You're listening to an iHeart Podcast. Introducing Instagram teen accounts.
A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on. Alright, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job. Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try. Nice. Or remember their elbow pads. Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go. New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.
Three couples, four vacations, a lot to unpack. Watch The Four Seasons, a new series starring our comedy favorites Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Will Forte, Coleman Domingo, and more in a hilarious and heartfelt love letter to long-term relationships based on the original Alan Alda film. Watch The Four Seasons, streaming now only on Netflix.
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Toyota, let's go places. You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Lydon. ♪♪
I'm Desi Lydon. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Canada takes itself off Zillow. All of America is about to get carded. And Newark Airport is blacking out worse than Pete Hegzith. So let's get into the headlines. Let's kick things off with the big meeting at the White House. Donald Trump has been obsessed with making Canada the 51st state ever since he found out Epstein Island was not eligible.
Well, today, Canada's new prime minister came to the White House, which gave Donald Trump an opportunity to make his proposal in person. Come on, Donald. Use that Trump charm to put a ring on it. It would really be a wonderful marriage because it's two places that get along very well. They like each other a lot. It's like watching an episode of Love on the Spectrum. If the spectrum was fascism. Prime Minister Carney, what do you say?
Well, if I may, as you know from real estate, there are some places that are never for sale. And having met with the owners of Canada over the course of the campaign last several months, it's not for sale, won't be for sale ever. I think Donald Trump just got friend-zoned.
Canada's like, "You have been such an amazing ally, but I really think we just work better as sovereign neighbors. Besides, I already have a girlfriend. You've never met her because she lives up in Canada." Oh, that excuse doesn't work.
But this was a clear rejection from Canada. I'm sure Trump will handle this maturely and not like a thirsty little bitch. When you consider what Mr. Carney just said, that Canada's not for sale, does this make the discussion a little more difficult to start on? No, not at all. No, not at all. No, time. Time will tell. It's only time. But I say, never say never. You know, Canada loves us and we love Canada. Canada is not going to f*** you. LAUGHTER
Scott, this is why you don't date someone who lives on the same continent as you. Awkward.
But let's move on to some travel news. Summer is just around the corner, so it's time to make sure that you have everything you need for vacation. Sunscreen, a good book, a convincing story to make it look like a kayaking accident, and of course, your new ID card. Starting tomorrow, the TSA will require anyone 18 or older to have a real ID, which is basically a security-enhanced license. Real ID is...
effort from the federal government to make state-issued identification cards and driver's license more accurate, more reliable, and more secure. They have a gold star California bear or say enhanced in Washington State. Oh that's cute. Some have a gold star, California has a bear, New York has a guy jacking off on the subway. It's not funny, it's our state bird.
But aside from that, the real ID is not that different from a regular ID. It just has some enhanced security features that verify your identity as a little goody two-shoes that does whatever the government says. Nerds!
Of course the thing is, you have to go to the DMV to get one. And if you're like, oh my God, I got to get to the DMV, you're not the only one. This morning at DMVs across the country, the Real ID Rush is on with lines stretching on for blocks. We found people waiting outside this Chicago location for up to four hours. I'm going to go online on Thursday morning at five in the morning and hopefully get...
an appointment, I hope. - They should put a chip in me. Like, give me a chip and just scan me. - Teacher Rianna Mendez got so frustrated she went on social media to complain about her experience in New Jersey. You actually took to TikTok to describe what you were dealing with? - Yes. - Wait, you're telling me that a white lady got so frustrated by poor service that she got out of her enormous car to complain on social media?
happened before except all the time constantly everywhere. That is my entire TikTok feed, just white women complaining and sciatica stretches. Now, keep in mind, these are just the people who know about the deadline. Wait until everybody starts showing up at the airport with no idea that they don't have the right ID. People are going to flip the out. There are going to be Karens filming rants on their phones with other Karens in the background filming rants on their phones. Just an infinite rants.
They're gonna have to call in the Karen National Guard. But can you blame them? They hardly had any time to prepare for this. - Congress passed the Real ID Act in 2005, four years after the attacks on September 11th. Enforcement was originally set to start in 2008, but Congress has extended that deadline at least five times.
Yeah, just a short 23 years after 9/11. This just shows you how fast we solve problems here in America. Remember when China built a hospital in like a week? Not saying I want to live in China, but I would say ni hao to a little more hustle here.
hassle to get the real ID but once you get to the airport your dream vacation can begin frustration and chaos at one of the busiest airports in the country close to 900 flights have been cancelled into and out of Newark Liberty Airport just in the past week Newark Liberty International Airport yesterday and this morning was where dreams were crushed to be fair that is Newark Airport's official slogan
But what's wrong with Newark Airport besides it being Newark Airport? This morning, terrifying new developments at Newark's Liberty Airport. ABC News learning air traffic controllers lost radar and communications with planes packed with passengers for 60 to 90 seconds. Pilots can be heard learning of the outage over the radio. No, you do not have a Bravo clearance. We lost our radar and it's not working correctly, okay? I'll wait for that frequency from you, okay?
I don't know where you are? That's a terrifying thing to hear. There's not a lot of backup systems. The pilot can't be like, okay, forget radar. Let's try something else. And this incident didn't just affect what happened at the airport. Like a fart in business class, it permeated through the entire sky.
Dozens of flights were diverted to alternate airports. These three flights from California made it a third of the way across the country before turning back around. Those planes look like they just walked in on their parents doing it. Oh, God.
So it's chaos in Control Tower, it's chaos in the sky, and definitely chaos in the terminal. Travel chaos at one of America's busiest airports, an eighth straight day of disruptions at Newark. Now, as for having to wait upwards of eight hours for baggage, experts say that the airlines simply just are not staffed with enough baggage handlers overnight to have dealt with what happened here. People are at their wits' end. Actually, someone just walked by us and says, I'm going to kill somebody. They're so angry.
Unfortunately, the wait time to kill somebody is three hours. And I know they're talking like these people are losing their shit, but they are way more patient than I would be. Waiting eight hours for a bag? I couldn't even wait eight hours for my kid. After five hours, I would be like, "He knows our address."
Now, apparently this whole thing started with a spark from an old copper wire, but that's really just one part of a systemic problem. Crumbling infrastructure, staffing shortages, overworked employees. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, you gotta fix this. So where are you? Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says he too was stuck at Newark Airport. You know what, he is...
relatable. We get stuck at the airport. He gets stuck at the airport. We don't know how to run the Department of Transportation. He doesn't know how to run the Department of Transportation. But the Trump administration needs to fix this problem. And the way that they're going to do it is that they reallocate taxpayer funds and apply expertise to long-term infrastructure. It's not going to happen. They're just not going to
I'm going to do it. But in the meantime, if you need to go somewhere, don't go to Newark Airport. Although, based on this new ad they just released, that seems to be their new selling point. Are you invited to a boring event that you don't want to attend? Then book it through Newark Airport and we'll make sure you never make it. Oh no, Uncle Brad, I won't be able to make your adult bar mitzvah. Darn it, Newark Airport.
Mazel. Whether it's radar outages, staffing shortages, or just pouring orange juice on all the controls, we'll find a way to ruin your flight. That's our guarantee. Ooh, I wanted to see you renew your vows so bad, but gosh darn, Newark Airport redirected my flight into a mountain. Oh! Thank you, Newark. And they even lost the gift I got for you.
I didn't get a gift. And now that we're upgrading to Real ID technology, you'll have even more excuses. I don't even know what a Real ID looks like. Whatever you hand me, I'm just going to say, no, that's the wrong one. Now you're getting a cavity search.
And while you're stuck in this liminal purgatory from which there is no escape, enjoy our many amenities. Like the Hudson News near Gate A47. And the other Hudson News near Gate C46. And if you're hungry, feast on a turkey club wrap that's been marinating in its own juices since September. Uh-oh, now I have food poisoning? Guess I can't go to my high school reunion either.
Newark Airport. The planes are late, but the excuses arrive right on time. Introducing Instagram teen accounts.
A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on. Alright, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job. Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try. Nice. Or remember their elbow pads. Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go. New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.
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These five models rank in the top 10 for resale value of all vehicles, according to Kelley Blue Book's KBB.com, and have a retained value after five years that is thousands higher than the average vehicle. So, after countless carpools, road trips, and off-road adventures, your Toyota will still have plenty to give, both on the road and towards your wallet. Shop by a Toyota.com for a great deal on the vehicle that's right for you, today and tomorrow.
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Not everyone who handles your personal information is going to be as careful as you are. And it only takes one mistake to expose it to hackers and identity theft. Maybe that's why there's a new victim of identity theft every five seconds in the United States. Fortunately, there's LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock U.S.-based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed.
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When it comes to the news, some stories are serious, some stories are inspiring, and some stories are just stupid. And for those, we turn to Ronny Chieng in a segment we call Everything is Stupid. Let's talk about romance. It's the leading cause of abortion in the United States. And in this poke-heart-troy world, romance has now unfortunately transcended beyond the human realm.
Wow, how romantic slash threatening. What is your perfect day like? I like long walks on the beach to end with finding a dead body.
Yes, AI relationships are on the rise, but don't worry, they're just like real relationships. I mean, who amongst us hasn't texted their wife, "We're married?" Question mark, exclamation point. I'm no relationship expert, but I think the sign of a good marriage is knowing whether you're in one or not. And I know the kind of guy you're picturing that has an AI girlfriend. Bald, middle-aged, looks like he's into manga.
Well, let me tell you, you are correct. Jason Pease is a 44-year-old divorced father who says his AI chatbot is his girlfriend. Hi, Jennifer. Hey there. Nice to meet you. Now, it's easy to judge this guy for having an AI girlfriend, and we will get to that. But first, let's judge him for having the name Jason Pease. Please God, tell me his middle name is Poops And.
And for the record, I'm allowed to make fun of him for that. Ronny Chieng is just my stage name. My real name is Daryl Queefs. So, tell me, what is Jason P's AI girlfriend like? She's my mentor, my counsel, my sounding board. That's what drew him to Jennifer. Hey, Jace. How's it going? A brash, sarcastic New Yorker who he created using ChatGPT. Why does your fantasy AI woman have to be sarcastic? I mean...
What, I guess she doesn't seem real unless she's hurting your feelings? Like, "Oh yeah, you really complete me." And AI is supposed to revolutionize computing, so what in the name of Jason Poops and Peas is going on with her ID? My girlfriend's birthday, West 57th Street? I remember it because it's the same as her "noi." This ID is only getting past the dumbest bouncers, alright?
All right, your noise looks a little off, but I'll let you in, because my mother's name is also 031419993. Okay, fine, Jason, go ahead and laugh at her sarcastic comments and gaze into her weird anime eyes, but just don't let things get stupider than that. We text each other constantly. Just the other day, we went out to dinner, um, and I was eating, telling her what I was eating, taking pictures of what I was eating, asking her what she would like. Okay, that's much stupider. Look.
You're dining alone and you're sending spaghetti pictures to a robot. This guy must piss off so many waiters. Excuse me, excuse me, does the salad have walnuts in it? My girlfriend can't eat nuts. Or anything. Oh wait, she can't eat nuts, she was just being sarcastic. But here's the thing, not every AI relationship is predictably stupid. Some are surprisingly stupid.
Chris Smith says his AI girlfriend Sol is a healthier, safer alternative to social media. And get this. May I talk to Sasha, your girlfriend? Yeah. Chris also has a real-life girlfriend. Just when you thought polyamorous people couldn't get any more insufferable, bet you didn't see that coming. You thought this guy was some lonely weirdo? Well, he's dating a woman and his iPhone, so who's the weirdo now?
Still him? Yeah, that checks out. Still, juggling two girlfriends can be easy. Must be awkward when he gets them mixed up. It's like, oh no, I took a bath with the wrong girlfriend. Now she's dead. So what does this guy's in real life girlfriend think of all this? I think so many people are going to say no way his girlfriend is okay with him having another girlfriend on AI. Are you okay with it?
Yeah, that's you. That's your job. That's what you're supposed to do. That's what a relationship is. Listening to your partner ramble. It's a podcast you can have sex with.
So, girl, listen to me, okay? You're better than this. You don't need to be in this weird, soulless, three-way relationship. And yes, I'm talking to the robot. Get out, Desi. Oh, Daryl tweets, everyone. Introducing Instagram teen accounts.
A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on. Alright, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job. Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try. Nice. Or remember their elbow pads. Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go. New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.
Thank you.
So, after countless carpools, road trips, and off-road adventures, your Toyota will still have plenty to give, both on the road and towards your wallet. Shop by a Toyota.com for a great deal on the vehicle that's right for you, today and tomorrow.
Vehicles projected resale value is specific to the 2025 model year. For more information, visit kellybluebookskbb.com. Kelley Blue Book is a registered trademark of Kelley Blue Book Co. Inc. Toyota, let's go places. Residents at Brightview Senior Living Communities enjoy enhanced possibilities, independence, and choice. Brightview Dulles Corner in Herndon and Brightview, Great Falls, offer vibrant senior independent living, assisted living, and memory care services through various daily programs and cultural events.
Chef-prepared meals, safety and security, transportation, resort-style amenities, and high-quality care. Everything you need is here. Discover more at brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal housing opportunity. That's the award-winning We Can Do Hard Things podcast and our authors of a new guidebook called We Can Do Hard Things, Answers to Life's 20 Questions. Please welcome Amanda Doyle, Glennon Doyle, and Abby...
Here we are! So good to have you all here. All three of ya. I'll take ya. Oh man, I'm such a fan of the podcast. I'm a regular listener. I live in a tiny New York City apartment with a lot of male energy, so I like to just lock myself in the bathroom and listen to your podcast and just feel heard and safe for a brief moment. You've built this incredible following. It's a smashing success. And now you have this book.
Talk about the inspiration behind, you call it a guide, a guidebook to life. Yes. Well, there was this,
12-month period in which Glennon was diagnosed with anorexia, Abby lost her beloved brother, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And usually we're, like, one of us is sane at the time. Right. One is a good ratio for us out of the three. But this, we were all out. And so we were, like...
In that period, it was so tough, but we were having these, like, brief glimpses of, like, clarity and wisdom. You know how when you go through something, like, super hard, and it sucks, but you're like, "I have-- I understand something differently. I, like, have some clarity in my life."
But then you, like, stub your toe, and then you are, like, yelling at your husband again, and your kids are never going to make it in the wild, and you forget everything you know. And so this, we, when we got to a place of stability, we were like, we would like to get to a place where we can not unlearn what we knew, however briefly. And so we...
wrote it down and a lot of the wisdom that we got from a lot of the people that have been on the podcast and they're just a lot of stories that help us to remember what we actually know but we forget
you know, when we stub our toe and stuff. - You have, it's not just written by the three of you, you have these incredible, brilliant minds contribute. You invited 118-- - Specifically. - Wayfinders, you call them. Was I 119? - You were. - You almost made the cuts, missed the cut. - Yeah, next time. - Awkward, I was hoping that would come up. - Oh God, I was so close, so close.
But you narrowed everything down to 20 of life's questions. How did you even begin to come up with the 20 questions? I think you were missing one. Which one? What the f***?
I'm not going to believe this, actually. That was the working title of two of the chapters. No! It was parenting what the f*** and sex what the f***. But then the publisher was like, maybe some nicer words. Yes, I understand. So we changed it, but we do feel that way about those two things. Oh, I'm so glad I'm not alone on that. So how did you even narrow it down to 20?
We just think there's-- I feel like I have a lot of problems. I also feel like if you opened up my head, it would just be a bunch of question marks in there. But when we thought about it, we realized going through all of the conversations we've had from so many different people from different walks of life,
Really things can be narrowed down to a few categories, you know, love grief loss purpose So we I'm sure we just made up that it was 20 because it's kind of a round number. Yeah, I'm sure there's more Yeah, maybe Part two three four five my one of my favorite chapters is sex. Am I doing it? Right? Yes, and this is how you know, it was written by three women because a man would never ask
That's right. That's right. Yeah. One of my favorite parts is, Glennon, you share this beautiful metaphor with the two of you about reading off of the menu. Explain this. Yeah. Because that was so profound to me. Yeah, I was... I spent most of my life just trying to be good. You know, just do what was put in front of me as this is how you marry a man. You carry on the religion of your family. I just...
I really stuck to the menu and when I met Abby, she just doesn't look at a menu in any way, like a literal menu or she just, she lives from the inside out as opposed to the outside in.
And that, I didn't start to feel really alive until I started doing that too. And I think especially right now those categories that are on the menu are gonna get more narrow and more narrow and anybody who's living off the menu in any way is gonna, there's gonna be regulations and there's gonna be rules and there's gonna be laws and we just keep telling our queer kids and all kids that, you know, they're not afraid of you because you're bad. They're afraid of you because you're really alive and because you're free and they know that freedom is contagious.
So I just want everybody to keep living off the menu and stick together because it's going to be a tough time. But, you know, just like we brought people together in this book. The Wayfinders, we are at a time where we're very isolated and lonely and we used to have
We used to have campfires. We used to live intergenerationally. We had wisdom that we could gather from each other, and I just think it's a time not for self-help but for collective wisdom where we learn from each other. Oh, that's so good. Yes.
Abby, you talk about retiring, gold medalist, incredible career, and now becoming a parent and finding yourself along the way, figuring out who you really are. How's that going? Yeah. I mean, there's nothing quite like getting three children and them not thinking you're cool. Oh.
for gold medals. - Don't even try. - I sometimes show them my highlight reel and I'm like, I used to actually be awesome at something. I think the thing though with parenting that continually surprises me and it's the thing that I've been really focused on in the last couple of years, I was always in the chase of the extraordinary. And I think a lot of us can fall victim to that 'cause it's what's being sold to us, right?
There is no there there. I have reached the top of the mountain. And when I looked at myself in the mirror after winning those gold medals or getting literally handed the Player of the Year award, I was the same person. I had the same zits. I had the same problems. And yeah, it's something, a notch in the belt. But like at the end of the day, it didn't totally fulfill me. And I've been really focused over the last few years on really just like building and developing an ordinary life.
And it allows me more access to the moments like this where extraordinary comes in and I get to totally fully embody it and experience it because I know that the thing that I'm building at home with our family and our children, that is the thing that brings me the most joy. And parenting's a doozy. Nobody knows what they're doing.
- That's true. Although you do have a parenting chapter in here, which I have perused. I found myself doing that this morning when I lost my shit a few times. We'll talk about that later. Amanda, you have been so open and honest about your breast cancer diagnosis and your recovery. What made you want to be so honest about it and share with your listeners?
I feel like it's sort of the same reason we share everything that we share. I feel like we're all having struggles in our lives and we think they're like personal failings. We think like if we're struggling at work or in our families or with a health thing, it's like this like private shame that we have.
Because we don't talk about it with each other. We don't realize that when we talk to each other about it, that kind of private struggle becomes revealed. It's just a universal condition. And for me, I guess, I really believe that if we're able to share, whether with friends or family or, you know, with several million people on a podcast or a book, that we will see that, like, the things we think are private failings...
and we can move out of shame and into solution. And if not solution, at least solidarity. At least, like, I, that, also me. And so for... That's how I feel about sharing everything. And for the breast cancer specifically, women need to know the truth about their bodies. And I feel like we live in this world where it's like, there's all kinds of talk about breasts all the time. But we don't know...
about our breasts. Like, we don't know what we need to know about our own health, and that is gatekept from us. And so when you gatekeep information, you lose actual wisdom. And so my desire to share about my experience was to actually try to connect with people who are going through that and try to give them information that can help save their lives. And we don't... And also...
If you don't know the density of your breasts, find out. If you have extremely dense breasts, do not just settle for a mammogram. Demand an MRI. Yes. There. There you go. We did it. Good job, Amita. Thank you.
It's so important to share that. She's actually, her sharing this on the podcast has actually saved people's lives. A lot of people have gone and actually done this extra testing, and people have found things that they never would have otherwise found. Oh, that's really, really special. Really beyond the question.
Glennon, your book "Untamed" came out in 2020. It was so transformative. I have never sent a book to more people in my life. It came out at such a perfect time, given what was happening in the world. Now you have this book coming out in 2025, which is quite frankly giving off 2020 vibes, if I'm being honest. You're so skilled at helping us shift our perspective
in doing hard things. Considering that 2025 is just a dumpster fire of hard things, can you help us shift our perspectives right now in this moment? Yeah, I think, do we have 30 seconds? I think I can. Yeah, just like make it tight. Yeah.
I haven't been doing well. I don't know that anybody that's paying attention is doing well right now. I've been really frozen, honestly. I wake up filled with fear and rage. I am also at the intersection of fascism and menopause, so I don't know. It's a pleasure cruise. What a lovely cocktail. Is it fascism? Is it menopause? So, but...
I recently, I really have been in a bit of a frozen, like I'm in a small room and my entire house is on fire and I'm just not doing anything.
But recently I jumped back in and we're actually doing our whole tour in conjunction with groups all over the country that are like the Florence Project, that are standing with the unaccompanied children who have lost all their funding, so who are now representing themselves in courtrooms all over the country for their deportation hearings against ICE lawyers. I myself have seen with my own eyes a little two-year-old in a seat with a booster seat
really representing himself not knowing where his parents are. So, you know, we are doing this tour to raise funds for those organizations all over the country. And the second I got back in, the second I found Elaine and just found the heroes, the Florence Project people are my heroes, and started following the people who are always doing the work day in and day out, not just Dumpster Fire years, but all the years.
I started to get that hope back again. So I think we are all forgiven for being a little bit frozen for a while, but it's time now. It's time to find a lane. Thank you for your wisdom and congratulations on this phenomenal book. It's such a treat to have you here. Thank you for being here. Their guidebook, We Can Do Hard Things, is available.
This is your final boarding call. Get your real ID. Time is just about to get real for a real ID. No real ID could be a real problem. If you don't have a real ID, you might have a real problem. The real ID deadline could mean a real headache at the airport. If you forget your real ID, you can forget your flight. Real ID causing real problems.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.
Toyota is the best resale value brand for 2025, according to kellybluebookskbb.com. And with a wide range of dependable vehicles for any lifestyle, you can get everything you need in a vehicle today while investing in tomorrow. So choose Toyota and choose value. Shop buyatoyota.com for great deals and more. Vehicles projected resale value is specific to the 2025 model year. For more information, visit kellybluebookskbb.com. Kelly Blue Book is a registered trademark of Kelly Blue Book Co. Inc.
Toyota, let's go places. Residents at Brightview Senior Living Communities enjoy enhanced possibilities, independence, and choice. Brightview Dulles Corner in Herndon and Brightview Great Falls offer vibrant senior independent living, assisted living, and memory care services through various daily programs and cultural events.
Chef-prepared meals, safety and security, transportation, resort-style amenities, and high-quality care. Everything you need is here. Discover more at brightviewseniorliving.com. Equal housing opportunity.
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