Trump Enters War on Showers & Kristi Noem Takes "Photo Shoot" Literally | Bowen Yang
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From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Lydon. Oh, welcome.

We've got so much to talk about tonight. Kristi Noem does border cosplay. The tariffs might make you rich. And Trump declares war on water. So let's get into another installment of Trump 2.0 coming for the White House. I'm going to come. I'm sorry. I don't know why we keep playing that. I'm sorry.

We're not going to show that clip anymore, okay? Let's get into the big story today. Donald Trump had a rough week. His beautiful economy crashed because some dum-dum came and tariffed every country on the planet. He tried to save it yesterday, but the markets are still crashing today because, again, some

absolute moron keeps ramping up a trade war against China. But in moments like this, there's one thing a serious leader does. Gather up all your closest friends on your payroll and make them say nice things about you. Thank you for your leadership and thank you for everything you're doing. Your leadership at the border, absolutely remarkable. I want to thank you as well for the shipbuilding. I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese Communist Party. What you're doing now, I think, is a great service to our country, but ultimately to the world. You are overwhelmingly elected.

by the biggest majority, the U.S. Americans want you to be president. Your vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history. Wow, what do you even say to that? I'm gonna come. No, stop!

Not that. But let's be fair, serving in Trump's cabinet isn't just photo ops at the White House. They also do photo ops out in the field. Although with Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem, this was less like a photo op and more like a photo... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch where you point that. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is taking heat today for her latest viral video. Here we are with Michael and Brian today. She's posing with two federal agents pointing a gun right at the agent's head.

Give it up for Friendly Fire Barbie, everyone. To be fair, this is Kristi Noem, and these agents were wearing dog tags. You know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe she actually shot her dog by accident while taking a family photo. Fido! Fido, get in here! Oh, never mind. Just...

So Trump's cabinet has been very active. At today's meeting, Tulsi Gabbard said she's going to stop election rigging. Pam Bondi said she'll seek a 20-year prison term for someone who vandalized a Tesla. And RFK Jr. announced that he'll get fluoride out of the water. So congrats in advance to your dentist on his new Bentley.

But don't worry, they're leaving the big issues to the president himself. The Biden administration launched what you've called a war on showers. Yes, the war on showers. A fight Steve Bannon has been on the front lines of his whole life.

Now, most people probably didn't even realize we were in a war on showers because no one in the Biden administration ever accidentally added a reporter to the war on showers group chat. But in all seriousness, I know the war on showers very well. OK, my uncle actually lost his leg from stepping on a bath bomb. It's never been the same.

But luckily, that war is now coming to an end. -Certain regulations that basically killed the water pressure of showers and other water appliances. With this executive order, we're effectively going to be reversing that set of regulations. -In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand in the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It's ridiculous.

It takes 15 minutes for your hair to get wet? Are you sure you're not standing in the pantry? Water pressure is terrible in here and we're out of Cheez-Its. But if you're as big of a Trump head as I am, you know that water pressure is not a new issue for him. He's been passionate about this crisis for a while. Take a shower and water comes dripping out. It's dripping out very...

Quietly dripping out. Sinks, right? Showers. You take a shower, the water doesn't come out. It's the shower, it's the sink, and you know the third element in the bathroom. People have to flush their toilet 15 times. 10 times, right? 10 times. Turn on the shower. Ding, ding. It goes drip, drip, drip, drip, drip. Please. Please.

Come out, the water. Come on, water. Come out, baby. Oh, come out, baby, please. Come out. Come out for daddy. Has he ever said anything more embarrassing? I'm going to come. Guys, guys, we did it. We found the one issue Donald Trump has stayed consistent on. It is literally the dumbest issue ever, but we'll take it.

This is still a major announcement, which is why Fox News deployed its most sophisticated journalism technique, talking to old people at a diner. Your thoughts about your chance of having water pressure strong again in the shower? That's just fine with me. I think you should. I think it ought to blow the skin off of it if you want it that way. We don't want to blow the skin off. The epidermis is quite vital.

All right, hold on, kill me. Don't act like that guy is the weird one. You're the one walking around a diner going, tell me what you do in the shower. By the way, why are you talking to the men in here? You got to talk to these ladies. That's a group of ladies excited about a stronger shower head. Am I right? They get it.

Still, I'm not sure the majority of Americans want their skin blown off. Anyone else want to chime in about water pressure? So tell me about what you picture now that water pressure will be great again. I have to sit there, stand there for two or three minutes for the water to even get warm. Yeah, that's a different thing. This is not just an open forum for general shower complaints. The water's too cold, and I don't like how it tastes. It should taste like Hawaiian punch.

Anyone in this diner Brian Kilmeade can have a normal interaction with? How old are you? I'm 12. Do you even remember the way it used to be in 2008 before Barack Obama came in? No. He just told you he was 12. Do you even know what year it is? Excuse me, little boy. Where were you for the moon landing?

A kid was born in 2012. He doesn't remember Obama as president. He's probably like, Obama, is that the guy who puts out the Spotify playlist? For more on these executive orders, let's go live to the White House with our very own Troy Iwata. Yeah!

Is water pressure really what Trump's going to be focusing on? Absolutely, Desi. And it's not just water pressure. A few minutes ago, he passed another executive order that says a shower faucet can't do that thing where you turn it and it's cold, cold, cold, but then super hot. There has to be a warm middle. If that makes sense, you know what I mean. Best wishes, DJT.

Best wishes? Yeah, I think halfway through he forgot it was an executive order and not a letter. This is the stuff that he's passing in the middle of a trade war? What a waste of time. Hard disagree, Desi. I like this version of Trump. Let him have his little showers, okay? Also, I do love a warm middle.

Okay, but who does this help? The real question is, who does this hurt? And the answer is, no one. Right? Okay? They're going to do bad things anyway, Desi, but if I'm going to be spending five hours a day stress pooping on the toilet, at least give us an executive order like the one this afternoon that says, no more itchy tags on clothes. It's too, too, too, too itchy. Have a great summer, Donald Trump. Okay.

Okay, I do agree with that. Tags are itchy. But shouldn't he be focusing on bigger, real things? He's bad at bigger, real things. 95... 95 of these executive orders are about punishing people who just disagree with him. So I'm fine with SideQuest Trump, okay? Would you go up to Hitler and be like, why are you painting? You've got work to do. Is it too much to ask for a president who's not Hitler? Yes. Okay.

Apparently it is. So just focus on the wins. Yes, he's putting Dora the Explorer on a flight to El Salvador, okay? But he's declared that anyone on the flight who asks for a soda has to get a whole can. XOXO, Donny. Troy, I hope you confronted them about that deportation order. I did. The soda can was my idea.

These are terrible concessions for the American people. If you don't like that one, how about this one? It says, "Toilet paper must be rolled over the top and not from the bottom. Lila's, Donald Trump." We can all get behind that, right? Actually, I like toilet paper rolling from the bottom. Oh, okay. Thank you. So you're one of them bottom rollers. Okay. Well, enjoy your flight to El Salvador. Hello, ice. What? No! Troy Iwata, everyone.

Introducing Instagram teen accounts.

A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on. Alright, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job. Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try. Nice. Or remember their elbow pads. Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go. New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.

Talkspace.com.

With Talkspace, you can go online, answer a few questions about your preferences, and be matched with a therapist. And because you'll meet your therapist online, you don't have to take time off work or arrange childcare. You'll meet on your schedule, wherever you feel most at ease. If you're depressed, stressed, struggling with a relationship, or if you want some counseling for you and your partner, or just need a little extra one-on-one support, Talkspace is here for you.

Plus, Talkspace works with most major insurers, and most insured members have a $0 copay. No insurance? No problem. Now get $80 off of your first month with promo code SPACE80 when you go to Talkspace.com. Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com. Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. If you want honest and rigorous financial news, then go eat a dick. But if you want to get rich, then you want Michael Kosta and another installment of Kosta Doing Business.

What up, players? This is the Costa doing business, and I'm Michael Costa. So let's make some fat stacks of that stinking cash. But first, I know what you're thinking, all right? And just to clarify, I didn't jump off a building because of the market crash, all right? This happened because I couldn't pay my Coke dealer after the market crash. And then he threw me off a building. What up, Hector? Anyways, all...

more reason to get down to making some of that money, okay? Now, this week, Big Daddy Trump's game of tariff, no tariff, caused a lot of selling on Wall Street. But on Main Street, everybody's still singing, buy, buy, buy. But it's spelled B-U-Y.

Hit me! With fears that prices will be going way up, some Americans have started panic buying. Consumers going on a tariff-induced shopping spree, from appliances to alcohol. Hoarding items like toothpaste and toilet paper. We were talking about it that we should buy some rice because we get rice that's made in Thailand.

And we said, we don't really need it right now, but we're going to buy it. Yeah, that's right. American consumers are acting like me when I saw my Coke dealer. They are panicking. Now, as a rule of thumb in a financial crisis, you should never panic. Then again, rules of thumb were meant to be broken. And I'm talking repeatedly smashed in a car trunk over and over again. But where there is panic, there are opportunities.

panic-tunities. If people are snapping up rice, then call me the rice patty daddy because you're looking at a guy who just converted his entire bathroom into a rice patty. Yep. Look.

And if anyone has a contact at Whole Foods, Sensei Costa's toilet rice is still looking for a distributor. Now, of course, grocery stores aren't the only ones caught up in Uncle DJT's economy lobotomy. Now what I mean? Despite a 90-day pause for other countries, tariffs on China are still sky to the high. Hit me.

Oh, Jesus! U.S. tariffs on Chinese goods soared to 104% on everything from clothing and shoes to toys. It could soon be much harder to get your hands on Tonka trucks, Care Bears, and even the new Nintendo Switch 2 that's out this summer, with companies opting to pause shipments to the U.S. Swiss watches and X-ray tubes for CAT scans could also be impacted with the tariff wars.

Oh, sorry, kids. These tariffs are affecting all your toys, Care Bears, Nintendo Switches, X-ray tubes for CAT scans. Now, you're never going to know what's going on inside of your Care Bear. Well, until... Until puberty, am I right? Up top. But seriously, these are just the kind of sacrifices we need to make to get the economy back to where it was 10 days ago. So, with toys...

With toys in the red, that means I'm buying up children's tears, okay? These things go for $10,000 an ounce on the streets of Silicon Valley. What do you think Mark Zuckerberg fills his cold plunge with, all right? That's how he keeps it so Zucker...

So Daddy T's tariffs are going to be affecting some shiz that we don't care about, like child's happiness or your estranged grandma's 401k. But who cares? Because you weren't getting that money anyway. Not since your ex-wife told her about what you did in Sarasota during a crypto conference. And even though you agreed to counseling and couples therapy and you deleted all the dating apps from your work phone and you swore you'd never be caught with five

cash and a Costco-sized bottle of amyl nitrates ever again, it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. So f*** you, Grandma. But that doesn't mean Papa Trump's terrorist

going to impact things that we do care about, like iPhones. Hit me. Apple seeing a wave of panic buying for iPhones as higher prices loom due to Trump's tariffs. An iPhone 16 Pro Max, already $1,200, could jump by another $350. When it comes to Apple, they were finding as many 747s as they could to get iPhones out of China. Planes stuffed with billions of dollars of iPhones to arrive before the tariffs take effect.

That's right. That's right. iPhones are flying here. Business class. So Apple can make a little business cash. But refugees fleeing a wicker wicker war, they're not going to make it, are they? So that little shiny rectangle in your pocket is now worth a whole lot of wicker wicker.

money, which is why I'm bullish on unsupervised coat checks, okay? These rooms are teeming with tariff-free phones. All it takes is a cater-waiter uniform and you'll be harvesting apples like a family in autumn you're no longer allowed to see anymore. Hey...

Hey, Siri, how much green gravy did I just make off this iPhone tariff crisis? This phone has been reported stolen. Calling police. Oh, yeah. Oops, clumsy me. Right in a cup of coffee. Looks like I'm going to have to dry that out in what? A bowl of Sensei Costa's toilet rice. Yeah, baby. Now available in the third stall of the men's bathroom at the Heath Rutherford Whole Foods. Now,

For those of you that have a working iPhone and your favorite app for watching trad wives make slow churn smoothies, it's about to get a new owner. Hit me. The president announced he was extending by 75 days the deadline for TikTok's owner to find a non-Chinese buyer. There are a number of interested parties who have said they would be willing to acquire the app. The founder of the adult content site OnlyFans has also submitted a bid.

TikTok, it's money o'clock, and I'm betting on OnlyFans. Hell, I've been putting money into that site for years, but I can't pull anything out because Mistress Victoria tells me I'm not allowed to. Well, at least I put two of her kids through Northwestern. Let's go, Wildcats! Wildcats!

But no matter who buy, buy, buys TikTok, do not worry because it will not be banned in the U.S. And that's a Costa guarantee. TikTok is simply too popular. The American people love it. And for some, it's the only workaround we have to communicate with our kids.

Hey, Skyler. Hey, Brandon. You guys want to go see the Minecraft movie this weekend? Sound off in the comments. Your mom sucks. Well, that's all I have time for. If I don't get $2,500 to Hector in the next hour, he's going to shatter my pelvis. But hey, that's just the cost of doing business. Introducing Instagram teen accounts.

A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on. Alright, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job. Or ring the bell on their bike. Okay, kid, give it a try. Nice. Or remember their elbow pads. Knees too, okay? Yep. There you go. New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.

Talkspace. Talkspace makes it easy to get the support you need.

Talkspace is here for you.

Plus, Talkspace works with most major insurers, and most insured members have a $0 copay. No insurance? No problem. Now get $80 off of your first month with promo code SPACE80 when you go to Talkspace.com. Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com. Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com. ...writer and actor you know from SNL. He stars in the new movie, The Wedding Banquet. Welcome, Bowen Yeh!

We got some fun.

Hi, everyone. That's very nice. Oh, I am so happy that you're here. I hope you're ready because I am going to hammer you with tariff questions. Yeah. We have got to get to the bottom of Trump's trade war. Let's do it. You and me. I mean, first of all, I missed 104. We're at 125 now. But 104 just felt like a sexier number, right? Right. I totally agree. It's like random. Missed opportunity. Missed opportunity. Oh, my God.

Oh my God, I am such a huge fan of yours. Likewise, Desi. But like, okay, I ran into you, I think it was some, it doesn't matter, some awards thing, but like. I'm sure it was very fancy and very elite. It was very fancy, very elite, but I, like whatever, I have tunnel vision at those things. I don't look in the periphery, because I'm like, I don't know who I'm going to like, you know, get into the crossfire with, but like you, I turned to you and it felt like there was a star shower behind you. I was like.

Desi like is right there and God, I love her. Oh, you're so sweet. I travel with a ring light. Yes. And I haven't seen her. And your back lit? Yes, I'm always back lit.

I'm always backlit. That never works. I hire an intern to follow me around. So it makes you think it's a moment. Yes. No, I felt the same way. I was like, I need to corner you and make sure that you come on the show to see us. And then I can snag you. Yes. And snagged. And we did it. We did it. I love all of the characters that you play on SNL. You've played George Santos. Yes. Oh, there he is. Yes.

Very handsome George Santos. Thank you. J.D. Vance. And my favorite, the prima donna iceberg. Yeah, that guy. That's my favorite of all time. It feels like you choose these highly unlikable, unsavory characters and just somehow find the humor and make them engaging. I really love just this thing in our culture of like,

People who are in media who, like, hate it too much. But, like, they chose to, like, be in front of the camera. They chose to be on display. And yet they're like, don't look at me, don't look at me. But it's like, you know, you opted into it. There was some buy-in on some level. The idea that the iceberg is a victim in all of this. Totally. That's very... And isn't he? He was just sitting there. I mean, what was he doing? Yeah. It wasn't really his fault.

And by now, he's gone. He's melted away with climate change. What was the moment when you were asked to play J.D. Vance? Lauren asked you, and what did you say? Lauren asked me, and I said, please, please, please don't make me do this. Why? I really find him challenging. First of all, I like...

God's honest truth, I really do my best with him, but every time I have to play him, I go to Lorne and I say, you can do a buyback. You don't have to stick with me. You can please reach out to Zach Galifianakis. Please reach out to Taron Killam. But no, that's my charge. How did you find your way through him? Was it a challenge? It was. Oh my gosh, you really are grilling me. We'll get to the Taron. I love it, I love it. No, you know what? I worked with

You guys are going to roll your f***ing eyes. I worked with, like, an accent coach. We had to find the middle between. We had to find the middle between, like, Appalachian but Ohio. Like, we really had to, like, find the right. Yeah, and, like, I was like, I don't want to screw this up. Like, I have such an uphill battle here. Like, I've got my almond eye.

I've got, I like this. And they're, everyone in America is gonna be like, this Asian guy's playing that guy. Like, I was like, I really got to nail this down. And I, and I'm just telling you guys, I'm doing my best. Okay. Yeah.

- Far beyond that. I love hearing that because your presence on SNL is like, I can't imagine the pressure cooker it must be. And you always look so calm and cool and relaxed. So thank you for sharing that you work really hard. - Yeah. - And you hire an accent coach. - And I'm not even on ketamine. It's amazing. - Yet. - Yet. - Yet.

I want to talk about your podcast, Las Culturistas. Pop culture has been a huge part of your life. You started doing that in 2016 before SNL. How has your perspective changed over the years, being someone who observes and is passionate about pop culture, to then becoming part of the culture? Oh, my gosh. I really think there is no big difference. We're basically the same show as we were nine years ago.

nine years ago, which is dinosaur years in podcasting. Yeah, truly. But I mean, it's the same show. We start off, we just riff, and then we end with this silly segment. But I think, like...

I'm just like y'all going home watching The Pit. You know what I mean? We're all watching the same stuff. And I feel like there's... I get why everyone thinks that things are fragmented now and there's no monoculture anymore. But I feel like we're still tuning into the same shows. There's just fewer shows that we're all tuning into. But I feel like that kind of makes our jobs as people, as consumers, easier. If we're just like, all right, it's Sunday. We're going to watch...

walton goggins you know be scary yes yeah yes and we all did except i have not caught up on the finale so please i didn't spoil i didn't spoil anything blow it for me i'm gonna watch tonight i want to talk about your new movie uh the wedding banquet it's so good you're fantastic in it this cast is amazing lily gladstone yep uh joan chen yes hunky chan it's his first english movie ever he's amazing in it um kelly marie tran it's a

Great, great film. Tell us what the story is all about. So it's a remake of an Ang Lee film from the 90s. It's about this sham marriage that has to get staged between these two couples who are friends with each other. The lesbian couple needs an IVF treatment. The Korean guy, my boyfriend, needs to...

just stage this wedding so that his parents in Korea, his family in Korea doesn't find out. He's really wealthy. He offers to pay for the IVF treatments. And my character kind of gets silent and he's like, how do I fit into this? And it's so fun. It's a warm hug of a movie. You'll all love it. I promise. It's great. It's a rom-com. You're bringing the rom-coms back. Yeah. Finally. We need more. It's me. Thank you.

Yeah, it's me, Glenn Powell, and Sidney Sweeney. We're all on the front line. That's a movie I'd like to see, actually, if you can make that happen. A throuple with the three of you.

The movie, as you said, centers around a sham marriage. Have you thought about who you would want your sham wife to be? Yeah. For a green card? Like, if you had to... Totally. In that situation? Let's see. Who needs one? But who wants to come here anymore? You know what I mean? Well, that's a fair point. I'm going to say...

Would she be like a blonde in late night? Or like if you could choose anyone. I feel like you're spoken for. I feel like, right. But she would absolutely be a blonde. As you were. As I was. You know what? I would really take any...

I'm a self-proclaimed boob gay. I love a buxom bosom. Yeah, I appreciate that. So, yeah, as long as you're stacked, I'll marry you. Yeah, I love that. I love that.

I would love to play a game with you because this movie is about a wedding. So I was wondering if we could play a game where I mention things at a wedding and you tell me do or I don't think so, honey. Great. Love it. Okay. All right. Ready? Yep. These are things at a wedding. Five day long bachelor or bachelorette party.

I'm going to be, I'm going to say that's a hard pass. Five is too long, even with like family. Even with people you love. I totally agree. So I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Okay. Dog as a ring bearer. Oh, I do. I love that. I love that. It's cute. I agree. Groomsmen taking clothes off on the dance floor. Yeah. Who? I mean, depends on the groomsmen, but sure. Yeah. Yeah. The more, the merrier. Performing at your own wedding. Uh,

Unless your name is Ariana... J.D. Vance. Unless your name is J.D. Vance or Ariana Grande, then no. Yes. Yeah. Oh, she can. She can perform. She can do whatever the hell she wants. Absolutely. Unprompted speeches.

Oh, no. I feel like the programming for speeches is so intentional. And like, if that uncle or cousin has not been designated, then there's a huge reason why. It's always going to go off the rails. Always going to go off the rails. Unwelcome. I don't think so, honey. DJ getting on the dance floor with you.

If he's taking, if he, she, they are taking requests. If they will let you play, you know, a friggin' like Tears for Fears song that you love or something, then yeah, absolutely. I hope our DJ heard that, so he's gonna play Tears for Fears and then come down and join us. Next wedding, you guys go to request Everybody Wants to Rule the World. It will bring people together. Absolutely. No,

Thank you so much for being here. I adore you. Thank you. The Wedding Banquet is in theaters nationwide April 18th. Bowen Yang.

And off we're going to go for the golden age of America. It's coming now. You feel it now. Finally, someone is behind the desk in the Oval Office who's going to protect America and the world. And it's coming and it's coming now. And I tell you what, it feels great.

Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+. Paramount Podcasts.

Talkspace.com.

With Talkspace, you can go online, answer a few questions about your preferences, and be matched with a therapist. And because you'll meet your therapist online, you don't have to take time off work or arrange childcare. You'll meet on your schedule, wherever you feel most at ease. If you're depressed, stressed, struggling with a relationship, or if you want some counseling for you and your partner, or just need a little extra one-on-one support, Talkspace is here for you.

Plus, Talkspace works with most major insurers, and most insured members have a $0 copay. No insurance? No problem. Now get $80 off of your first month with promo code SPACE80 when you go to Talkspace.com. Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com. Save $80 with code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com.