Bonus #135 - McDade's Maniacs Vol. 5 (Bobby Condon) [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

My therapist before him, she quit the practice and set me up with one of her patients right beforehand, which is a fucking terrible idea. Maybe like illegal. With another patient. I thought you misspoke and you meant she set you up with another therapist. You mean literally a patient. No, she set me up with another one of her patients. It's like if I get these two together, that's guaranteed business the rest of my life. I'm making money on both ends.

Here's a fucked up thing. She did that. Then she flew to California and went into academia. And the last I saw of her, she was on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. She fucking lost. Fifth grader. I've been there for four years. I'm so fucking

She violated the law. Flew to California and got on a game show. Couldn't do her multiplication tables. Didn't know the capital of Arkansas. Ha ha ha.

got smoked on the first Thanksgiving oh man what the fuck she set you up with a patient how did that what's the what's the first date look like so we both have the same therapist well it was we have compatible traumas we went to a movie no they weren't compatible traumas she was a fucking heroin addict you know

It was completely incompatible trauma. It's awesome to be like, so this is what my therapist thought of me the whole time. It is because she kept hinting at, she's like, you know,

I shouldn't say it, but I really think you'd like this other page. She mentioned this. That's insane. Violating confidentiality. That's so crazy. And of course, we're ruled by our cocks. Of course. So you're going to be like, well, my therapist said I should fuck her. You know what I mean? She likes putting poison in her body. Poison comes out of my body. We're a match made in heaven.

I'll skip the fucking middle man and put it right in her. It was like on the last session, I'm finally like, all right, give me her fucking name. Let's do this thing. And we went out like two times. That's insane that she built it up. Yes. She would hint it. She put a little fucking. She made the breadcrumbs and stuff. Little Easter eggs every time. Oh, man. So you go to a movie and it was only one date? Well, we went to a movie and then we hung out another time and we, you know, fucked.

And it was like, it's that thing where you like, you fuck and as soon as you're done, you're like, oh, I never want to see you again. And it was like, no, she was a very nice woman, attractive, all this shit, but it was like I wasn't in the place or whatever. And she... You got the poison out, you could think clearly. Exactly. And she kind of like kept wanting to see me again and I like didn't want to do it and it became like a very anxiety-induced thing. It was actually...

I had sort of like a mental breakdown at work with my mom. And my mom's like, you got to call the therapist. And I called her. I'm like, well, she's like, I just came home to roost. And she told, I had to go to a fucking daycare for like a couple weeks. Oh my God. Like an inpatient, but I didn't stay overnight. This therapist, this therapist's suggestion sent you to the fucking mental hospital? That's insane.

This woman is fucking, I mean, she could not have been batting. I mean, that's so awesome. Do some harm. I have never, that's the worst therapist I've ever heard of. It was brutal. And I really felt bad calling her because I'm like, I'm about to fuck your life up. Because I know you've been worried that this would happen and it's worse than you imagined. And now you need to tell me where to go because you're not,

in practice anymore. You're in California. Where do I go? And it's the fucking mental hospital. Group therapy. People have had terrible accidents. Third degree burns over all their body and stuff. And I'm like, oh, I don't want to fuck this girl again. You know, it's just brutal, dude. But it was, it like ended up, it was like a very, um,

experience because I'm sitting there with people that have major, major problems. And it's so bad that when it came to me to say what I'm there for, I was fucking humiliated. I literally, I'm like, well, I have a roommate and I don't want to live with him anymore. He kind of annoys me. And when I walk into the courtyard, sometimes I see the lights on and I know that he's there and I just don't want to see him. And then I slept with this girl and I don't want to see her again. And

What do you got? You know, she's worried that she's eating cat shit out of the cat litter. You know, and it's like, what am I fucking doing here? You know, but I... You're like embarrassed into just breaking up with this woman, basically. You're in group therapy and it's like, so this is like speed dating or what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we all gonna fuck eventually? She's like, all right, well look, I know this hospital, they got pretty good pussy over there. You can't...

You take a couple days, fix yourself up, and then see who they got laying around. Find your next girlfriend. It's right between a casino and a strip club. You're going to have yourselves a time.

Time is precious, and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24-7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow-ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments, and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year-round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.