Stop Saying Um (And Fix the Other Vocal Tics That Are Sabotaging Your Speaking)
The Art of Manliness
Deep Dive
Why is it important to treat speaking as a physical act rather than just a mental one?
Speaking is a physical act that involves over 100 muscles, including the diaphragm, lungs, ribs, vocal cords, and facial muscles. Treating it as a physical activity allows for the development of muscle memory, enabling quick improvement and breaking of bad habits. This approach shifts focus from mental suppression to physical practice, making it easier to improve delivery and content simultaneously.
What is the 'binoculars drill' and how does it help improve communication?
The 'binoculars drill' involves holding your hands up as if looking through binoculars, with the left hand forming a 'C' for content (words and vocabulary) and the right hand forming the outer half of a 'D' for delivery (everything besides the words). This visual reinforces the idea that content and delivery are interconnected. Improving delivery can enhance content by giving the brain time and oxygen to think more clearly, creating a virtuous cycle of better communication.
Why is thought suppression ineffective for improving speaking delivery?
Thought suppression, such as telling yourself 'don't rush' or 'don't say um,' forces the brain to fixate on the very behavior you're trying to avoid. This creates a counterproductive cycle where the unwanted behavior becomes more prominent. Instead, focusing on physical exercises and embodied practices helps break habits more effectively by shifting attention away from mental suppression to physical action.
What is the Lego exercise and how does it improve speaking?
The Lego exercise involves using Lego blocks to structure speech. For each idea or sentence, you pick up a Lego block, speak the idea, and then place the block down in silence before picking up the next one. This practice teaches pausing, concise thinking, and structured communication. It uses embodied cognition to help speakers tolerate silence, avoid filler words, and organize their thoughts more effectively.
How does the 'finger walking' drill help reduce filler words?
The 'finger walking' drill involves using your second and third fingers to 'walk' across a table as you speak. Each step represents a thought or sentence. If you use a filler word, you pause the fingers until you regain focus. This physical activity helps speakers become more precise with their language by linking speech to a tangible, physical action, reducing reliance on filler words like 'um' or 'like.'
Why is enunciation important for slowing down speech?
Enunciation requires precise movements of the lips, tongue, and jaw, which naturally takes time. By focusing on clear enunciation, speakers are forced to slow down to articulate each syllable properly. This not only improves clarity but also helps manage speaking pace, especially for those who tend to speak too quickly.
What is the wine cork exercise and how does it improve enunciation?
The wine cork exercise involves placing a wine cork (or similar object) between your teeth while speaking. This creates an impediment that forces you to articulate more clearly to navigate around the obstruction. The exercise strengthens enunciation muscles and slows speech, as it requires more effort to produce clear sounds. It’s a physical drill that enhances vocal precision and control.
How does silent storytelling improve vocal variety?
Silent storytelling involves mouthing words without sound, exaggerating facial expressions and gestures to convey meaning. This exercise heightens physical expressiveness, which, when combined with sound, naturally increases vocal variety. By focusing on the physical aspects of communication, speakers unlock more dynamic and engaging vocal delivery.
What is the best approach to eye contact during public speaking?
Eye contact should be an active process of evaluating whether your message is resonating with the audience. Instead of following rigid rules like '8-12 seconds,' focus on individual people and try to elicit nonverbal cues. This approach creates a virtuous cycle where better engagement leads to improved delivery, including gestures, vocal variety, and breathing.
How can gestures improve public speaking?
Gestures should be liberated to tell the story alongside your words. Over-constraining gestures leads to monotony and reduced expressiveness. Exercises like silent storytelling or throwing a ball against a wall while speaking help unlock gestural freedom. This physical engagement enhances overall communication by making the speaker more dynamic and engaging.
What is the best way to manage nerves during public speaking?
Instead of fighting nerves, navigate them by focusing on something physical and measurable, such as grounding your feet, enunciating clearly, or engaging with eye contact. This shifts attention away from anxiety and toward productive actions, allowing nerves to fade naturally. Accepting nerves as a sign of caring and investment can also reduce their negative impact.
- Delivery significantly impacts the impression you make on others.
- Focusing on delivery improves content by creating a virtuous cycle.
- Common advice on delivery is often unhelpful and counterproductive.
Shownotes Transcript
Think about a time you've had to speak in front of others — maybe during a work presentation, a wedding toast, or even on a first date. Did you struggle with using too many filler words, such as "um" and "like," talk too fast, or awkwardly ramble?
Most of us try to fix these saboteurs of speech by giving ourselves mental mantras: "Slow down"; "Think about what you want to say."
But my guest would say that becoming a more engaging and effective speaker comes down to realizing that it's a very physical act that requires getting out of your head and into your body.
Michael Chad Hoeppner, a communication coach who has worked with everyone from presidential candidates to business executives, is the author of Don't Say Um: How to Communicate Effectively to Live a Better Life.) Today on the show, Michael explains why you need to treat speaking as a sport and shares embodied drills and exercises — from playing with Legos to talking with a wine cork in your mouth to throwing a ball against a wall — that will fix common delivery problems, including eliminating ums, enhancing vocal variety, and managing your gestures.
Resources Related to the Podcast
- AoM Article: Becoming Well-Spoken — How to Minimize Your Uhs and Ums)
- AoM Podcast #698: The Secrets of Public Speaking From History’s Greatest Orators)
- AoM Podcast #732: Tips From a Top TED Talker on How to Be Heard)
Connect With Michael Chad Hoeppner
