The Big Suey: Rigged Or Not Rigged
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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

I actually hurt my ankle a little bit there. That was not a fake fall. I think Tony felt me tumble into him, and so I needed some training and some help there. Tony's not wrong on everything he said. No disagreement, right? I couldn't hear on the floor what people were saying to you, and you sounded a little winded. But yes, of course, it would be really nice to have a Cooper flag. In fact, it felt to me somewhere...

Bill Simmons is rooting for Cooper Flagg in a way that seems sweet. And he has been understanding that this is a player that can be transcendent. Well, this is why I probably the same thing I feel where I didn't want to go to Charlotte. I didn't want to go to Washington. Dallas is probably like when it came down to the final two picks, Dallas and San Antonio. It's like, all right, he's going to go to a pretty decent spot.

Well, is he? Yeah. Or is he going to get traded for Giannis? Because you were the one to throw out immediately with the Giannis reports. Like, you get that number one pick. You call him Milwaukee. This is one of the more valuable number one picks of all time. Okay, so I'm only going by what Nico Harrison has told us.

Like, Nico Harrison traded away Luka for Anthony Davis because he has a three-year window. They have a three-year window as an organization now to win a championship. So if that's the case...

You have to trade the number one pick, right? But the Kyrie Irving injury now changes the math there a little bit because if you had Kyrie Irving with AD and then you add a Cooper flag, okay, you've got a nice core. Now Kyrie's out and it's like, all right, do we have to make something else happen because that championship window, that championship core is now missing a third. Well, then what you're saying is then he has to now trade Anthony Davis, right?

Because the three-year window is based around Davis. And if they're abandoning the three-year window, again, his words. But defense wins championships. His words. His words. You get Giannis and Anthony Davis. I don't care who the third piece is. I'm going by his words. Based on the reason he made the Anthony Davis trade is because they have a three-year championship window. And if that's the... Unless he's...

changing his entire plan. They have to join one pick. I'm sorry, Billy, to interrupt you, but Cody has made some fun of Zaslow on this, saying that Cody is more of a journalist than Zaslow is.

Well, but I happen to know that Zaslow's got legitimate sources. I believe that Zaslow could break news right now about knowing what the Miami Heat is already in play for. This is not about them. Here we go. Zaslow, do I have this wrong? Hold on. Do you not have exclusive sources that would say to you exactly who could be—

I know it's not about the Miami Heat, but Zaslow has breaking news here. From what I understand, Giannis is interested. Wow. Now I know we saw the report yesterday from Shams. He's open to everything. He's interested in literally every team. Well, he's definitely not interested in every team. Are you saying Shams is a liar? Yeah. Well, no, but I'm saying that if Sean... Hold on. Did you say Shams is a liar? Sorry. Just to be clear. Well, Sean said Giannis is open to everything, right? Okay. Well,

Well, I'm saying that's a little bit much. He's definitely not open to being traded to the Washington Wizards. So I'm not calling Shams a liar, but I'm just saying he's not open to everything. He's not open to going to the worst teams. But I will tell you, Giannis, interested in the Heat? And not the only one.

In this group of people that you're talking about, because I do believe that Anthony Davis would have some moves here, would he not? Like, Anthony Davis is a power broker, whether he's injured or not. Like, he's... I don't know who you think these 10 players are in the league, but when Anthony Davis is healthy, he's one of them. Yeah, so that's where this also becomes interesting, right? Because I'm going by Nico Harrison's words. He has a three-year championship window. But...

Because like Tony said, if the Kyrie Irving injury is going to change everything, well, you kind of got to go around and trade away Anthony Davis. Like pick a lane, pick a direction if you're the Mavs. And if they're picking the direction of Cooper Flagg, then you need to trade away Anthony Davis because that's not a three-year window. And Davis could be another guy. Again, power broker who could be interested in Miami. I mean, but Cooper Flagg was part of the Luka trade. So like he knew this was happening.

Like the league said, we'll give you the number one pick in Cooper Flag if you just gift them. Give Luca to the Lakers. Billy, so you speak for a not quiet minority.

that believes everything that happened there is bullshit because it's too perfect a story. All of it. And Nico wins. How does Nico win in the end? That is a stunning move. It's against all odds. The Nico story. Let's see how he manages this also situation. In the history of the NBA, like big time controversial trades. Remember, the league stopped Chris Paul from getting traded to L.A. And they said, hey, you better trade him to the other L.A. team. Guess what? We own the Pels at this time. You get the number one pick.

Anthony Davis, everybody wants Anthony Davis. Oh, we're going to trade him to LA? Great. You trade him to LA, guess what? You get the number one pick. Luka Doncic, no one knows that he's available. You could also add LeBron went to Miami. Okay, Cavs, you get the number one pick. And they get Cavs seven number one picks to try to fix the situation. Luka, you go to LA? You take care of LA? You get the number one pick. That seems to be the deal in this league. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

If they're rigging the draft, people would go to prison. Nah, I don't think so. I don't think so. Do you have rich people going to prison? Yeah, come on, man. Also, how are we so certain that Nico is going to take Cooper Flagg with the number one pick? Well, doesn't it get interesting where if Nico says, hey, I got a three-year championship window, so I'm going to trade away this pick, like do the Mavs then let him like, hey, the reaction to the Luka trade went so well. Yeah.

We're going to let you trade away the number one overall pick as well. Can I ask you guys a question? Why does the NBA think this is a good system? The lottery system. Why do they think that? Why do they insist on this? Because we really don't have complaints about how the other sports do it. You have a system in which every year people allege is rigged.

Everyone thinks that when the draft breaks certain ways, the first accusation from the masses is it's rigged. And also, you're not actually doing anything to curb the tanking. You had Utah and Washington tank all year. They knew it wasn't guaranteed. They end up with picks five and six. It ain't stopping the next Utah and Washington from tanking. It's literally not doing anything it's designed to do. And also, everyone thinks it's rigged. Yeah.

Why is this system still in place? I mean, it does curb teams from tanking a little bit. Right? A little bit. It only curbs one. It doesn't seem like it. A little bit. It's only curbing this one that resides down here in Miami. They also changed the system. Flattened the odds. And now it looks even more rigged than it did before. Before they changed the system to make it not look rigged. Why is this still around? Everyone has an issue with it. It's...

It's the worst of the major sports. It is literally working against the interest that it was designed to protect. I don't get why we still do this. And there are models to improve the lottery, and one of them is to put extra weight on a team's record in the last 20 games of the season.

I mean, there are ways. So you would take chances away from them if they're especially bad the last 20 games? NBA 2K fixed it. There are options to fix it. That's not a terrible idea. You have a little mini tournament. You take the final third of the season into account. There's so many possible solutions where teams can actually play into this and you can reward not tanking. The league just refuses to do it.

And you can only assume they love this stuff. They love everyone accusing that it's rigged. They love teams tanking because they're not doing anything to actually stop it. You see the NHL system. The NHL had their draft lottery last week. Their system wouldn't allow Dallas to get the number one overall pick. You're only able to move up, like, if you win the draft lottery, you're only able to move up a maximum of, like,

eight spots. Okay, Chris Cody, the Levitard family tree of friends, Jorge Sedano has been ahead of this particular curve for many years. One of the first controversial things I ever heard Jorge Sedano do is he told the commissioner of the league, David Stern, that his league was fixed. I remember this. Yeah, well, can we call Jorge Sedano and just talk to him about this? Because what you guys are alleging here is outrageous. However, if I may just answer your question for a second.

Time to throw away dull journalistic credibility and get reckless. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. You're good. Thank you, Tony. Didn't seem like anyone else knew what to do there. We missed Dugat. We missed Dugat. Zaslow doesn't know how to replace him. He's a pale imitation.

I'm living my life. Who's putting their name on rigged? Because we're doing a lot of talking about, oh, it looks rigged. Everyone thinks it's rigged. Do you actually, though? Yeah. Nobody really does. I don't actually. I do. Why don't they just give the number one pick to the winner of the in-season tournament that they're trying to make a thing? You know that it's a major accounting firm, Ernst & Young, that is in charge. And accounting firms have never defrauded people. Okay, but why would they risk going to prison for the NBA? Yeah.

I mean, people go to prison for all kinds of stupid reasons. Stupid basketball! Yeah! They're not going to prison. Stupid basketball? Terry Rozier is out here. Of course they would go to prison if they rigged the lottery. What law covers that? Yeah, that's a good question. I'm a journalist, not a lawyer, so you're asking me questions I don't have all the specifics to. I'm also a judge. He's a judge. He doesn't worry about the rules. He's rising up. He is with prejudice. Prejudice. He is climbing up the ranks. He is both judge and...

and journalist, so he's judge and jury. He's sometimes executioner, Your Honor. I apologize for doubting him. But to answer Mike's question, why do we love this system? Because the NBA is great at knowing before the rest of us did, hey, stories and storylines are fun and entertainment. How about we throw in

Something everyone loves, it's gambling a lottery. Make it totally random. Everyone loves a televised lottery. Look, you're going to watch a live television program. And they have game show music going the whole time, too. Were you hurt by Luca? The lottery fixes all of your dreams. Nico goes from terrible executive to star-studded one. And I think Billy's question is a reasonable one. Don't put it past him. He might not draft Cooper Flagg.

We don't know that. He might draft someone else. Rolando Blackman was pretty noncommittal when they spoke to him after they won. But the answer to Mike's question on what's fixed, because it is fascinating, I want to hear you guys actually argue about this, where the conspiracy theories lie.

But it's not the games or the lottery that's fixed. It's the costs. Like if you keep all of the fixed costs with all of these young players that are worth a huge amount of money, Jason Tatum, and you negotiate the business of this, like I understand your skepticism, but Zaz is right when he says all of this would be profoundly illegal to fix the lottery.

Right, but it's not stopping people from saying that it's fixed, which is a perception issue. And more importantly, it's not actually stopping teams from tanking. But also, like, where is it in the Constitution? Because, like, right to bear arms, right to freeze-freeze, don't rig the NBA draft lottery. Like, I miss that amendment. You know what also doesn't help the whole draft lottery is rigged is when the most famous player in the world, LeBron James—

insinuates that it's rigged. Like, why does he insist on doing that? He puts out the laughing emojis immediately after, and don't forget,

when he was on the McAfee show, what was it, like four, five, six months ago? And he straight up says he believes the NBA rigged the draft lottery in 2003 to get him to Cleveland. I'd like a crack at answering that question psychologically, actually, because I've come around on like Billy's theory when he says Aaron Rodgers just is somehow addicted to attention. That's what the virus is.

LeBron James, when Mike said yesterday of Pat Riley, he's being prideful here. Duh. LeBron James has realized over the last 20 years the power he actually has, and it's because at this time of year, he's always the one everyone's talking about. It's been for 20 years. Like, that's where he went from kid to adult, you know, 20 years old on. He's been the most famous athlete in the world, surprisingly normal in public, and the league just got taken away from him. Like, we...

where everyone understands that Steph injury what it means right like they got Jimmy they got Jimmy Butler for Jimmy give us 24 games of the crazy by the way Jimmy last night no but give it no but no no no please all the needles to the legs you need give us just 24 get Steph to the end we'll take 24 days of crazy Steph and LeBron are giving over the league right now um

This is cold to say, Jason Tatum and the Celtics machine didn't just blow a tire last night, the engine blew.

Like the teams will get better at threes faster and next year OKC will be better because they've got fixed costs. They've got, hey, you guys all got to stay in seven years in OKC, Shea. You can't leave. You know why? We got you locked in. Please sign an extension now because we had James Harden and Kevin Durant and we had Russell Westbrook and we learned in a small market.

The thing that New York had to hire a bunch of agents to figure out, which is if we have all the draft picks, we can keep them OKC fixed costs because that lottery, that lottery, it pays for everything. Yeah, but you can have fixed costs without a lottery.

I simply do not comprehend using the fixed cost as an argument to keep the lottery in place. No, you're just saying the draft. I'm saying the business of the sport on display for all of us to see, especially in the age where the transaction is so important that we're talking as much today about Giannis and about the draft as we are about the game that was played. It's not for all of us to see. It happens behind closed doors with an accounting firm that the NBA hires and the

The sources are, just trust us, bro. I can understand. There's a rule of representatives of every team in there, too. I understand. I understand. It's not wrestling, Mike. I'm not alleging that it's rigged. I'm saying that everyone thinks that it's rigged, and there are reasons why everyone thinks that it's rigged. But nobody talks about it being rigged the year that the team with the highest percentage likelihood wins. They're talking about it now because 1.8% won. That's how you throw them off the set. That's an anomaly. LeBron did.

LeBron gave voice to, yeah, they had the best odds that year. And what? They still fixed it to make sure I got there. There's plenty of reasons as to why people think it's fixed because it's not super transparent. But the idea of risking the credibility of a league just for like... No, no, take away credibility. It's risking the league. They rigged the 06 finals. There was a referee rigging the 2006 NFL.

NBA Finals. What are we talking about? That's a rogue referee. This is like a league decision of like, alright, we're going to manipulate all these things. It's a rogue referee that officiated a lot of games and was allowed to continue to officiate while an investigation was pending and had other close referees

that I should remind you, are still officiating to this day. You're playing both sides. You just said you don't actually believe it's rigged. And now you're like, but... No, I'm not telling you what to think. I'm asking you if you'd like to. There's plenty of reasons as to why people think it's rigged. And also, one of the reasons are, it was!

You also have their officials, while not making bets, impacting the outcome of games where you know every team exactly how the official is going to referee that team. The human element in basketball is crazy and how much they impact the game. Billy's dead on. There are so many betting trends for certain officials. Oh, you're going to want to take the road team here. There's a human element here. There's also like this guy favors this one team. There's absolute stats for that.

I'm sorry if you're being distracted by the automated voice in the background. Greg Cody, do you want to give a recounting? I don't know how much of this is going out on air. I've been sort of howling with laughter inside since Mike got to another octave of condescending

with the phrase, that I should remind you. Yeah. Like, once you get to that I should remind you, like, you're just lost in the smell of your own farts. No, dude. I mean, we're here having a conversation. Why would the NBA rig this? They rigged the finals one year. They rigged the finals one year. There's three banners up there. One of them was rigged. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Here is something we like to call reckless speculation. Are you good?

Nothing reckless about it. This is proven. This was documented. Do you not remember the NBA Finals in which Dwayne Wade got every call? All right, Bennett Salvatore made those calls. It wasn't Tim Donaghy. Come on, dude. Come on, what? It was proven to be rigged. What are we doing? Judge Aslow? Rigged or not rigged, 2006. Yes.

Not rigged. Legit championship. Not rigged. He rules with bias. With prejudice. With prejudice. With prejudice.

There will be order in this court. All right. All right. All right. Listen to me. Bailiff, take that man out. Judge and journalist, real quick, Zaslow, any other heat reporting that you have for us? Just to be clear, is Zaslow reporting? Yep. I am. Greg. Greg. No. I believe it would be news. School's in session here, Greg. I believe it would be news. And I believe that Zaslow has good sources. Did you just report...

Because Billy is skeptical of all these bullshit reports. Did Zaslow, with his credibility at stake, just report that Anthony Davis and Giannis have expressed whatever it is that needs to be expressed so that the Miami Heat could get a whiff of that wonderful scent of joining the Hope Parade? Listen, I am a respected journalist. I do have sources. And from what I know, and what I've been told from some of those sources, Giannis...

and Anthony Davis are both potentially interested in the Miami Heat. Okay, so see, that's news. But how do you get them?

Okay, see, that's where someone who went to journalism school knows, and you wouldn't. I would go to prison before I released my sources. No, no, not the sources. How do you get both of those players? That's a good question. Completely different question. That becomes more complicated. I'd rather go to prison and figure that out. A lot easier for me to answer what I thought I was answering.

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Don Levatard. John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way if I do it for you? I think it's pretty good. Yeah. Stugatz. You think you're big time? Or you're gonna die! Big time!

- That is on my infamous scale of one to 10. That's a 7.6. - Solid. - Good job, Devin. - Good job, Devin. - That's a suey nominee right there. - This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stugats.

I want to go back to that I should remind you. Chris, can I get a ruling on this? And I have to backtrack for just a second. Greg Cody owes the public an apology and I owe the public an apology because I made a prediction...

I guess last week that the producers of this show are now wanting to embarrass me about because I'm woke. Treat the athletes as if they're human guy and and don't make sports so important and your hate so important that you would dehumanize the athlete.

This is sound of me. I don't know what the sound is that the producers are telling me is meant to embarrass me. That was my only sort of before this series started. Dan's going to give you a prediction and it's going to be the most right prediction that there is, but it's not entirely objective. It seems a bit biased. And the way I feel about both the Knicks and the Celtics fan base make it so that this game, I want the meteor to win. I want both teams to explode, both teams to lose, both teams to get injured.

Woof. Wow. Not a good look for you. No, that's embarrassing. Big three lap? Meteor. So the meteor is going to hit the arena and just demolish it. And then thousands of people are killed. Innocent bystanders, yeah.

No, I wouldn't want innocent bystanders. It's just a meteor hits the court and they can no longer play. Both sides lose forever. If you had to choose one arena, though, to get hit by a meteor, would it be a home game or a road game? I don't think this is responsible. Your words, not ours. I'm a journalist. I'm just pushing. You're not a journalist. I'm glad you brought that up. You would not go to prison to protect your sources. If a judge came up to you and said, Mr. Zaslow,

20 years or give me your sources you'd go to prison for 20 years well as you know I'm also a judge and I would never I would never put myself in that scenario yeah okay sure not corrupt at all just like the NBA on the up and up you're a judge you can do whatever you want above the law no no no yeah no that's what you're saying that's fine that's fine that's fine to be clear that I should remind you you would be a vending machine for sex in prison who would want to have sex with him

Respectfully. I mean, oh, okay. Well, now I feel better. Yeah. No offense. Respectfully. People that want to have sex. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Who would want to have sex with Zaslow? That seems like a cutting remark from the- You left out respectfully, which is very important. Zaslow. There was respectfully there that you left off of that poll. Look at this punim. This punim would not do well in prison. I would be holding someone's pocket.

That issue where I'm blonde wig. Yet, I would never reveal my sources who told me that Giannis and Anthony Davis are both interested in the Miami Heat. Look, he's reporting this strongly. Don't make fun of it. Like, Zaz has better sources than anybody except maybe Mike in college football and Billy at FIU.

He's got better sources than Cody. But you guys are the real journalists. This is a problem. Can I say something? I'm over here on this side of the room. Your finger pointed there. I'm right. Okay, this is nothing against that. The corner bank shot. But when it's been reported that Giannis is open to everything...

The report that Giannis would consider Miami, not really big news when it's already been reported that Giannis will consider every credible offer. Shame on you for piecing that one together. Wow.

I would say that it's easy for Giannis' people. I don't know what Giannis' people tell Shams. He's the best. He's the top guy. But it's really easy to say and make sure that everyone is not offended at this scenario. Giannis is open to everything, which also includes returning to Milwaukee. I'm telling you that specifically the Miami Heat have been mentioned by Giannis' people. But can I ask you guys, because I do want to. This is a report. He's reporting this. Put it on the crawl.

Can you guys put it on the crawl, please? Like, Cody. Do you know any other team names that they've invoked? Or do you just know that they've... Every other one. I'm only plugging for heat. Well, but wait a minute, though. Greg, you can make fun of it, but the Anthony Davis component... Look, I don't know who you guys think are the dominoes falling on the finances of the game.

But if they're, let's just say for the points of this argument, let's just say that the Miami Heat would want to be in play for, I'm going to say, between five or seven players, the last of whom at this point is Kevin Durant. Like, if you want to try to get John Morant or whatever it is that the machinations have to be, is that guy unhappy? And...

After LeBron still seeks this attention, how quick are the attention pans in every city where Giannis is already, okay, time's up, Milwaukee. You didn't do it with Middleton. You didn't fix the things. It's over. He's the first domino. We all know this. But if the Heat wanted five other calls. They did do it with Middleton.

If the Heat wanted five calls from people, who would the people be? Embiid is on this list, yes. Oh my God, this is why people hate us. Why did the Heat only have to get one? Why not all five? There's five positions. They have Dick!

They have dick. And they get five of them. They have like a pair and it's not suited. Like, what is happening? Could I have the first pick? I'm just saying, what's to stop the Heat from getting Kevin Durant, Giannis...

Anthony Davis, LeBron, and then you just put someone else in there. Let me ask you something. I'm just telling you. I'm being serious. I'm just telling you. This is why us Knicks fans hate you guys. It's just ridiculous. You guys don't belong in the conversation. You have nothing to trade for. You're an afterthought. The ringer

took your knees out from under you. You're incapable of landing a superstar. I'm telling you, though, that they're not an afterthought. And the question that I would have to you is when Giannis' people tell the Miami Heat that they are interested, which is what I'm telling you...

Giannis' people know that the Heat, in your words, don't have dick. They know who's on the Heat's roster. They know the Heat's assets. Yet, they are still telling the Heat that Giannis is interested. So what do we do with that? Yeah, they're telling a bunch of teams that. And a lot of the teams that they're telling that...

have much better capital to make this deal happen. Maybe they're telling other teams that. I don't know. Maybe. No, no, no. They're talking to teams that have dick. Well, who's got the better sources in this particular realm? Because I think I'm going with Zaslos over Mike Ryan. We're having a dick-off. No, no, everybody stand back. Stand back. I'm not going against his report. That I should remind you.

I'm not going against his report. I don't doubt that this has happened. It's time for a dick off. Dallas' dick got a lot better last night. Yeah, they have a much bigger dick right now. But I thought the Heat had dick, in your words. No, they don't have dick. So is dick a good thing or a bad thing? Dick is a good thing. Or it can be bad. Especially if it's like a big old honking massive hammer. All right. And that's what Dallas has right now. They got a huge hammer. I mean, what are you doing? Like a...

They got a hammer like that guy that they would text you during COVID. For the audio audience. Hold on a second. No, Jesus Christ. No, no. No, look. That's not the show we're doing. Dick had a hole in one, right? Major asshole. Out. You get like a San Francisco Times link and you click it. And then all of a sudden, huge hammer. Out. Out. Out. Out. What's the matter with you? You know the guy that I'm talking about? Stop. Wow, Bill. Grow up.

I mean, wild Bill. Yeah, he's right. We're talking about Uncle Dick. Greg, what do you need to apologize to the audience for, for something that happened on the Greg Cody Show featuring Greg Cody? It was poor timing on my part. It was fantastic. No. Okay. My gripe of wrath this week was to rail against parents and coaches who turned their uniformed kids into

into money whores, if I'm being honest, to beggars who are outside a supermarket entrance begging money from people who walk in. I ran into that at the Panther game two days ago. Yeah, that's right. I don't like that, okay? I don't like that. But that was a very popular opinion because earlier in the show, I happened to mention that my wife and I had just been to a Michelin star restaurant at the Four Seasons and spent more money on

than I have ever spent in my entire life. He loves saying what he can say. So that juxtaposition of me having a very expensive dinner and then... What kind of dinner was it? It was, you know, it was one of those 9 or 12 course meals. Do you know what you were eating? Like, how wonderful was it? How many stars? You love telling people this, so what is the difference?

The genre of food you're eating. As you can imagine from a 12-course meal, it was all different things, including Wagyu beef. It was just my dad having such a blind spot for one minute, bragging about $375 per person, and then five minutes later, ripping these kids for asking him for a dollar outside of Publix. Oh my God, your father is disgusting.

No, but your father, in terms of entitlement, is one of the great white men I've ever seen. And then it was great. His logic on donating, he's like, if it's my kid's team, I'll donate. And I'm like, you realize with that logic, nobody would ever donate to any team. It's so great. It's so great. Your father is awful here, is a 70-year-old man who's about to— If it was my granddaughter, I'd give $5. You're panhandling. Here we go. Have a go.

car wash. Give me something for the transaction. If I'm giving you $10, wash my car. Well, don't they usually have candy they're selling you for? Zazz, I'm going to need you to stand back, sir. Stand down. No, I'm asking if they do. The Girl Scouts, if I give them $5, they give me a box of cookies. You know, since when do you just, could you give me money? And they all have a bucket or something. Okay, so they all have a bucket or something. Ladies and gentlemen,

These kids don't want to learn. They don't want to earn. They're looking for a handout. The best is my dad also falls on both sides. He's on both sides of the argument. He doesn't have cash, but he doesn't also do the, oh, Venmo, you have a barcode? I don't have that, and I don't have cash. No, I don't do any of that. You know what I've done? I've mastered the art of pretending to be on my phone. Oh, that's terrible. Oh.

Wait, can you show us how you do it? So Dan, go ask him for a dollar and see how Greg fakes it. Can we recreate this in another room, please? Because I'd like you all to experience, okay?

what an entitled classist my friend Greg Cody is, who has no problem telling you down his nose about the expensive wines he had that he doesn't understand and the gourmet spices that he had that cost hundreds of dollars. I've never spent so much on a meal.

It's crazy excess. Also, as I'm leaving, I fart and burp on the person asking me for a dollar as I leave the Michelin five-star restaurant. Who are you? It's obnoxious, arrogant, entitled Greg Cody. I raise my kids not to panhandle. Here, we can do it right here. Hey, hi, sir. I'm with the Sunrise football team. Can you donate to my team? Sorry, I'm on an important call. Oh, well...

Can you maybe on the way out? Yeah, the McGillicuddy file is in my upper drawer. You can't do it. Is that your go-to? Like, what's your go-to? I'm not really on the phone. Like, what do you say? You can't do that. The go-to is just because you only need to... You actually say McGillicuddy? No, the go-to is I'm walking into Publix right now. I'll probably be home in about 20 minutes. Do you need a carton of eggs?

Even though they're really expensive now? Okay. Yeah, I'll get you a couple of dozen eggs. I hope you actually put your phone up and not just use your hand. No, I use my hand. They're kids. They don't know any better. It's weird that people go to these fancy restaurants because a tire company told them to, right?

That's true. It is the Michelin tire company. It's the same company. It is. That's a weird thing. It's like, well, the tire company said I got to go here. It's so scandalous. You've got it exactly right. And by the way, a week after winning that Michelin star, this restaurant pretty much doubled their prices.

Wow. And we fell for it anyway. All right, so again, Greg dying to tell you this story. Dying to tell you that he dined better than the peasant man. I will say this in Greg's defense. There is a couple times where I'm on the street, I'm at the stoplight, and then I see a gentleman who is not of...

youth football age who's walking up to me and has got the helmet and I'm like, buddy, I don't think you play football, buddy. I don't know what you're doing with this. I don't like it. It's rife for scams, though. That's the one thing I will give you, Greg. Correct. And by the way, I wasn't dying to tell people how much money I spent on dinner. The internet just criticized you for your blind spot of, I had a rich dinner and I don't want to get $5. So what's the apology for

The apology is the timing of it was bad. The timing. I should have had better foresight. Not the message, though. Well, I don't think the message is bad. It's not an apology. And I don't think most people disagree with me. Chris, can we get the PR firm of McGillicuddy? And I don't think most people disagree with me. It's not just an apology. It's doubling down. Okay, parents. I'm talking to parents and coaches now of youth sports athletes.

Earn the money that you're asking for. Have a car wash, have a bake sale, sell lemonade out of an old timey stand on the sidewalk out front of your house. Do something to earn the money. Don't just teach your kids, which I never did, to go out to total strangers with your hat in your hand and say, could you please give me money, sir? Why do you think your son has a career in this business?

You gave him to me, and that's been you panhandling for 20 years. I think that's apples and oranges. It's exactly the same thing. You think your son is qualified for the job he's presently in? Of course he is. You think he's the best person in all of America to run this, one of the great sports shows of all time? Yeah, well, that's a little bit of an exaggeration. No, no. He's right here. He can hear you. You're the one who hired him, so he must be qualified. Your son has a job because he's been, he's corporate nepotism welfare. Okay. Who hired him?

You did. No, you did. By being my friend, we put him in a job he's totally unqualified for. This ends up on your kid. He's right here. I'm right here. Double nepotism. It's a you thing. Double nepotism. You take care of Greg because he's your friend, and then you take care of Greg's son because Greg's your friend. And what of it? And Grayson's starting her internship next week. Why are you putting this on other people?

It's what we've built. It's Greg Cody's entitlement saying, hey, you know how good I am at this thing? And this is what drives Zaslow crazy. You guys don't understand. You really don't. What a wonderful gig we've had. Zaslow is fundamentally offended.

by how your father treats this job as if he's such a stellar talent that he should be allowed to dine in all the best restaurants and tell the panhandler I'm too big for you so that he can do what Bert Kreischer and his buddy on Two Bears can do when they're breaking away from their audience because they refer to their audience as the poors. Let me tell you something, Levitard, because you're always taking all credit for everything.

I earn my money, and approximately half of 1% of the money I earn comes from the Levitard show and me doing this show, okay? And that's a fact. Granted, most of the money is made by my wife.

But still. That's a fact, Jack. Well, you know, that kind of thing. But he's emotional. And you know it. When you get emotional, you forget your catchphrases. Okay. I don't forget them. I just like to parse them. You know, I like to separate them. Zaslo, I love him and his son. But Zaslo, you've been fascinated by this particular tree in our environment for a long time. I think...

Yeah, I think you guys are lucky. I think you get in here and you're fiddling around with your microphone and you're showing up late. It'd be like if I wrote a column in crayon. What time did you get here yesterday? 8.59. Okay, I was here. Time to show start. I was here at 8.25. Oh. Oh, it's not just a dick off. It's a punctual off.

I am punctual, okay? And I don't rattle my microphone. I'm prepared. I have topics. I'm a professional. You do rattle your microphone. No, I don't. When he's asked to by his son. And then his son starts playing sounds trying to convince him they're coming from his computer. Yeah, your computer was beeping last week. Yeah, and that was a fake, and I exposed it as a fake. Yeah.

That's journalism right there. Yes, thank you. Investigative journalism. Billy knows. Yeah. Hell yeah, Dad. I'm Craig. For those of you who are looking inside, this thing needs to keep churning, baby. DraftKings needs us to pump it out, and we are pumping it out. Whether alarms are going off and whether the building's on fire, we're going to keep it moving. But I want you to know that this particular fire is real.

The connection between Greg Cody and Chris Cody, lest it felt disrespectful what it is I was just doing and saying around my friends who I love, and Greg can get prickly about this stuff, I realize is one of the most valuable things Metal Ark Media has because the people who ride with us most firmly know that this show rode in protection of love and friendship so that Chris Cody could be in an executive producer job in which he's totally overwhelmed.

Overmatched! It's too big a job. Mike Ryan just wants to watch it from the corner. He doesn't even want to do it anymore. Nobody wants to executive produce the monster. Levitardi's out of control. He's sermonizing. Slow him down. He's going crazy. Why would he go crazy? It's not like America's going to shit or anything. How's your ankle? That legitimately... Here, Tony, I wasn't acting. You know that my ankle gave there. It was the shoes, I think. Low-cut shoes. I thought it was your Achilles.

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