Hour 1: Two Weeks of Weekend Observations
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It is time for Stu Gatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Weekend Observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery.

Dan, it's my favorite week, third favorite week on the sports calendar. The history, the gusty winds, the lack of sun, golfers playing in ski caps, Royal Troon, and Dan, just like that. Make no mistake about it, Open Championship Week is back.

You guys are going to do a golf and tennis show, aren't you? You and Mike Ryan. This is how we age. We were good on tennis yesterday. Yeah, we were solid. Yeah.

Which I do say so myself. Would Howard Bryant say that? Howard Bryant, who once tore both his hamstrings getting out of bed, he really knows tennis. He's been trying to advocate for tennis. No place for it at Meadowlark. You guys are saying that you just did the best six minutes of tennis in the history of this show? No, I'm saying we did six minutes. Yes. And for that, I'm grateful.

And I also did limited fake Pierce Brosnan from 1997. It was on. Chris, I encourage you please to keep working. We need a Trump and we need a Biden. You're the only hope we've got. And Nolan, right? Soon enough, I'll get you to bite and ask me for it. Donald Trump playing golf the day after someone tried to assassinate him. Hockey player. Dan, if you think Africa is hot. What, Roy? You should try Las Vegas on for size. Please don't compare him to hockey players, please. Don't insult me like that. I don't know.

Stugatz, you guys don't understand. There's a lane. Stugatz knows it for the asshole. He's the closest thing to the right that we've got. We're too woke. We're too left. Stugatz says, I'm annoyed by all of them. And he's a man of the people. That's the way you play it, Stugatz. It's a good lane. I was helping Pablo out there. Have you met Tony? If not, you can meet him on Wednesday. Fair enough. For the Tony show. Fair enough. An ensuing best ball draft. And it's all presented by DraftKings. Okay.

They need to do that show. Hustle Gang's going to be there. Look, you tell me there's not a good show and Stugatz and Tony trying to grab more sports audience on the right with a show that just says, we're right. Tell me there's not money in that. We have to put the town on alert. Jose Alvarado leads Puerto Rico to their first Olympics since 2004. I only tell you that to tell you this. His nickname is Grand Theft Alvarado. It's good.

It's a good one, Mike. It was a good one. It's all I can do. He also says volcano at one point. And he never actually says that he's from Europe because he does attempt an American accent, but it's mostly just have to put the town on alert.

Group A in Olympic basketball. Canada, Spain, Greece, Australia, otherwise known as the group of death. Greece is adopting a six-day work week. Who do they think they are? Metal Ark Media? Dan? Greece is? Greece is, yes. All the way up from two? Yes, they're up to six. What? How about that? You know what the M in Metal Ark stands for? Wait a minute. Mykonos. Mykonos.

Hold on a second. What am I being accused of? Making everybody work six days a week? I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm pointing it out. But is that an accusation that anyone else other than Stugatz is willing to make while expense accounting us from Tahoe for the word of work? I could speak a word into a microphone. I would never cower to my co-founder asking me that direct question over microphones. Football season's just around the corner, folks. Oh, dear God. Oh, dear God. God help us.

Oh, man. Carlos Alcaraz defeats Novak Djokovic. Dan, you know what the C in Carlos Alcaraz stands for? I do not. Changing of the guard.

I'm sorry. No, I was just going to say, like, that was a – I imagine – this is what I would say. I imagine that you guys – I don't know everything you've talked about, but I imagine if you did six minutes of tennis, holy shit, the era of tennis that we just came through. Oh, my God. Those three guys, all Michael Jordans at the same time of their sport. That was a solid four and a half minutes of it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty great time we came through. Yeah, we dedicated 30 seconds to the 2008 Wimbledon final. Yeah. I mean, Alcaraz beat one of the Jordans in straight sets. I know, because they're getting old. It sucks to get old. Where we were taking it is like, who can actually challenge this guy? Who's the Nadal? Who's the Novak Djokovic? Who won? Fritz? Fritz?

I like Fritzie. Yeah, we've got some good Americans. Yeah, we do. Tennis isn't a good place. It really is. We just need these other guys to come online. Sinner, Medvedev. You always think it's going to be in a bad place. Serena's out. You know, Djokovic, Federer, they're out. Nadal is out. But there's always guys working. There's kids working around the world and at their craft. There's always the next great tennis player right around the corner. I fall for it every time. Medvedev, properly online. Just more consistent. Let's see emotions get the best of him. Yeah. Such a man. Yeah.

Put the town on alert. We buzzsaw through children hitting a ball lonely and create them very young into these robots who risk their mental health to hit a racket, hit a ball again and again and again, devour our young, feed on them. Yes, the tennis machine churns on, fed by tiny young people who shouldn't be so competitive at nine years old hitting a ball.

The fan who caught Carlos Santana's 30 for 30 ballpark home run asked for giant season tickets in exchange for the ball. The twins declined. He got batting gloves. Hey, pal. Next time, get a lawyer. Are you Don Johnson? I just did that. Hey, pal. Hey, pal. Mike, I meant to ask you. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Stu. That's okay. You were accused by Greg Cody. I'm sorry Greg Cody is here and not here today. I don't know why he's not here.

You were accused by subpoena by Greg Cody of elderly abuse and what else? Age discrimination because you hit him with three pals. Yeah. Three pals. Stugatz only used one. But he said, hey, in front of it. Hey, pal. Which is an homage to Miami Vice. And we can't let it go unnoticed. Yeah.

We have to put the town on alert. It wasn't even written down. What's the status of your legal thing with Cody and where's- Turns out that's not a real law office. Where's Cody? He's coming back from Europe. How dare he take vacation during an important time? I mean, the ESPYs were on. Open championship week. We dedicated 12 minutes straight to celebrity golf.

In this week's edition of July, first take debated, who was under the most pressure to win a title? The Cowboys, the Lakers, or the Yankees? What are we doing? Sports television. Give me $30 million a year. That's what we're doing. And it's the Cowboys. That's what we're doing.

I know, but that's what you're doing. Look, man, Skip built an empire over there, and now he leaves, and he's too old. Aging sucks. And what are you looking at, Billy? Well, because we were talking before this show, if Skip gets a day on first take, oh, man.

Imagine that lineup. He deserves a day. A day with Shannon, a day with Skip, a day with Mad Dog. He should be able, like football players, like athletes do, go back to his original team at first take, have a day, and retire there. I guarantee. I guarantee.

I guarantee. That's a great idea. Thank you. That's going to happen. That is going to happen. Skip is going to show up and have a dedicated day. Let's do it this. Let's do it right now. Let's do it right now. Let's urge ESPN. Please give us that day. It likely won't be Shannon's day. Shannon and Skip will not be there the same day. Please give us that day. Man, Bayless deserves to go out like that. Mad Dog and Skip on the same day, though? I mean, that's what dreams are made of. No, but a rocket ship. ESPN is claiming that first take can exist without Stephen A. Smith.

That's what they're claiming. Please, dear God, ESPN, I'm imploring you. Let us have Skip Bayless Day one last time at first take just so all of us in sports media could shoot a rocket out of our ass and get one last great show out of hating LeBron James for 20 years. Is that what they're claiming when they say Stephen A will give you $18 million a year but 25 is a little too much?

Billy, if you guys want to talk about this. No. You brought it up. But there's good shit here. Oh, my God, is there good shit? There is. I promise you. McAfee has a deal for $30 million a year with his production deal. He can pay for Saban and he can pay for, oh, my God. And why wouldn't Stephen A want more than all of that? They go get it or?

I mean, a chair just came open in Fox where they can take their whole outfit wherever they want to go if Shannon wants to break his contract. How much pent-up media observations do you have over the last half a month? I can only imagine. I mean, the floor is yours. And you got manna from heaven with the Skip Bayless news yesterday. Oh, my God. It was healing. Here's an excuse to talk about it. Oh, it was healing. As if it's fresh. Please let me escape to sports. It's the ultimate irony.

Please let me escape to sports so I don't have to talk about an assassination attempt. It's unbelievable that that's where I end up at the end of my career.

If I told you before your vacation to Africa that all this would happen and then the Monday after it, the lights would turn on in this studio, mics crack open, and it's your former executive producer and Stu Gatz left with a task to address our audience on the matter. Would you have gone? To a healing place of love and laughter and life with my wife and a good friend.

No, I would have just been here sitting in the seat. That's correct. I'm still on page one. Yeah, it's going to be a minute. Woj tweeting, Paul George to the Sixers at 3.30 a.m. The Scoops life has to be a misery. It really has to. So bad. Shams, meanwhile, missed it because he was sleeping. You know what they say, Dan.

You snooze, you lose. I feel bad for all those guys. They have to be crazy people. I feel bad for Shams. He was sleeping. I know, but they can't sleep. They can't sleep. Not allowed to sleep. Well, I found a second thing to say. Woj is lurking at 2 a.m. I mean, what is Shams doing sleeping at 3.30 in the morning? Terrible job. Oh, my God. Your job is to stay awake. Just wait for a text.

Pent-up media observations. Those guys are paid so much to be made crazy by their jobs. Soccer isn't soccer if the Italians aren't good. Fair? Baggio? That's about all you know. That's the only one I know. That's about, okay, yeah. That's a long time ago. Yeah. Dallas, if you think you're a Klay Thompson away, I got news for you. You're not.

Does he look old? Does he look broken? Does he look like he's not going to look the way that he looked with Golden State? It looks like he could be an upgrade over Tim Hardaway Jr., though. Isaiah Hartenstein. Nice. You got it. Yeah. They left New York. They treated him like Patrick Ewing there. They really did. Congratulations. In Oklahoma City, you go back to being Isaiah Hartenstein. But that's what he was. Yeah, but he was Patrick Ewing.

Now he's Hartenstein. He sold out for the money, unlike Brunson, right? Brunson took a discount, right? He did. That happened while I was away. And they're saying Bridges is going to do the same thing. Who does that? Bridges. That's not a thing we're doing anymore in sports, is it? Brady. It's a little suspicious.

A Mets Nationals game. Finished it under two hours. I miss the long games. Why are we in such a rush? No. I do. Dude. I miss them. I was at a Cubs game for the first time ever a couple weeks ago. I was stunned. My wife and daughter went to the bathroom in the seventh inning. The game was over by the time they came back. It's wonderful. Slow it down. It's so great. They fixed all of it. Ooh.

Why are we rushing? We're rushing everywhere. That was the one place, baseball, where you didn't rush. This is lame for you. It was timeless. Pastoral, yes. There are no clocks. Yes, it was timeless. And now they've got a clock on it. Why? Because hurry up. Two hours, we need all our money. A hot dog eating contest without Joey Chestnut isn't a hot dog eating contest in my personal record book, stugatzbook.com. What's happening with that? We're writing it. We're selling it. Why do you think he was at Tahoe?

A couple of blurbs. Got someone else to write a chapter. You were collecting blurbs in Tahoe? Maybe I asked Jason Kelsey. You've asked a lot of people to contribute to this book. I hope they're all getting like a nice fruit basket or something. We're figuring something out. We don't know what it is yet.

I'll get back to you on it. So it's Stugatz using all his powers to write a book that hasn't been written using every person he can ask something from in the next few months. Listen, the book has been written. It's been delivered. We're ready to go. Just waiting on you, pal. People are saying that me forward. I mean, I wrote it for you already delivered and you're waiting for someone. Well, I mean, me. What do you mean me? I sent you the forward already. I know. What do you not know? A little lengthy. Oh, he wants it edited.

Why are you blaming me for this book? I'm not blaming you. The book is fine. The book is happening. It's going to be released in early December. November 26, 2024. Like I said, late November, right in time for the holidays. There you go. But the book is done. Listen, I saw Jay Billis and Tao. I thanked him. He's a co-author of the book. I thanked him. I said, we're going to do something for charity. I mean, and your forward was great. I mean, I just haven't gotten through it all yet. That's all. I know you've asked me a couple of times, but.

It's on me. It's not you. Want to pay Stu yet? I actually, forgive me. I'm just legitimately stunned by this because I wrote it for Stugatz and I said, I think this is too mean. You asked me to make it mean and I'm roasting you and this doesn't feel right. And can you send it back to me if this is like not gentle enough? I need your wife to read it. Like, this doesn't feel right to me. I have to read it first. Okay. I'm getting to it. Hey, Bertoletti, do it against Chestnut.

And then do it against Kobayashi. And then do it 15 more times. Cubs reliever Colton Brewer broke his hand after punching the wall in the dugout. He fought the wall, and the wall won. That's pretty good. That's like the first good pun you've had in about seven months. That's excellent. Thank you. If you didn't have pigs in a blanket on the 4th of July, guess what? You didn't celebrate the 4th of July.

Is that right? Put that on the poll, Juju. Is that right? I don't feel like that's your... That's not my... He's been pretty consistent about pigs in a blanket his entire broadcast career. I thought it was cocktail hour at the wedding you wanted. It's that Master's week. I mean...

What are we using pigs? Is that a July 4th thing? Yeah, of course. I mean, no. I've never been at a 4th of July party where someone brings around a tray of pigs in a blanket. You've never celebrated the 4th of July?

How about that? But wait a minute. Are pigs in a blanket? Go to JJ Watts' house. Are they actually hot dogs? They're not hot dogs. He's saying they're hot dogs. They're not hot dogs. Well, they kind of resemble that, but you did introduce a new thought in that he might not actually know what pigs in a blanket are, and he may have been confusing them with hot dogs this entire time. For his whole career? Mike, that can't be. You just said perhaps. For his whole career, he's thought pigs in a blanket...

Mike. A Wikipedia says in the United States, pigs in a blanket are small hot dogs. Thank you. Many hot dogs. I had Nathan's. I'm telling you. I mean. He may not actually know. Bed's about to end. The Jason Pierre Paul top five athletes that connote the 4th of July. Telling on that. His naming rights. O-L-I. Steve Sparks.

Rocket Ismail. If you surprise me with it one more time, I'm leaving. Number five. I didn't say anything yet. I just said number five. Cooper Flagg. He's good. Number four. Red Grange. I wasn't done. Whitey Ford and Blue Edwards. Bear Grylls. Number two. Joe Nathan.

Number one, Lonnie Walker, the fourth. I was looking for, where's that fourth? Where's that fourth? Where's he going to find? Are there any other fourths? Nah. Are there any other in sports history? Someone who goes around out there with the royal fourth. Kelly Olenek is a Raptor. Oh, you know what news I did get on Safari? Quickly's worth a hundred and how many million? It was 160. That's crazy.

I mean, what? You're on a weird algo because of, I guess, all the Knicks coverage. Why is ESPN sending me alerts when Bronny makes a layup in Summer League? And they haven't sent many. What are they sending you? Alerts. Alerts. 3-12 in his first Summer League game for the Lakers. You know what Dalton couldn't do, Dana? Connect. Uh...

The B in Bronte stands for bust. Oh, wow. Already get there fast. The N in Bronte stands for nepotism. The other N stands for a second helping of nepotism. Greg Berhalter can't trust a Greg with two Gs. Put it on the poll, please. Can you trust a Greg with two Gs? Greg's isn't with two Gs. You know this, yes? He would co-sign, though. Yeah, but he would agree. He's a big anti-two Gs guy. Houston Airport. How about a bathroom?

You know what the H in Houston Airport stands for, Dan? How about a bathroom? I mean, you can't find one. It's crazy. I've got to zip through these. The American Century Championship has become my fifth major. Top five athletes and entertainers who can own a lake. Number five, Victoria Beckham. Thank you, Roy. Number four, Ricky Lake. Number three, Paul George. Number four,

Number two, Raleigh Fingers. And number one, Ontario Smith. Whit Merrifield is a Philly. Top five athletes that connote something you would find on a lake. O-L-I.

Eddie House. Why are we doing this? Tim Wakefield. I was on a gummy. This is prime gummy me walking around Tahoe. This is prime, right? A lake. Okay, so a lake with a gummy. There's something beautiful about you taking your vacation time just by yourself to gummy it out on Lake Tahoe. It was, and then the sphere. And not work, just chill. Loved it. Hang out with Kelsey. Kids out of the house. Ask a bunch of people to write pages in your book for free that may or may not come out. A couple of blurbs.

Blurbs. I need to hear more about you trying to collect blurbs at this time. I need blurbs. I'm told they're important. Tim Wakefield. Can you say that already? Ricky the Dragon Steamboat. Danny Ferry. Algie Crumpler. Patrick Rafter. Bobby Orr. Rod Carew. Sam Bowie.

Marty Fish. Tim Salmon. Mike Trout. Steve Trout. I miss the days when the Red Sox-Yankees game with Leeds Sports Center. Taylor. Rest in peace to the great Dr. Ruth. In honor of Dr. Ruth, top five Ruths of all time. It's a long vacation, man. Yeah, a lot of gummies. Number five. Ruth Riley.

Number four, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Number three, Babe Ruth. Number two, Dr. Ruth.

Number one, Ruth Chris. Top five doctors all time. Steakhouse joke. OLI. Dr. Jerry Buss. Dr. Jerry Punch. Number five, Dr. Jack. Number four, Dr. James Andrews.

Number three, Dr. J. Number two, Dwight Gooden, Dr. K. Number one, Dr. Ruth. Reese Hoskins is a brewer. Doc Ellis? Oh, Doc Ellis. I forgot one. Doc Ellis. Psychedelics. You mentioned Trout. There was a stat that I saw the other day. Mike Trout hasn't played on the 4th of July since 2019. What? It's wrong. Not American.

If I was an athlete, I'd be insulted to be traded for cash considerations. Only thing worse is getting traded for a player to be named later. Imagine being so bad that your team says, hey, we'll figure it out when we get to it. Just get the hell out of here. Speaking of hell, Mark Riles. Dan, those are the weekend observations.

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The Smell Not Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Don Libetard. Common thread was Stu Gatz chumming it up with Aaron Rodgers. Yep. I mean, I met my quarterback. Yeah. As you know, as you know, Stu Gatz didn't talk to Aaron Rodgers. Nope. Ha ha ha.

Sugats thought country music superstar Jake Owen was Aaron Rodgers. They had a 20-minute conversation. Identical twins. I mean, Jesus. Sugats. Listen, I will never have the relationship with Aaron Rodgers that I have with the guy that I thought was Aaron Rodgers. I mean, that is the greatest conversation I've ever had with my quarterback. This is the Don Levitas Show with the Sugats.

Stugatz, I really genuinely need some help with what we're about to do here because I believe that the way that I came in off of Safari with very important news things happening and I want to show off Ron McGill's pictures and talk about Safari and next thing you know you're looking up and there's a luxury pool in the back and I'm saying we're staying in tents. And everyone's accusing Ron McGill of using all of the endowment funds on...

giant vacations all over the world, and Billy's at the lead on this. No, falsehoods. Not falsehoods. No, no. But I think it's fair to wonder how a county employee has been to Africa 54 times. It's because you're embezzling funds. Mike Schur has been accusing you of it for a long time. There's a paper trail of Metal Ark money that he has sent your way that just says...

I don't want this money. This is Ron McGill laundering money, faking, you know, sending it to animals. Ron, they want to hear about our luxurious vacation at the expense of the American public. Not the expense of the American public. As you know, Dan, you paid full price. I didn't pay full price, but I did pay some. And, you know, I get rewarded for all the conservation work I do over there by giving away food.

thousands of dollars from the endowment. As you saw, you were part of that. We gave it to the Cheetah Conservation Group outreach, Cheetah Outreach in South Africa. We gave it to the Painted Dog Research Trust in Zimbabwe. So this is thousands of dollars that are going to help protect these animals, conserve that precious wildlife down there. And listen, the places we stayed in, I'm not going to lie, they're the most luxurious. They're more luxurious than my house.

The only difference is they have canvas walls. But, you know, you've got these incredible four poster beds. You've got fireplaces in the tent. You've got, you know, the huge copper tubs. You got two big copper sinks. You got you know, it's an incredible it's hard to believe that they're tense. But, you know, that's all great. Great. You know, it's a great planes. They have such a wonderful organization over there and they do nothing but the best in Africa. What more can you tell us about Donald?

Which Donald? He's fine. You're talking about the Donald, the guy. He's fine. Listen, it was a hairy situation. I'm not going to lie to you. I've been to Africa many times. This is the third time that I have been quote-unquote attacked by an animal, but by far this was the

one of the closest experiences I've had to, you know, watching my life flash in front of me. And for me, it wasn't as much me. I was just thankful to God that my wife wasn't walking with me that morning, which she usually does every morning. But this morning she was really, really close. She said, you know, I'm going to stay in. I said, okay, great. So I went out there with Donald and went doing the wake-up calls. And as we got to this one tent, as I think Dan already explained, all of a sudden this huge Cape Buffalo just blew out of some big brush that she was hiding in and sleeping. And, yeah.

She came right at us and Donald reacted very quickly and myself with the flashlight. We put the flashlight right in the animal's eyes, using it much like a matador uses a red tape to have him drawn to the light. And just right before it hit us, we stepped to the side, keeping the light to the left of us. He went right into the tent, slashed the tent open.

Two of my most important guests, some of the biggest donors at the zoo were in that tent at the time and that was pretty hairy. She started screaming and I had to scream, "Shut up! Don't say anything!" We had to be quiet because that bull, that buffalo was going to follow the sound and I was just hoping and praying that it would go right as opposed to left because if it went left we had nowhere to go. Ron, speaking of that, so had the animals attacked and this is a scenario where the animal says, "You know what? You get to choose a donor that I kill."

Where would Dan fall on that list of the donors that would go when you're negotiating with said animal? I don't know. Dan would be at the very end of that list. Dan would be on the list. I'd throw myself in front of the buffalo before. Even this big donor, you said one of your biggest donors, you'd choose Dan over that person or yourself over that person? You know, I would choose Dan over anybody because Dan's family.

Okay. Well, then a lot of animals may die because I don't know that Dan knows how to keep your foundation alive. He must be doing something well because since this morning, donations have been coming in on a pretty steady rate. I'm pretty amazed by it. It's because you're a crook. Well, you know...

paying for these fancy vacations. I don't think I've been to Disney World 54 times, and it's like a three-hour drive. It seems like a lot. Are you going three times a year? When did you start these trips? There were times when I was working in Cheetah Conservation, yes, that I was going three and four times a year. I feel like after number 38, I'd be like, yeah.

I think I got it. No, no, let me tell you something, brother. There's a tiger. Let me tell you something, brother. Africa never disappoints. No two trips have ever been the same. There's always something that happens on each trip. I don't know if Dan told you about the time we're sitting here. We're following this pride of lions, okay? Three females, like seven cubs, and all of a sudden, we're in the brush, and we hear, boom, boom. It sounds like horses coming behind me, and I just look behind me, and here comes this Impala running right by the truck, literally, where you can touch the truck, and literally, boom.

15, 20 feet behind it, here comes this lioness. She's running through right after. She blows right by us in a truck. That's never happened to me before. It was so great because, you know, Dan's not the most demonstrative guy when it comes to emotion, but I looked at him and he looked at me and we kind of went, holy , that was unbelievable.

It's like Dead & Company. It's why I follow them. Every experience is different. I mean, listen, I saw Bertha in the second set. I've been to 180 shows. I have never seen Bertha coming out of drum space second set. They did it at the Sphere. That's why I continue to go. You need to do one of these. A fake Stu Gantz at the Sphere lives life the biggest way through psychedelics. You need to do one. It's a great character.

I'd love to take Stugatz on a safari like this. I would laugh my ass off the first time. Can you imagine, Dan, that time we walked in the path and right in front of us is an elephant? Can you imagine Stugatz being there? Can you imagine that? Who's paying, our listeners? You know, I'll tell you what, Stugatz. I think I would pay out of my pocket to bring you over there just to be able to record you, your reactions to things that would...

You would be crying like a little girl. I'll tell you what, I will do it if you come to Dead & Company with me at the Sphere and I can record you on mushrooms. Good?

Let's do all of that. Let's make all of that happen. Ron, rolling behind me on the screen here, you're an award-winning photographer. And I don't know, what do you guys want to know about this trip? Because it's clear that Ron is embezzling funds. It is clear that he is a corrupt county employee who is living the lavish lifestyle on the dime of all of our listeners who donate from all over the state because he manipulates them into giving him funds.

Rod, I was wondering, because traveling with friends is a very tricky game. It's a dangerous game. And so I am wondering, when you and Rita, you know, you have some alone time, you're in the yurt, that's the Ritz-Carlton. When you guys are hanging out, is there anything Dan did throughout the week where you and Rita are saying to yourselves, hey, this Levitard guy, enough. I'm tired of him. He keeps doing this. Is there anything that Dan did?

I got to tell you, no. I mean, Dan has some very strict dietary requirements that he's doing for his health and doing things very well. And I thought, you know, I was really concerned that they weren't going to be able to accommodate him with those dietary requirements. But he seemed to be doing very well. He seemed to be enjoying the food. I will tell you, I have had some of the most...

intimate and revealing conversations with Dan on this trip. You know, when you're sitting out under the Milky Way watching shooting stars by a fire, it's incredible how the walls come down and you talk about things that you really never had a chance to talk about. So for me, this was an invigorating, inspiring, and a very emotional trip for many reasons, but not the least of which was being able to really have time with Dan

boring answer Dan what did Ron do you think he's a big giant farter yeah

There has to be something. I mean, what? Like, this man. No friends go on vacation for a week, two weeks, without getting tired of each other. I mean, come on. No, I never got tired of them, but I'm sure they got tired of my insanity. You know, I start squealing like a little girl sometimes, and I start talking to animals as I'm photographing them, and I'm sure I look like an idiot, and I'm very surprised that Dan didn't record me doing that. I did get a short recording I got to send to you guys of Dan doing a little dance on the Sunset Cruise. Oh,

He's kind of doing a little dance as he's doing this thing. And it's actually pretty cool. I was seeing Dan kind of, you know, let the guard down. And I was kind of moved by that, really. I think I should send you guys that clip. Moved. Moved.

This picture behind him is him, but there's another picture of him looking at the cheetah like he's thinking it's gonna kill him. His wife is in heaven. She's just the greatest animal lover on the face of the planet. But there's another one that if you see Dan looking at the cheetah, he's like, "I'll kill you." He's got this fear of God in him. You saw the hymn of him feeding the ostrich. That was so hilarious because here you have this massive guy and these two ostrich coming over his shoulder. His face of panic is just the best.

Man, I'll tell you, he let all the guards down. It was a lot of fun. A lot of fun. Is it nice or is it boring? He's a little too wholesome with this, right? As he embezzles funds and spends riches all over Africa to help me and my wife to great romance under the stars. All of us stealing the listeners' money. He's a genuinely nice person. And even though we've given him countless opportunities to...

to undercut it. He's just super nice. That's who he is. How many assistants did Dan bring? Disappointing. He didn't bring any assistants, but I will tell you something. Dan gets cold very easily. He doesn't like the cold. Yeah.

You seen him in the morning, you would think we were in Antarctica. The guy was wrapped up in so many blankets with wool hat on his head. And I think at one point he said to me, this is the coldest I've ever been in my life. Look at his beautiful wife there. Look at that. Four or five rhinos, literally within a day. They're within days.

10 feet of us right there with nothing between us. Where do you see four or five of the most highly endangered species in the world? Look at his wife. She's in heaven because she's actually connecting with this out there. This is the wild, baby. This isn't a zoo. This isn't Lion Country Safari. This is the wild. And we had experiences there. We saw animals. God, the thing with the painted dogs, with the leopards, with the lions, lion cubs, lion...

The lion would walk literally within two feet. Look at that shot. Oh, you blew the best shot. That shot of the lilac breasted roller. We blew the shot. We blew the shot. There it is. Look at that shot. You know how hard it is to get that photograph, guys? You have any idea? Dan knew about it, too. Dan said to me, he goes, I think you got it. I think you got it. Because we were struggling to get that shot of that bird with its wings open. It was so incredible. Because, see, birds don't produce blue pigment.

All that blue is caused by refracted light on the structure of the feather. And you have to get the bird to show the feather the right way so the light hits it. And it's a split second, man. Dan, all the tests, those things fly around so fast. But we got it, Dan. We got that shot, brother.

No one is as enthused as you are by this. They're looking at you. They don't see the art in it at all. It's a Blue Jay. It's not a Blue Jay! Lloyd Mosby. Joe Carter. Oh, we can play that game for a while. Jesse Barfield. Vernon Wells. Dave Steve. Roy Halladay. We're just naming Blue Jays. Jack Morris. Oh, jeez.

Ron McGill has also got an enormous number of baseball cards he's unwilling to sell that are part of his value and his endowment because he's a corrupt human being with giant vacations all over the world. People are making fun of me because I'm alleging that we stayed in tents and I didn't approve that photograph or that video that reveals that there's a pool out back. And what kind of tent would that be with a pool? But the most interesting part of that is I think you would be right to be scared to

that there is an elephant there drinking from Ron McGill's pool. How cool is that? Where do you go in the world where you're sitting there and all of a sudden an elephant walks up out of your yard and goes and starts drinking water out of your pool, man? I'm literally standing 15, 20 feet from this thing videotaping and going, I can't believe this is happening. I was so beside myself. It was just remarkable.

This wasn't a joint pool. Everyone had their own pool. No, everybody had their own pool. And the baby elephant. This is ridiculous. Come on. We are spending the listeners' money all over America to take a giant vacation where you take pictures at a tent, at a four-seasons tent encampment, you and me just embezzling funds to... This is what our highlight team has been playing so hard for. To gallivant around the world. Joey Batts.

No, guys, no. These tents are incredible. But I have a wonderful partnership with the company, Great Expectations. That tented camp that we're talking about with the person, look at that elephant looking at you in the eye, Dan. Look at that. You remember that guy? Right up to the truck looking at us, trying to scare us, trying to make us think that we're going to be

afraid of them. Oh, no, please. Do you guys have this video here? This is the most amazing thing. Maybe Ron has seen more. This is like the strangest version of going over to your friend's house after they go on vacation and they force you to watch a three-hour slideshow from it. Yeah.

All right. Cool. I'm psyched. We went to Tacoma. You'd think after the 54th time, the novelty would wear off. I'm like, I'm good. It's not art, Ron. You're just taking pictures of birds all over the world. And this one's upside down. Craig put it in there upside down. This is stupid. Anyway, here's the next one. That's when I had my finger over the camera. You remember that, Hunter?

All right. Just 2,700 more. Drinking at the same time. Coming in there. We watched them. Followed them up. Oh, my God. Where do you see that, guys? On Google. Animal Kingdom.

No, you don't see that. I have no personal connection. I understand why you're thrilled because you actually took it. But for me, it might as well be a Google search. You weren't able to move anybody with your shit pictures, you embezzler. The pictures are too good. If it was like a blurry selfie, I would feel more connection to it. But these are too professionally done. You're almost too good.

I'm a professional, Mike. That's my job. I mean, if you put me behind a microphone of what you're doing, producing a show, I would totally screw it up. I'd be a moron. Look, look at the background right now behind Dan, what we have on the screen right now. That is a Windows 98 desktop. I have no connection to this. You're 100% right. It's a bold.

They could have been called through artificial intelligence. I don't want to see these nice photos. I want to see you putting a fork and knife over your meal for the evening, like forgetting Sarah Marshall. Where's the cocktail hour? I got those too, but I didn't think you guys want to see that. Those are connection points. Otherwise, I'm just seeing stock images. Yeah.

No, you're not seeing stock images. You're seeing freaking utopia. There we go. Look how happy Dan is. There we go. That's great. It's so cold right there. Put the fondue out and we can do like three more hours of this. Is that hair going into Dan's nose or out of Dan's nose? Oh, yeah. I had some tough times with the grooming in the rough in Africa. Oh, God.

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