C03 - Ep. 16 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Lost Souls & Lost Hulls
01:35:59 Share

Car selling in record time.

Save your time. Go to Carvana.com and sell your car today. Pickup fees may apply. Click fast and save big. Shop Blinds.com's Spring Cyber Monday Sale and elevate your space with new custom window treatments today. DIY or let our pros handle everything from measure to install. Blinds.com makes upgrading your home easy.

with free virtual consultations, honest pricing, and free samples delivered to your door. Shop confidently with our 100% satisfaction guarantee. Hurry to Blinds.com's Spring Cyber Monday sale now. Save up to 45% with minimum purchase, plus a free measure. Blinds.com. Rules and restrictions may apply.

Infinite interns are back for a brand new adventure. After Gum-Gum consumes a cursed soul stone, a powerful lich begins to take control of his body. To save their friend, Bart, Kyborg, and Mutt must travel where no one has gone before.

into Gum-Gum's mind. Inside, they must navigate the illogical and outwit the unstupidable. But if they fail to defeat the Lich in time, Gum-Gum will become a vessel of pure evil and will be trapped in his mind forever. Listen to this brand new tavern tale, Journey to the Center of Gum-Gum's Mind, right now, only at StinkyDragonPod.com. StinkyDragonPod.com

Greetings, all you ghast grave callers. Swag your stench into the stinky dragon and throw back our latest thirst quencher, Six Feet Asunder. It's a mixture of blackened fallen tea leaves, cinnamon necrosis sticks, a claw full of orange-peeled flesh, and the stillest of icy water. One cup of this corporeal cold one and you'll have an earful of unfinished business opportunities. Previously, our adventurers were eye to eye with iron- Nope, this isn't right.

All right, skip me. We'll do this in post. We'll do it live. Do it live. It is correct.

Isn't it? Our gang just killed the big boss. Okay, my bad. Let's keep going. Keep some of that in, Micah. Previously, our adventurers were eye to eye with Ironclad, Tolv's formidable former captain. After some brief banter, the fearsome foe fled and the foursome of our friends put it back to the first floor of the high three to consume more complimentary cold ones and cuisine. Eventually, they found Fizmum and courageously crossed into the cursed catacombs in search of Pancak,

and their imposter. Roundup a refreshment. Let's resume this rink recollection. Something about my brother saying, uh, swag, your stench really highlights how I am literally a co-owner of a company that's name is about smell and I can't. Does Uncle Mike ever talk to the kids like that? Said, Hey kids, swag, your stench on over to your uncle.

Just trying to connect with them on some sort of colloquial slang level. Have you ever met anyone else who can't smell and you felt like... My uncle. Is he in jail? Because I heard the statistic that people that don't have a sense of smell are statistically more likely to be serial killers. Oh, that did come out a while back, didn't it? Yeah, that did. He's like dragging a body away. Yeah, I say that because I remember seeing that. I'm like, uh-oh.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your Dungeon Master, Gustavo Sorolla. I'm putting this train back on the tracks. Choo-choo. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Can't put a train on the tracks if there's no tracks built. So we're going free. We're building the tracks. What is your character's go-to karaoke song that's submitted by Tommy the Jester? I know yours. It's Crazy Train. Rolling a D20.

That's a good one. 14. 18. 16.

So we're going Blaine, John, Barbara, Chris, I think. You who it's me told if it's Blaine. Dang it. I was hoping I would get low initiative order because I wanted to do the joke answer, which was you who it's me told if I'm a male orc barbarian level five and my favorite karaoke song is the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song.

And you guys went, oh, but Toll, that doesn't have lyrics. And I say, yeah, I just, you know, hum along to it. You know, it's actually, I don't know if everyone here will know this song. Although last time I made this reference in a crowd, people actually connected really well with it. The Pirates Who Don't Know Anything. No one here knows that. No. That's a VeggieTales song from a VeggieTales movie. I thought you were setting us up for a joke. Don't do anything. Thank you, Micah. Thank you, Micah. We are the pirates who don't do anything. We just say, ah.

Lie around. That kind of thing. Yeah, I know that song. Yeah. Okay, there we go. I had a mild amount of church indoctrination. Christian values and vegetables. Well, okay. I'm going to update mine. Okay, so my favorite karaoke song, I haven't had many chances to sing karaoke. If you guys want to go this weekend, I'm totally free. I'm totally game. Would be Holy Diver by Dio. Yeah, it's a big one.

It's a bit of a Campaign One callback. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what Campaign One means. Okay. Well, I thought it was a safe space in these confessional booths and I could break the fourth wall. I guess not. Is that the real title or what's the real title? Yeah, Holy Diver. Okay. Holy Diver.

I don't know because I don't know Dio songs. Yeah, if it's not VeggieTales, John doesn't know. Correct. Or Andrew Lloyd Webber. He was just about a guy in the midnight sea. But what's becoming of me? He's just out in the ocean and he's just having a tough time in the waves. Yeah, I can relate, you know. Holy diva!

There it is. That's me telling on myself that every time Barbara did that, I didn't know that was referencing. John, same. I'm just now learning that that was a reference. I thought that was something we had made up in this group. I had no idea. I knew it was a reference, but I just never asked. No, I didn't. You guys never...

Ronnie James Dio. That's nothing to you. No, I know what, I know the name of the band Dio or, or is he a solo artist? He, so, oh God. All right. So we're going to get into it. I pull that question back. Thank you. I just, I don't know these songs. That's all. End of story. Okay. So like he filled in for Ozzy and Black Sabbath and it caused a huge divide in the metal music community. We can talk about this on Second Wind. We're like, we've got, we've got an episode. We got to get to it.

I love it. I love it. Okay. Holy diver, diver, diver. Very good song. Holy diver. Next person. Thank you. Toll. Next up, I believe is John. Hi, I'm John Reisinger and I play the character that makes us that we can't do this show. And we go on tangents the entire time that we're recording, or I sometimes play Natty wonder who is a drow warlock. Um, you know, I swap around those characters and, um,

What song do I... Well, unlike my friend Tov, which I'm so sad to hear about this, I did karaoke all the time. My village, we loved it. We just did it all the time. We would do it, you know, even just around a campfire. You can do karaoke wherever you want. And my favorite song I like to sing was actually a song that was created by a local band. Their name was Muse. And they had a great song called Apocalypse Please. Apocalypse Please.

And it's just this great song about, you know, the end of the world. And it's got a great, like, opening riff. It's just a fantastic song. Love it. Anything about the end of the world, huge fan. R.E.M., they made a great one. It's into the world as we know it. Yeah. I feel fine. That's another good one. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Now you're speaking my language. Those are references I get. Yeah, yeah. I was almost going to say I love Death Cab for cuties. I will follow you into the dark. Oh! Because of both. They got words in both of those things that I like. But, you know, I had to go with Muse. Okay. That sounded really good.

All right. Well, thanks. Uh, thanks Natty. Uh, we're going to swap over to, I believe our resident DJ, Doug. Doug Boone on the ones and twos. Who is up next. Doug in the morning. Which by the way, if you haven't been listening to the very end of every episode, you're missing out on Doug in the morning. So that's a fun fact. Uh, the Marvel cinematic universe stole that idea from us. We predated them. I was going to mention too. It's funny. A lot of people ask us, uh,

you know, about the various campaigns that we record. Like, is there any connection? Like, do I have to listen to this campaign to understand this campaign, et cetera, et cetera. Or could I just jump in? I feel like the big thing people are missing is the references we make and the jokes we make that like cross over every campaign. Like, that's the big thing. We have jokes that transcend time and space and campaigns. People are like, what is this council of barbarians? I don't get it. Who are these random voices? Yeah.

But good news, if you go to our store right now at store.stinkydragonpod.com, you can get a shirt that shows these characters so you can see who Elga is and who Gum-Gum is. There you go. If you buy that shirt and you wear it and we make that reference, you look down at your shirt and you say, I know that. And they wink at you. The shirt actually winks at you. I know that reference.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Doug in the Morning. It's me, Doug Boone, the artificial bugbear, played by Barbara Dunkelman. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. And, you know, there's really only one time Doug ever did karaoke. And so it's just the only song that Doug sang. And the only reason I was able to do it is because it was at the end of the night when most people had left. So it was Closing Time by Samizanek. Okay. Yeah.

But there was only like maybe two or three people left in the club. And so, you know, I took a chance and I did it and I felt pretty good. And everyone was maybe a little too intoxicated to pay attention. So it felt nice. It's the perfect audience. Exactly. Were you the last performer of the night on the way out? And did you bust out some closing time? I sure was. There's a lot of words in that song that might be difficult for Doug to say. Listen, John, it was hard to find a K.O.A. open song.

I'm surprised that Tove didn't get the take a chance reference. What? She said, take a chance a second ago. And all I heard was take a chance. Take a chance on me. Oh, Abba. See, I make references to music. Wow. Local band for you, Tove. Abba. Yeah.

We're going to find out that's his family. That's his actual biological family. Mamma mia. Here we go again. Thank you for sharing, Barbara slash Doug. And up next, we have probably the most musical of the four. Yes. He needs no introduction. He is Chris DeBarris, musician. I'm also playing...

Chris has a guitar in the background of his shot, which just adds to the house. Sorry. Yeah. Anyway, I am playing Gunther, the level five male folk fighter. We do not.

Um, to, as you say, karaoke, but there's some songs that my village sings together that have very special meanings that we sing. Oh. To bring us together and talk about our commonalities. Did Selma forget to put the batteries in Gunther today? No, I do not eat batteries. I eat bugs, which I ate, but...

The song is such a special... Our village sings it together because it brings us together. It's not easy being green. It's a very special song to my village. I thought you were going for a village people reference.

I thought you were more of like a yellowish green. There's green. There's shades of green. There's yellow. There's green. There's brown. It's not easy. Green. Clearly. It's all the colors. It's just a rainbow connection of colors there for you, isn't it, Gunther? Yeah.

Why is there a guitar behind you, Chris? Do you play guitar? Yeah. Not well. Give us a little taste. Come on, give us a lick. I just, I need to point out if we're talking about Chris's camera, when Chris first popped up, his camera came into, you know, our chat. I thought he wasn't wearing a shirt, but just a little kind of like shoulder jacket because the color of your shirt's almost like skin tone. It's one of those baseball tees. It's very similar to your skin tone. I was like, is Chris just wearing a shirt?

little bolero. He's doing that thing that little kids do where they just pull their shirt up over their head, but leave it on their arms. Yeah. You go, Chris. Oh, he almost did it too. You almost prompted him, John. He went for it. He's very susceptible. All right. All

I think we learned a little bit about all of the players and all the characters today. So thank you for sharing. We appreciate that. Guzzler, what's your favorite karaoke song? Dart. What was the voice for Guzzler? Go on in to the stinky truck. Well, I'll tell you what. Oh.

I'll sing Renegade by Styx any day of the week. Ooh, Renegade. That was like a little guzzler, a little Colonel, what's his name? Oh, Stelai. I have not done the guzzler voice in years at this point. Trying to remember listening to it. You can get right into it by just going, it's Renegade by Styx.

Sticks. Do you like sticks? IRL? I don't know. I mean, sticks is cool. Yeah, but I figured that was like a good song for a stick. This is cool. Mr. Roboto. Yeah. Uh, Natty, make me a dexterity check. That's a, that's a natural one. It's a critical fail. Oh, uh,

Congratulations. You stub your toe and stumble and fall over on something on the ground. What in tarnation was that? You look and there's a small box on the ground. What's in the box? What's in the box? It seems to be a very secure box made of some kind of weathered stone. And on the top of it, etched into the stone is what appears to be an anchor.

I shake it. You shake it and it feels very heavy and it sounds like there's something small rattling around inside of it. You know what? I open the box. You open the box and to your surprise and horror, an inside of the stone box, it shimmers with white, pink, blue, green, and purple like the inside of a seashell. And as you open it, you see on the underside of the lid is engraved a symbol of a chalice overflowing with water.

And there are two things inside of the box. A piece of paper and a necklace, a charm necklace. Describe the necklace. It looks like it's a wavy chain made of silver beads, and it's got a charm on it that's in the shape of a rowing oar and made of... Nacri? Nacrar? Nacri. Nacra. Mother of Pearl. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

And then the un feuille de papier is what's it? Is it folded up? Can I is it is it sealed? Is it a letter? It's just a single sheet and it appears to be brittle and bone dry and it's got a note written on it in common. Well, I speak common. I'm going to say little known fact about Natty. She speaks common. Oh, I learned something. Yeah. Cool. What's it say? Do you read common?

I'm being difficult now. I'm sorry. You are being difficult. You run your eyes over the piece of paper and... Ow! Your eyes make this sound... Ow! Paper cut, paper cut. I'm going to slack it to you so you can read it. Oh, okay. I love that we do this. Give me that sweet southern charm, Natty. All right. That's the wrong window. There's the right window. Ahem. He was in first campaign.

That's good. Blessed Bjorn, you have been more than a faithful follower. You have been a steadfast tide rising to meet every challenge, unyielding as the waves. Because of you, my lost love will soon be found. I am leaving to find her as soon as I finish this letter. As a token of my gratitude, take this necklace. It is a twin toadstool.

to my own, forged in the endless swell of the sea. Should you ever find yourself adrift, call upon my true name and the waters shall heed your cry. The

Sea drinker. Oh. That's your god. Yeah, I was gonna say I didn't want to interrupt your flow, but yeah, that's like totally my god. The chalice overflowing with water. Yeah. Also, who is Bjorn? Was that the name that you said? Blessed Bjorn? Yeah. It seems to be someone important to the sea drinker. Do you know a Bjorn? I actually do know a Bjorn. Yeah.

Wait, you do? Yeah, am I like... Is it cool to talk about this? Like I look in the air? Can I get a sign?

You do you! Yeees! Okay, I heard a sign, so like, okay. I hate to bring down the mood because we're already just having such a great time in this cave, but um, when Ironclad, uh, you know, got rid of me and you know, uh, he abandoned me after a, uh, what's that thing called? Mutiny, mutiny.

Okay, so when we mutinied against Ironclad, oh, Ironclad, he so sucks. You and your siblings, if I remember correctly? Ironclad is like my dad, but like the lamest, poopiest dad in the world. You know, sucks. Anyways. He's a bad guy.

Yeah, he's big bad. Yeah. I see what you did there. So then when I made it to the mainland, I was taken in by a good person named Bjorn. And Bjorn was like, he was like, kind of like a dad to me, to be honest. Another one. Well, yeah, but like a real one. He took me in. A dad. A good dad. A good dad. Yeah. Yeah.

I gave myself an inspiration to ask you. Good for you, yeah. I don't know why that tickled me so much. He was a good person, you know, and having only really known Ironclad and to be met by this beautiful, wonderful person, you know, it just, he was really nice. I love Bjorn. So what happened

He passed away. Oh. Yeah, we had a couple of good years, and he taught me a lot of things, and he took me under his wing, and then, uh, and then... He had wings? No, Gunther, he did not have wings. He was not an Aarakocran. He was an orc, just like me. Is he the one who told you about the sea drinker? Or was that a prior faith you had while on the ship?

with ironclad. No, there was not a lot of culture to be shared on a ship with ironclad. Just a lot of, like, death and swords and stabby-stabby. But yeah, Bjorn introduced me to the sea drinker, yeah. Okay. I don't really know his relationship with the sea drinker, to be honest. Well, from this letter, it seems like Bjorn was a really...

known and faithful follower to the Sea Drinker and is responsible for the Sea Drinker finding or being able to find their lost love. So helped your guide somehow. Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah. How did how did your new dad Bjorn die? What happened to him? I don't really know. I'm not like, you know, good with medicines and things like that. I think he was just afflicted by some sort of disease and

He was taken sadly before his time. It was very hard for me, you know? Why is this box down here? It's a great question. I have no idea. Because this seems to be a gift that the Sea Drinker was trying to give to Bjorn and never got this necklace. Yeah, so either it was like lost in transit from Sea Drinker to Bjorn or Bjorn put it down here. I don't know. And maybe he was exploring this place too for some reason.

Maybe. Well, I feel like this necklace should be held on by you for the moment. I appreciate that, Natty. That's very kind of you. Yeah. I totally thought you were going to be like, finders, keepers, losers, reapers. And I was going to be like, wow, it's like that ice knife from Campaign 2 all over again. And I will call quickly. I can talk out just fine. Anyways.

You know what, Doug? I think I figured out. I think Tove is plagued by some sort of past life situation, which is what he's bringing the baggage from to our relationships because I know me, Natty, and I'm not the kind of person to be like finders keepers, but he seems to be putting that on me from some previous person. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'm getting voices. Okay. I think I need to do a backflip. I just feel that. I don't know why. Is this necklace, would you say, is it movable? No.

immovable. Oh, stop it.

Well, then I'm going to add this to my equipment if you don't mind, Natty. Again, thank you. Yeah, take this and the letter. Why don't you hold on to the letter? I will. I'll take good care of them. I miss Bjorn. He was a good guy. Yeah, and don't forget that the necklace seems to have some sort of power. Metaspeak, is this anything that I need to find in inventory or is it just simply a necklace? Just call it Mother of Pearl Necklace. Woo!

Yeah. Guys, I don't care how low we get and how hard up we get for cash. I'm not going to pawn this one off. I'm just saying that right now. It's actually not. It's Nacra necklace. I'm going to slack you that word. How do you pronounce this? Nacra. I would assume that what you just sent me is some sort of spelling error. Or like it would have been something fancy like Nacer. It's a Micah-ism. Hmm?

Language all its own. Micah has such a great vocabulary. I feel like I have a good vocabulary, but then I read some of the stuff here, it's like, man, that's next level. You know, I'm pretty impressed that Natty found jewelry and didn't keep it for herself. I feel like y'all are getting a bad feeling about me. No, it's not.

bad feeling it's more of just you know sorry someone here was to you know appreciate some fine jewelry it would be you yeah just because i appreciate something i mean a hoarder i appreciate that i'm gonna you know what this is my promise to you when it comes to your ark i'm gonna find something real cool

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry. I need to stop being meta. I'm being a fool. But... All right. I went ahead and, Blaine, I slacked you the letter as well. I just want to make sure that you got that. Okay. Yep. I'm looking through it. I added it to the description, so I've got it. Cool. Why don't you make me an investigation check? Okay. This...

That is not my strongest. It's going to be a nine. Yeah, you realize that with the piece of paper specifically, you need to be very careful with it because it is very brittle and bone dry and you feel like if you folded it or bent it too much, it might snap. I think this would also fit this kind of time and era or setting like an oiled kind of canvas, like a wax oiled covered canvas

like satchel of some sorts. I feel like Tolv would have something like that on his person to keep things dry that are important. Okay. So I'm going to put it in there, but I'm going to wear the necklace. Okay. Yeah, Bjorn's my guy. He's my homeboy. As you, you know, are securing the letter, you've noticed that there is something a little unusual about it. The piece of paper is fairly long and tall, but the note seems to be kind of scrunched up and written primarily in the top portion of the piece of paper.

Hey dog. Yeah, you got that like cool like what is sousaphone? What do they look at the ice? Oh? I don't know an instrument like a tuba right? Sorry, oh you're thinking of the spyglass of Zodiac spyglass of Zodiac killer. That's the one can you look at?

this piece of paper, I feel like there's something more to it. Only if you call it by its proper name. Spy Class of Zodiac. Thank you. Yes, the first of its name. Zodiac.

Gunther is very tickled. You got to respect the tool in order to use it. His name is Tolv. Got him. Nice. That's a good one. So, Doug, you comply? Yes. You pull out the spyglass of Zodia and you try to focus in on the piece of paper. And in the blank area, you can see what appears to be some kind of blurry text. Could I focus in to see if I could read it?

Put your glasses on. - 'Cause I assume that's also potentially in common. - You know, you try to focus it and read it, but you can never, it never seems to come into focus. It looks almost like it's watery, like there's water in the way and you can't see the text clearly.

Water. Hey, Tolf, you seem to be an expert on water, so I'm trying to look at this thing here, and it seems like there might be some type of liquid or water on the paper. Do you know how to... You might remove that or something? Maybe it's such a touching letter that it makes you tear up, and that's why you're having trouble seeing it.

Because that's how I feel. That's really possible. Doug is very in touch with his emotions. Do you mind if I take a look? Maybe I can see it. It could be, you know, if Bjorn wrote it down, I might know his handwriting. What if the paper needs to be quenched?

Oh, it's very fragile. I mean, are you- He's thirsty. Uh, does- does anybody- Yes, Gunther. Um, does- does anybody have, like, a- like, a piece of flat glass or a bottle of some kind? That way we don't have to put water on the document, but we can look at it through water? I- I mean, I have my glasses. Okay. We could cry.

I don't think Gunther heard anything you said. Look at it through water. I think Gunther might just want to cry. Maybe he's been holding onto it for a while. Gunther, if you need a shoulder, come on, you buddy. Doug pats to his shoulder. I will cry on your shoulder. Gunther jumps up onto your shoulder.

Gunther's definitely onto something. I want to try that. If you guys will allow me, I don't often do this, but I'm going to get a little emotional and I'm going to summon the best tears that I can. And then I'm going to look, Doug, if you'll let me, I'm going to look through the spyglass of Zodia through these tears and see if it changes things. I don't know. Give it a shot. You know what? What?

Everybody's staring at me. This is awkward. No, I just think we should cry. You're talking. I was waiting for you to finish your sentence. I just, I just, I just. Jesus, my class. I'm sorry.

I don't even need inspiration. I'm just going to cry right now. This is enough to make me cry. Hey, Doug, remember that time Tolf said he never gets emotional? Yeah, it's weird that our Bob alien who wages said he never gets emotional. I miss my village. And I'm still holding my arm out with Gunther crying on my shoulder. Gunther crying? I miss my wife. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

So now me and Gunther are just crying, I guess. Oh, you guys are killing me today. They're getting emotional. Yeah. It's good. Stay in touch with that. Don't lose it. All right. So can I try crying? Yeah. What do you think about to evoke these feelings, Tolv? Tolv's brain tries its best to drift away from hatred. So he tries to put

ironclad away and instead think of the few happy moments that Tolva's had. So he thinks about his siblings and the time that he had with them on their ships, on their ship, and then he thinks of his good times with Bjorn. So he just does anything he can to see, like, happy tears. Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's really, really good. Okay, so yeah, you start conjuring up these...

fond memories to conjure happy tears. And then mechanically, just so I understand, like, what's the way you're doing this? You're crying and then looking through the spyglass of Zodiac? Like, I just want to make sure I understand exactly what's happening here. Yeah, I'll try crying and then through those watery tears look through the spyglass of Zodiac onto the document. I feel like if this document is as brittle as you say it is, I'm afraid to put liquid on it. You know what they say, like, water plus water equals clear. Yeah.

It should work. I don't know. The old saying. The old saying. Water plus water equals clear. I'm being very vulnerable with you guys in this cave. Maybe your tear will kind of make like that bubble of water that almost acts like glasses, you know? Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? You conjure these memories and start picking up the spyglass to look at the paper. And as you're doing so, you realize you don't need the spyglass.

Oh. Through your tears, you're able to see the text on the paper. Oh. Oh. Doug grabs the spyglass bag. There you go. There you go. You see the beautiful writing, but you're unable to make it out. It appears to be written in celestial. Does Tov know celestial? Oh, my God.

I do not believe so, no. Does anybody know Celestial? I know Celestial. Oh my gosh. Okay, Gunther, I'm gonna need to make you cry. Oh, sorry, Doug.

I know I'm mistaken to the names. I feel like we've opened the floodgates on Guntor and anything is just going to set him off now. I mean, guys, that's just, you know, team building. Oh, my God. Private parts. You can join if you want. I forgot you were here. Private parts is busy attending to Captain Mumbles. Well, there's a lot more people in here than I thought. Captain Grumbles. Captain Grumbles.

But Mumbles is great, too. Dog, this text is very important to me. It could be a message from beyond the grave from my dear Bjorn. Could you somehow summon some tears to see if you can read this? Oh, don't worry. Dog is very in touch with his emotions. Oh, wow, that was fast. And if you just ask me to cry, I just have to think about one thing, and it starts working. What's that thing, Dog? You don't understand.

Okay, here you go. I just want to say Gigi is so confused.

Is Gigi not crying? Gigi is looking at the three of you making all these sounds and crying and just kind of looking back and forth and just not kind of understanding what is causing all this. See, I picture Gigi seeing this and also crying because I feel like when you're a baby and other people are upset, you get upset. But it's the cartoon version where his head tilts back and tears spew out the sides. Let us help you get on shoulder. Oh.

Oh, like, give me the paper. Okay, there you go. Here's the paper. Be very careful. Could I read the section through my tears? Yeah, I'm gonna send you what it is. It is okay. Okay. Oh, dog, real quick, I'm gonna prompt you. If this is from Bjorn, I need you to read it in Bjorn's voice, okay? That's my prompt to you. I mean, I don't know it. I don't know if this is from Bjorn. Just a reminder, this was written by the god, not Bjorn. Oh, okay, okay.

Never mind, continue. Read it in the voice of the god!

Very few know the true names of those who dwell in Hyrule. It's so good. And fewer still live to speak them aloud. There is power in such knowledge and peril in misuse. Guard this secret as you would your own breath beneath the waves. For to share it is to invite the storm. My true name is Najorda.

Take that again. I didn't understand. Let me spell it out for you. Let me spell it out for you. Oh, it's okay. J-O-R-D-A.

It's good. Let it out. It's probably got a silent J. Njorda. Njorda? Njorda. Oh, that's beautiful. What about Bob? I go in and I take Natty in for a big hug. Quiet, Natty. I just need the love and support of my friends. Okay. I didn't know if you were forgetting a name again and calling someone else another name. Did you want to cry, Natty Fonder? No.

You can! It's okay. You know what? I'm too happy for all of this good emotional expression and discovery of lost important people to cry. Okay. But I pat Tov on the back. Yeah, and at this point, Private Parts walks back over and just says, Guys, I think we should keep moving. We've made a lot of noise here. And his gaze turns to Tov. What? What did I do? Huh? Huh?

Nothing, Tov. You're good. Okay. You are the leader, but it's okay. Is Tov the leader still? No, this is still Doug. Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm so sorry. I forgot. It's okay. I get the names mixed up all the time. It's perfectly acceptable. Did you not forget the name? I just forgot the name. All right, everybody. It's time to toughen up. No more tears. We move forward. Yes, sir.

Hey everybody, John here, resident dad of the Stinky Dragon crew, and I'm here to talk to you as a dad. Not your dad, but as a dad. We're going to talk about money. I know it's really hard to keep track of where your money is going, what subscriptions you're subscribed to, and when they're coming in, and when they're being renewed. So I'm here to help with that whole mess that is a part of

all of our lives and the help is in the form of something called Rocket Money. Rocket Money, it's this personal finance app. It helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. It also monitors your spending and it can even help lower your bills

So you can do something very important. It's called growing savings, okay? I know that's a foreign idea to a lot of people, but I'm here to help with that because Rocket Money has over 5 million users and it's saved like a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. That's crazy. That's saving members up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features.

You can cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals. You can do it faster with Rocket Money. And you can do that all by going to rocketmoney.com slash stinky dragon today. That's once again, rocketmoney.com slash stinky dragon. Rocketmoney.com slash stinky dragon. I think you're on mute. Workday starting to sound the same. I think you're on mute. Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn.

With LinkedIn Job Collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits, like FlexPTO or hybrid workplaces, so you can find the right job for you. Get started at linkedin.com slash jobs. Finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how.

The spirit of innovation is deeply ingrained in America, and Google is helping Americans innovate in ways both big and small. The Air Force Research Laboratory is partnering with Google Cloud, using AI to accelerate defense research for air, space, and cyberspace forces. This is a new era of American innovation. Find out more at g.co slash American innovation.

With that being said, Cincinnati was the last one who went and found this item card. That means we are at Gunther. There are three cards in front of you, or three paths, I should say, in front of you. One, two, three. I declare it the more. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

I'm loving the energy today, Chris. I'm really good. There is a, it's really firing today. I had just enough time to let the coffee hit before. Okay. I'm here for it. An IV of coffee. Can I, um, scout ahead? Is that available? Maze notes and tables. There they are. That's a good song. You're buttering me up. We'll get you nowhere. I need an inspiration. Yes, they are. It is available. Sure. Hmm.

From the vantage of Doug's shoulder, Gunther tries to scout ahead. Ooh. Ooh. You do have a very high advantage now. Yeah. That's a dexterity check. Yeah, so scout ahead. Yeah, it's a dexterity base check. Oh, no! It's a two plus five for seven. Ah, the tears are still in my eyes. It's hard to see. The

The tears have attracted cave dust and now you've got cave mud in your eyes. I can't see anything except for sadness. Does he change into animals? No, he doesn't. So yeah, because your eyes are too bleary, you're unable to really glean any further information about the paths laid out ahead of you. I feel that everyone. I will go to the left.

Is that one available? Yeah, all three are available. Are you still going on top of Doug's shoulders or are you leading the way here? I'll lead the way. I'll hop off in shame. Gunther hops off in shame and begins leading the way forward and as you're doing so you're kind of slowly making your way gingerly stepping through the cavern and like I said you've got these tears in your eyes and maybe dust and it's hard to see and you feel like they're

there's something actually in your eye. Like, you know how you feel like a hair or something? I don't have hair. You were just on dog. Presumably in your travels, you've had another mammal's hair. You were just on my shoulder. You might have hair on you. Yeah, it's in your right eye. It's like really bothering you. You were crying. My hair got wet. You know, I might have just got in there. I've always wanted hair. Well, you've got one in your eye. What?

You say leave the hair there? You want to try to pull it out or anything? This is the bump? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gunther tries to pull the... It's a very long hair. I don't know where... He doesn't know where it came from, but it like pulls it out. It's like a six inch hair. It truly is nothing like getting something that is stuck in your eye out of your eye and you just like...

I feel like personally getting something stuck out of my teeth is even better. Oh, wow. You pull the lock of hair out. And as you do it, you realize it's really long. You ever get one of those like really long, gross ones in your eye? And it's a lock of bronze hair. And as you pull it out and hold it in your hand, it takes the shape of a key.

What? Oh. I didn't know my fork could do that. Your hair is magic. What you got, yo? A key. Is it like, how big is it? It's like an actual... Gunther looks around for a door. Make an investigation check. No, you don't really see any locks or doors. There is a spiral staircase that continues the path in this direction and continues your descent into the catacombs, but that's about it. So this is like a key that holds shape as a key?

It's a key that holds shape as a key? What are you asking? Like, I take it out and it's in the shape of a key and it's still like holding shape? Yeah. Like, is it still hair form? Yeah, it was like a long piece of hair and you pulled it out. Then as you were holding it, it transformed from like a long straight piece of hair into the shape of a key. Wow.

That wasn't really hurt. Did you have like retinal damage or anything? Do you need some eye drops or anything? I have my own drops coming from my eyes. Oh, not again. We've moved past that part. Come on, Gunther. We shall go up the stairs, I suppose. Down. Down the stairs. Okay, you begin walking down the stairs and...

As you step on them, they're very squeaky, like old wood and just kind of squeaks and groans a lot as you all walk down the staircase to the next level in the catacombs. We must be quiet stairs. All right. That's it for Gunther. Up next, we have Doug. All right. So what I got in front of me? You actually have three options. Yeah. Three paths ahead of you. Okay. Remind me again. Do I choose a direction and then what do I choose in action? Choose an action. Okay. Okay.

Can I do careful consideration? Yeah, careful consideration. So Doug stands at the precipice of this decision and with fingers, you know, rubbing his chin, he ponders the possibilities in front of him. That's a wisdom check? Yeah.

15. Oh, that's a really good roll. Something about the situation rekindles an old memory, and you're able to regard the paths in front of you and try to figure out which one is the best. So metagame-wise, you are able to reveal two cards in the river. So pick two directions to reveal. Right and left. You consider those directions. Hmm. Hmm.

and left, right, and left, left, and right. With your years of experience in burrows and dens, you feel like there is some kind of creature or animal in the left passageway. And you feel like looking down the right passageway, you get a sense of correctness and that being a better way to go. Hmm.

And then from a metagame perspective with the rules, you choose one of these to discard. And then we shuffle the remaining two and place them face down in the river. I'm getting a bit of the heebie-jeebies from the left side, so I don't think we should go that way. You got it. Let's discard that one. Okay. We shuffle the remaining two cards and place them face down. All right. So you still have a left, center, and right path, but the heebie-jeebies option is gone. That's right.

As far as I know. Yes. The heebie-jeebies you got from that is gone. Now there are fresh options in front of you. Left, center, and right. I will go right. Okay. The heebies and the jeebies. Heebies, jeebies.

Where'd you get those chibis? Creepies. Yeah, creepies. That's a good one. You begin making your way down the right path. And as you do so, you know, maybe it's because Gunther just found some hair, but you're looking around on the ground and you find some locks of magenta hair on the ground.

Oh, didn't, um, was it Pancak that had magenta hair? It was. Good memory. Yeah. Stout Halfling with magenta hair. What color hair was that key that I pulled from my eye? It was like a bronze. Copper. Yeah, bronze. Oh, sorry. Wrong metal. Stupid, stupid. Guys, Doug picks up the magenta hair. I think we're onto something. This is probably Pancak's tail. Hopefully they're not, like, cutting it as they walk because that, you know,

You don't want to cut your own hair. I've done that before with mine and it did not turn out well. Go to a professional. Yeah. Thanks. I always regret them. Especially when you're walking. It's even more difficult. It's true. I cut my hair all the time. Well, I feel like you're more skilled in the beauty department. Cosmetically inclined. Exactly. Plus 10 to cosmetics.

So with Doug's turn settled, that means we are upon 12. Yoo-hoo. What are my options, dude? You've got all of the options available to you. Okay. Yeah, I don't think this is said explicitly, but it seems like we're not going by like the actions table is limited. Oh, okay. Micah kind of updated the rules a little bit for this new iteration. Then let's do, let me see if my dex is any good. Yeah.

Yeah, what the heck. Let's do Scout ahead. Okay. Roll for Dex. Yep, make your Dex check.

Okay, oh, that's a 19. Man, that's also a good roll. All right, so you kind of forge ahead a little bit and investigate and try to, you know, ascertain what the best course of action here is. And from a metagame perspective, we're going to draw three cards from the deck and then we choose one to place on top of the deck and the other two are shuffled into the back. I put the ace here in ascertain. It's a bit of a Nordic joke. Am I right, guys?

Am I right? What does that mean? Aesir are a race of creatures in Nordic mythology. Am I right? Am I right, Micah? Was Freya part of the Aesir? I can't remember. It was the Aesir and the gods that were too different. Give yourself an inspiration die. Yeah! That was told, by the way. Micah says that's over his head. Yeah.

Alright, so yeah, metagame-wise we've got three cards and we choose one to place on top of the deck and the other two are shuffled back into the deck. Okay. Can I... Let's see those cards. Oh wait, no, the ace here were the gods. Okay. Odin was an ace here. Gotcha. You know, you scout ahead a little bit and, you know, you see two possibilities with chests of some kind.

and another possibility with someone else who appears to be exploring the catacombs. Ooh, a stranger. I'm going to avoid that guy and go to the leftmost chest.

Oh, we keep that one and then lose the other two. They go back to the deck. Right, exactly. So then you are still faced with three options in front of you. Left, center, and right. Left! Why is that? I just have a feeling in the back of my head. I don't know. He's a big fan of Beyonce. Yeah. People left.

She was one of the ace here. Oh, yeah. All right. So you go to the left and you're greeted with a passage with vents and small water puddles on the floor. Oh, I give a little splash. It sounds like a splash zone is what you just described. Like what I would take my kids to when they were young. Yeah, that sounds fun until we die. What?

Except, yeah, it seems like as you're splish-splashing around, steam begins rising and the puddles begin slowly bubbling and expanding. Okay. The water's slowly rising, Toll. Higher, higher, and higher. Hey, Toll, why don't you do something? You seem to be standing there as you are in danger. Okay.

I'm gonna get out of that water. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go to the other side. Or- no wait, this sounds like a dead end. Is it a dead end? I don't know. I need something- something new. Give me an action! Swim? No. Run! Play D&D! Run! Toll begins, uh, running to, uh, escape it. Make me, um, a perception check, Toll, if I not. Okay.

15. Just Blaine listening to Gus like he's an audience member just wondering what's going on next. Who on hook tolls makes it out of this?

He was just, you know, in Blaine's defense, it's easy to get enraptured by your storytelling, Gustavo. It's true. He just wants to stare and listen. Sometimes I think I'm the audience. You can see that there is an exit on the other side of the passageway, and as you begin running for it, boiling hot water begins exploding out of the puddles. Make me a dexterity saving throw.

Okay. I think on dexterity saving throws, I have advantage. Yes, with your dangerousness. So that's a 21 and...

13. The scalding hot water explodes all around you, doing, it would do five points of damage, but you save successfully. You take half damage. You take two points of damage as the boiling hot water falls on you and lands on your skin toll. Oopsie daisy. My bad. That hurts so bad. Oh my gosh. The sewer is crying too. A lot of tears today. Then once you get across the level, begins lowering again.

and the boiling and the eruption seems to be subsiding slightly. Do the rest of us need to cross this obstacle? Now you do. Mm-hmm.

It's okay guys. Because I brought it up? Well no, now because Tov's across? Oh yeah, okay. You made that sound like it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't brought it up. Hey Tov, you alright? Oh, I'm doing great. Just a little scalding, nothing too bad. Just run so, so very fast and it'll be a-okay. Okay. Fanto, you wanna hop on my shoulder or you wanna go yourself? I've never left. Well yes I did. I'm back on. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Actually, Maddie wants to do something with Doug. Oh. Hey, Doug, I have something really important to ask you to do for me. You're going to make me quiet again? No, it's not. Stop crying. Could you hold my ring for me? Sure, I'll hold it. It won't fit on one of my fingers, though. No, I just want you to put it in your fist and hold on to it. Okay.

Okay, I put the ring in Doug's hand and then both Natty and Gigi disappear into the ring. What? Oh, it's like the flash. Do I see that happening? It is. I never thought of it like that, Blaine. That's pretty good. I thought this was an engagement, but instead it's a ghosting.

Metawise to explain to you guys, that's the genie vessel for my patron and where Gigi is summoned from. And I have the ability to enter it if I want. That's cool. Okay. So do I know that you're in this ring now? Like, did I see you like, like, I feel like in my head, Blaine wasn't off. It was in my head. It's like the Jumanji suck.

Like when the kids get sucked into the game, it's like that in my head. Okay, so we would know. In the original Jumanji with Ron Williams and Bonnie Hunt. Okay, well, I got a gun on my shoulder and I think the rest of the party in this ring. I want to hold up my shield over Doug's face so that like, you know. Like this? No, like protecting, like so that while we pass the water, I'm blocking Doug's face from the...

water. Maybe like a hat. Yeah. Is it raining down? Like how's the water coming in? Right now it's very low again. It is the small water puddles on the floor. But it seems to rise up and then it went back down. Okay guys. Ready to go. Listen, Gabby, if you're in jail, we're gonna run through the water so just stay

No response, of course. I just feel the ring kind of vibrate. Could Doug then, while carrying Gunther with the shield on him and holding the ring, just like run as fast as he could towards Toll's? Yeah, you begin running as fast as you can and Private Parts does his best to keep up as well as Captain Grumbles.

You're running through and as you begin running through, once again, the steam begins rising and the puddle bubbles begin expanding and the water slowly rising higher and higher. Make me an athletics check, Doug. I was going to ask, this might be one step too far, but as I see this happening, could I grab Gunther's shield and like put it under my feet while I'm running so it almost acts as like a board?

Like a surfboard? A wakeboard. Wakeboard. Yeah, yeah. Gunther, I don't know how you communicate this, but somehow Gunther knows and he flings it forward while you're running so that you can just like hopefully hop on. Cowabunga, dudes! Cowabunga, dudes!

Yeah. So you said athletics check? Yeah, we'll still call that an athletics check to do that. It rolled from a 17 onto a 3, so it's a 3. I give you my inspiration die. Oh, nice. I forgot we can do that. Okay, thank you. You're welcome. Again. Oh, 19. Woo! I was really hoping for the 3. Okay, yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, so Gunther tosses his shield out front and Doug hops on top of it and says cowabunga or something. And we don't want that hem appeal. Yeah, speedily skims across the surface of the water, reaching the other side shortly before it explodes into a cacophony of bubbles and exploding water. Nadia, I wish you could have seen what just happened. It was real crazy. You're so cool. What did Captain Grumbles do? Ha!

Apparently this is called skimboarding. I just learned from Micah. Oh. Skimboarding or skimming is a board sport in which a skimboard is used to glide across the water's surface to meet an incoming breaking wave and ride it back to shore. They do that in California beaches all the time. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, Private Pars and Captain Grumbles did not get on there on the shield, so they're a little slower and the water explodes all around them and they get a little, they're a little worse for the wear. They come out the other side slightly damp and looking unhappy about the whole situation. Okay, but look at the bright side, you guys. How about that exfoliation? Am I right? Those pores, super open.

It's okay, private parts. You can say what you think. Take an inspiration die, Chris. That was good. It's called self-care. Natty, do you just come back out of the ring? Or Doug, do you have to do something? How does this work? Hey, Natty. We're through with this stuff. If you want to come out now, I don't know what to do. I'm still gripping onto the ring.

Natty appears outside the ring with Kiki. Thanks, Doug. Can I have the ring back? Here you go. And Natty puts it back on her finger. I was hoping it'd be like a green lantern thing, you know? In darkest night and brightest day, I summon my friend who is like super gay. It's pretty good. All right, take an inspiration die. That was good. Okay.

Okay, that was Tolv, which means Natty. It's Europe now that you're back with us. Hi, Natty. Welcome back. Hi. You are up. Step on up. You got three paths ahead of you and a full range of options you can use. Yeah. I'm just going to go with boost morale for my action. Okay. And I'm going to roll charisma on that. That's a critical failure. Okay.

Don't need to look at my sheet for that. Who were you going to try to boost the morale of? I think Natty would have tried to do the whole team, but I imagine one person in particular would have been more inspired than everybody else and so they would have gotten advantage on their next turn. Got you.

Maybe you like uninspire someone because of your failure. You just pick one person. You just make a total downer day. That's a DM decision. It's like when you try to compliment someone, but you hone in on something they're insecure about or like you bring attention to something they would rather not talk about. So despite your best effort, they're like, oh, now they're self-conscious of this thing that they don't want to really think about. This must have happened to Gus really recently because he sounds very specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I watched a video online of this person who insulted another person made a comment about their forehead and the person receiving the insult like instantly like subconsciously like touched their forehead and it was it was just a really weird awkward encounter. Oh. That's what's like standing out in my head. Mm.

Anyway, so yeah, you go up there and try to give a rousing speech to everyone, but every time you try to talk, Gigi's following along, mimicking you, making Gigi noises, so nobody can really hear what it is that you're trying to say. I picture Gigi like Patton, walking back and forth, trying to give a rousing speech, and just... No one can really focus on what it is you're saying, Natty. He thinks he's translating. Go team!

All right. So I have three paths in front of you. A left, a center, and a right. Natty wants to go right. All right. As you are heading to the right, you find another staircase. This one going up.

and leaning at the base of the staircase as it goes up, you see what appears to be a small wooden crutch. Tiny Tim? Who has a crutch? Oh, wait. Someone did have a crutch. Hold on. Did Pancake have a crutch? Yeah, it was like a Kaiser Soze thing. Can we do like a history check maybe? Yeah. Yeah.

Can I explore the depths of my information, my knowledge? Why don't we start with Natty since it's her turn and we'll expand it to everyone based on how she rolls. But Natty, why don't you make me a, let's call it a wisdom check.

This is much better than my last roll. 19. Who's Pancak? Pancak? No, no, they have crutches. Oh, it was Pancak. Yeah. Well. Well, yeah, Tolv remembered and Tolv told you. But yeah, you do remember that something about Pancak using a crutch. Do you remember why, Tolv? Because they had magenta hair. I don't know. I know. Oh, have a half left leg. There you go. Yeah. It's missing. Yeah. Half of Pancak's left leg is missing. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And we asked what the leg was that we found in the wall that one time, but it was a right leg. Yeah, there you go. Look at that memory. Yeah. And it's of a diminutive size, so you think this could theoretically belong to Pancak. Okay. I'll hold on to this. Okay. I think we're going the right way. Seems to be a good omen. Not for Pancak. Yeah.

So is that a correct path card? Yeah, metagame-wise, yeah, that is a clear path card. I only ask because I can't remember where we're at in number-wise. Yeah, that's the third one. That's three, okay. I mean, five. Yeah, there was one in the previous episode, then Doug found the magenta hair, and you just found the crutch. We're more than halfway there. Look at that optimist, glasses half full. Living on a prayer. I like that attitude. Whoa! We're more than halfway there. I see what you're doing. Whoa!

What's up, everybody? I'm Jimmy Wong. How's it? It's Josh Lee Kwai. We're the hosts of the Command Zone podcast. You've probably heard of Magic the Gathering. Whether you're a new player or a seasoned veteran or used to playing and want to get back into the game, you've got to check out Commander. It's the most popular way to play Magic, and for good reasons.

It's everything you love about board games, but with magic cards. Deep, rewarding strategies, infinite creative deck-building possibilities, and it's multiplayer, so there are tons of opportunities for complex social interactions. If you can't tell, we seriously love this game, and we think you would too. I mean, why else would we talk about it for like an hour every single week? All right, so if you like Magic the Gathering, check us out at The Command Zone, the premier podcast for all things Commander. Available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, or anywhere podcasts are found.

might be familiar with that

Now's the perfect time to start your High Rollers adventure with hour-long episodes twice a week. It's easy to stay caught up. So check out High Rollers and join the story in Althea, the Dragon Empire, wherever you get your podcasts.

That was Maddy, which takes us over to Gunther. Having failed last time, he wants to redeem himself and try and scout ahead. Before you do that, I want to remind you of something, Gunther. You still have advantage on a charisma check. I think it was because of something you ate or drank at the high three.

Oh, is it the slime or something? The slug? Oh, is it because I ate the mushrooms or something? I don't know. You and I had something tea. You both had some hallucinogenic effects for a little while that have since worn off. But I think Gunther also had something else as well that gives him advantage on a check. Oh, that makes sense. I don't know why I had it in my notes, but I had that, uh...

Doug and Gunther have an acid trip. Yeah. And I was like, I don't remember this. You could boost morale, Gunther. Who's next in the order? Next after you is Doug. Doug, what you did with my shield was very inspiring, and I want you to know that it made me happy, and I think you are super neat.

That's so nice. Wow. That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. You're going to make me cry again, Gondor. Oh, don't make me cry again. You guys making me cry now thinking about crying. That should just be the thumbnail for this episode is everyone crying. It's like, which scene is it from? I don't know. It happened so many times in this episode. This is the one where everyone cries. Yeah, just do it where it's the three of them crying and Natty's not in the thumb and people are like, what happened to Natty?

Clickbait. Oh, John. You can never deprogram that part of your brain, huh? Nope. I'm just so good at thumbnails.

So roll a charisma check with advantage. That's an inside joke there. That I will never let die, I don't think. Two 15s, so 15. All right, yeah. Doug, you feel really good about yourself. You feel like you're puffing your chest out, standing up a little more straight. You can figure it out. I can figure it out. I like to think the second Doug stands up straight, you just hear all of his bones start cracking because he has such a hunch. Yeah.

And then are all three paths clear or available? They're all available, yes. Gunther will move to the center. You're walking forward in the path and you know, you're still holding that lock of bronze hair you found earlier, I imagine. You're still like regarding it and trying to figure out what to do with it. And as you're looking down at it, you see something on the floor beneath your feet as you're walking through this passageway.

It's not a lock of bronze hair. It's a key of bronze hair. Yeah, I know. I was just thinking that. I was like, there's a joke or pun in there. You have visions of a lizard folk who is really into hair. No, no, no. But as you're looking at it, you're looking down at the ground, and you see there's a necklace bead on the ground. Mm-hmm.

And it's near an archway that continues the passage forward. And this necklace bead, can I look closer? I like to think that, you know, Gunther just kind of leans over and puts his face close to the ground to examine it. And yeah, you see, it appears to be made of purple heartwood. This is pancakes. Solitary bead. They have a necklace of purple heartwood. I have it in my mind. You all took really good notes. I'm kind of shocked at this.

I will take it for a pancake. Okay. Do you convey this to the rest of your friends? Yeah. This is good. Let's go. And then, yeah, continue.

I'm guessing the necklace that Tolv is wearing, it's not made out of the same material, is it? It was silver with a made-up word that is like pearl. Knacker. Yeah. Yeah, it's more like a mother of pearl is the necklace that Tolv has. What is mother of pearl compared to pearl? I think mother of pearl is more iridescent, and it's not necessarily a sphere. Like, a pearl is sphere, but mother of pearl can be flat and iridescent, if I understand correctly. All right. Good job, Gunther.

Up next, like we said a little while ago, is Doug on the threes. Doug on the ones and twos equals threes. All right. Could I do a It's Elementary? You absolutely can. I feel like that's Doug's favorite. And you have advantage on this because of Gunther boosting your morale. What a sweet thing for a friend to do for another friend. Don't think I'm going to need advantage because that was 22, but I'll roll again. Okay, 22.

All right. You, uh, you know, bust it down scientifically, logically. You try to figure out what your best options here are, which, uh, metagame-wise allows you to draw two cards from the deck, and we're going to choose one to replace a card in the river. So you, you know, using the process of elimination and logic, I would say, like, looking down one path, you see what appears to be an obvious trap of some kind, and looking down the other path, you can almost get, like, a sense of fresh air. All right.

go down the sense of fresh air path? Yeah, so you can choose one of these and replace a card in the river with it. So you choose one and it'll go into the river. So which side was which again? I would say the left appears to be maybe a trap of some kind. It seems suspicious. And then to the right, you get like a sense of fresh air. I want to get rid of that left card.

All right, which means we will put the fresh air into the options that lay in front of you. So you can go either left, center, or right, and you know one of them has, at least one of them has fresh air. Which could be a trap, but we'll go right.

Okay. You walk down the right passageway, and as you're walking down, the hallway slowly becomes more reinforced with iron plating. And leaning up against one of the iron-plated walls, you find what appears to be an antique crystal shield. Oh. Can I pick it up and take a look at it? Yeah. You pick it up, and since you said you're taking a look, make an investigation check on it. Investigating. Darn.

You pick it up and take a look and you see that there is a colorful script written on the back.

It's written in Orc. I don't know if you can read Orc, Doug. Guess what? I can. You can? Dang. Oh. Then in that case, clear as day, you can read. And again, very flourished, colorful script. It says, made in Bulgaria. Oh. Did any of you guys know a place called Bulgaria? I think that's where Vustago's gorilla is. Oh.

Anybody? Anybody? Will Galea? Can I see if I know? Yeah. Make a wisdom check right now. I'm going to add that as well. Can I? Yeah, go for it. I'm saying this to the whole group, so I would think like everyone. 16. I'm waiting for everyone else's rolls to do. Six.

I hate my dice. 20 plus one, 21. So 16, 21, six, got it. You ponder it and you think about it and you're not quite sure if you've ever heard of that. It doesn't seem like a familiar land. None of us? Yeah, none of you. It could be that maybe since it's antique, maybe it's a land from long ago that no longer exists. Bulgaria. How do you spell that? Probably like Bulgaria with a V. Yeah, exactly. Okay. And it's a shield that you said. It's like some pearlescent. It's an antique crystal shield. Crystal. Crystal.

Does it look like a practical shield? Like still usable? Yeah, like usable or more of like decorative. It's crystal, so it probably would not be super effective. Do you think we should take this with us or should we just leave it here? I think so. I have traveled to many places and I've never heard of Valkyria, so it could be special old. I guess I'll hold on to it for now. Go for it. Yeah. As Doug says that.

Hey guys, I love you.

Interesting. New development. Where's that coming from? Okay, so here's a theory, gang. Vulgaria, the root word vulgar. I think it shields us from vulgarities. It's like some sort of joke thing. I don't know. But I didn't say anything vulgar. Say a naughty word.

Say a naughty word, Barbara, and don't push the button. Boop. What happens? What do we hear?

I'm just going to put this guy down. Say a word for when you're going to keep carrying something. Huh? What? I'm trying to figure out the word that got bleeped, but I can't say the word because Natty wouldn't have heard the word. I'm going to hold on to this guy. It's intermittently. I'm going to bleep onto this guy.

Okay, that's what I wanted to figure out. I wanted to figure out if it was random or specific. So it's a random censorship. It seems to be kicking in randomly. Let us give it to Mr. Grumbles. Captain! So it's basically the MPAA. Can we give it to Captain Grumbles? So he just goes... You can give it to him, I don't care. Okay, now I like Captain Grumbles.

Okay, Captain Grumbles, this is very important. I need you to hold on to this shield and protect it with your own life, okay?

All right. Thank you. He's so angry. Oh, Captain Grumbles, take it easy, man. He hasn't gotten to take a turn, so I think he just feels left out. All I know is I don't think I want to visit this Bulgaria personally. Yeah. Strict laws. Yeah. No freedom of speech. All right. That was Doug, which means 12.

You're up. Oh, you who? Let's see. You who? I would like to 4G path. I want to use my strength. Okay, show us that strength toll. Ah, that's a 20. Oh, nice. So that adds two additional clear path cards into the discard pile. So, you know, you go out there and

You just kind of like clear some growth and clean some slippery moss off the ground and just generally try to make the path easier for your compatriots to follow, which metagame-wise just increases the opportunity in general for people to make a correct choice. You're welcome. Hard work. Yep. Moving boulders. Hard work. I guess I get to choose which path to go down, yeah? Yeah, left center or right. Let's give center a go. Let's give it a shot.

All right. Center square with Harvey Fierstein. What? John got it. Celebrity squares. Hollywood squares. Hollywood squares. Yeah. Whoopee. Yes. Whoopee Goldberg was on there a lot too. That was just Gunther being excited about progressing. Whoopee. All right. So you begin proceeding. And as you are walking down the pathway, make me a perception check. Okie dokie.

That's ten. As you are walking, you slowly begin hearing a sound. It almost sounds like the clinking of chains and a voice crying out in pain. And it's slowly getting louder and louder. And as you are walking down this passageway, it appears to fork to the left and to the right.

You want to maybe hear where the thinking is coming from? Yeah, can I figure out which one, which direction it's coming from? It seems like the sound is traveling down and coming from both of them. The same sound. Maybe this fork just goes around, it's just a big circle and it goes to the same place. Like this? Yeah, just the way.

Left. Let's go left. All right. We've encountered chains before. They were white chains. White? Yeah. You take the left path, and after snaking around for a little bit, you come to what appears to be a cavernous underground cove flooded with seawater. There's natural rock walls and palm fronds and moss and a smattering of jagged rock sea stacks.

Now, is this the kind of water that I could swim through or is this the kind of water that's going to make me burn and hurt and go ouchy? It does not appear to be boiling steamy water. Okay. And does this lead to any place? Like it's just water in front of us and then it leads down? Okay. I appreciate the questions. Thank you for asking. You're welcome.

You see where you have come out, you're on a dock that appears to hug the western edge of this cove. And you realize that this looks very different from the catacombs you were just in. Across the cove on the eastern side, you see another wooden dock that also hugs the eastern edge of this cove. And in the middle between them is floating and sunken ship wreckage.

To the north, you see what appears to be a menacing house-sized skull with one eye replaced by a sharp gemstone. Ooh, got a real goony situation here. Yes, Natty? That's that skull is across the cove where that other wooden dock is past the wreckage. The skull is to the northern end of the cove. Yeah. It appears like both of these docks kind of snake to the north towards the big skull. Okay.

And then there is a watery area in the middle with all the wreckage? Correct. Between the two docks and south of the skull. Does anybody have, like, misty step or, like, some sort of walk-on water power? Like, lily pads that they can shoot out so that Gunder can hippity hop? I might be able to make something. I'm interested. Okay.

Otherwise, I'm going to be honest. The only thing I can think of is I put like all of you inside of Natty's ring and then I skip it like a skipping stone and we just kind of see how it goes. Do we know how deep it is? It's presumably deep, but I wouldn't say super deep since there's like ship wreckage. You can see like parts of ships are settled under the water, but parts of them are still protruding from the top. It's not deep enough for a ship, but it's deep enough to swim in. Is that narrow enough for you? Does that...

kind of answer your question? Yeah. I'm going to be so for real. I am like terrified that there's going to be like a big sea monster, you know? I don't know if it's deep enough for there to be a monster. Is there anything above the ship wreckage or the things? Like in the sea?

ceiling? Yeah, or like that could be used as like something to grab hold of to swing across. Stalactites. It's almost like a big cavern. So there is a ceiling with stalactites up there, but it is pretty high up since it is like a cavern. Like how high? Let's call it 70 feet. Oh, that's high.

If I can throw you, then you can, I don't know... You can throw me. ...catch you with your tongue. Oh, I have a question. The house-sized skull, does it have a door? What I was about to say was if you continue on this dock, it appears to lead you to this house-sized skull. Yeah, as in the docks were just like a boardwalk to the skull.

Correct. We can just walk. Natty goes, why don't we just walk right here on this little path made to walk to that skull? No, throw me. That seems to make just a little too much sense, Natty. Throw me now. I let everyone when we start walking and I throw Gunther in front of us. I was going to say, Tov, give him a shot. Yeah, there he goes. Like Gimli in Lord of the Rings. Toss me. Toss me. Toss me. And you, sorry, one last question about the skull. You said like one of the eyes was a gem? Correct. Correct.

Which one? Its left eye, which when you're facing it is the one on the right. Thank you. What kind of a gem? Just some kind of sharply cut gemstone. Okay. When you get a little closer, you might be able to see, but from here, it appears to be like maybe it's a sharp gemstone roughly in the shape of an eye, you know, since it's in the eye socket. It's encased in some kind of

brass frame and it seems like light beams are casting out of it to the south. I know you made a Coonies reference. This is very rescuers is what this is. Oh, Natty starts walking the boardwalk. All right. Same. I was thrown, right? Yeah, I threw you. Yeah.

Did you really throw him? Oh yeah, sure. Up the docks, right? Yeah. Okay. Roll for throwing. I'm gonna give it to him. While he's flying through the air, he wants to pull out a sword and strike a cool pose. There you go. Everybody clap. Wow. There you go. This is patronizing.

The docks themselves seem to be planked walkways and they're dimly lit by lanterns. This route you're taking seems to feed into the skull. And you said there was a door? No, John asked if there was a door. I said that the walkway just kind of feeds into the skull. And as you get closer, you can see that the skull is a house-sized skull covered in moss and grime. This planked path you're walking on feeds directly into the side of the skull and seems...

seems to proceed to the north. Past the skull? Yeah, like the path leads you into the skull and beyond it. Oh, into the skull. So now we are in the skull housing and heading north. I wouldn't put you there. I would say you're at that precipice if you want to walk in and continue. That's up to you. You know I want to go inside of the skull. I mean... Well, point of order. We have a leader. Doug? It's still me, isn't it? You know, you can't

You can't just come across a giant skull and not go inside. That's what I'm saying, yeah. But maybe one of you, if you have the ability to like check for traps or something like that. We all do. Could I check for traps? Yes, you can. Yeah, you can. Absolutely, you can. The look on Barbara's face as she realized she can do that.

For some reason, I thought it had to be like a special ability. Some classes are more attuned to it and have better checks for it, but anyone can look. I will check for traps. Where are you looking? Like, what are you looking for exactly? Like, what in your mind, what are these traps you're looking for? I would say like I would kind of peek in, like I wouldn't step in, but I would look for anything on the ground that maybe looks uneven. Like it could be like a stepping plate or anything like in the walls of the skull that maybe have like something sticking out.

Yeah. I'm going to look for the sword of power to raise above my head and say, by the power of Grayskull, I have the power. Nice. Are we walking into the mouth? What hole are we looking at? It would be like the cheeks.

Okay. I rolled a 15 on my investigation. Yeah, you do a pretty exhaustive search looking around, and you don't see anything that appears to be a trap. Nothing, no pressure plates, no trip wires, nothing of that sort. Okay. Doug does that thing where he stays quiet, but he, like, motions forward with his two fingers. Cool. Into the skull. As you're looking around, you know, looking for these traps,

traps, you can tell that the skull is actually made of rock and not bone. Wow. It's the same kind of jagged rock as like the sea stacks that are in the watery area out in front of it. Do they look carved? Yeah, potentially, yeah. Or like a natural formation, yeah. Natural forming skulls. Ha ha ha.

I will say, now that you're up close, you, and it's a good thing you're making this check, Doug. You're especially in tune with this. You recognize what the gemstone's doing. What's it doing? It's kind of like the eye caster you saw in the seesaw at Fort Endridge. Seesaw is the training place. Yes. If you remember at the very beginning, you went through like a simulated training. So what's it's?

I think he was just explaining that. Yeah, so it's like at the seesaw in your training, you created almost like a holodeck in Star Trek. It creates a holographic experience that you then use to train. John slash Natty is asking, well, what's this doing? Once Doug points this out, Natty, your eyes follow it and follow these rays of lights that are casting out from it into the waters of the cove in front of you. And you see that...

Out in the water, the light beams are casting visual and audible illusions of a safe patch of sea in the midst of a storm. But in fact, you know that there are rocks and ships wrecked here. Oh. That's evil. It's a trap. That must be where the Ark of the Covenant is. Yeah. No. It's a trap for ships to crash. Oh.

Okay, that makes sense. Because they thought it was safe and then they go that way and then not so safe. Is there an opening in this cave that would allow for a ship to come in and crash? Well, there's that cove of water between the two docks that we talked about.

Yeah. But no entrance big enough for a ship beyond the skull, if that's your question. Weird. Then how'd those ships get there? Oh, I'm sorry. On the other side? Yes. That leads out to the sea. So that would explain what the ship saw was a safe passage and then they hit it. And yeah, it's a fly trap. It's a Venus fly trap.

How big is this room? I think I misjudged. It must be like a multiple football fields of earth or something. He said a cavernous cone. Yeah, it's cavernous. It's huge. The ceilings are 70 foot high. The width across from the western and the eastern docks is probably over 100 feet. It's pretty big. Cool. How big is the eye physically? The jewel that's doing this illusion?

It's really big. If you had to guess, it would probably weigh a couple hundred pounds. Yeah, skull's the size of a house. Imagine the eye scale. It's pretty big. 12.

Yeah. You ever heard of like Ironclad either doing something like this or talking about a legend of something like this or anything? Like, is there like a cursed cove or something? Or is this what he does? Well, looking at my notes that I took in real life in the game in our universe, real world. You can make a history check if you want. You talk weird. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, okay. Oh my god, where's history? It's alphabetical. It's alphabetical order, I know, I should know this. Ten. I give him an inspiration dice. I don't need, no, you don't need to do that. I do it. Give him an inspiration dice. It's his choice. Okay. History check with advantage. That was a good use because I just got a tooth. God.

You know, you win some, you lose some. Um... Oh, this is good, I... Oh, yes, I remember this place, yes. It's called the Cove of Lost Holds.

Like a ship hole. H-U-L-L. Not the other kind of hole that your brain went to because it's in Jakarta, you know. Wait, I can't tell if this is Blaine BSing or this is Tov actually telling the truth. This is Tov receiving a message from the beyond. Okay, okay, okay. This is Tov recalling his memories. This is Tov recalling. This is Tov recalling. And I know from our experience at the Seesaw that that thing is called, it's Thaumatech.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this is something you've heard of. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. I don't know if it's ironclads doing or not, but, you know, you would not believe this. It would be something of ironclads. I don't think ironclad is smart enough. He probably is. I'm just trying to insult him because he sucks so bad.

Should we cover up the eye so that people do not die? Yeah, that or like totally steal this giant gem and try to resell it. That would be an option. It is too big. How big is it? Giant.

God, how big? We just went over it. Yeah, several hundred pounds. Okay, what if we shadowed it? In my head, I was stuck. You talked about reselling it, and I realized Andrich Bay is eBay, and I was making myself laugh in my head while you were talking. That's so good. Very good. Okay, how about then in that case, Tolv takes a whack with the Warhammer? It's still Tolv's turn, so I think that this would be something he'd want to do. We're not an initiative. I know, but you know, I'm just...

They said, give us more story told. Don't just listen to the Gus. Tell stories with Gus. Yeah, tell stories. How are you going to try to approach this? Are you going to climb like the outside of the skull? Or are you going to try to go inside and then climb and go up there from the inside? Like, what's your approach here? I'll climb from the outside of the skull. Okay.

I have had experience climbing, being on ships with the sails and things. Yeah, same thing. That is totally something someone would say who knew things about ships. Yeah.

You sound like me talking about sports or cars. I have played with balls and things. They've moved the ball successfully. Yeah, you put your hands on the outside of the skull, begin finding a foothold, and as you do that, you start to hear grumbling voices approaching. Oh. And along with it, you hear, like, sparks and zaps. Oh, no.

It seems to be coming from the north, from inside the skull, and it seems to be getting louder. Captain Grumbles, did you learn how to throw your voice? That's really, that's impressive. Very impressive. Wow, he's got the shield. Oh. I vavert everybody to get their attention stealthily, and then I say, talking, I move my hand up and down, talking inside, and I point inside the skull.

Can we sneak in? Now he starts doing the chicken dance. With his hands, making the little... And the toad shakes his hand vigorously. As you all are signaling to each other, the voices suddenly stop for a moment. Finally, a voice breaks the silence and says, Think I heard something. It was over there. Footsteps slowly march towards the party's position, getting closer and closer with every second. ♪

What will the party do? What's the source of the voices? Well, we're going to have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Sneaky Dragon.

Thanks for listening, everyone. All my favorites, yes. Karaoke. Hey, everyone. Did you know you can help unleash the Infinites? These four new radical shirt designs have just crash-landed in the Sneaky Dragon store. Bart, Gum-Gum, Kyborg, and Mud are bursting onto the scene with their own vibrant teeth straight from their animated adventures. Choose your favorite or snag all four and become a legendary collector.

Top off your look with the brand new embroidered Infinites Dad Style Ball Cap. It's the ultimate power move. Don't miss out on this epic drop. Visit store.stinkydragonpod.com today and bring home the magic of the Infinites. New releases of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.

Just like...

Zarlez, Hakone_Logi_Arneson, who is also Hakone_Logi_420, there's a lot of accent marks on that one, Sungi, VMC Viking, who is also Kirimaru_Viking, and Mari Schmidt. These patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our Patreon-only Discord server, bonus content like second win, behind the screen, and much more.

In fact, here's a quick peek at a Tavern Tale one-shot available now, journeyed to the center of Gum-Gum's mind. When Gum-Gum consumes a cursed Soul Stone, Bart, Kyborg, and Mud must journey deep into the illogical labyrinth of his mind to extract it before their friend becomes a vessel for pure evil. You now stand in a vast chamber, its architecture eerily reminiscent of an American gladiator set. The air hums as if the arena itself is alive.

Whoa, stop there, my dudes. There's a blur of yellow as a figure jumps from an elevated platform and does 30 backflips before sticking a perfect landing in front of the party, bow drawn, pointed at your heads. I see what's happening here. It's technically an elf, slightly shorter than Kyborg. He has flowing long blonde hair and a huge upper body that's rippling with muscles, but his legs are tiny, completely disproportionate. Kind of like Johnny Bravo, if you remember that show. Yeah.

Man, I'm pretty. So is this GumGum's version of you, Kyborg? I want to do the predator handshake and say, what up, dude? He high-fives you so quickly that he takes his hand off the arrow, high-fives you, and then grabs the arrow and pulls it back without it firing. That was impressive. Thank you. But also, I'm defying the laws of gravity and stuff. Thank you. Hello? Hello?

What's your name? Oh, hi, I'm kyborg. You're kyborg. What's your name? I am another version of kyborg. Oh sick.

Okay, great. You're open to this. Great. I thought you were going to try to attack me, but no, we're like brothers. Yeah. Do you want me to attack you? No. Okay. Look, you guys seem super cool, especially you, Kyborg. Thanks, Kyborg. But I can't let you pass unless I know you're, like, cool enough. What cool stunts do you want us to do, Kyborg? If I told you, then it wouldn't be cool. Okay. I've heard so many stories like this. You have to challenge him to a competition. Oh.

He can't resist that kind of thing. I can't or he can't? Yes. Okay, got it. Visit StinkyDragonPod.com to show your support and make this show possible. A number of incredible voice actors lent their voice to the show, including private, private parts voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Saunier. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Hello, like Doug Boone here on the ones and twos. I know I've got a couple listeners listening in. Doug's on the ones and twos, equals threes. You know, it's an interesting day today. You know, a lot of stuff's happening. We've got some boiling water. We've got some hair that we found belonging to Pancak. You know, it's just, we're on the case is how I'd like to say it.

But, you know, we're not making as much progress as Doug would want. But we're making moves. We had Natty turn into a ring somehow. I didn't know she could do that. It was pretty wild. We got Chris here doing a little dance on his camera. He's looking at me. He knows I'm doing this. Hey, welcome Gunther to the show. How are you today? I'm very good.

Very good. What's easier to show? This is Doug on the once and twos equals threes. How's your afternoon going? Oh, it is good. I like afternoons because they have the sun and it reminds me of home.

but then I also like night. I like all the time. Well, we love that positivity here on the Doug's on the ones and twos equals three. So thank you so much for that addition. Oh, hello. Gus is back as well. He's been listening this whole time. You know it. I'm always here. It makes me feel like there's always someone watching. Listen, no matter what, I'm your biggest fan, Doug. You've always got at least one listener out there, no matter what. Well,

Wow, can we get a pew pew? Pew pew. Pew pew. Pew pew pew pew. Doug's got to work on his soundboard. Coming soon to a new episode.