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cover of episode The Resilience Myth with Soraya Chemaly

The Resilience Myth with Soraya Chemaly

2024/6/18
logo of podcast Terrible, Thanks For Asking

Terrible, Thanks For Asking
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Nora McInerney
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Soraya Chemaly
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Nora McInerney：长期以来，我一直讨厌‘韧性’这个词，因为它常常被用来描述那些经历丧失和痛苦的人，而这听起来像是对他们经历的轻描淡写，是对他们需求的忽视。真正的韧性并非源于个人的内在品质，而是源于社会支持网络和特权。在失去丈夫、父亲和孩子后，我能够度过难关，是因为我拥有经济上的支持、家人和朋友的帮助，以及社会安全网。将韧性视为个人属性是不负责任的，它忽视了社会结构和资源在个体应对逆境中的作用。 Soraya Chemaly：韧性神话的核心在于，我们应该从自身寻找韧性，认为它是一种个性特征、能力或技能。但实际上，韧性的本质在于相互依赖、相互关怀和集体力量。我们对独立和自给自足的过度强调，导致了一种有毒的个人主义理想，忽视了社会支持和集体行动的重要性。这种观念源于对个人责任和自我成长的迷恋，以及对积极性和乐观的盲目追求。我们需要重新定义韧性，认识到其局限性，并重视停止和休养生息的重要性。 Soraya Chemaly：对韧性的研究源于对社会缺乏关怀的反思，以及疫情期间对“韧性”概念的误用。911事件后，“韧性”被过度强调，导致对危机的应对方式出现偏差。人们试图通过保持正常生活来应对创伤，这是一种不适应的韧性模式。在疫情期间，这种模式再次出现，人们被鼓励保持正常生活，忽视了社会支持和集体行动的重要性。韧性与积极心理学和乐观主义密切相关，但过度乐观可能会导致人们忽视风险，无法有效应对挑战。我们需要在乐观和悲观之间取得平衡，具备认知灵活性，才能更好地应对逆境。

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Nora discusses her dislike for the word 'resilient' and how it felt like a misrepresentation of her experience after suffering significant losses.

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Years ago, when Nora was in the worst phase of her life (dead husband, dead dad, lost pregnancy) she heard a lot of people describe her as resilient. Those people meant it as a compliment, but to Nora it didn’t feel that way. She was tired, grieving, and lost so much in her life- the “resilience” people saw was often just…the privilege she had to survive it. 

So when Nora got the new book, The Resilience Myth) by Soraya Chemaly), she devoured it. In this episode, Nora and Soraya talk about different ways to think about resiliency and how celebrating it can be a little toxic. 

*We are still on hiatus! But this episode in the main feed was brought to you by our TTFA Premium subscribers. Since the hiatus, we’ve been producing two episodes a month for people who support us on Patreon) and Apple Premium (join in your Apple podcast app). If you want more TTFA, consider joining us on one of those platforms. *

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