Hour 2: Morning Radio Hell
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It is time for Stu Gatz to share his game notes. No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy Stu. Weekend Observations brought to you by Miller Lite. Great taste, just 96 calories available for delivery. Then WFAN came calling to fill in for Boomer Esiason. So he had to fly out to New York.

the Big Apple, to live out his dream of hosting New York sports radio. While there, he didn't watch a single second of sports that the audience wanted to talk about. Giants hard knocks? Nope. Subway series? Nope. Instead, he took a gummy and wandered around south of Houston Street. Soho. Dan.

But just like that, after four days out, four days off, the rare four days off where I was actually working, make no mistake about it, I am back. That's never been delivered that way. I... In the third person, it has never, ever, ever been delivered that way. I am back. Yeah, it was a bit wordy. You matched the appropriate fanfare the first time, quite honestly. It was a bit wordy, you're right. It was a bit controversial. You're right.

If you thought you were having a bad weekend, people are saying J.D. Vance had sex with a couch. More cushion for the pushing, Dano. That is true. Put it on the poll, please, Juju. Does J.D. Vance have more cushion for the pushing because he's having sex with couches? They call them love seats for a reason, Dan. Dan, you know what the couch said to J.D. Vance? Pull out. People are worried.

That the Trump ticket will turn America fascist. But J.D. Vance actually wants to turn America into the Ottoman Empire. Top five empires. Wow. Top five empires. Excellent. Ottoman Empire. That's pretty good. Number five. Empire State Building. Number four. The Galactic Empire. Number five.

Number three, the British Empire. Nah. Number two, the Roman Empire. And number one, the Yankees. Right? The evil empire. What happened? Now I get it. To the lady that called WFAN and said she would buy my book to use in her fireplace.

Hey, lady. All sales count the same. Thank you. Stugatzbook.com. I mean, who's going to throw a book into a fireplace? That lady. A book that hasn't been written yet. Listen, once you buy it, it's yours. You can do whatever you want with it. I don't care. Just buy the book. Yankee fans, do me a favor. Shut up. It's July. You're leading the wild card. You're a game back in the AL East. And your competition in the East is the Orioles. The Orioles are good, Stugatz. Taylor.

The Orioles are good. The O's. They just traded for Zach Eflin. The O's and the Yankees. What? He's starting today. Against the Blue Jays. Tricky matchup. Let me tell you, Yankee fans would not last a month being a Mets fan. They would not. The O's and the Yankees have been bad for about three weeks. And yet still, they're at the top of the standings. Right. Shut up. Taylor, feel bad for Marlon fans.

Their team exists to trade their best players to other teams who are actually contending. The M in Marlins stands for minor league team for the teams that are actually contending. Here's the problem. You can't get excited about the prospects they get back because once they become good, they'll be traded back to the Yankees. Oh, but I can get excited by them. I was on the MLB network on satellite radio listening to minors and majors on Sunday. Ha, ha, ha.

Were you really? In fact, I believe the Mets, I believe in trading, one of the trades the Mets made is they sent away a 6'9", 250-pound pitcher. I wonder how hard he throws. 6'9", 250. The Mets traded him? Yes. News to me. Yeah. That's part of why your FAN appearance was controversial. Jazz Chisholm. Cool name. Top five athletes that can own a music genre. O-L-I.

Zach Popp. Dwayne Johnson. Number five, The Rock, of course. Nick Folk. Number four, the Minnesota Twins outfield in the early 2000s, Soul Patrol. Number five,

Number three, Pat Rapp. Wait a minute. Who was Soul Patrol? Who was the outfield? Was Kirby Pungent part of Soul Patrol? Who was Soul Patrol? This is early 2000s. I feel like it's Tori Hunter. Okay, Tori Hunter was Soul Patrol? Yeah. Is this a Taylor Hicks reference? The guy that looked like Leno from American Idol? Look it up. Okay, we've got to look it up because he has not. Bryant Reeves, Big Country.

And Dan Ford. Disco Dan. That's terrible. That's terrible. Are you not writing any of these anymore? Now Taylor's just writing all of your weekend observations. The White Sox are 54 games under .500. Now? That's all I got.

What I'm doing with Taylor is Taylor lays down the foundation. I have to twist him and turn him a little bit to show him how to exactly write these things. And then I add my own. And, you know, we put together weekend observations. And then he fixes your spelling errors like foundation. Of course he does. Hold on a second. The Chicago White Sox, to give people slightly more information. 54 games under .500. They've lost 14 straight. They're on pace to win 40 this season. The worst is 43 ever.

Southside. The Detroit Tigers. They have as many blown saves as they do wins. Penicillin for my Mariners. Headline. Bo Nix is making his case to be QB1. Here's his case. He's not Zach Wilson or Jarrett Stidham. That is a good case. It's a good case. What a case. Yeah. He wins.

Synchronized diving. Boring. No. Synchronized diving. After taking a gummy. Mesmerizing. Incredible what they do. I mean. How much? You have not been healthy. You have been self-destructive for a while now. About three years. How much gummy are you having these days? Because the other day you threw out a 40 milligrams and I just. Mahala.

I mean, you do any flaxseed oil to offset it? No. Because sometimes I get like that choking sensation. Huh. It's supposed to alleviate that. Really? Yeah. I've just been doing less because of it.

And now I'm on AlphaBrain. Lion's mane. Oh, is it good? Are we going to see a situation where Stugatz has a Dion Waiters on an airplane because he doesn't know? Or is he just so strong in terms of immunity to high because he's been getting high for so long? I have to take 40 milligrams. Wow. Nothing else gets to you? That's really strong. Yeah. That's really strong. You're asking me if AlphaBrain works. Yeah. I respond by saying, I remembered a Taylor Hicks reference. Ha ha ha ha ha.

You need to stop shilling for this Joe Rogan snake oil. I'm wearing his jeans right now. I bought some of it. I was at the MMA hangout. My friend, I don't know what's exactly in these alpha brain pills, but I know one of them is red. How did the hangout go, Tony? Incredibly, Dan. We had everybody over at Casa Tiki. The fights were good. Could have been great, except for a couple different things. But...

No bonuses. Crap card. You know. Crap card. The whole thing was tough. It started at 3 o'clock in the morning in Great Britain. Things were a little, you know, upside down. Salute to Bilal Muhammad, though. New and new. You feel me? And new welterweight champion. Beat hometown kid Leon Rocky Edwards. Kind of a boring fight. Dan, you know what the S in synchronized diving stands for? I do not. It stands for sativa makes it a lot more entertaining.

That's the one that gives me like the choking Really? Yeah Flaxseed oil? I just read your next one This is crazy What do you mean? Well, whatever Taylor wrote next College football Has a two minute warning this year

I just learned that. You're not playing CFB 25 in shows. Put it on the poll, please. At Levitard Show. Juju, at Levitard Show. Did you know that college football has a two-minute warning this year? Things you think about wandering around the West Village on a gummy. Valhalla, 40 milligrams. Roger Marris isn't a Hall of Famer. How? Because he only had the one good year. Just assumed he was. Top five athletes. You'd be surprised.

That they aren't Hall of Famers. O-L-I. Kevin Johnson. KJ. Number five. Sean Kemp. The Rain Man. Everyone makes it into the Basketball Hall of Fame. How is Sean Kemp and Kevin Johnson not in Basketball's Hall of Fame? Explain it. Someone explain it. Cocaine addiction ruined some of Sean Kemp's better years. Parking lot shootouts. Rain Man. Number four. Chase Utley. I mean...

Chase Utley is one of the 10 best second basemen of all time. I don't like him, but he is. Great second baseman. Yes. Great hair. Amazing. Has he been retired for five years? Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah. He was playing when I was last paying attention, so it has to be. Number three, Roger Marris.

Number two, Carlos Beltran. And number one, this is a shocker, Torrey Holtz. The South Sudan team can hoop. DeMar DeRozan said he's still friends with Drake after being on stage with Kendrick Lamar. You know what DeMar is doing? He's playing both sides.

He's also lying. That might have been the worst Connery I've ever heard. The worst Sean Connery impersonation. I was supposed to ask Mike to do it. I'm sorry. I only knew because you said Scheidt. Scheidt. But it might have been like foundation. Scheidt. The 40 milligrams. Like you could have just slurred your way through it. La Jolla. Sal Licata said that the NL wildcard race was over. The Mets haven't won since. Callers are enraged. That's what New York sports radio is all about, Dano.

I wish I had that take. I was too busy taking gummies and trying to take everyone's job. Not happy about that. Which part? Taking everyone's jobs. Those jobs mean a lot to those great people at WFAN, and I should not be doing that at an open microphone. I mean, it's okay to think about it and never say it out loud. It's not okay to think about it and say it out loud. Yo, chicken thon! You couldn't mean it more! You couldn't be lying less! You're just getting

Remember, change. Chris Cody, what kind of chicken was that? You couldn't mean it less? You couldn't be lying more? Is that what that chicken meant? You meant what you said. You're lying a lot. Okay. Here. There's usually more than one and you can't really tell what we're saying and we're just like, you're a liar. That's what I do when you say a lot of things. You want your money, money? I do give a damn. I get it, chicken. Say it one more time.

Do you know Stuart Feiner of Barstool, one of their great court jesters, was offended by you court jesting on WFAN. We've really arrived, Stu Gatz, when our greatest fool can be so much bigger and better than Barstool's greatest fool and make Barstool's tout hold his rosary beads because he

so finds New York sports radio precious that you not knowing about Mets Yankees offends him. Fart is in the eye of the beholder. I'm team finer on this one.

And have been since I was like 12 watching paid programming. I love Finer. He's great. He's the best. You offended him. I don't care. He's an absolute lunatic, and I'm worried about him generally, but he's funny. I got to tell you, Dan, at this stage, I don't care. If Stu Finer likes me, great. If he doesn't like me, great. I don't care. I win. I want him to like me. Boxing match for charity? That's all right. I just want to box Stu Finer.

I just can't believe that you made Barstool's guy indignant about what you did to his morning radio. Mission accomplished. I mean, it's just stunning. It's stunning that you could outrage Barstool's guy. I was confusing everybody. I mean, I really was.

Listen, by the end of the week, I had everyone into an open microphone saying they wanted Evan Roberts' job. They came into it mad at me for saying it, and then they were saying it themselves. You just apologized for it. I feel bad about it. You don't sound like you do. You had everybody talking about it. You sound kind of happy about it. Talk us out. This is the Olympics. The best athletes in the world. The best we have to offer. Can we not do better than cardboard beds?

I can guarantee you who isn't sleeping in one of those cardboard beds? LeBron. You know what the L in LeBron stands for? It stands for luxury hotel.

What are we doing? These are athletes. They need sleep. They need a comfortable bed. Not one made out of cardboard. This has been a complaint I have heard since the original Dream Team. They were sleeping on a yacht. Barkley and Jordan were sleeping on a yacht. And the regular Olympians were sleeping on cots. By the way, don't even think about comparing this team to the Dream Team. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. And if you are thinking about it, don't you dare say it.

What are you crazy? Larry Bird had ice on his back. That team is the reason the rest of the world is so good now. Agreed. That team. Don't think about it. Greg Cody, thank you for the invite to your birthday party. Put me down as a maybe. Have to get back to you. I mean, it might be a lacrosse mitzvah. I have no idea. I'll let you know. It's a birthday party I want to go to, though. It is. What is it? 21st of September.

Get back to you. It's part of our 20-year celebration. It's right around some of the stuff we'll be doing to celebrate 20 years on the air. I'll get back to you. On whether you're going to do any of that with us? Yes. I'm excited for that. When are we doing this? Soon. It's coming up. It's like in six weeks or so. Does this make us like, can we get into the Hall of Fame now? Or how does this work? Did we know the amount of years? You might have ruined that last week with the WFAN stuff. Stu Feiner, really?

He decides? I don't know. I don't know. The odd person that decides. I was saying, the FAN people were mad because I was saying that you are a bigger personality than everyone there except for Boomer Esiason because you are a radio hall of famer. Those people are not. Yeah. Kobe Bryant's Staples Center Locker hits auction.

with $1.5 million estimate. The people selling that should be ashamed of themselves. Also, the Stugatz is stronger than them. It's weird. Simone Biles finished first at Olympic qualifiers despite a calf injury. Hockey player. Blue Jays are listing the trade offers for Isaiah Kiner Felica. Who is this person? IKF. That is Taylor, by the way. Me.

Responding to Taylor, who the f*** is Isaiah Connor Felifa? You said Felica the first time. That's not the way you say it. The Bear. A no-hitter in baseball has never meant less. It's disgusting. We used to lead SportsCenter with him. We used to break into programming with him. Now no one cares. And this was a complete game no-hitter. Those are the only kind there are.

Well, no, you have these combined no-hitters with the bullpen. No, but I'm saying one pitcher can only have a complete game no-hitter, right. The 6.30 a.m. tee time always sounds and feels better the day before when you're booking it at 2.30 in the afternoon.

And then you get there. Everyone agrees that the by-committee no-hitter is less valuable than one. That's not a no-hitter. It's not a no-hitter. Yeah. Doesn't count. Tua grabbing the microphone to publicly celebrate himself as the wealthiest person in the Dolphins organization. Tua.

The steward is strong in you. It was really strange. It really was. I'm just confused by it. Hide the money, y'all. Broke people are around. Look at this. Do Dolphin fans have to pay in order to hear him say that? Are they doing admission to come training? He gets paid. I mean...

Drew Holiday, quietly finished as the third leading scorer tonight for Team USA. Everything Drew Holiday does, he does so quietly. He does. I was chanting Drew S.A. at my computer when he had a steal. I'm not a morning person, Dan. I love WFAN. But man, morning radio is the sports radio of hell.

It's the equivalent of Al for Sports Radio. It is? It really is. I did not feel good after my third show. I didn't. Someone called me Papa.

Speaking of hell, or brials, Dan, those are the weekend observations. Your stamina is not what it used to be. I feel great. And morning radio, well, you just, no, no, I'm not saying here. I wasn't criticizing what you just did. I was saying that your inability to make it through, it wasn't even a full week of morning radio. It was four days. I have questions, by the way. You were supposed to be here and there on Monday of last week? No. No.

How were you not in either place on Monday of last week? They didn't need me on Monday. Jerry Retko was filling in. Top five update anchor of all time, Jerry Retko. He was filling in. By the way, I fired all update anchors at WFAM while I was there. I'm a jackass. Didn't you just say you were sorry for bringing that up again and again? Yeah, I am. I am sorry to do that.

But anyway, Dan, they didn't need me on Monday. I figured you were fine here on Monday. Monday was a travel day for me. I had to get up there so I could be fresh. I had to watch the Subway Series. You were needed here. Nobody understood why you weren't here. I understand we have a video from your time on...

Up at FAN, what do we need to know here? I understand that you spent Metal Ark resources. You had interns working at 530 in the morning. You were right across the street from Metal Ark, never went to Metal Ark. I was busy, yeah. I had a lot to do, and I regret not doing that. I do apologize to all the folks at the New York Metal Ark offices. I was going to go there Friday. I was told no one was there on Friday, and I was proud of everyone.

And so I decided not to go. I had to go out and see family and do all this stuff. The video you're about to see is me on my final day at WFAN. I thought the listeners would like to see a day at WFAN with me. And so Lucy, one of our interns, she joined me at 530 in the morning, met me out in front of the hotel. And together we spent a day at WFAN.

Yeah.

We're doing it. We're doing it with a smile on our face. But I know what's underneath that is what the hell am I doing with my life? So anyway, we're going to walk you to WFAN. It's on the lobby here at WFAN. These are hallowed grounds right here, okay? They're really not. But they are, okay? These are the same hallways that Mike Francesco walked through, that Christopher Gandolfo Russo walked through, that Joe Benningo walked through, that the great Sidney Arthur Rosenberg walked through. We are now going to walk to the elevator. Yes.

Lucy, you have a long walk to go. - Got it. - Dan, Dan, we've arrived at Radia. This is Radia. We are walking through a hallway at 5:40 in the morning. Oh, do I miss the feeling of walking into a radio station? This is Radia. Someone pounding at a door at 5:40 so we can make a 6:00 a.m. shift. Oh, Chris, I'm in Radia.

So when you're entering the biggest sports radio station in the history of sports radio,

You need to dress it up properly. The entrance needs to be dressed up properly. Look at this. Look at the shrine to New York sports. First off, Lizzie, come back here for a second. You see the beautiful logo of WFAN. This is how you have to have the entrance be, right? You have Mariano Rivera up there. You have Babe Ruth right there. Babe Ruth. Think about that. There's Willis Reed.

Okay, there's Yogi hugging Don Larson, I believe. There's the marathon being run over the bridge. Patrick Ewing, Dwight Gooden, Dr. K, Dr. J, two of my top five doctors of all time. This is amazing. I'm actually tearing up right now. I don't know why, it's weird. You're currently watching The Great Al Dukes.

This has been a very special week here with Stu Gatz. Yeah.

You have no idea. Just him being in the building has changed the entire energy of the whole company. It's a big company. There's several floors here. And everyone, every elevator you get in is like, oh, did you see Stu Gatz was here this week? I'm not kidding. Like, you have impacted WFAN, like, the sales people. Everybody's talking about you. No one's talking about me. He's lying. There's not a single person talking about me. Oh, this would have been my office. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I just walked into the program director's office while he was on a Zoom call and blurted out, ooh, this would have been my office. I'm never coming back here again. I'm never going to get invited back here again. So I'm here with my buddy, Mike Francesa, the Pope. Hi, Mike. Small feet. Oddly small feet.

Lucy is agreeing with me. Oddly small feet. This is the room at WFAN. And what do I mean by the room? I have no idea, but it feels like the room. All right. We are in the WFAN studios. This is radio. Radio. Dan, show them the studio.

You missed that? Radio. He looks like radio. This man is aged 10 years for every year that he has done morning shows. This is amazing. This is where Gio sits. This is where the great Boomer Esiason sits.

Who Dan said is the only one at this radio station that is bigger than I am. Debatable. Look at all this stuff. That is Patrick Mahomes with Boomer Esiason. He only has one picture with Patrick. I have a complete photo album with Patrick. But, you know, I'm part of the Mahomes family. He's not. This is what radio is all about. We have phone lines and we don't have windows.

A lot has changed over the years, audience. As you've been so kind in pointing out, my shirt size has changed over the years. Look, I started this show as a 19-year-old boy, and now I'm a 38-year-old dad. But

But along the way, one staple of my life has been Miller Lite. And those of you that have been listening to us know this. I've been a Miller Lite guy since day one. I've been pretty honest about that. So let's get down to the nitty gritty. What is the best thing about the original Light Beer Miller Lite? It sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. For me, it's the undebatable quality. It's great taste. And...

It's less filling. Whether you're out with your friends, at a game, at a bar, in the shower, Miller Lite delivers Miller time every time. You don't have to choose what's best about Miller Lite. It has great taste and is less filling. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.

The Dan Lebitard Show with Stu Gatz is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day. When your schedule is packed with kids, activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. When you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

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Visit betterhelp.com slash DLB today and get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash DLB. Don Levitard. They would try to bring in some minority characters and you could... That's what they did. Yeah, they tried. Louis Aguirre was one of them. Louis Aguirre. They tried to dabble in Latin flavor and they went and got... Maurice Chestnut was one. Morris. Morris Chestnut, I'm sorry. Uh...

God, what a beefcake in that show. Miranda, why didn't you stay with him? I mean, we're going to go with Steve on this one? Seriously? Spugats! Oh, no. Clear out. I have to issue her an apology. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Is it a Sex and the City apology? I would like to formally apologize to Blair Underwood for calling him Morris Chestnut. Oh, no. Ha!

Wow. Look. LA law, man. Come on, yo. This is the Don Levatar Show with the Stukats. Today's episode is sponsored by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you'll hear more about DraftKings and all it has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I want to be perfectly clear about this because I do think it's important. You guys do understand...

That Reese McGuire was actually masturbating in a parking lot and got caught by TMZ with police and everything else in 2020 masturbating in a parking lot. And so when Cal Quantrill yells at him, you jacked off in a bleeping parking lot, you dumb bleep. It's an argument ender.

Whatever the fight is before that, you've lost the fight on that fact that he knows that about you and can deliver it at the height of rage. The fact that it's true is what makes it the best trash-talking item I've heard in a single sentence. Just to be clear, it doesn't work as an insult as well unless he was actually caught on video in a way that reached the Rockies. It reverberated from that parking lot

To a mountainous region where a pitcher in Colorado can insult you with it. Amazing insult. Amazing that it's true. A little too real. Uncomfortably real. I don't know. It's a little icky. Feels icky. Icky is exactly the word. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Exactly right. It all depends on the parking lot. I ain't cheating!

Exactly the word. Icky is the correct word that you wanted to go with there. But as an argument ender. Oh, it's great. You jacked. If it's a Lowe's off hours. Off hours. If I'm on the way home. Yeah. It'd be better than while driving. We'd all agree. It's safer than while driving. Yes. Pulled over. Responsible. Way safer. Mm-hmm.

So speaking of safety, I have a Dana White clip that I want to play for the audience. You heard Tony and Mike talk about how sluggish

the UFC weekend was. This one is super interesting to me, Stu Gatz, because understandably, Dana White wants for his customer knockout. And understandably, the fighter's like, I'd really like to protect myself in a fight. It's hard to do this, and I don't want to, for your extra $50,000, get knocked out and embarrassed in front of people. So I understand why Dana White wants to entice me with his chief manipulation, which is

pay the fighters correctly as opposed to what he's doing every day when he bullies them because he's a menacing bully skinhead. But let's listen to Dana White here as he just says, yeah, I want entertaining fights and I'm never doing that again where I offer them more money and I get nothing but decisions. Every time you get on a press conference, the fighters manage to get you to up the bonuses. Do you think there's an argument that maybe you should just up them? I think tonight showed that we should not. No.

Upping them doesn't change anything. It doesn't make anybody fight any harder. It doesn't change anything. I'm not doing this again. Ever. Ever. Today was the last day that I'm doing that. Not saying that in the future the bonuses couldn't get up, but I'm not going to be at a press conference and say, 200, 300, and never again. Never again. So you can thank everybody on this card for that.

Yeah. Nobody fought any harder. There was no sense of urgency. Holy shit, I want the $100,000. It was 3 a.m. Seven straight. Who gives a fuck?

It's 7 o'clock in Vegas. So whatever. Yeah. Never again. Okay. Seven straight decisions. Yeah. The 100,000 was a real big. Let's get it, boys. That never again. Not the way fighting works. Just not the way it works. Until one of your stars says, hey, let's do 100 or $300,000 bonus. Like, okay, yeah, let's do that.

Right. The good example, too, was it was two guys that was about to fight before the match. They was about to fight before the match. And then they say, all right, fight. And it was like them dogs. The gate opened. It was like, you punch first. You punch first. One of those guys ended up actually not getting his contract renewed and now going to the PFL. Dana's like, hey, you guys have an undefeated guy. Good luck. He's not staying here anymore. That's what he said. He cut him right after the fight and just said, that fighting style's not for me. He can go be undefeated somewhere else. I will just. If only there was a matchmaker we could blame. Yeah.

Someone that was keenly aware of fighting styles. Who puts them together, Mike? Hunter Campbell? Because the fighting styles would kind of... You looked at this card on the surface, and if you follow the occasional UFC card, you knew that, okay, Leon Edwards is capable of being an exciting fighter, but he'll kind of...

meet his opponent where his opponent wants to meet him. And if in the event he loses like he did, that fight's not going to be very exciting. You have heavyweights. There was a soft knockout there, but the card didn't... No one who follows a sport card to card would say that's an exciting card. Those matches are capable of fireworks. That's not really the case. So you have a card with fights that are odd and

and you have it being at 3 a.m. local time, it makes for a less than exciting card, and he's just lashing out, blaming the fighters for it. You're the matchmaker, bud. The fight that you could draw a circle around and be like, all right, this is the fight, was the Tom Aspinall versus Curtis Blades, both guys known for knockouts, and we got what we wanted, a knockout in 25 seconds. It was soft. It could have been soft, but when you get punched in the face by a guy who's 260 pounds with a left hand, it's not that soft.

because you're going down and then getting it destroyed. Us calling that soft is funny. It just wasn't a highlight reel knockout. It wasn't a great knockout. It was a Kona stoppage. Tony, thank you for having me on the MMA Hangout. We had a great time there. Record-breaking day on the MMA Hangout, by the way. Thank you to Cuervo, the tequila that invented tequila.

tequila Tommy Aspinall said something very interesting afterwards he tried to start being a matchmaker because apparently anybody can do it and if you just blame the fighters for a bad fight like shit I can I can try my hand at that yeah did you see what he called for he called Jon Jones out but he had a unique take on

Harkening back to the days of yesteryear with the UFC. Yeah. Two fights, one night? Yeah, it was a, what he called for was a heavyweight tournament, right? Alex Breda, who's been the biggest savior for the UFC this year, who Jake Paul wants to fight. That would never happen for Jake Paul's sake. But,

He has been kind of transcendent in the sense that he's gotten to the UFC. He's fought already in two division weight classes, has won two titles. Now they're talking about him moving up from light heavyweight at 205 up to heavyweight, which again is from 205 and up. So it's a very broad weight class.

Tommy Aspinall at the end was like, we should have a heavyweight tournament where Jon Jones fights Stipe Miocic and then I fight Alex Breda and then the winner fights each other in a couple months. So it's kind of like a back-to-back, maybe two or three months separating these two fights. But there's no way that Dana's going to allow that. One. But two, they're talking about Alex. There's no way that he can move up to fight Jon Jones who walks around at 245, 250. Aspinall, the same thing. Stipe Miocic is the same thing. It's a big weight difference. Yeah.

I think this weekend, this past weekend in the UFC was like the football fans, real deal football fans who don't mind sitting through a 3-10 Thursday night football game. I didn't mind watching the game, the fight, excuse me, sorry, because Buddy, who I was complaining about being in a boring fight, he broke his toe first round. And Patty Pimbley came out and showed King Green, don't dive at me, I'm a...

So it was good to watch if you were an actual UFC fan. It just wasn't a fireworks that's going to bring a casual in. Yeah, I wasn't aware that the card was really boring until Dana made it so. Like, Dana was a guy that crapped on the card harder than anybody, and I was in YouTube comments. Those people live to crap on shit.

Well, he's talking about the money involved. There's two different derivatives of human race. No, he's talking about the excitement. No, Stugatz, just so you understand, he's talking about knockout bonuses, okay, trying to make the fights more interesting so that they do not go to decision. What I would just say to you, all of you who are so comfortable saying 260 soft knockout is I want you all to imagine that you are in a fight, all of you.

Your chief priority is what? Inflicting damage or making sure you don't fall under any? Now make it people who have to fight for a living, invest their entire lives in the idea of, I have to win this battle.

to get to future contracts and I have to be careful because this guy wants that bonus money too. Anybody in that situation is going to be hyper careful and then the next step on this is what Mike is saying. It's a matchmaker's job to make those fights interesting because you throw two people in there who are going to fight that way. But the instinct to me in fighting, if you're Floyd Mayweather, is how do I

How do I defend myself more than what kind of damage can I inflict? How is it that I make sure that I don't have my embarrassment reveal itself in five seconds because it's really hard to do this in front of people when you're fighting a similarly skilled fighter who's just as hungry as you are? You have those fighters that are more defensive based and you know how to shape fights around them. If they make it to the very top and you have a guy that's

earned a title shot. You can only do so much and you just hope the greatness steeps through. I was into the fights because I like the chess match aspect of it. And the defense, especially when you're talking about takedowns, that stuff is interesting to me. Nobody was harder on this card than the guy that was making it complaining that it wasn't entertaining when it didn't really come across as a surprise that the card played out the way that it did. Mike, the way that I grew to like this sport is because I like the mixed play.

martial arts competing against each other to see which of these arts, the expertise in the singular arts, was the one that would win when you have all of the fighting styles in an octagon. It's what...

The science of it is what I enjoy. But of course, all he wants is the barbaric entertainment and the knockout highlights and thinks he can get it by offering more money. But offering more money is not an incentive in those spots. It's not. He'd argue it quite literally is. But look, the Patty thing worked out for them. They'd been serving him

soft opponent after soft opponent trying to make him a superstar and everybody was saying this is the time that the glass slipper does not fit we see through you we know what this is and he receives the biggest bonus of the night because he had the most exciting fight of the night and proved he's legit

Do you understand what I'm saying? That when you're in a fight, money's not the incentive. It's not the chief incentive. Yeah, but I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying. You say it's about damage mitigation. Floyd Mayweather. No, Floyd Mayweather got into a fight to win a fight. And it's all about what's my skill set? How am I best suited to win this fight? But that's what everyone is doing. No, not necessarily. No, how do I win the fight? Yeah, but it is doing like, how do I win this fight? And it's by throwing.

I get what you're saying. Bro, put me in the ring against a Terminator and say, whoever wins with a knockout get $100,000. I'll give a damn about that $100,000. It's Terminator on my ass. Yeah, leg kicks. Right, right. Although checking a Terminator would be tough. The tough part is that, Dan, you're talking about all the mixed martial arts and how they...

are better than one another, and that's what we're trying to see, right? What we've proven with the scoring, too, and close scoring is if you get somebody on the ground with wrestling and you can keep them down for five minutes, you're going to win. That's the ultimate cheat code is if I wrestle better than you, I'm going to win. So it doesn't matter what mixed martial arts you know, I can do that. It's boring. Exactly.

A lot has changed over the years, audience. As you've been so kind in pointing out, my shirt size has changed over the years. Look, I started this show as a 19-year-old boy, and now I'm a 38-year-old dad. But along the way, one staple of my life has been Miller Lite, and those of you that have been listening to us know this. I've been a Miller Lite guy since day one. I have been pretty honest about that. So let's get down to the nitty-gritty. What is the best thing about the original Lightbeer Miller Lite?

It sparked this debate way back in 1975, and we still haven't settled it. For me, it's the undebatable quality.

It's great taste and it's less filling. Whether you're out with your friends, at a game, at a bar, in the shower, Miller Lite delivers Miller time every time. You don't have to choose what's best about Miller Lite. It has great taste and is less filling. Tastes like Miller time. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit MillerLite.com slash Dan, or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cows and carbs than premium regular beer.

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