

You talking to two comics. I'm 51. And yo, man, if you start and you feel good about what you're doing, then you can have a successful career doing anything. If you put the work into it, you can't look at people who were younger than you. Oh, they did it and they started when they was young.

You can't run from president here until you're 36. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So it's not a time limit on your success. And this is the thing that I tell comics a lot who...

Ask me about advice. They always tell me about the industry and they tell me about all this other stuff. And I'll say the problem is that you're taking the creator out of it. You like everything depends on what man says. You don't understand what's been written for you or what the career. I don't know what your spiritual upbringing is, but it's still another higher power thing.

has something to do with where you're heading and what your belief system is. So don't allow your mental struggles to

Because you're saying, is it delusional? No, it's not delusional. Especially if you put the effort into it. It's a lot of older... Music doesn't have an age. Just like comedy doesn't have... Rodney Dangerfield started at 55. Yeah. Yeah, he failed when he was younger and then he was selling aluminum siding or whatever and then he went back to it. For real, yeah, it's crazy. And so look, yeah, I think it's about how you're framing it, right? Because it's like, is it delusional to say you're going to be fucking Dua Lipa or fucking Taylor Swift? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, let's just start right there. Right? You're probably not selling out arenas or whatever, but it doesn't sound like that's what you want. But is it delusional to think you can have a career? Like, you know, like a career in music, in whatever. No, it's not delusional. And it's good that you have something that's kind of related where it's like music, you know, you could be your trained therapist. You could have a day job.

I would have been doing stand-up no matter what, right? Like if I had to have a day job and I did it – honestly, the happiest years of my life were when I had a shitty day job and I was going to shows every single night and I was trying to get better at it and I was trying to figure it out. And I'll be honest. I was literally happier then than I am now when my career has gone good, but it's like –

It's expected. Yeah, and it's like there's pressure. It's a job. I'm supporting people. Like, you're kind of in a fun part of the creative process where it's like you're figuring your shit out. You're putting out your first... You had a block. You had a block mentally that wouldn't let you be creative. Now you get to just create the music. Like, I like...

Figuring out my hour of stand-up, I like working on it so much more than I like filming it or even people seeing it. Like, you have to do that for your career or whatever. You have to package it and show people something and make some money off of it. But my favorite part of this job is touring, is the actual creative process, is making stuff. Yeah.

And I would have been doing that even if I had a day job and I could only do it on weekends or if I still lived in Baltimore and I was like, you know, would run a local show. There's people like that. You're on tour and you see some incredibly talented people who, for one reason or another, it's not always talent. Like we were saying earlier, some of this shit is just a lottery ticket. Right place, right time. You know, the correct algorithms. I mean, I think both of us

YouTube helped our careers a lot. Yes, sir. You know, you change that. You shift that window five years earlier, five years later. Maybe, you know, maybe if I didn't if I wasn't doing crowd work clips when the algorithm was just shooting those fuckers to the top for some reason. My life's a lot different. Same thing with, you know, Patreon and Comptown. We were making a ton of money like timings, a lot of stuff.

Even if the timing was bad and I wasn't doing so great, I'd be doing this for a creative reason and I would try and figure it out. And there's other things, right? With comedy, you could write, you could show run, you could produce stuff for other people. And for you too, it's like you were saying you had a friend, your boy from Houston who was a good musician, he becomes a producer, right? You could find something and that's the important thing is like,

Living your life in a way that makes you happy, creating what you want to, and seeing where the ride takes you. It's not delusional. Don't let worrying about the future stop you from doing what you like. And whatever happens, happens. If you're just putting out music for yourself and you have some small fans, whatever, but you keep a day job your whole life, but you...

you know, you're creating stuff you love and then maybe you make connections, you do some other shit, that's great. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'll eat my words and you are fucking Taylor Swift in 10 years and you are selling out arenas. But, you know, who knows? But don't limit yourself with kind of negative thinking. See where it can take you for sure. Man, I have a friend that is...

Booked year round He's an incredible Lounge singer Hell yeah And you don't realize how many lounges There are Like And he when he pulls up And nobody knows him Unless you're

been to a lounge he's been in and then he got a cruise ship gig where it has a lounge in it. And he's like, yo, and people are like, man, didn't I see you on Norwegian? He's like, yeah, how you doing? And he's very well to do. Yeah. Because it all adds up. Totally. It depends on, I think people look at one level of success and forget that there's other levels

of success is down there. Totally, totally, totally. Man, it's guys who don't ever want to be, that don't ever want to have a special, but they've been doing stand-up for 40 years and making a living on it. Do you know how crazy it is when I found out the warm-up for a show? Yeah. A guy you've never heard of. That you love.

Never. He's a warm up for a show. And he gets out and his collar's up and he jumps in a Maserati in LA. He's like, yeah, man, see you guys on Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, who is he? He's like, yo, he's Chucky Brown. Been opening up for Ellen's show for 25 years. He's like, you know, fuck. Yeah. And they're making like a doctor's salary doing that shit. So, yeah, we believe in you. What else you got for us, Big Elde?

Big fan. Let's start a cult. Amazing movie. Thanks, man. I'm just calling because my wife, she doesn't do blowjobs. I think she maybe did one in the five years we've been together. It was pretty awesome. What? She just said she doesn't feel comfortable. Whatever.

You know, we're pretty open with each other and recently she told me a hilarious story about how she fucked one of her old guy friends in the ass with a strap on. You still do that but you won't suck dick? And now I just, I feel like, wow, this dirty bitch. What the fuck?

Oh, wow, we had the same idea. Fair? Oh, fuck. Fair. This man is trying to, like, argue statutes to get ahead from his wife.

You're not going to debate yourself into some head, dude. Yo, your wife doesn't like your meat.

Your meat probably has a stench to it. Some sort of taste that she don't agree with. Shave your pubic hair, wash off your damn meat. Drunk is probably going to be your avenue to this. You're going to have to get your wife drunk. And you may have to get fucked in the ass. How much are you willing to barter here? I don't know.

Maybe start off with the strap on and use those. Let's open negotiations. Let's open a go. It's like one inch to one inch, got a two inch, two inch to my ass, two inch to my ass, two inch for three, three times, three blowjobs. Oh, shit. I mean, this is, I mean, look, here's the other thing.

This is on you, clearly, because you're a coward and you're a pushover. I can tell from your voice. First of all, not getting head for five years is insane. From your wife. From your wife. Who you legally bought. I know.

This is a ditched sermon that you legally bought with love and time, and you're not getting like, this is fucking terrible. You know what? Obviously, like, we hate, let's just say, philosophically, we hate your wife. We just don't approve of how she lives her life. We're a very pro-head podcast here, and we just do not see eye to eye with your wife. But this is also your fault, because I can't fathom

Like never getting head and just being like, cool.

This is acceptable. You have, you fucked up so hard when you set the parameters of what's acceptable in this relationship. And I'm a little worried that there is no coming back from this, right? Because you, you've made it pretty much clear that, Oh, haha. I don't even care about getting head. Meanwhile, you're seething every night. You're just like, just suck it. You fucking bitch. I'm fucking, I work hard in the back of your head. You're constantly, you just want there to be some head, right?

I think your whole demeanor has to shift. I think you have to change something about your life that you have to become a head getter. You're not a head getter right now. You're a guy who will allow himself not to be sucked off, even in a long-term relationship. And this isn't like the head's dropped off. This is from the jump. From the jump. One blowjob in five years.

That's one, the ratio of days in this relationship to blowjobs gotten is one to like 1,800. That's fucking insane, dude. How do you even make it to the altar when? This is what I'm thinking like. Yeah. You're on one knee. You're like, I have a ring in here, but you see how I'm on a knee? How about we switch that posture? You want this to open up? Why don't I stand up? You said I do to somebody like this?

Objection. Yeah, if I was your best friend, I would be like, objection, your honor. She only sucked him off once after a Halloween party. This

This is like when people are like, you know, before you get married, talk about kids, talk about finances. Talk about your values. You need to make sure you're on the same page with getting head. I'm sorry. This honestly might be one of my strongest held beliefs. More than literally anything is I must get head. For real, for me, this might be the top. Was this how y'all broke up in Greece? Yeah.

Damn. This must have been the grease breakup. It didn't help.

Like, goodness. Like, y'all never been nowhere romantic where she just felt like, yo, you know something? We in Paris. I got to suck your dick in Paris. That's true. You take a romantic vacation, and then you start decorating. You put a picture of the Eiffel Tower at your house. You go somewhere and get your dick sucked, and then you try and Pavlov's dog her into fucking thinking your apartment is the same place. I would only watch porn. She would catch me watching blowjob porn. I would just turn it on like a regular thing.

Wow, Mike. Oh, yeah, you see how Mike bought it. Yeah, Mike bought his wife a new Lexus. I hear she sucks him off every day. Crazy.

But truly, okay, we're done clowning you, and we'll say you have to shift things here. You have to change something about yourself to become a guy who gets head. You have to be cooler. You have to be more in control of this relationship. My guess is you're just a pushover, and you have to be more of a, you know, you have to be a more commanding presence or...

you could trade your ass for head. Those are your two. Those are kind of your two. It's also funny that she'll tell you this story. It's like, you should start telling stories about how you got sucked off in the past and how awesome it was. But at the end of the day, this boils down to, you just got to have a conversation. It's hilarious. Almost all problems boil down to have a conversation. And I have, I mean, it's funny, but I literally have had...

I was like seeing somebody, whatever. And I did notice rates of head were starting to drop off. And I, for real, have had this conversation where I was like, we can't have this. I was like, I'm still eating pussy at the same clip. And all I want is equity in this relationship. And you have to have that conversation. I mean, are you eating pussy? Because that's another. I mean, yeah.

You gotta get in there somehow, bro. I mean, you just gotta figure something out. This is ridiculous. Yeah, and this is most of this show, Ali. These are most of our problems here. I'm sure Eldest has another one of these queued up. What up, Savi? What's good, Eldest and esteemed guests? This is take two of my previous message, but yeah, so...

been dating this girl for about five six months um she's really cool I don't really see like a feature with her in terms of that you know like marriage or anything like that she's really cool um hilarious trip plan we're gonna go to the east coast we're gonna do some hiking things like that um and I really want to go on the trip but I don't want to break up with her prior because obviously I really want to go on the trip

But I know that when I come back, I'm going to want to break up with her and just be a free bird again.

How do I do that after having an amazing trip? Because I'm the type of person that can make the best out of any situation. And obviously I'm not going to make the trip to hell for her. You're pretending the fact that you secretly want to blindside your girlfriend with a breakup as you try and think over adversity and being able to make the best of the situation. This woman has no idea what she's in for. Let's finish this call before we go in on him, bud.

make the best out of any situation. And obviously I'm not going to make the trip hell for her or anything like that because I'm going to have a good time. Yeah, we're hiking in some mountains, things like that.

So I just want to know any advice on how to do that. What? For context, I don't like hurting people's feelings, so I will gladly put this all on me. I will gladly tell her that I'm the asshole. I mean, you are. You're not faking anything by doing that. But yeah, I'm just curious to see what you suggest.

What are some things that I could potentially do or not do like to hurt her, like not cheat or anything. But I don't know. Come up with a story, something like that. Come up with a story? Feel free to make it funny. Feel free to put it behind a paywall, whatever you feel like it. The permission. I appreciate you. You greet God. And I also appreciate you, the Albanian producer. Thank you. This is fucking insane. This is just a sociopath.

Just how calm he is. He's talking about this like it's a normal thing. You know when you have to secretly, you want to fuck a girl for six months, but you really want to go hike. You really want to go hike in the Poconos. So you can't tell. I mean, this is insane. Yo, you the brokest motherfucker I ever even encountered. Why you can't go on a fucking hiking trip yourself if you... I know. Why you got to... I wouldn't even ruin...

trip by going knowing that I'm secretly planning on breaking up with you. Yeah. I was like, yo, I don't want to go anywhere with you. You wouldn't feel guilty. I mean, basically what this boils down to is he wants to get he wants to fuck a girl while on this trip. This is essentially a guy who's like, well, I don't see a future, but

What I have to get there a couple days early, get on Tinder. It's going to be hard to get pussy on this trip, but I'll just string this woman along. I mean, you're a piece of shit, dude. This is how you get pushed off a fucking cliff while you're hiking in the East Coast. I don't know what happened to me, sir.

But yeah, there's no, we're not going to help you craft a lie. Just be honest. Don't mistreat someone. It's not even like you're like, I don't really see a future, but we'll see where it goes. You know you want to break up with this person. You got it. I mean, the right thing to do is to just, is to break up before. Like, don't,

Or, yeah, who knows? I mean, I'm somebody who's broken up on a vacation. Maybe there will just be bad vibes immediately, but it's just kind of crazy you don't feel guilty doing this. That doesn't even creep in a little bit. He's just like, what's the best way to let her down? And it's like...

and do a joke about it so I can feel like I'd love to unload this on you I'd love to make this your problem but yeah dude you're you're a dickhead you should break up with her before and yeah what are you going half on the Airbnb is that what you're worried about here what the fuck is going on I want to see her in a swimsuit one last time

You got to break up with her, dude. You're being a piece of shit. I'm sure this has already happened probably. But yeah, in the future, just be honest with people. He says he's like anti-confrontational. He doesn't like hurting people's feelings. This will be a good exercise. This is so much worse. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It's like, again, clearly a coward. And that's the thing. It's like you can't... This is worse. You do... It's not that you don't like hurting people's feelings. It's that you don't like...

experiencing what you do to other people. You're like, because you have to get better at confrontation. First of all, that's being a fucking adult. Shit like this happens and you have to just say it. And every time you do, every time there's a hard conversation, having it makes you like, it improves you. You become, you're better off every hard conversation you have. Just stop being a coward. Tell this woman how you feel. And just take a trip by yourself.

I mean, you shouldn't... This is kind of like a diabolical move because if she really likes you, she thinks you're getting closer. She thinks this is like... A vacation is kind of like the next...

This is the kind of thing after like six months where it's like, oh, wow, we're going on a trip. We're getting a long grade on this trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's telling her friends like, I think this actually... You know, he was a piece of shit. Like, this is what she's telling her friends is the group chat. You guys, you know, and you're wrong. I told you he wasn't a piece of shit. He's taking me to New Jersey to hike. It's like...

And I'd be like, he's fucking trying to kill you. Yeah, exactly. That is the other thing. It would almost be more, no, it would be more. Goddamn Yellowstone, you want to go to the train station? Goddamn, what a fucking asshole. You really are a coward. It's like a shitty coward. You're not only a coward, but you're a selfish coward. And, you know, we don't support that here at Stavi's World. And it sounds like you can get a girlfriend, so just break up with her and get somebody else if you really want to.

The longer you do this, though, the more of a piece of shit you are. But she has the tickets to the trip. But her dad works for American Airlines. We're going to fly on a buddy pass. We're flying standby. I don't want to buy tickets. You got something nice for us to go on? I know you got to get out of here, Ali. Hey, Savi. Uh...

Yeah, Canada's pathetic in that way. You know, they still have the royal family in England on their money. It's like fucking... England is not there anymore, bro. They can't do shit to you. Get off their dick. It's pathetic.

Uh, we are working on it. Okay. Nice. That's what we are. We're the little brother up here. Yeah. Um, anyway, to my question, um, I am a 35 year old, uh, recently divorced, uh, single dad of one five-year-old daughter. And I was recently at a park and a woman approached me. She was there with her two kids. And, uh,

me being naive to the fact and like newly newly single and back in the dating world she was very clearly hitting on me um but i didn't clue into it um so i'm just like wondering what like etiquette is for this like obviously it's kind of tough sometimes to meet women when you're a parent um like is it okay to you know approach a woman like hit on them if they're with their children like that seems slimy to me um

Or obviously like just feel the situation out and like let it evolve naturally. Like if small talk starts and whatever. But yeah, any advice would be appreciated. Cheers. Oh, I'm an expert at this. Yeah, yeah. I don't approach women with their children.

Like you say, it seems slimy. But this case, you were being approached. Right. She saw that you were being a nurturing father. Right. And she looked at her crushed life with her two children. Exactly. I would like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And think about the Brady Bunch, man. You know, two single people and they had kids. But this is totally...

a cool thing, especially if you the one doing the pickup. Don't approach women with their kids. That's just me. I would have went for this. And I'm like you. I never know when women are hitting on me. It goes over my head all the time. You've noted a few times how many kids we got. No, I was definitely hitting on them. That was definitely me. I was like, yo, what's up, Shaq?

You look no shit. Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. So, um,

That was, that would be my advice. You missed this one. Maybe you can go back to the same park, have your daughter. Don't do like my father did. That starts looking pathetic, though. It's like, hey, you're swinging your daughter. You guys seen that lady from here? Anybody seen that lady? Can I go home? Not yet. Please, you're any minute. That's my father. My father was clearly using me to pick up ladies. Take care of my son. Shit.

Yeah, and the important thing to remember is that, you know, these women have been crushed by life. They're not naive anymore. You know what I mean? Like, that's the other thing. It might seem a little slimy, but it's like...

It's not, this isn't like high school. There's no like nerves. It's like you're dealing with people who have been through the meat grinder who just want to, and they might just, they might, you know, they might want to, they might want a new dad for their kid. They might just want, they might just want to, you know, get fucked every once in a while because their life is stressful. Maybe you're not, maybe you don't even meet their kids. Maybe you're just meeting at a Courtyard Marriott.

You know, every six weeks. Maybe that's the relationship. But it's like, don't be naive. It's all good. You're all adults here. And yeah, I think and you obviously have more, you know,

uh, experience here. But my guess is even like, don't approach women in a slimy way if you see somebody, but if you're just making small talk at a, at a, like, you know, uh, park or whatever, and it's like, you could just feel it out. You know what I mean? Like if you just sort of hit it off with somebody or you see someone at the same park or the same, whatever daycare, whatever it is, like, you know, you get a report. It's just like anything else, except it's

I think the thing with a single mom is like, there's no real time to waste either. You know one way or another. You'll know pretty soon if they're interested in you because it's like they have to pencil you in between like after school programs and cooking dinner and all this other shit. It's like they'll let you know. It's pretty efficient, I would guess. Keep your kid with you.

If you're approaching women with children, keep your kid with you. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because other than that, you seem like real. No, I should make that caveat. You got to have your own kid. Don't go to playgrounds like, what's up? How you guys doing? Everybody's out here okay. Slime ball. Yeah, no parental, no male figure, huh? Must get pretty hard.

Do you want a Nintendo Switch, little guy? Like you got to do with the money on the thing. Almost got it. Pretty funny stuff here. Was that your finale, Eldridge? You have a fun one for us, or was that it? That was the final one. Okay. Wasn't that fun? Just kind of a regular question, but that's what we expect of your producer. Do you know any Albanians in Houston? No.

It's probably something there. Yeah. But ever since Taken, I probably said it. Ever since, you know, I was definitely coming to see you because one of my favorite movies, I'm fucking horrible for this, but if people ask me, my great big fat Greek wedding. My big fat Greek wedding. Great movie. Great movie.

all of them. All three, yeah. And I fucking love that movie. She's great, yeah. This is when I know I love a movie because it doesn't matter when, what part it's on when I see it. You hop on, you're like... I just, oh, okay, here we go. Here comes the party, here comes all the cousins. I am...

No matter when. It's like coming to America. I'm going to watch it if it's at the end or the beginning. Totally. It don't matter. Absolutely. That's my... And now to see them grow up and their daughter grow up, it was just... Yeah. That was a great fucking movie, man. It's fun. Yeah. Shout out to Nia Vardalos, Greek legend. I think it's one of the most profitable, like... I think it's like the most profitable romantic comedy ever or something like that. She has some kind of crazy record of...

because it was a completely indie movie and it was like, yeah, what do we got, Eldis? Worldwide total of 368 million, being the highest grossing romantic comedy of all time, she made 368 million on a $5 million budget, so shout out to her. Next.

Never reached number one. She made the most money never being number one. So salute to her. I remember our church would take bus trips to go see. Greek people were just lining the fuck up to see that movie. That shit was crazy. There's a little plug for my big fat Greek wedding. And also Ali Sadiq, he's got specials are out. When's Fatherhood coming? Rugged comes out on Father's Day.

Yeah. We announced, we opened up the announcement for the second half of the tour tomorrow. Oh, shit. Actually, you know, tickets gonna sell tomorrow for pre-sale and,

Friday for regular population. And then speaking of weddings, Marcus D. Wiley, a special that I produced for definitely not 5 million. Marriage is major surgery. So yeah, you know, just keeping it moving, man. Go check it out. So truly so much good stuff on the YouTube and, you know, uh,

I mean, I said it at the beginning, but it's like you're incredibly prolific. So when people go, they go to your YouTube, it's like there's so much stuff to dig into. And I think you guys are going to really like it. Ali, thanks for coming, man. Oh, man, thanks for having me. Anytime you're in New York, please come back. And we will talk to you guys next time. Bye-bye.