GBF - Billy's Favorite Story of the Month
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Stugatz here. Smirnoff knows there's no I in football. It's a we thing, an experience best enjoyed together. Whether you are at home or away, we rally together, we cry together, and we always rally cry together. Because in fandom, there's definitely no I. As the world's number one vodka and the official vodka partner of the NFL, Smirnoff brings an award-winning taste to every game day celebration.

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God bless football, Fuentes. God bless football, Stugatz. July. Technically June. Yeah, it's June. June headed into July. It's that time again. But Billy made a very astute point that once hockey is over, it does not take these websites long to just flip the football. Yeah, everything's football already.

It probably was already, right? Yeah. Are you tracking these things? I mean, I look and then I see like, oh, this is a lot easier to find than it was before. And it's not like hockey's over. I guess it's just because we're getting up to minicamp time. Because respectfully, and I say this as the home of the Stanley Cup champions, how many people care about hockey?

It's a great question. I don't have an answer for you. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot, though. Enough. The ones that do care a lot. They really care. The ones who care. Like Roy, he really cares a lot. Yeah. If you care, you care. Right. If you put it on the poll, if you care, you care. But I think Billy's right about that. I think Canada, they care about hockey the way we care about football.

Like somewhere, someone in Canada is doing God bless hockey. Yeah, well, care less because should be us. Canada hasn't won a cup in 30 plus years. We're sitting here saying how much we ate hockey and you want to do a show called God bless hockey.

I'm in. Yeah, because we care about football, but we did God bless football. That's true. That's a very good point. I missed last week. I was told that a new segment was debuted last week. I'm upset that I missed it. It was Billy's story of the week.

Do you have another story this week? Are we doing it again this week? Yes, I do, actually. So we had a new segment debuted, Billy's Story of the Week. And then, you know, each week there's that I remember to do it. That was a very key phrase. Every week I remember to do a story of the week. There will be a story of the week. And then at the end of the month, when I've done multiple stories the week, there will be a story of the month. Oh, wow. And that story will win a big prize. So you're taking all the stories four weeks in a month. So we're taking the four stories. Well, if I remember. If you remember. Right.

It could be one. It could be four. Yes. It's one will be an easy decision, story of the month. But if you go four, we will take those four, and we will decide which one is the story of the month, or you will decide. Let's finish out a month, and then we can figure out how it works out. We've got the election coming up. Let's get two. Let's get two before we can start worrying.

In fact, wait, hold on a second, because I'm now just realizing, and I'm glad you brought this up. We could have done this off air, but I'm glad we're doing it here so that the audience understands this too. June, July. This is exactly right. This is going to be our last episode in June. So do we decide the story of the month in June today or next week? Oh, wow. Has to be today. Okay, why don't we do this? I'll give you my story of the week earlier.

early on, and then at the end of the episode, we can think about it as we're doing the episode, and then at the end, we can reveal Billy's story of the month. Okay. Yeah, big reveal and a big prize. I don't have last week's story. I'm not armed with that information. Okay, so I'll give you just a little...

Since you missed it. A refresher for me and Mikey Aiton. Exactly right. And the audience, in case you missed last week's episode. So just so we're clear, you're going to give me, because I missed last week, you're going to give me last week's story of the week. Then you'll do another story of the week. And then at the end, we're going to choose the story of the month.

At the end of the episode, we can tell you the story. I'm just going to quickly tell you how it works. So we've already set it up. Last week's inaugural Billy Story of the Week came from Baton Rouge. Really? Yeah. Okay. Les Miles, former head coach of LSU, is suing LSU because...

LSU agreed to vacate 37 wins over improper benefits paid to a former player, former player, family member, something along those lines. The wins were from 2012 to 2015. As a result of the 37 wins being vacated, Les Miles' win percentage was

went from above 600 to below 600, making him ineligible for the College Football Hall of Fame. Oh, man. So Les Miles is suing, saying that they are doing damage to him by not having him be eligible for the College Football Hall of Fame, which he may have not gotten into anyways, but he's now no longer eligible to be on the ballot because...

As a coach, you have to have a 600 or above win percentage, and now it's below that because of the vacated wins. Okay, I didn't know that you had to have a 600 winning percentage to make the College Football Hall of Fame. That's actually pretty interesting. I think Les Miles would have gotten into the Hall of Fame, won a national championship, and had the winning percentage of over 600, and now he is suing LSU. Now, were these infractions, were they...

Did they happen while Les Miles was in charge? They did. And the issue is to himself. So he so he said he wasn't interviewed for the investigation. No one reached out to him. So he wasn't part of the process. So they agreed to vacate the wins without him being part of this process at all. Also, I'll tell you this. Another person who had win percentage overall.

over 600, and you guys can fact check me on this, Howard Schnellenberger also had a situation where his win percentage was over 600. He was eligible for the College Football Hall of Fame because of his time down in Miami. Then, as a result of kind of building up Louisville and building up FAU, his win percentage dipped below 600. I don't like that. So he was ineligible for the College Football Hall of Fame.

I don't like that. You have a coach who built something at Miami, one of the great coaches of all time, and then he takes a couple of chances at some smaller schools, tries to build those schools up, and now he can't get in. I mean, what's the point of taking chances in life? We had someone look up Les Miles. If Les Miles – I believe Les Miles needs –

To win like three out of four games. Okay, two wins. If he wins two more games, he gets it back over 600. Is he coaching right now? No, he's not. Then we were talking about where can he call to get those two wins. So anyways, you're all caught up. Now you know how the story of the week works. I feel like Les Miles can call just about any school, like, you know, middling school and probably get a job. That's what I said too, but then the problem is. But you got to win. I understand that, but so where would you choose?

But that's the thing. It's tough. You pick a school that's desperate for a coach or attention or whatever, but they need two cupcakes to start the season. So you get the two wins, and then he bounces. Then he bolts. Yeah. And be good enough to beat said team. Exactly. Because he can't lose, because then it goes even further down. But it has to be a school that's enamored with the idea of, hey, we're going to get Les Miles. Like UCF. No. No, I guess not. Would they get rid of who they got for him? Exactly. I don't know. How about USF? South Florida.

I don't think they're any good. That's a problem. They're not good enough to get two wins. He's got to get two wins and get the hell out. Yes, basically, yeah. USF is like, USF's right around the caliber of school that, like, they may be in the traveling the first two weeks of the season. The problem is that USF is the team that gets put on school schedules. That's what I'm saying. So they get the shit kicked out of them. That's potentially. They are the tune-up school. I'm pretty certain USF had a lead at halftime against Alabama last year. I agree.

It was the craziest game I've ever seen. All right, so USF is... Well, here's the problem. USF starts the season hosting BCU, which is Bethune-Cookman. Okay, thank you. That's one. Thank you. I thought you added an extra one to BC. I thought you said Boston College. I was like, oh, man, no. I was like, the Eagles? Yeah, that's tough. That's a tough game. Well, hold on. Here's the problem with USF. Week two...

Alabama. So he has to get him early without saving. So he has to get the Bethune-Cookman win. Or he gets into Bethune-Cookman, resigns. Yes. Gets that win, resigns. Resigns, won nothing. Heads to another school after that. Next year? Next year? You're making this a two-year project. You can knock it out in two weeks. You want the Hall of Fame or not? How badly do you want it, Les?

So anyway, that was Billy's story of the week last week. Can you look up Colorado State? Just the schedule. I feel like they would take him as their head coach. He can get two wins and get out of there and have this done wrapped up in two weeks. And he's back in the hall. By the way. First game at Texas. Oh, that's a loss. Damn it, damn it. It's harder than we think, I'm telling you. But hold on. Week two at Northern Colorado. So we could do a USF and then a Colorado State.

World Tour. The rare midweek hire. Who's week three? Colorado. That could go either way. Yeah.

I don't know how you feel about Dion this year. I don't know. It's going to be interesting to see. Did you guys see the story? This isn't Billy's story of the week or month, but this is just a story that came out. Did you see that Dion made the Colorado Buffaloes go to his son's rap show? And that kind of sealed the deal on a lot of them deciding, you know what? I think I'm leaving this program. Because it was mandatory for the team to go to see his son perform. He made it mandatory? Yeah, he made it mandatory. So then a lot of people were like, that's final straw. I'm transferring out. Yeah.

Not good. Anyways, that's how the game works. How do you feel about this segment? I love this segment. I'm just trying to figure out this. Unless Miles should be upset.

He really should. I understand these infractions happened while he was in charge, but the fact that LSU, what they decided without asking him, without including him in this discussion, they decided, hey, Les, you're not going to the Hall of Fame. Les should have a say in that. Well, I don't think they were considering any of the consequences when they made the decision to vacate the wins. I'm pretty certain they enjoyed the national championship while it was happening when Les was there. Well, they did. He deserves better. They didn't vacate a national championship. I

I know, but they vacated wins that keep him out of the Hall of Fame. I mean, listen, I would love to be a lawyer to represent Les Miles. It seems like a slam dunk case. It doesn't. But what's the outcome that he gets? They're not going to get the wins put back on, so he must be like a monetary thing. Can we have Carl Douglas on next week to see how he would defend this? That's a good question. What are the consequences? Sounds like Billy's story of the week is going to drag out three weeks. Of the decade. Frontrunner here. Yeah.

This segment may have been too good. You started too strong. I don't think we'll get another story like this. Well, okay, good question. What is the story of this week, you ask? This week's Billy's Story of the Week. Okay. Coming soon to a television near you. Yeah. Holiday Touchdown, a Chiefs love story. What? The Chiefs and the Hallmark Channel have made an agreement to have a Chiefs football-themed holiday movie made this season. Why?

I'm assuming this is a Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift thing. Let's get the attention. And the Chiefs have, I guess, given permission to the Hallmark Channel to use their team and their likeness and their logos and everything. So holiday touchdown, a Chiefs love story coming soon to the Hallmark Channel. Wow. They're getting married, huh?

We talked about this last week. You also missed this, actually, last week. More Mike Lee. More Mike Lee. Sorry, I missed last week. Yeah, it was a big episode. Big episode. You also missed Cher Bear. What? And Brandon Seiler. Get out of here. We haven't spoken to Seiler since week one of last year. He actually had a really good story, if you want to go back and listen to it. Story of the week? No.

Tyler's story of the week. He jumped off a yacht and lost his national championship ring. And then to get it replaced, you have to ask the university permission, so they give you a code. So then he called the company, gave them the code, and found out that that was for unlimited ring replacements. So he bought a bunch in case he lost it again. Okay, I have a question, though. And he gave Cher Bear one of the rings for his birthday, but took it back. Yeah.

He gives them to people for their birthday and takes them back and holds them. So for their birthday, they can wear a ring just for the day. But no, he promised Sherbert that he gave him the ring as a gift for his birthday. But then he said, I'm going to, I guess, tipsy or whatever. I'm going to take it back and hold on to it for you and never gave it back to him. Give it back to the guy who lost it.

Exactly right. Classic Siler. And he was holding his pickleball paddles for hostages. It was a crazy episode. Anyways, you missed a lot. I'm upset I missed it. I really am.

So what are we doing now? You told your story. Well, that's it. Those are two stories. At the end of the episode, we'll find out. Did Holiday Touchdown, a Chiefs love story, knock out Les Miles suing LSU as the story of the month? So do you have a vote here, or is it just me, Mikey A., and Fuentes? Because I feel like you need three here to decide. I'll sit it out. I don't care. You guys can vote. All right.

I have a question. Is Andy Reid going to play Santa Claus? Because if Andy Reid plays Santa Claus, it changes my whole outlook on the movie. You would think that there should be at least one Chief cameo, right? Oh, how about this? Let's play a game. Which Chief would make a cameo in this movie? They're not going to get Patrick Mahomes.

How do you know? Well, if Travis asked Patrick, then they'll get him. No, Travis is not in the movie. I understand. Well, he is. He is. Yeah, he really is. Yeah, he is. It's his movie. Okay. His love story. I've seen Andy Reid in those commercials. He's got acting chops. How about our boy Spags? Play Santa Claus? No, Mikey, you're onto something. Mikey's onto something. Spags. Spags. What would he do, though? I don't know. He's the angry stepdad that's waiting for his kids. Play defense against them getting married? Exactly.

He's the kids football coach. I miss Spags. I do, too. I was just thinking about that. We had so much fun with him last time he was on. Showed up at his draft board by accident. At his draft board. The draft board behind him. Billy's going to laugh at me. He's going to get mad at me. He's going to roll his eyes. Spags invited me and you to a day at Chiefs training camp. That's not true. I swear, Billy. Yeah, but Stugatz, here's the thing. I didn't say yes, Billy. I'm just telling you. Have you ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf? No.

Okay. Well, long story short. He saw a wolf and he cried? Well, he lied about it a number of times. And every time he said, wolf, wolf, the townspeople would come to save him. And there was no wolf. He was just doing it for attention because he was bored. And at the end of the story, spoiler alert.

There was a wolf and he was crying, wolf, wolf, and no one came to save him. And a wolf ate like all the sheep or ate him or something. I don't remember exactly how it ended. Wolf ate a bunch of things. Depends on the book. Exactly right. You know what I learned is the Three Little Pigs also, depending on where you read it, has quite gruesome endings, depending on where you read the story. There's lots of versions of these kids' fairy tales that have

really dark turn. Are you saying depending on where you read the story or when you read the story? No, where you read the story. So why is it different in different places? I don't know. I guess it's like one of those public domain stories now or whatever. So anyone can do it. So there's versions of the story where...

the wolf can't get into the brick house right at the end the house made of bricks there's a house made of hay the house made of sticks or you know wood or whatever then there's a house made of bricks he can't get in that house and then the wolf on some versions of the story will go down the chimney to try to get into the house of the three little pigs and once he tries to go down the chimney they have some water boiling in this in the chimney and in some versions the wolf will you know burn

burn his backside and then hop up the chimney, run away, never to be seen from again. In other more gruesome versions of the story, and if you have children, maybe turn away for a moment, they cook the wolf and then eat him. Yep. Quite gruesome. Those are two vastly different stories. They are vastly different stories and we're on a very big...

I want to read the Three Little Pigs thing before bedtime now. Right. Which one to read? Well, no, I have like... You gotta check the ending. Exactly right. I had like a physical copy of it that we checked out of the library, and that's how we kind of got on this kick. But then we returned the book, so then I just like on my phone very quickly Google like Three Little Pigs story, right? And then like they'll have pictures, some will, some won't. And I'm like live editing what's happening on this story. Yeah.

As I'm going ahead, I'm like, no. You're changing the ending? Yeah, I'm like, I'm not going to read that part. Nope. You're improvising on the fly? Exactly right. I'm changing words. I'm saying, you know what? We don't need to know that. Let's just ran away happily ever after. The end. Daddy, what's in that pot? No, I mean, every time. I have Billy coming down with a book. It's Billy's story of the week. Every time the cauldron makes an appearance, the wolf just burns his butt, and then we make a funny sound like, and then he went, ooh.

And then he ran away. And that's how I try to clean up the ending. Still leading to nightmares. So anyway. All right. Well, we have a Fuentes top five will determine Billy's story of the month coming up towards the end of the show. Well, so back to the boy who cried wolf. Spags did not invite us to Chiefs training camp. I don't believe that story because you've told so many fake wolf stories in the past. Spags, Spags.

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Official sleep and wellness partner of the NFL. See store for details. And we're back. We are. Why do you laugh like a little kid that's misbehaving at school? Because I am. Misbehaving. I don't understand it.

I don't know. We delay the start of the show because you want to just be laughing with Mike Yeh in the break. I mean, Fuentes was wearing us out with a story. Well, okay, so we have a lot. Not for air story. Not for air story. That was another story. Billy, you've known me for nearly 20 years now. Are you waking up and just hoping every single day, man, this is the day that Stugatz is going to grow up? No, I've given up on that. All right, good. I wake up and I'm like, yeah.

Anyway, so, Stugatz, I have big news for you. You do? Yeah, we have a game of more Mike Lee we can get to. That's not the big news. You have a game that you want to debut today. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if. Yeah. Mike Fuentes has five stories that are not being talked about enough in the NFL that he just stole from the NFL.com. He also has a top five. And a top five, yes. He wasn't trying to steal them from NFL.com. I'm doing this guy a favor. Now people see these articles. He's upset that people aren't talking about these stories. Eric Edholm's really upset. Yeah. I don't know. Anyways.

So I have a surprise just for you. Okay, great. Guess what? What? Zach Wilson. Yeah. New haircut. Get out of here. Let me see it. I am terrified this guy is going to make it to the Hall of Fame. He looks like a quarterback now. No, he does. That's terrible, that haircut. Really? Yeah. Mike, you like it? Looks like Justin Herbert. Justin Herbert's biggest... Yeah, but does it throw like Justin Herbert? Well...

Justin Herbert's biggest. Now he's got the hair. If you remember when Justin Herbert shaved his head, that was, I think we called it the worst thing that he could have done to his career. I had totally forgot that he did that. Yeah, he shaved his head. He looked terrible. And I don't know that his career has come back since then. I have a question for Mikey A. More concerned about Zach Wilson or Sam Darnall coming back to haunt us? Sam Darnall. Oh, it's going to happen. Sam Darnall's going to come back to haunt us. It's going to happen. With Kevin O'Connell. Enjoy.

Justin Jefferson? That's going to happen. You're going to Mike Yeh, you could have just very easily said, which is more Mike Yeh? Who's more Mike Yeh to come back and haunt us? And then had both of them. And Mike Yeh could have paid. That might have been one of them. I'm sorry. Because guess what? Mike Yeh never gets to play more Mike Yeh because he's always the host. And it would have been a nice treat for him to play. Oh, I'm sorry. Let's play it right now. Let's play it right now. Let's play it right now. Let's play it.

We'll get to your top five stories that no one's talking about that you stole from NFL.com. We'll get to your top five. We'll get to I wouldn't be surprised if. But let's play on Mike Lee. More Mike Lee. Sorry. Yeah, get it right. All right. The Stanley Cup is in South Florida. Yeah. So which trophy is more Mike Lee to come to Florida next? The Lombardi or the college football playoff national championship trophy? Lombardi. Lombardi. Yeah, Lombardi.

I mean, Canes or Dolphins? No, Florida. It could be any Florida team. Oh, any Florida team. Florida State? No. Lombardi still. University of Florida. Mm-hmm.

UCF, USF. They're never. I mean, we have expanded playoffs now. We do. With less miles at the helm, you never know. Right. We do have expanded playoffs. I'll say the NFL. I'll say Lombardi. I say Lombardi, too. And I'm not saying it as someone that thinks it's coming anytime soon. No, but it has a better chance. Dolphins are there. Baker can put it together. But college also, you just need, especially with the transfer report, you just need a year. You need one season. NFL is more of a tricky rebuild.

I can't imagine Miami, Florida State. I shouldn't say that. It's so hard to win the Super Bowl. Billy's going to change my mind. It just takes one season to rebuild in college. You're right. It does. You get the right donor. You get the right transfer. You get one big transfer and boom. Like Syracuse, I am telling you right now, Syracuse is going to be. Billy? No. They got a quarterback they don't normally get. He transferred from Ohio State.

He was their starting quarterback last year. That guy never goes to Syracuse. And now he's at Syracuse because they offered him more money. I mean, to your point, that's all I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what's next? Wait, so did you change? No, Lombardi. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. What are you more Mike Lee to be watching this holiday season? Holiday touchdown on the Hallmark channel or a meaningless game between the Panthers and Cardinals?

That whole Chiefs thing sounded interesting. Yeah, it really did. I want to see if Andy Reid shows up. Spags in it. Is he spags in it? Yeah, I want to see now. All right, hold on a second. Maybe he's in there. Or the choices again. Cardinals-Panthers game or the Hallmark Channel movie with the Chiefs?

I'm going to say Cardinals and Panthers only because I can't bet on the movie. Cardinals play at Panthers December 22nd, so it's right... It's like days before Christmas. Oh, I did my research. Yeah. I did my research. This is prime, like...

Let me get in the holiday spirit Last minute things Maybe we're making Some holiday cookies Or something at the time Sure Last minute shopping Right Maybe we're delayed On putting up a tree Or decorations of some sort So like You're looking for The holiday music You're looking for The holiday movies At this time Yeah you are I'm going movie I'm gonna go with the movie I think Again I can't bet On the movie I'm certain I could bet On the movie Well no I can't bet On the movie Well hold on That'd be amazing I'll take a bet I'll take a bet

Hold on. Andy Reid makes an appearance at plus 200. Plus 300, yeah. Okay. I have a question. Spags marries Taylor Swift. So this game, the 22nd, is a Sunday game.

We're ruling out red zone. Red zone is not an option. I'm in a home that only has this game and the holiday movie, right? Yes. That's what he said. Sure. All right. Holiday movie. Well, that's how you have to play it. Not sure. It's a Sunday, right? There's other games. Yeah. Cause you have red zone. You have the whole Sunday slate, but if it's just watch that game or the movie movie, I mean, the strange thing, the great thing about the NFL is that that game couldn't mean something. We have no idea. Yeah. Carolina could be good. Arizona could be good. Unlikely. Unlikely.

On Mike Lee, excuse me. But they could be good. And so that's the beauty of the NFL. I'm taking the game. Yeah, same game. I was diehard. No, I didn't go to the game. I went movie. I went movie. I'm going game. You went movie. Yeah, sorry. I wasn't listening. I'm going to say ask me after my fantasy draft. What? What? Because if I end up with Kyler Murray or like. That's not the game. I know. Hallmark movie. Yeah. Probably the game. Yeah, the game. The game. Game. Game. All right, next.

That's a big week of games. It is. And the holiday movie. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a big week for both. Big week for entertainment. Honestly, I said that's a big week for games, just scrambling, looking at the schedule, and I haven't seen a great game. Not a lot of good games. There's not a lot of great games. That day in particular is not a ton of good ones. Not that you know of. Not that you know of. Yeah, that's true. There could be plenty of big games that weekend. 49ers are at the Dolphins that day. Here's what I'm saying, Billy. You don't know if those games are going to be big or not. You know what movies are trotting out there. I mean, it's Home Alone and Die Hard. Yeah. Every week. Right.

All right, one more, Mikey. More Mike Lee to have a better season on his new team. Saquon Barkley or Josh Jacobs? Barkley with the Eagles.

Where's Jacobs? Jacob with the Packers. I was about to say, I have no idea where Josh Jacobs plays. Did you notice the pause there? I was trying to sneak it into your ear. Wait, but here's the question. Who else is with the Packers? What other running backs are still with the Packers? They got rid of all of them. A.J. Dillon, I believe, left, right? Quadzilla? Yeah. Yeah. Huh?

See, I need to know if AJ. AJ's there. Josh Jacobs, AJ. Oh, he resigned? Marshawn Lloyd, Emmanuel Wilson. Okay. So, Jacobs or Saquon with the Eagles. I'm going to say Jacobs. Jordan Love got engaged. God bless Love. He loves Love.

I don't know. She loves love. She loves love. She loves love. Yeah. What's the matter? And soon she's going to be love. Hold on. Hold on. We got to follow Billy down this path here. No, no, it's fine. No, no. You seem to have some questions and concerns about this. What's going on? 25 is a bit young. I agree with you. In my opinion. Tua got married in secret or whatever like a year ago. Yeah. Where did Jordan Love go to school? Utah State. Is he Mormon? What? I'm just asking. It's a good question. Yeah. Because I don't know. I don't know enough about it.

Is this like a high school sweet? So are you concerned that he's getting married too early? Or are you concerned that marriage might take his eye off the prize, which is football? Well, I mean, it's the real price. The Lombardi. Well, not just that. He's the Green Bay quarterback. Yeah, but we have also big contracts coming up for Jordan Love. Right. You know? Let's stay focused. We just had a great year. Wedding planning takes up

a lot of time and focus and attention. You don't want that. You don't want those added stresses when you're headed into a big contract. Right. Love's love. It'll be there, right? You wait a little bit. Love will wait. Exactly right. It's like Austin Eckler. I mean, he played seven, eight seasons before he decided to get married. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Kept his eye on the prize. That's right. Yep.

Then he went to Washington because it didn't work out, but that's fine. That's where the prize was, in Washington. Yeah, I guess. The new prize. Yes. Anyway. So Josh Jacobs. Jacobs. Yeah, sure. You don't share Billy's concern about Jordan Love getting married this early? Of course I do. I don't scream, don't do it. How old were you when you got married, Mikey? I was 30. Okay. That's the right age. How old were you? I think I was 32, 33. Oh. 32, I think.

Play the field, huh? You really took your time. I mean, I wasn't exactly financially stable. This isn't the best industry. Yeah, that's... I mean, you don't say. No, I mean...

Kids later than I thought. Going out for a nice pizza. Oh, there you go. Very nice. Not the whole pie. New York style? No. Can't afford that. I'll buy you a pie. There you go. Dinner's on me, Mike. Wow. Don't. It's on me. Dinner's on you. Dinner's on me. Go splurge, Mikey. Go wherever you want, Mikey. Get the clams on your pizza. Where are you going to go? Get some garlic rolls. I don't know. You're changing plans. The world has opened up to me.

He's like, how far is Boston? What is Connecticut? You don't think I could go big here? I know. No, no. Well, you can, you can. How far are you from Westport? Close enough. I've never had a meal less than $500 in that damn town. Jesus. No Westport, Billy. I mean, it's where Hal's from. Wingo. Greenwich, Connecticut. Billy, I have a question for you. Right. But not the gated one.

Chris Sims Telling us What was me story Of I have the smallest house without a gate But also my neighbor's Three blocks away from me is the craziest Story and the neighbor is Adam Silver It's the craziest thing Like you go trick or treating at your house Like no the houses are too far apart But don't worry I have the smallest one Okay Chris feel bad for you buddy Get out of here I miss him So do I so much

Oh, my God. That is so funny, Chris Sims. The way he tells the story. Oh, God, I don't have a gate. Yeah. Okay, Chris. Around my mansion. Billy, I have a question for you. Yeah. Would you rather have Tua or Dak? Haven't we played this game a bunch? I feel like I've heard this before. Yeah.

I'm just wondering. I feel like I'm committed to Tua at this point. You have to be. You're entrenched. Yeah, I'm committed to him. Holy s***, guys. There's a reason they're not signing that guy. Well, they don't want to pay him $50 million. Because they don't think he's good enough or he's worth $50 million, plus they can get Dak next year. For $60 million. I think that's probably more of the reason that they don't believe in him.

They probably think they can get an upgrade. They can. Yeah, because let me tell you. Trevor Lawrence for that much money is asinine. This quarterback, the player never has the leverage or rarely does. Adam Schefter told us he did. Jerry botched this. He has all the leverage. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if. Next.

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I lied. I wouldn't be surprised if we'll be in the last segment.

I wouldn't be surprised if you lied. Well played, Mikey. Jackass. Spags. Spags.

We have a lot to get to, though. Fuentes is a top five, but more importantly, someone on NFL.com is very upset that we're not discussing five stories. Fuentes, do you have those stories available? Yes, Eric Edholm of NFL.com says there's five stories and no one's talked about enough. We'll start with number five. It's the new kickoff rules. Here we go.

So these are stories no one's talking about, according to this guy at NFL.com. He says they're not getting enough attention. Okay. Okay, so the first one's the new kickoff rules, and he says that... Who is he? And he says the new rule change this offseason, it's very stark and dramatic. It will absolutely impact games. He said that all the kickoff return numbers, the averages over the past four seasons, have been about 1,000 yards and seven touchdowns. Last year, only 587 return yards and four touchdowns.

I'll worry about that week one or week two when I get upset. I can't spend my off season worrying about kickoff rules. So this guy is right. This is a story no one's talking about. But he's wrong in thinking more people should. We'll talk about this when the season gets here. This is not important right now. Eric, go to the beach.

Hold on. What percentage of football fans are going to turn on their TV week one and go, what the hell are they doing? Yeah. You know what? And Eric's defending right, Mikey. He's trying to shed some light on it right now. Right. So you're aware. Yes. And what percentage of those households is there going to be the person that's like, I know all the rules and then tries to explain that and realize doesn't know the rules. And then Justin Fields is there returning kickoffs. And we're like, what the hell?

Did you see that Madden put out a preview for their new Madden and Fields was returning kickoffs in the preview? They had it in the trailer, Justin Fields returning kickoffs. That's fantastic. All right. Wilson slipped somebody a hundred bucks to do that. What's number four here? Number four is Anthony Richardson's health. I feel like people are talking about that. I haven't really heard a lot about it, but you know who told him?

Don't get hit so much. Joe Flacco. Yeah, don't get hit so much. You know who's backing him up? Is it Trevor Lawrence? Oh, it's Trevor Lawrence. That makes sense. Because I'm like, Joe Flacco doesn't run anywhere. Why would Joe Flacco run anywhere? Right, but Joe Flacco's his backup now. In the event that he gets hurt. He's telling him, hey, don't please. Listen, Richardson...

What a talent. If he could stay healthy and stop running, he's going to be great. The thing is, he doesn't really have much other than that right now. Well, he's got a cannon for a norm. But inaccurate. True. It's tough. Was it his throwing shoulder or his other shoulder he injured?

Throwing shoulder, then we should be more concerned about him. We should be talking about his injury. Yeah. It just says here that it was recently surgically repaired. I don't think it was his throwing shoulder. We're fine. Eric, go to the beach. Get a hobby. What's next? We're on the number three? Yeah. Oh, wait. Sustained an injury to his AC joint in his right throwing shoulder. Oh, we should be talking about it. Back to the beach, Eric. We got something to talk about. Ditch all your hobbies. Tell the family we can't go. Not a beach day. We got to talk about it.

Anthony Richardson's shoulder. Right after we talk about the kicking. Yeah, yes. But if he stays healthy, Richardson, watch out for the Colts. Huh? How's that for analysis? Anyway, number three. Number three, Daniel Jones and Drew Locke.

No. I think we're all right. Listen. Mike, you heard it. I haven't spent this. There's not a single day in my life where I've spent any time. Forget about talking about Drew Locke. Thinking about Drew Locke in June or July. It's not happening. I don't care if he thinks we should be talking about it. I'm not talking about Drew Locke. No. I'm not doing it. No. Daniel Jones and Drew Locke's families are dreading the day they retire from football and they have to go to Thanksgiving again. And I stand by that. Hmm.

Okay. You have Drew Locke missing a lot of Thanksgivings. Yeah, they're just focused on football. They're not going to the big Thanksgivings. Right, but when is Drew Locke's team ever featured on Thanksgiving? Well, I'm just saying he's supposed to be focusing on things. He's not at the Thanksgiving. You're right. Yeah. Am I? I don't know. Number two. Oh, thank God. The Raiders QV situation. Aiden O'Connell, Gardner Minshew.

Oh, Minshew. Minshew's got to be the starter. He's got to be the starter. It's got to be. It's Conor Minshew. Dude was a pro bowler last year. Next week, I'm coming up with a better top five. This isn't a top five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five. This is five.

And number one, you already hinted on it. Wait, we're not done discussing Aiden O'Connell. Oh, yeah, you need it. At Gardner Minshew. What's Jared Stidham up to? What is he up to? I don't know. He's got to be a backup in New England. Timber Hoyer. That's where they all end up. Timber Hoyer. He's on the Broncos, isn't he? He's part of the QB room for the Broncos. Stidham, yeah. Yeah. Really? Stidham? Yeah, it's Stidham, Bo Nix, and your boy. Zach. Bad hair.

Aiden O'Connell. What are we supposed to start? Gardner Minshew. Minshew. Minshew. That put Aiden O'Connell in a bad spot. Sign Gardner Minshew. It's basically like. Listen, Aiden O'Connell is just lucky to be in the league. Just collect the checks and be done. We saw him at the Super Bowl. He was walking around. Big guy.

He was there. He was there with somebody. I don't even remember. Oh, yeah. He was there the first day. I just don't remember who he was. With all the other guys who didn't make the Super Bowl. He was there, I think, for the Charmin house. Yeah. He was standing on toilet paper. Who was he with? I don't know. A receiver, I think. That Charmin house was great. Yeah. That's what Super Bowl week is all about. Number one. Yeah. Is Tua the next $50 million QB? That's all we're talking about. I know. I just talked about it. I don't get why he would put that.

Should I give you one of the stories people are talking about too much? Sure. He's not, though. Number one, the Falcons QB situation.

People are talking about that too much. There is no situation. I haven't heard a single person talking about it. When was this written? I don't know. Number one, how good's QB situation? I mean, I just had a 30 minute conversation with Stake Shapiro, who was a legendary host in Atlanta, and he didn't mention it once. Were you a guest? No, we were just talking. Okay. Yeah. This one's actually interesting. The Bills off season of unloading vets.

Is that talking about too much? Another thing I haven't really heard a lot about. Who's Eric talking to? I don't know. What are the other ones on there? Did you mix up the lists? Yeah, I'm confused here. The Chargers wide receiver panic.

They got rid of Keenan Allen. They got rid of all of them. Mike Williams, too. Panic. Mike Williams. But who's panicked? Who's talking about this? Who's the panic? Who's talking too much about this? Yeah. I'm sure Adam Schefter's son knows everything that's going on. Not Adam Schefter's son. His brother is very locked into this. Remember he said his brother was a Chargers fan and we didn't know why. Who else is on this? Good callback. Yeah. Thank you, Mike. And the number five. You'll like this one. Texans as Super Bowl contenders. Yes. I mean. A little early.

Well, it's not. I mean, they should be. Too many people are talking about that. Right. I just don't... Some people, maybe. That one's under the... Around the water cooler? Too many, though. I don't know. Too many people? I guess we should know where Eric lives because, like... Let's have Eric on the show. Oh, no. I could probably get him. I don't know. I mean, Eric's...

Seems like a nice guy. He's trying to do his job. He's trying to come up with content. He gave us content. That's fine. We're going to talk to Eric. He's going to be like, let's talk about the kickoff rules. I'm like, no, thank you, Eric. Not interested. I want to show him how to do one of these lists. That's all. Oh, do you? I'm sure that's going to go well. I'm sure Eric really wants you to teach him how to do his job. It's going to be great. I just want to help a guy out. Yeah. What would you tell him? What stories would you put? What's your list? I have to think about it. Just think of one list, one story that's being talked about too much. Too much? Yeah. Too much.

The kickoff rule. He just said it's not being talked about. I don't care what he says. I say what I say. It's my list. It's my list. We're off his list. This is my list now. Because we should spend a second talking about the kickoff rules. Not a second. Until Justin Fields is returning kicks. One second is too many seconds. If Justin Fields starts returning kicks, I'm talking about it. Then we can talk about it. But we're not even really talking about the rule. We're just talking about Justin Fields. If he should be doing it. Yeah. That's intriguing to me.

Fields returning kicks and playing running back and wide receiver. It is. He's a great athlete. I don't think he'd be a good running back. We talked about this. All he did was run. I know, but it's different. Like I said, broken play. I have some news for you guys. Breaking? Might make Eric feel better. Anthony Richardson will be a full go at training camp. According to Chris Ballard. We're talking about it. We don't even have to talk about it anymore. We shouldn't be worried about it. He's a full go. He's good.

It would appear. Might get upgraded to the list of things too many people are talking about. Yeah, I guess. It could transfer over. But he needs to stop running. That's what we should be talking about. Is there a list of stories that are being talked about just enough? No, there's no list that says stories that are being talked about just the right amount. Darn. I know. That's his next column. Yeah. Like a good darn. Big darn guy. That are being talked about just enough. The right amount of being talked about. The proper amount.

Who's the commissioner? Here's a very easy one that you put on the list. Things that are being talked about too much in the NFL. Travis Kelsey. Too much. Too much. Easy to put on the list. Yeah, not for football. But he didn't want to talk about that? Or he thinks it's being talked about just enough? Yes. If it's not on the list, we're talking about just enough. That's true. If it's not on the list, we're talking about just enough. I said that him showing up at Taylor's show, very look at me, Louie.

Did you see the video of Jason Kelsey? So Jason went with him to the show. And then Jason was just walking around outside the stadium before the show and ran into someone wearing a Jason Kelsey jersey.

He ran into a kid wearing a Jason Kelsey jersey, took a picture with him. I think he signed something for him. So cool. It kind of is. It really is. Yeah. The kid had one of those mouth-gaping moments. He was really shocked. Yeah. It was a cool moment for him. And also, no one else knew who Jason Kelsey was because it was a Taylor Swift concert. And he probably loved it because... Oh, certainly he loves it. Yeah. Travis wants everyone to know...

He came, okay, for the show. And I'm okay with that. I'm not, you know, blaming Travis for wanting that, but he clearly wants that, and Jason does not. He came out in the tuxedo. He did a whole little dance number. I was told he was good. Yeah, he might have been, but let your girl do her thing. You go send this dance.

Wasn't he dancing with Tom Cruise at one of the concerts? Yes, in the VIP box, yeah, with a bunch of celebrities. So Tom Cruise missed his daughter's graduation to go to a Taylor Swift concert. I did see that, too, yes. I mean, are you kidding me? Weird priorities. You should be taking your daughter to Taylor Swift for her high school graduation. I think that conversation went. I'm sure he invited her.

He invited her. She had something else to do. And she said, no, no, dad. I don't want to go to Taylor's. No, I got graduation. You go dance with Travis Kelsey. I'm fine. Don't worry. Terrible job. I cruise Prince William dancing at the concerts. Good dancer.

I cannot imagine. You know that he was not. What do you mean he's shaking it off like he has to dance at his wedding? No, he's English. No, he was dancing to shake it off. He was giving it his all. It wasn't good, but he was into it. Yeah. So not a good dancer. No. A for effort. A for effort. Yeah. A for enthusiasm. D minus in execution. All right.

We have a Fuentes top five and we will finally get to I wouldn't be surprised if and we determine Billy's story of the month. Wow. Next. We have a lot of things we have to do before we get out of the show today. We have to give my story of the month. Yep. Can we just do that? We can kind of just check that off the list. It's going to order story of the month. Yeah. Right now we're doing it right now. Yeah. Do it right now. Less miles.

Yeah, Les Miles. Les Miles. Yeah, I think that one was even close. Check that off of it. The reigning champion, Les Miles. So congratulations to Les Miles' story. You have now won...

I don't really have a prize to send you because who do I send it to? Les Miles? What am I going to send him? Three wins? I can't do that. No, it's not the Hall of Fame. But listen, you are the winner of Billy's Story of the Month. Take the wins when you can. Exactly right. Take this win. And I think now you only need one. If you want, I can write a letter to the Hall of Fame on your behalf saying I give you a win this week. So you're only one short. Les Miles. You're not going to do that. Well, look, I promise you this. Okay. And I know what you're thinking, Mikey Wolf Wolf. I promise you this.

Les Miles, if you reach out to me asking for me to write a letter to the Hall of Fame on your behalf, counting this win as a win towards your record, I will do so. Okay.

Balls in your court, Les. Spags, spags. I'd like to get Les Miles on the show, and I want Les Miles to feel our support for him. Sure. Can we do that? I'm going to try to get Les Miles next week. Okay. All right? He probably won't be able to say anything if he's suing someone. I just want him to—he doesn't have to say a word.

That was weird. It would be a weird interview, but I just want him to hear and feel our support for Les Miles. That's all. I wouldn't be surprised if he passes on that. I do think the story of the month winner, we should bring him on to present him with something, you know? Okay. Well, we have, I wouldn't be surprised if we haven't even explained how the game works. Oh yeah. How does that game work? So you take something from the NFL. Yeah. And that, you know, is unlikely to happen this year. And, and,

You say, I wouldn't be surprised if you want an example. Yes. Okay. I wouldn't be surprised if the Chicago bears win the super bowl about that.

That's how you play the game. And now we all have to say one? Yep. But you didn't tell us this before, so none of us prepared for this. So none of us thought of anything. I've been teasing it since the first segment. But you didn't tell us what the game was. Oh, I'm sorry. We didn't say we were doing it. You just said you had a game. You can make the game whatever you want to make the game. I'm choosing the NFL, okay? You can be surprised about anything. Go ahead. Or you'd not be surprised. I feel like we've played this before. Well, probably, you know, June, July. I mean.

I think I did this game, like one of the first episodes. Really? Yeah. Maybe not. So your surprise was? I wouldn't be surprised if the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl. Wouldn't be surprised. Good team, good defense. Caleb Williams, they're usually not wrong on that guy. Like when they take, except for Trevor Lawrence. Just football or anywhere. But when the NFL says this guy's going to be great, that guy's usually great.

Number one overall pick, quarterback, usually great. Peyton Manning, great. Troy Aikman, great. John Elway, great. Caleb Williams, if he's great, they got a chance of winning the Super Bowl. That's all. I feel like that's a weird trend we have with quarterbacks now, though. You got to be great the first year. They usually don't go like that. Peyton Manning's first year was terrible.

Oh, awful. Yeah. Yeah. And then Brady didn't start until what? His second or third year. I want to say he started. So got hurt. He started when Bledsoe got hurt his first second season. I don't know. I'm sure. But now, like, if you're not CJ Stroud, bust. You're out. Yeah. And if you're Bryce Young, you have like, that's it. Yeah. Bryce Young's already careers over. Yeah, exactly. That's weird. That's why a big Bryce, big Bryce Young guy this year. Yeah. I want to see him do good.

Why? Because it's like you're on the worst team ever. And then everybody, oh, you're because you just want to watch that Carolina game. I was going to say good enough that you're going to miss the holiday touchdown. Anyone else have one? What? I have another one, actually. Do you? Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't be surprised if Dak Prescott is the Dolphins quarterback next year. Wow. You kind of already got to that earlier.

Well, I'm going two seasons ahead now. Okay. Because I already checked off this season. All right. This season, I wouldn't be surprised if the Bears win the Super Bowl. Yeah. I'm kind of in on that. Dak's going to be the quarterback here. Well, you guys said that like a segment ago. I'm just saying I wouldn't be surprised. When we played the other game with Tua. But I didn't say I was in on it. Now I'm in on it. Do you have one? I wouldn't be surprised if Mikey spent his free time running with one of those loops that you hit with a stick and chases it.

I like your game. Yeah. In the past, sure. Now I don't do much running. It was just based on your new look that you have going this week. I wouldn't be surprised if Mikey runs. To be honest with you, it's just based on your new look that you have going this week. You wouldn't be surprised. I would be surprised, yes. How about this? A new game. I would be surprised if. I wouldn't be surprised. How about this? How about this? I have another one. I have another one. If I was a single man, I wouldn't be surprised if I went to the same bar every

years apart and ran into the same person i wouldn't be surprised wouldn't be surprised if that happened yeah i mean either wouldn't be get their number local neighborhood yeah i'm gonna put in the number you realize i already have this number then you have a weird encounter that would be insane i'm not surprised wouldn't be surprised if that happened especially because you're married billy that'd be really weird yeah well no in this scenario it was not right yeah wouldn't be surprised if that were to happen crazy yeah yep

Feel sorry for whoever that happens to. I do too. Really awkward. How do you get out of that? It's awkward. Especially in the digital media age. You just follow people on Instagram. Oh my gosh. How do you get out of that? What if you tell someone and then they word it out? Tell that story? That'd be annoying. Pretend it's new, but it's not. Exactly right. You slip sink ships. Jeez. Anyway. I hope that guy's doing okay. Anyone else I wouldn't be surprised if?

Or we can move on to Travis Kelsey's box. Yeah, Travis Kelsey's box. Let me tell you, his box star studded included Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, and Greta Gerwig, the director of Barbie. And then the next night, he went back, obviously, because his girlfriend's performing. And in his box, Sir Paul McCartney and Bon Jovi. Did you see him dancing? Did you see Paul McCartney dancing with Swifties? Was he good?

I mean, how old are you, like 80 years old? He was having fun. That's the thing about dancing, right? If you're having fun, who cares? The key to dancing is just not caring. Exactly right. You know you look like a fool. Just go out there and dance. It doesn't matter. Wait, who was the box the first night? The first night included Mila Kunis, Aston Kutcher, Tom Cruise, and Greta Gerwig, who's the director of Barbie. Okay, and then next night? The next night, well, one of the nights. There were three nights there. Sir Paul McCartney and Jon Bon Jovi.

If you could only be in one of those boxes. I think I'm taking the Bon Jovi box. Really? A box for your life. Well, no, Tom Cruise in the other one. Are you a Tom Cruise guy? I'm going Cruise. Tom Cruise might be one of the greatest or the greatest actor of all time. He's been in a bunch of stuff. Yeah.

Awesome Mila Kunis fan. Mila Kunis was on our show once. I mean, 20 minutes. I'm sizing this up from 20 minutes. One of the coolest guests we've ever had on. Really? Yes. She seems cool. Yeah. Did not know Ukrainian immigrant. Paul McCartney is 82. If I'm 82 and dancing, if I'm 82, really, if we're going to just stop. Forget the dancing. Yeah. If I make it to 82, win. Win.

And I'll donate that win to Les Miles. And I'll put that in the Hall of Fame letter, and he's good. That's two. We're good, Les. 600. I got you. Tell Les that next week. Can he wait 35 years? 45 years? Les is 70, so lots of against him. He could be a coach in that league. That's right. Sean Alexander League. 2,000 yards against other 50-year-olds. A musician with technical knowledge can play all the right notes.

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