#BecauseMiami: The Once Great State of Florida
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Welcome to Because Miami, home of the Stanley Cup champions, Florida Pandas. You're goddamn right, Billy. How you feeling, Roy? I'm starting to get over my hangover. Starting? Yeah.

Starting. I would think you were still drunk is what I would think. Yeah, that's why I'm starting to get over it. I see. Congratulations, Roy. Thank you. I feel like you and Greg Cody did this. Yes. I was an instrumental part of the success of the Florida Panthers. I've been covering the team all season. And Greg Cody just parachuted in with a McOver rated. And that's how things got started. Yeah. But you dazzled them with a little bit of your... Hocus Pocus. That's right. Yeah.

And here we are. My abacadabra. I remember going to the inaugural season at the Miami Arena, just blocks away from where we are. And those were exciting times. I had family from Philly, so they were like degenerate Flyers fans. And so we were hockey people starting pretty young. Yeah, Bobby Clark from the Flyers was the original general manager. He was the architect with Bill Torrey and Brian Murray. And as a Panthers fan, seeing...

Where they were in that situation to now, I mean, it's just like, wow. I'm just amazed that this is happening. Well, now they're in Broward. Now they're moving literally up in the world. Yeah. So I have a really bad transition from Stanley Cup to Stanley Campbell, our first guest on the program, but I'm going to forego that. Stanley, do you have a cup around you? That would be Stanley's cup. I have my cup. Hey! That is the Stanley Cup. Roy, as you know, Uncle Luke,

Luther Campbell of Two Live Crew fame, a friend of the show, a friend of mine. If Uncle Luke was my brother, that would be the single most impressive thing on my resume. I will have you know, Stanley Campbell is in fact the brother of Uncle Luke, and it is the least impressive thing on his resume. He has had a long and distinguished career in the military, in business, in the medical field. He worked for NASA.

Oh, wow. So I think we should start there. Stanley, are you a rocket scientist? Well, you know, they like to call me a rocket scientist. I just I just call it a mathematician that just happened to have a program that actually flew on the Voyager 2 and it's still working today.

How's that going? Do you have to do software updates or what happens? Yeah. So interestingly enough, it actually left the entire Milky Way solar system. So it's actually kind of gone past every planet that we know, plus some more. Is it easier than updating an iPhone?

It's a little bit easier than updating an iPhone. But I can tell you, you got more power on that iPhone than everything that flew from here almost 45 years ago. Well, I have an Android, so. Quick follow-up, Stanley. Was it supposed to exit the Milky Way? Or did you mess up the programming there? No, no. It's supposed to go to every planet that we have. And then it's supposed to keep going until it can't send back anything anymore.

Like an iPhone, right? Until it stops working. Yeah, until it stops working. Stanley, you are running for, you know, we had your brother on the show who was talking about but did not run for Congress. You are, in fact, running and qualified to run for the United States Senate against Rick Scott. But in order to do that, you must first...

win a Democratic primary. You are running against, we'll call her the establishment candidate, Debbie Mercosel Powell, a former congresswoman who was basically the handpicked candidate of Senator Chuck Schumer, the majority leader Democrat in the United States Senate. And you have not been feeling the love. Before we get there, I want to talk a little bit about your background. And the most obvious question is, why are you running?

I'm actually running because, you know, I moved back here about four years ago. My brother kind of talked to me about the vaccines and everything that was happening with that. We had an 84% vaccination rate in Aventura and we had four and a half percent vaccination rate in Opelika. So knowing that that's only about three and a half miles difference, we had to figure that out.

And when I came down, it had not much to do with Opa-locka. It had everything to do with the governance and how the application of the vaccines were coming. So when you got a governor who's going to give 21% of the vaccines to publics, and there's no publics in our neighborhoods,

then that became an issue. So I have one of the largest healthcare networks in the country. We message into every point of sale pharmacy in the United States. And so what I did was I brought that down here and then we went to work. We actually started training nurses and doctors and pharmacists to be able to apply to get their own medication. And then that eventually became the way the nation actually deployed the vaccine.

But it was it was harsh. And then when we when we got that part settled and the next place we look was on the farms because you have migrant farm workers who didn't want to get vaccinated because if they gave the wrong information, they could actually be deported or something like that. So we wound up having a nice little scuffle, but we got through it.

So, Stanley, according to your bio, you run a global health care technology company that is directly responsible for preventing one hundred and twenty one million dollars in Medicare fraud daily and over half a trillion dollars to date. I will ask you, how could you possibly represent the state of Florida when you are preventing one of our top industries, Medicare fraud daily?

You're actually taking jobs away from hardworking Floridians in the Medicare fraud industry. Shame on you. How is it you think you can help Florida when you are taking money away from the state? What we're really doing is we're trying to save the Medicare trust fund. Medicare and Medicaid are funded to certain congressional regulatory levels.

And if we use too much of it and it runs out too fast, then we don't have health care for some of the poorest people in the country and for our elderly. That is the mantra. But the longer I stay, I see other things outside of health care.

legislation that doesn't allow us to teach our full history. So if you can't teach all of Black history, why teach any of it is almost the way that they position us. And so when you look at that, you look at, we got a senator who wants to shut down Social Security on top of cutting back Medicare and Medicaid. He didn't sign for the Medicaid expansion.

Those are the kinds of things that I know we can do better. And that's a million people who don't have insurance. And now you're going to take away their subsistence from Social Security when Social Security hasn't even kept up with cost of living increases, you know, in a common form. So I have to say, I love the richness there.

of your wanting to run against Rick Scott, who is going to be self-funding a campaign to the tune of nine figures, thanks in no small part to his being the CEO of the healthcare and hospital network responsible for what was at the time the largest Medicare fraud in the history of the United States. I love it. I mean, you're literally the antidote to Rick Scott. But I want to ask this question because this is a pretty...

sensitive issue. It's an ongoing issue with the Democratic Party. We hear a lot about Democrats taking black voters for granted. And I'm concerned. I've been hearing a lot from Miami-Dade countywide

black candidates. You are a statewide Florida candidate who feel like they are not getting the love from the Democratic Party. I mean, you have a relationship with this presidential administration through your wife, Cheryl Campbell, who is an assistant secretary of administration for the Department of Health and Human Services. And yet, you know, there's been news stories about you feeling some disrespect and

and feeling as though you are not getting, I guess, a fair shake in this Democratic primary. Tell me about it. Well, I can tell you it's more than feeling because, you know, I'm a Navy pilot. You know, I can feel bad. I feel good. We still got to go flying. But I can I can tell you that the thing that that is most troublesome,

is that we claim ourselves to be the Democratic Party and we're all for democracy, when in fact that's not the case. They handpicked a person out of Washington who couldn't win her last election, and they say, this is who we want you to pick,

And even though, you know, we just won or just earned, not won, we earned the AFL-CIO, largest union in the United States in the history of the United States. We got 38, well, two abstentions.

36 votes and two were against us. So out of 40 people, two organizations, two of them were against us and they expect that two should outweigh 38. It just makes no sense. And so what we've got to do is basically get Chuck Schumer out of this race

We even got to get the White House out of this race and let the people of Florida pick who they choose to represent them. You already said I can beat Rick Scott on Medicare and Medicaid. That's one. We know he's a crook.

He's a crook. He's supported a crook. And so that's what crooks hang together. So we got that. But then when he didn't take two billion dollars from Obama for the train, thinking he's going to wait on Trump and then he could give he politicize our transportation system. And now today we don't have a way to get from Orlando to Tampa and back. And we don't have a way to get all the way from from.

from Miami to Jacksonville and back. And we don't even have a start on going from Pensacola to Jacksonville. So these are the kinds of things that when you politicize every single thing, you can't get anything done. So I just got tired of yelling at the TV. I know I can beat that guy.

I know I could beat Debbie. That's not going to be so difficult. But I know I can beat Rick Scott, and I'm going to beat him like he stole something because he did steal something. Silly, let me ask you, though. I mean, there is...

Florida especially, just good old-fashioned American racism. What do you say to people that are concerned about a black candidate being able to win statewide? They look back at Val Demings a couple years ago losing to Marco Rubio by double digits. How do you respond? I don't think Val lost because she was black.

I thought Val lost because she allowed them to frame her as the policeman coming into our neighborhood to arrest us. I don't think it's about race because at the end of the day, I made a pretty good living as a black man.

But I can tell you what it is about is quality and character and the forthrightness and the person who shows up. She could easily have walked away with the AFL-CIO nomination because she was already three-fourths there.

But she just took them for granted. And she doesn't know our population. And this is a population I've been working with all of my adult life for the most part. And I was born and raised in a union family. So I know it from that deep.

She came here when she was 14. So for me, when I'm going out, I don't put race as a front. That becomes very obvious. Just look at me. I put my picture on everything that I push out because I want you to know what I look like, what I sound like. And for me, having a degree in physics and mathematics and 14 patents in AI, that would mean I would be the only senator

with experience with artificial intelligence. We have no House member or no Senate member who can even spell AI. And so that becomes important because it will be the most transformational thing in our lifetime. And then when you move over to healthcare, I have the largest healthcare network

in the country. I'm messaging to every point of sale pharmacy. I understand how that information transacts, and I've been working on women's health with five medical doctors. My chief medical officer is an OBGYN oncologist. So I'm not defaulting or anything else. We

We might have the same policies. We may even like the same things. But now then what? Who is going to, who is the state of Florida going to trust to get those things done? At last point, I have a very long-term, 55-year relationship, Cuban, because when we were bused to Miami Beach, the Cubans were coming in at the same time.

staunch Republican, voted for Trump, voted for Rick Scott and all the rest. And I'm saying, Luis, man, I've got to get you to vote for me. You know I'm better than Rick Scott. He says, oh, man, but here's the bottom line. My wife, my everybody, my whole family is going to vote. Look at the border. And I say, yeah, look at the border.

The border should not be what it is, but that's the same border that every president has. The thing is, you have two children, sons who are twins, who are nonverbal. Who do you trust to build the healthcare system when you're gone that will take care of your children?

And that's the bottom line. The bottom line is vote your own personal interests. If you're a rich guy who doesn't pay taxes, then maybe Rick Scott is your guy because I'm going to come and get some of that money because right now poor people can't pay taxes and the massive wealth of the tax comes from the middle class and those are the people who are union workers. Those are the working class people.

So we're not going to bother them. But if you're ultra rich, we got to get some more money because you're using these same systems. In some cases, you're using more of them and you're just not paying your fair share. So that's what this is. All of that is very impressive, but you've never been arrested for obscene lyrics. There is that.

Not yet, anyway. Not yet. It's only July. Stanley Campbell is running for the United States Senate in the once great state of Florida. Find out more at stanleyforflorida.com. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you again. Thank you.

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Mario Alejandro Ariza is the author of one of the Miami must-read books, Disposable City, Miami's Future on the Shores of Climate Catastrophe. It's a comedy. It's a love story, Roy, is really what it is. And most frustrating about it is that it takes a lot of the...

What should I say? A lot of the demagoguery and a lot of the politics out of the climate change argument and talks about it like in terms of science and facts and just, I don't know, opening a window. Holy shit. It's hot as sorry. I mean, it is so hot today.

It is so hot outside today. And I know that's all very anecdotal. But we have had meteorologists on this program who have told us, no, no, no, it's not just how you feel. It is literally getting hotter. The seas are getting higher. And we are essentially f***ed.

This is like three. How many F-bombs in this segment? That was two. I'm going to concentrate all of them right here. I think it might have been three, Roy, and I like that one slipped by you because that means... I don't think one slipped by me. Roy's exhausted, Mario, because you might know this, but Roy's the head coach of the Florida Panthers, and he had a very big win last year.

This week, you might have heard about it. Paul Maurice just got that news, huh? But Mario, the book is fabulous. It is not new, but what is new is your Atlantic story of last week, Headline, Miami is entering a state of unreality.

And the subheading, for those of you who really want to laugh, no amount of adaptation to climate change can fix Miami's water problems. So basically, basically, in 2020, you publish a book.

warning us, July of 2020, publishing a book kind of warning us. And four years later, almost to the month, you publish an article going, it's too late. Don't even. That's true. Sorry. That was, was that three? Okay. That'll be it for. So thank you. And you.

Four. Oh, four, yeah. So is it too late? I mean, what are you trying to say here, Mario? That's a great question. I actually would love to write an investigative piece trying to figure out whether or not we've already passed the point.

In climate emissions where Miami can or cannot be saved. What is certain at this point is that it's not going to be fun and that it's already not fun, right? I wrote this book a while ago. I said, hey, the insurance market is going to get pretty gnarly. The insurance market's getting pretty gnarly.

I said, "Hey, look, you're going to have trouble getting around on days when it rains." We're having trouble getting around on days when it rains. And I said, "Hey, you're going to have a big problem when a storm shows up on a high tide and it rains a lot, and we're having a lot of trouble when storms, regular rainstorms show up on a high tide and it rains a lot." And that's without looking at the possible effects of a hurricane.

Climate change, its effects are already being felt in South Florida.

And the top level is that we don't have a lot of room to adapt here for the simple reason that we live on a spongy forest limestone and the water comes up from underneath us at the same time that it comes up from the ocean. I try to explain that to people, that the water is coming at us from every single direction. We are on a peninsula. We have barrier islands. The water is coming at us.

In every way. It is inescapable. And you're just one of those assholes that's always right. Or as we call you in Miami, a hater.

So Mario's one of those guys who's like, I hate to say I told you so, but he doesn't. He doesn't hate to say I told you so at all. Although on this one, maybe you hate to say I told you. This is one of those things you kind of want to be wrong about, right? I wish I had been. I really do. Because then my insurance prices might not have gone so high for my homeowner's insurance. You will get called out. It's your fault for even for writing it, for even saying it.

Blame me. Yeah. So, I mean, you're right about rain bombs in this article. Not as fun as Jäger bombs. My favorite lines right from the beginning, people on social media will know how absurd this is. You're talking about the deluge recently that meteorologists...

Called a once in 200 years event. And yet the next sentence is it was the fourth such massive rainfall to smite southeastern Florida. That's the thing. Like how many once in 200 year events can we have? It's now like four times in 200 year events. These are becoming much more frequent and that's not good. And that is a direct. Can you explain how that is a direct result of shit getting hot?

Right, right, right. Yeah. So what we're essentially doing is like every time we turn on a car, every time we run a coal-fired power plant, we're putting like little sweaters on the earth, right? And we're just keeping in that much more heat, right? And as we keep in all of this heat and instead of radiating it off back into space, the likelihood or the probability of weird things

unlikely events happening increases because there's more energy in the system, right? So your once in 200 year event, your event that has every year a 0.05% chance of happening, all of a sudden stops being a once in 200 year event and becomes more likely to occur. Your one in 1,000 year event, like the one that happened in Fort Lauderdale last year when the airport got covered with two feet of water and was shut down for a couple of days, that

becomes more likely to happen as well. So it makes the extreme events, the unlikely events, more likely, amongst other things. Not only did the Fort Lauderdale International Airport's runway become a lake, but the drainage, and everybody's like,

oh, this is terrible. I'm like, terrible. This was the design. The drainage was just simply the runway pouring down into US-1, pouring down onto the highway. That was the plan. I designed it. Made it really tough for the Florida Panthers and for the media to get to Edmonton for game four. Yes. That is why Roy is inventing the first Zamboni submarine. I want to talk about, you know, there's a line I say almost every episode of this program that in

In Miami, truth is hate and lies are love. Where we do not have reality, we have realty. And I think that's probably what you're getting at with the title of your article, Miami is entering a state of unreality, because we remain, despite the fact that we have reality.

some of the most valuable, vulnerable coastal real estate in the entire world. We remain like the second largest luxury real estate market after Dubai, particularly in low lying areas like Miami Beach and on Brickell and on the coast, places that we see

On a sunny day, we'll be under a foot of water during the king tides, for example. But can you explain the title of your Atlantic story, Miami is Entering a State of Unreality?

Yeah, I think there's a couple of layers of unreality here, right? There's the historical layer of unreality where, you know, there's the element of the con, the grift, the selling Northeasterners on plots of land that haven't been even drained yet, which we've been doing for hundreds of years, right? But then there's also the more recent unreality, right? And the unreality seems to be getting thicker, hotter, wetter, which is that

When we talk to investors, when we talk to people who are putting their money down here as a government, as somebody who's trying to sell something, you're like, oh, we're adapting, right? We're putting up pumps. We're raising roads. We're putting one-way check valves in the stormwater system. We're redesigning our stormwater system. We're mapping out our county heat strategy.

These are all good things to be doing, right? But it's a little bit like giving the cancer patient stuff that is going to make the cancer feel better. But you're not addressing the root of the cause, right? And the root of the cause here are greenhouse gas emissions. And Florida doesn't have a strategy for reducing greenhouse gas emissions. In fact, as a state, we're kind of juicing the emissions at the moment, especially at the legislative level. So that's the fundamental state of unreality here, right?

We sell this conception that we're going to adapt, that we're going to learn to live with the water.

And to a certain point, we can adapt. To a certain point, we can learn to live with the water. But I've literally had researchers tell me that there isn't enough money out there in the world to adapt Miami to what is coming. And what is coming may be, you know, two feet by 2060, maybe four feet by, you know, 2100, or it might be a lot more than that. We don't know how this is going to play out.

I remember reading a Herald article earlier this year about the fact that like they had, the city had a new like kind of flood report. The flood report was like,

Yeah, there's no – I mean exactly what you said. Like if we put billions of dollars into this problem, there are still some neighborhoods in the city of Miami and in Miami-Dade County that will just be lost. Like we have to write them off now. It doesn't even pay to mitigate because we're never going to be able to fix it. And these are homes to –

These neighborhoods are home to multi-million dollar developments and so-called luxury condos whose parking lots turn into indoor pools during a drizzle, whose elevators stop working to the 70th floor when there's rain outside. But they have gorgeous views of the bay, I suppose. Absolutely gorgeous. Yeah. Yeah.

And there was an article, though, my favorite, because this image, it was from last year, Alex Harris in The Herald. King Tide floods offer glimpse of Miami's soggy, salty future. Can anything be done? That was the answer, of course, as you know, is no. In Spanish, also no. But this lead, Mario, is something out of your book. It's the roar of a generator.

running some sort of stormwater drainage pump in like a pocket park in Little River, the Little River neighborhood of Miami, which was like right on a canal. And so what was happening is there's this multimillion dollar pump that they're starting to spend all of our tax dollars on all over the city. You've got like nearly a foot of water in the sunlight

During King Tides in this pocket park, they're dumping the water or pumping the water out of the park into the the river, the canal, and then 10 feet away. Just imagine this in one shot. We're just kind of panning around 10 feet away. The water is lapping back up over the sea wall back into the pocket park again.

So this is just the ultimate like image, the ultimate symbol of the futility of,

of all of this. So is that where we are? I mean, forget triage. Is Miami in hospice right now? Is it just about keeping the dying patient comfortable, keep the booze flowing, keep the cash going and keep the luxury real estate selling until everybody catches up with this and goes, hey, we can't afford insurance. We can't afford these. We can't. We can't. There's going to be no mortgages for 30 years because we're

No one's going to be bullish on this market for 30 years. Like, it's not a going concern. Is that where we are? Are we in the hospice stage of Miami right now? The conversation that inspired the title of my book was with a big time commercial real estate guy, luxury real estate guy. And when I got to the end of the conversation with him, we were talking about something else. We were talking about, I think, workforce housing, right?

Back in 2018, I remember asking him, well, what do you think about climate change? What do you think is going to happen here? And he's like, look, first of all, you have to have a good bedside manner with the patient. And he was hoping to get four to five more business cycles out of the city before the whole thing went down the drain. If you look at who's investing here, if you look at who lives here, there's a lot of people who are really smart and who understand what's going to happen here and who think that

you know, the game in musical chairs is going to go on for a certain amount of time. Mr. Mayor, you're brilliant. You were super smart. Yeah, I'm one of them. I own a house here in Miami. I'm popular, right? But at the same time, I happen to believe that there are actual fixes that people could do to get Miami more time. And they involve reducing the amount of fossil fuels that we're putting into the atmosphere, right? That's just- Adorable. That's adorable.

However, I will tell you that the sort of long con against the rising tide that the city plays with its property development,

with its high rises, with its bond ratings, right? With its ability to bond out money. That game is going to stop. Esa pachanga va para at some point, right? And it may happen because a big storm rips out the heart of the city as it goes up the Miami River, or it may happen more slowly, death by a thousand floods, right? I don't know how that's going to happen.

But I do know for certain that the water is going to come and it's going to keep coming. We're expected to have six more inches of sea level rise between 2020 and 2030, right? Four to six. We've already gotten six since I moved here in the early 90s, right? The ocean is six inches higher.

Mario, Alejandro Ariza with all the good news. And it's true, it's a disposable city. And this is a town where people will pay $30 for a cocktail, $1,000 for a steak and a briefcase. It's just one of those things where it's like the people who are buying this luxury real estate can afford it and then can, I guess, kind of

Throw it away like a Dixie cup when they're all done with it. Hashtag because Miami. Redisposable city. It is a must read for anyone moving to Miami on their way out of Miami. And of course, his latest story in the Atlantic, Miami is entering a state of unreality. Mario, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much, Billy.

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or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash ftball. Speaking of Miami entering a state of unreality, I think probably Florida.

It's entering a state of of unreality and also hospice hospice care. The state of Florida is on hospice care. And the frightening thing about it, of course, Roy, is that the Florida of today is the America of tomorrow.

So it's like Miami, Florida, and then America. I mean, you're seeing it with, you know, a lot of the laws that are spreading throughout the land, just like the worst laws that we export from Florida. You know, this has always been kind of the, I don't know, the laboratory of the worst of democracy here. Like, you know, the NRA sent their lobbyist here to create the Stand Your Ground billboard

bill, among others, where, you know, the shoot your neighbor law that they were able to successfully push through the Florida legislature. And then they said, OK, we can now export this thing all over the country to mostly Republican led legislatures around the country. And you have this and you're seeing this with some of the the education bills, the book bannings, some of the the abortion laws. Florida is like it's like, oh, we're

This is really shitty in Florida, so we should definitely institute this in our state. And so on that note.

July 1st is when a lot of the new bills, I think now there's almost like 180 bills that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Oh, that's BS. No, totally, totally BS. You know, you say that Florida of today is America of tomorrow. We are quickly becoming yesterday. How so? As you said, all these rules, all these laws are becoming affecting other states. I mean, yeah, it's a race to the bottom here.

Yeah, it's a race to the bottom. No, I mean, we're I mean, what do we export from Florida? We export, you know, fraud and crime and terrible, terrible laws. But we are we are the laboratory for the worst of democracy. It's not about offering more freedoms to more Americans, but how to restrict rights to as many people as possible. Unless, of course, you are a white male.

So, Roy, just to leave on a light note, we are going to do the top five dumbest laws going into effect in Florida next week on July 1st. Monday. Monday. That's right. Number five, requiring teaching the history of communism. I mean—

It's not that I have a problem with this, because obviously there's already, I mean, this is already a part of world history classes. This is already in the curriculum. And the problem here is that this isn't about improving the quality of education. This is about straight up demagoguery. And it talks about China and Cuba, of course, and Latin America. Does not mention Russia or the Soviet Union at all. But most importantly, in this state, we are banning, as Stanley Campbell mentioned earlier, we are banning

the teaching of some historical topics while encouraging and emphasizing others. So like a black history, like for example, black history and you know, the chapter on the upside of slavery being taught in Florida public schools. And so what you're doing by sort of prioritizing this saying black history doesn't matter, but, uh,

teaching communism, which incidentally is not a threat in this country whatsoever, the fear of reliving some of the worst parts of American history...

racism, misogyny, you know, limiting the rights of women and minorities and immigrants. That is a very real threat. And as we know from the FBI, the threat of violence among right wing groups is a real threat. But what we're teaching is leftists and guerrillas and what happened in Latin America. And by the way, fine, I'm fine with with teaching that. The problem is you can't then say, oh, but we're not. But this other history, American history doesn't

This is actually what we call not only is that the politicization of education, but it's also one might say grooming and indoctrination, Roy, because as we know, every accusation is a confession.

Number four, I'm going to try to make these live there, Roy. I'm just really tired. So am I. I'm sick and tired, really. I'm sick because I'm hungover. I know. You need to start. You need hair of the panther that bit you, dude. You need to keep drinking. That is the best hangover remedy. That's the plan. That is the best hangover. And you didn't drive. You're going to take Brightline back, right? No, I'm not going to be culpable in any deaths on the roadway.

Actually, what is more likely, that you would hit and kill somebody on the way home if you were driving, or you would hit and kill somebody on the way home if you were on the Bright Line? Yeah, the Bright Line's going to win that one. I think so. The Bright Line's drunk. The Bright Line is chasing the Stanley Cup up and down South Florida to every party they can possibly find.

What number are we on again? Yeah, see, I wasn't so good at this education thing. Can you count the 10 commandments in Louisiana? Number four. This gets so much more grim. Number four. No local heat protections for outdoor workers. Number four.

We were just talking to Mario Ariza how it's getting hotter. It is oppressively hot outside right now. And you have construction workers, you have agricultural workers working outside in this weather. A lot of great agriculture this time of year. You've got watermelons growing, you've got lychee, you've got some mangoes that weren't destroyed. It seems like a real light crop this year. Again, climate change in full effect. What the state said is Miami-Dade specifically tried to pass some regulations

to require employers to give their workers access to water, maybe like a little break in the shade. I mean, that's a basic human right, water. Once every four hours or so, maybe give them 10, 15 minutes in the shade. Right, water sustenance, you know, to preserve life, for example. And the state said, not so fast. Comorita!

Rights of workers to not die of heat stroke and exhaustion and dehydration.

To the nah. That's six. What we're going to do is we're going to block cities and counties from implementing laws to protect workers. And what we're going to say is you have to rely on the state to regulate that. But guess what? There are currently no federal or state laws protecting outdoor workers from heat. So it's like you can't do it. We'll do it. But we're not doing it. So you know who gets to make these rules? Who's that, Billy? Employers. Oh. So if Dan decides that you're going to work outside...

In the heat, in the sun, you will not get water or a shade break. I did that on Tuesday. Was that Tuesday? At the elbow room. Or as Roy calls it, Tuesday. Yeah. At the elbow. Oh, but you were, dude, you were bathing in beer, being dumped out in a giant cup. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was wearing my Panthers jersey. There was no way they were going to dump beer on me while wearing that jersey. No, sir. I spent a lot of money on that. Yeah, or on your...

Flanagan's Marlins jersey either. Oh, yeah, that's right. Number three. Oh, there it is. Oh, it is glorious. Oh, it's so shiny. That doesn't fit you, Roy. That's for Claire. What size is that? It's tiny. It's way too small for me. Yeah, I was going to say, you're skinny, but you are long. Yeah, yeah, I'm tall. That is not for you. Number three.

Citizen oversight boards stripped from investigating police. Who polices the police, Roy? Nobody. That's exactly. You're goddamn right, Meatball. Number two. This is your favorite. I'm waiting. You know what? Taking bears. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's what Andrew Gillum does on a Saturday night at Twist. Taking bears. Taking bears. That's right.

They're taking bears. You can kill bears in self-defense that is now legal in Florida. It's what I call stand your ground. I'm hungover, man. I can't take these jokes. I'm sorry with the Florida dad jokes. And finally, number one and thematically appropriate for this episode, climate change has been eliminated from Florida laws. ♪

I don't know what to say. We are the most vulnerable state in the union, one of the most vulnerable states in the world, home to some of the most valuable, vulnerable coastal real estate as we just talked about. And climate change is not something you can say. It's not something you can legislate. The bill would boost the expansion of natural gas. It would reduce regulation on gas pipelines in the state, despite the fact that we're already 74% reliant on natural gas to power our –

electric grids here. Also, no windmills or wind-powered electric sources can be off the coast of Florida. Local governments can't prioritize green legislation. If a county wanted to switch its fleet, its motor fleet, to electric cars, they can't.

Dude, I just don't... No winter by the... What about dams? I just don't know. I mean, we're talking about existential shit, man. And the Florida legislature is like, we good. I wish we had a light Miami moment to kind of go out on. We don't. But we...

But we don't. Congratulations, Roy. Thank you. Florida Panthers. Ain't that something? 30 years, man. 30 years. I mean, think about this. Five consecutive playoff appearances. And the first 25 years of this team's existence, only five playoff appearances. Absolutely remarkable and exciting. And what is going to be the next Miami franchise to win this?

Inter Miami already has a trophy, but they haven't won an MLS Cup, so that would probably be the next one. I'm sorry, I fell asleep. What are we talking about? Soccer. Go Inter Fort Lauderdale. Go Cats. Vamos a gatos y coquines.

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