#507 - We're Going To The Major Leagues
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The NBA playoffs are here, and I'm getting my bets in on FanDuel. Talk to me, Chuck GPT. What do you know? All sorts of interesting stuff. Even Charles Barkley's greatest fear. Hey, nobody needs to know that. New customers bet $5 to get 200 in bonus bets if you win. FanDuel, America's number one sportsbook.

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Yeah. Right. I am a padre, by definition. True. Because I am a dad. And Hispanic as well. And see, yeah. That's a layered thing that I said there. Listen, man, we have layered jokes here. Our comedy doesn't just hit the surface. It goes deep. It's like an onion. Well, now that you say that it goes deep, mine doesn't make sense. No way. It goes deep like an onion. Yeah. It has layers, sure, but like our comedy...

Like it goes deep. Like what's something that goes deep? Big penises in women. See, I didn't. In women. I didn't. I mean. They go in men. Can you really get that deep in there though? I don't know. This is a wild way to start. I mean, it's not even a minute in. How in God's name have we dug this hole for ourselves? How deep do you think a vagina is? Like let's just like get it out there. What's the ultimate max?

Just a guess. How deep can we get in there? I don't know, dude. I know how deep we can get in there. I'm not talking about us. We? Why are you? We're not talking about us. Why are we? We're talking about what's the absolute biological mass. Are we going by? What are we doing? I mean, it's biological, so we need to go centimeters. Oh, now you've lost me. Well, 2.54 centimeters is one inch. Okay. So how many sims?

So I would say... Because you could get stuff in there. I would say like 10 sims. Frankie. It's like five inches. No, is it? You think that's the ultimate? No, it ain't. No, it ain't. No, it ain't. It's like three. Yeah, no, no, no. It's more. It's at least 20. 20 sims. Yeah. That's like... I don't know if that's right. That's like, what, eight? What's the ultimate depth? That's...

It's not five inches. That's absurd. I feel like we should pay more respect and we should go by another unit of measurement, not CMs or inches, like fathoms or something. What's fathoms? It's fathoms. You guys know fathoms. You know fathoms, right? I know what the word fathom means, but I don't know as a unit. Like 20,000 fathoms, 20,000 leagues under the sea, and there's fathom. A fathom. We're pirates now? I mean, you know, I feel like a woman's...

is it should be spoken of in more reverence than just something like inches and CMs and stuff like that. Who's being disrespectful? I'm saying biologically, how far does it go? First of all, we've already established that I speak for women on this show. Okay. And I'm telling them, I'm telling you, not them. I don't tell them. I tell them too. He's being disrespectful. I don't even know what you're saying.

What is a fathom? It is a unit of measurement. I know that. But to who? Shakespeare? I think to like Moby Dick or someone. Well, that's the whale. That is the whale. Captain Ahab is the guy who might use fathoms. I don't know what that is. I would say like eight inches is like the, like, but like, there's like. Do you have an answer? I have an answer. I know. I don't think it's eight. I think it's more. I think it's like, you've been to the lake house, right?

How are you going to make it a comparison? The end of the lake house, when you, have you ever gone kayaking all the way at the end of the lake house? Yeah. You know how it's like the water, it comes to like an air and then it like further goes more like a brook. So maybe it's just like, it's like vagina. And then it's just like, there's like pathways in the back to a point alleyways in the back. It comes to a point. I don't know if point is the right word. I don't really know what that is. A Delta is the opening of a river. I think into the, yeah, into the sea.

Crazy we know that. I mean, I wonder if women even know the answer to this. I think it's an interesting question. I would think that they would know better than us. Sure. But like, if you asked me a question, a biological question about a penis, I'd be like, well, because I think

Maybe is there a mostly uniform answer for women's vagina? Because men's pee-pees are... Yeah, they're different. There's difference, okay? Some minor differences, some major differences for some of us. Right, some of us. Some of us. Don't do that. Don't do that. I'm itchy. Yeah, all right, I'm sure. But is it like a...

So there's like an answer of like a roundabout. It's an average. It's an average. I'm going to say... I'm going to say eight. I'm going to say 11. Whoa, dude. That's a half a foot. That's a... You're in belly button territory now. Oh, I was talking about inches. Oh. Yeah, it's... I'm saying 11 inches. I actually was talking... That's a foot. That's about a foot. You're in belly button territory. Wait, you were saying what? I was saying eight. Eight inches? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. What do we got? It's...

Okay. Sexual arousal. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sexual arousal. Oh, so it can expand a little bit, but it reaches depths of about 4.7 inches. No, it doesn't. Sexual arousal? This thing is just like fucking, like pulling like a, it's like a, it's like. You okay there, buddy? Wait, that's like a fucking rabbit in a hat, in a magician's hat and shit like that? We're talking about like.

In? Yeah, depth. That's not true. Depth, that's what it says. Certain people are different. It could pretty much max go up to seven, but that's rare. It can't be true. I am opting to believe it because-

That's why I don't think that's true. I mean, then how? Bro, I mean, let's just like seriously, like how? Bro, how? How? Like, you know, with with like maybe maybe it's kind of like one of those avenues that like turns into a different avenue like random. Yeah. Like at the end of like I-95, it becomes like Route 386. Exactly. Like maybe that's like, oh, that's that's that's. Yeah. Maybe after a while, it's no longer the vagina. And now it's like now we're now we're now we're in different territory. I'm talking about full depth. Dude, to be clear here. Right. Right.

We've all seen a bit of porn in our lives. Those dudes don't have four-inch penises, and their penises are all the way in there. They're in there. That's what I'm saying. So it can't be four. At what point does it become like you're making a new hole in there? I don't think that's posse. Well, I imagine if it's a finite amount of space and stuff got to go in places, what happens?

It's really just a miracle organ, kind of. Here's the thing. I think that it could just do it all. It could just do it all. I mean, it is. It is. As someone that is... I'm not trying to blow smoke up anybody right now. In anyone's vagina? I'm not trying to blow smoke up your vagina. What an amazing thing. What an amazing thing. Really, really cool. Cool? Frank, we are beyond cool. I mean, really sick. We're...

I mean, really sick. I mean, like, what are we talking about? Bro, that's the closest thing that we have to magic. It's a portal. It is a life-creating portal. Like, you only see those in, like, video games, dude. Bro, see, now I have this at least once a year where I'm like, how are we doing that? How's that happening? How are they doing that? Bro, and it fucks you up. Once you experience your partner having children...

It's like, that came out of that. That's like, yo, you were there and like you were nothing and then she made you something with this? And then you grow tall. And then you grow this and these and these. And he looks like you. And this. But at ease. Sometimes, you know, obviously. And I always think about how like...

A baby is born and it's got that stuff. It's already got it all. It doesn't have it all. I mean, but it's in there. It's in there to get it all. If I just got to the earth and then you put a naked woman in front of me and you're like, a baby comes out of there, where does it come from? That's like bottom three places I'm going to guess. That's number one place. Well, if you didn't know anything about birth. Bottom three places? Their toes? Immediately I would say mouth. I don't know. Sure, yeah. You know...

Like, right? Like, every person you know was grown in another person. What the hell was... What do you think? Yeah, what do you know, fucking Mr. Bio? It's just, aren't there new ones that don't need to be made in a person?

Aren't there what? What the hell does that even mean? What the hell are you saying? Oh, I hear what he's saying. Are you talking about like C-sections or something? No, no, no, like a lab one. Aren't there lab ones now? He's talking about there are no lab humans. If there are, there's one, and it's Elon Musk. I don't know about anyone else, though. He does look like he spends a lot of time in water. I will say that. His chest is way too puffed up. Yeah, why is he built like that? I don't know. What's the whale in SpongeBob? Pearl? It's kind of like that. It's kind of. Oh, no, he's built like Larry the Lobster.

Yes. That's who he's built like. That works too. I mean, minus the muscle. I don't know. Don't hit us, Elon. Minus the color. And the color. He's very white. He is quite white. Quite white. Yeah. It's crazy. Women and like that whole fucking process is legit magic, dude. It's magic. And I refuse to see it as anything else. We just call it science because we don't want to call it magic because it'll freak out people. It's magic. Also, like, what does Thor say?

From your world, it's called magic. From mine, it's called science. That was my Chris Hemsworth Thor impression. That wasn't bad, right? That was Thor 1. I believe it came out in 2000. I want to say 11. No, that was First Avenger. Right. 2010, it might have been. Spend time working this out. He was talking with Natalie Portman's character, Dr. Jane Foster. I was kidding. The last minute I haven't cared about. Directed by Kenneth Branagh. Just want to throw that out there.

esteemed thespian dude awarded thespian Kenneth Branagh who I think holds the record for playing Hamlet the most

You know Kenneth Branagh. Let's take a poll of the room about who cares. Hands up if you give a shit. You know why you care about Kenneth Branagh? Because he played that horny guy in the wheelchair in Wild Wild West. That's two weeks of Wild Wild West mentions. First of all, I don't even remember there being a horny guy in a wheelchair. The wheelchair that turns into the spider with the swirly twirly mustache. Where he's like, oh, and he punches him and he's like, and he spins around. Do your impression of a guy in a wheelchair again.

I'm not doing an impression of a guy in a wheelchair. I'm doing an impression of Kenneth Branagh in Wild Wild West, who just so happened to be in a wheelchair that also became a spider. Your brain can do so many things. It really can. Not more things than the vagina, though. That's right. The vagina's amazing, and it's definitely deeper than four inches. Let's get that out of the way. He's trying to convince himself. He said 12. I know. Yeah. Bro. 12, bro. You'd be in there. There'd be room for a fucking furniture in there. I'm not saying that, like...

It's just 12 all the time. You said during sexual arousal, they're like, what is that? They open up the mouth of a predator? Foreplay, you open up a little bit. Don't make hand gestures. You can't do that, Ant. During foreplay, you open up a little bit. I didn't do anything. During foreplay, you open up. You can definitely find ways to open it. It's crazy.

Now I'm confused. That looked like you opened pants and then put something in the pants. I did. You want to know? In my head, I put grapes in there. Don't ask why. In where? The pants. You put grapes in the pants? Yeah. I'll say this. This is weird, but now I'm really thinking about it. If I had tight underwear on and you filled them with grapes, I feel like that would be a nice feeling. You'd be pumped. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I don't absolutely want to.

Put grapes in your pants. Do like roll around in grapes. Like all those people that stomp grapes and they're like, I can't get them all. Dude, how? You're a human? Use your feet to fuck up these grapes. You just said all those people. I have never heard anyone say that. What are you consuming? I've seen videos of people stomping grapes. And they're all like, I can't get all the grapes. Yeah, because there's a lot of grapes.

Bro, put me in a vat of grapes. I'm going through that vat in two minutes tops. You're just going to stomp around? Hell yeah. You're going to tell me you wouldn't stomp grapes with me. Hell yeah. There's got to be a vineyard somewhere in the metropolitan area, whether it be Long Island, Jersey. I think I told you, but in Portugal, they have a wine that is only stepped on by women. I was like, that's good. It says it on the menu, women stepped only. There's a lot of tea...

specifically white tea, that the tradition is that it's only picked by virgin Chinese women. I'm not saying I agree with that. You can't even have a cup of tea without all this. Without sex being involved, dude. Or we can't have a glass of wine without being like, oh, feet. Come on. Well, I mean, you've had wines that you have described as farty. First of all, the waitress said that. What if...

I got it. Big business Frank is back. I already know what you're about to say. Big business Frank is back. A vineyard and all of the wine has been crushed by vaginas. You okay? Yeah. How does one crush a grape with their vagina? So like they'll put it in underwear and then like run against the wall or something.

And you're going to sell this to... The method in which it is being done, I might not have down-packed. But the idea... Bro, people are making beers with their... This is crazy, by the way, that I'm saying this. Yeah, you're fine. They're making beers that are made with the yeast, like vaginal yeast and shit like that. Yeah. Are they? Yeah, there was a streamer that did that a couple years ago. Okay.

Ant's face of such defeat knowing he has to look up vagina wine. Vagina beer. Yeah. I think. And it doesn't necessarily need to be like vagina crushing. But like if it's like you're going to tell me, bro, it's going to happen. What? Because we have other stuff that we wanted to talk about this episode where like this is most likely going to happen where it's like this wine, all the grapes were crushed under the weight of Jennifer Aniston sitting on them. You think that's not going to happen? Sure.

I mean, I don't think specifically. Maybe not specifically Jennifer Aniston. She does well for herself. She probably doesn't need that. I think that it might be harder to crush grapes efficiently in that way. By sitting on them? But just getting a bunch of women to stomp the grapes like you normally would. They have stomping parties. Do they? No, at this vineyard. That's what they said. The girl who was giving us the tour was like, they have...

They have like parties. So it's like at midnight, like after everything. And they just like drink wine. They stomp the grapes. I'm like, that sounds fire. What do they have to do when they have to pee? Go to the bathroom. Yeah. But like, how do they get out and then get back in? They're covered in grape juice. Their feet are. Yeah. So what do they get out and walk to the bathroom and then come back? I imagine there's some like foot prep. Hose off. But like if it's a very sought after grape, then you're losing that grape juice.

Maybe they can hold it. I don't know how long... That's such a weird question to even ask. I don't think they're peeing into the grapes, if that's your concern. I... You might have just opened up a new business because you know that there are people that are going to be pumped about that. These are grapes that were stomped by women and then men pissed in them. So... Well...

Don't know about that. But you know what I do know about? What do you know about? Basement Yard Boys are back on tour, baby. We're back. The Basement Yard is... Well, we're not back yet. Well, we're close. We're on the close. We're on the close. We're on the close. We're going there. We're going back. We're opening up in Kansas City and St. Louis over in Missouri. Yeah. They say it differently out there. Missouri-a. That's what my... Let me guess. Your dad said that. Your dad just... No. Not my dad. My...

My history teacher from like 7th grade used to say Missouri and Victoria and Winder, Soder. Are you better off for having known that now, Ant? You don't get to do that. You just said that whole thing about I don't even remember. I get to do it. What did I say? I have no idea. That's how pointless it was. Oh, you were talking about West!

Wild Wild West was a good movie. It's really not that good. He was making fun of people in a wheelchair? He did. No, don't do that! I didn't make fun of anyone in wheelchairs. No, I didn't. I was just making sure.

No, no, no. But yeah, we're back. We're back. We're back at it. For those of you guys that have not seen, go check it out. You can get tickets to the shows. There are some shows that still have tickets available. Go to TheBasementYard.com. We're very excited. Yeah. You know, going to cities that we didn't do last year, returning to some cities that we did do last year. Uh-huh. And then a lot of people have been asking about the New York show. Deets are coming.

Listen, we're cooking. Okay. We're ordering the groceries. You get what I'm saying? More stuff that you're creating on the spot. I could tell. So go check it out. And then if you are coming to any of those shows, go to thebasementyard.com slash submit a portion of the shows. We like them to be interactive. We like to talk to you about you with you or people that you know. It's like, it's fun.

What? Say that every time. We like to talk with you, about you, at you, or whatever you say. Well, it's true. Because some people also don't like that. Some people are like, I want to tell the story, but keep me anonymous. We won't ask for it. And you could be kept anonymous. Do you say talk at you? Or do I make that up? With you, about you? No, I said with you, about you, and to you. I think at was in there. I don't think so. I think you just threw at in there, and now you're trying to gaslight me. I could have. I don't know. I don't know about the gaslighting.

Do you think that's overused in today's society? Gaslighting? I never really use it. I'm back on manipulate. Oh, you're back on that. You've given up on gaslighting. Yeah. I'm just like, I'm not going to use that. I only use it in like a joking way. Gotcha. Well, let's, I only say it to you, but like, I'll just say, I'd rather say manipulate. Never say that to me. Roll the tape. I'm sure there's a fucking joke is that I just did it.

That's the joke. That's the joke. And you did it. Remember I told you about how deep our comedy goes? That's seven inches. Deeper than four inches or whatever the fuck. Would you say a max seven? Fuck yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so go check it out at TheBasementYard.com slash submit. I'm excited. Yeah. And we're going to Missouri. Never been there. Never been to Missouri. No. Excited to go there. I've heard things. I can't even. I don't know. But I'm excited. I'm excited. Apparently the barbecue.

Gonna have to do that. We're gonna have to. Gonna have to do the barbecue. If there is, if a city is known for barbecue, daddy's, daddy's up and up that cholesterol score. You know what I'm saying? Frank's gonna chew on a bone. That was crazy. That's not even. You could have said it any other way. I don't even know what I meant to say. Frank's gonna take your meat.

Also a bad way to say it. You know that was worse than what I said. No, honestly, I didn't. Chew on a bone is way better than take your meat. Yeah, there are worse ways to have said it. But oddly enough, we are going to San Diego. That's our second trip. The boys. We're getting called up. We're getting called up from...

a 14 year old league was the last time we played baseball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also last year we had our, we are stint in the minors. Oh, we had a stint in the minors. We threw a first pitch for the Bowie Bay Sox. Yep. Thank you. And those pitches went so well.

There were scouts there and we didn't know that. There were scouts. We clearly forgot how many scouts were there. Right. And then we got the call up to the show this year, as they say. Exactly. And now the San Diego Padres reached out to us and they were like, you guys want to throw out the first pitch? And I was like...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do, dude. I'm going to burn this one in there. So I can confirm that I have at least been doing stretches. I need to have a better showing last year. This is the majors now. We don't know who could be watching. We do know. But we don't know. There are some players that might be there and just be like, yo, these guys legit give him an at-bat. I'm trying to – well, we're going to be throwing a pitch. I know. I know.

But, like, maybe they'll see us and be like, if you could throw so well, maybe you could also hit real well. That's what they're going to do. That's what they're going to think, I think. I'm hoping for that, like, rookie of the year moment where I just throw a burner and they go, whoa, let's give this guy, like, a look. Wait, so just to be clear. Yeah. You want to leave your current position to become a Major League Baseball pitcher. Closer, Frank. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. So you want to...

Make your life significantly harder than what it currently is. I don't want to be the closer. I want to be a closer. You know? Well, closer is a... Closer is... You could be a setup man. You could be a middle reliever, long reliever. Yeah. But, like, I'll mostly just eat seeds. You know what I mean? So, you know what? I want to hang in the dugout with the other guys and just munch seeds. Yeah. And just...

You know how in the dugout there's people around. Spittle over the field. You know what I mean? Spitting seeds in nature, if it's not littering...

Is sick. In nature is hilarious. But yeah, the Padres are really hooking it up and we've never thrown out a first pitch at a major league baseball game before. And this is like insane. Yeah. Super huge honor. We, we are really, really excited. So shout out to the Padres. And if you're in the area, come through the game, dude, come through the game. I don't know where we're going to be sitting, but I will say this. It is. You have our permission to buy Frank hot dogs. Hold on. Do they, they have our permission for that?

I'm just, first of all, it's Straw Hat night. Psyched about that. So pumped, dude. I'm not even kidding. If I get a Straw Hat, I'm going to scream. Chances are we're getting a Straw Hat. Should. But yeah, it was, when we did it with the Bay Sox, they were like, that was so fun. So we are so excited for this. Like, it's just, it's, it's insane. Like you grow up watching, we grew up massive baseball fans and like ESPN always covers like, oh, look at this first pitch.

We have an opportunity here. We do. We do. I think, like, right now, I want to burn one in there. I think, but. But. But. But. But. But. We could do something cooler than that. We could throw a horrible pitch, and that'll be on ESPN. We could. Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website, to marketing, to selling, and beyond,

Also, like, do something like Simone Biles will go out there and do a flip and then throw a pitch. Right. We could go out there. I'll get on your shoulders. What if we pitch this to the Padres?

What if we had them set up a desk with two mics and we throw the first pitch, like, from this angle? Two on the nose. Two, two, two, two. Two on the nose? Ooh, do-do-do, do-do. What if...

I get on your shoulders, right? And then they get a catcher, and then the other catcher gets on his shoulders. And we throw at the same time to each of the catchers. Right. That's not a bad idea. That's a horrible idea, but I kind of like it. Yeah, no, no, no. Let's just be clear. I'm not confident I can hold you on my shoulders. Do you think they do any flyovers that we jump out of a plane and land on third base or something? That's a good question, one that I thought about quite a bit. I think the answer is yes.

Ooh, or maybe they have an eagle that flies around. Let's be very clear about something. The food is going to get demolished. Oh, God, the food. I've looked up the food. I looked it up, too. There is some—we're going to eat well. I haven't been—I just went to a baseball game. I haven't gone to, like, that many in my life. I mean, I have, but, like, I guess I haven't indulged in this part of the baseball experience in a while.

Bro, the desserts at baseball games. They know what they're doing. They are stepping it up. They know what they're doing. I don't know who they're hiring for this type of thing, but... I mean, a lot of... I mean, we did a whole Patreon episode about baseball stadium food. I know. I've never seen any of that in the... In the wild. In the real life. In the flesh. In the flesh. It's become like a... Like, now it's like...

A big thing. Before it was just like you have a guy walking around screaming at you with hot dogs wrapped in foil that are probably mush at this point. Yeah. Now you could get like a fucking Wagyu cheeseburger. Right. Usually you go to a game, you get Cracker Jacks, you get, you know, cotton candy, a soda, a hot dog. You go home and you have diarrhea. But like now they have like really good stuff. Now you go, you get like three hot dogs. Yeah. And. Well, yeah, some of us still get diarrhea. But that could be because of the amount of hot dogs.

Careful. Absolutely be careful. I don't like the way... I'm just... I think we... And I can speak on both of our behalf here. We took... We were... We had a lot of fun with...

The Maryland game with the Bowie Bay Sox game. Okay? We need to take this serious. This is a huge step. This could be SportsCenter, den-a-net, den-a-net. You know what I'm saying? Like in the top ten plays of the day. Or the top ten plays of the day. Right. It could be such a boring day across sports. Should I throw a knuckler? I don't think anyone calls it that. I think we have a real cool opportunity here. And we need to hit this out of the park. What pitch are you going to throw? The only one I can.

Four seam? Yeah. What do you think I'm throwing? You think I... Bro, if you think I could throw anything other than a four seam... Throw a cutter. I'm just going to Google it. I think you could throw a cutter. It's probably not that hard to throw a cutter. I threw a cutter once in my entire life. A good cutter is probably hard. That's the only pitch I've ever thrown with movement.

And our boss taught me how to throw it, oddly enough. I've thrown a lot of pitches with movement, but the movement is usually when the batter hits the ball and it moves pretty far. Yeah, you know what? You're right. Most pitches I've thrown that have movement, the movement is from my hand into the ground. The movement is me to the dugout because I've been pulled by the coach. Yeah, I was put in to pitch one game in my entire time playing baseball as a kid. Really? Yeah.

Yep. It was when I played for the Elm Jack White Sox in Pony. There you go. I did so happen to have a custom White Sox jersey, which was the ultimate try-hard thing to wear to my games. Checks. Yeah. Was this a start, or were you like in the mid? No, start. Oh, you started this game. So you got how far through this? How many outs? Four batters. Four batters? Were they all hit home runs? Go ahead. I walked every single one of them.

I walked every single one. That's it. And guess how many pitches I threw in total? Say 16. It was 16. So four straight walks. Literally after the third walk for the last batter, my coach came out and he was just like, just like you're playing toss. So I just started throwing like I was playing toss and I still walked them.

It wasn't good. Their coach was probably like, nobody swing. I mean, yeah. Why would you swing? Yeah, why would you swing? I don't think we won that game. But we had a fun time doing it. Maybe you did. No, no, I didn't. I'm sure your teammates were. I was very upset.

You know I've never hit a home run in my life? Pathetic. It doesn't matter, though, because I'm throwing out a first pitch, and I'm burning that pitch. Yeah. Hey, to our friends over at the San Diego Padres. And they had sick jerseys, too. They sent us these jerseys, which you know me. This is my third Padres jersey. Yeah. And my second Padres hat. Mm-hmm.

Second. But, uh, we really appreciate it. We're really excited to be out there. Guys, if you're coming, it's the game on July 9th, I believe. Mm-hmm. Uh, it's, um, the game against the Diamondbacks. See us. Go to a baseball game. We're Padres fans. Have a hot dog. We're excited. We hope you're excited. Thank you to our friends at the Padres. And, uh, we'll see you in San Diego. San Diego. Uh, we do have some sponsors to get. Uh, we have some sponsors to get to. Uh,

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I mean, we should probably talk about the fact that Sydney Sweeney is selling her bathwater via soap. Yeah. Which I, can I say this? Genius. A lot of people talk this shit on the internet being like, oh, I would love to buy your bathwater. Fucking pony up. Where's the bread now? Well, hold up. Here's the thing is I could see both sides of the argument.

I where I what I truly believe is like you know what girl fucking good for you exploit these fucking losers that are gonna buy this shit whoa with the losers now we're judging Joey I hold on hold on

First of all, it released and sold out already. Duh. It was like a thousand bars. I got two bars on the way. Shut the fuck up. Oh my God, dude. See what I mean by losers? That would have been awesome though. I tried. I tried. Did you really try? Just for the story, right? Yeah, I tried. You're not like, cause see, then you're the outlier. Most of the people that are buying this are fucking losers. Yeah.

Wow. Sorry. I said most. So if it's you that bought this, maybe I'm not talking about you. Not you. The other people. What a great way to say this. But like, they're not buying it for soap. They're buying it for being horny. Yeah. If I did get it and brought it in, you'd smell it.

I mean, yeah. So I'm also convinced like, did she really get in a bath? So apparently she took a bath and then like they just used the water in the soap mixture. Yeah. That's hilarious. Honestly, like I said, this is a great idea. Good for her. For fucking...

Like, here's the thing. I'm going to get on my soapbox for a sec. Okay. You ready? These fucking companies are sexualizing her and profiting off of her sexuality anyways, so she's able to strike a deal where she could fucking profit off of that shit. Yeah. Good for her. Good for her. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you're going to talk all that shit on the internet, like, oh, I'd buy your bathwater. Let's see, bro. Be honest for a second now. Get that soap out. The people that bought this. Yeah. What? Losers, right?

I don't know. Like, good for her. But, like, I don't know. I don't know these people. Would I buy someone's bathroom? I know. For comedy, though. For comedy, though. Are they losers? You know what I'm saying? All right. Joey's taking the, you know... Oh, Joey's taking the king. Oh, I don't know if we can talk about that. Now, all of a sudden, forgive me for calling these people losers. Let me ask you this. They're not doing it to get soap. They're doing it because they're just...

Like this is their way of being like sexually connected to Sydney Sweeney. How many? That's weird. How many bars? I think they only made like a thousand bars. A thousand bars? Ant. Ant's like, yeah. He's pretending like he doesn't know exactly. How many of those people do you think bought it as like a joke? 150 people. I think there's definitely people out there that are like, I need this thing and I need to chew on it. I can imagine. What? I don't know. Listen.

I don't think there's anyone on the planet. Becca is so hot to me, but if she was like, here's a cup of my bathwater, I'd be like... Like, what am I supposed to do? Drink this? A cup's a lot. That's weird. What'd you say? A cup's a lot. A shot? That's better. Definitely better than a cup, yeah. There was a streamer that did this. How much money to drink a shot of my bathwater? Not enough. What's not enough? I haven't even said in the movie. No, I want to drink more. No, I'm kidding.

That is not enough money. No, I'm kidding. Honestly? Yeah, yeah. Who's paying? You or, like, the people? What does that mean? Because I'll probably lowball them, but I want more money from you. I don't even know how to interpret that. No. But, like, if, let's just, yeah. There's, like, a cash amount that will appear. $100,000. All right, but let's be realistic about something. Okay. It is a shot. Okay. And you wouldn't take it if there was $50,000 cash. Let me make something very clear. $50,000 cash? What?

Let me be something very clear. Like a window pane. Or a windshield. Let me be abundantly clear here. Yeah. The internet thinks that we are gaga for each other's balls right now. You did that. Me? Yes. No, I did not. Frankie. Joey. Francis. How have I done this?

Because you do this thing where you're over there and you do this and then you say stuff. I mean, that's playing up a character. I'm not actually—I have no sexual feelings toward you. That doesn't help. I know it doesn't help. But if I— We won't do it on the show, but $50,000 cash for a shot? I would do yours. You'll do mine? For 50 Gs? For 50 Gs. No, I'm not doing under 75. Bro, I would do it probably for less than that. Not doing under 75. I would do it for less than 50. 10.

You're doing 10, brother. I'll do it for 10. He would easily do it for 10. Yeah, they're drinking like chimpanzee piss. He heard shot. He was like, I'll do it. I don't. I can't. I can't because I wouldn't be able to. I would throw up. And it would probably just taste like water. Yeah. No. Why not? Bathwater. Now, what are we talking? How long is the soakage? Because that's a legitimate question here.

Like, is it just like I get in, I get out? Or am I like taking a... No, no, you gotta steep. You gotta steep like tea. Yeah. What's the steeping time? A bath. Like you gotta like... Bro, you've taken a bath and you've... With no soap or anything. 20 minutes. And you've stood up. That water's cloudy, my man. Wait, what?

If I've gotten in a bath and you've sat in there for 40 minutes, that water's not coming out clear. 40 minutes. That's a long bath. I've taken long baths. Yeah. I don't know if I've done 40 minutes. I've taken some fun, like long baths. I don't know why fun was in there. I've taken some fun baths with toys. I've taken some fun baths. But it's the water's coming out cloud. I'll say 20 minutes.

But you have to figure some of that tastes like a soap or something. No, I just said no soap. Oh, just get in and just chill? Yeah, dude. All right, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I would honestly, like, if someone had $15,000 in cash, I would do it. That's bananas. I'm not doing it for anything under $75,000 because... That's so wild. Because, one, it's your money. I'll take it. I'll take it. Right. I'll believe you. I thought you were like, you want more of my money, but, like, strangers who you don't know, you don't want theirs. Like, you're going to give them a deal.

Yeah, well, they're kind. What am I? No, no, no. Obviously, I'm joking. Not a penny under 60. You see how I chopped 40% off of this price already? I feel like you could go on down. No, no, no. I'm standing firm. It's someone you know, at least. Yeah. That's worse, dude. It's not worse. It's way worse. I'm doing it. Because every time I see you, I'm going to have to think I tasted you.

Jesus. That's why it's miserable. I mean, I'm not thinking about it like that. That's like a very weird... I wouldn't be like, yo, I tasted you. That's the way it is, though. So if I drank your bathwater, you'd walk in here like, yo, you've tasted me, you little bitch. No, I wouldn't throw it in your... No, I wouldn't do that. But like, for instance, if you were to have...

A cup of coffee from a company. Yeah. If someone were to say like, oh, this company. Oh, I've had their coffee. You know, like... Yeah. I've had their food. I've been to their... You know him. But I don't think that's going to come up in conversation like, oh, you know Frank? Yeah, yeah. I've had his bathwater. It's not going to come up. I think...

Not a penny under $60. But even if someone asks, you'd be like, why'd you do that? You're like, oh, I got 20 racks. You'd be like, oh, all right. Yeah. You went up to $20? What was I at? I think you said $15. All right. Crazy. Would you do it for $100? No. No. I wouldn't eat anything for $100. You wouldn't eat a steak for $100? Well, that I would eat for $100. So there you go. So then what if that steak was sloppy with bathwater? Sloppy is a slob. You know that's coming. No. No.

No, we're talking about, like, you know, thousands of dollars here. But I would much rather do yours than a person who I don't know. I am shocked you haven't at least thought about the idea of selling your bathwater. That's shocking to you? Yeah, I mean, you could, you'll do well for yourself. You don't think you could sell some bathwater over there? Not nearly as much as you. Regardless.

Whether that's true or not, we don't know. I think the reality of the situation, and I'm not like baiting people to be like, no, let's drink Frank's bathwater. I think that you would probably just have a more marketable bathwater. It's all about pricing, baby. Fair. It's all about pricing. But if we price ours at the exact same amount, $50 for a pint. Whoa, a pint.

Yeah. Bro, you could take four baths a day and you could make... What the hell are you talking about? You could sell that? Take four baths a day? Yeah. I'd be all pruney. That's fine. But you could market them as different stuff. So this is like the morning batch. You know how coffee roasters will be like, this is our exclusive roast. Someone's creating a marketing deck over there. You need the after workout batch. Yeah, of course. You need that one. You can do a morning brew.

You know? Oh, God. Now when you say it like that, it's disgusting. You could do a post-workout, you know, recovery brew. Post-workout shake, yeah. Yeah. Then you could do like a dinner and then like a late night. A dessert. A dessert one where you throw like Epsom salt in there. Right. Although you probably shouldn't drink Epsom salt. How much realistically? If I had a shot, I'm asking you now because $75,000 is insane. All right. A shot?

of Frank's bathwater for $8,000 cash. Cash? Cash. Untraceable. Not on camera. Not on camera? No. Yeah, I'll do that.

What about on camera? Bananas. I would want a couple, a little more. Okay. A little more. Like 95? Come on, you could work with me. You could get to 10. So 10, 10. Yeah, yeah. 10, 10 seems like a good number. Even though I feel like he would hold it over me more than you. So that's why I need a little more. Right. Yeah. That's true. I mean, no, if you in confidence did it. Yeah, he would use it and he was like, cut people with it.

No. You drank me. No, no, no, no, no, no. I would, if it happened off cameras, in confidence, no one would ever know about it. I would be a steel trap. Okay? But if you did it on an episode. No. No. No. See, this is not, this is a little. Why is he shaking his head yes and I'm saying it? He doesn't know me. Whoa, dude. Well, don't look at me now.

In a heated argument, Frankie would definitely go, why don't you just go drink my bath water? No. 100%. No, I would not. There's way more of a chance of you saying that than me. When was the last time you argued with me? I am very... That's our job! We're doing it now! In a serious setting. I'm not saying you would. I'm saying there's just more a chance. Sure. One in a billion, one in a billion point one. Whatever helps you sleep, baby. I figured as well. He's going to need an extra 2,000.

Frankie, I'm just trying to get more. What about this? And you know what? I support you. And you know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would bring it up. Just trying to get more. Go, go, go, go, go. Oh, yeah. Because we're doing this. Apparently. No, we're not doing this. All I wanted to say about this was that... The Sydney Sweeney. Now we're back on that? The Sydney Sweeney. We're back on the Sydney Sweeney thing. Good for her. How much was the soap? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think it was like $8 a bar or something like that. Oh, that's a steal. Good for her for getting the bag. Good for her...

The people that are buying this, if you legitimately told me, like, I'm a huge fan of Sidney Sweeney and I bought it. Because there are people out there, that's what most of the people buying it are. We don't know that, though. You're right. We're assuming. You're right. I think a lot of people, I think you'd be like...

Like, I think it would be funny if we... That's why I was excited when you said you got two bars. I tried. I was like, that would be funny to have. It was easier to get the Switch than the... Like, I'm not going to get the thing... Because there was only like a thousand made of this soap, though. Yeah, it was very hard. It's harder to get this soap. Like, I'm not saying I'm excited to get it because I want to smell it and gnaw on it. But I think if you were to ask me, based off of who she is in pop culture, she's known as like a good-looking... She's a sex icon. Yes. Yes.

I think it's a fair assumption to make that I will say 80% of the people that are buying these bars of soap are doing it with like sexual gratification in mind. That's crazy. Do you think that you really think that's unfair? I just think there's no way to tell. Yes, Joey. I know you're taking like a legitimate approach. I'm for the sake of

I mean, I think that like there's an equal... He he's ha ha's for the sake of that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why people would buy it. I just don't know. I mean, how do we measure something like this? Do we have the proper synergistic methods of measurement? Fucking business guy over here, bro. It's crazy. I feel like we flip flop the personalities on this episode. It's bananas. I'm saying, I'm saying I'm not ready to say that there wasn't a lot of people that bought that. I was like, this is going to be a funny thing or like,

I think a more realistic is like people bought it because they know they could resell it. Now, the resale market, that might be $90,000. I wonder. Google that. Google that. Google the resale markets. It's in between $80 and $150 a bar.

And that's lower than I thought it would be. I honestly was expecting in the threes. I think the people need to get the bar first because they have to, you know, it's kind of they're selling the pre-sale. You know what I mean? Gotcha. Yeah. Create some distance from the whole thing. Here is, what does it smell like? You think it smells like legs? I'm so glad you brought that up. Boobs? The scent that it has on the thing. First of all, can I just listen? Are they a sponsor? They were. Dr. Squatch? Yeah.

First of all, this is a genius thing that they're doing. Let's just get that out of the way. They probably pitched her on it and be like, yo, it's like a tongue-in-cheek type of thing. And be like, it would be funny if you did this. And she was just like, fuck yeah, let's do it. She's like, I've worked on cars. Ooh, is it like post-working on a car? Because she's like a mechanic, isn't she? So whoever wrote the blurb for it, it says the perfect combination of the two best places on the planet, the outdoors and Sidney Sweeney's bathtub.

Come on, dude. That's hilarious. Come on. It's all tongue and cheese. I know, but like, come on. And then it says here, it's first of all, grit level medium. What does that even begin to mean? I love Dr. Squatch's soaps. Oh, I love when they have the grit. Yeah. Dude, there's one that has like oatmeal in it. What's that called? The pine tar one. Exfoliating. Yes. Yes. They have one that has like full on pieces of oats in it.

I love Dr. Squatch's soap. I love putting a bar on me. I actually love their deodorant, too. I use their deodorant. Yo, I don't really fuck with, like, body wash. I do. Like, I use it, but, like, I would much rather a bar. Like, a bar feels like I'm getting clean. I both. So it's part of my body wash routine. I start with a bar, and then I end with body wash for the fragrance. On the same place? Well, so I body wash with—I bar wash. Bar wash. The whole body. And then I wash it off. And then you do— And then I do body wash.

So you double wash. Oh, yeah. You got to be careful. The smell is... If you've heard that sound from Babbel before, I bet you do. Babbel is the science-backed language learning app that actually works. With quick 10-minute lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel gets you on your way to speaking a new language in just a few weeks. With over 6

Morning wood. Naturally. Naturally. I will say this, minus the whole Sydney Sweeties bath water part of it. It sounds like it smells good. It smells like it smells great. What is it?

Pine, Douglas fir, and earthy moss. Earthy moss? Just like an earthy, clean smell to it. I love a fir. I love pine. So are they confirmed that she actually got in a bath? Is that in the ingredients list? It says a touch of Sidney Sweeney's bath water. Yeah. I mean, I imagine that it has to, and if it doesn't... What's a touch? Because if I'm buying this thing... If I'm buying this thing... If you're one of those losers. Right. Right.

If I'm buying this thing, you know, I assume you want some sort of like, forgive me, funk. Maybe that's the earthy part of it.

I was expecting more Sweeney on the nose. Right. What does that smell like? They could call anything, this smells like Sidney Sweeney, and no one would know but the people close to her. He's talking about your palate. Like, oh, I'm getting Sidney Sweeney on the nose. You're smelling it, and you can smell Sidney Sweeney. Yeah, but I'm saying how would anyone know what she smells like? You can do anything and say, this is what Sidney Sweeney smells like. Well, it was a comedy joke, I think. Oh, now we're not doing comedy jokes? No.

Now we're doing comedy jokes. Mr. Well, I can't tell how many people that bought them are losers. Yeah, I know. Because you're saying a definitive thing. You're like, 80% of the people who bought this are freaks. No, I said it's a fair assumption. I said it's a fair assumption to make. Of course I don't think our people that listen are losers. I don't think that's a fair assumption. I love people. I don't think people are losers. Everyone has a story that I love and I get behind.

Unless they buy a bar of soap. Unless they are buying soap because it is specifically marketed as having been steeped with Sidney Sweeney. That's the thing. It better be steeped. Like, if I'm going to get to the point where we're like, yo, fuck it, I'm about to buy bathwater, it better be bathwater in this thing. And not like a molecule of bathwater. I've been duped now by the system. But we don't know. This is crazy. Just no way to tell. We're going to find out. How? How?

You're gonna buy it off the secondary market. No, I can't. Yeah. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna smell it and go, oh, this smells like shit. Not only would I not buy this, but could you imagine, like, if you're a couple and, like, you're bathing with it and your significant other's like, what the hell is that? Yeah. Like, what is that?

Bro, if I... Because there are times where I'm in the shower and Becca will walk in and brush her teeth or whatever. And I'm like, oh, I'm just washing myself with Sidney Sweeney's bathwater. That's weird, right? I don't think you lead with that. I also think that if you're actually using it, that you live alone. Or you live in the basement apartment of your mom. So now you're leaning into the losers. I'm saying if you're actually using it. My point was that I think there's a lot of people buying it as a joke. Yeah, I think that the chances... All right.

Because it is a big, fat joke. You know, it is a big, fat joke. On everyone but Dr. Squatch and Sidney Sweeney because they're raking it in. They're caking. I mean, they're not really caking. Like, Dr. Squatch, they only made 2,000 bars. They sell more than that. Let's say they made, but yeah, but what's the margin? She caked. She probably caked, but what's the margin on the bars? It doesn't matter. It's only 2,000. Yes, it does matter. They're $8. The revenue is $16,000. Change the company. It's about the publicity.

You know what? I didn't even think about it like that. It's only $16,000. Which it's not, but like, it's less than that. Yeah. It's about the pub. I mean, she probably got paid, right? She probably got a couple thousand. A couple thousand? I would say she probably got at least $100,000. Easily. Easily. Easily. I would say she's a very popular, she's an A-lister, I would say. She probably got at least $250,000. Yeah, maybe.

And it's probably worth it for them, too. Yeah. I mean, good for them. I mean, we're talking about them for 40 minutes. Talk about the best of your baby. Oh, shit. We're talking about we don't even know what the hell are we talking about? But we do have some more sponsors here. The first one being, how you doing, SeatGeek?

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God. Love that. That's crazy.

I do have something written down here about, I think you brought it up before the show, but the vibe checks. Yeah, so apparently it is a trend that the current generation of kids that are turning 21, 22, within that age bracket, what are they, Gen Alpha? Gen Z? They're Gen Z. Gen Z. I'm sorry. Forgive me. They are reportedly calling up bars before they go to bars to get a vibe check.

I like that. Stop it. I think calling up a bar and being like, yo, is it lit in there? What? Why? Because I want to know. So what answer makes you not go? Like, what are they going to say? It's dead. Why would they say that? Why would a responsible business owner be like,

Yeah, no, it's empty. Well, it wouldn't be the owner picking up the phone. It would be like... A bartender. Why would any... Bro, if I was an owner of a bar and I heard that people were calling, I would tell my bartenders, tell them it's fucking awesome in here. I guess it would make no sense to say like, yeah, it's dead, don't come. Yeah, because then you're literally telling people not to come to your fucking business. I always wish that like...

I can go on Instagram and you know how like places have Instagram accounts? And if I like clicked on their story, I would know what it looks like in there that night so that I would know like, oh, it looks cool in there or it's too packed. I don't want to go there. Let's go somewhere else. I know that there's like some stuff on Google Maps that I'll plug in. I don't know how real that is. It's very busy now. It's busiest, like not very busy or like, you know. They save themselves because they say like usually busy. And I was like, bro, that's crazy.

Yeah, like, I see it mostly with, like, when I'm driving. It'll say, like, oh, it's worse than average, or, like, this is the, it'll show you a graph, and it's like, this is the best time to leave, and stuff like that. I hate this. Just, like, go. If you're going to go out, go. And then if it's not what you like...

Go elsewhere. Like, that's the thing. It's like, why do we need to be... But you're saving the time. Like, maybe the place that you would go second... But the experience is about going. It's not about, like... Like, just go. Just go. What do you mean the experience is about going? Like, the experience is about going to the place and then seeing it. And then if you don't like it, you go somewhere else. Like, that's how you learn. If you call up and you're just like, yeah, no. Like, also, bro, if I was a bartender and someone said, hey, give me a vibe check, I'd say...

Come get a drink, you fucking loser. I'm on one today. I don't know that that would get them there. That would work. That would guarantee to not get them in the door. I think like as the person who's going to, I get why it doesn't make sense for the bartender to be like, no, it sucks. Don't come. But like as the person who like wants to know, I don't think there's anything wrong with like wanting to be like, yo, we want to go out. We want to go to a place and like socialize with some people. If there's no one there, I don't want to go there.

Here's the only way I think this is acceptable. A camera. You put a camera in the corner so that we could tap into it and be like, oh, wow, it's packed in there. Just give people more opportunity to stalk each other. Why not, right? It was a bad idea. It was a bad idea. I just... The only version of this that is acceptable is, like, if you guys go out to a bar and I text you and I'm like, oh, what do you guys do? And you're like, oh, we're at fucking McLoone's. I would say...

Oh, what's it like? Should I come? Yeah. When other people are there, that's fine. Bro, these people behind the bar are working hard to serve drinks and like to have them take time out of their... Say they get five calls a night. Like... This bar sucks, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's taking time from them. Taking time from them? What do you mean? Bro, if there's a packed bar and you're calling a bar to see a vibe check, is it like a good thing if they don't answer or a bad thing if they don't answer? It's probably a good thing if they don't answer.

If they don't have the time to answer, then it's packed. But like from the perspective of the person calling. I'm not also calling to – I've never done this, but I'm saying like if a place is like overrun, I don't want to go there. And think about this. If I want to go to a bar that's like, yo, it would be cool if we went to this place. I went like last month and it was sick. And you get all the way there. It's in Hudson Yards.

And you get all the way there and it's like it's either packed or it's like dead. Then you're like, all right, we're not going to go. Now it's like, fuck, where else do we go? Anywhere else that there are bars, which is I mean, I know New York is. But a lot of people don't just walk into places. It's like, let's go to places that we know will be cool. And I want to go there. So then if you want to go there, why do you need to know the vibe if you just want to go to that place? I just want to make sure that it's not super packed or super dead.

But if you want to go to the place, regardless of... I don't know. But people want to socialize. I guess for me, I'm just seeing like, bro, if I want to go to McLoone's, I don't know why that's the first place that... Such a weird name. That is a bar, right? Is it? McLoone's. I'm sure it is. All right. Let's... What was one? Bonnie. Okay. Or Dimar Station. No. The Diddy. Better one. Okay. Okay.

I don't know why I'm doing this. I mean, either. Okay. But what? If I want to go there. Yeah. I want to go there. I don't necessarily care about the vibe, whether there's a lot of people or not a lot of people. So you're saying if you were like, I want to like, let's go to the Diddy. We get to the Diddy and it's fucking wall to wall. You're going to go in. No, then I'll just be like, ah, all right, I'll go elsewhere. That's the point that I'm making. But I don't.

I feel like that changes whether you go or not. But I feel like the going is the part that, like, I don't know. I think I'm being an idiot right now. The going is the part? The Uber to the bar is what I'm saying. Just like the idea. Like, I want to go and just see it. You want to go and see the outside of the bar? Like, if I go, I think my brain is breaking right now. Me too. If I want to go to the Diddy. Yeah. Yeah.

And I, I, I, even if I call them and they say, oh my God, it's packed wall to wall. I don't know if I'll believe it. I would need to see it. I would need to go there and physically see it. Or I'll do you one better. Sometimes places have lines. Like they get so packed that there's a line. I don't want to wait in the line. You know what? I, I, I'm going to recant. I'm going to pull back a little bit. I spoke about losers earlier. I'm, I'm apologizing to the losers. That's not their choice for being losers.

Feels like you're doubling down now. I'm obviously coming from the perspective of someone that grew up where, oh, the bar here is not good. You can go to the 50 other that are around the corner. Sure. I'm not looking from the perspective of people that like it's their only night that they can go out and there's maybe like one good place in this town.

But it's also like what you want. Like bars are just different. Like if you're just going to go to a dive bar, yeah, you can go anywhere. But like if you want to go to a cocktail bar or you want to go to like a lounge kind of area, like those are not typically like right next door to each other. And there's places that have like better drinks or better, you know, this. Or if you want to go watch a sports game, like there's just bars for different shit. Yeah, you're right. I don't think – I'm recanting and I'm taking it back. I'm dialing it back a little bit. How about this? How do you guys feel about this? And I don't know why –

This feels not embarrassing, but it's an interesting feeling when you call a place and make a reservation and you show up and there's no one in there. Do you tell the person that you made a reservation or you just walk in? Yeah, I do. Because you don't know why there's no one in there. Could it be because they're like expecting like a big party?

All right, but like that would be a big wedding. It would be a big party. It would be a big party. But like I always tell the front because I don't want to get like – the only thing that's going through my head is like I'm going to tell them that I have a reservation so that I don't get charged like you didn't show up. Yeah, exactly. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But like if it's empty – I'm going to do it anyway. Don't you feel like a little silly being like, yeah, why did I make a reservation? No, because I feel like – I hear what you're saying in that because that's happened to me a ton. Yeah, me too. Where I'll just be like –

Oh, I just made a reservation. Like, I didn't need to, clearly, but, like, I did. None of this is, like, outward. It's, like, in my—I'm, like, why did I make a reservation? I've walked into places where there's literally one other table, and it's, like, oh, I made a reservation. They're, like, all right, come this way. Bro, you know what drives me up the wall? When you go into a restaurant and there's not a lot of people sitting down and they seat you next to people. Put me on the other side of this place. Yeah.

Yeah. Why am I sitting next to people? I also don't like restaurants and I get why they have to do it. But as a consumer, I don't like my tables here and their tables. Yeah. I don't like that. And it's like, now I have to like whisper. Cause I'm like, I'm having a conversation. I don't want these people to like, I'm listening to my conversation. I'm with you. If you have the space, use it, explore the space a little bit. Yeah. Why do you got to put me? I know, I know that there's probably an answer for this. Like people in the service industry are going to say like, here is the answer.

But I don't like the answer. Move one of these tables. Let's move over. Give me like three more inches. Also, if it's just two people, it needs whatever. All right. Whatever the party is that you're going with, the table needs to be plus one. So like if it's just me and you going to dinner, this needs to be a table for at least three people. That's crazy. Because we're ordering food.

And we're ordering food, so it'll be plate, plate, and then stuff in the middle. Right. It can't be a small table. Am I making sense here? Wait, why do you need there to be an extra? Because I order a lot of food. Oh, you're saying tables aren't big enough to fit all the food? No, they're not for me. Because then we've got to do this weird thing where I'm just like, I pick it up and they put it there, and then I need to move this over here and put this down here. I don't really love that either. Maybe that's why they do it in like, we're going to bring this out, then bring this out, bring that out.

I personally don't care about that. For instance, Beck and I went to dinner the other day. Too many plates? We got two appetizers and we got oysters. Three plates. That's three plates. What were the other ones? Wagyu meatball. Ooh, you slut. Yeah. And seared scallops in a butter corn sauce. Joey. I'm so hungry. I am going to die.

And that, by the way, that Wagyu meatball? Yeah. Sauce and a whipped ricotta on top of it. I love ricotta. Oh, my God. I love that. And those oysters, by the way. Good? Don't know what that means. Incredible. Incredible oysters. Nice. Okay, so you have three plates out there. Then you have your two plates. Then we have the two plates for us. Like, it's just not a lot of space. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why the perfect number to go out to dinner with, to me, is an odd number. Because you always get that extra seat because most tables are for four or six. That's a really good point. Sometimes you get lucky. I've gotten lucky and they'll put you in like a corner. Because if you have the corner, then you could like, you usually get something. I don't like corner spots. I like them. I don't like being in the middle. You know my dad is one of those people that like has to have his like facing the door.

For like robbers? I don't know what it's for. I just said robbers. Yeah. It's a stick-up restaurant. You know, the incredible place to rob, a restaurant. Yeah. Wait, he thinks he's Pablo Escobar? Yeah, I don't know, but like anytime we would go out to eat, he'd always be like, no, no, that's my seat. And he'd always want to sit at the back with his back to the wall.

Right. I don't know who my dad thinks he is or was. Anyway, I think that's all we have for today. But yeah, like Frank said earlier, if you haven't gotten tickets yet to a Basement Yard show, hit us up. Go to thebasementyard.com. Tour's starting up soon, so get tickets if they're available still in your area. Our first show is in Kansas City. There's some tickets available there, so go check that out. And go to thebasementyard.com slash submit.

and keep writing in for the shows that you're coming to so that we could possibly, you know, maybe get you on stage, talk to you. We have no idea what the hell is going on, but that's all we got. Frank, where can they find you? And go find him there, and you guys can go follow the show at The Basement Yard on TikTok and Instagram, and we'll see you next time. And Patreon. Did you say that, bitch?