Freestyling From a Bathtub in the Desert with Trixie and Katya
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well well well well well well well well bitch you know what we're not doing honey we're on we're not on tour no we're not we're on vacation honey christmas cookies yes we have this cookie we have an item on the menu called homemade cookies and you know you want to know why they're homemade because david's mom bakes them

whatever she's feeling and brings them down here they're beautiful you can buy homemade mom's cookies I don't know I don't see her I told him doing that the Hilton hotels I don't see ramada I don't see Radisson blue no no how are they what if they're like what have you been into it you're like they are horrible though they're good they're really good they're also very pretty oh I gotta say I love this I'm really happy for the I'm real happy for him let you finish but I love when these are chocolate and peanut butter okay I like these a lot white chocolate

My hangover is just lifting. Finally. I'm making a mess. Is that okay? I mean, yeah. What about the fact that I just walked, there's a woman working on her computer and she said hi to me when she walked in. And she wasn't in pink, which is the uniform, but I thought maybe she's upper management.

Next to her I sat there management and I asked her how she's doing and I asked her about the Wi-Fi access and she was like I think it's just guest access. Yeah, I by the way, I checked into room three and um, there's no there's shitty towels in the bathroom Yeah, I walked up and said I broke something in the hall of. Oh, but can you know? Well here we're in Palm Springs. I'm gonna be honest. I thought it was me cold here It's hot hot bitch and the pool is lovely gal. Oh

The pool is lovely. We drove here. Can you talk about it? Can you talk about it for a minute? I, cause I imagine if I were you, I would have, um, woken up and been like, okay, is this fucking bitch going to kill me in her car? Like, and that would have been a very real, that would have been a very real, very like, um,

very like reasonable fear. Oh, can I be honest? Yeah. I thought that. Of course you did. And I wasn't joking to myself. No, no, no. What if this is how we die? I thought about that for the whole week. And then I thought, what if she's not doing so well? Exactly. And then she drives me. She shows up two sheets to the wind or whatever. And then she drives me. And then,

I lose a leg and she feels bad forever. And then she spirals, you know. Do you know what I thought? This is where I went last night when I was like, I'm going to go to bed early and I'm going to wake up early and be refreshed. I had breakfast. I was like, did all the things because I was like, I'm not going to kill this person in my car. But if it was just you? Oh, it doesn't matter. Whatever. Drunk. But like, but I thought I was like, okay, what's going to happen is we're going to get into it. Like a twisted metal flames accident. And I'm going to survive this.

And they're going to do a toxicology report. And then you're dead and your family's, the whole family's going to sue me. And then, hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. How are you? This whole thing played out in my head. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I'm no dummy. And I was like, I've been thinking about it every day for a week. Every day for a week.

I was like, and I'm like, and then I was thinking, I was like, is it a compliment? Is it an honor to have the trust of somebody? Or are they so...

Reckless with their life that they would trust it with mine. You know what I thought? No, I thought you know what? I thought cars are really sophisticated now like they're self-driving I thought she could show up Sybil and like we could still make it like my hands would even get to the wheel Yeah, Jeff Jeff Jeff Bezos is was that the guy who owns Elon Musk Elon Musk? Yeah, Mary he's driving your car. Yeah, right. He's got one hand on Twitter He's gonna go on the wheel of your car Take the way wait, so I did fine. I

You did a great job. You have a beautiful car. Can we say it's a Range Rover? I think so. It's not one of them fancy ones. One of them poor ones. It's a poor one. Yeah, it's a smaller one. It's nice. I mean, not to be somebody who hasn't driven in a while. The screen.

Big fancy, every car has an iPad. Every car has a 72 inch home theater system. It's crazy, but I don't, because I'm like analog. Like I said, I was like, I'm looking back if I'm going in reverse. You're doing this? Yeah, I'm doing that. You don't do that anymore. You look at the screens and then I can't trust the computer and everything's on a computer and I'm like, I don't want to, whatever. But it's, you know, catch up with the times. Have you ever seen Tangerine? It's a film about sex workers. Oh yeah, shot on an iPhone or something or a banana.

I forget. It's shot on like a phone. Yeah. And some of it is, let's say sex workers, maybe trans identifying sex workers. Okay. And this girl, she gets picked up by this guy and they're going through a car wash for the sex act. And the scene is shot from the backseat and you see their silhouettes and like the car wash starts and you think, oh, she's a hooker. She's going to suck his cock. You better believe that like bald fucker sucks, sucks her dick while she just sits there in the car wash like this.

Working at the car. While Rose Royce plays. You might not ever get. You suck dick. I did. I actually, I'm not saying we have the same brain, but I was in bed last night drunk, but thinking, yeah, I'm going to die in this car crash and she's going to have blood that's not so pure as Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the toxicology report is going to be liable and I'm going to have to

People are going to hate her. Yeah, it's going to be over. Killing me. Yeah. It'll be like a James Mansfield situation. Yeah. Yeah. Head cut off. I almost said James Mansfield. I'm pretty sure she's alive. Haven't talked to her today. She's doing okay. But I mean, I thought about it. I thought about it long and hard and very deeply. White knuckling it all week. Yeah. I was like, okay, okay.

But now that you're here? It's done. We're probably seeing Bianca tonight. Somebody's getting drunk. But I was like, because I've never been on the 10. I've never been on the 10. It was the 101 to the 10 the whole way. Okay, see, if I didn't know that, maybe I would have taken a car. Really? You're like, I also don't have a license. No, I mean, I can't believe you trusted me to do it. There are certain people in our life that I would never get behind the wheel of, or I would never allow drive me long places. Madeline Lequeur? Yeah.

I wish she was in my life. I met her the other night for the first time. She's really great. I didn't know who she was. Well, yeah, because she also lost a ton of weight. That's the thing. I thought to myself, she kind of does look like Madame Lequeur. David goes, I think that's Madame Lequeur. And I said, she's really trim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She has like, she had a wild transformation. Yeah. Yeah. Do you hear people talking? Yeah, there are people talking over there. Oh.

Hi. Yeah, a little tour. I love to tour. I love to tour the motel. This is a beautiful motel. Now, I've seen it, obviously, but this is really, really something. It's really special. We opened in September, and we've been on tour. I haven't been here since we were open, which is why I walked up to a guest today like they worked here. But you know what, though? This is just a lesson. You walk up to anyone confident enough and give them something to do,

They'll do it. They'll do it. You treat someone like they work there, they'll work there. Well, if I like throw my keys to somebody, will they just think they're my valet? They'll catch them and get in your car and drive you somewhere. Yeah. Okay, maybe I should try that on the way home. Can you even catch? Do you guys have that kind of relationship where you can- No, we don't do that. That assistant thing where you're like, hold my gum. No, we're not there. No, it's not like- You don't spit into her hand? I spit gum in Brandon's hand all the time. Before I get on stage, I put it up my butt.

I've spit in his hand gum. Yeah. I've spit in Venus hand. Yeah. I try. I don't, I don't like doing that. I will find a trash can. I don't like it. I know you do, but sometimes it's happening. Do you know how many times I've had gum in my mouth on stage during our show? Seriously? I'll forget. And then I'm out there and I'm like, I heard that it stays in your stomach forever. I'm scared of that. No, it does not. It moves through the system. It breaks down.

I need the toxicology report on that. On that, honey. She wasn't drunk, but her stomach was filled with gum. Last night I went to see Andrew Yang's Christmas musical. Cabaret. Christmas Cabaret. And it was so fun. It was Andrew painted up like an actual clown whore. Yeah, clown whore. Clown makeup, whore little body, couture little dress. And then it's all these porn people, all these drag queens. And it was at Plaza on La Brea in LA, which...

Is or was or believes it is a Mexican restaurant because it looks like the tables are set up family style. They are. That is so weird. They don't serve food there. They certainly don't. No, and they should. I wish they did. That's one of my favorite things about going to like a Hamburger Mary's. Sitting and eating. But eating in drag does not to me, that does not.

Like, it's not dinner theater. We're not at medieval times. Unless we can throw our burgers at the dream. You know what I mean? I don't. You want jousting. I just want, I want like. Two drag queens on bird scooters running at each other with canes. Yeah.

With walkers. With walkers. I mean, that would be fierce. I don't know. I mean, actually, Hamburger Mary's food is not that bad. No, not at all. It's not that bad. Shout out to the, I think they're called Brittany Fried Spears. They're fried pickle spears. Oh, yeah. I love those. Those are really good. I love fried pickles. It's a little expensive, though. But any food in LA is so expensive. That's what I discovered. Eat at the Motel. How was your pizza? It was great. Wasn't it great? And the cookies were lovely. Oh, there's some more. Oh.

Oh, this looks good. Yeah, I'm going to have that one. The pool is fabulous. The pool is borderline hot. Yeah, it's pee warm. It's piss warm. You get overheated. Yeah, it's lovely. It's amazing. It's actually really weird to jump in a pool and feel absolutely no shock of like cold. It's super strange. Yeah, it does feel like a tub. Have you ever peed on yourself in the tub? At night it's warmer in there than it is outside. Actually, it is now. Like you get out and it's a little chilly. Have you ever peed on yourself in the tub?

In the bathtub? While it's plugged? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. We're not peeing on ourselves. We're not sitting in the pee. That's like some call me by your name shit.

They pee on each other in that movie? No, but they might. But I'm saying like in the sequel. I called you by your name. And you peed on me. Yeah. No, like I'm going to eat your cum peach. It's sort of like I'm going to sit in your piss water. Do you know what I mean? Eat my cum peach and sit in my piss water. Sit in my piss water. Yeah, you old boot. Yeah, come down to the Pink Lotus and sit in my piss water, honey. They're eating cum peach. Oh, my God. There's a tub here in the flower power room that is bright candy pink. Okay.

Okay. And I would love to piss in there. If I'm going to piss in a hot tub, that's, if I'm going to piss in a tub, that's the one. Now, why? Well, because if you're going to do something, you do it right. Okay. Same reason. Oh, because the water looks pink in there? Well, it's just like a hot, hot, hot pink bathtub and then just freely, freely letting loose my borderline green pee.

Tinged brown pee. The dehydrated, when I did the first pee in the bathroom here when we got here. Yeah. She was like pumpkin spice. Yeah.

It's disgusting. Shooting out of your fucking, shooting out of your wiry grapefruit. You got more hair on your dick than on your head, you bald old bitch. You old wired bitch. You piss sitting tub ass bitch. You piss sitting tub ass little bitch. Become peach eating bitch. Fuck. Oh my God. He's probably like, God, are they yelling at me? Oh my God. Oh, see, look, cleaning the pool with go-go boots on. That's the kind of staff we got here.

You really know how to train him here, honey. When they start work here, they put on the little professional outfit. And I say, do they do, do you do interviews or do you just get drifters who wander in and you just put a name tag on them? Apparently I walk up to guests and I tell them what to do. Yeah. Um, no, we interview people. A lot of the people are from hospitality. I mean, we have people coming from people interview from Disney. People interview from some people are hotel professionals. Some people just love the Trixie motel and they're like, I want to work at your motel.

We have a lot of diverse people. Well, we have a lot of people to pick from. We don't just have to pick whoever because a lot of people want to work here. I mean, I would want to work here. It seems like a sweet gig. You pay minimum wage? No, we don't pay minimum wage. Competitive rates. Yeah, I don't think anybody here is. I don't know. I don't feel comfortable talking about people get paid. Yeah, you don't even know who works here. I don't know what you make here. We were talking about an internship. We were talking about. Well, on the way here, we tried not to talk about anything that was.

We try to get things out that we wouldn't talk about the pod. Right. We talked about sex and money salaries. We talked about some things I saw at the drag show last night that I wouldn't, I wouldn't repeat. Right. Yeah. Insider trading stuff. I was slack jawed. Some of the things that were said and done, Pete for mile was there sitting next to me. And I was like, well, I was also, I got really drunk. So everybody's mildly reacting. And I'm like, I don't know what I was doing. I was like, I was like doing theater. And then Pete was like,

I was like, if he was like the PR nightmare. Oh, right. Yeah, it was. Plaza, though. Yeah, I mean, it's a little enclave. I've seen some, I hope this isn't a read, I've seen some good old drag shows there. The classic drag. The proper put on the gown, put on the ballad. Do the old Gaga girl. Give them the good old Just Dance era Halloween Express costume Gaga.

Yeah, the 50-year-old woman in a $10 catsuit. Yes, give me like, you know...

Unshaved arms, pockmarked skin, and some of those glasses that say like Gaga. Yes. That's what I want. Just say what it is. Say what it is. Say what it is. And good drag is tired. You know what I realized last night? Well, good drag is so common these days. Like it's not, it's not like a. Not common enough between us, but. Well, I didn't say that we did good drag. I said that we knew where to find it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said that we could. The best thing about it is. We could if we would, but we don't want to. But we don't. Well, no, we do theater. I went to three Christmas things this week.

What'd you do? I went to Andres Regal Christmas party on Monday. And what was that? You had to bring an ornament to trim his tree. And he had ornaments over the years of all his parties. Oh, that's cute. Orminants. Orminants. Orminants. Orminants. Orminants. Foliage. Did you bring the cum peach orminant? Well, I was like, oh, this is kind of funky. David got like a parachuting Santa. That's wacky. And mine was like a vintage turtle dove ornament. That's wacky. Yeah. I walk up to his tree.

About half of them were cocaine themed. What? Drug themed? I was like, oh, my ornament is tired. One of them was a go-go boy, a beefy muscle queen ornament. One of them was like a coke ornament. What do you mean a coke ornament? What did it look like? A pair of dentures painted. Oh, that's fun though. Yeah. That's fun. It was really cool ornaments. Ornaments. Ornaments. I got a tree. I love it. I love it.

I love the tree. I love the trim the tree, but it's fake. It's a faker. Yeah, nobody wants a real tree. Who's dragging pine needles into their home? Real trees is something invented by Dyson to get you to buy vacuums. You know what? That's true. That's like why Listerine created halitosis.

Absolutely. It's true though. You think? No, no, it is true. Babies were invented by pampers. Obesity is not real. Halitosis is a myth. It's all made up. Obesity is not real? Obesity is like a term that was like coined by the barometric. I can see you making this shit up. I can see you making this shit up. You little liar. You little fucking lying bitch. You cum peach eating ass bitch. Call me by your name.

Did you we still have to see the cannibal movie bones and all bones and all sticking out? I've seen that in the whale right now are having racquetball responses of good and bad David did you see the whale yet? Did you see that? Are you gonna see the whale? I'm not gonna see it either. But you know, I want to see it I only want I do not want to patronize the movie theater in order to see it. That's how I don't care She's in everything though. She was in the menu. She served. Yeah, literally the man She was a server

She was a server. She served. It's so fierce. We talked about it in the car, but I was watching the commercial, the preview. For the whale? It's Hong Chao crying, and she looks fucking gorgeous. Yeah. Crying. She's such an incredible actress. Crying, crying, crying. And then you have Brendan Fraser going, RM.

And I was like, okay, this movie is going to be fucking crazy. Yeah. It's, I don't understand why Darren Aronofsky made it though. Do you know what I mean? His like, his, what movies did he do? A record for a dream. No, no, no. Requiem for a dream. The wrestler, um, mother, um, uh, the, uh, what else did he do?

He's made, he's like one of the, are like, he's an auteur of our time. Doing wacky movies. Yeah, doing like, I mean, they're always like a challenging sit. You know what I mean? They're not exactly feel good films. Are they crazy? They're crazy. How crazy? They're crazy and unforgettable. On a scale of Requiem for a Dream to Please Baby Please, how crazy? Yeah.

I would I mean they're they're crazy like but this one is strange like why would he make this film? I don't understand it is record for a dream ass to ass. Yes. I've not seen it But people always talk about that. It is so disturbing to watch. Okay, he puts his characters through hell. They go through hell I go through hell touring But but this is like this I just it's such a head scratcher. It's such a head scratcher Do you like Latoya Jackson?

Do you like Latoya Jackson? Yes. You do? Okay. Okay. What else? Let's take a break. Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you, you watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself.

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What I want to know about Latoya Jackson, we're back, is Darren Aronofsky should have cast Latoya as the whale. Yes, and not used a fat suit. And Brendan Fraser as Hong Chao. Thank you. And Hong Chao as just an ethereal spirit that inhabits each person. I don't know, something. Well, maybe, honestly, maybe there's a through line, okay? Because think about it. Downsizing?

Hong Chao's in that. It's about getting little. The whale? It's about getting big. The menu? It's about feeding. How you get there. Hong Chao is telling stories of her own. It's actually, it's a trilogy directed, ghost directed by Hong Chao. Absolutely. And the meaning of it is only accessible through viewing all three films.

I would watch in a row. Hong Chao, if you're listening to the pod, come down to the motel. We'll give you a stay. I just, I love her. She is electrifying. There's something there. She's electrifying. There's something there. She's electrifying. She's electrifying. Which is, and now as someone of that caliber talent now in Hollywood, you never know because you,

The choices people make, it's such an unstable, unpredictable career, right? Someone of her caliber, why they're choosing to do The Whale, I can't really know. I can't really know. I think we talked about this. Did you see Downsizing? No, not yet. Mary, this is like her first big film. I remember watching it and being like, okay, I guess it's Kristen Wiig, I guess it's Matt Damon, I guess it's whoever.

who the was that because she turns yeah she she bends everyone over in that theater she spreads their ass sheets and she puts her tongue up in their ass with her acting her acting tongue up their art ass their art hole ass she rims those well that's the thing about andrew's show about 75 of the people at that show had a fist inside them at that moment including the people off stage yeah it's it's a wild crowd it was a wild crowd it's seen and done a lot

They've seen it done a lot. And I think a lot of people have seen them do a lot. Yeah. If you want to know where I was last night, I spilled three drinks and I only had two. The whale. The whale. I can't get over it. So I need to see it in order to like, um, to, to have like a valid discussion of it. But Mary, should we go to the drive-in? They have a drive-in here. I want,

I wonder if they're shooting the whale at the driver's. The movie looks so depressing and it looks so like it's just cloying you, like just trying to get you to cry and trying to get him an Oscar. You know what I mean? I hate that shit. Well, that's how everything is now. Yeah, you got to put on a fat suit or make yourself ugly, put some bad teeth in and then like grovel and snovel in front of the camera. No, you get Frances McComroy down here, you give her a weird mole and

And she plays like a disenfranchised French woman. And it's like, you have to see this movie called The Letter. It's always something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Letter. The Whale. The Girl. The Wrestler. The Whale. The Pig. The Million Dollar Baby. Now that was fierce though. She ate her own tongue. That's a sickening movie. Yeah, that is really, it is totally sickening. Like sickening. I cried so hard when she gets unplugged.

Oh, I just ruined the movie for everyone. Sorry, when she unplugs her iPhone cable. Sorry. In the first 10 minutes of the film. Wait, I watched... We watched a Christmas movie last night. Fell asleep. Supposed to go to the cabaret. Didn't make it. But the Batman Returns. It's a wonderful Christmas movie. It is a Christmas movie. I love the way they're lighting the tree and that girl falls from the rooftop and she's like... I...

I remember first watching this movie, and I've seen it many times, every time that she dies. She dies. I hate that. It's pretty dark. I feel like it's mean. What is she called? It's very mean. The Ice Princess. The Ice Princess. Yeah, it's mean. When I did the Christmas Hollis Leigh spectacular, Sonique was in that. Yes, she dressed like that. I immediately got that reference. It was so, so smart and fun. That movie is so good. It's so good. Michelle Pfeiffer. That pink house, I love it.

Black spray paint? Nobody can do it like her. Nobody. And we're led to believe that she's this mousy, unfuckable, like, you know, spinster kind of lady in the first bit. And she's so hot. She is.

Oh, she's gorgeous. She's so hot. They're making believe. Yeah, yeah. But her acting is so good that she's selling it. And then she's in that super 90s glossy red lip. Oh, yeah. With the metallic black blue smoke eye. Yep. It's so fierce. It's so fierce. I wonder if it's latex what she was wearing. I think it's vinyl. It must have been so hot.

The face wrap? She talked about it. Yeah. I think she was so, she was very, very skinny and I felt like she was probably starving the entire production. You know what I mean? Yeah, she was, because it was like, I think it's just stretch shiny vinyl though, which is, and she had a corset over it though. Christopher Walken's sickening in that too. So funny. Max Shrek. I also love the scene where she's in the department store with the whip. You know she had to take real whip of him? That's real. That's a real take. Have you ever seen that TikTok? No. No.

It's like a, well, it's like a, it's on TikTok. It's her doing it. Yeah. She really did it. She really did it. Three in a row. Yeah. She really did. The production was like cheering when she got that take. How did she learn to do that? People learn. It's like your thing, you know. That looks really dangerous though. It is dangerous. You could poke your own eye out. Easy. Easy, easy.

Yeah. It's fierce. Does everyone gay want to whip? There's something about whips that's sexy. Well, whip cracks are like inherently gay for some reason. I don't know why. Yeah. I don't know why. Meatball did an eyeshadow palette with Hip Dot a couple years ago and one of the shades is called Whip Crack Dot MP3. That's even worse.

That's so real. That's so real. What is that? It's like, Oh, what is that? Last night at the show, Andrew said, Oh, just so you know, I'm forgetting her name in the show, but she's like, I kind of have her come out of retirement because she's a very famous pageant girl. And I forget who it was, but Andrew was like, I asked her to do this pageant number. You better believe she came out and did that. I'm every woman going into my lashes are this, my chicken. Cause I'm a true diva. Oh,

The whole thing. The whole thing. Fuck. It went over to the fat lady things. But it was all these kind of like muscly people who- They didn't really get it? It wasn't- Unless- Well, okay. Okay.

People with muscles. It's not that they don't know about drag, but real faggots. Yeah, they would they'll know they know the words to that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They know everyone's walking like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And I'm a drunk than everyone in the room. Yeah. At this point. And I'm going over to the fat lady sings. And then I go and like I was just it was it was just gratifying. I haven't heard that since like pre-COVID. OK. And it was sort of like the movies are back.

You know what I mean? The drag queens are back. Yes. Well, I haven't heard. I mean, I don't. That's. Yeah, that could be. That could have been one thing like a cultural thing that had gone away forever. Yeah. Like seriously, because those people could have died off during COVID. That song really is. It's. Oh, man. Drag queen dot mp3. That's the. That's what it is. Shit. Every drag queen has that number. Yeah. I've never done it. I've never done either. But it was always in the show. Either Lakia or Misery did it. And we were always in the dressing room going crazy.

Because it's so many whip cracks. It's like... And then there's sections where it's like... Like, what is that? I mean, I don't know. Especially also for bachelorettes who don't like have... They have no idea and they're not going to appreciate it. They want Katy Perry California girls with lollipops on the titties. They want I kissed a girl. It's so bizarre.

- By the way, I should mention, it's a little empty back here. One, the guests who are here are in the lobby, and two, check-ins not till four. - Three, I did diarrhea in the pool. We gotta get it drained. - Get on up. People don't know about the power of that song. I wonder when they made it, like, if they knew, whoever mixed that and added all those cracks. - Joella Pussy. - Oh. - Does that person work here? - You know about Joella Pussy? - What? They had a pink shirt on. - Yeah. Okay, oh. They could be fans, people who were... Do you see why he talks to me? - It's really abusive.

Car about look at David's leg. Can we talk about your leg? I know I know I'm sorry I don't mean to gaslight David because he is the one being abused. Do I come say hi come wave Show the boot should get the shoes baby get the shoes You should beat him to death with that boot David Hello feature the boot What do you have to say to your fans you're on HBO max now? Oh, yeah, congratulations, by the way Yeah, that's fierce

HBO Max is that's that's that's fierce. Well, I looked it up cuz I'm always crunching the numbers Discovery Plus of Everyone, okay, they surveyed everyone who has streaming services. Okay, nine percent of those people had Discovery Plus Okay, thirty nine percent of those people have HBO Max. So we basically have another premiere at a network four times the size But it's incredible. So it's great HBO Max is the shit. It's amazing. It's why I watch Batman Returns on plans It's the home of the Elantes Elantes watch me

It's the home. Watchman. David got drunk the other night and put it on in bed. He put it on in bed. Did you watch it? I said, I'll fucking watch this. Oh, yeah. I watched Dune. I got surround sound speakers. I watched Dune the other night. From start to finish. David put it on as a joke and I said, I'll fucking watch it.

Call my bluff. Did you love it? It's great. I mean, it's really good. Sí. Vigilantes. Zack Snyder. The director. Zack Snyder. Was this Spanish? Gabriel taught me that vigilantes is Watchmen. Okay, okay. You should watch it dubbed in Spanish. Maybe you should do all the languages. Well, I am fluent now. That's true. By the way, I was at my house the other day and David was gone and I had marijuana and I was like putting it in my finger and lighting it.

And I was like, I'm Walter White. I'm fucking Walter White. Although he never did drugs or yeah, he never did drugs or sell them. Once you start manufacturing method, you're in your little pool house back. Then we'll start talking about Walter White. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Well, what do you think? Do you like pump sprays?

Um, yeah, I like, I'm not like a big vacation person. I like my whole life to be a vacation. Do you know what I mean? I know. I know. I saw it coming. I was going to say, I was like, interesting. So what's the alternative working? You certainly don't do any of that. So you're so lazy that you won't go to work and you also won't even relax. No, no. Like I don't want to like, I don't, you know, like a getaway. I want my life to be the getaway.

Do you know what I'm saying? Well, I don't like going places for fun. No, I don't either. I don't either. It's stressful. David's always like, we should go on a vacation together. I'm like, we've been gone for months. Vacation is stressful. But we love Palm Springs, of course. We love the motel. But like, Peaches Christ has a wedding in April. Okay. And it's in Mexico. What dog is marrying that? There's a lid for every pond. Wait, is she getting married to what's his name? Ah!

Hi. Hi. Sorry, we're yelling. It's okay. It's not a convent. I know. It's a motel. People are sleeping. We make this so tranquil. It's 2 p.m. Oh, yeah. It's 2 p.m. Well, I'm hungover, so I'm thinking about sleeping. I've got to say, you handle a hangover very well. I'm impressed. Because you know what? There's no sympathy for people with hangovers. It's not polio.

You know what I mean? You can't be like, can you help me? I'm hungover. It's like, no, bitch, get up and get your life together. Yeah, I see what you mean. Ask David how much sympathy he gets when he has a hangover. Zero. Less than fucking nothing. I mean, he's legitimately injured and you're kicking that boot. Girl, this is what happened to him. You're kicking that boot. I saw it. Oh, he was injured the other day. I made him go all the way to Alhambra in California with me to pick up that bar, that leather bar on a broken foot. You are a...

You are a fucking... That's mean. Well, I don't have a license, so someone had to drive. Are you going to get a license? I am. You are. Are you scared to drive? I feel like I'm the only person in LA who's reasonably afraid of driving. Well, the reason you should be afraid of driving is because you're the one in the car. But also, when I drive with, like, Amy, Andrew, we know people who are wild drivers. I know. Wild. Wild and crazy. Brandon Lim drives very safe, but listens to, like, um...

Like, I don't know, like Lely Public Radio, that's classical music. You find that it's a bad thing? Well, it's like he, in the back seat, it's like a collection of items. And then like, you know, the car smells like marijuana. But then he's listening to like fancy rich music. Okay. And it's like the dichotomy of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's the marijuana smoke is like the most concerning part of that. Is driving on weed illegal? You're not supposed to do it, but there's no way to test for it. Oh, okay.

You know, like they can't, they're not going to pull you over and give you a piss test. Is that why LaGanche is always sort of like jumping off stuff because she can't drive. So she's like, I'm just have to leave. It's the most efficient way to drive. I have to pick up my prescription at CVS. Well, now I got to tell you, you live up in the mountains now. Do you feel like you're far from like CVS and all that? Well, we, there's a store up there.

There is a store up there. Is it one of those like, it's like good old, it's like borderline, like good old fashioned general stores. Um, it's a little, it's got the general store like charm, but it's an actual supermarket. It's actually pretty fierce. Um, but I'm not that far up there. Cause you, sometimes you go up there and you get really windy, windy, windy. And then you go through a gate and then it's like, if you needed to get skip town,

Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. You know what I mean? When we go to Vanderpumps, we have to remember how to get there every single time. It's the Pentagon. And also, sometimes those places, those stretches of the hills or whatever, don't have reliable reception. That's really scary. How do you call an Uber up there? Sometimes you can't. I've been in the hills and I'm the only person on the sidewalk.

And you just automatically, if you're not driving, you look very suspicious. Now your yard, you post pictures of your yard a lot. It looks like it's almost like an incline. Yeah. It's like down the mountain. It's a hill. So if you got a hang glide, do you think you could hang glide off the mountain? No, I could zip line though. We're thinking about doing either a zip line or a water slide to the street. Are you kidding?

Okay. But it would be, I mean, a zip line would be cool. It would actually be possible to the porch. You got to get a hot tub. Yeah, we're going to get a hot tub. One of those giant barrels. A cedar tub. Yeah, they look like big root beer barrels. Exactly. It's exactly that. But I was thinking about getting a cold plunge. What the fuck is that? It's the same thing except it's with like ice water. You want that? Well, do you know about the cocaine thing?

Okay, I've done cryo and so I know that it has like many. It has incredible, incredible like benefits to doing it. Good for hangover. Excellent for hangover, but excellent for everything. But the problem is you got to stay in that bitch for like 20 minutes.

I'll say this. Who's doing that? About drinking and cold. The only thing I miss in the winter, when you're hungover, stepping outside in the winter and having the cold air hit your face, it's revitalizing. Yeah, I'm sure a hot shower feels like shit. It does. So then being hungover, hot is not the move because you're dehydrated. Right. Your body's like, no, no, no, no. It's that Drake meme of like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think Drake is hot? I don't. There's men in Hollywood that I'm like. I don't.

These men who have these pussies blowing up. Oh, yeah. Pussies lined up out the block, down the block. Drake? I don't get it. But I don't get a lot of, like, there's some... By the way, not like, I'm not saying he's ugly. No, no, no. I'm not saying, like, heart throb, like I jerk off to him. Really? I think it must have something to do with the voice and the music then. You know what I mean? Well, that type of music obviously has a lot of, like, sex appeal to it. It's pussy juice music. Yeah. Yeah, it gets the juices flowing. Drip, drip. Yeah. They throw those bars in the studio and then it's drip, drip.

Rap is a world that is pretty much unknown to you. Yes, but but ever mystifying. Okay. Incredible. Yeah. You don't like any rappers? No, I like I listen to rap music sometimes. Missy Elliott, for example. Love her. Yeah. My mind can't even begin to wrap around like the production and the creation of like that type of music. Yeah. The closest thing I've ever seen is like one time I did a song with Todrick and I saw him like

He sent me a demo of him like tapping on a table and rapping along to it. And that's like how his songs start is like he kind of drums on a table and raps to it. And I know Bob will make up like verses kind of ahead of time and then perform them. That's how we get my bowel movements going. I tap on the table.

Sorry, sorry. People freestyle rapping? Oh, no. That's, I mean, that's like, yeah, it's crazy. It's like poetry. Poetic talent. Improv meets rap meets... Literature. Yeah. Like, I mean, you're like spontaneously producing poetry. Yeah. It's in the rhythm. And they're like, I love the bravado of it because these rappers get like, I mean, it's like, it's like those cheesy, like, I'm going to battle you with dancing. Oh, like eight mile. I'm going to battle you with literature. Like eight mile. Yeah.

Literature. When they're like, you're ugly, bitch, because you're ugly and you're standing here ugly, bitch. But it's good. You know? It's like sonnets and shit. Or they're like, this little, this. See, this is how hard it is. That's what I mean. My brain can't. This little bitch tried to scratch the itch. I feel so white saying this, but I'm like, rapping is amazing. Like it is. It is amazing. Yeah, it's like gymnastics, but with literature. And people love it.

The people who want to rap they wanted to wrap their whole lot. Yeah, they love it. It's cool I feel so I go through hell rapping. I love to rap honestly rap is fierce like Because I started DJing I started ripping like audios of rap songs like just the voice So then I have these acapella tracks of just rap like, you know, whap or like whatever. Yeah You know, and I'm like wow when you take with a music and you just listen to the words you like I

How do these whores remember the words? Yeah. Say them this fast. Yeah. My favorite rapper is probably Kaya. And she's got this song that's not very well known. She's obviously my neck, my back fame. Um, and that's her like big hit, but she's got a lot of other wonderful songs. And my favorite one is, it's called fucking me tonight. And she's talking about how you're going to be fucking me tonight. Cause my pussy is better than your bitches. And she says, um,

I don't ever want to leave you because I like the way you put it on me, how you lick down. Wait. Kiss my candy cane. Candy rain. Drip drop. Good to the last drop. Baby, talk to me. You know how my pussy smell. She really is going in. You never. I'm going to make sure you never want to go home because I'm a blow on your dick like a saxophone. Like things like that. Like that's fun. Yeah. Super fun. Really. Oh, and then cupcake. Cupcake.

Wow. You want to talk about creative, outrageous sexuality? It's amazing. I saved dick by giving it CPR. And that's why the gays like rap. They're like, oh, finally, my heart is being expressed. Yes. This like unbridled, like lewd sexuality. And she gets like cartoonish, literally. Garfield. Garfield.

Fat cat, fat pussy, Garfield. She calls her pussy cats Garfield? Yeah, like, her, she goes to places that, like, are, she goes to Disneyland with those sex lyrics. Yeah. It's so nasty. It's the creativity. It's so wild. It's so wild. But yeah, her songs are so, they get so gross. And they get, like, she veers into so many little nasty neighborhoods. It's really interesting. And the delivery. Yeah. It's also the delivery. Like, Bob did a TikTok recently that was like,

He did my rap from All Stars 3, and when I heard Bob do it, I went, it's actually not that bad. It's just me. Yeah!

I'm not good at that. But Bob, dude, I was like, oh, it sounds good. Yeah. No, it's well, yeah, it's the tarantula one, right? Yeah. And then I said, Bob, I called him and said, I can't tell if you're making fun of me. Because it was like a great poet once said, and then he performs it. Yeah. I said, I can't tell if you're making fun of it. But when you did it, I thought it was kind of good. He was like, I'm not making fun of you at all. And I was like, okay, good. Yeah, that's great. From a drag queen, an earnest compliment. I'm like, I saved dick by giving it CPR? By blowing it.

Wait a minute. The last podcast we talked about whether or not we like sucking dick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I still think about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still not sure. David, do I like sucking dick? You see his face? He's like, yeah, you do. It's taking all your energy to get your fucking nasty mouth off his dick right now, you bitch. My eyes when I'm sucking dick, I look like I just saw the deadlights. Pennywise. She saves dick by giving it CPR? When I come, I look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining frozen in the snow. I'm like...

Damn. I don't know if I, I don't think I'm like, I'm not really into having sex right now. Sex is tired. Yeah. It's corny. It's not as corny and tired and played out as drag. Yeah. But it's getting there. Sex and drag though are both kind of, they've now sex in drag. Maybe that's what I'm missing. It's a little like, you know, we keep adding sequels.

like to a great original movie yeah it's like well yeah oh i watched um i watched some marvel i think i already talked about this what did you which one i watched man of steel oh you didn't talk about that did you like it superman watching all these in spanish um when we were in spain i watched man of steel yeah did you like it i think superman is so boring i thought it was too i mean he is

Henry Cavill? Unbelievably hot and a great actor. He's a great actor. Yes. Everybody in it was acting their pants off Diane Lane. Oh, Diane. What is she doing in it? Right, Diane Lane? No, Amy Adams. No mom. Oh, Diane Lane is the mom. Yeah, Amy Adams is Lois. Yes. And everybody in it, Michael Shannon is the villain in the first one. Is he Lex Luthor? No, he's from Krypton. Oh, Krypton meth. Exactly. It was good. It was just, you know, it's just...

He's now he's I'm not interested in

Superhero movies that are an origin story because by the time there's a movie we know what we know where he comes from at least with Batman yeah, I was like think I'm not doing a fucking origin who cares right right right right who cares yeah? Yeah, so your mom got shot. Yeah, and you saw bats blah blah blah yeah big deal. Everybody's got problems Yeah, yeah, I mean that's true I don't I that's why I liked about Tim Burton's a Batman Returns cuz it was like Stylized also had a bit of humor in it the pink every penguin line is a zinger Do you know what I mean?

it's fabulous however that cat cat woman origin story is sickening oh yeah push out of a window push out of a window and then licked back to life she gives she saves dick by giving i think we got it i think we got hey come stay at the trixie motel we're booking spring i'll be doing my um youtube review of the room tomorrow morning after i uh rub my ass on all of the towels what are you staying in the yeehaw room it's pretty we picked the one for you that has a patio yeah for

We normally don't let people smoke in here. Yeah. So if you complain about the smoking tonight, it'll just be one night only. Scott's perfect breathing system. Yes.

It's God's perfect breathing system. All right. Bye. Bye, y'all.