The Big Suey: Horse Hockey and Poppycock
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Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

Reminds me of Pimp My Ride. Speaking of Pimp My Ride, here comes David Sampson, host of Nothing Personal with David Sampson. Sampson, welcome to the show. And before we get into some of the more sports business-y topics, have you ever watched the program House Hunters or House Hunters International on HGTV?

I have not. God, that's a segment killer, but I absolutely have not. It's worth a try. The Panthers, I don't know if you heard, David, they won the Stanley Cup. They did. And much to the delight of most of South Florida, you once famously said that as president of the Marlins, you guys publicly...

were very supportive of the local teams, but privately there was a rivalry because you guys are all competing for the same dollar, the same entertainment dollar for the local market. When a team wins, like for instance, when you were president, the Heat won, right? Yes. What is the conversation behind the scenes for all the other organizations locally?

Well, first you're approached by your PR guy who says, all right, do you want to take out a newspaper ad or do you want, what kind of congratulations do you want to do? Social media? When do you want to invite them to come to a game and throw out a first pitch? What do you want to do? Should the owner call the owner, president call the president. We would have a list of things that we would do. My fingers and toes would always be crossed because I would be despondent. I'd be thankful it was finally over.

But I would obviously be upset because we'd have our corporate sales guys go out and they'd be in meetings and the company would say, listen, we've allocated our South Florida dollars to the winners, to the champions. So we're going to cut your deal by X amount. So there was always a definite dollar problem with all the success that another franchise would have. It really was not never an issue with the Panthers during my time with the Marlins.

And it really was an issue with the Dolphins. The Heat were the biggest problem during the course of my career without a question. Samson, hello, by the way. It's Israel. Hey, Israel. I was curious, and I'm sorry if you've spoken about this before. Certainly wouldn't be a Dan Levitard show first to be repetitive. When you were at the game that they caught you on...

on camera hugging and celebrating. That was against the Rangers, right? What was that feeling like? 'Cause I didn't think you were that connected to this team. And then what was it like for you when they won the cup? - So you're talking about the picture and that was with, I was with my son.

And so now we have to go back to a post-divorce world where there is some sort of estrangement wondering why the father was always away for years and then all of a sudden he's out of baseball and then disappears from the house entirely. And so my son and I, I've worked really hard to rebuild and build that relationship and that connection. And he agreed to go to a game with me and we used to go to baseball games all the time and we had never been to a hockey game. And I asked him if he wanted to go to the Ranger playoff game because he's working in New York now.

And we decided, A, we were going to go, and B, we were going to wear Panthers gear. And I'm a Knick fan, and I'm a Ranger fan, but I was rooting for the Panthers because of Matt Caldwell and Vinny Viola. And for South Florida, I wanted the Panthers to win. And for whatever reason, TV caught us doing a celebratory hug. And that's sort of the story of the relationship, where he's celebrating looking one way, and I'm trying to latch on and get sort of –

a moment with him, but I count that as a moment, but maybe that's just me. So the second part of my question is moot because the actual Panther success in the cup means nothing to you. This was just a family moment.

That was a family moment. I'm truly happy that they won the Cup, and I'm really happy for the organization because I don't compete with them at all anymore, obviously. And frankly, it's great to have a Stanley Cup champion. And I loved it for Miami because they became one of, I think, only nine cities now to have championships in all four major sports. And that's pretty cool. I want Miami to be a part of that because I get to be a part of that, having helped the Marlins be a part of that.

That was my stat of the day. Thanks. David, question for you. What age was your son taller than you? When did that start? It happened in high school. It was a big thing. I'll tell you a story. He wanted, as soon as he could talk, one of the things that he wanted was growth hormone because he didn't want to be short the way I am.

And I was an absolute no. And it was a rough go because not that I didn't want to be taller than I. He's got a tall grandfather. Both of his grandfathers are actually tall, 5'11 or greater, at least before they started shrinking. And now they're both passed away. But in any case, I thought he had a shot at height, though my two other children who are older are both very short. So we had a problem.

And I said, no growth hormone. It's not good for you. He said, my friends are all doing it. Let me do it. And I was president of the Marlins at the time. And I was an absolute no. Now, do I think that he did it behind my back? I don't. But he's 5'10 and a half. And he told me that he is very happy that he's not 5'5". Circumstantial evidence, David. My partner Anthony took growth hormones when he was younger. He is 5'5".

Oh, no. Didn't work. Shortest one in his family. No. So that's the worst of both worlds then. Yep. Good athlete. Very short. Yeah. I want him to be tiny.

I actually wanted him to be okay with being short because I think it's important, but he just didn't want to be. And so I know when he became taller than I, because I was pretty focused on it and so was he, he'd always wanna go back to back until I disappeared from the house. But then when I came back into his life, which I always wanted to be, but he was tall and he likes that fact.

The Panthers local TV deal has expired. Jeremy Taché told us yesterday that he found out a few hours before we went on air and then it came out that Bally would no longer be broadcasting Panthers games. They're going to go with Scripps. And when I was told Scripps, David, I said, the Spelling Bee people?

Do you know what I just watched maybe three nights ago? Bad Words. I had one of my sleepless nights and I watched Bad Words again. Yeah, great movie. Great movie. It is a movie that I've now seen maybe 10 times and it still gets better every time.

Bateman as an outright asshole as opposed to a sarcastic asshole is quite the time. I enjoyed it very much, seeing him kind of play against type. Real quick, Scripps involved in sports. They're WNBA and WSL rights. So Scripps is not just getting into sports for the first time. But it is the Spelling Bee people. Yeah. Okay. So let me be clear about something. And I covered this on This Morning's Nothing Personal. But here we go.

The deal that the Panthers just did, they're only doing because they can't get money from a stone. Bally's is bankrupt. In the Panthers' mind, their deal was so small to begin with that they felt that they could have a PR strategy

where they say, we're bringing the game to you. There's such great demand. We just won a Stanley Cup. We are going to reward this community with over-the-air rabbit antenna games. Meanwhile, as an owner of a team, you are despondent beyond repair that you have to go over the air. If the fan base were greater and bigger, and I'm not sulling the fan base at all, but if they thought for one minute

that there would be enough subscribers who would pay monthly on a streaming app, that's the direction the Panthers would have gone. But what teams are doing is they're saying, no, no, we're going to go over the air as a gift to all of you to broaden our reach and exposure. It's all poppycock. They want the revenue. They want the money. And there was no money in that Bally's deal. So they're taking the rights back.

But in order for the Panthers to thrive, they've got to find a way to monetize their broadcast. And scripts ain't it. The Phoenix Suns did the same thing. They said, hey, you know, as soon as the new ownership, you know, first thing we're doing, we're giving the games for free over the air. And I said, that's because you don't have a TV deal. That's not correct. That's not out of magnanimity. Right.

NBA free agency is going, David. What do you find? What's tickled your fancy the most? For me, it's been LeBron announcing he'd take less than Max to give the Lakers the opportunity to go out and get names. And then they didn't get anybody. They said, you know what? Never mind. I'll just take the Max.

The whole thing was so choreographed that broke live during my show this morning that he signed that deal and I and I got to react live. And so now I've had about an hour to think about it. And it's even more Machiavellian than I was able to communicate. This was so scripted. Speaking of scripts.

drafting Bronny, giving him a roster spot, a multi-year deal, then LeBron signing. It all had to happen in that order. And then for JJ Redick to deny and to actually say, hey, you know, Bronny is what case study number one of our player development. He is here because he deserves to be here. It's such horse hockey that it made me laugh. Why couldn't they have just been honest? Say, you know what?

This is damn cool. A father and a son. There's no way Bronny would be on this team, but we wanted to give this to LeBron because he deserves it. It's so amazing that he has this opportunity and that he's still a productive player at his age. And so we let him choose the coach. We let him choose the draft pick and we let him choose.

choose the contract. If I'm an executive in that situation, I'm cringing. I'm like, JJ, you are now saying he's earned this, meaning he deserves the spot, meaning if you don't play him, there's going to be a question mark here or they're going to say that we made the wrong choice. That's a terrible choice for Jada to go with.

I couldn't imagine how bad the PR strategy was during that press conference. It's like they didn't expect to have to answer. It's like Bronny did not embrace the reality. So he was somehow coached to say, oh, this is nothing to do with my dad. It's a silly way to go. What I think is going to happen with the Lakers and what I hope they're smart enough to have done with LeBron is say we drafted him, we signed him.

We're going to play him the first time you're active. That's all we're guaranteed. After that, he may be DNPCD every single game. We may need the roster spot at some point, but you will be on the court with your son one time. But if they promised him that he has to have a roster spot throughout the playoffs and all through this contract, that would just be disastrous for the Lakers.

We're going to have more with David Sampson next, including something that Mike Ryan said yesterday, that Pat Riley has been passed over by the game.

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We're back with David Sampson, host of Nothing Personal with David Sampson. You can get it wherever you get podcasts or watch it right here on the DraftKings Network. David, yesterday, an apoplectic Mike Ryan said that... Is he ever any other way? But it was extra yesterday. It was one of those things where on July 1st,

Or July 2nd, I guess, was yesterday. He was absolutely destroyed that the Heat did not somehow net Paul George and Victor Weminyama and Steph Curry and every other... I would say Mike was pretty calm on that subject. Was he calm? Yeah.

That was not calm. Just because the words are conveyed like this does not mean that there isn't an air of extreme panic. And I said, Mike, you knew what the cap situation was going in. You knew what the roster situation was going in. What gave you the idea that on July 1, you would have a blockbuster deal? And he just kept saying, well, this is what the Heat are known for. And I said, it's been Alonzo Mourning, Shaquille O'Neal, Bosh and LeBron, and then Jimmy Butler.

And that's it. Over the course of 30, now almost 30 years with Pat Riley, you've got four players

landmark deals that they did that where they went whale hunting and they and they caught one pretty good this is one of those situations where i'm biting my tongue so hard because i want to get past the david samson portion of the interview because i have some beef with you okay this list of yours well david do you think the game has passed pat riley by and that the heat somehow have failed that magnificently because they didn't get someone in the first 48 hours of free agency

So I got crushed for saying this on your show months ago, where I said that for the heat to continue, it's time for Pat Riley to step aside. And it was absolutely not received well. And I love Pat. And he's a Hall of Famer. He's on the Mount Rushmore of executives and coaches, in my opinion.

But it is a different game. And if you look at the players that he has decided to get into bed with, basically he's carried forward his coaching philosophy into his executive philosophy. And I call it the two for 18 philosophy. It's the dance with the players who brought you to the dance philosophy. It's the, oh my God, John Stark stinks. We're gonna keep letting him shoot in game seven philosophy. It's the long-term deals. You guys criticize me nonstop for some of the deals I cut in your community. What about some of these long-term deals?

And I can't argue with the rings. I can't argue with Shaq, LeBron choosing Miami. Was it because of Pat Riley? I could argue one way or the other, and I could be convincing one way or the other. But if you look at what's happened when there has not been a central figure, and I count Jimmy Butler because the streak and the run with Jimmy has been great. But recognizing when a window closes is not something that he's good at.

And this window is closed for the heat. They need to do something different, better, smarter. And it just occurs to me that Pat may be too stubborn. I mean, that does sound like a calmed down version of Mike. I think it's crazy. I think they have been the only team locally. And I know people are tired of hearing this, who refuse to shut a window. It is always trying to

keep that thing open, and they have been relevant for since, what, 1995 when Pat got here, say, for a couple of years. You know, an injury here and just a down cycle there. But the down cycle was very short. And so, you know, we're not going to re-talk about everything that, you know, Jimmy has done in this era. But again, South Floridian grew up through all of this. They're the only team that forces themselves into that conversation or tries to all the time. And I'll just forever give them a standing ovation for that.

because I don't have that roller coaster experience like I've had with the Marlins, Dolphins, etc. Give them a standing ovation. For the rest of time? You said you would. Riley, I love you, man.

I think it's great to give Pat a standing ovation and he deserves to be in Springfield. And I agree with all of that. But the question was a bit smaller, Israel. The question is, do we think the game has changed enough that it has passed him by? Father Time is going to win every single time. You know that.

And that was really my point. I am not sulling the run that the Heat have had. I'm merely saying that the comment that you said is very telling. They've refused to let the window close. That's not the sign of a good team.

A good executive knows when to close the window and gets it open as quickly as possible. And that's the difference. Those windows have resulted in three championships and many more finals runs. So I'm good with that philosophy based on the results in the town that I live in for my life. And also, I would add, like, this team isn't...

a horrible train wreck. I mean, this is still an elite defense every single year. Their problem is very specific.

And I think the fix, they're searching for the fix. To me, passing them by is them going after the wrong guys, going after guys that, oh, this guy should be good. And it's like, no, that guy clearly isn't the answer. They went after Damian Lillard. They didn't get him. They went after Donovan Mitchell. It looks like they're not going to get him for the time being. Like these are guys that I think are good selections. It's just, you know, I mean, David, you know this as well as anyone.

I can say, ooh, let me try and get this guy. But until I get an agreement going with the other side that owns his rights, there's not much I can do. Yeah, I don't like when we are Monday morning quarterbacks, and that's what our industry is, where it's funny. One part of it is the insiders who try to scoop everybody. The other side are the critiquers who, once deals are done, they start talking about it. When you're actually doing the deals, it's not like –

it's portrayed in the media. And Amin, this must frustrate you to no end because you're my comp for someone who's done deals and then also gets paid to talk about the people who are doing the deals. And I think you'll agree there is a Grand Canyon size difference between the way things actually happen and the way the majority of the media describes them and fans describe them as happening. - Yeah, I think a big thing is

I look for mismanagement, right? So we talked about the Lakers in the last segment. We're talking about the Heat here. And you could see the Lakers have mismanagement. They're doing, yeah, they could say, oh, yeah, we wanted to get Klay Thompson, but he just said no or whatever. But a lot of, along the way, they're doing these steps where it's like, that's not how you do that. And because you make this mistake that you think is just a throwaway thing, it accumulates, it builds up, and now you're where you find yourself. Whereas with the Heat,

I think they make, by and large, the right decisions. It's just, you know, at some point you're waiting for a shoe to drop that you have no control over. Let me add this, if I can, David, to the idea that...

This strategy doesn't work, that it's not a good front office strategy. I and it's the only sport, the only team that I have ever paid a monthly subscription service to watch was for the Miami Heat. And it was a couple of years ago when they weren't even supposed to be that good. Why? Because year after year after year after year, they've convinced me that they were going to try to be good. And that sold me.

I want to watch them. They are in my heart, if you will. None of these other teams have that anymore. Dolphins had that for a little while when I was growing up. Gone. Panthers never had it. It's getting there now. And Marlins, I'm sorry, never had it. It was too obvious of a, you know, just getting rid of everybody as soon as the championships were won. So Heat, the only person I would pay for it. The Panthers are doing this for long enough and are good long enough. You know what? They are going to people who are going to pay for their monthly subscription, too.

Yeah, I don't want to relitigate, but Israel, I would actually hope that you would acknowledge that it was 06, three years later, we got rid of everybody, not immediately. Sorry. Well, the franchise, not just you doing it, but the franchise in general. I just wanted to remind, sometimes I have to remind myself because we get lopped in with Huizinga, but I don't want to actually go back to that. But I am curious that you pay for the heat. You wouldn't pay for the Panthers now. They just won the cup. I will. They need to do more. Yeah, I think they might have missed out on that opportunity because I would have next season for sure.

hmm so it's interesting because their choice has to be because they in their mind do not feel that it's real enough and if you look at the ratings and i know that when i used to it's not nice of me but we used to call the panthers hashtag because that was the audience on bally's it used to be fox sports florida but that was the number it was it was heat marlins and hashtag

And what the Panthers have done is they changed their whole organization. They've committed on the ice. They have done something that is incredible that ended in a Stanley Cup. My view is you've got to take it out for a ride. And they gave up so quickly. And I get it because you panic when you see what's happening with your. How quick can they turn that switch? I mean, obviously now it's too late. They already announced. But how quick could they have turned that switch?

You can develop it with Gary Bettman and with the streaming service. You can have your own streaming service the way the Yankees did with Yes Network. I don't know why there's a thumb up right now. Did I do that? So you can do that. Sorry, that's not even fun for the audio people. Yes, it would be done available for next season without a question. Real quick, David, before we get you do have a movie. Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. But before we get there, hashtag. Is it just because it's a number sign and it doesn't matter what the actual number is?

Is that the joke? Hashtag is when it doesn't rate. Okay. Nice. All right. It's a small enough audience that it doesn't rate. David, I'm really excited for the movie you are reviewing this week.

I hope so. And Jessica and Lucy, I know that you we are not we don't share movie tastes and I get it. I didn't want to watch 1940s movies when when I was growing up and your age. So you may think 80s movies are this. There is a documentary out today. It's a current movie. It's called Remembering Gene Wilder. And I don't know if you know who Gene Wilder is, but I want to sign. He went to Iowa. Oh, yeah.

I did not know that. Him and Ashton Kutcher, that's all we got. Kalen Clark, too, but Ashton Kutcher didn't graduate. I guess you still get to count that you went to college if you don't graduate. I guess baseball players do it all the time instead of basketball players. So remembering Gene Wilder, he is an actor who...

This documentary goes back to his beginnings, which were fascinating, through Willy Wonka, which is only one of the famous parts he had. And Gene Wilder has a personal place in my life because the first movie that got me into movies was a Gene Wilder movie called Silver Streak.

and the relationship between him and Richard Pryor, who is really the grandfather of all the great comedians you see today. To me, Richard Pryor. Eddie Murphy may be the father. Richard Pryor is Eddie Murphy's father.

And people may not know who that is. They may associate him with Freebasing. You may associate Gene Wilder with just Wonka. If you watch this documentary, it will give you insight into the rebar that was Gene Wilder for the movie industry, for the comedy industry, for the buddy movie industry. So I would ask, and I don't ask a lot,

If you're willing, please watch Remembering Gene Wilder. - I watched it. It's incredible. - Really? - And I did not know that he passed away from Alzheimer's. And so even that storytelling about how the end came about for him,

kind of moved me and I'm a guy who doesn't get moved very easily so it is definitely worth your time even if all you've ever seen of him was Willy Wonka it's incredible it's a great piece of documentary David thanks a lot nothing personal with David Sampson check him out wherever you get podcasts

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The Stove from Grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smell Not Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age. Don Levitard. Sugar daddies. These things, I'm telling you. I love sugar daddies. They get stuck in your teeth. You can't chew them. They're like impossible to chew. They're impossible to chew. Looking for sugar daddies every day. Stugatz. Hell yeah, brother. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz.

You know, Izzy actually asked me a really good question before the mics went on. These images that are behind you guys, is that new? Or has this been a thing before? I had some fun with the video department. I endorse these because every time I look back, normally I just kind of look at you guys to see which one's engaging. Now I get to see from left to right, Dancing Chris Cody. In the middle, Dancing Greg Cody.

On the right, another dancing and then disappearing Chris Cody. It is the happiest that room has ever been, just on a loop. Well, it would be odd if they had behind us just us and our phones. Well, yeah, yeah, no, that's true. But just the fact that it is, you know, three Codys.

I guess technically two Codys, right behind you doing everything to liven up the room. I think it's absolutely perfect. Shout out video team. We gotta add Chris doing the electric slide in the last segment to the montage. I'm with you. We had like someone cut like a little sizzle of like the last three years of like show moments for a meeting we had recently. And I enjoyed it. It was like, oh wow, look at that fun time. Look at that fun time. We have done some stuff.

Was there a clip of Chris answering his phone? Because I'm still shocked that that is a possibility. Oh, my foot. I did that for Mystery Crate, actually. Check out Mystery Crate this week if you want to see me answer my phone. With your foot? Yeah. I do that all the time. Oh, my God.

Not pick up your cell phone with your foot, but put your foot to your ear. Wait, what do you do? As if you're a phone, yes. That flexibility is... You're either born with that or you're not. Chris Shulman, answer the phone please. I don't hear a ring. I mean, there's no phone ring. Ring, ring. Wait, so your foot is your phone. Look at that. Look at that. That's insane. My hip does not do that. I got you. Real mystery. We all have weird talents. You answer a phone with your foot? Yeah. Like you grab your phone with your foot?

the green button. See, Lucy knows what I'm talking about. But you don't grab it with your foot. What? You grab it in between your big toe and your tall toe. Wait, what? Hold on a second. Both of you do this? Yeah, you just... And you're not the foot girl. I feel like Lucy was just supporting a friend. No, no, no. If my phone is... Let's say I'm painting my nails. My phone's at a reach. Someone calls and I can swipe or press the green button. I press it and then I can press speaker. With what?

Big toe. Yeah, big toe. Also like the remote. Or I could do my, like the ball of my foot. The remote when you're changing the volume? Yeah, I can do that. So I'm never touching your remote control either when I go to your house. With your foot? You're clean. I don't do it often. I had a barefoot flyer the other day and I was like, I thought we were done with these. Because like you see those videos of like the people, remember when like, airplanes I guess just don't have screens behind their seats anymore, at least not the airplanes I can afford.

So, like, they had those. And then you'd see the videos of people, like, swiping with their toes. And you're like, okay, I'm never touching that again. And then they got rid of those screens. At least on the planes I've gone, there's no screens anymore. And then I just saw, like, a person just, like, barefoot. Like, with their foot, like, on the person in front of their, like, leaning against the back of the armrest. It's not, like, they wouldn't touch them because it wasn't that far. But it was just like, why are we still doing this whole barefoot thing? Like, on airplanes, touching everything. Like, just...

Your foot might be gross, right? But also, the chair is gross. Why do you want your possibly clean foot touching this nasty-ass seat? I never go barefoot on flights. Never even wore sandals. Always have socks on my feet.

But I don't get appalled by it the way some people do. I'm going to defend these people. I don't do it. You don't get appalled by a barefoot? If I see someone with sandals, I'm just like... No, but barefoot, shoes off. No, no. Shoes off. A great toe does not pay attention to other people's feet? I just don't look at it and get that disgusted. Obviously, if someone's swiping the screen with their foot, that would be disgusting. But I want to defend foot people. I'm going to tell you why the sandal people are on the shit list, right? Number one is...

Most of them don't have TSA pre-check. Meaning, you went through security barefoot through this gross-ass airport where billions of people walk through every single hour. Like, that's just, that's gross, right? That's number one. Then they get on the plane and they just kick their ass.

Feet up and touch things that are basically touched by hands, right? My hand sets these armrests, man. My hand sets the train. Who's putting their foot on the armrest? Plenty of people. That's what we're trying to tell you. Plenty of people. A lot of people. I won't defend those people. I recently had a foot situation that I feel like maybe, maybe Jess and Lucy can relate to, but...

Here we go. So you know how they have those little masks and stuff that they have at like Ulta or Sephora, right? You could do a little day, 15 minute. Well, they have those things for your feet, right? So you could just put your feet in a little pouch and all of a sudden there's a bunch of liquid in there. You leave it in there for an hour. Boom. It's supposed to do something to your feet, right? What's this assumption that we're not foot masking over here, by the way?

I fast. Are you putting a face mask on? I face mask sometimes. I like the ones that dry that you peel off. And then like, here's the gross part. I like to see the blackheads get pulled out. Like, I like to see like the stalactites and stalagmites on my old removed face mask. I watch those videos on TikTok. You're never going to like to see what I experienced because I did one of these before. It was a foot thing, right? And turns out it was fine. It was like a moisturizing thing. This one.

was more of a peel thing. Yes, Lucy. - It lasts for days too. - I didn't read that on the thing. And so I'm done, whatever. I'm like, oh, my feet look normal.

Two days later, I looked down and it looked like I had a flesh-eating disease because all my foot skin was coming off of my feet. I looked in the mirror with my foot like that and the entire bottom of my foot was about to come off. You sure you can't answer the phone? I told you. Is it called baby foot? Can we put it on speaker, please? It's supposed to be like an exfoliating thing. It's like a multi, is it baby foot?

It's like a multi-day foot mask. - But it was six full days. - It peels off your whole foot. I've never done it. - It was insane. I thought it was going to keep going up and then all of a sudden I'd be peeling off. - No, it's like a chemical peel for your foot. - They didn't warn you on the, like a week from now your foot's gonna be gross. And I had a pedicure planned, scheduled, and I almost canceled it because I was embarrassed. And she went in there and she's like, "No, people do this all the time." They come in in the phase where you were, where it was just about to come off.

And they're like, ew, that's gross. At least I came in at the back end of the face. What? What, right now? If you were to touch my footamine, baby soft skin. Do it. Touch it. Amazing. Confirm that. I'll touch it. Confirm it. Come over here, Chris. Touch his foot. I'm just doing a thing. No, no. Chris, you just said you weren't grossed out by feet. Touch it.

I guarantee you this foot is probably so much nicer than your dad's foot that you grew up with, by the way. That's probably why he's not grossed out by airplane feet because he grew up with Greg Cody, the worst foot of all. My dad has some pretty gross feet. Definitely.

Dads have gross feet. I look at my feet and I wonder sometimes, is this like a time bomb here? Is your foot gross? No, it's not. Actually, I've been complimented on my feet a lot of times. Wow. Air out a little if you want. Look at that. Foot boys. Model quality feet is what they say. Really? They say that? They say. I had a little surgery on it. It does look very soft. Thank you. I'm not going to lie. I kind of regret this.

It's like he had Botox on his feet. He doesn't have it. It's smooth. Didn't you do the little piggies to Witty one time, Chris? Yeah, do little piggies. Tell Chris to do little piggies. Which little piggy goes home? I don't remember. Yeah, which one was it? How did that go? The pinky piggy goes home. That was good enough. I know. I was trying to trick him to do it. Wee, wee, wee. All the way home? It didn't work. Where's he going? He just left. I imagine he's going to wash his hands or maybe not.

How much would you offer as a reward for the retrieval of something of value to you? It depends on the thing. Let's say it's your phone. You lost your phone. And you say, hey, if you bring me my phone back, I'll give you how much would you say for a lost phone?

200 bucks. 200 bucks is a lot, but okay. So you want me to say less than 200 bucks? Or I should say more. $400. What if you lost your laptop? That's a company laptop. They're on the hook, not me. Jack. What if you lost your glasses? $6 billion. What if you lost a ring worth $100,000? $100,000.

Would a couple of tickets to a game and some signed merch get the job done? So this is a Jalen Brown thing. This is absolutely the Jalen Brown thing. He lost his ring, this... During the championship parade. Diamond-encrusted ring during the championship parade. Said, big reward. Big reward for the person...

Who returns it to me? Who can find it and return it to me? Big reward. I'm thinking, wow, this guy just signed a deal. Before you even say what the award is, the reward was, what are you doing in that situation? You have all that information. You know the ring is real. You know who it belongs to. You probably have a good idea. It's six figures at the minimum. What are you doing with that?

I am sending... As a Celtics fan. You are also a Celtics fan because you are at the parade. Jeez, I'm sending the biggest ransom note I can send, brother. Getting a lot of magazines. Yep. You have 24 hours. I thought we were talking about other magazines.

I didn't know he was going there, but now he's writing a ransom letter. A lot of magazines are getting clippings from the magazines, guys. Come on, 20 CB. The ransom note. Already wasting money that you don't even have yet. Oh, buddy, I got money. It's kind of like when people catch home run balls that the team wants to give to the player, the team wants back, and they're like, oh, how about we give you a free hot dog? This, to me, is the easiest answer. People talk about bags of money, what could be illegal, what...

This, and I know it can be illegal if you actually know that it belongs to somebody else. I'm going to play dumb. I'm going to a pawn. I'm going to multiple pawn shops, actually. I'm going to play dumb. And if one of them says, hey, didn't Jalen Brown lose this ring? I'd be like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Give me my ring. I'm getting out of here until I get the price that I want. I'm getting that money. And then I'm going to snip, snip, snip, snip all those little magazine letters and write him a letter and say, hey, I think your ring is at this pawn shop. And that's it.

That's crazy behavior. What are you talking about? There are people who would take bags of money and just go home with it. Why wouldn't you take the ring? Why are they going to snitch on where you sold it? Yeah, the poor pawn guy. What are you doing that for? He's making money. Jalen Brown's going to buy it back from him. You have to go to a really unethical pawn guy though because some of them wouldn't buy that sort of thing if they knew it belonged to someone. An unethical pawn shop owner. I don't think those exist. You're right. Don't go to the pawn stars. They're very ethical. Okay, so at

At the very least, like if I'm thinking I can get 100K for that ring, I don't care whose it is. I'm going to do it. He probably has a bunch of rings or he can buy it back or he can give the pawn shop owner the prize. What was the prize? The prize was some tickets to Celtics games and some signed merch.

And I was just like, dude, I'm not saying that, look, if I found it, I wouldn't ask for $100,000 because it's worth $100,000. You can't ask for what the thing is worth because at that point, he's like, I'll just buy a new one. I'm not going to ask Jalen Brown, but I'm going to ask somebody else for what it's worth. But if he came and said $10,000 reward,

Like, okay. Then I get to be a hero. Like, okay, I found Jalen Brown's ring and I got a little cash to say something about. But like, an autographed jersey and tickets to a game? Yeah, even the 10, it's got to be at least a quarter. Dude, that means literally he's not spending any money. The tickets are comp. The jersey, I get it from the equipment manager and sign it. You're literally not willing to pay a dollar out of pocket. Also, another element, highest paid player in the league.

another thing to think about how about this how about you take the ring you go to a jeweler and you go hey look let's create one but a fake one that looks just like he's not going to know the difference okay then we go split half and half you can sell this thing on the download black market we split the money we give him back the ring he thinks it's the real ring it is of course the fake ring that cost us 25 bucks instead of 100 grand everybody's happy

You just wrote Oceans 12, my friend. Oceans 17. That is the worst of the ideas. What was your idea? I'd leave it there. Run away, yeah.

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