90: Mortality & Deli Sandwiches
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Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Hey guys, major heads up for this episode. I had a crazy sandwich from some local deli that I tried out and I've been having, sorry TMI, nonstop diarrhea for the last, give or take, five, six hours.

Just up and down, up and down, back to the turlet, back to my bed, back to the turlet, you know what I mean? It's just- Okay, one of those days! I'm having one of those freakin' days!

It's so good, though. I don't know what was on this damn sandwich. It was because everything in life for me, I'm just trying to chase the high of Jimmy John's Italian nightclub. And I try to recreate it in other sandwich shops. And I just I don't come close. You know what I mean? But I can't. There was and if I'm allowed to bare my soul, there was a string of days. Can't remember when. Oh, yeah. Last week when I ordered Jimmy John's four days in a row.

I had Jimmy John's four days in a row and I don't feel good about it. I don't feel proud or happy to say that. If you're my doctor and you're listening, no, I did not order Jimmy John's four days in a row. I had some whole meals. Think green, leafy greens.

baby butter, Jim lettuce, lots of protein, very low fat diet. That's actually what I was eating. Now, if you're not my doctor, I need you to know that I had Jimmy John's four days in a row. I had Jimmy John's and those damn Jimmy peppers are so damn good. What do they put in them? What are Jimmy peppers?

I see that on the fucking modifications. Add Jimmy Peppers. Yeah, add as many Jimmy Peppers as you possibly can. Stutter one more time. Stutter one more time. Jimmy Peppers. Irmiger Jimmy Peppers on my Jimmy Johns.

Shut the fuck up. Jimmy Peppers ingredients. Jimmy Peppers are a sweet, mild fire engine red pepper variety or Jimmy John's Jimmy Peppers, a hot cherry pepper mix used in their sandwiches. Hot cherry pepper mix.

Hot cherry pepper mix? I hardly know her. Oh my god, I found my fucking people on Reddit. I found my community on Reddit. Did you know you can get a gallon of Jimmy John's spicy peppers for $20 and they're delicious on everything? Where the fuck do you buy this?

You can get one pound of Mama Lil's, which are the same thing for a little cheaper. Now, Mama Lil's is what Alyssa's Magic uses. If y'all know my girl Alyssa on TikTok, she does the snack plate. She introduced me to those snack plates. Those damn snack plates. She'll cut up some Mama Lil's peppers and some pepperoncinis. Pepperoncini, pepperoncini, banana pepper. They're all the same thing, right? I love a damn banana pepper. Anyway.

am coming to you today to tell you that I have a fucking problem okay and I also need you to know that this is the third piece of media that I have talked about Jimmy John's on this week we just filmed a bunch of Royal Court episodes I brought it up in at least two of them and at least two episodes I'm like you know about Jimmy John's I made it in a TikTok Jimmy John's just now Jimmy John's fuck off

Not even like being paid. Jimmy John's, you want to sponsor this podcast? You let me know. Cause I'm doing free promo, free press. Damn. I love Jimmy. James Jonathan. Okay. Welcome back. Okay. And for the girls who were like, um, queen quit fucking around, drop the album. It's fucking out. I hope you bitches are hungry. I hope you bitches are hungry. Eat.

Come get y'all juice. It's here. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I went ahead and actually had released a single. I had released an original piece of music. So if anyone gives a shit. Also, that's an inside joke between me and my friends. We'll say, they'll be like, oh my God, how was your meeting? How was whatever? I'll be like, it was great. But you know, like you give a shit.

Actually, that's my friend Channing's bit. It's my friend Channing and Tristan's bit. And I kind of had poached it from him. I stole it from him. They all be like, well, Brittany, we know you don't give a shit, but last night went great. I dropped a single, like y'all give a fuck. No one gives a fuck. It's a joke. Okay. Okay. Let's talk about it because I feel like I've been talking about it nonstop, but not to my people, not to the people that actually matter to me. Y'all, you know what I mean? Broski Nation.

This single has been a labor of love and I feel that it embodies the core, the heart of what I am introducing you to. And it's this delicate balance, right? Where I don't want to come on here and be like, this song means this and let's go through it lyric by lyric what I meant. Because that takes away the fun. And I'm now understanding that. Where when I was younger, or even by that I mean a year ago,

I always want artists to come out and just tell me, right? When Florence Welch sits down to write a song and it's packed with all this imagery and like it's a clear reference to something, but I feel like I'm not quite getting it, but I'm getting it in my own way. That's the point, right? If she was to come on and be like, this is what this line means and do it line by line by line, it ruins the mystique. It ruins the...

the ambiguity of what that art is. And while I think that there's a balance between speaking to the inspirations and the sentiment that, that informs the song, the specifics of the lyricism, I really offer that up to y'all. You know what I mean? And I already saw y'all are just, I just love you guys.

Like you're picking up on things that I don't have to tell you, you know, and it's really nice. It's really validating. But the most validating thing about it is it is done. It's done. And the people that I want to have it, it's yours. You know what I mean? Like broski nation, my fucking people, my municipality, city, state. Do we have clean water? No. Do we have health care? No. Do we have fresh crops? No.

But do we have a fucking single? Yeah. And y'all are getting fed regardless. And you're getting fed again soon. Okay? So keep those baby bird mouths open. But here's the sort of thing, right? The Sun, the single, wrote that song about a year ago. And I came in just like with a heaviness on me the day that we wrote it. And I was in the room with my co-writers Sissy and Emily and my producer Luke.

And we talked for half of the session because I was just like, this has been my experience with this fucking dude. That's like it extends so much farther beyond just like this one interaction with a man, though, because while that solidified my feeling in that moment,

zooming out a bit it's like he wasn't the first one to make me feel like that and this goes so much farther beyond him he was just the catalyst I guess for this final like nail in the coffin but it's this larger feeling that I've felt my whole life of people have told me and I've bonded about this with some of my friends that have lived a similar thing when you are a confident loud

unapologetic person, I don't even want to say woman, when you are someone who knows themselves so clearly, that is very scary for some people. And it's not just men. It's some people cannot stand to stand next to your glow or be in the light of your glow without feeling a compulsion to dampen that light or to dull it or to make you feel less than

And most often in my life, that's come at the hands of men, the words of men. I would say it's not a unique sentiment to men only that have made me feel that way, if you catch my drift. So when that happens and when you realize you're surrounded by people that

It feels want to change you or want you to be less because what you are is too much for them. And what I've come to realize is that's in a positive way for me. I'm too much for you because you can't handle me because you are not up to par with me. There's nothing wrong with me. Okay? I say this every single episode where...

There is community in this feeling of being off the beaten path when it comes to relationships or intelligence or interests or creativity or just who you are as a person. Feeling misunderstood or feeling like you never really were in the same realm on the same planet as other people. I felt that way a lot as a teenager where it's like I found my community online.

And that's why I am the way that I am. The internet raised me and it also raised all of you. And there's a community in that. And what used to feel so lonely now is brimming with life.

Anyway, so the son is written from that sort of perspective of being told you need to be less. You're too good for me. But at the same time, what does that mean? What does that mean? I'm too good for you. Because the only logical conclusion I can pull from that statement is that I need to be less.

Is that going to make you want me? I'll be less. Fine, I'll be mess. I've talked about this before of that fucking lyric from Lemonade by Beyonce when she recites that poetry where she says, I've looked it up before. Hold on, let me find it. Girl, this gives me chills every time I fucking read it. Okay, this is Anger. This is from Anger. So I think this is right before Don't Hurt Yourself. I think it's right before Don't Hurt Yourself on Lemonade. Okay, here we go.

If this is what you truly want, I can wear her skin over mine. Her hair over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp a cap. Her sternum my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph, all three of us. Immortalized. You and your perfect girl. I have chills. Can you zoom in on that? I have chills all over my body.

I don't know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it. My father's arms around my mother's neck, fruit too ripe to eat. I think of lovers as trees, growing to and from one another, searching for the same light. Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? Everyone else can. What the fuck? Shit! That never gets old.

This is, in a roundabout way, the sun is everything in this poem and more. Because it's this feeling not only of, in a romantic sense, what do you mean I'm too good for you? But in life, friendships, opportunities, jobs, anything. It's like some people just can't handle you. And that is okay. Because they're not meant to.

And when you find the people that do and can and they can keep up with you and they sharpen your knife and you sharpen theirs, it is incredible. So yeah, the sun to me is that. And I know it's not a unique experience. So I hope you enjoy it. And it's finally yours to have. And more music coming very soon.

So I need y'all to sit with it for a moment though, okay? I feel like I've bombarded you. Okay, we're doing Adore You, we did The Sun, we've got the video, the visualizers doing all this fucking bullshit, whatever. Enjoy it because the storm is coming. The storm is coming, girl. But yeah, so just need to talk about that. That's out of the way. Here's some stuff to completely pivot. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc.

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This episode is sponsored by Blissy. Longtime fans of the podcast know I'm a Blissy enthusiast. I thrash around like a caged beast at night when I sleep. And switching from a cotton pillowcase to a Blissy silk pillowcase has saved my hair from turning into a rat's nest and breaking off and being matted with sweat.

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Here's some stuff I've been loving lately. Okay, I'm just gonna, this is a random list that I've thrown together. I need to talk about this on the podcast. Here it is.

Halfetti by Penhaligon's. That is my scent of choice right now. It is my favorite perfume. I wear it every single day. I'm addicted to it. I think it's, I say this, but this is going to change in the next 72 hours probably. It's my signature scent right now. Right now. Because sometimes I get a whiff of it and I'm like, this is too mature for me. And then some days I'm like, this is me. This is fucking me to my core.

"You took a screenshot of my soul, it can't be helped, thank you, I paint halogen sometimes." Anyway, that's number one. Number two, yogurt-covered pretzels. I was with Stanley this last weekend, we were filming Royal Court, and he went into this dumbass children's candy shop. He's like, "I want something sweet." Went in, got yogurt pretzels. I was driving, I said, "Can I have one of those?" He's like, "Yeah." And now it's all I think about, yogurt-covered pretzels, dude?

I got a big tub. I went to the grocery store, got a big tub of them, ate half of them in a night, had diarrhea, whatever. You can take the binge eating out of the binge eater, but hey, those tendencies are still going to whisper. They're going to come and tuck my hair behind my ear. You know what I mean? I had to hang up the proverbial robe, hang up the fucking hat on the binge eating. But sometimes, hey, take that hat around the block for a spin. Don't listen to me.

Don't listen to me. Number three, watermelon flavored things. Been loving that a lot lately. There's this electrolyte drink. I like this watermelon. It's pretty much it. I've just been loving some like watermelon liquid IV. That's all I've been drinking lately. Next is flossing.

Not the dance, not the backpack kid dance, just flossing in general. Been doing that a lot lately. I've been really into flossing. Some of you bitches really might want to get into it too. Can I just say really quick, the thought of waking up in the morning and leaving your home and not brushing your teeth is like, if you're a fan of mine, cut that shit out.

If you're, we're not doing stinky broski nation ambassadors. Please guys, don't, we can't be the stinky fan base. Please wear deodorant and not that fucking aluminum free shit. Wear deodorant that works and please brush your teeth. I'm begging y'all. We can't be stinky. What was that joke that I was used to say to people who were like barricaded concerts? It's like y'all are in the no deodorant club.

Y'all are in the, let's raise my arms and not wear deodorant club. I don't remember what the tweet was, but we can't be doing that, guys. Please. Anyway, big into flossing. Big into French tips. Okay? And when I got these nails at first, I was like, I feel like a 40-year-old Southern mom of two boys.

And one of them's not doing so great in school. The other one's trying to get, you know, he's like 16, 17. We're trying to get him noticed by colleges for either baseball or football, whatever he's playing. And he's like, just not there. Like, I'm really, I want my boys to be good. You know what I mean? But they're really struggling. They're feeling inferior. And it's on me as a mother to sort of coax them back to, you're good. You just have to believe in yourself and you can't let this stuff slip.

Right? Because you're in high school right now. When you get to college, that's a different ballgame. You got to be your own boss. That's what these nails make me feel like is I'm always in the car. I'm always on fucking Apple CarPlay. My husband's trying to call me. Don't call me because we fought yesterday and he's being stupid and oblivious and I'm going to leave him. I'm going to leave my husband.

Probably, I'm gonna wait till the kids, I'll get them through. And also, I'm the breadwinner. My bitch ass husband doesn't do shit. He sits at home all day. Because I married him because he was a creative. And now he hasn't done anything creative for the last 11 fucking years. Okay? Anyway, I get my boys through high school. I get them through college. I divorce my husband. Because I can't deal with it anymore, right? Then I go on an eat, pray, love journey. Maybe I don't go to Bali. Maybe I go to like Argentina or something. Okay? Maybe I go figure myself out there.

But I really see in an alternative life, that was me. And I had these nails and probably this hair as well. Sometimes when I think of deja vu, I think of it as like alternate timelines or parallel timelines. And when deja vu happens, I usually see it as like, okay, you're still on the right track. Like it's check marks of where you are, where you're supposed to be. You're doing things right. But sometimes I get deja vu and I'm like,

It's because I had this same experience in my other life. Do you know what I mean? What are some common explanations of deja vu? Deja vu explained. Deja vu meaning already seen in French. Now, see, I had no idea that's what that meant.

Which is making sense. The feeling of familiarity with a situation or experience that you know you've never encountered before. And while its exact cause is unknown, it's often linked to memory processing or subtle neurological events. I'm sweating. Hold on. I've got to take off my blouse. Let's go to clevelandhealthclinic.org. Deja vu what it is and why it happens.

Okay, locking in. Just touchdown in science mode.

You have two temporal lobes, one on each side of your head, right above your temples.

They play an important role, and I just actually had a freak out because I'm not my body. I'm just this fucking pink matter, gray matter inside of this skull. And one day I will also be bones. I will be across bones and skull somewhere in the Paris catacombs. I just actually... Hold on. Because I was going to have this freak out on this podcast anyway because I'm reading Cersei right now, and she's immortal, and she is obsessed with mortals. Because obviously if you're immortal... Again! What?

topic on this podcast. This should be called... Okay. These have been sponsored by SockDoc. When was the last time you needed to go to a doctor but you pushed it off? You made the excuse, I'm too busy, I can't find my insurance card, getting health advice from the latest social media trend or influencer is enough.

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We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, and are a good fit for any medical need you may have.

Also, with hundreds of verified patient reviews, you can find the type of care and support you're looking for, from good bedside manner to fast wait times to doctors with the best listening skills. Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through ZocDoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments.

Everyone knows I use ZocDoc to find my dermatologist, and Lord knows I keep him in business, so I'm glad I found him. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash broski to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash broski. ZocDoc.com slash broski. Just started six sentences back-to-back, didn't finish one of them. Here, I'm going to start and finish this one. I've been thinking a lot about death.

Because what's new? I've been thinking a lot about death recently because Cersei is addicted to mortals. She loves them. And she finds them to be very interesting and intriguing in how emotional they are, how weak they are, but at the same time so strong and how...

There's beauty in the imperfections because when you are surrounded by beautiful, immortal gods, goddesses, nymphs, dryads, niads, whatever the fuck. If beauty is the norm, then...

Somewhere along that path, the roles become reversed, right? If that's all you see, then something off the beaten path or out of the norm is the new beautiful. So for her, when she sees marred skin or sunburn or age lines or smile lines or scabs or calloused hands, she thinks it's the most beautiful thing in the world. And honestly, I've been freaking out a lot about this because

As a kid, quote unquote, I say, she's thousands of years old. As a child, when she first realized that mortals die, and not only do they die, but their lifespans are so short, she was like, why is no one pitying them? Like, why is, how can this happen? Like, it's this very innocent, what do you mean they die? Because immortality is the norm. And I've just been thinking a lot about death recently because why?

Hold on, let me read this. I underlined something because it made me fucking spiral. And if the real Broski Nation comrades remember, when I went on Mythical Kitchen's last meals and me and Josh had bonded over, Mythical Chef Josh, had bonded over how death is our biggest fear because what do you mean it's just over? And also being raised religious and being ex-religious now, any sense of comfort or certainty that I had has been ripped from under me. The rug has been pulled.

So now it really is me versus the darkness. It's me versus nothingness. And there is nothing. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's not funny. There's nothing scarier to me genuinely than the great beyond. Then this is it.

And while it fills me with a sense of optimism and I want to live my life to the fullest, the flip side of that coin is just eternal dread and a childlike fear of pain, of darkness, of loneliness. All of it kind of balls up into one big tumbleweed of anxiety and that's kind of what's going on in my head. So anyway, let me find this passage. Sorry.

Here's a passage from Circe, okay? It's on page 159. And I'm about to butcher these names, so just bear with me.

Icarus, Daedalus, Ariadne, all gone to those dark fields where hands worked nothing but air, where feet no more touched the earth. If I had been there, I thought, but what would it have changed? It was true what Hermes said. Every moment morals died, by shipwreck and sword, by wild beasts and wild men, by illness, neglect, and age. It was their fate, as Prometheus had told me, the story that they all shared.

No matter how vivid they were in life, no matter how brilliant, no matter the wonders they made, they came to dust and smoke. Meanwhile, every petty and useless god would go on sucking down the bright air until the stars went dark. Okay, so I just kind of read that and I had to close the book. Honestly, the episode that I did when I came back from the Paris catacombs where I was like truly having a freakout spiral, reading this book, I'm finding myself

back down in the catacombs and that just wash over me of this cannot be. It's like an incredulous disbelief of this cannot be me one day. Like the catacombs is such a visceral experience. You are face to face with death. These skulls,

And human bones are not behind wire. They're not behind net. You can go up and touch it. Don't. Don't do that. But it's that close. And it's on eye level. And it is a human person's skull. And I just, it made me freak out. I don't know what makes me freak out more, actually. The fact that it'll end. Or the fact that this is all I get. Or...

Life is so fragile, like you could die before you're meant to or the oblivion of it all. Like death is loneliness. And that's why it's so important during life to to bask in the comfort and love of your own presence up here. And in the end.

This is dark, and I don't know if I really agree with this, but you are all that you have in your mind. That's why dementia scares the fuck out of me. Anyway, here's where I was going with this, okay? I want to look up, both on this podcast and in my free time, what is the solution to that spiral of thinking? Because it's not a fun one to go down, and I...

I don't find myself following the spiral often, but it does hit me, especially with books like this where I'm like, fucking hell. Also, the story being told from an immortal's point of view is like, it's not necessarily preferable to being mortal. So just throw that out there. But I want to know a...

metaphorical salve or a serum to quell those thoughts when they start or some form of just comfort and outside the bounds of religion. I know the simple answer is, oh, just believe in God, believe in eternal life. You know, find your way to any of these prophetic deities and confess your loyalty and your whatever and promise to do, okay, now what? It's also one of those things where I don't really believe it as I'm saying it.

because I'm saying it for a selfish purpose. And that is what my issue with Christianity was. From the moment that I was acquainted with the idea of baptism or of salvation, it was from a purely selfish point of view. When I told y'all that story, my pastor said, if you're not for sure, if you died tonight, you're going to heaven. Put your fucking hand in the air. And I said, well,

Girl, I'm 11. You know what I mean? That was bred out of a sense of helplessness and selfish worry for my own soul. Not because I believe that Jesus is the light in the way and the this and that and the whatever. That's the disconnect. And I feel like the puzzle pieces never really fit together for me. And I'm struggling for that to find...

And keep that sense of certainty and security that I used to have. And also the validation of a church community telling you, you're doing everything right. You know, you are not alone. He walks beside you. All these things where you're getting positive echo chamber feedback.

from people who believe the same or would like to believe the same for themselves. And it helps with the delusion, but being so far removed from the church, I have none of that now. And I don't miss the church, but this solitary solitude, it's too much sometimes. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. Y'all know I'm going to the Cowboy Carter tour. Don't even play around. You know I'm gonna be there.

Which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There's more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. There are so many artists going on tour this summer, like The Weeknd, Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar and SZA, Post Malone, Tyler, the Creator, Sabrina Carpenter, et cetera.

I love using SeatGeek because it is easy to use. I love using SeatGeek because SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you

And y'all know I got a code. You can use code "BROSKI2025" for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code "BROSKI2025". Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thanks, SeatGeek! So here's what I wanna Google. How to get over a fear of death.

We're getting to it, guys. Thanatophobia? There's a fucking name for it? Also, why does that sound like Thanatos? I'm on my Greek mythology shit right now, girl. Hold on, because I'm powered through Song of Achilles. I'm doing Circe. Next, I'm going to finish Clytemnestra. Then I'm going to do the Daughters of the fucking whatever. Daughters of the Wolves. Wolves' Den. Daughters of the Wolves' Den. Then I'm going to do the Odyssey. Then I'm going to do the Iliad. No, I'm going to do the Iliad, then the Odyssey. Which is the first one?

No, you start with the Iliad because the Iliad is the Trojan War and the Odyssey is Odysseus' journey home after the Trojan War. Okay, so anyway, I'm on my Greek mythology shit right now. And you know what I love about Madeline Miller? She introduces you to all of these names, whether you've heard them before, whether you just know that, like, we just got introduced to the Minotaur.

in this book and I'm like, oh, I know the Minotaur is like half man, half bull. And then you hear of the origin of like how he came to be and how the Minotaur was defeated and the significance of monsters to the Greek gods and goddesses and how it was a form of creating heroes. You can't have heroes without monsters to kill or to best or to conquer. So it's all a game. And what I, I was talking to Stanley about this the other day too, because what is so intriguing to me about

Greek gods versus Norse gods versus any of these mythologies that have lasted for thousands of years is that they're quite cruel. The gods are cruel and there's no balance of fairness or

love, they're not motivated by love or hate. They're motivated by power. And that is such an interesting, you know what I mean? And the Norse gods are fucking cruel. Look that up too. Well, actually, what were we saying? Stanley said that the Norse gods were cruel and the Greek gods and goddesses were motivated by ego, which all of them are, it's just a power play. I mean, they're all under the same umbrella of just

you have power and you want to keep it but I think that's what he said and I need to I need to lock the fuck into all this ego versus Norse gods cruelty okay I need to lock the fuck into this not here because I'm I'm reading too deep yeah it's a very interesting what feels like two different types of deity worship but maybe not that far off so who's to say let me lock in anyway

How to get over a fear of death. Okay. Oh, I was gonna look up thanatos. Than-a-tos. In ancient Greek mythology, do you see how this is all related? Thanatos is the personification of death. The son of Nyx, night, and the twin brother of Hypnos, sleep. So night and sleep are brothers and the son of night is death. Okay.

Okay, I'm scared. Okay, yeah, yeah, I'm horrified. He appeared to humans to carry them off to the underworld when the time allotted to them by the fates had expired. I thought Hermes also was a psychopomp. Hermes versus Thanatos. Oh, Thanatos is simply the personification of death, while Hermes was the guide.

Again, just clock that because that's really fucking cool. The fear of death is thanatophobia. Thanatophobia is an extreme fear of death or the dying process. Psychotherapy is usually an effective treatment for death anxiety. Awesome. I love when you Google something and they're like, you should be on medication. You should see someone. Oh, okay. I had no idea.

Thanatophobia is different than necrophobia Necrophobia is a fear of dead things Or places that contain dead things Such as graveyards I don't know if I have that per se Because I was able to go to the catacombs I can go to a graveyard I mean, I'm a little spooked But I'm fine The concept of death itself Is what kind of really sends me How is... Okay, this is like a medical perspective I don't... I'm not really looking for this I'm looking more so for like...

inspiring Instagram infographic or potentially, you know, tumblr.com slash optimism sort of thing. I just need like one little phrase that I can remember forever that will always alleviate it and I can maybe get it tattooed because right now I have a fucking memento mori tattoo, which actually means remember that you will die. So I'm feeling like...

I have this obsession with it. I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with the idea of my own mortality. I don't know why. I don't know what. What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? Cognitive behavioral therapy? I already tried that shit for my binge eating disorder. That shit did not work, bruh. Cognitive behavioral therapy.

Can help you change the way you think about death so it isn't so scary. You may need to- This is so ridiculous! You may need to address unrealistic beliefs about death, such as feeling that death is unfair or that the dying process is always painful. CBT also gives you techniques to better manage how you react to thoughts of death, such as deep breathing. I mean, when I start thinking about the Paris catacombs. For real though!

EXPOSURE THERAPY?! This type of therapy gradually exposes you to places, thoughts, or situations that relate to death. Okay, awesome. You might start by writing about how you picture your own death or the death of a loved one- NO! NOOOO! Other exposure techniques could include visiting a hospital, writing a will, reading obituaries, or talking with someone who is a terminal ill doing that shit!

Medication for thanatophobia or other specific phobic disorders haven't proven very effective. But your healthcare provider may recommend anti-anxiety drugs if you have to be in a stressful or fearful situation like a funeral. Most people with thanatophobia respond very well to treatment. Okay, great. How to get over a fear of death. Hey! Okay, wait, hold on, hold on. We might be cooking. We might be cooking. This is from psyche.co.

Holy shit, guys. We're getting into it today. Sorry if y'all wanted like a Ed Sheeran Azizam review. We're not doing that today, even though I do love that song. We're not doing that. We're doing How to Not Fear Your Death on Psyche.co. Sorry about that. Here we go. This is by Sam Dresser.

You exist, but one day you won't. An Epicurean perspective can help you feel less afraid and even grateful for life's finitude. That's what I'm talking about. Let's fucking go. And let's actually Google Epicurean right now because I think I know what that means. Simple Epicurean philosophy. Oh, and you say I'm such a cliche. A disciple or student of the Greek philosopher Epicurus. Okay, thanks, dude. What do you mean by his teachings?

In modern popular usage, an Epicurean is a connoisseur of the arts of life and the refinements of sensual pleasures. Epicureanism implies a love or knowledgeable enjoyment, especially of good food and drink. What's the Epicurean lifestyle? An approach to life that stresses finding happiness through living simply. Is that not what I talk about on this podcast every fucking week?

We're rebranding to the Epicurean Report. This is now the Epicurean Report starring me, your host, Brittany Scared of Dying Broski. Brittany Fanatos Broski. Holy shit. Use Epicurean philosophy to find happiness. I'm so locked into this. Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go. This is exactly what I needed. Okay. Your demise is inevitable.

I hope that doesn't come as too much of a shock. I agree that the brevity of human existence is bothersome. Thankfully for most of us, this frightful fact usually hovers somewhere beyond the margins of our consciousness. We're aware of our death without constantly fearing it. Okay, talk. Speak for yourself because that's actually, I fear it every day.

Inevitably, though, there are moments when the reality of our eventual death strikes us in a new, chillier light. A close call demonstrates the tenuousness of life, or the death of a loved one reminds us that no one is exempt from humanity's ultimate destination. Even talking about death, as we are now, can be enough to bring on a ruminative contemplation of the end, and with it a shudder of fear about one's own extinguishment. He's kind of a wordsmith. Sam Dresser, do you want me?

In these moments, when your pending dissipation presents itself afresh, the fact of death is experienced in a new way. Rather than merely being known, like one more quotidian statement about the world, the sky is blue, I will die, the sense of one's ending is felt more deeply and more immediately. In these moods, the terror of death seeps into your awareness of yourself as a person,

Its awesome inevitability and finality makes you feel small and powerless. Yeah, me as fuck right now, Sam! This is the fear of death at an existential level, brought on by the almost unthinkable notion that there is and only ever will be one of you, and sooner or later it will flicker out of existence, leaving little more than memories and other soon-to-be-gone beings.

The fear of death, as I'm discussing it here, is not about the practical worry of who will pay off your credit card debt after you're gone. It's about the unsettling fact that the person who earned that debt in the first place is but a fleeting speck of an event in the infinite history of the universe. Okay, maybe this- can we get on to the part where you're helping me? 'Cause I've got- hey, look dude, I've got all this down, right?

I've done this little song and dance with myself. Let's move towards fixing it. Let's move towards a coping mechanism, you motherfucker. The fear of death is also heightened by thinking about how harmful mortality is to us. How there is no greater blow in life than for life to cease.

As the philosopher Thomas Nagel observed, death is the great deprivation. There's always more life to be lived, and it's painful to have that taken away. The best way to get at this fear, perhaps, is to contemplate the almost unbearable thought of your future absence. One day, at family dinners, a place will no longer be set for you.

The day after you die, the newspaper will still be published just as it was the day before. And the morning after your funeral, friends will make their morning coffee. You will be gone for good though, and that certainty is a terrifying impediment. So the fear of death is awful to behold, and therefore naturally something to overcome. Indeed, the striving to overcome the fear of death, I would suggest, has stimulated a great deal of thinking over the course of humanity's time on earth.

One could go so far as to say that working out how to thwart or perhaps accommodate death sits at the root of a vast number of cultural achievements. The fear of finitude is a powerful propellant. So how can the fear of death be overcome? THANK FUCK WE'RE GETTING TO IT! One popular strategy is to plan for a sequel to life, which, it's usually expected, will take place in another, happier realm.

Resurrection, whether as a human or otherwise, has won a great many adherents. And there have been several religions, as well as philosophers, that have promulgated, great word, promulgated, promote or make widely known. Promulgated. Promulgated.

And there have been several religions as well as philosophers that have promulgated a view of time as cyclical. We've done this before and we'll do this again. Death is a mere interlude. Okay, now look, I'm kind of maybe fucking with that. Maybe I'm fucking with that. But I don't know if I believe in reincarnation or... But we always talk about past lives and how things feel overly familiar or even deja vu where there are these clear signposts towards...

This isn't it. Like, this can't just be it. Life continues on. And Earth continues on. The Earth keeps spinning. Hmm. Okay, okay, okay. These tactics and ideas have something to recommend them, certainly. But for now, let's set aside all possibility of life after death so that we are left with the often horrifying thought, you exist, but one day you won't.

Are there any good philosophical reasons not to fear that gulf between being and not being? In this guide, I will suggest several philosophically inspired reasons not to be fearful of your own death. Let's go! And so, in that sense, I hope there's something helpful here to lighten the weight of the deeply unsettling existential state. Okay, it's time for Epicurean Hour.

The life of the city-dwelling ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus straddled the 3rd and 4th centuries BCE. His philosophy nowadays is popularly packaged as a kind of light hedonism: sensualist, joyful, a hint of luxury, a naughty second glass of wine. Though Epicurus himself was probably not quite the blinkered and unimaginative pleasure seeker that these cliches suggest, they do give a flavor of his outlook.

For him, the purpose of human life is to achieve happiness. Epicurus construed this as an absence of pain rather than a positive program of indulging oneself by, say, keeping up a rigorous schedule of orgies or downing flasks of opium on Tuesday mornings.

He recognized that whatever temporary excitement such pursuits yield in the moment will probably be well counterbalanced by a severe price to pay later on. So instead, Epicurus recommended, somewhat disappointingly, that it is moderation that will lead to a release from pain and suffering, which in turn will bring a respectable measure of happiness and therefore a good life.

Our limitations, our meager certainties, are at the center of Epicurus' system of thought, and it is in this context of mitigating pain and accruing a gentle happiness that he believed the fear of death needs to be understood. Epicurus and his followers held that the fear of death is harmful to the enjoyment of our lives, and so showing why this fear isn't well-founded contributes to the overall hedonic project of living well.

According to this tradition, the first thing to do to overcome the fear of death is to try to articulate to yourself what it would be like to be dead. Okay, that's the fucking problem! Therein lies my problem, Sam Dresser! What it would like to be dead. Imagine yourself, but rather than alive, dead. Okay? I'm horrified. Remember, we've cast aside the afterlife.

As you'll swiftly appreciate, there is an intractable contradiction right at the center of this first actionable item. You cannot imagine what it would be like to be dead, because death is an absence of existence. There is literally nothing to imagine, because nothingness itself cannot be imagined. That's horrifying! It's happening!

There is no perspective, no view from nothingness, nothing to which it can be approximated. So that is the first recommendation. Realize that being dead isn't an experience. Death itself isn't really a thing at all. In Epicurus' words, death is nothing to us. To drive the point home, let's turn to the Roman poet Lucretius.

He was a saltier and more ironic Epicurean of a later generation, the first century BCE, whose unexampled poem, On the Nature of Things, fell afoul of early Christians because of its crypto-atheism. In the poem, Lucretius proposes an idea, later termed the symmetry argument, that hints at the second thing you should do to overcome the fear of death, which is try to recall what it was like before you were born.

Okay, I can't do that. I was maybe I don't remember. Okay, Lucretius, that's stupid as fuck. I don't remember.

Not how the world was, which is the task of historical imagination, but what it was like to be you before you were created. You'll discover that prenatal existence isn't something that can be thought about, much less experienced. The symmetrical part of the argument, of course, is that you have the very same difficulty in imagining what it is like to be dead. Okay, but here's my thing. I've already got, I've got notes and I've got questions and I've got commentary, but

That does scare me of like there being nothing before and nothing after. And it makes the miracle of life that much more of a confusing, confounding miracle that like against all odds, I should not be here. You should not be here. We should not be here yet. Life prevails. Beauty prevails. But at the same time, pain and suffering prevail.

So what's that fucking quote? "Is it better not to have lived?" Is it better to have lived than not to have lived at all? Is it better to love than not to have loved at all? All those things wrap up in the same feeling of, obviously I'd much rather be alive. I think that's what freaks me the fuck out the most. I love being alive. I love life. I have a passion for life. Life is my number one special interest.

And the fact that that could be taken from me is horrifying. I don't, I want to, I don't want it. Let's keep reading. Already cried once. We're not going to cry multiple times in the same episode, even though I've done it before. No doubt you don't fear your prenatal existence. So logically speaking, given their equivalence, it follows that you should fear death the exact same amount, as in not at all.

Common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness. This brings us to the third thing to do to calm your existential angst: examine how much nothing, non-existence, can reasonably be feared. That is, are there any good reasons for your pending death to trigger the emotion of fear? It is reasonable to be fearful of things to the extent that those things can cause you harm.

It was reasonable to be jittery about nukes during the Cold War era. It is reasonable to be scared that humanity is turning the globe into a sauna. And it is reasonable for your heart to launch as from a trebuchet into your throat when your partner says to you the words, we need to talk.

These are all identifiable threats that foretell awful experiences. None of them would help us in our Epicurean goal of being happy, and so are reasonably feared. But death itself, not the process of dying, which is something different, doesn't seem to be the sort of thing that one can reasonably be fearful of, because it isn't anything.

It's not uncomfortable or hurtful to be dead. It's not as if you're being deprived of life or of more contented years because, again, you simply aren't there to be deprived in the first place. For you, there's nowhere to locate the harm of being dead since being dead is in a state of being. It's not something that, strictly speaking, happens to you, and so it can't be harmful. No one would say St. Francis of Assisi is more dead than Pankhurst.

The Epicurean argument against the fear of death concerns only your own self and its dissolution. When I think through these steps, I find that their efficacy

Efficacy is largely dependent upon my mood. I like the idea of being able to intellectualize away the fear of death, as if merely thinking philosophical thoughts would be enough to give me courage. And when I'm particularly despondent or detached from the world, perhaps there are glimmers of comfort from the argument that death is nothing. But commonly, this line of thinking doesn't completely allay the fear of death.

Epicurus recognized this. His argument by itself isn't strong enough to completely release us from the dread of a terminal existence. I doubt that anything is, or rather, I wouldn't trust anything that truly and fully did free one from fear of death. There are certain brands of fanaticism, for instance, that appear to do just this, with obviously horrific results. And by that, he's probably talking about, like, cults, like Heaven's Gate or David Koresh or whatever.

But as the contemporary philosopher James Warren emphasizes, Epicurus's argument should be borne in mind as part of a cognitive therapy for dealing with one's own life. It can have its fruits. It can lighten a little the fear of death, which in turn can subtly augment your enjoyment of life. And that is, on the whole, one of the great purposes of being here in the first place. Okay, so he says, enjoy your own fleeting time on Earth.

This is the final paragraph, and I think there's something here.

Without death, life would be nothing but a dire repetition, pointless and endless. Immeasurably long lives would eventually deflate into the most banal tedium. Millennia upon millennia upon millennia would have to be lived out, and even then, there would be an eternity to go. Eventually, the most sublime and wondrous experiences possible would become punishing in their drab familiarity.

Fortunately, this isn't a possibility that need concern us too much, but confronting the alternative to death brings home the point. No matter how terrifying it might be, the fact of death makes life more brilliant and precious. The time we have together in this place is fleeting. Let's spend it well. What the fuck? The time we have together in this place is fleeting. Let's spend it well. What the fuck?

Fine! Fine, I'll enjoy my life! Fine, I'll enjoy my life and find the whimsy in the finite! Fine, I'll go there! Oh, dude. Okay. I don't know if that helped, but it definitely offered some perspective. Shout out Epicurious, I guess. Epicurious. I don't know why I'm adding an extra yes in it. I think all this shit is so interesting, but it's also so much. It's so heavy.

But look, if my brain's going to take me there anyway, I might as well read about it and learn about it. You know what I mean? Let's do the songs of the week. Let's just, let's move on. Thanks for going there with me, team. Thanks for, sorry, if you had to click off, I understand. If you're still here with me, shout out. Shout out, you're a brave soldier. Here are my songs of the week. Exile by Saint Levant.

Get into St. Lavant, bitch. Palestinian rapper and singer-songwriter. I'm into it. And is he hot? Yeah. I've been getting a lot of clips of his live shows and I'm like, damn. Hey, hey. Nuts. And I get clips of his interviews too. He's just a charmer. He is a charming young gentleman. That's number one. Adventure of a Lifetime by Coldplay. This is a good one.

I love that song. Every time it comes on shuffle, I'm like, oh, greatest song ever made? Shut up. Turn it up. That one and Paradise by Coldplay, two of the best songs ever written. Ever, ever made. And then the last two are hosier songs. Y'all fucking hate me. Y'all hate me. Y'all hate every time I talk about hosier, you hate every time I talk about Florence and the Machine, you want to kill me. But I won't stop.

I won't stop. And you know, I'm still trying to figure out what my hosier tattoo is going to be, but it's one of those things where, you know, like I love the Rolling Stones. I love Rosalia, whatever. Those to me are very clearly identifiable things. Like for Rosalia, Motomami, that was a no brainer. I had to get Motomami on my sleeve. Rolling Stones, the lips, duh, that's it. For hosier, what I've been like waiting on is I have yet to find a piece of art to me that is like,

That embodies the way he makes me feel. That this embodies his body of work. This embodies what he signifies to me and the layers down to the core of my being that he's impacted me on. There's no singular line of a lyric or an album artwork or his logo that would mean that. So I've been struggling to find the perfect one.

I almost got a tattoo when Harry's House came out of what song is it? Is it Keep Driving or is it? No, it's Grape Juice. It's Grape Juice when he says, sitting in the garden, I'm a couple glasses in. That coincided with a lyric from a Beatles song that I've always wanted to get tattooed, which is sitting in an English garden waiting for the rain. And I was like, they're both English gardens. And I'm addicted to that concept of

This little, there's something very whimsical about an English garden. You think about like Peter Rabbit or what's that? Isn't it called the secret garden? Yeah. The secret garden. And then Johnny Depp in Neverland.

I think that's the name of the movie, Neverland. There's something very wimps. And it also brings me back to my childhood of just being outside. Imagine me playing outside. I did used to, but I used to, I was acting. Okay. I was using it as a backdrop. I was not on my knees in the mud, digging up worms and shit like that. I was like, obviously this scene would take place in the forest. That's what I was doing. So the scene that I'm directing, okay. Lean against this tree. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And then you're going to be holding this sort of stim, you're going to be playing with it just as a sort of, you know, fixation of the hands while you're speaking. That's more so what I was doing. But when it comes to this idea of an English garden, it's something in my mind that like should not exist. And therefore it's a portal to somewhere a bit more mystical because the English countryside is so, it's just got this ethereal nature to it, I think. So an English garden is,

The fact that two of my favorite artists have a similar line, I'm going to get that eventually one day. Like, that's a no-brainer. And that's also an homage, homage, homage to those songs because I love them. But yeah, for Hosier, it's just difficult for me to try to pinpoint one song or one because they're all so fucking good. You're spoiled for choice. And it's hard to say which ones impacted me more than another because that's just not how it works with his discography. So...

I'll keep you all updated on that. Anyway. Oh, the Hosier songs that I'm addicted to right now are Anything But from Unreal on Earth and Shrike from Wasteland Baby. Damn. That is an album I keep coming back to. I keep coming back to it because it's a work of art. Shrike. And that song is about a...

He describes it, but it's about a predatory bird. It's about a bird of prey that's very cute and tiny. And it impales its meals above its house. It's like in a cactus or something. I don't know. It's like a very nefarious bird. And he writes around this concept of a

Something so gentle and sweet being a predator. So yeah, I love that song. It's been on repeat lately for no reason. I just keep coming back to it. Okay, I think that'll do it for me this week. Go listen to The Sun by Brittany Broski if you care. If y'all even give a shit. And then if you want a Moomoo, go to broski.shop. And Broski Report merch. We've got that shit on. She's got that shit on though.

and subscribe to this YouTube channel. Rate me five stars, please, on Spotify and Apple Music. I haven't asked y'all to do that in a long time because I honestly forgot. I've been forgetting. So no pressure. Love you guys a lot. I really, really do. Thank you for letting me do this job. Thank you for letting me do this job. It is crazy to think that I ever was doing anything else because this is just, it's it. No, but I mean it. This is...

the happiest I've ever been. And it is the most fulfilled I've ever been. And it's the most connected to a community I've ever felt. And I'm just infinite. There are no words. There are no words. The best I can give you is myself, you know, as a form of thanks. I'm going to keep leveling up and I'm going to keep creating because that's what I have to give you in exchange for your love. So.

I just, I'm so grateful. And I don't say it enough. Okay, team, with that, fuck off. And I'll see you next week. Bye-bye.

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