Trans Military Ban, J6 Pardon Aftermath, Sports War: Super Bowl Swifties | Lil Rel Howery
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This is Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Toyota has been building a legacy of excellence for years, from developing hybrid technology to upping the standards of safety and efficiency. Toyota is always innovating, always making progress. And with a superior lineup of in-stock SUVs, including the adventure-ready RAV4 and capable, affordable Corolla Cross, you can experience the legacy of Toyota for yourself. Visit

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This is The Daily Show with your host, Michael Kosta.

To The Daily Show, I'm Michael Kosta. We've got so much to talk about tonight. New press secretary who dissed Taylor Swift is going to the Super Bowl and the January Sixers have a new hobby. But first, let's get to the latest news in the Trump administration in another edition of The Second Coming of Donald J. Trump. I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come.

Today was the first press conference for Donald Trump's press secretary, Caroline Leavitt. And if you assumed she was a pretty white lady with a noticeable cross necklace, you were right. And of course she was Trump's press secretary during the campaign, but that was all about trashing Joe Biden. Now she's in an elevated position representing the White House. And she's here to talk about what the administration is going to do moving forward. When Joe Biden was in the Oval Office or upstairs in the residence sleeping, I'm not so sure.

Oh, shit! Didn't you see that coming, did you, old man, huh? Nailed your sleepy ass. But seriously, you get one, all right? So let's move forward. Today, everyone wants to know about the federal spending freeze that Trump's been doing. So what's that about? We've seen the Biden administration spend money like drunken sailors. Boom! Drunken sailors!

Everyone knows they spend so much money. All right, that's two digs at Joe Biden. Get it out of your system, all right? Now, I don't want to hear anything else about Joe Biden. The Biden administration and the Department of Agriculture directed the mass killing of more than 100 million chickens. My God, 100 million chickens?

Do you even know how many chickens that is? We've got to bring this man to justice. If you see a man in aviator sunglasses driving a Corvette 15 to 20 miles an hour, that man is Joe the Chicken Butcher Biden. The police have issued an APB for his arrest and to save time, a silver alert. Now...

Biden's gonna say he killed those chickens because of bird flu, but that is no excuse, okay? And it's not okay to just kill chickens unless you bread them, you fry them, put them between two pieces of white bread, put two pickles on top. Mm, that's lunch.

What was I talking about? Let's move on. Let's move on. Because while the press was attending the roast of Joe Biden, Donald Trump was busy getting our military in shape so he can finally fulfill our country's month-old dream of conquering Greenland. And...

First, we're going to need to have as many troops as possible. President Trump has signed several executive orders to reshape the military, including directive banning transgender service members. Okay, did I say as many troops? I mean fewer troops, right? You know what they say in the army, less is more. Look, maybe they don't say that. I don't know, but that's...

Look, I don't have a problem with transgender soldiers. As someone who pees himself anytime he hears a loud noise, I think we should be grateful to anyone who's willing to put their life on the line so I don't have to. But hey, yeah. Okay. I'm open-minded about being closed-minded, so what

what's the issue here? President Trump signed an executive order calling transgender people unfit to serve. One part says being transgender is, quote, not consistent with the humility and selflessness required of a service member. Another says being trans conflicts with, quote, an

honorable, truthful, and disciplined lifestyle, even in one's personal life. Yeah, well, look, you know, it makes sense that the military has to be honorable, truthful, and disciplined. You know, sure, this is your secretary of defense, but that's all the more reason, more reason that the rest of them have to have their shit together. It's like how every Beatles album had to be packed with hits to make up for that one song that Ringo wrote about wanting to f*** an octopus or whatever. Yeah.

I gotta say, the military sure has a lot of ethical rules for their mission of killing people. Hey, you want to blow some guy's head off? You better say please and thank you.

But to be fair, Trump had another argument against trans soldiers as well. They specifically cite readiness with transition surgeries. If you have a transition surgery, the recovery time and the narcotics that you have to be on as part of the process could affect your readiness for up to 12 months. Oh, up to 12 months. Do you know how long our wars last?

I think they'll have you back in the game in no time. Vietnam War, 11 years. Afghanistan War, 20 years. Even our storage wars last 15 seasons.

First of all, transgender people make up 0.1% of the military. So, Commander-in-Chief, you're ruining the lives of people who are dedicated to serving America while doing nothing to affect the larger military. I don't see why a transition surgery should affect readiness more than any other surgery. Trump is acting like they're doing transition surgeries on the front lines. Medic! I need a medic over here. We gotta get this guy a labia. Stan!

Also, what do you mean readiness? Modern war is just telling a drone to drop bombs. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what your sex is to go like this. That's how they drop bombs.

But Trump isn't just doing bad things to good people. He's also doing good things to bad people. It's been a week since he pardoned everyone who had a normal tourist visit to the Capitol on January 6th, and I'm sure they're making the most of their second chance, right? A man pardoned by President Trump for his role in the January 6th riot was shot and killed by an Indiana deputy during a traffic stop. Okay, well, except for that guy. I mean, that guy really wasted a presidential pardon. Am I...

Look, if I ever get a presidential pardon, I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to get shot to death. So what exactly happened there? Police say the deputy tried to arrest Matthew Huddle on Sunday, but he resisted and the deputy shot him. Investigators say Huddle had a gun. Hmm. A routine traffic stop ending in the police shooting a man they claimed had a gun. Ordinarily, this is the kind of thing liberals would cry police brutality. But if it's a January 6th, sir, you know, I've...

I have a feeling they're going to be like, oh, look, we need to back the blue on this one. Liberals are getting so much whiplash trying to decide if this cop is bad or good, Rachel Maddow is going to be the neck brace. But aside from the ones who are dead...

All the rest of the January 6th rioters who Trump released from prison must be so happy right now. Houston authorities are trying to find a man pardoned by Donald Trump for his role in the January 6th riots. Andrew Take is wanted for a 2016 charge of a solicitation of a minor. Okay, well, not that guy also.

Stop. But look, any group as large as the January 6th crowd is going to have one sex creep in it. You know, there's probably one in our audience right now. Raise your hand if you're a sex creep. That guy in the plaid shirt, that woman. Sir, come on.

The point is all the rest of the partners are they're fine. They're doing fine. A mid-hill man who pleaded guilty to his involvement in January 6th is possibly facing other charges. Court documents show David Daniel is facing child pornography charges. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? I'm starting to worry that the people who broke into the Capitol and took a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk are not upstanding citizens. You know what? Forget about those two pedophiles.

Andrew Kyle Grigsby of Louisville, who was pardoned for spraying Capitol Police with bear spray, is currently incarcerated in a Kentucky prison for two counts of child pornography. Jesus Christ! At this point, it might have been better for them just to stay in prison, you know? At least then they were heroes. Now they're all going to individual prisons for child pornography. Like, so, uh, do you guys have a choir? Yeah.

For more on the fallout of these January 6th pardons, we turn to Troy Iwata. Troy, it seems like a lot of these people who got pardons have other problems with the law. Yes, Michael. I don't want to overgeneralize, but it does seem like 100% of them are sex criminals. Okay.

That does seem like an overgeneralization. It does, doesn't it? You know, that's like saying all trans people are unfit to serve in the military. It's ridiculous. Okay, okay. Well, how are the police going to recapture these people who are wanted for sex crimes? Oh, I don't think the police would waste their time on these silly predators. But hey, Random, did you know they're certifying Joe Biden as president again right in the Capitol building over there?

It would be a shame if any January Sixers stormed in there to stop him from taking power. That looks like a prison. No, no, no. This is the U.S. Capitol, obviously. And they are about to certify Joe Biden right over

Just past those heavy barred doors of the Capitol that lock from the outside. Troy, is this an elaborate sting to catch the child predators that did January 6th? Shut the f*** up, Costa.

This is a very real thing that's happening. Oh, oh, look, look, there's Mike Pence just walking around with his neck fully exposed. And oh, no, a whole bus just broke down and it's full of junior cheerleaders. Will no one help them? Come on, Troy. Troy, they're not going to they're not going to buy that. You're right, Michael. The people who thought the election was stolen can't be tricked.

Oh my God! Nancy Pelosi's desk just walked by. And it's looking clean.

It would be a shame if someone re-shat on it. Her desk just walked by? It did, alongside Hunter Biden and the whole cast of High School Musical, the musical, the series. And all of them want to try this Mike's Hard Lemonade? Fun! You better get down here, patriots, because their parents won't be home until morning. Good luck. Troy Iwata, everybody. Yay!

When we come back, we go to war with sports. So don't go away.

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so you can understand what's driving your portfolio's performance. Public is a FINRA-registered, SIPC-insured, U.S.-based company with a customer support team. Bottom line, your investments deserve a sophisticated platform. Fund your account in five minutes or less at public.com.

Thank you.

Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. This is Doug Gottlieb from the Doug Gottlieb Show here to tell you that Toyota's legacy has been standing tall for generations, from pioneering hybrid technology to redefining the standards of safety and efficiency.

with each innovation, a renewed commitment to progress and with Toyota's legendary lineup of trucks in stock at your local Toyota dealer, you can experience the legacy for yourself. So check out the ultra rugged new Tacoma built for off-road adventure or everyday practicality or test drive the heavy duty half ton Tundra decked out with modern tech and comfort with a hauling

Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say...

Politics rules, but sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war. Get ready for battle. It's time for Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. Fiscal responsibility. Fiscal responsibility. Oh!

What's up, numbs? I'm Roy Chang. And I'm Michael the Raw Dog Costa, and this is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other. That's right. So if I say football games should only be played indoors, then I say every game should be played like that scene in Top Gun, shirtless, on the beach, and in slow motion. All right.

All right, but let's get to the biggest story in sports right now. We got an NFL Super Bowl rematch for the ages. Philadelphia Eagles versus the Kansas City Chiefs. And that means all of our attention will be on one thing. Taylor Swift. The Kansas City Chiefs are headed to their third straight Super Bowl after defeating the Buffalo Bills. As the confetti fell, Taylor Swift joined in on the celebration, sharing a kiss with boyfriend Travis Kelsey. Just do it!

Make a little love. Sports betting sites, they're already coming up with prop bets. Like, how many times will you see her? What outfit will she have on? There's some gutsier ones. Like, will Travis Kelsey propose? Hell yeah, love is in the air. And I just spent all my heart medication money on it. Now, if Travis doesn't go down on one knee, he'll break two hearts. If Travis pops the question, I'm popping bobbles. In fact, I'm doubling down on a pregnancy parlay in November. Okay.

Hey, you don't know a thing about love, Costa. That's why it's so easy for me to catfish you into thinking I was a busty 25-year-old from Ukraine. Wrong again. I knew it was you the whole time. And I'm in love with you. What we have is real. Besides, I needed something to bet on since the NFL rigged the game for the Chiefs. Okay, look, the NFL is not rigged for the Chiefs. It comes down to talent. Okay, it's like calling this show rigged just because I win every argument, okay?

I got the brains of Bill Belichick, and you look like the son of Forrest Gump. Well, Mama always says Ronnie Chang's a huge piece of shit. Which brings us to our NFL big game bet of the week. Now, legally, we can't say the name of the big game in a bet, or the NFL will sue us, but I can present you my Super Bowl, spelled differently, bet of the week.

will the NFL declare the Chiefs winners before the start of the second quarter? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. You don't even have to know a shady Italian guy to do it anymore.

Now, look, the game won't all be about stupid love stories. The Chiefs will be taking on the Eagles, and Philly is already practicing for a victory celebration. Philadelphia's Eagles fans spilled onto the streets celebrating their big win. This was the scene as tens of thousands packed Broad Street. Philadelphia's mayor, Sherelle Parker, tried to fire up fans. She let a chant spelling the team's name, Eagles. Let me hear you all say, L-G-E-L.

You're out of the spelling bee. Now step aside and watch an Indian kid crush your dreams. This kind of behavior is exactly why the Eagles don't deserve another championship. Their fans don't even care enough about the team to spell their name right. Even Ronnie can spell Eagles, and he can't even speak English. All right.

I wish I didn't speak English. My life would be so much better if I couldn't understand you, all right? This is exactly why I love the Eagles. Even their fans have CTE. The last time the Eagles won the Super Bowl, a fan voluntarily ate horse shit to celebrate, even though no one asked them to do it, okay?

Meanwhile, the streets of New York City are filled to the brim with horse shit because it's been so long since either New York team won a Super Bowl. So please, win already so Costa can start licking these streets clean. Which brings us to the Ronnie's Soup or Bowl Bed of the Week. Which animal's feces can I trick Costa into eating? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. Home ownership is a burden. All right.

All right. Stop laughing. Let's move on from the NFL to a story none of you have seen because it's about hockey.

The Washington Capitals escaped with a 3-2 road win over the Oilers last night in a game that Capitals goalie Logan Thompson might argue should not have been so close. That's because Thompson says he was distracted by a tray of nachos on the ice as he gave up a goal in the third period. Two among us, really. The nachos, having been tossed onto the rink by a fan, did not interfere with Oilers players as they skated into the Capitals zone and took the shot from a few feet from the discarded snack.

Wow, these athletes have become so soft they're getting their ass whipped by nachos? Hey, let hockey fans be part of the game and throw whatever they want on the rink, okay? Popcorn, divorce papers, their most aerodynamic children. You brought them to a hockey game, you're already a bad father. Man, shut your fucking mouth, Ronnie, all right?

These nachos created a dangerous situation for players who should have been focused on beating the teeth out of each other. Plus, it's really hard to do your job when a stupid, annoying piece of trash is in your peripheral vision. In that analogy, Ronnie, you are the wet, cold, trash nachos. Boom. The raw dog is killing it tonight. How's that raw dog costa queso tasting? Which brings us to our Michael Kosta's super bowel bet of the night.

How many people would mourn if Ronnie slipped and drowned in a vat of nacho cheese? As always, brought to you by gambling. Gambling. Your mom's ATM pin is probably your birthday. All right, well, that's all the time we have for today. Join us next week when we debate if a tie really is as bad as kissing your sister. Well, I can tell you from personal experience, it's not nearly as hot. How would you know that? Kiss your sister. Kiss your sister.

If you're serious about investing, you need to know about Public.com. That's where you can invest in stocks, options, bonds, and cryptocurrency. You'll get some of the highest yields in the industry, like the bond account 6% or higher yield that remains locked in even if the Fed cuts rates. What sets Public apart is they give you the tools you need to make informed investment decisions. Their built-in AI tool called Alpha doesn't just tell you if an asset is moving, it tells you why the asset is moving.

so you can understand what's driving your portfolio's performance. Public is a FINRA-registered, SIPC-insured, U.S.-based company with a customer support team. Bottom line, your investments deserve a sophisticated platform. Fund your account in five minutes or less at public.com.

Public.com slash disclosures.

This is Doug Gottlieb from the Doug Gottlieb Show here to tell you that Toyota's legacy has been standing tall for generations, from pioneering hybrid technology to redefining the standards of safety and efficiency. With each innovation, a renewed commitment to progress, and with Toyota's legendary lineup of trucks in stock at your local Toyota dealer, you can experience the legacy for yourself. So check out the ultra-rugged new Tacoma built for off-road adventure or everyday practicality, or test drive the heavy-duty half-ton Tundra.

decked out with modern tech and comfort with a haul anything attitude. And both Tacoma and Tundra are both available with the i-Force Max Hybrid powertrain, giving your truck more power than ever before. Quality, reliability, efficiency, that's the legacy of Toyota. Visit buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals, to find out more. Toyota, let's go places. Welcome back to The Daily Show.

My guest tonight is a comedian and actor who stars in the new animated film Dog Man. Please welcome Lil Rel Howery. Look at us. We're looking good. No, you look great. I look cold. No. Uh,

This movie's fun. This movie's fun. I mean, you've been performing for everybody for many, many years, but this is a kid's film. Yeah. Tell me about knowing they're going to be listening and watching. You change up your strategy at all? All I did was not curse. Same energy, same. So in that clip, when the police chief is walking around with his hand and doing, are you doing that in the booth? Am I like taking my hat off? No, that's weird. No, I didn't do that.

You can see why I don't book a lot of animation. I send in all my auditions and I'm going like this. Now, why did you bring props? Yeah. It's voiceover. But you were told to bring some crazy extra noises? I mean, that's with any of this stuff. Because like with kids, you got to like be very, very, very, very animated. Yeah. And my kids pick on me because they, so I guess as a dad, I'm usually pretty chill like this. But my kids say I got a performance voice.

And so it's really irritating. Like, Dad, you know, around the house, you're like, hey, what's up? But then you're on TV like, hey, I'm Lil Rel, everybody. I'm like, shut up. Are your kids... It doesn't matter what we do. Our kids... Kids are so mean. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I kissed my daughter this morning, and she says, get away from me with your poo-poo breath. And Lil Rel, she's 31 years old. Are your kids proud of Dog Man? Are they older?

Thank you. Thank you. Are they proud of Dog Man? Do they care? Yeah, well, I read the books to them. They're teenagers now, so, like, you know, they're always excited about all the projects I do, but they're really excited because, like, the chief character, once again, my kids are bullies, you know what I mean? So chief is a lot like me because I'm always irritated, so my kids love laughing at me being irritated. So, like, when we go to dinner and somebody, like, messes my order and I start making my face, like, here you go. I'm like...

So, like, yeah, I'm a lot like the chief character because of that. Yeah. They like when you get mad. They love me being annoyed. It's just so... It's annoying how much... And then they're telling their friends. I'm like, got this group of teenagers all laughing at me, waiting on me to be annoyed. Right. Yeah, it's really... Teenagers are mean. Or like 31-year-olds are that say you have poopy boobs. Right, terrible. I can't believe it. Um...

You read these. So I was unfamiliar, but I love this movie. It made me laugh. A lot of little Easter eggs for adults as well in this film. But you read the book to some kids in the Bronx. Yeah, I did. Tell me about that experience. And how did they react? We have a couple pictures of that, I think. Look at you. Yeah, that's pretty great. Thank you.

He can read. Amazing reading. But you know what I'm laughing at? So I just turned 45 last night. Same. Thank you, brother. Nice. And so as you can see, I have my glasses off because I'm at the age where anything too close, I can't see it. Because I do have the glasses where you got the nearsighted at the top and the farsighted at the bottom. And I was trying to be cool in front of the kids, so I wore the ones that's just the one prescription. And so I was like, dang, I got to read. Yeah.

Right, it's not nothing is so I fell off a curb 2 days ago. I took the book out and I couldn't see it so I had to take this crazy we got explain some about being 45 to 7 years don't care right. Yeah, you know because I got to take these off because I'm 45 years old and I can't see I could see okay what chapter we are.

Who... So this... You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I did think about this when I was watching the film, because Dog Man is half dog, half man. Yeah. So who does he f***? Does... Does he f*** humans? Does he f*** dogs? And I promise you, no other press is gonna ask you this. Oh, you guys didn't think... Nobody thought about it. Right. Why y'all applaud this? Because I haven't really answered this question yet.

Oh, you really want to know? No, it's just a thought. First of all, you said that with the news anchor face, like, yo, what's the answer, right? But it's weird, because that's a great, really dark question. And you're a stand-up comic, and so you appreciate the f*** up situation. Yeah, because I'm like, I'm scared. Well, I can't say what I want to think, because we're still doing press for this movie. Yeah, yeah.

But your stand-up, you've been doing stand-up specials. And in this last special, well, you've talked openly about how vulnerable you've become in some of your stand-up. And you even spoke openly about some of the therapy you've tackled. Oh, yeah, I love therapy. Tell me about it. I love therapy. Give it up for therapy. You get therapy, and you get therapy, and you get therapy. Talk to me about the love of therapy, because it's nice to have two men...

openly talking about therapy. Yes, it is. And those are the women that are trying to bring us down. You know something? It's changed my life in so many ways. I think it's made me a funnier comic because it's not everything from a very dark place anymore. I'm able to just pretty much talk about anything. But therapy has been so beautiful. I'm at the happiest I've ever been because I've been able to unpack things over time. You're...

You're a busy guy. Are you doing, is it like phone therapy? Is it Zoom? Are you in a, you know, on set like, and this is the way it made me feel and, you know, that type of thing. And then a PA knocking, hey, hey, time. I do both, actually. It depends on what my scheduling is because I do like going in person. It's just in person is always so crazy because, like, especially if you've been crying a little bit, it's like awkward when you leave. Yeah.

You can tell the therapist wants you to go because it's time. They keep doing this. Yeah. But you like this. And so they're like, yeah, so, uh... I get this.

I get the Zelle request for payment as I'm like shutting the door. But I'm like, oh, really? It's that transactional? I have to tell you that whenever my wife and I travel and something happens to one of us at TSA, I had a little pocket knife and they took it or the bottle of water. Wait, wait, wait. You brought a pocket knife? Yeah, yeah. I didn't know it was there.

I'm always armed. I got a bunch of crazy people. No, I had a little knife I bought upstate New York that I loved, and then I left it in my backpack, and it got taken. That's not the story here. The story here is that whenever TSA interrupts us, we always say your line from Get Out, which is, they're the TS motherfucking A. They handle shit. And I just want to know that you're in my life. You're in my marriage. I mean, that's weird. But you know what I mean?

I love that film to tell me a little bit about get out to get out fans and that character and this is.

You know, I'll say this, especially having a tagline. It's not too many times you can do a movie where you have something. Like, this was my Yippee-Ki-Yay mother****. So to have T.S. mother**** is still, like, one of my favorite. But I hate when I do go to the airport, and I always thought I'd have favor after doing a movie. Like, oh, yeah, they're going to look out for me. And they'll be like, oh, yeah, T.S. mother****, take your shoes off. Thank you.

Thank you very much for coming. Dog Man will be in the theaters everywhere January 31st. Lil Rel Howie, we're gonna take a quick break and be right back after this. Thank you. - Thank you. - Appreciate it. That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, your moment of zen. And now they're resorting to what? Telling us that Trump supporters can't eat Mexican food? - If you voted for Trump, you are not allowed in Mexico. No tacos, no enchiladas, none of that for you. - Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? You gonna come take it out of my ham?

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.

This is Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Toyota has been building a legacy of excellence for years, from developing hybrid technology to upping the standards of safety and efficiency. Toyota is always innovating, always making progress. And with a superior lineup of in-stock SUVs, including the adventure-ready RAV4 and capable, affordable Corolla Cross, you can experience the legacy of Toyota for yourself. Visit

buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals to find out more. Toyota, let's go places.