The Big Suey: What Are You, a Child? (feat. Jessica Smetana)
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Welcome to the Big Sui, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Levitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching band to nowhere, Fat Face and the Habitual Liars.

This episode is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours. I probably have been a bit negligent in not talking more because we spent four hours talking about it last night, sort of, kind of. But the Pacers are up 2-1. They've only led for 11% of the time in the series, like 20 minutes.

They'd be the first champions in NBA history that weren't a top three seed or the defending champs. The Thunder had 16 assists, 19 turnovers. This is a historically great team. Assists to turnover. And that's their worst of the season.

It's the second time all year they have failed to have more assists than turnovers in a game. And that was done to them, by the way. That's Indiana defense. I don't know what we were talking about all season, but it wasn't, hey, what are Nembhardt and Neesmith going to do to the MVP when he needs to be bothered a little bit? And you have perimeter defense that is like, oh, we weren't talking about that much at all. We were saying Lou Dort does that stuff, but we weren't talking about Indiana's perimeter players that aren't Halliburton bothering the whole

holy hell, out of the MVP of the league who can go 30 points every time, no problem, until, oh, these guys bother everyone. These guys, these perimeter defenders bother all players of all sizes. The Thunder made one field goal in the last five minutes and 57 seconds of that game. And it wasn't like they were missing good shots. This is a complete, like, this is a false narrative that Indiana was some finesse team. The defense they play is, like, absolutely on par with the Thunder defense, which is...

Historic by every metric. Well, and what's crazy about that is it's in large part because they haven't let Oklahoma City force turnovers themselves and get out on the run to be able to get their offense going. So you're defending them in the half court, late in games and close games. That's not a situation that Oklahoma City...

I was startled and I don't know how sports shocks come to you, but I

I was startled by OKC being manhandled physically. I just wasn't expecting to see that. It's not something I've seen a lot of this season. And those, I mean, Nembhard looks small to me.

It doesn't seem to me that Nembhard should be that kind of perimeter defender. He doesn't look to me like Dort. He doesn't look to me like Nismith. Well, you know, NBA casual over here that doesn't watch a regular season. Rick Carlisle changed his defense. The swarming double teams, the traps. I thought this guy was his own guy. I mean, the way that this defense swarmed ball handlers for OKC, it seems like OKC was

wholly unprepared for it last night and no ball movement because it's like what is this we're we're up that they're using the out of bounds to to force turnovers and to get okc out of their game it's been very effective and you got to wonder if they have an answer for it we spent a lot of time last night uh during the pacers game talking about the knicks sam morrell was boycotting the pacers games and uh

Mero was saying that they think that the Pistons, the Knicks think the Pistons are the best team they face. Didn't they say the Magic too? They were saying some crazy shit. I appreciate it. The hatin' ass haters. Okay. So the Pacers are in the championship round, but we spent some time talking about the Knicks and the Knicks have a genuine mess in their coaching search. Like it is a public apocalypse. Yeah.

- This story, the vibes of that team going from the happiest bing bongs to the saddest bing bongs, this is about as quick as I've ever seen a flip. You have articles coming out 45 minutes after they get eliminated,

eviscerating Townsend Thibodeau. Thibodeau gets fired. Sam Emiko reports that people are actually now mad at Rick Brunson. And they have reached out to five coaches. None of them have even gotten permission to talk to them. Quinn Snyder, Ime Udoka, Billy Donovan, Chris Finch, and Jason Kidd. I feel like we're careening towards something where Chris Paul is the coach of the Knicks.

which is a legitimate thing that people are starting to banter about. All right, well, we bring in our favorite New York correspondent now to talk about this and other things. And by the way, don't let me get out of here today without sort of annoying Jessica with Mike going back to what Jeremy's atrocious heat take was, because I don't want to leave that unargued. I'd like Jessica to hear whatever final thoughts you guys have on the heat season here, because I know she misses that.

But welcome into Knicks talk, Jessica. What kind of suffering is it right now in New York to be a Knicks fan? Well, first I want to say the Pacers need better branding on their defense. If we had something like the Dorcher Chamber for the Pacers, I think we would be giving them more respect.

Second, I feel like this validates my we'll see take last week, I should say, of the Knicks firing Tibbs because if it was we'll see, we don't have a next guy up, then ooh, maybe that wasn't the best choice and this seems like James Dolan meddling.

How about that one? What she's saying right there like that? There's no conclusion to be drawn here other than, hey, look, the Knicks were well managed for a while there. And then they botched this one. They botched this one because the owner came in, swooped in, and there wasn't a plan. It's just get rid of this guy, the best guy we've had since Pat Riley. I wish Stu Gatz was here so we could be like, hey, so what happened to that Danny Hurley take last week? Haven't

I haven't seen his name in this yet. Oh, he's going to pop up. His agent's going to come around trying to get him a raise. At this point, maybe. Yeah, this is a wonderful... Who, Stu or Dan Hurley? Both. But this is a perfect opportunity for Dan Hurley to pop up. Like, okay, looks like you got a mess over there. Here's a big sexy name. Let me get a raise over at UConn because I don't want to actually leave. Chris Paul Charlie? Yeah. That's inspired. Yeah.

I think he'd get higher. It's the only sport that I think where that feels like something. I guess baseball maybe also, but it doesn't feel as outrageous. Like a guy walking off of the football field right into a head coaching job feels like insanity to me. No, it does. No, wait a minute. I guess basketball had player coaches. No, so help. You guys are all going to have to help me with this one because no, Chris Paul is not qualified for that job. No.

I understand that we're doing this differently now. Hold on. You're sounding a lot like somebody else I know. The fake Dan? Charlie's fake Dan? Because I was like, once he said, help me out with this one, I'm like, okay, write that one down. He does that a lot. You guys can't do it. The vibes were really off in that first segment. It was weird, okay? We need to reset the vibes. I'm here to reset the vibes. Thank you for agreeing with me. It started out, no, you're 100% the reason why the vibes were so bad. Yeah.

You are so mean to Roy. And if I were there, I would grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Because that was uncalled for. Roy is welcome to vote in whatever professional hockey association he's part of. He doesn't have to write for an outlet full time. Don't give Roy a participation trophy. You're jealous.

Burned, not given. Burned, not given. Jessica, I'm glad you brought this back. I had a question I wanted to ask Mike that I didn't get a chance to ask earlier because we got off of it. But Roy can be in a writer's association because he wrote one column. Can you be a golden cane if you ain't never caned one cane? Oh, no. I don't even understand. Oh, he's coming to your most sensitive spot. You like it, Jess? You like the question? And also, you changed history because you became a writer before you actually wrote history.

Which was a proper question to ask. But he did write tweets. We all agree on that. Well, then I'm a writer, too. Okay, cool. Well, apply. I'm a writer. You're a writer. You get a writer. You get a writer. You get a writer. Can I add something to this? No, no, no, no. Not yet, Roy. I'm sorry. We are not going to let Mike get away without speaking for his caning. Okay, okay. I'm just saying I covered the team since 2016 as a credentialed media member. Right.

You heard it? You heard it? Roy, you got it. He wasn't writing. He wasn't writing. He wasn't writing. I'll teach you this trick. You just got to hit a rap ad lib after you dunk on somebody. Hey, don't speak for Roy. Okay? How about you don't speak for Roy? How about you don't speak for Roy? So next time, I've been covering this. When I was a member of the Screen Actors Guild, when I was a member of SAG, okay?

I didn't start acting after I got the membership. I had to act a little bit. We still ain't talking about this. And then became a screen actor. We still have not addressed. I feel like Mike's helping. We still have not addressed. Jessica, I'm going to have to side with Jessica on this. Yeah, no shit. You took Roy's ability to vote. We all saw it. We all saw what happened. Everyone here is taking a really difficult stance. I really appreciate it. You guys are great. Jessica, I miss you.

This is the first day that I don't. All right. So, Jessica, can you make a ruling on Roy's clean-shaven face during the playoffs, wherever impartiality resides, wherever it is that hygiene exists? Roy is against superstition. He is doing something that is as sacrilegious as touching the cup the way that Edmonton did before this series. He has shaved his playoff beard during the playoffs and during a historic

Panther run, what do you make of the idea that Roy has blasphemed against all superstition? I mean, I think Roy can do whatever Roy wants to do. And you all need to stop telling Roy what he can and cannot do, because I don't like the way that this is coming off right now. Roy is a grown ass man. And if he gets allowed to vote in some pro hockey writers association organization, he should do that. And everyone should keep their opinion.

Mike clearly doesn't think you should vote at all. Yeah. Always keeping me on my heels, Jess. Appreciate that. And while I'm pissed off, give me your stupid thing, Jeremy. What is your heat thing?

Oh, his take that pissed us off? We had to remind him of it because he got caught up in the air. Remember when he got jealous of the Panthers and said we all jumped ship? Well, you did. We didn't jump ship when things got hard. Yeah, the moment things got hard, it was, oh, we're only Panthers fans. We're going to throw all of our energy into this. We're not going to watch regular season basketball. You know what I mean? The franchises failed them. We're so bad.

I'm a little worried about everything over here in this. OK, the vibes are still bad, Dan. Well, help me with this. So I need culture change around here. I asked Dominique for help with it at the moment. What I don't need to happen is for Jeremy and Mike to scream at each other about the heat because Mike's upset about being called a racist who didn't want Roy to vote in the first hour. No, I'm cool with that.

I'm going to have to get Jesse up in here, man. We're going to march on him. But you did look at Jeremy and all of that hostility and you said, you're atrocious, he'd take. And when I looked at Jeremy... Which one? Yes, this is what... The delight that swept over me as I looked at Jeremy there and I saw in his face, thanks, that

That could be any number of things. It's everything I've said to him for two and a half years. Going through the Rolodex. The best part was Jeremy was like, which one of my awful tanks? And so Jessica, for four years, was stuck between whatever that is for two and a half years. I was still right about the power of friendship thing. That's what the Pacers said worked for them. Okay.

But it didn't work for the Heat. And your take was that the power of friendship was going to spur the Miami Heat to, I don't know, the playoffs or something. But then Jimmy Butler happened. Yeah, I said before the season that Jimmy Butler was in a good place. That's on me. Well, what is his atrocious Heat take, Mike? Because you just screamed at each other. He was like reveling in the Panthers running into a...

a difficult time because we all jump ship and quit on the Miami Heat. Let me get one thing perfectly straight here. I've been keeping it real about the Miami Heat just because I've been keeping it real about the Miami Heat and they decided to acquire Terry Rozier doesn't mean I quit on them. They quit on me. They quit on culture. They quit on everything that they put on the inside of that paint on that court. They had a superstar take their franchise hostage and Pat Riley

the age of Joe Biden make things worse and diminish an asset when his job is to increase the value of that asset and maximize the return. The defense, Resh, show me your papers. So yeah, this is kind of what I was talking about. No, no, that's not... Old-ass Joe Biden not looking so bad right now either, huh? Okay.

All right. All right. Let's I you guys with this ageism. I want to go back to last night, a couple of clips from last night, because my father was translating reggaeton lyrics. And I just want to go to this very quickly, because I believe that if my father showed up at a soccer game this weekend in Miami, he would be asked to show his papers.

because he doesn't necessarily look like he's from this country, and he doesn't sound like he's from this country. And while we're joking about show me your papers, like, this is a legitimate thing, right? But he's an American. He's got nothing to worry about. They got that express lane for people that are just American. But we're going to now just racially profile with state militia outside of soccer game, right? We're warning people that that is what's headed to sports here. As we try to keep politics out of games, it's going to be, hey—

The same stadium where you've seen the video of brown people climbing through the stadium architecture and tunnels in the roofs and air conditioning. You know who's actually happy about this is the Hard Rock Stadium security detail.

They're like, OK, anything goes sideways here. It's on the administration, Homeland Security and ICE. That overhead visual of seeing people being separated into lines as they march through armed security guards is going to be something to behold. This is not your country. And a lot of people that are happy about what's going on that voted for it.

it's going to turn once someone asks them for their papers and makes their relationship with sports wholly different than it's ever been before. Let's laugh at my father, shall we? Te suelto el pelo. I will let your hair loose. Te quito la camisa. I will take off your shirt off. Tus pantalones. Oh, you're also your panties. Ha ha ha!

No, it's not the panties. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's incorrect. That is not correct. No. It's a two for one there, Dano. Come on, it's a two for one. No. I don't, really don't understand. They were slacks. They were slacks. I'll take off your slacks. I'll take off his slacks. That is my 80, that is the age of Joe Biden and he turned pantalones, clearly the word for pants in Spanish, into panties for some reason. Tomato, tomato. Tomato.

It's not the same thing. Tomato, potato. But it feels like ageism to me to be doing what you just did, the age of Joe Biden. You want to apologize for that? He's older. He's older. And he's doing things that feel like they're from a bygone era. And a lot of people say Pat Riley has the game passed him by. I'm not in that camp. But I would say what happened with Jimmy Butler is a pretty solid example if you wanted to make that argument. Tell me what I'm telling a lie. Jeremy, your atrocious take.

You want to defend any of the others? No. You just seem defeated. I don't. Okay. I don't. I mean, as much as I want to have this spark with Mike and feud over these things, at this point, I'm in my 30s.

I don't need this anymore. Not that type of smoke. It's okay. We can agree to disagree. I got caught up in the air, and I apologize for saying that I was enjoying watching the Florida Panthers struggle a bit because you know what? I love the team from Broward County that actually represents my county, and it's beautiful to have a team like that have success. That's mighty big of you. I love it when someone admits defeat.

Thank you. Don Levitard. I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life. Stugatz. Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God. May his soul rest in peace. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stugatz. Stugatz.

Jessica, I was wondering if you could get us caught up, please, because I don't have enough expertise in everything that's happening in the business of NIL and where it is that leaders in that sport are stumbling around trying to make rules as we go, create a system as we go. The NCAA house settlement, uh,

Can you walk me through some of the particulars here of what we're headed toward? Because I think you, Lucy, and Mike have done a good job sort of exploring the business of this, which has confounded me as it's changed over the last five years.

Yeah, so this is the settlement that has been expected to come down through the courts for like the last year. So it's the $20 million that schools are not going to be able to pay players directly.

through the athletic departments. And I'm glad you brought up the golden canes, Dominique, because one of the things that I've been thinking now that this house settlement has finally come through. So one of the aspects of this is, you know, all the back pay, that's sort of what the settlement's for. It's like $2.8 billion for former athletes. And then the framework's being set up for the future.

And how these payments are going to be split. One of the things is that they're setting up this, you know, NIL clearinghouse. NIL Go is going to be the name of the software. And I guess Deloitte is overseeing the...

approval of NIL deals now because what the schools don't want, so they claim, is these NIL collectives to essentially be paying for play, which is what's been happening over the last three years. And obviously there's like a lot of gray area between what's pay for play and what is, you know, a player's market value once they

go to a school and become a famous person on that campus or in that community, et cetera. So this NIL clearinghouse will be dictating deals over $600, whether or not they'll pass. And so my question through all this, one, the big question is like, what does this mean for Title IX? And that hasn't really been

addressed yet. That'll probably come through lawsuits that I assume will be filed in the future. But the second thing is like, if now there's this clearinghouse for big NIL deals, why not just pay players under the table again? Why not just bring back the bag men? Why wouldn't I just Venmo or Zelle Jeremiah Love 50 grand and not even pretend to do the like legitimize NIL collective thing anymore? Like I,

I don't really see why cheating isn't all the way back now, but I guess, Mike, as a golden cane, you can probably tell us a little bit about maybe some of your fears of enforcement, because there is going to be this college sports commission that is allegedly going to be investigating these things. It just seems like, I don't know, it seems like this hasn't been tested yet. So if I'm a college football program, I'm probably going to be like,

don't you know here's nil money or i'm not even going to say like what this payment's for just like accept this payment and you're on our team now well the good news is is that people in charge in in terms of enforcing this are going to be the sec and the big 10 so we can we can trust them and their judgment the ncaa has got a pretty sweet deal lose all the cases in court never win one get full autonomy and don't even actually have to enforce your rules just sit back

and get the revenue all while this is passed through the Senate and you're granted full autonomy so no one can actually challenge you in courts and despite this being illegal, when has that mattered right now over the last few months? So they're gonna get their way. Donald Trump was seen golfing with Notre Dame's athletic director, which I'm curious what his angle was on it, and Greg Sankey,

Obviously, we know what he's been pushing for. So it'll be curious. I don't know if it's going to be around for long. I think this is all headed towards Super League. And unfortunately, the only way that you get any kind of fairness here would be through something that's collectively bargained. There isn't a union for student-athletes. And look at how difficult it is for the NFL to keep a work stoppage because you have guys coming in making less money than everybody else. You don't have generational wealth for college athletes.

If you decide to threaten the season for revenue generators, you've got zero money now. People will cave and crack. And you don't just worry about the football players or the basketball players. You've got golfers. You've got rowers. So the NCAA was very smart in getting a former politician to just

politic his way to a dub when they've been handed L after L after L. Hopefully, college football gets siloed off. I think we're headed towards private equity anyways. And then you could probably have a real collective bargaining agreement, at least with football players. All right. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Are you excited that college football is headed toward private equity? They've been. Dude, private equity firms have been talking to these programs for like five years. It's just, I mean, come on.

Come on. Yes, okay, but it's just funny to see it that professionalized where, oh, look, there's so much money and no rules. Let's go feed. Let's go feed there. Like, it's not funny, but it is. You mentioned Trump. Wasn't he at a play recently near you, Jessica? A play? Shame on you. He was at Les Mis, Dan, and I just—

I mean, I don't want to make light of anything that this administration is doing because it's horrifying. But he was asked at the Kennedy Center if he was more of a Javert or a Valjean. And Donald Trump was like, oh, that's a good question. I don't know. And he didn't answer because he claims that he's seen Les Mis before, but he obviously hasn't because it's the easiest question in the world. I guess if you're like someone who actually still is pretending to be a good guy, because Javert is like the...

obsessed with this idea of like absolute justice. And he's this sadistic police inspector who's hell bent on bringing Valjean back to prison for violating his parole, even though all Valjean did was steal a loaf of bread, Dan, for his starving family.

sister and her children and then served 20 years in prison and then went on to change his identity and live a life where he's seeking forgiveness and redemption through helping this young girl, Cosette, raising her after her mother, Fantine, died after Valjean as the mayor of the town.

accidentally allowed her to be fired from her job by the horrible foreman. I mean, it's not a difficult question, right? It's not difficult who you want to at least pretend like you are if you're a Valjean or a Javert. That shouldn't be hard to answer.

I've never seen it before. That was riveting. Thank you. You don't have to anymore. I was backpedaling ever since her, you know, what felt like rage to me on me merely saying that was a play. Like, I felt like I defended her. Dan, it's Les Mis. It's like one of the most famous...

musicals of all time, which, by the way, is based on the Victor Hugo novel about not the French Revolution, which is a common misconception. It's actually about the Paris uprising in 1838, which was a group of people who working class people who were upset with the monarchy and upset with inequality and injustice. And the

I mean, not the titular song, but like the crescendoing song of the musical, which is reprised at the end is do you hear the people sing? And our president watched that last night out here taking notes. Do you think he watched or did he just stare off into the distance waiting for someone to mention his name?

That was probably it. Jess, I do have a question about Formula One because I got very offended at something that is being bandied about with Formula One. And I hope I have buy-in from you. The IndyCar series has basically one race a year that everybody pays attention to. It is America's race. It is the Indy 500. And I love how Formula One approached it recently, where you have Monaco in the morning, the Indy 500 gets the biggest window in the afternoon, and then NASCAR can have theirs at night.

But now the new calendar says they're going to have the Canadian Grand Prix the same weekend as the Indy 500. And correct me if I'm wrong, perhaps the same day even. So why would they do this? This is...

dumb and they are not top dog in this country. I understand globally they are forced, but the TV ratings for Formula One compared to what the Indy 500 pulls in are relatively putrid. Why would they do this? This seems like a huge mistake on their part. Yeah, I think the reason is traveling because they're

uh, F1 goes from Miami to Monaco and then back to North America for Canada. Uh, I, I believe. So I think this was just because they are trying to cut down on like so many transatlantic flights. I, I don't know, Mike. I mean, the other reason could be that like a lot of, uh,

you know, motorsport media have to choose between covering like international media have to choose between covering Indy 500 or Monaco, which is like the crown jewel of the F1 calendar, even though it's not the most important race from a racing perspective. But I don't know. I mean, the long story short is like the F1 calendar just keeps getting longer and they keep expanding to different continents and different parts of the world. And so the travel is extremely grueling. So I assume making a calendar that works for all the teams and is, you know,

at least a little bit cost efficient is probably top of mind, but also they want to keep doing more raises to make more money. So I don't think it's the biggest concern. It is a track that has been covered in snow before in May as well. So that's also something to consider. Mike, you were so much more reasonable saying this to Jessica than you were the last time you delivered this opinion where you were threatening F1 and you were saying tread lightly F1. Yes. How dare you? That was a great clip yesterday.

Well, but you were enraged. Rehash it? Well, you know, I'm not asking you to rehash it, but you just presented this much more reasonably to Jessica than you did yesterday when you were ranting and railing all over the place. Turned over a new leaf. I think he's a little sheepish because I called him out for calling out Roy, and now he's, you know. No one likes your trash-ass sport, all right? It's fourth in ratings, all right? You don't even match the Xfinity series. In fact, you've been outrated by the Craftsman Truck Series all year.

semi-regularly, all right? Stay out of North America, Jacques. I'm not offended. And I'm Valjean, by the way. If I had to be Valjean or Javert, obviously. I was just doing a French-Canadian version of Jack because I did Jack twice in the clip. I'm like, I should have done Jacques. It would have been funnier, but you also unhinged yelled, you called one of the tournaments the Cousin Bleeper 500 or whatever you did because you were just crazed. You were insane. Great clip, yes. I don't...

Take notes. He's trying to make me do it again. No, I'm not. I don't know. I'm not trying to get you to do it again. I don't have any interest in seeing him anymore. This hockey creature at the end of a finals run of three years of obnoxious when he cares about him more than the heat and he's just running on a flume of adrenaline and cocaine and however good it feels to go straight from. And Jeremy, you make fun of the... You could have stopped at adrenaline. No. I've never done cocaine. No, but...

The cocaine of South Florida sports the last five years, seven years, where you can just jump from the heat over the Panthers and escape all the flames from the heat. Leave Jeremy in your wake charred. Three years ago, they were both eight seeds in the final. I was managing both. All right? I did.

They left. I would have been there if they were there. They drew first blood. They brought in Terry Rozier. That's how fandom works. I stuck to my guns. I said, you acquired Terry Rozier. I'm out. Have I been back? Nope. On the list of metaphors, is it okay to say someone is... Because essentially you tried to say that you were accusing Mike of being on metaphorical cocaine. I feel like...

If you're going to metaphorical something, you can't coke, my man. No. You got to like. I don't do cocaine. I've never done it. Now, if it were in an edible form, perhaps I would. Yeah. That's a big hurdle. Like sniffing something is enormous. Like injecting and sniffing, huge drug hurdles. Put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Would you more readily do edible cocaine? Oh, God. We could probably leave that one off.

Can I ask a food question to the group? Yes, of course. So people send me recipes all the time because they know that I like to bake and someone sent me one of the most offensive things that I've ever seen probably in my life the other day and

I'll say this. It was a food in popsicle form. And I think probably one of the worst foods you could put in popsicle form. And I am struggling to think of another food that would be worse as a popsicle. Really? That is a cold food. Should we guess? Yeah, you can guess. But like tripe? Any hot food that I don't think counts. Balsamica.

No, like hot food doesn't make sense. It's something that you would eat cold that you would make into a popsicles. Obviously, like baked beans, popsicles. Yeah, that's disgusting. Like we all agree. But no, it's a cold food that's like in popsicle form for a cookout. Someone sent this to me. OK, so let's discuss this and another thing, because I need to get a verdict from you on a couple of things. Gazpacho, is that a soup? Is it? Yes, I love gazpacho. It's delicious. OK, so OK, so is it a soup?

is the question. Let's see if it's in my soup book. Okay. Oh, wow. She's a prop comic. Steve Martin also. So, wait a minute. So, you have a soup book. Sweeney Todd Playbill in the soup book. Wow. The shave of the face. The trim of the beard.

That's like Roy. I can't believe you can't go clean shave it. You can't shave out a face during the Stanley Cup final. I bet Roy did it and then was like, shit. And now he's just doubling down. That's Roy.

Top five soups, top five plays. No, I don't want top five soups. I just, I thought, I thought I was in the majority and I thought the voting came back to endorse me and support me. A soup has to be warm. What are you, a child? Yeah.

What do you mean a soup has to be warm? A soup, when I think of soup, it is something that has to be consumed warm. And I don't think I'm in the minority in having that opinion. Ooh, what about this basil vichyssoise? An olive popsicle would be pretty terrible. Ooh, that's gross. But what if it's like a dirty martini popsicle? That would be delicious. But you can't freeze vodka, so that wouldn't work. Your choices have been very poor so far. The olive and the lasagna. I chose tripe, a fish.

I see you, minestrona. It can't be something warm. It has to be cold. Deli meat? I think. Gazpacho popsicle actually would be kind of good as I think about it. No. I kind of think I'm realizing. I feel you, broccolina. Deli meat's a good one, actually, Jeremy. Some cold cut turkey popsicle? Your best comment of the day. I'm realizing. Okay, I'll just tell you guys what it was. It was coleslaw. It was a coleslaw popsicle. Oh.

Cabbage and mayonnaise. Yeah, that's unpleasant. Should I make it? Yeah, you gotta make it.

Do you want any part of it? I was asking people the other day, I don't know whether you would want the challenge of this because baking isn't the same, but I'd like Greg Cody to lose another one of these. He's lost all of his challenges, all of his cook-offs, but I believe he might be able to win one with this sausage and lentil soup of his. Does anyone around here want to challenge him? Roy, I thought you might be interested. He's done nothing but lose these food competitions. Does anyone want any part of this? I'll challenge his soup. I can make a good soup. Yep.

You're going to challenge him. That was very dismissive. Show me your papers? It also feels like Dan is asking Gazpacho, show him his papers. It kind of feels like you want Gazpacho out of the soup society. Never mind.

I don't want to partake in your little soup thing. That was yes anding. You? Why? That reaction you had to Mike was odd. You don't think I make a soup, pal? I didn't think. Look, Greg Cody's sausage and lentil soup is well made by somebody who does have cooking ability.

He's lost all his cooking challenges, but I believe he cooks this better than anyone. And you've never once mentioned to anyone I can remember that you like cooking. If you follow me on social media, I'm the king of soup. I don't follow you on social media. He's big on soups. I'm a big soup. He's big on soups. Also, I found the chilled soup section of the soup book for you.

Finally, I thought it would be in the front. Give us all the chilled soups. Let's prove Dan wrong. Okay, so the first one that I see here is gazpacho with parsley oil. Sounds delicious. Chilled avocado soup with crab. Chilled mango and coconut curry soup. Dan, do you want me to name the soups or not? Okay, you keep interrupting. Chilled saffron and almond soup. Ooh, interesting.

What else do we have here? These all sound refreshing. Curried yogurt soup. That sounds delicious. A cold soup that's not refreshing would be odd. That's true. Can we name one of those? Cold and spicy. Chilled pea soup. Golden gazpacho. Sounds delicious. Chilled strawberry and tomato gazpacho. Jess, you got to lay out in between these. Let's get in here a little commentary.

Red bell pepper soup with sambuca cream. You didn't get in there. She left your window to get in there. You're doing jump rope, Dominique. Jump in. Don't tell someone to double dutch. Just let them double dutch. We covered this yesterday. Double dutch bus. Vichyssoise. Jessica, nice seeing you. Chilled watermelon and cherry soup. I think I could be convinced on that coleslaw popsicle.

Is that Tony Romo? How is that? I mean, coleslaw is gold usually. It being in a popsicle doesn't shock me all that much. You got to go something that is predominantly hot to shock me. Strawberry consomme.

Baby. Thank you. Excellent dismount. We will talk to you soon. I hope not. Thanks, guys, again for your help. Appreciate it. You're welcome. The chilled pea soup segment. Doesn't sound refreshing, actually. No, see, I wouldn't have that. And this is the breaking point for me on this because you guys are making me the weirdo because I'm saying I believe the majority think of soup as being a warm thing.

Yes, but it doesn't mean they cease being soup. I understand that. And Greg Cody trapped me masterfully like a chess master the other day. So he's like, is split pea a soup? And I'm like, yes, of course. And he's like, what if I take it out of the fridge? Is it still a soup? If I put it on the table, is it still a soup if it gets cold? If I put it in the fridge, excuse me. And I'm like, okay, yes, it's still a soup. But I don't want to have it cold. I only want to have soup cold.

Warm. And I think of soups as warm. Why is she calling me a child and why are you guys making me feel like I'm not in the majority on this? Split pea soup in particular, because my dad has made it a bunch, when it's refrigerated becomes like a jello. It's one of those soups that like congealed and then once you microwave it, it becomes a soup again, but cold it is gross. Cold it's awful. If you are soupy, you are a soup. Doesn't matter if you are cold or hot. Just like if you've written an article, you're a writer. Yeah.

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