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Today, teens can download any app from app stores, even ones parents don't want them to. Congress can change that by putting parents in charge of teen app downloads. That's why Instagram supports federal legislation requiring app store parental approval and age verification for teens under 16. Three out of four parents agree they should approve teen app downloads because giving parents control helps keep teens safe online. Learn more at Instagram.com slash parentalapproval.
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You're listening to Comedy Central. America loves guns. Hell, I love guns. But I also hate guns. Another mass shooting in America. Another mass shooting. Yet another mass shooting. So I was wondering, what if there was a world where people could keep their guns and have no mass shootings? Woo-hoo!
Welcome to Switzerland, a neutral country most known for its cobblestone streets perfect for skipping, its clocks, sophisticated pocket knives, and guns. Turns out peaceful Switzerland is one of the most heavily armed nations in the world. And like America, they love their guns. Yet they have almost zero gun violence. How the f*** is that possible?
Luckily, I ran into an expert. Is that a gun in your pocket or you just... Oh, that's a gun. Meet Miko. For 20 plus years, he's been a firearms instructor for law enforcement personnel, military and special forces. He also happens to be one hunk of a man. So, Thor, tell me about Swiss gun culture.
We respect the guns because we have a mandatory service. Every man that goes to the army, they get a training and a rifle in case of invasion. Which, to be fair, is a real threat, since the last time Switzerland was invaded was in 1798, before color was invented. So of course they have a militia. The culture is a little bit different comparing to some other countries.
You're familiar that I'm American, right? You can just say these things to my face. You don't have to say other countries. I think the gun culture in America is getting out of hand. This is a joke. There should be common sense gun laws. Common sense. That's not our strength. Yeah, I've noticed that. Yeah, well, I can say that, but I don't like it when you say that. Okay. But what we do have is that good old American gun freedom. You know how easy it is to get a gun in the U.S.?
I just go to Walmart, give them the money, gun. I know. My uncle Paul, out of his truck, he's got a bunch of guns. My brother Todd has a gun. You want to use it? Boom, borrow it for the weekend. That's nice. Not really. In Switzerland, you can get a gun from your grandparents or from your father, but you still have to do the paperwork.
Even if I get a gun from my grandpa, I still gotta tell the cops about it? Yeah. That's crazy, because in most states in America, you can buy a gun almost immediately without any background check. But not in Switzerland.
You apply the permit from the police. You provide clearance of your criminal record that you don't have any convictions. Wait for two weeks. What if it's a small crime? What if you got caught urinating in public? You got caught for sleeping with your cousin because you didn't know it was a cousin because it was at your family reunion and she looked like she worked at catering. What if it's like assaulting a police officer but really you were just tickling him? If you can't be responsible of following some other simple rules in society,
To behave? Why should you have a gun? You don't need to raise your voice over this. Was there even a payoff to all these rules? How many school shootings have there been? None. What about malls? Have you seen people shoot? None. What about like major holidays? People get shot up at major holidays here? Nothing.
Come on, with all those guns, they had to have at least one mass shooting somewhere. After weeks of research, I discovered there was in fact one mass shooting in the Swiss Parliament in 2001. But they haven't had one since? You say, "increable." You had a mass shooting 17 years ago. We have one every 17 minutes.
This is something that I'm having a hard time comprehending. You learned from a mistake and you made an improvement in the law. That's so Europe.
And while Switzerland's last mass shooting was in 2001, America has had... No, keep going. No, more. More? Yeah, there you go. Over 1,900 mass shootings since 2012, averaging to about one a day.
which is why Miko felt I needed to be properly trained before I headed back to the States. We have to talk about safety first. Can I, like, like, with this one? Yeah, just leave it alone. Don't touch it. How are we gonna shoot it if I can't touch it? Let me explain you the rules first. So, number one thing that you have to remember is that you always treat the guns as if they're loaded, because probably most of the accidents that happens, happens with empty guns. All right, so this one here, this... Don't touch it. Don't touch it. I think you don't pay enough, you know, attention to what I'm saying. Okay.
I'm listening. So you just have to follow four simple rules. Number one, you treat the guns always as you should. Number two, you never format anything that you're not familiar with before. Number four. I got a feeling that you're not paying attention enough. What? No, I am. Let's do it. Let's blow some shit up. Miko, when you load these things, you ever get a little bit of an erection? Do exactly what I say, okay? Okay. All right, pay attention. Pay attention. Okay, and slowly press back until the gun goes off.
Jesus! This scares the shit out of me. I'm glad we had that safety instruction. This is the dream. Shooting guns without the fear of getting shot? This is where America should be. All we need to do is keep ammo separate and have universal criminal and mental background checks, have extremely strict open carry laws, justification for ownership, send written requests to authorities, and... basically just change our entire gun culture. We can do that, right?
It's not really that fun when you keep shitting yourself. You get used to it. No, this isn't a green screen. This is real disgusting Switzerland, a neutral country full of non-combative chocolate-eating yodelers. And they're also full of guns. In my previous report, I trained with firearms expert Miko. Miko, look, I shot some holes in the Swiss cheese. You get... I put the...
I learned that when it comes to gun culture, Switzerland has a few more regulations than America. And thanks to these gun regulations and strict ammunition control, Switzerland has a murder rate of nearly zero! Sure, that's a great statistic, but how safe can it really be? To learn more about their gun culture, I attended the world's largest annual shooting festival right here in... Holy , that's a lot of guns. Even that baby has a gun.
There's not enough training in the world to prepare me for this, so I brought my two secret weapons: my translator, Pierre, and my super manly, rock-hard American vest. Why are you wearing a pussy vest? What did he say, Pierre?
- Pussy vest. - Ah, that's funny, pussy vest. Why aren't you wearing a pussy vest? People are walking around with guns. - Because it's safe. - Oh my God, what is that? What is that, hold. - Oh my God. - They're shooting, no worries. - They're shooting. - They're shooting over there.
How many accidents have happened here? Nine. Nine accidents? No. Nine accidents? No, no, no. Zero accidents. Zero? Zero. Zero. I thought you said nine. Nine. Okay. It's a German language. It's a German language. I know in the United States, this is dangerous. But in Switzerland, we have tradition. Tradition. We have rules and this...
We haven't the rules! Rules? What kind of rules let little kids participate in this glocktoberfest? You love shooting? Oh yes. Why? It relaxes me. We take our time, we breathe. So it's like yoga? Yes. They also throw booze into the mix because pourquoi pas?
It's a national party. Oh, here comes the beer, everybody. Let's let the beer walk through. We've got rifles and then beers. We come in here with the peoples, with the friends, and la-la-la-la. The beer. La-la-la-la-la beer. We make the...
Yep. And it's finished. Well said. Guns and beers. This was an American wet dream. But something was different in this country. We respect arms, and if we respect it, it's not a problem. Why should I listen to this drunk Swiss roll?
I was president for five years. You're telling me I'm having beer with the former president of Switzerland? Yes. Cheers. Nowhere else could a former president be surrounded by thousands of firearms with no security. How could we get America to feel this safe?
That's your problem. That's my problem. Well, that's as neutral as it gets. But he's right. It is our problem. I mean, here they can shoot guns, drink beer, and no one gets hurt. In America, something like this could never happen. I decided to embrace this culture and hang with the only group that would let me in. Wow. Yeah, you guys got AR-15s here, huh? Meet the Shooting Society of Prez.
It was time to show these Swiss fondues how Americans shoot guns. I missed? You missed, yeah. How did I miss? What do you know? You're 10 years old. You probably never even kissed a girl. You ever take your gun to school? No. No? We don't are American. You're not American? No. Okay, well, I can say that, but he can't. He's f***ed.
Swiss kids, huh? Even if it is true, because the fact is, for Swiss kids, life with guns is very different. Nothing happens. It's not like in the U.S. where you have those mass shootings. So your son, when he goes to school, he just has to worry about school? Yeah, kind of.
Catching the bus sometimes. Unlike America, Switzerland has found a way to peacefully coexist with firearms. Shot, shot, shot. Oh, shit. Whoa, whoa. And one of the main reasons is that while these gun owners may be loaded, it's actually illegal for their guns to be loaded when not in use. We got beer, we got guns, we got food.
I feel like I'm growing another testicle down here. So America, if we're going to insist on being a nation of gun nuts, we could at least try and Swiss things up. Today, teens can download any app from app stores, even ones parents don't want them to. Congress can change that by putting parents in charge of teen app downloads. That's why Instagram supports federal legislation requiring app store parental approval and age verification for teens under 16.
This is Doug Gottlieb for The Doug Gottlieb Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Get a hold of yourself.
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Right now I'm standing on top of Lake Erie. Well, I'm actually on a boat that's on, you know how that works. Recently, the residents of Toledo, Ohio voted to make Lake Erie a person. What does that even mean?
All right, can we go back? I think I'm going to puke. Local activist Marky Miller is one of the human people responsible for getting the Lake Erie personhood initiative passed. Our premise was to change the notion that nature is merely property and that if you own the permit, that you get to destroy it to harm it.
So by giving Lake Erie its own set of rights, we have a better way of enforcing protections. How far can this go? A lake is a person? What's next? Is a swimming pool a person? Is a dog a person? Is a child a person? Do you see how slippery this slope is? Well, much like, you know, a child, we often have someone else speak on their behalf. And I think that tends to be our relationship with Lake Erie, that we become trustees.
of this lake. - You can be honest here. I'm from Michigan. Anyone that's been down here knows the people here, they kind of march to their own drummer. - Sure. - Is this a sex thing? - Definitely not.
So making a lake into a person is clearly a weird sex thing, but Markey and her fellow conservationists have even more selfish motivations. The toxic water situation in Ohio that prompted the governor to declare a state of emergency. Lake Erie, a major source of drinking water, serves 400,000 people. We lost access to our drinking water for three days. It impacted 500,000 people. They couldn't bathe.
You couldn't touch the water. You couldn't do your laundry, wash your dishes. Water became a really scarce commodity. It wasn't available. - Ah, god damn, that's good. - We realized how vulnerable we were and how precious the resource was that it could be taken away just like that. - It is something that we enjoy, isn't it, as humans? - Yes.
But is turning your lake into a person really the best way to protect it? Apparently so. According to the Community Environmental Legal Defense Fund, which has successfully turned nature into persons in places as exotic as Ecuador, New Zealand, and Pennsylvania. Well, we describe it more as the right to live...
to flourish, exist, be healthy. But yeah, in our legal world, we use personhood rights. I mean, what is a person, Tish? Is this lake a person? It's living. It's living, okay. Yes, let's go that way. What about that river? Yeah, it's living and there's life all around it and in it and it's living. Is this a person?
Oh my God, Jesus, sorry. Why was that there? Why was that in there? What do you say to your critics that say, this is absolutely batshit f***?
And there's tons of opposition to giving Lake Erie the rights of a person, from farms, the state government, fishermen with IBS, basically anyone else trying to get rid of their toxic dumps.
BP was basically the sole funder of the campaign against the Lake Erie Bill of Rights. - BP? - BP, yep. - Black people. You know, I always knew, is that? - British Petroleum. - British Petroleum. Can we cut that? Can we put that part out?
British Petroleum. They do have a refinery not far off from Toledo, but I think that it was more about, you know, not wanting this idea of rights of nature to take off. But, you know, we do live here and we're not going to sit back and be poisoned. You know, Marky, I have to admit, when I came here, I thought it was bullshit, Marky.
I kind of thought you were this crazy woman who decided to make Lake Erie a person. But here you are on the battlegrounds every day fighting against big agriculture, fighting against the state of Ohio, fighting for this beautiful body of water. The real hero here, yeah, you a little bit, but even more so than that, I'm the one who's showcasing you. So if anything, I'm the hero.
And that's why I love this story. So maybe a person can make a difference. And maybe a lake can become a person. And maybe you can even get married to the handsome, sensitive correspondent who saved it. I do. Because true love is pure. It is deep. It is clear. It's perfect and it tastes sweet. Ah! Ah! Ah! Why didn't you tell me? There's something wrong with this water. Ah!
Meet the alt-right. White lives matter! A loosely connected group of right-wing white nationalists, known for chanting confusing conspiracy theories like: "Denude! Put up! Repress us!" All while dressed like kids whose divorced dads made their Halloween costumes. And these World War II reenactment rejects have one other thing in common: They are angry.
But what do they have to be so angry about? I'm a white guy. Things are great. Cops don't pull me over. I pull them over to ask for a bottle opener. Thanks, officer. No, you have a great day. There's no logical reason why the alt-right should be so angry. They're kind of winning. But what if there was a deeper reason for their frustration? Across the alt-right movement, leaders are telling young men not to masturbate. -It-- -Wait, wait, wait. What?
Clinical psychologist Dr. David Lay has a theory about why these young men are so angry. They're not strangling their pepes. They know how to masturbate. They're not going side to side, right? They know it's up and down. I don't think this is a technique issue. They are actually trying not to masturbate. It used to take me hours. Now it's like, you know what I mean? Well, I have one hand, so, you know, it gets lots of practice.
This guy masturbates. Dr. Lay explained that the main proponents of this no wank philosophy were the Proud Boys. Masturbation is lack of impulse control. The Proud Boys believe that not masturbating increases their testosterone and makes them more desirable to women, which brings up one question. Is it working for the Proud Boys? Research actually finds that less masturbation reduces testosterone.
So there's evidence that masturbating makes you a more masculine man. A lot of really good things happen in your body and your brain. But also research is finding that people who watch more pornography, they are more feminist and interestingly they develop more egalitarian values over time. You're right. I watch a lot of gang bangs and one day I thought, "Oh my God, women have it so hard."
This isn't fair. 95 guys and one girl? We need some better representation here. And the Proud Boys are just the tip. There are stroke shamers all over the alt-right. So Canadian psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson, he's leader in the alt-right movement in Canada, and he tells young men there's nothing noble about masturbating to pornography. That's terrible. I mean, what else are they gonna do up there in between periods of hockey?
That's noble, that's healthy. Exactly, that's healthy. David Duke, who was a former grand wizard of the KKK, he believes that pornography is a Jewish conspiracy to get young white men to masturbate instead of procreating, and so the white race dies out. What is it about the Jews with these guys? And speaking of which, this far-right moratorium on salami wrestling has been going on longer than you think. The Nazis taught young men not to masturbate,
Nazis. Nazis used sexual suppression as a way to increase malleability in people. If we can get people to give up masturbation, we can get them to do anything.
First they came for our fleshlights, and I said nothing. So it's not just the insidious beliefs, mob violence, and haircuts. The alt-right jacked this off the Nazis too? They're teaching these kids to hate themselves, to be ashamed of themselves, and then they can exploit them. Wow. They go down this rabbit hole of these extreme dangerous beliefs and become radicalized. So what you're saying is masturbation can save lives.
Definitely. You know what? Let's do it right now. Let's show 'em all. Let's go. I love talking to you, man. Come on. Take out your d-- We can't show you the rest of that interview, but I will say, when I think about these young people being manipulated into joining hate groups, it makes me very angry and-and-and frustrated and... Excuse me for one second. Anyway...
If you or anyone you know seems to be getting drawn into the alt-right, before buying that tiki torch, try lighting the one inside your khakis first. I'm Michael Kosta telling all you young angry men to stop hatin' and start baitin'.
Today, teens can download any app from app stores, even ones parents don't want them to. Congress can change that by putting parents in charge of teen app downloads. That's why Instagram supports federal legislation requiring app store parental approval and age verification for teens under 16. Three out of four parents agree they should approve teen app downloads because giving parents control helps keep teens safe online. Learn more at Instagram.com slash parentalapproval.
This is Doug Gottlieb for the Doug Gottlieb Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability. Get
Get in a Tundra with available i-Force Max hybrid engine delivering exceptional torque and towing capacity. Or check out a Tacoma with available off-road features like crawl control. It can take you beyond the trails. Toyota trucks are built to last year after year, mile after mile. So don't wait. Get yours today. Visit BuyAToyota.com for deals and more. Toyota, let's go places. Let's be honest. Most of us have a love-hate relationship with wired bras. We love the lift.
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Hi.
I'm Michael Kosta. And before I started covering the news on cable TV, I was a successful professional athlete. What sport? Tennis. Duh. I was ranked 864 in the world, so I was a natural to investigate the newest sport sweeping the nation. Video games?
Competitive video gaming, known as esports, is booming. There's even a training center with five training rooms and six locker rooms. The Olympics are considering adding esports. I went to California to a so-called training center in someone's garage to talk with these athletes about why video games isn't a sport.
What the hell is this? This was the Alienware training facility for esports Team Liquid, complete with scrimmage stations, a war room, PR department, a team coach, and even an in-house chef? The team's star, whose name is Taco, was acquired from Brazil's Top Team.
This is a real sport. You call yourself an athlete? Yes, of course. We compete, we go to tournaments, we travel a lot, we got some money. What does an e-sport athlete, Mr. Taco, do every day? -Just practice. -Yeah.
I'm a former professional tennis player. That's what I would call a real sport. There is an opponent and you would relish the opportunity to defeat them with your racket. What do you actually have to show for what you're doing? Come on, I have a really strong finger. - A finger? - Yes. This finger will kill at least one million people. - That finger has killed one million people? - Yes, at least.
Taco is referring to his kills in Counter-Strike, a game where guys shoot other guys before a bomb goes off, apparently. How is this a sport? I won the Ann Arbor Junior Open at 11 years old. How hard can it be to pound on these dorks?
What are you staring at, huh? I'm gonna whoop your ass next. - To the left, to the left. - To the left? You think it's-- Oh, Jesus Christ! I shot him four times, he shoots me once and I die? These games were clearly rigged against more muscular athletes. Oh, Jesus. How do I keep dying, Taco? But who's paying for these cucks to sit around all day and mash buttons? Apparently, guys like three-time NBA champion Rick Fox, owner of e-sports franchise Echo Fox. What are you doing with these nerds, man? You're a real athlete.
And so are they. What the shit are you talking about? Me and you, we played real sports. You know, you could see our balls in our pants when we played. Were you an athlete? Oh yeah. Yeah. I played professional tennis. I was ranked 864 in the world. Oh okay, you went to a couple of tournaments? No, I didn't win the tournaments but it... How much money did you make in your career? I made $11,000 about.
But there's a whole system and I was right in there playing as a pro athlete. - Okay, in our era, I think there was no shame around pursuing a career in professional sports because you could get a scholarship to college, which by the way, you can get as an eSport player now. There's a number of colleges that are building eSports arenas on their campuses. - This is all great, but let's get down to brass tacks here. How much do these eFleets make? - Probably the best
What? And while players like Taco made over $800K last year, other top gamers earned upwards of $4 million. And thanks to advertising and sponsorships, revenues will top $1.4 billion this year! $1.4 billion? Are you kidding me?
But what really makes it legit is Vegas sports books take bets on it. So I did what anyone would do. Sold my dog for $3,000 and put it all on Team Liquid at the Barclays Center. I'll buy him back after I win. Amsterdam, London, Cologne, Montreal. I don't give a shit! You're in Brooklyn now!
This is the Barclays Center. This is where champions play and the Brooklyn Nets. We're gonna heal as a team or we're gonna die as individuals. Did I make myself clear? - Yeah, I did. - Come on! - All right, ignore all that and we just follow the game plan. Let's go guys. - It was time for Team Liquid to win in the semifinals and make me some money. - Team Liquid!
Let's go, baby. Let's go! It definitely felt like a real sport. These gaming gladiators were ready for battle. Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, Team Liquid versus Gambit. Click your mouse! They flexed their fingers. They clicked their buttons. They adjusted their headsets. Liquid! Taco! Liquid! Taco! Hey, let's start the wave! Starting over here! Watch the stairs. Watch the stairs. Oh!
They fought to outmaneuver, evade, and shoot their opponents heads off. And just when it looked like Team Liquid was on the ropes, they rallied. Our video game's a sport. Who cares? I'm rich. Time to try to buy my dog back.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts. This is Doug Gottlieb for The Doug Gottlieb Show. The Toyota Tundra and Tacoma are designed to outlast and outlive, backed by Toyota's legendary reputation for reliability.
Get in a Tundra with available i-Force Max hybrid engine, delivering exceptional torque and towing capacity. Or check out a Tacoma with available off-road features like crawl control. It can take you beyond the trails. Toyota trucks are built to last year after year, mile after mile. So don't wait. Get yours today. Visit BuyAToyota.com for deals and more. Toyota, let's go places.
PayPal lets you pay all your pals, like your graduation gifters. Who's paying for the mattress topper? You mean the beanbag chair? Aren't we getting a mini fridge? Can we create a pool on PayPal? It lets us collect the money before we buy. Ooh, yes, that's smart. Glad we can agree on something.
Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.
Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now. It pays to discover. Learn more at discover.com slash credit card. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report.