Eating Cheetos on the Floor of the Met Gala with Kelly Mantle and Katya
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Welcome back to The Ball of the Beautiful with me, Katya, and Trixie Mattel. Unfortunately, Trixie has died. So we have a special, a very special guest today. The incomparable, the legendary actress, entertainer, drag queen extraordinaire,

Kelly Mantle. Well, I tried my best to look just like her corpse. Just in case, you know? You've got about 40 pounds to put on, honey. Oh! You're a legend, and you are currently featured as the riveting, scene-stealing co-star in Trixie and Katya Live. Thank you so much for joining us. My favorite gig ever. It is genuinely a delight to have you. Oh, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. If you had to recast Sandy...

Like if you had to have an understudy that you could pick anybody in the world from Porkchop to Jodie Foster, but if you had to choose Sandy's understudy, who would it be? Joan Rivers. Perfect. Joan Rivers. I would bring her back from the dead and I would not let her be the understudy. I would just give it to her. Yeah.

Because you all would probably prefer that actually. Joan over Kelly Mantle, sure. Yeah. I mean, I kind of based the character a little bit on, I mean, because I fucking, oh, Joan Rivers. She's so funny. Jesus Christ. She has a bit where she's like, all of her late night bits with David Letterman are so funny. And she said in one show, like she shows him how to like talk regularly and then how to talk sexy. And it's all in the tongue. And she's like, ah.

She said Michelle Pfeiffer taught her that in the 90s. It's so funny. And you know that's a lie. Of course. Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle Pfeiffer sitting at home going, I didn't teach you to do that.

we started this podcast beauty focused and then now we just talk about air conditioning. We all started this beauty focused? Yeah, well, the bald and the beautiful is supposed to be about like makeup and beauty and like. Oh, that's so cool. I didn't know that. I think it lasted maybe half of an episode and then we just complain about air conditioning and retell the same stories about sex and whatever. But I found my window in drag, my window of freshness is shrinking. Yeah.

So is mine. Six hours. Yeah, six hours. To me, I was like, ooh, I think I have about three hours of like a fresh window in drag for music, especially like music videos. You said you had like a wind machine in your face the whole time. I'm doing this for a friend. But yeah, you know, I don't do the whole fierce thing well. That's why I've kind of turned to just playing like these really like, you know, these, you

cis women that are just kind of like on the outskirts of like insanity at this point. I like that too. That's how I see myself in drag. I don't see myself as like a fierce drag diva. It's too much work. Too much responsibility. I can't do all that. It's way too much responsibility. I can't cinch and do, yeah, it's too much. Yeah, I was, I was trying to, I am currently trying to figure out a way to like widen my hip pad so that I can, that I don't have to cinch so much because even at like, I'm not,

No. At all. You have an awesome body. Are you kidding? I'm very, I'm quite thin. But when I put the drag on, it all, like I'll turn to the side and I just see with the hot dog legs. And it's like, you get, no, no, no, no, no. You just get pummeled by the unreasonable expectations of womanhood.

That's why I just prefer to be like regular woman number three. Regular woman number three. But you are hardly regular woman number three. Your body is like architecture. It's so chiseled. Like the Giza pyramids. No, it really... The Great Wall of China. Yeah.

It fits Katya. Because it's just so, you know, like I want to see you in like one of those like, those, what are those muscle? Men's fitness? But not the women's. Where you're all like orange tans and like gloss. Oh, fitness competition. Yes. Do you know they wear the, I want to see that. Oh, those get fierce. They wear the, the,

The clear blue side heels often in those fitness competitions. The pleasers. Yeah, they do actually wear like the ones that Trixie wears. Actually a little bit higher heel than she wears. I would love to be a female bodybuilder. Oh my God. That would be fucking amazing. Like to get breast implants, but then have pecs underneath them built up so much that they just look like. I don't even think they have breasts anymore. Do they? Most of these women just have pecs. A lot of them do get implants. I think.

But there's a whole range. Oh, yeah. It's very blurry. Very blurry. Very blurry. Do you ever have you ever played sports? Seeing that you are the niece of. This is a great segue, right? Which sports do you play? Have you ever played sports? Have you ever seen a gladiator movie? I'll tell you, I've played a gladiator.

wide end, the corner receiver, just pinching the ball. No, I never played sports. Well, I did, actually. It was horrible because my daddy was the high school football coach on top of my uncle being Mickey Mantle. But don't gloss over that. I thought that was like a not true...

I thought it was like way too crazy to be true. For the longest time that I was like, oh, Mickey, it's like, oh, she's Mickey Mantle's daughter or niece or whatever. It's like, you are. I really am. You actually are. He was my daddy's big brother. Yeah. If you've ever, if you're over 30 and you know what a baseball card is, Mickey Mantle is like, I know who Mickey Mantle is. Google Mickey Mantle. He's actually really hot. I don't know if it's okay for me to say that or not, but he's actually like super hot. You can't say that. Um,

But no, yeah, he was my dad's big brother that grew up in Oklahoma. And he played for the New York Yankees. You know, the crazy thing is he's like this American icon. He's like mentioned up there with like Uncle Sam and Apple Pie and Jesus Christ. In New York City. Yeah. Mickey Mantle. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, just like him, I was a switch hitter too. Of course. First string. Yeah.

Huge batting average. Huge batting average. Timeless home runs. Well, you know. And it's a shortstop. Do you know anything? I have no idea. Do you know anything? No. And that was the thing is growing up in Oklahoma, my brother, my older brother was this big all-star athlete. And so everyone would always believe him when he'd say I'm, you know, related to Mickey Mantle. But whenever I would say it, they'd be like, what was his batting average in 1961?

And I'm like, I don't fucking know. But you know he smelled like shit because he's your uncle. I hope he did. Like personal details. What was he like? He was amazing. He was a drinker, a big drinker. Yeah, real big drinker. Real big drinker and womanizer.

I really liked him though. I really did. He, you know, I loved going places with him because it was always just mayhem, you know, it was just like people just like, you know, it's kind of like you and you and Trixie. Yeah. It was just people just swarming the malls. They won our, they're trading our cards. I mean, we are like little, actually drag racers kind of are like, um, uh, base,

kind of like athletes in a way, like famous athletes, because famous to people who know, but not at all to people who don't. - To who don't, exactly. - But very famous to people who know. - Yeah. - And then like you have your MVPs and all that Hall of Famers and stuff. - I always love imagining in my mind, like, you know, the like NASCAR guys that's like Googling drag race, you know, 'cause drag race is a sport. And then like seeing like Katya and Trixie and Bianca Del Rio pop up. - I know they're like, this is the future that liberals wanted. Yeah, yeah.

I actually, before Drag Race started, I was in college and I thought it would be really, I was going to do like a,

I was like so like artsy. I was, um, I wanted to do like a whole day long durational performance piece where people were in drag on the, um, on the, like a field and they were getting dragged. Oh yeah. By like other people just like really slowly can call it drag race. Wait, would one of the drag Queens be dragging the other one? Yeah. Like, but slowly, like how come I just had a flash of like ginger men's just pulling someone sweating like a, like a tractor. Yeah. And then just like, um,

Just unconscious drag queens in full like pageant drag, just getting dragged along the field. And they just had handheld fans. Yeah. I thought it'd be great. It would be just as exciting as how Drag Race is now. Do you still watch the show? Sometimes. Do you? Not really. No.

Listen, you know, well, I can't keep up. That's the thing. I'm trying to keep up. There's so many. There's so many. Yeah. I mean, and this last season was like, I mean, what, 28 episodes long or something like that. I mean, when they said, yeah, we're going to give them $150,000. I said, yeah, I'll throw in the extra 50 for them. They finally upped the. They finally upped it. But I mean, you know, they were on TV longer than our first leg of our tour was. No shit. It is crazy. Now I'm thinking like,

I remember being on the show from like, you do a episode in usually two days. And like, it is, I made it almost to the end. And, but like, except for maybe an episode or two. And that felt like forever. I can't imagine these girls being on there for that long. That's inexpensive. Oh, honey, I can't imagine being on more than one episode. That, there you go.

Some people are in it. So why don't I'm in it for a minute? Thank you. But that's the best. That's better than two or three. Well, it really is. I think so. It really is because, you know, people always remember the winner and the person who went home first. So, I mean, at least you're memorable. Beginning and end. And then you have the added benefit of mystique. Yeah. Like what could have happened? You know what I mean? I am from Chicago. Okay. I have to ask you, would you ever go back?

You mean to like an All Stars or like an early out All Stars? Any other iteration of the show. Like they do all types of competitions. Only if they promise to send me home first again. Oh, that's fierce. Girl, I want to go home first on a first out season. Double first. That's like, you can't get more number one than that. You cannot get, I will over Rain Port Chop at that point.

Go home first on a first out season. And that's my... Your whole there's a mama. I did it first. I did it first. I did it first.

I went home first on a first out season pitch. That is literally number one. It's not like you don't want to be the last hag standing. Girl, that is too much responsibility for me. I cannot. I don't even have that many outfits. No, no. That's the stress of that. I don't have. I just don't even know what I do. The stress of I think about like going back and I get caught. Would you go back? No. Because I...

No, no, no. Not to compete because it's just like I get stuck around the time and preparation of what you have to bring. Well, is it weird to say because I am not a competitive person at all. And, you know, that's such a weird thing to say for someone who went on. Not really. I forgot it was that.

Does that make any sense? Yes, it makes 100%. When I got there, I completely forgot I was supposed to be competing. Like I got so in my head that I was like, oh, wait a minute. Yeah. This is a competition. And when we're standing on the runway and you're being, you know, like you get to stay and sashay away. I was like, oh, I forgot about this.

No, I completely relate. I did the whole time too because I wasn't competitive at like my drag gigs or, you know, in the dressing room or I was never involved in like fights or like it was never adversarial in any way. No. It was just like all just a bunch of whores trying to make money. Exactly. And to party and to like drink and have a good time and like, yeah, like all of it. And pick up hot boys afterwards. And blow them in the dressing room. Fuck yeah. Or in the alley. Yeah.

You know, have you ever, actually, I think that's what's maybe missing from Drag Race. It's not, I don't want to see a drag queen. I'm blowing them in the alley. The blonde boys in the alley? Yeah, the spirit of that. I will go back on if that's a challenge because I will win that challenge. I knew, so there was a show in Boston. This was long before I was on Drag Race. We went afterwards to a bar and there was this trans woman who was,

I mean, she was an Ivy League educated. I think she was a professor. But she ran a little late. She came in and joined us because she was blowing a man in an alley. And I was like that. And she's not no gutter slut or whatever, which is fine too. But she was like, it was, and she wasn't even a showgirl, but she was like a part of this like cast of just fiends.

very colorful characters and who all had like drag at the center of their, like, you know, their group. And it was just like, that's that kind of edge is I feel like is what is missing from drag races. It's very like, you know, it's very like wholesome. It's become very, I mean, there's fisting jokes, but still, but which is good, but like, you know, it's like, it's all about healing and,

Drag is a healing tool. Yeah. Heal the world through drag. Yeah. Which is strange because for me, drag hurts. Well, it's painful, you know? I mean, yeah. I mean, listen, I mean, you know, yeah, it's, it's kind of become this, uh,

I don't know, this segue into discussing mental health and stuff, you know, and I embrace my mental health, you know, and that's one of the reasons why I probably became a drag queen. My mental health issues, you know, so it's like, I'm totally, yeah, I mean, I'm a full on gutter slut. So I, it's, I'm not very mainstream. I've always enjoyed being on the outskirts of the mainstream. And so that's why going home first for me was such a,

I don't know. It was hilarious. It was so perfect.

I cannot wait to see this amazing new show with the preternaturally hysterical Brian Jordan Alvarez. It's from the producer of one of the greatest TV shows of all time. And can I let you in on a little secret? A certain Miss Trixie Mattel makes a guest appearance on the show and whoa, it is a sight to behold. Take it from me, a connoisseur of quality television programming. You do not want to miss this show. FX's English Teacher premieres September 2nd on FX. Stream on Hulu.

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Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com. You were actually one of the few queens who actually has like talent, you know? You know what I mean? Like, I mean, a lot of times drag is just drag is itself a talent. Like, you know, the makeup, the hair, all this stuff. But you were like an actor. You're a singer. Yeah.

Well, I think that's it, you know, because I had confidence going into it that, you know, I would slay the acting challenges and music challenges and stand-up comedy and roasting and snatch game and all that stuff. But what I can't do is I'm not a good fashion queen and I'm not a good runway model and I can't sew.

And so, you know, you put those elements together and I kind of, you know, it's one of those things where it's like when they say, you know, hey, can you know when you go to an audition, can you, you know, do a Russian accent? I'm like, yes. And then you go home and you're like, Google, how the fuck do the Russian accent? You just figure it out real quick. Right. So it's kind of the same thing. I was like, sure, I can. So I can do all this. No problem. Yeah.

Well, obviously it was a huge problem, but that's not reflective of all of the other talents that a person possesses if you can't, you know? So yeah, it was, but that's what I mean though, is to me it was, um, I live for that kind of, uh, uh, surreal, I don't know, out of skirts, out of the mainstream experience like that, you know, I kind of live for that. I do too. I talking about a surreal out of, um, uh, experience, um,

I've recently, I guess I've seen it before, but we watched it again three times. A clip of you, what the fuck is it? What is it from? It's the court when you storm into a courtroom and

and then murder... Oh, Eagle Heart. Eagle Heart. Yes. What the fuck? What is that? Oh my God. So it's on... It's from an acting reel. I think you can see it on my Instagram. Yes, and we can see it on your website too. So you go to kellymantle.com, I think you can see it, right? Yeah. Yeah. It is...

so incredible when you say when he what are you and you say the last thing you'll see before you get completely assassinated completely assassinated not just like partially assassinated but completely assassinated completely completely totally irrevocably

assassinated assassinated yeah for even questioning my gender i it is it is it is

It is... I don't even know what... It's like, David, it's very Lynchian. Oh, my God. It's very Lynchian. One of my favorite filmmakers ever. Wild at Heart's, like, my favorite movie in the whole world. That character, that whole scene is straight out of a David Lynch movie. What was that? What is it? It's a TV show. It's from Swim, the adult cartoon network. Remember Swim? And they had, like, General Hospital. They had all these amazing shows. And Eagle Heart was one of the shows that wasn't an animated show. And...

I was actually, I had never heard of it before I went to audition for it. But then when I went to audition for it, I saw some episodes of it and I fell in love with it immediately. Is it a comedy? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Completely absurd. Like talk about absurdist surreal theater. Yeah. Like completely absurd. And my character was this gender non-binary. And this was even kind of before the whole non-binary term thing.

came into existence. How long ago was it? It was like a couple of years probably before all of that happened, you know? But I've always lived in that for me, you know, even like way pre-drag race, you know, I've always kind of existed under the trans umbrella and one of my, you know, I always used to call myself a gender bender. And so for me to get this role, I was like, oh, this is so cool because...

you know, I've always felt kind of middle of the line, you know, kind of in that gray area. And so, you know, go sit in the men's section, the women's section. I mean, that had been the story my whole life, you know? And so I've always wanted to kind of blow someone up, you know?

- You pull out an Uzi. - Yes. And then the best part, which you don't see in that clip, later in the episode, I get blown up. Yes, 'cause I try to like storm the security and everything, trying to leave the courthouse, and then I get blown up. And so that was like one of my favorite acting gigs ever because they put all these wires on you and you literally have one shot at it. Like it's one take because you know, the blood has to come out and your costume is ruined at that point. So you literally have like one shot. - Oh right, there's no resetting.

And so I was like, this is so cool. I felt like, like, you know, Tamilia Cruz or something, you know, just like running through the thing. It is the face. You just, it's the ultra deadpan and the delivery is so perfect. Like, um, they, you know, they're like, you go to the men's, there's the men's queue or the women's queue. And it, I feel that my constitutional right. And then when he lets you go through the, without patting you down, you just,

The death stare. It's so insane. And isn't that like, I mean, and all of us that kind of identify as they, them can certainly relate to that at any TSA moment. I just went through the TSA just this weekend in Indianapolis and had to go through a whole like, what,

are your pronouns and who do you prefer? You know, and it was really, yeah. And how did that play out? Are they, are they sensitive or diplomatic? They really were. They were really great about it in Indianapolis. I have to say, I was kind of pleasantly surprised more so than other places like LAX or, you know, New York where you would expect them to be and they're not. No, they just hurl, they just throw rocks at you no matter what your gender is. I'm assuming, or I would assume that the TSA has pretty like extensive protocols these days on how to, uh,

sensitively. Yeah. I mean, it's just all, it just seems like a bureaucratic nightmare, that whole thing. It is. That was a fun gig. That was so fucking fun. I, that is like a dream gig. Oh my God. How long was it? One day? No, it was like a whole week. It was like a whole week. Oh. And then the greatest thing was then they went off. Um, I don't know if it was that season or I think it was like the season after that.

Well, it's not the greatest thing, but they ended, their show ended. They had all their guest stars from every single episode come back to shoot a finale. So we were all sitting in the audience. Oh yeah, it was fucking amazing. I was like, this show is so cool.

I have to go I'm gonna go look I'm gonna go watch this fucking show go binge watch Eagle Heart that is I think it's available on like you know whatever yeah all the only fans that these cable companies have like whatever it's so cool what was what has been your like um your favorite and your least favorite acting gigs my favorite and my least favorite yeah

- Oh gosh, you mean like TV and film or theater? - TV and film. - TV and film. Well, I have to say Sheila. - Sheila is- - I mean, Sheila is my favorite. So, I mean, EcoHeart definitely, but Sheila's like, yeah. - Sheila from the Browns is like, that's why we wanted you so badly to do our show, our live show, because it's just so funny. - I love that. Thank you. Yeah, I love Sheila. And I love, I mean, obviously working with Tammy, you know, and Sean Mark are fucking incredible,

But, and Paige and everyone involved with him. But yeah, I love Sheila. She was like my hero because she can say anything and totally get away with it. It doesn't even fucking matter. So, but there's a fucking line. There's like, um,

she leaves her and sometimes her Invisalign gets stuck in my vagina. There's like all these like little things, like there's all these little fun. I mean, she's hysterical. That's the great thing is I, the reason I love doing the Browns is we kind of do it like a Christopher Guest movie. Everything is, or, or Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was another great gig. I got to work with Larry David. Are you fucking serious? Yes. Oh my God. It was incredible. Oh my gosh. It was, uh, I don't even remember what season it was, but yeah, I was, um,

uh standing in line uh with for the bathroom with larry david and literally i mean the even the audition when i got to the audition there's no sides they give you a piece of paper and it says you're standing in line waiting for the bathroom with larry david and then they call you into the audition larry is there i was like okay i was not expecting this and then you have to improvise

And then everything you did at the audition, leave that alone because you're going to improvise again the day on the set. Oh, it was incredible. I was like, this is what I'm saying. Do you love improvising? Oh my God, my favorite. Okay. It's my favorite thing to do. I mean, I love improvising and I love, I'm a writer. I'm a writer at heart. I'm a huge writer. Acting and writing,

two very different skills. Very different. Very different skills. But I love taking a script. I love taking ideas and I love working with people that are open to someone coming in and kind of just, you know, and like, yeah, that's what we do with the Browns is that John Mark will come up with like a skeleton of the scene and say, okay, well, this is going to happen. And then we get to improvise. Interpret it, yeah. And sometimes, you know, I'll come up with ideas like, oh, this would be a great line here or there, you know, and that's where like the Invisalign came in, you know, is, yeah.

Sheila talking about her lesbian love and mercy, you know, when Tammy first finds out about her, she's like, well, I see her with a woman. And I said, she's very nice, even though her Invisalign gets stuck in my vagina from time to time, you know? You know, and those little things will come to you when your spirit moves it. And you're like, well, I need to add that to the script. So, Larry David, so, wait, you don't remember what, we'll look it up later. Because I recently watched all of Curb. And, um,

I'm experiencing some pretty significant memory loss as of late though, which is concerning. I don't know. I mean, I just, I forget things all the time. So it's not surprising that I can't remember, but he was nice. Oh my God. Amazing. Really? Amazing. So warm. So welcoming. Everyone on that set was, you know. I'm obsessed with Susie Essman, who plays Susie Green. Oh yeah. She all just hurled F-bombs at everybody. F-bombs. I know. I'm obsessed.

She's so fucking funny. Is it still on? Yes. It's, well, it just. I read somewhere where it was either, yeah, it was still on or something. They just, I think they just did their 11th season. And recently I've, I've watched every episode. Like it's, it's so good. Yeah. It's so good. It's, oh my God. Now that is like my, that's my first live episode.

improv and writing and stuff. I mean, I studied at Second City in Chicago and that's why I just, yeah, I live for that. And we two, I mean, and Trixie and Katya live. I mean, the three of us on stage every night. Between me not remembering a single line. It's fucking hilarious. When people ask, what's your favorite part of the show? Of course, I love doing Rose's turn, but it's honestly when the three of us just lose it and just go off into these like... I have to try to be so like, we have all of...

I love your scenes because they're all so, like when the three of us are together, that's the most anybody's ever interacting with, like dialogue wise on, you know, mostly it's just, it's either one, two or three and it's rarely three. And so when we're all there, there's like, and there's a moment when you're in your first scene where like, you guys are having a thing and I'm kind of off to the side and I feel left out. So I'm like,

Hi, I want to act too. It's just like, I don't know. I think Trixie said that one night. She's like, Katya needs to feel included. Yes! I'm like, I love how you two are just constantly like... But you're right. I mean, I agree with you. The funnest thing about that show is like the mistakes. But I have to stay conscious of like, the mistakes are only mistakes if you do do something good. Like, do you know what I mean? You have to like...

to perform something in order to make correctly in order to make a mistake. There has to be some contrast. Um, but yeah, I love it. I mean, what you want to come up with, I mean, this is a theatric experience. It's wild. For those of you who have seen it, no. And for those of you who are going to see it, you have no idea what you're in tune for. And it's, I think it's like, we've gotten like really great feedback. Um, I, you know, I always expect an X. I expected for this, like,

um, a fair amount of like hate or criticism just because, uh, we tend to be popular and anybody who's popular, like, you know, you get that pushback. You're like, Oh, they're overrated, whatever, whatever. And that's like all that stuff happens. But like, no, I don't think it's, I, I totally get it. I mean, cause I'll look at like someone, a popular pop star and be like, Oh,

Well, that's true. You know, you think about it. Like, are they actually not that talented? But who cares? Right. But we have gotten great. Like, I'm actually concerned about doing a really good show. And I think the show is entertaining. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean, literally, you all are. I've said this a million times, but I think Trixie and Kati are like the Beatles of drag. I mean, your fans are fucking amazing. Their energy and their... Yes, they are. And the...

And Nick, our merch guy, he said almost every night when I would get on the bus and see him, he was like, he could not believe how nice all the customers at the merch line were. And he says, everyone. They're so cool. Everyone. Like from the very first one to the very last one at that very end of the line at the end of the night was fantastic.

so polite, so nice, and like was patient. That's like so rare. No, it really is. But I mean, both of your energies, you know, are going to gravitate toward people like that. But that's what I mean is that you all could literally go out on stage and read the

Farmer's Almanac. I don't even know what that is. That's what we're going to do on the second leg. Yes, well, I hope so. I mean, I would only hope that you would read the Farmer's Almanac. Yeah. And they would scream for two hours. So the fact that you all have created this amazing theatric experience is just like kudos to y'all. It helps when the bar is set in the very low, like in the basement, because then all you got to do is bring it up to the ground floor. What does Sandy say? I don't even remember Sandy's voice. How did Sandy sound? Ow! Ow!

Oh my God. You look like two. I'm going to bring you out of the basement. There she is. Oh my God. I had to find her. I completely lost. Cheryl Canning. I can't do it. She's Cheryl Canning. I completely lost her. Victorian boys with typhoid look or whatever. I can't remember. She's on vacation. Yeah. But there's a, it's funny. Cause like I was, I was also afraid that the show would get like with a scripted show. I don't,

I was like, oh my god, every night's gonna get so dull. And, um, but I, I kind of, like, I didn't have to trick myself much into making it fresh because it was just, it pretty much was always...

It was always received pretty well, but it always felt kind of like fresh. Yeah. It never felt really dull. And it moved so quick. It moved so fast. So fast. The tour moved so fast. I mean, I thought, you know, like, oh my God, we're on like show seven. And they're like, no, you're on show like 20. I'm like, oh, how did that even happen? And yeah, every night was different. Yeah. Every night was different. Well, sometimes we had a carpet for stage. Oh my God. Where was that?

- LA! - Oh my God! - The theater at the Ace Hotel. - I hate that theater! Can someone please, I'm sorry, I have to say it. - Say it! - I hate that theater. - I do too, it sucks. - I hate the Ace fuckin' Theater. And can I tell you, that was the place where we held our reunion for season six and it just brings back nightmares for me. - I think we were there too as well, no. - And then didn't it flood downstairs? We, oh my God, you and I were right next door to each other and we got flooded out of our dressing rooms. - Oh, how about this? How about this?

I noticed some water, like a lot of water rushing through the door of my shitty dressing room. Girl, it was like the Titanic. And then it was shitty water. Ew. It was super, it was like. Is that what it was? Yeah, it was like. Oh my God, I stayed in my dressing room. It's, it's.

You were knee deep in shitty sewage water. Well, it didn't come into my dressing room. Oh, no, it came into mine. And I like, we opened the door and it's the hallways flooded. And I was like, work. I know. I saw Eden in the hallway and Eden was literally like, girl, like that's all she said.

said I was like this is a fucking nightmare we got carpet we got shitty water what else that and although we did I did get to meet Lisa Vanderpump that night well yes I did too and I fucking with her I love that she brings her dog to the theater her dog is a diva is so cute oh my god but she was she was astonishingly gorgeous oh my

astonishingly gorgeous. She was really breathtaking. I had met her once. Actually, I met her once before at, who was the, the one that was married to the plastic surgeon. Anyway, she had a party in Cocoa Peru and I went to it together and I met Lisa at that. And I remember thinking that night, your cleavage is so fucking great. And then I remembered at the show there at LA. And she's in her, she's in her sixties, um,

If she's whatever yank she's had is so well done. And she does her own hair and makeup. Does she? Yeah. Her makeup was beautiful. I mean, she looked fantastic. Yeah. She was very funny and cool. Oh my gosh. Very funny and cool. So cool. Yeah. I love that her and Trixie are like BFFs. I mean, it makes perfect sense. I know. And actual friends too. Not just like, here's my billionaire friend. No, totally. Just because she's rich or whatever. It makes perfect sense. Yeah, yeah. It does. It does.

At the Met Gala last night, I saw an interview with Gwen Stefani. She did her own makeup because her makeup artist at the last minute had an emergency come over. Died. Her makeup artist died at the last moment. And she still showed up in neon green sporting a wonderful makeup job. Sandy's got to do red carpet commentary. Yes, girl. Oh, my God. Like Joan Rivers. Yeah, like Joan Rivers. Oh, you look awful. You look horrible. What are you wearing? You look like a dirty tampon.

I got full of evil in here in the studio last night when we were on Twitter looking at the Met Gala. What was it? Gilded Glamour? Gilded Glamour. Gilded Glamour, darling. I don't even know what the fuck that means. The Gilded Age. So I expect everybody to show up from like, have you seen the Gilded Age? The HBO show? No, I haven't. But I did Google what it all meant. So I understand it now.

But it's crazy. They all, it was just a dog show. And I get, I get so, and people get so unreasonably upset about fashion, which I love because they get furious and vile. No, I know. I love that. I know. She's awful.

She looks like shit. She's disgusting. She should die. Trust me. I know when I wore that bacon dress, I got death threats. Which, by the way, is kind of cute. Like, it's not ugly. But I'm telling you, people get passionate about that shit. Oh, they need to get a life. I'm serious. They're like, you're going to, I'm going to fucking kill you. But you looked good. Like, you'd actually looked cute. Like, what the hell? It was no Amy Schumer at the Met Gala.

Someone on Twitter said that she looked like someone who was rescued from a gas leak. Amy Schumer? She's wearing like a coat dress that was like asymmetric and off the shoulder kind of and like a tuxedo coat dress with like with black sunglasses. And that's it. And that's it. And it was she looks so awkward and so uncomfortable and so bizarrely out of place. Why is she even there? Yeah, that's the thing. Why is she even there? She's a comedian.

I mean, if you are going to show up to the Met Gala as a comedian, then you make fun of it. Famously unglamorous. You know what I mean? Like, that's her, like, that's your image. Not glamorous, no lips, like her mouth is in, like, being sucked into her face rather than the Hollywood look. I just want to wear, like, a Cristiano Ronaldo Valentino gown. Cristiano Ronaldo is a soccer player? I don't know. Is that a...

Is that a designer? Cristiano Ronaldo Valentino, honey. And I just want to crawl across the carpet and just eat Cheetos. You know? Like, I'm like, oh my God. Anna Wintour would hate me. She'd throw me out in a minute. Yeah. I mean, that's what I want to do at the Met Gala. Everybody looked like shit. Well, they deserve it. Everybody looked like shit. They deserve it for even trying to show up and not look like shit. You know, I mean, I loved my Twitter feed.

It was literally like, you know, Met Gala, Kim Kardashian wearing Marilyn Monroe, and then they're taking abortion away. I mean, it's just like, I can't, it's too much. It's like, oh, this is the perfect smoke screen. Get people riled up about fashion to realize that they're taking women's rights away. That's when they're going to go in and just strip rovers as Wade right after.

from under you. We won't have stopped screaming about the Kardashians to realize that you can't get an abortion anymore. You can't get an abortion anymore. Oh my God. And then what did Kylie showed up in a wedding dress with a baseball cap and a veil, a backwards baseball cap and a veil. Yeah.

Rotten. I mean, it makes perfect sense to me. Yeah. All of them looked rotten. And then one of the stupid, like, you know, I don't know, one of the celebrity, like, E! Network or whatever, their Twitter, their social media person used the term Keet to refer to, like, you know, Brangelina. Like, a combination of Pete and Kim. Oh. I think they should just call them Pimberly. Pimberly. I like that.

Pimberley, what is it? Pimberley David Dashian? Yeah, Pimberley Carr Davidson. Pimberley Carr Davidson. It's longer. That's a great track name, actually. Yeah, Pimberley Carr Davidson of the Philadelphia Carr Davidsons. Pimberley Carr Davidson, ladies and gentlemen. And then, yeah, Billie Eilish's full name is William Jefferson Rutherford Eilish. Yes! I love Billie Eilish. She looked a mess.

She always looks a mess. No, she does. She frequently looks cool. Does she? I mean, yeah, I don't know. But the, she looked a mess on the, and she hadn't taken it. It looks like she was just doing her first pass at posing in the bedroom mirror, like practicing. Cause she was like doing this weird, crazy, like, like,

I hope she has hairy armpits. I need Billie Eilish to have hairy armpits. How do you... Hairy armpits. What's your stance? I have hairy armpits right now. Oh, you do? See, I don't. You don't. And I'm very... I'm... I mean, when I say hairy, I haven't shaved in like two days, so it's just a little stubble. But, you know...

Does it visit, do you get perturbed when you see a woman like a glamorous? No, I love it. You do? Oh my God, I grew up idolizing Ani DiFranco. I mean like, yeah, hairy armpits, combat boots. It can be very divisive. Oh, I love it. Lourdes, have you seen Lourdes? I have in the video for Madonna's Madame X show in Frozen. She had visibly hairy armpits. And Madonna used to have hairy armpits back in the day. I think it's important. I think it's wonderful. And I hate it though.

- I'm very brainwashed, but I've always been that way. I don't like Harry Ambrose on guys. - Oh really? - Yeah, I don't like him on anybody. - No, we don't like hair in general. - No, from here down, 'cause I grew up reading Anne Rice novels where everybody was hairless and bisexual.

that was the idea just a vampire yes they're like they have perfectly porcelain cold smooth skin they look dead dead like either gray or like luminous and then had no hair and then were bisexual they're fucking yeah that was the ideal for me it still kind of is when you do finally die i think she's probably gonna take your corpse and she's gonna scotch tape some cubic hair oh to your armpit that's

That's when I will reanimate and then I will come back to life. If they bury me like this with hairy armpits, I will never die. Oh my God. We will totally do that. Yes. Oh my God. Aren't you dying at 55? It's like what? 15 years from now? Oh, 55. God, that's so long from now. What does the show say? 55. Yeah, 55. 55. That's so long from now. It's 15 years. I know. You just turned 40. Happy birthday, by the way. Thank you very much. Yeah. You've crossed the threshold of 40. Sorry to out you. Yeah.

Sorry to out you. Well, you're very bold in assuming that I cross the threshold. How do you know? As my employer. Yes.

You fucking bitch. You better keep your mouth shut. I've got your W-2s. You'll die before 455 if you start releasing my W-2s. I think it's so funny. That's so funny when people get like, when they won't reveal their age. Oh, shut up. As if it's not public record. I'm older than Cher. Do you know what I mean? No, like, but everybody knows. Like, if you're famous or in the public figure, that is usually...

That's an accessible fact, like your birth date. So I think it's really funny when people get all riled up about their actual age. I do too. I would never get riled up about my actual age. No, I'll get riled up about whether I look, if I look horrible and someone points it out, they'll be like, I'll get riled up. The problem is I feel like a 13 year old girl. And so that's why I have a hard time kind of accepting where I'm really at. Because I'm like, I still think of myself as like a 13 year old girl.

I don't think of myself really having age because I don't do... I'm... Well, that's true. I do feel ageless. I mean, it's one of those things like... It's such a number. It is, but I mean, you can't deny that certain numbers do like come with a certain responsibility and expectation, you know? Well, yeah. Like 40, I feel like you are, it's your last chance to be an adult. Yeah.

This is true. Well, yeah. This is true. 50, you're like, this is your last chance to be alive. Yeah. And then 60, good luck. I mean, it's this right here. Oh, don't give me... That's the only time I ever think about the number because I'm all like, oh! Oh, but that started way before 40 for me. Like, the visible reckoning. Well, it did me too. It was all the drugs I did and all of the alcohol and everything. So that'll do it to you. But I mean, drag is...

These kids now, they're doing, they're starting, their sketchbooks, like, are their faces. So they're, like, 13, 14 years old experimenting with drag on a, like, I wouldn't say clear because sometimes they have acne, you know, but, like, young little kid faces. Yeah. I never did that. Do you know, like, did you ever do makeup, like, when you were young, young, young? I still don't. I don't even know how to do makeup. Oh, my God.

I still don't even know how to do makeup. - But you know what I mean? I didn't start drag until I was like 25, like performing professionally. - Yeah, no, I mean, I always tried to do, you know, like dress up like Boy George. - Okay, sure. Yeah, I mean, I did dress up and stuff too. - Like I used that, like I used like spray makeup. - Okay. - Where you would just like put a spray tan on and call it makeup.

But no, yeah. I mean, kids today with the makeup and the YouTube and the internet and everything, I mean, yeah, obviously they're going to be much more advanced. Well, not all the tools, but they have all, it's much easier. I looked up a picture, and I'm going to show you, of me when I was, I must have been 20, around 27. And I look like I'm,

Oh my god, can you all show this? Can you see? It's the hair though, girl. It's a lot of things. Oh my god, it's the... It's the hair, the garage door. Christmas ornaments. Yeah. It's the garage doors. Ear bombs. It's the... The garage doors. It's the thin villainous lips. How old were you here?

Well, I look about 45, but I'm 27. You're 27. And isn't that amazing? Because you do look younger in hair and makeup now than you do there. It's chilling. I know. But I noticed that too. I was watching something popped up on TV the other night. I was in years and years and years ago. And I was like, I feel like I look younger now than I did then.

I think it's just because we've gotten to know how to do makeup better. Yeah, it's just trial and error. And unfortunately, like the canvas degrades as the skill set, you know, increases. I mean, I'm kind of on this trajectory where I'm, well, I'm probably destined, but I'm almost at this point determined to just play women that are completely messy and just have lipstick stuck on their teeth all the time. And you don't even want to tell them they do because it's just going to end up back on their teeth.

Exactly. And that's such a relief because I tried for so long to be hot and sexy and all these things. And I'm like, girl, I can't even do that. Who has the time? It's so stressful. You think about like those moments in, you know, the...

moments when like a woman is like breathtakingly beautiful on film or on TV are so stressful and there's so much going on behind the scenes right up to that point and to get there and then it's so fraught with tension and stress and like discomfort you want to be the drunk aunt who falls over and has her pussy out on the floor like that's what you really want because you can do that take five six seven eight nine times it just keeps getting better yes but not the like

that kind of like fragile, gorgeous, perfect beauty, like good luck, bitch. Leave it to the Violet Tchotchkes and the spames and everything. I mean, I'm really good at doing it in like the bedroom, you know, when the lights are really dim and I have a pillow over my head. But it's like, if I have to do it on camera, I can't do that anymore. It's too much work. I did that Modern Family with Sophia Varga-Yarga.

And I tell you, just watching her be Sofia Vargas the whole time, it's so much work. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. And so by that point, I just like took a makeup white and just did this to my face. And I was like, I just want to look ugly next to her because what else am I going to do when you're standing next to Sofia Vargas? Vargas. Yeah. She is also, she's married to Joe Mangana. Is she? Oh, the baseball player? No, the actor. Oh, the actor.

- Two like super hot sex pot people. I wonder what their sex is like. - Effortlessly. - Well, I don't know. There's a lot of effort that goes into him. He's like jacked. - Oh yeah, is he? - Oh, he's a huge- - Has to work out a lot. - Like big muscle, muscle queen. - I mean, what must that be like to wake up like that every day? - I know, not from firsthand experience, but I know enough hot people to know that they're not satisfied.

No, they're not. Like it's, it's, it's nice to be able. It's like more. Is that what Trixie tells you? Yeah, right. As a hot person. No, she's like, I mean, I, I have a lot of, I look, look around and like, um, if I'm out with a group of friends, it's usually porn, porn people. I have this like the booty, like, but it was like that asked like young porn people.

And I'm like, how did this happen? Like six, seven, like porn stars in their late twenties who are very gorgeous with incredible bodies and, and,

various amounts of augmentation. And nobody's any happier because you just acclimate. Totally. Your mind finds a way to make things crazy or unsatisfying. But it is weird. I feel like I'm in the middle. You're not ugly, but you're not hot. So that is just complicated. Well, I think you're very hot and Kati is very hot.

So I don't think, yeah. I mean, but yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's when it becomes an obsession. I think it always is. Like, you know, like I've, although it was super like objective, like objectively super hot people. Like if you put them in a lineup, everybody would more or less think they're hot. They're not any happier. No, no, no. I mean, I know from, I mean, I have like body dysmorphic disorder probably. If I was, if I were to be diagnosed, I probably have it, you know, because I'm constantly just focused on every single flaw, right?

You know, when you're in front of the camera all the time, that's, I mean, that's hard not to do. So when are you going to fix them? Fix them. Well, I just don't. Exactly. Listen, I've tried to fix all of them and they end up becoming worse. Because the universe hates me. So when you go in for a procedure, it's like, oh, you can go right back to work after lunch. I look like Lady Frankenstein. But then it stays that way. It never gets fixed. I want to get a yank. I think if I live long enough, I'll get a yank. Yeah? Yeah.

But you have to maintain it. What do you mean? What do you mean maintain it? Maintain the yank. Like keep it yanked? I don't know. Like what are you going to do 10 years when it's not yanked no more? Get it re-yanked. Get it yanked tighter. I mean, I'm not sure. Plastic surgery is changing so much. I mean, I want to. Yeah. I kind of want to. Have you had anything done? No. You don't have to take Botox and juve. Yeah. Botox. Yeah. I wish the Botox stopped. Usually Botox stops you from sweating. Yeah.

It doesn't do that for me. It doesn't do that. Have you done it where you sweat? Botox and Dysport, I get like, I always tell them, fill me up. Like, kill a monkey that much. Where? On my forehead. But that's not going to stop you from sweating. Don't you have to get the Botox in your sweat glands to stop you from sweating? No, no. It's supposed to like, wherever you get it under the skin, it's supposed to stop that from sweating. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, allegedly it does. It certainly doesn't with me. I mean, if it did, I would get it everywhere.

Literally. But then I guess I would just be totally paralyzed. I kind of hope you never stop sweating. I'm never going to. Because it's awesome. Never. I love it. I come from a family of prodigious sweaters. Like, I mean, concerning. Like my dad who turns 68 tomorrow. Oh, really? He sweats. Yeah. He is like a karate master. And I talked about this on the last podcast. He's like, we would do training sessions. My dad, my brother and me all did karate in the same studio. And.

And like 30 guys in a training session that's like two to four hours long sometimes. There would be like a puddle of rainwater of sweat on the floor of the studio. Like I'm talking people dripping, dripping, dripping. That's crazy. Dripping, gushing with sweat. And the next day you could see like an accumulation of dried salt from the sweat on the floor. It was so gross. But like,

I cannot believe how much I sweat and my dad sweats even more. It's so gross. I love it. I think there's a scene in the show where like you put your head like right here for a second, like on the floor where we're doing it. And when I get back, there's always like this big, like wet. I love it. A print. It's so gross. It's Katya. But since the part, I'll try to keep it brief about the sweating because all we do, me and Trixie, is talk about air conditioning. It's like the HVAC podcast.

I need you to corroborate the following claim. Okay. There was a show. Fuck, where was it? There was a show in Arizona. The show in Phoenix. Phoenix. That was cool. Oh my God. Not only was it cool, it was like an ice. It was cold. Cold.

And on stage, sometimes it's cool in the dressing room. That's a small room. Yeah. Sometimes it's cool backstage. But then when the lights come on and the show starts, the stage becomes an oven.

You know what I mean? Sometimes when me and Trixie are sitting there hostage tight, you know, when you're doing your whole karma thing, we are broiling. Broiling. I look over at her. Her nose is wet, which means I'm soaked. And just sitting there in the spotlight broiling like rotisserie chickens. Because you both looked so pissed at that point. Yeah. You're like...

And it's just like, you're doing, you are living, living with the gold arms and everything. I'm like, I just sat in front of a fan backstage. I'm totally, would you like to join me backstage? And you all are like, I mean, sometimes literally just dripping. And then the worst, you know, it's like getting embarrassed. The thing about when you're, when you're,

conscious of sweating and then self-conscious about it, you just sweat more. - Yeah. - And it just, it's like, it's horrible. Anyways, but that-- - No, you all-- - Don't you think that was one show that was adequately AC? - The only one. - Was that the only one? - Yes. - I can say for a fact that I can corroborate that Trixie and Katya keep backstage

Fucking freezing. I don't know how many times. And of course, I would never say anything because, you know, I'm like the good little guest star. So I'm like running around going, can anyone find me a fucking space heater? I cannot. Like, I'm freezing right now. And I'm naked. Oh my God. So they would be bringing me space heaters like on the DL, you know, while you all are like, oh, it's perfect weather back here. And I'm all like, it's wet.

Hypothermia. It's crazy. I mean, it's like, it's so horrible. I picked the wrong career. For sure. For sure, yeah. I think drag is the wrong career for so many. It's better than just sweating. It shouldn't be a career period. Yeah. It's so strange to say like drag career anyways. A career. What do you want to be when you grow up? Wait, wait, wait, wait. So wait, so what was your worst gig? For any reason, you know, the least enjoyable. Yeah, acting gig. Nightmare gig. Oh no.

I'm so sure. No, I'm kidding. Actually, that was fun. This theatrical show that's currently on right now called Trixie and Katya Live. No, that's one of my favorite gigs. Oh, my God. I am loving this gig. This is so much fun. I love doing theater. You like theater better than film and TV? I do. I'm a theater...

I mean, like inside the actor studio is like porn for me. I mean, I'm one of those people that, yeah, like get into like the, like I want to discuss the art of acting and like your process. And just to hear like all these legendary actors talk about these legendary roles and movies and how they play stuff. So yeah, I'm like, that's like my full on fantasy. It turns me on.

Can I give you the, can I give you the, the questionnaire? Yeah. Can I, the, the, you know, James Lipson does at the end. Oh no, I've never done this. You've never done it. Okay. Then let's do it. Let's do it. Um, I,

I would say my worst TV gig though, I'm gonna say it, was Modern Family. Okay, why? A lot of reasons. A lot of reasons. A lot of reasons. I'm like, yeah. It was not a pleasant gig. It was not a pleasant gig at all. I wanted it to be, and I had been called in for that show like 16,000 times over the last 40 years or something.

Of course, I'm exaggerating. I'm not that old. But yeah, it was weird. It was weird energy, girl. Oh, that's not good. I'm like, that's Sofia Barbargaro. Bargararo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird energy, but yeah. Okay, let me see. Okay, so this is, we have to, we're going to wrap up soon. Okay. So the questions that James Lipton so dramatically asked, you know, at the end of the interview, what is your favorite word? My favorite word?

Serendipity. Okay. What is your least favorite word? My least favorite word is... What is my least favorite word? My least favorite word. You have to answer these too. What's your favorite word? My favorite word is like... I'll say my favorite Russian word is shlucha. Ew, what's that mean? Slut. It's just such a strange word. I love that. Yeah. My least favorite word...

Probably patriarchy or misogyny. Uh-huh. Yeah. Mine is sir. Sir. Sir. What? What?

No. Right? Don't call me sir. Sir. Also don't call me ma'am either. Sir and ma'am. We got to do away with that. Yeah. We got to do away with that. Excuse me, sir. We still say that all the time. I know. My man was in the Marine Corps and he is very big about like, sir, yes sir. Sir Patrick Stewart, not like sir me. I know. I think it's so stupid. I know. I prefer to be called madam. Yeah. Madam X. Madam X. Madam X is a tennis instructor. What turns you on? Hmm.

This. What turns you off? This. What sound or noise do you love? Wait, we need to back up. What sound or noise do you love? I love...

I love like any whoops or like, or like any, any, any like kind of reflexive acknowledgement of a mistake. Like, whoops. Yeah. Yeah. Like, or like, or like, Whoa. Or things like that. Like when people fall or like the whole range, I love those that you just kind of like, you know, whatever. Yeah. And what sound or noise do you hate? What sound or noise do I hate?

I mean... There's so many. Children crying on an airplane. I was going to go with that. Yeah. I was going to go with the classic. Yeah. Also, electric guitar rehearsal. Yeah.

I would say violin rehearsal. Yeah. That has a horrific element though. Like that has like a, I mean, that is so intense. Electric. There's something. So if you live next to a person who wants to be in a band. Yeah. It's a rap. Have you done that? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Like the, it's a couple of times actually. And people who are practicing the guitar. Yeah. Especially the electric guitar. I mean, it's just horrible. Or the drums. That's brutal.

Yeah. I think about that a lot because I'm a guitar player, but luckily I play acoustic only. Sure. And so I always wonder though, like, you know, if my man's like, oh my God, please stop Jewel. Oh yeah. Yeah. Who do you think you are? Okay. What is your favorite curse word? My favorite curse word is shit. Goddamn mother fuck.

I love a compound curse word. Like a combo. I think I love fuck. I love just fuck. Because it has so many meanings. So many meanings. You can be like fuck. Or like fuck. Or like fuck. Or like fuck. Or like ouch. Or like yes. Or like mm. Did you fuck her? Did he fuck her, Dolores? Fuck her. Lick her in the rear. Poke her in the front. Fuck.

And it's just so quick and it's so zippy. Yeah. I mean, most of them are. What is your, okay, and last one, what profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I think I want to be a meteorologist. I have no idea why.

I'm obsessed with tornadoes. Helen Hutton Twister. Yes. I want to be Helen Hutton Twister. Or Jodie Foster in Contact. I mean, it's kind of the same thing. It's totally the same thing. Your dead daddy compels you into science. So can I ask you, are you obsessed with Nell? I mean, because you talk about Jodie in Contact. You're not. Did you not like it? Chicka-bee, chicka-bee, moo, moo, moo. Come on. No, I mean, a feral Jodie Foster. I'll take Jodie Foster in any situation. I'm sorry, Jodie Foster.

I know. Jenny Foster in pajamas with her lover on the couch accepting the Emmy. I will not accept that. That's where I draw the line. That's where you draw the line. I was pissed. I was, first of all, I was like, why are you having an award ceremony on Zoom? Like, don't do that. Just cancel it. It's so decadent and so stupid enough. And then when she, like, when she had the, she had the gall to like,

pretend that there was no chance she was going to win. And then she was like, but you're nominated. If you're nominated, you have to prepare a speech. And then you have to have someone write it because it's, you're wasting people's time. And like, it was just so cringe and it made me like so upset.

Like she just, it was so boring. And she had her lesbian lover on the bed. And I was like, this is so weird. I know. She came and saw a musical I was in years ago. She's incredible. She is amazing. That was the only bad moment I've ever witnessed, you know, and she's been through quite a lot.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, she's a, she is unlike anybody. Oh my God. She's a unique American and perfect French, by the way, she speaks perfect. Yeah. I read that actually. She went to a French high school or something in LA. She speaks perfect French to the point where she can do, um, she has done many, um,

French interviews in perfect Parisian French. Well, she's one of those actors that I like because she talks about the fact that she will literally close contact with all of her friends and family and relatives when she's playing a role. See, I do the same thing except I'm not acting. Yeah.

she's so intense i do this exactly i mean you and i are very alike in that way we haven't seen any roles that she's played yet but i'm sure something's coming out soon and then if god if heaven exists what would you like god to say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates fuck you yeah yeah

Fuck off. Yeah. Ma'am, sir. Ma'am, sir. Yes, that's exactly what's going to happen. I'm going to say, you are so completely assassinated. God's going to say, what are you? What are you? That's exactly what's going to happen. You know it is.

You know it is. Kelly Mantle killed God. Killed God, honey. I love that. Let me be the one to kill God. Yeah. I'll gladly. I would too. I would gladly support you in that mission. Okay. What would you, anything you'd like to say or, and also don't let me forget, how do people find you online and all that?

How do they find me online? How do they find you online? I don't know. How do you find me online? Twitter is The Kelly Mantle. The Kelly Mantle. The Kelly Mantle because some teacher from London has the other one. And Instagram is Kelly Mantle.

And then, are you a TikToker? I have to join TikTok. Everyone keeps telling me to join TikTok, so I'm going to join TikTok. Just don't know nudity or profanity. No? No. Why? They'll censor you. Oh. Do you do TikTok? I try. I do it under the pseudonym Frederica Bemel, which is a deep cut. That's from Silence of the Lambs. I know. That's amazing. But I get censored all the time. And for erotic content that's not...

erotic at all but what have you done like it puts the lotion in the basket is that why you're getting lots i don't know i don't know they just they're haters but anyways um thank you so much for coming oh my god it's so fun to see you i've missed you these last three weeks we've been away from each other it's a rare delight to have um a colleague that you genuinely enjoy all the time oh

I love y'all so much. I've yet to find one. Y'all are so amazing. And we're getting ready to go to... Australia. I know. Have you been there? I never have. This will be my first time. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's crazy. It's so far away. I know. It's so far away. I hear the flight's like 39 hours. It takes three weeks. Yeah. Well, you lose a day and then you get one back. Oh. Do that math for me. How is that possible? I don't even know how that works.

You lose a day. You lose a day. And then you get one back. I'm sure Trixie will be working both of them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. She'll be feverishly working both days that she loses and gets...

You and I will be mummies. Yeah, comatose. Oh my God. Well, thank you so much. Thank you. I love you. I love you, baby. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.