Local Hour: All About The Bing, All About The Bong
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I would like assistance from the group here today. And Zaslow, thank you so much. We broke glass in case of emergency. Zaslow's been on a heater here for months and he can't show up for work enough in enough places to get money because he wasn't even supposed to be here today. Love money.

Well, that seat is usually occupied by somebody who also loves money. And there has been some turbulence in the air that people are asking about. Where's Stugatz? Where's Stugatz? I was just talking with Zaslow and Cody about how lovely it is to watch them build businesses. That Zaslow's got his show and it's a business. Cody's got his show and it's a business. And Stugatz has his shows and they're a business. And so

We haven't reported this because people have been yelling and screaming in public, wondering about Stugatz and Stugatz has been missing a lot. But Stugatz wants to follow his daughter around late in life. And Stugatz is signed here to a contract that allows him to live the rest of his life the way that he deserves to, that he's earned because this thing has been built so that we can all get to freedom.

But his freedom makes it so that we need him after the single biggest thing the Knicks have done in 25 years and he simply can't physically get here because over the last four years it's been hard to physically get him here. So I ask you, Mike, what am I to do today as the Knicks have not felt this good in 25 years?

That viewing experience of New York-Boston is going to resonate across the country as a big series because, holy shit, New York's an underdog. What are you talking about? New York, the Knicks, have been a laughingstock for 25 years, and they've got the champs on the brink with the smallest conqueror that there is in the sport. That dude...

Jalen Brunson has become a superstar and I tried to tell this story last week and never got to the ending. When game one happened, I didn't know who to root for. At the end of the game, I found myself rooting for Boston because I've hated the Knicks for a long time. And I'm like, wow, I did not know that was there. That's surprising. And then game two started and I'm like, I'm falling in love with Brunson. How is this happening? How am I falling in love with a Knick? And from right then on,

the next three games, I find myself, I want Boston to cry. What I want the most is for Boston to cry. Boy, did you turn that around. Let the hate flow through you.

And I guess you were alluding to the fact that, I mean, Stugatz is purportedly a Knicks fan. You've got the biggest Knicks fan on the planet right here with you, pal. Like, bing bong, I'm so in on this. I'm straight up rooting for the Knicks. Let's go, Knicks! I've been rooting for the Knicks from day one of this series. Go, New York, go, New York, go! I've got to tell you, I don't even recognize myself because...

It's the greatest compliment that I can give in the sport that does such a good job with the stories.

Holy shit, Jalen Brunson, I'm late to this party. You have beaten the respect out of me, even though I'd want your fan base to suffer. Like, I cannot give a player a greater compliment than that when I want New York fans to hurt. And I'm like, oh, man, they got the beloved one and no one saw him coming. So now New York gets to identify. This is amazing. As loud as these people have been for 25 years without winning anything. New York gets to identify as the underdog.

You've got to be shitting me. Loved underdog Knicks. Oh, how great are these crowd shots? You see Starbury over there getting the close-ups. Spreewell. Why is there no other team that has that where the former players sit courtside and not just sit there and watch the game? They're on the

floor cheering and jumping around. No other team in sports has that. It's like seeing the University of Miami players come back and be on the sidelines like the college players. Only because they're beating the Boston Celtics. I wish those Miami Hurricanes could line up against the Boston Celtics. Marbury loves the Knicks so much. Last night was one of the greatest nights of my life. WFAT! This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast. Music

I don't recognize what's happening around here. Billy, Tony, Chris, I'm going to need some help because we are full-on bandwagon Knicks fans. I can't believe that this has happened. Do you understand what I'm saying, Cody, when I say I've never had a viewing experience that made me feel that particular thing over four games where –

Who am I rooting for? I don't know who I'm rooting for. Let me see some game play out. Oh, is that what's rising up in me? I'd like Boston to win at the end. I'd like Tatum to get his moment. Brunson's had a lot of moments. He can wait a couple of years. Tatum is a champion now.

And I'd like to see him prove it. That's where I was game one. And then it all changed because the smallest guy is beating a guy that's now injured. And Boston is suffering today because the most overwhelming champion in the league, a team that made it look easy last year, is in big trouble because their best player is hurt. They are unlikely to be able to overcome this particular deficit. And Knicks fans are in position.

In the garden, possibly. For the first time since 1999,

to witness a closeout game and it'll be on Boston as a giant underdog. I think the big question there with what you just said, that they have a chance to close out a team, the Mecca, for the first time since 1999. Are there still enough balloons and confetti in the Raptors since they seemingly used them all in that one win they had against the Miami Heat? Are there enough balloons and

And confetti left over. Let's talk about Nick's history for a second because beloved Jalen Brunson is a national phenomenon now. You cannot see how the game has changed, see Jokic exhausted. Talk about Shea Gilgis-Alexander and Anthony Edwards without now saying what New York's been saying for a minute.

hey, why isn't Jalen Brunson in this conversation? Is it because it's like college football? We decide who the MVPs are before the season and the preseason rankings. And then when someone shows us something and slays a giant, we won't allow Jalen Brunson to climb into the conversation of, well, is this a franchise changer like Giannis? If what you're getting is fourth quarter, you know your guy, you trust him and you can ride that for five years. You've got the guy that in the fourth quarter. I don't know that Boston has that.

The guy that in the fourth quarter you know as a fan base. He's our guy. We trust him even if he misses. Yes, let him take all the shots. The reason I recognize it is because Dwayne Wade was that once upon a time. There's some good irony last night, right? Where before the game they're showing the Mavericks room celebrating and getting the number one overall pick. And it's like...

Oh yeah, they could have had Brunson for $55 million. Not $55 million a year, mind you. $55 million for the duration of the contract extension. Mavs had a good draft that year. They had a Slovenian guy who was pretty good, Luka Doncic, and then Brunson.

So I'm going to be forced in this day and age. You guys tell me if I have this incorrect, because in 2025, it feels like the transaction and the numbers have dwarfed everything. And so I believe it's possible that if I put these stories next to each other and ask the audience, which is the bigger item today that you would like to discuss? Holy shit, the Mavericks. That's funny. Yeah.

The transaction or holy shit, New York and Boston top of the food chain. Can the Knicks win a championship? Because if teams start getting inexperienced and injured on both sides, all you've got to do is be one of the last four standing and you can get what is a lucky break on Tatum.

That was awful to watch, and I think most people want to see champions be champions and be able to defend their throne. I believe while Knicks fans might selfishly be happy that with the dehumanization of I'd like to see a great athlete writhing because his Achilles hurts, my sports fandom is so not human that I want to look at Jason Tatum and be happy that my team's going to advance because it has a better chance. I think most sports fans were like, ah.

That stinks. Nobody wants to see it happen that way. Well, to watch Jason Tatum in a wheelchair sobbing with his head in his hands was heartbreaking. I don't care if you're a Knicks fan. It was heartbreaking. Doesn't the wheelchair mean he's going to come back in the game? That's usually the precedent for Boston. Yeah, okay. That's fair. That's fair. But I am the exception to your unified bandwagon theory. Okay, the best story in sports is going to be Boston winning three in a row without Jason Tatum.

If that happens, that's the best story in sports. I continue to be a closet Celtics fan because they were my first team. Sam Jones, Havlicek, Bill Russell. Back in my day. Hold on a minute. Get this music. Hold on a second. Chris Cody, let's get let's get let's see the stage to original Celtics fan Greg Cody so he could talk about the halcyon days of Carl Yastrzemski. Yeah.

Well, you laugh, but let's get the music here. Go ahead. Tell us all about how once upon a time, traitorous Greg Cody loved the Boston Celtics because he has no taste. Okay, Bill Russell, the greatest champion in the history of sports and later a champion off the court.

Sam Jones with those bank shots off the glass from the corner. What a player he was. Underrated. John Havlicek, Hondo. They just had a wonderful team back then. This was decades before the Miami Heat. It made me fall in love with basketball. So yeah, to this day,

I go back in my day as an original Celtics fan, and I still root for the Celtics. Unlike yourself, Dan, I don't change my allegiance just because somebody had a big game. And by the way, Jason Tatum last night, I believe, had 42 points or something. So he's capable of leading that team to a championship. But will he get the chance? Of course not. Will the Celtics win without him? I wouldn't write them off. Greg, quick question. So on the Sam Jones, he's got the bank shot from the corner.

How did that, mathematically, how did that work? What you were describing there makes no sense. I was totally thinking the same thing. Let me explain something to you because this... Corner-ish. Look, man, Greg Cody loves nothing better than to tell a yarn from a time no one remembers so you can't change any of the details because he didn't actually see Wilt Chamberlain's first game. He just remembers that way. I remembered seeing it. So Sam Jones, you might not remember him, Tony, because it was 40 years before your time, but yes,

He would frisbee the basketball several loops around the backboard, and then it would go in. That's how Greg Cody remembers it. Nobody's old enough to question him about it. Okay, when I say a bank shot from the corner, I mean the corner-ish. Okay, like he was not obviously... It's like the wing. Yeah, the wing. But the point is he would take intentional bank shots. That was his...

It's like when the guy shoots from the corner and it winds up grazed in the backboard. He goes, that's bullshit. He didn't mean to do that. But he did it every time. Wow. Yeah. Sam Jones, though, was a bank shot artist. Believe me. And so the Celtics are going to roar back without Tatum, win three in a row. This is a little strange to hear, is it not? Because I don't think anybody thinks that. Boston fans don't think that right now, right? Boston fans do not think.

that they are going to rally in this series. Okay, somebody has to save the NBA and NBA fans from a Timberwolves-Pacers final. Somebody has to save the league. And that guy's Peyton Pritchard. And the TV network. What a player. Sixth man of the year. Now, fifth man of the year.

There's only one Sam Jones that matters. And that's Kim Cattrall's character from Sex and the City because it's all about New York right now. It is all about Nixon 5 right now. It's all about the Bing and it's all about the Bong.

Please, Billy, let's rise up on behalf of New York. I can't believe I'm saying it. Me? Rise up on behalf of New York? You guys are kind of embarrassing yourselves, if I'm going to be honest with you. You guys are big Heat fans. Oh, the Heat, the Knicks, which, by the way, I don't think Knicks... Only one Heat fan here, by the way. Knicks fans never think about the Heat, ever. Just...

for the record. Like they do not think that it's a rivalry the way that you guys think that the Knicks thing is a rivalry. And now all of a sudden you're here and you're number one Knicks fans. I don't understand you guys. So here's how I can explain it. I once went to the Darts World Championship in the UK. I walked in that building and you know what I said immediately? Guess I love darts now.

Guess darts are my thing because this is so fun. So, I was watching last night. Guess I'm a Knicks guy now because that was so fun. That was a moment that only the Mecca could deliver. I'm totally rooting for the Knicks also, but...

When the Knicks advance, because I mean, Cody, three in a row without Tatum. What are you talking about? Yeah, it'll happen. When the Knicks advance. I'm not rooting for the Knicks anymore. Like next round, it's over for me. Same. Maybe some residual effect in the Eastern Conference final, because I also hate the Indiana Pacers too. But you don't want the Knicks to win the championship. No, no, no, no, no. I want to, I want to, I want to basically want to. No, I want to, I want to thread this needle.

You know, I want to destroy Boston and enjoy the New York, all the fun elements of it. That's what I'm talking about. You got Chalamet. He's all excited. Yeah, he's great. You got Ben Stiller. He's excited. Tracy Morgan's puking on the court. He's excited. Anyone else worried about just the city of New York? Because if you look at these celebration videos...

From just this round, what are they going to do? They're flooding the streets. This is such an amazing thing, honestly, to witness because when Zaslow says the players are courtside,

They have to eject Charles Oakley and the fan base rallies to the side of Charles Oakley because they're like, what's wrong with you, owner of the New York Knicks, James Dolan, you don't deserve any of this. Oakley's what Knicks basketball is according to my dad and my grandfather. And what Knicks basketball is in New York, even though it's a loser, according to my dad and my grandfather, is the greatest feeling this city has ever known. Not in football. It used to be baseball.

The Knicks, when they grab this city, the Knicks exist at the center physically of the city. They call Mecca the garden because there's nothing like it. What New York is about to become, and this part is the fun of it for Miami, because I can respect Jalen Brunson.

I can enjoy that Jalen Brunson brings me the joy of hating the Celtics and enjoying their fans' tears. But in one of the next two rounds, I'm going to see all this loud shut up by another team that's better than this Knicks team. Knicks don't think about the Heat. What a ridiculous statement that was. They don't think about the Heat. Get out of here. Rent free. Established. 1988.

What are you talking about? They don't think about the Heat. They lose to the Heat constantly. The Heat have won three titles since they were granted a championship team. The Knicks have one title that they don't shut up about. Of course they think about the Heat. Every free agent they think they're going to get the Miami Heat get. I mean, they're having their moment right now. Okay, yeah, they're thinking about Boston right now. They don't think about the Heat anymore.

I have eyes. I have ears. I watch those games. It still means something. Well, you're a Knicks fan. I know, and I think about the Heat nonstop. Bing bong. You all are a bunch of non-Knicks fans. What a bunch of fraudulent Knicks fans you guys are. That's what I'm saying. You guys want to be Knicks fans, but you just want to be Knicks fans for one more win. That's exactly right. Thank you. You showed me, Billy.

Yes, yes. I'm not trying to show you. I'm trying to understand you guys, and I simply don't. It's about hating the Boston Celtics. That's what it's about. We hate Boston. This is fun. This is a fun team to beat Boston. I mean, I think it's simple as pie. I actually went to bed last night knowing that the Celtics were down 3-1. I went to bed with a smile on my face. Literally, I was like this. So happy. I was so happy. I've always slept like that. But you're not a Heat fan. We've gone over this for two weeks now. You're a Panthers fan now.

I slept so well. When's the last time? Hold on. Get in that position again. And when is the last time? That's every Panthers night, right? Oh, you better believe it.

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Not the joke no more.

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugats. Billy, you're not wrong. It is wrong. It's immoral of this show that has hated New York for more than 25 years because New Yorkers have infected this town. I feel like we're acknowledging what you point out as a hypocrisy, and I would just alert you to the fact that we hate Boston more. So much more. We hate Boston more. But this, I didn't realize. Insistently. Insistently.

See, I'm sorry, but what dawned on me, right? I'm old-timey, alleged, pretending to be objective journalist like Greg Cody here, a dinosaur in the modern age. And what I don't very often feel, this does not stir inside me very often, I haven't felt a form of this feeling since 2010 through 2014. Oh, I'm here for just the hatred.

I'm here just to see everyone broken by OKC holding up the title and we can all walk away and like, look, we were losers this year in Miami, but, you know, we almost got Cooper Flagg. I mean, the only real Heat fan here, you're looking at him right now. You're listening to him right now. I told you.

I told you guys there's only so many times I could have prophesied this. Wait a minute. This is a victory lap two years in the making. Tony, go to the victory lap room. You deserve a long, strong soliloquy here. Tony's been telling us for a while, tank for Wemby.

tank for Cooper flag. And right here, the percentage of balls broke. I still believe you guys think I'm wrong on this, that a bigger story last night than Nick's put it on the pole. Juju at levitard show, bigger story last night, uh, Nick's go up three, one or, uh, Dallas gets the pick. And then you get the Nico story because I think the transaction has topped the action. Now people,

want to talk about the shit. It's not about the games. It's about the shit. To be fair, though, I think the biggest story from last night is Jason Tatum might never be the same. He might be out for a full season. I mean, this series is one thing. The biggest story in the sport was one of the game's biggest stars has an apparent Achilles injury. Well, it's both.

because I don't think I'm being hyperbolic when I say because of those two things, Tatum's injury and what it means for the future, not just this series, what it means for the future of the Celtics and the fallout of Dallas getting the number one overall pick,

I don't think I'm being hyperbolic when I say I think the landscape of the league changed last night. Seismic. It was a moment. It was a moment in time where you can absolutely circle back, and I cannot wait to do the investigation on all the veins that sprouted out from this performance. Because, yes, that was a monumental game for the history of the NBA. I think the landscape of the entire league changed last night. Can we talk about this, please, if you guys are actually fascinated as I think you are about the transaction? Because...

Celtics were already talking about changes because just the cutthroat competitiveness of this league where now all the teams need to be better at threes than all the other teams like that. How do you build the machine faster? And what's being built in OKC, Brad Stevens is smart enough and Danny Ainge before him, draft pick hounds where you can get the most valuable thing in sports right now. Fixed costs.

Numbers are dominating the game. The hedge funds have come for this sport and they have ruined some parts of sports with all of their numbers and the second baseman's holding a card and a line drive over second base isn't a single anymore. It's just an out because everyone knows how to play everyone else and the game becomes less fun. We are at the middle and Zaslow's got this exactly right. Exactly right.

In all these conversations, how do we fix basketball, face of the league, is it going to be Anthony Edwards? Jason Tatum was applying for the job. Jason Tatum needed to win more championships, make more moments, and he could be face of the league because Magic and Bird and Michael Jordan and David Stern all made it so that basketball would be about the stars and the stories. Steph's about to be gone. LeBron's about to be gone. The league needs to be taken over. Jason Tatum is a perfect candidate for

for face of the league but this injury is a crusher and on this night losing was a very small part of why this hurts for Boston because they were about to change that team anyway because Drew Holiday's older it was it was three playoffs ago that Drew Holiday was saying out loud I can't guard Jimmy Butler I want to retire and Boston goes and gets him gets Porzingis and they build the faster car

But it's not faster anymore because the engine just blew. And by the way, Tatum is likely out at least half of next season. But that's why the engine just blew. And that injury is hard to come back from. And Kevin Durant hasn't quite been the same since he chased a championship this way. Because the Achilles affects you on defense. Like when you're saying that what happened last night.

When Jason Tatum is crying, I don't know if anyone heard a gunshot, but everyone that I heard from immediately that knows about these things says, yes, that's an Achilles. That's not just a non-contact injury. That's a brutal injury. And people around, if it is indeed an Achilles, would have heard a sound that doesn't sound

Human and it seems like Jason Tate. It's that noticeable the sound of it? It can be on it on just an Achilles if people were there near it they would have heard the sound it pops and And it feels like a gunshot and the fire that burns through you and I'm just obviously it hasn't happened to me It's something that you know immediately. Oh, I'm out for nine months it and this is it well I shouldn't even say you know that immediately first you're in terrible pain and

And then you know immediately, I know what that is. I'm not playing anymore this season. I'm finished and I'm crying in a wheelchair because in some ways, I'm guessing, Mike, he realizes what you're saying. Oh, I'm fighting with five guys for this era of basketball and I just felt behind by nine months. And he was having the game.

He was going shot for shot with Jalen Brunson in the NBA playoffs at Madison Square Garden. He was shushing the haters. He was stepping up to the moment. And it was moments like that that would actually put him in that tier. To be fair, though, in that moment, they were not winning that game. They were not winning the game. They were not going to win that game. No, they were not winning that game. And I guess this will allow Boston fans to kind of, if they lose this series...

It'll soften the blow a little bit because they'll rationalize that maybe the Knicks aren't better. Oh, I don't think it softens the blow at all because their team is never going to be the same. It's never going to be the same and it's never going to be as good. And you kind of get a little glimpse into your luck last year. Oh, I don't think it's that Tatum's not going to be the same. I don't think it's that Tatum would never be the same either. No, it's everything around him. I think... No, Greg, you can... Oh, your point about defense is a good one. You can come back from this, but it...

When he's in that wheelchair crying, trust me when I tell you, these men have great pressure on them because their bodies are economies. This injury is one that's feared throughout the sport, and it's the one that Kevin Durant risked in chasing Golden State's championships and has never been the same. I mean, you can come back from that, certainly at Tatum's age. He's young enough.

But what Greg says there that he won't ever be the same, that is not entirely true. I think it might be, though. It can be. I guarantee you when Tatum went down, he knew instantly what the injury was. And I would bet big that the thought goes through his mind, this could really wreck me. If it's an Achilles, right? They have not actually reported that yet, right? Some people are saying broken leg. Broken leg? Like what? Fractured fibula? I mean, it...

It looks like an Achilles. Everyone on the internet seems pretty strong about this. Have you checked Twitter? Everyone's a doctor. Yeah, everyone's a doctor right there. I mean, it would be a weird broken leg situation, but...

Yeah, it's a really tough scene for Boston, and that's their star player. There are few losses that feel as devastating as that. You probably lost a series. You lost your superstar. You knew that headed into the offseason you were going to reshape what was a championship team, and now you have all sorts of doubt because I guarantee you the plans were to build this team around Jason Tatum, and now you have a flaw in your plan. Why didn't Missoula just yell for him to get up? Yeah.

And the other thing, Greg Cody, that you're saying when you say that Boston might rally, the other thing that all of Boston realized while he was crying in that wheelchair, oh, we will not win the championship this year. That ends right here in this wheelchair. Might as well put our season in it and roll it out because the teams are too good that are remaining. Even if Mobley's out, you can't. Losing this guy, the third best player in the league who makes 40 look easy...

who is a player not quite Steph Curry, but there haven't been a lot that size in the Durant class of can make 40 look easy and be the third best player in the league. You lose that for the season, your season is over. And if not now, soon.

Everything goes out the window. Celtics fans are coping with the fact that, okay, we're not dynastic. We're tearing this thing down again. That's the worst part. They were supposed to be this unstoppable team again this year, even though they're the two seed. It was going to be back-to-back champions. And now, if we're being honest...

Are the Celtics winning again anytime soon? Now they might be looking at outlier dead in the face. And, you know, they fear that too because now you'll look at their championship money. Like, look at everything that broke right for you on your way to that championship. You're getting a little taste of the other teams. Like, your best player goes down. You went through three rounds of that. And as a huge Knicks fan, you love it. Okay.

Okay, so can I want to I want to have an honest conversation with you guys because I'm being told here in my headset by informed sources that they have audio of me not only not being objective, but being a legitimate asshole in something I said that only the audio team has found that is meant to embarrass me.

Because before this series started, I made clear that we were sort of watching it just to dislike everybody. And I can't believe Mike's saying that he's enjoying watching Ben Stiller enjoy himself. At no point in human history have Miami fans rooted for New York celebrities who are courtside, who think they understand that magical Knicks thing better than anyone does. Well, they've never had Boston on the ropes like this in my entire life.

in the postseason where Boston means this much to me. So if I'm acting in a way that you've never seen me before, it's because I've never been faced with this precise situation. - The Knicks have not hurt me and also have not hurt you in over half a year.

Half of my life. Not since I was a child. The Knicks have not hurt me in over half of my life. I hurt them. Well, that's why people hate the Knicks. They haven't won anything since 1973. Spike Lee was 15 years old. And a half a century later, there's an entitlement to a Knicks fan's attitude. There's no magic. Say it with your chest. I don't see an entitlement. I see excitement.

They're just happy they're finally relevant. They're always excited. They think they're going to win every year. They think they're better than everybody else every year. That's so great. Guys, listen. I may inevitably fall. Listen, this goes back a ways. I thought you were a Knicks fan. I am for this series. So you should be the one that he's talking about. Billy, why are

such a hard time understanding what's happening here. You're supposed to be Knicks fans. You're supposed to take offense to this insulting thing he's saying about you for this series. I'm rooting for them. We're rooting for the Knicks. When it's the World Series, okay, and two teams are playing whoever it is, there's one team maybe that you're rooting over the other because you'd rather them win. You're not all of a sudden a Dodger fan just because you wanted them to beat the Yankees last year. Their culture is my costume right now, and the costume fits.

I love it. This is so much fun. Boston is miserable. And there is a team that is... Look, it could be anybody. It could be the Toronto Raptors. I would start talking with a Canadian accent. I would love what's happening to Boston. This isn't so much about New York, even though, man, it is a fun bandwagon when things cook up. That's a fun...

fun home court advantage. The crowd, they're right on the court. Larry Johnson's jumping around. All of a sudden, I don't care that he was punching Alonzo Mourning. It is a fun culture to pretend you are a part of. No doubt. It is. But it could be anybody. It is. Seriously. It could be anybody doing this to Boston. It's rooting for not Celtics. That's right. That's right. The Heat are long gone. Like,

All there is right now is rooting against Boston, and the Knicks are making me happy. The Celtics winning back-to-back... Greg, let me ask you something. The Celtics winning back-to-back championships...

You think I need that shit in my life? No. No, I don't. All right. No, I don't. One of the reasons I love being a sports fan is that I can't lose here. As a neutral sports fan, I can't lose here. If the Knicks win this series, and it looks like they might be relevant, nationally, national championship relevant for the first time in 50 years, wonderful story. If the Knicks lose yet again...

Also a wonderful story. I can't lose. I'm a neutral sports fan. I'm waiting for a good story, and there's a great story here whether the Knicks win or lose. I can't lose. What's the number on the Celtics' rest of the series? Greg may want to get in on that.

That would be a great story, though. You've got to admit, if they win three in a row without Tatum... No, it's a terrible story. No. Oh, my God, what a great story. No, I'm not in on that story. As a Jason Tatum hater, I can also see a silver lining there a little bit. But no, we want the Celtics to lose. And by the way, I did not enter the...

this series thinking that I'd have my algo all switch to pro Knicks propaganda. Oh, it's a little bit of Rock Hogan, WrestleMania 18. Yeah, yeah. The crowd turned. I didn't know what I was expecting when I went into this. And the Knicks got me. They got their hooks into me. And I love them. All right, let's go to Tony now. He's ready with a victory lap.

Tony, you're feeling very victorious right now. Yeah, I mean, Chris, you only have access to this kind of genius and this kind of just brilliance and oracle once in a lifetime. And I gave it to you guys twice in a lifetime. And I brought Dan in here with me because he knows...

Two years ago, Dan, when the Heat made that magical run to the playoffs and to the finals. Tony deserves a raise for getting this so right. Look, Tony was a lonely voice in a sea of assholes. You're in charge of that. You are in charge of that, Dan, by the way. We'll talk about that after. I am in charge of that, but Billy, you're the reason that he hasn't gotten a raise. You've undercut him and gotten in the way of his career. Huh.

I knew that. Finally, we have that on wax. Thank you, Dan. So, you only have access to this kind of prophecy, this kind of oracle once in a lifetime. I gave it to you twice. One of the great predictions in the history of Metal Ark Media right up there with Amin saying that Geno Smith was going to have exactly the stats that he had. That was wild. No one's gotten in more right in four years than Tony. So, Wemby. Heat could have had Wemby. We knew what happened there. I gave you guys another chance. I said this time, Cooper flagged tank for him. The Heat had lost, what, 11 in a row? Go! Go!

- Ankle, we need a wheelchair. Somebody bring a wheelchair here. I'm gonna keep running. Hold on, somebody come back for Dan. I'm gonna keep running. So you only have access to this kind of genius once a year. And I'm gonna give it to you again. I told you, tank for Cooper Flagg. You had the 11 losses or 12 losses. You just weaseled your way into the play-in game. You could have won the play-in game and been happy and then got to the 11th seed. And we would have, or excuse me, to the 11th pick of the draft. And we see what happens there, okay?

Now you win, you go to the first round of the playoffs with the Cavs, they destroy you, they dismantle you like a G League team, and then all of a sudden, on my couch as I'm sitting there, watching the lottery just like this, okay? Being like, okay, let's see what happens. Because usually, the pick is just in. Alright, here, the Mavericks have the 11th pick.

And then they keep dropping. Oh, they're in the top four. Oh, that's what the heat would have been, Barry Jackson says? Ira Winderman says the heat would have had that pick? Oh, interesting. Okay. And then we open up the cards. Oh, Spurs get the number two pick. Oh, man. Sorry. Sorry. I thought I left Dan behind. Listen.

Tony's got the solo stage. Give it a victory laugh. I thought I left Dan behind. Okay, he's still here. I can hear his voice. So, when you open up that card and you see the Dallas Mavericks, and you could have envisioned the Miami Heat. You could have envisioned the Miami Heat having that pick. And I told you guys, in April, okay, this should have been the Miami Heat's pick. And vindication, finally. Sweet vindication, Dan. Sweet vindication. Carl, you heard that, Tony? Deserves a raise. Back to you guys.

You think that segment has legs? Yeah. We like it. Did you find yourself mad last night when, you know, it was, I guess, we learned that that would have been the Heat's pick? Like, the Heat weren't in the draft lottery. It's not their pick. I did find myself mad. It doesn't bother me. To answer your question, when I found out that

the Miami Heat would have been slotted with the same amount of lottery balls as the Dallas Mavericks. But they weren't in the lottery. That's a non-story. I agree with Zedlow. What do you mean it's a non-story? Had they lost and not, as a 10 seed, made the playoffs, only to just... They made the playoffs! Yeah, but they got their ass kicked harder than any team has ever gotten their ass kicked in NBA history. What are we arguing about, by the way? What are we arguing about? I'm saying, like, it doesn't bother me when I learn that that would have been the Heat's pick. It's...

It's not the Heat's pick because they weren't in the lottery. Right. But they would have been if they wouldn't have won and gone their ass kicked in four games by the Cavs in the worst playoff loss ever. Through their own selfish pick-headed actions, they found themselves out of the lottery and not having the number one pick. You know what would have made everything easier? For Nick Garrison and Pat Riley on down? Having the number one pick. You know what would have...

made having Giannis and photoshopped in your jersey a reality having the number one pick that would have made everything real you get the number one pick you're fast track to actually fixing everything you can microwave it back up and you can

compete for a championship because you were right there. You have two all-stars that you can build around. Now, all of a sudden, you have probably the most valuable trade chip since, you know, Wemby went number one. But Cooper Flagg, that's a guaranteed superstar. It's a can't-miss prospect. You can't have a number one pick that has more value than it presently has right now. And it's going to a team that made the NBA Finals last year that was a punchline in the NBA that seemingly couldn't get out of its own way. But guess what they did? They didn't make the playoffs. Miami Heat had to just

F around and make the playoffs to do what? Get their ass kicked by Cleveland to get Zazzle Pearl Jam tickets. Why is the NBA so bad at not looking rigged? Right? That's true. I don't understand. Like, for a league that's always accused of rigging the draft. It's the one league where everything is rigged. And at every chance that they get to not look rigged, they somehow make themselves look more rigged. Do you think?

Well, because you look back to the situation. So Luka goes to the Lakers, a team that the league wants to be very relevant and win a championship, right? But it's not just that he went there. It's the way in which he went there where he was traded to the Lakers, but no one else knew he was available to even be traded for. And the compensation they got back for him was not great. So everyone was upset about that.

So then everyone is saying, well, Nico doesn't know what he's doing. And then all of a sudden, oh, here you go, Nico. Here's the best player available. And like, coincidentally, you're just going to be able to replenish your team after you sent a franchise that we want to be great. Your best player. Here's another superstar just handed to you on a silver platter. When Adam Silver gets word that they won, do you think he kind of like... Adam Silver puts out word that they won. I'm just saying. Okay. Do we really want to... Allegedly. Who in this room legitimately thinks it's... I get it. It looks rigged.

It does. The whole lottery system is ridiculous. But is it rigged? 1.8% can win this grand prize. Well, that's how a lottery is. That's a lottery. I know, but it's not. There has to be a better way to reward teams on a system where the worse you are, the more chances you have to win. If 1.8% can win the grand prize, that's a bad system. Well, when someone

wins the Powerball 500 million. Do you say this is not the right way to do it? It's a bad system? It's a bad system for the NBA. I don't care about the Powerball. You know what I learned the other day about Mega Millions? You know how much a Mega Millions ticket costs now? Is it like a dollar? No. It's $5. Really? They raised the price of Mega Millions from $2 a ticket to

$5 a ticket. Someone asked me this recently. I was like, I think it's a dollar. Well, so I went to the grocery store and I happened to have cash on me. I was getting some stuff for Mother's Day. It was the next day. I'm like, you know what would be a great Mother's Day present for my wife? $110 million. Wow. Like, she would love that. So I'm going to go and I'm going to get her like a... Wives love money. My wife would love that. $110 million? I mean, that's like two years that we don't have to do anything.

So I go and I say, you know what? I'm going to get her like a Mega Millions ticket. And I was like, I'd like, you know, five Mega Millions tickets. I go to give the lady $10. She's like, do you know it's $5 now? And I'm like, no. Are you winning more millions or the same amount of millions? Okay. So I thought she was lying to me. I was like, this doesn't make any sense. Why would they do that? So I go and I look it up and she's like, yeah, it changed like a month ago. So I look it up. Wait, you didn't believe her? No, I didn't believe her. I thought something was up here. I thought that maybe we were like taking the $2. I thought maybe that was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it seems crazy to me that you're going to charge people $5. She sees him giving cash. I know it's a lot more expensive. No, because the thing is, like $2, you could pay $5. I imagine the number of tickets being sold is a lot less. Like you have to think twice. And if you're like in a state where you could play Powerball or Mega Millions and Powerball is $2.

Why would you pay $5 for Mega Millions? So I look it up and like Mega Millions, it's like a spokesperson said that now that it's more expensive, the pot will go up faster and it increases your odds of winning. And I'm like,

Unless, and I didn't buy the ticket, unless they reduce the number of numbers, it does not increase your chance of winning. You still have the exact same odds of winning. Right, right, right. Less people playing doesn't increase your odds. Right, correct. So, like, Mega Millions, $5. Bad job by them. Tool of the week. Are there any rules about this? Hall of Famer?

I don't... The fans vote on that, Zez. You know how it goes. I don't play the lottery, but I'm wondering if there are any rules. Example, what prevents Jeff Bezos from buying $10 million lottery tickets? $10 million lottery tickets. Nothing. So all of a sudden, the billionaires are winning the Powerball. Well, so here's how it could work, because I've also thought about this.

I think your chance of winning is like 1 in 700 and whatever million. So theoretically, you can go and you could buy every single number if the pot is high enough and guarantee that you will win the Powerball.

Right. So if the odds are like one in 600 million and the pot is at 1.8 billion, you could spend 1.2 billion and guarantee that you will win because you have every single number. Right. But you have to do that. And then it's taxed. And then what happens if someone else has your number? And then you have to split the 1.8 billion. And now it's like 900 million. Then you got to decide. You do the lump sum.

Yeah. Or do you do the yearly payout? You gotta go lump sum, baby. Gotta go lump sum. I can get hit by a bus tomorrow. Bunch of suckers doing that yearly payout. Yeah, gotta lump it.

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