Diapers In Space
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Well, hello there, everyone. This is Jan Arden. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast and Show. You can subscribe to us on your favorite live streaming, streaming podcast-y things. We're so glad to be here. Caitlin Green joins me today, Adam Karsh, they're both in their respective homes. I got home yesterday from Toronto. I was there for the week. It was still weird and wonderful, traveling, going anywhere. I was on a packed plane coming home last night.

And I sat beside a very drunk man. Did he recognize you? No, thank God. Chris, my road manager, was on the aisle seat. And this guy...

gentleman was across the aisle, he drank two bottles of red wine, red wine. His teeth were magenta. Oh my God. No, he kept taking his mask off our flight attendant. I want to buy him a Winnebago or a trip to Cabo for like six months just to reward him for his kindness, his professionalism and kudos to you air Canada. You've got some good people. Um, his patience, um,

He kept giving the man's new disposable blue surgical-looking masks because this guy could not effing keep the mask on his face. I believe that, and I feel like I would be so... For you, you're a recognized person, and this is now a drunk person, and you're captive. You can't run away from them. You're on a flight, and this is my introverted worst nightmare. Ah!

the guy beside him. He was in disbelief. And I don't know what the rules are with serving someone. Chris and I were like, I hope the guy can stand up at the end of this. It's a four hour and 15 minute flight. Soon as they were able to serve, he was drinking and

full glasses of red wine. So we figured it was two bottles. That's a lot. Yeah, I do think that they they can cut you off. And I know of them cutting people off like it's like a bar. And also, that's when people get unruly. Like you're going to have a passenger incident when someone is being over served. So they do cut people off. But it's like because I used to bartend and I've had to do this. You know, people who are that drunk don't take kindly to being cut off. It's

So it's a real little risky little game to play. Because when you tell a drunk person they can't drink anymore, they feel very judged. They're very illogical. And it is like one of the most awkward things to do as a bartender. We were descending. We were descending. And I was trying to get the poor service attendants off.

attention. And he just insisted. And so the guy gave him a little, like an inch in a plastic cup. And I think he played the hand quite well because he was just like, I don't want to see him. We are descending. I need the man to stay in his seat. And I don't want him to keep going. Hey, hey. So he gave him this little sippy cup and we landed and

Chris and I bolted out of the plane. But it was an interesting flight. All I can say is kudos. It's a time to be patient. That could have played out much differently.

I was surprised the guy held his pee as long as he did. I was just going to say. He didn't go to the bathroom until like maybe 20 minutes before we started sort of packing up the cabin and putting our seats upright. And he wasn't standing in that toilet for, I'm going to say he peed for 140 seconds straight because he was in there for a long time. He's like a drunk camel, just holding it all in his hump. And I wanted to talk because in my drinking days, I could...

absolutely do five six seven caesars oh wow oh my gosh and especially if i was coming home from working especially if i didn't land and have to go immediately to meetings or gigs or whatever so if i was finishing a trip oh i could do i mean conservatively five wow

And just, but I'm so glad Chris is like, I'm so glad we don't drink. Yeah. Hallelujah. Amen. Greatest thing that ever happened to me. Greatest decision I ever made in my life was my sobriety next to veganism next to whatever it is else that I'm doing, but sobriety. And I'm thinking, is this guy driving home? Is he getting in a cab? Like now what?

Well, yeah. Who's picking them up? What is the deal? Are they like, oh, Larry got hammered on the flight again? Or like you said, what do they think that they're driving home? What is going on? I mean, and also I just like a flight is such a dehydrating experience and environment anyways. That just to me sounds like the world's worst headache. I yeah, this is all kinds of wrong information.

Well, Chris kept elbowing me. Like whenever there was like a new thing happening, he kind of would elbow me and I would look sort of past his chest and the guy was, you know, trying to eat his tortellini. Oh my God. Yeah. For some reason, I'm like, sir, stab the goddamn tortellini. Stab it.

Stop trying to pick it up individually and balance it on your plastic fork. It is, oh. That's drunk. Like that's real drunk. If you can't handle getting a tortellini from plate to mouth, you're very drunk. They're going to offer that test now. You know, you have to walk the line holding a plastic fork with a tortellini. That's the test. Keeping with our traveling and sort of,

interesting, dramatic and horrific travel stories.

There's a broken toilet on the SpaceX crew is dealing with wearing diapers. I saw this, I saw this story pop up and I felt horrified because of course, what else do you do when a toilet breaks in space? There's no gravity. So not only is it a terrible experience when it's working to put your butthole, kind of a suction thing. I don't know how it works. You guys can go Google it yourself. One,

Once had an opportunity to talk to Commander Chris Hadfield when he was on the space station. I was one of the people very fortunate enough

to speak to him when the ISIS came around enough for you to communicate with Earth. Yeah. So I downloaded an app, but one of the first things I asked Commander Hatfield was about the toilets. And he said, well, you know, it's the most frequently asked question about how we poo and pee up here. And I can't remember exactly what he said because my dad, who had dementia, kept popping into the screen and I was mortified. No.

Because Chris was going, so who's that gentleman behind you? And my dad, quite sick at the time, leaning into this Nassau, you know, looking. Can you blame him? No. It was so...

But anyway, so they're wearing diapers. Yeah. And I'm thinking, why do you have diapers in space? But I guess that was one of the things that they thought this could happen. This is definitely why they have diapers in space. But then, like, okay, how do you change your own diaper? Where, like, is there a risk of things leaving when you remove it? Like, what happens exactly? Like, I...

This is for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is diapers. I would not be able to cut it in space. Like people talk about space exploration and now that it's kind of being commercialized by billionaires, unfortunately, everyone's like, oh, William Shatner's going like Michael Strahan's going now. I'm not going to go.

Not because I don't find the exploration part fascinating. I think seeing the world from up there would be a life-changing perspective. I just can't imagine that it is anything other than disgusting and uncomfortable. Agreed. I'm happy to watch the live feeds of them from space. Yeah. And what they're looking at, that's enough for me. I have no, I'm not an intrepid person.

explorative person. I know that's not even a word. Explorative. Let's change it to explorative. The astronaut, NASA astronaut Megan Arthur calls the situation suboptimal. That's a really professional way of saying I would prefer not to crap in my own pants.

But I'm trying to think. So they're putting the diaper on. Hi, welcome to the Jan Arden podcast. So they're putting the diaper on in zero gravity, pushing out a poo. Yeah, but I don't like that. Just seeing it going into their pants. Yeah. Isn't it floating? Do you have to catch it when you take your diaper off? That's what I'm saying. Removing it, changing your own. What if it gets loose?

Sorry, TMI? Yeah, like I'm like, it's just the whole process is not, it doesn't feel like what you want, obviously. And I think about, and you were just talking about flights. This is something I frequently think on older planes, because you get on an older plane, especially if you're waiting to use the washroom and you're standing up in the kitchen area and everything's all stainless steely and everything has to be closed in its little drawer. Nothing can

be loose in case you drop and things go flying. That's what the space stations look like. Everything is buttoned down, sealed in, strapped in. And it's like, it looks so uncomfortable and it just feels like it would be yucky up there. I don't know. I couldn't do it. I just absolutely couldn't. Also because I'm dumb, but you know, mostly because it's gross. You're right.

Listen, they have had a terrible time. Like as far as space journeys go, they've had a terrible time. Thomas Pesquet, I hope I'm saying that right. P-E-S-Q-U-E-T. He told reporters that in the past six months, it's been really intense, uh,

So they had to do a series of spacewalks. They upgraded the station's power grid. They had inadvertent thruster misfiring by a docked Russian vehicle, and it sent them into brief spins. I can't even imagine what that means as you're going 29,000 miles an hour around the Earth. But they got that under control.

Um, they were hosting a Russian film crew, I guess that's part of the people that are up there right now. They, they, they dealt with the toilet leak. They're still dealing with it, I get. Um, but they, they discovered pools of urine. Oh, wow.

like floating in the capsule because fluid just kind of beads together, but it was pools of urine. That was terrible. Anyway, I don't know. I guess when my idea of thinking of being on the space station is so romantic, looking down at the earth, looking down at a band of Aurora Borealis dancing across the sky and

And the lights of Dubai as you circle past forest fires scorching the earth in Australia. Like all these visions come to mind. And it is not that. I think they are trying to just stay alive. Yeah, you're drinking Soylent and wearing a seatbelt to use the toilet that now isn't working. Like it's not good.

I don't know why people are paying so much money to do this. I also think as a side note that I space exploration is being massively devalued. When I heard that like good morning, America host, Michael Strahan was going and they're obviously like trying to turn it into a segment and all this stuff. I just thought, you know, we're wrecking the panache of being a space traveler at this point because you know, old Bezos over there has decided he's just going to strap any old millionaire and a TV host and

and take them up into space. It should be reserved for the Chris Hadfields and the Roberta Bonnars of the world. Well, on a happy note, as we go to break, they grew the first chili peppers in space. Hey. Ill-real morale booster. You're listening to the Jan Arden Podcast. We will be right back. Well, it's not so hot to be an astronaut because the food gets caught in your butt. Zero gravity rope.

Zero gravity. Welcome back to the Jan Ardy podcast. I'm here with Caitlin Green, Adam Karsh, and we've been talking about diapers in space. Caitlin, you had another space related story. Do tell. I'm excited. I shut you up. I didn't mean to be so abrupt, but I'm like, don't tell me. Wait, wait till we go back to recording. So what's happening?

There have actually been some trending space stories that didn't revolve around toilet stuff. And one is the launch this week of this asteroid reduction test that NASA was starting. And I think it launched yesterday, this projectile. It's like a space projectile. And the entire goal of it is to have this...

spacecraft land on a moving asteroid so basically basically arm basically armageddon so this it's it's unmanned like this is the no one's on this but this projectile lands on a moving asteroid and the idea is that it's going to impact crash into it and then knock it slightly off its course and what this is supposed to do is prevent us from getting hit by an asteroid and becoming like the dinosaurs

So they're thinking if we can do this with a asteroid that isn't currently on path to hit us and we can bonk it off of its course, then maybe if we find out that we have an asteroid the size of the Eiffel Tower heading towards Earth one day, we will just use and deploy one of these spacecraft, one of these projectiles and potentially save humanity. But the thing that this brought up for everybody most was that the test was

Was that like a cover-up? Like, is the test the whole mission? Do we think there's an impending asteroid impact coming to Earth and they're just not telling us because what would the point be of stressing out everyone on Earth? So, like, when they launch this, everyone's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, now I'm freaked out. That's human nature to worry about. I can only imagine what they don't tell us. Yeah, I don't want to know.

Oh, thank you for not telling me, by the way, people in charge. There really is things I don't want to know. In my opinion, that's why I pay taxes. Like I pay taxes so that you can just keep me in the dark on a bunch of stuff. I'm not one of those people that wants to know all the conspiracy theory things because we have no control over them. But so it did spark a bunch of conversations and it launched. So we'll see how it goes, if it's effective. I don't know. Maybe they have Michael Strahan or William Shatner on board. Maybe they're manning it. Honestly, talking about mining precious metal.

from these asteroids and from these dormant rocks floating through the abyss. Yeah. I think we will absolutely see that. Not in our lifetime, but I bet you in the next hundred years, those idiots are going to be drilling for something on the moon.

And then we won't have any tides. They're going to, oh, we broke a chunk of the moon off. We were fracking. Like, I hope the people of the future have the foresight and the foreskin to stop themselves from ruining the planet. I mean, obviously, Earth is going to end at some point anyway. I often think of that.

We've been here for billions of years, but as we know, there is a beginning and end to everything in space. Our sun will eventually burn itself out. It will not be shining the way it is. So my biggest concern is, can we please start shooting little crafts, never mind getting William Shatner, you know, above the atmospheric band of the planet? Can we just start sending out

all our greatest music and all this beautiful artwork and just portraits of people. And I don't know, every little, maybe they're doing that now, but just shoot it out into space so that it's out there because this is going to end. I hope it's another 2 billion years, but one never knows at the rate we are going. And also one thing that now is freaking me out is the amount of junk that

in space. So space junk is like a huge issue. And it got to the point too, as well, this is probably why the people on the international space station are having such a stressful go of it the last few months. This wouldn't have helped because Russia decided, Oh, we're going to send out an anti-satellite missile. So it is a missile that we're going to launch up into space, so to speak, or above the atmospheric band. And it's going to hit,

a satellite that we want it to, and it's going to blow it up and it worked. And so they did this test. It hit a satellite, one of their own satellites that had been kind of retired. So it was in orbit, but no longer functional. They made contact. This thing exploded. You know what it did? It launched a bunch of space junk at all the poor people who were on the space station. So they had to get into what they call them the like lifeboat pods because they thought that they had to evacuate because it was going to be like a scene out of the movie gravity.

And also it was, it's like, this is the beginning of space wars where it was country spend so much money putting satellites in orbit for information, for cell service, for GPS, whatever the case is. And now if, you know, Vlad decides that he doesn't like it, he's going to go shoot a missile at it. And then all the space junk is going to launch into the stratosphere, maybe damaging other satellites. Like it's just, it's too much for me. It's very overwhelming. It is overwhelming. It's overwhelming, but, um,

I don't know how we can stop what everyone sort of sees as progress. You know, we can only hope that people, there's some diplomacy about, you know, going up and shooting something out of space. Can you kind of let us know so that we don't have three men tethered to a long thing on the Canada arm swinging around? Yeah, that's our arm. It's amazing how...

how adventurous people are and how many people are lined up to go to space. I remember the three of us talking about the, the Mars mission probably over a year ago, year and a half. And, and, uh, just how many thousands and thousands of applicants they had for a one way trip to Mars that was probably going to be unsuccessful. And you would,

probably die before you got there. Yeah. I have changed my views on space travel. I'd say a lot based on just knowing more about what's included. Cause previously I thought in the fantasy land, you know, question of would you go to space if given the opportunity, I would always have said yes. I'm like, now I'm just not so sure. Would you go if Bezos called you up and said, do you want to go take a report? No, you wouldn't go. No, I wouldn't go. I have, I have no interest in it. For one thing, I don't have any desire to have that kind of attention. Um,

put upon me. I think it's God awful. Um, some people thrive and they, they love that and they love that spotlight. I think someone like William Shatner, um, for one thing, I love that there was a 90 year old that they had chose that of one of the Kardashians that was thrilling that it wasn't Kim Kardashian or Drake or I don't know, going up there that there was an elderly man who'd been on this planet for nine decades and

And was able to reflect on his own life and his own mortality and to look down at a place. I think that was an important choice. But my goodness, he loved the attention. I would just be like, no, no.

No, thank you. And now Michael Strahan will be the, I think, is he the tallest person to go into space? I think he might be. Are height things that they kind of try and aim for? Is it because of the size of the space station that they don't want you six foot seven wandering around in there? You're going to take everything out? Yep, absolutely. So there is kind of, my understanding was that there is an ideal height to not be if you're going to be up there. I don't think they want, you know, Michael Jordan roaming around the space station. I don't think that would work.

No, I can see that. I just, like you said, Caitlin, everything's strapped down and the fact that there is no up or down, I think we all picture them walking on metal grates, kind of making their way through the space station and they're just floating while their bone mass is decreasing each moment that they're up there and their lungs are shrinking and their organs are shrinking and everything. I mean, I don't know. What's the longest anyone's been in space? Is it a year? Has someone been up there?

I have no idea. Who? Write us, people. Find people. Oh, I thought you said a name. No. Write us and tell us how long the longest person in space has been there. I heard like Rexton Ellis and I was like, who is that? I have it. Okay. Russian cosmonaut. I hope I'm pronouncing this correctly. Valerie

Poliakov spent 437 days on the Mir space station from 1994 and 1995. Wow. What was left of, what was left of Valerie at the end of that? I bet you she stopped having her period.

Oh my gosh. Could you, that's another thing that the female astronauts have to think about. Maybe they give them like the, um, like the, the birth control shot that stops that for like a whole year of your life. You'd have to have something going on. Cause that would just be, where does it all, what would happen? I don't even want to think about it. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. Adam is giving us twirly fingers, which means we will be right back.

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Somehow, guys, we are sucked in to the American Thanksgiving vortex. We're getting sucked in more and more every year. It has really nothing to do with Canada. But I'll just give you a little example of what happens to our country. I'm trying to change a flight the other day just to come home a little bit early. And they wanted $3,800. What? Oh, my gosh. That's insane. Because then it dawned on me.

it's it's the Thanksgiving travel which everyone knows because we're inundated with this fact that it's the busiest travel holiday in the United States yeah this was the thing that I slowly learned over time from working with people who are from the U.S. and would go home and I always was like they were very stressed about it was this whole thing and it wasn't just like I'm gonna take like a day off and go home or make it into a long weekend it was like a

full week off. Like it's this, it's a, it's an event. And then I realized that it's actually a bigger deal than Christmas, which is mind boggling to me, but it really is. It's the biggest travel season. As you said, it is the start of the bowing to the gods of capitalism. So the like shopping and the conspicuous consumption started this week.

And I also do feel like we have been inundated with it, even though our take on Thanksgiving seems much more relaxing, much more in line with like actual harvest season as well. I mean, that's when we do ours is like the UK and European calendar. And it gives you some breathing room between Thanksgiving at the beginning of October here in Canada and Christmas.

Whereas like Americans are running around like chickens with no heads trying to get everything done in the run up to Christmas because it's almost usurped by Thanksgiving. It is bigger than Christmas. And for me, for the for the American folks, if for me, it's like people who want to avoid Christmas.

going home for Christmas. It's almost like, I hit this over with earlier, it'll be less stressful. It's not all the gifts and stuff. I think it's like one level down as far as family fight night. Yeah. And just that people can stay home and spend Christmas with their own families. It's almost a trade-off. Maybe it's become the trade-off holiday over the last 20 or 30 years. Yeah. My U.S. friends, it's like they have to do both and it's brutal. That's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot.

I mean, everything on my computer when I flip it open now, and it has been this way for the last month, is all black. Friday sales, holiday sales, and it has nothing to do with us, but somehow the Canadian media and the Canadian shopping cycles, economically, they've jumped on this idea that

during Thanksgiving, we're going to get in on their sales. I don't know. The last thing they would do in a million years is do anything Canadian down there. They should though. They should really switch to our model. And from my very biased perspective, because it just seems like you give yourself a bit more room. I don't know. It's so, it's like so much all at once. Although I will say if I lived in the U S my birthday coincides with a U S Thanksgiving. And so maybe I would like that more, but as a Canadian, not so much.

This is a terrible time of year for turkeys. No kidding. This is between now and Christmas, something like 75 million turkeys will say adios. And that's probably mostly just for Thanksgiving. Because a lot of people do a turkey at Thanksgiving and they do a turkey at Christmas time. Although people are changing. I know you talked about this last year of doing Chinese food.

Yeah. So that is, once again, how we're going to be doing our holiday dinner here. I think my dad and his girlfriend are going to have dim sum with us. And we're going to go out. We're going to go to a great dim sum-focused restaurant here in Toronto. We might go see a movie after. I'm going to be actually in the Bahamas this year for Christmas. Oh, I love that.

Yeah. So we're taking off. We're going to be, I will hopefully will be like cocktail in hand unaware of what day of the week it is when Christmas actually hits. But yeah, the Turkey thing is interesting because it's also not the kind of like no one roasts a Turkey any other time of the year. And I almost feel like the holiday meals are more about the sides than they are even like the Turkey, right?

Which is why I think it would be one of the easier things to swap out if you were making the switch to a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle. Like, shout out, obviously, to Julie Daniluk. Or not Julie Daniluk, my gosh. That's another cook who I know. Julie Van Rosendahl, good friend of yours and the show. Did you see her post about doing a vegetarian option version of a turkey? I did. And it was amazing.

Yeah. And so it was puff pastry in the shape of a turkey and it was filled with lentils and roasted sweet potatoes. And I just thought, I feel mushrooms. It's a great idea. It looked amazing. No, there's, I mean, more, more now than ever, people are absolutely doing a plant-based protein because let's face it for me,

Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas dinner is all about the sides. The green bean casserole, easy to veganize. Potatoes, it's the vegan perfect food. Speaking of potatoes, the biggest potato was just dug up in New Zealand a week ago. His name is Doug and he was 17 pounds. Whoa.

Doug. So that's a very big potato, Doug. 17 pound potato. But like you said, the sweet potato with the marshmallows. You can do vegan marshmallows now. There's so many options. Gardein. Shout out to Gardein who are not our sponsors. But please feel free to sponsor us. They do

And you can find them right now. They're easy to find because it's that time of year. They are beautiful little individual parcels of delightful deliciousness. It is like a turkey breast. It's vegan. And it's stuffed with the most delicious vegetables.

sagey, poultry, seasonishy, wonderful little bread stuffing. And you bake them in the oven. And if you have that, it comes with gravy, by the way. Good idea, Gardein. And you just heat that up on the stove. It comes with little gravy packets for everybody. And I have those every year. So now I have, and I'm not kidding you, I wish I was lying, I have 10 bags of two. So I have 30 individual Gardein bags.

because they were on sale. They're in my freezer. And so I'm having eight people here for like Christmas dinner. And we are all vaccinated, by the way. We are all hopefully going to be boosted at some point. But we're all having one of those. I told, I've already forewarned everybody there's no turkey here. And no one even blinked an eye. So what I was going to say, like I've had some decent turkey in my life, but it's not like I'm not,

I'm not going for it. That's the thing. It's more, it's this tradition and it's the attachment that we have to the tradition. But, you know, the mashed potatoes, the butternut squash, the delicate squash, the stuffing, certainly stuffing is probably my favorite. You can do like a vegan mac and cheese too. I mean, there are lots of options now that I just don't think people had before. And I don't know, it makes me feel like the whole holiday is slightly less murderous and terrible for the earth. Yeah.

Well, it is. And they're killed after five or six weeks. They don't last very long. And they're raised in barns with thousands and thousands. I won't get into that. I mean, people are waking up to animal welfare. We saw horrible flooding in Abbotsford, British Columbia. There's more storms headed their way. Certainly by the time this podcast airs, the show airs,

they're expecting, you know, so much more rain. And, you know, there was thousands and thousands of heads of livestock, we have to think about how are these industrial farms maintainable? And do we have to keep these numbers manageable, not only for the planet, not only for climate change, but when these disasters happen, these animals deserve to be rescued, they deserve to be taken to higher ground, there deserves to be there was no plan, there was a

Some of these animals were locked in their barns. Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, it's like the worst case scenario in the Titanic. And I do understand that people were panicked. And I'm not saying that, you know, farmers are these people that don't give a crap about their animals. I don't believe that for a second. I think the people that lost all these animals are devastated. It's horrible. But just because...

it's something that we've done for hundreds of years and this is the way we do it. Doesn't make it right. Yeah. And also it's not, I mean, I will say for your wallet, trust me, it is going to get increasingly less affordable to consume animal products. We're seeing the cost of, you know, I think bacon was one of the products that was hit hardest by inflation. I think it's gone up somewhere close to 30%, but if you, you know, any, any family in Canada knows right now the cost of getting, uh,

meat and dairy is sky high and it's, it's reflective of the cost of consumption.

creating it. And so at a point you've got to ask yourself, is it, is it even financially viable? Because back in the day it wasn't, these were special meals. It was the roast chicken on one week only. Like, yeah. And then as once a fricking month, you can't have animal protein three times a day. But that was a political policy. That was a political policy from the, from politicians who wanted to promise a chicken on every table. And that's how they got voted in. You're listening to the Jan Arden podcast. We'll be right back.

Welcome back. Caitlin and Adam are here, Jan Arden Podcast and Show. We're talking about space diapers and we're talking about...

turkeys, you know, and we're not going to talk about turkeys and diapers because that would just be too convenient. Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people are going to be sick from the turkeys that they cook this year. So still all these years, cooking a turkey is like one of the number one most Googled things. So if you go in how to cook a turkey, it comes up

There's people all over the world thinking that deep frying a turkey is a great idea, dropping it into a vat of oil. There has been so many fires, so many injuries. There has been deaths of people deep frying turkeys. People, you know, so but anyway, getting this simonella.

Salmonella, excuse me. Any myriad of poisonings that you can get from improperly cooked poultry. You know, these are big birds. In my day, my dad would be up at five in the morning. God knows this was a little excessive because these turkeys were drier than a witch's skirts. And, you know, he cooked it for 10 hours. It was low and slow, but

My mother put the fear of God into all of us that that turkey, that leg needed to pull off effortlessly. But there are thousands of people that are going to wake up in a few days so sick from improperly cooked turkey. How can we help them, guys? How can we help these people? That's why they have the Butterball hotline. You know, Butterball every year comes out with a turkey hotline so that people will call in.

and not poison themselves. And I've always been of the mind where I'm like, well, if I'm doing some sort of a holiday meal, oftentimes I will not opt for turkey. I will opt for a roast chicken by Ina Garten. I would opt for something else. I mean, but a roast chicken to me is default. And also, I guess this is just a byproduct of the fact that I'm not going to a 30 person dinner ever,

really. Like mine have always been super small. That ship has sailed for me. Yeah. And I was just going to say, especially now, I think, you know, whether or not it's for, you know, health and safety reasons or just that as a result of switching up to smaller meals for health and safety reasons, you realize, hey, I kind of like it. I think that that's changing quite a bit. I don't know. I also read that like in the U.S. only 10% of

of Americans will either order in from like a pre-made catered type situation for Thanksgiving or go out. And that struck me as low.

I thought more people would have opted for that. It's so much trouble. Oh my God. And it's expensive when you factor in the amount of time you spend in the kitchen and your time is worth money and you factor in how much food costs now. I was like, I don't know, like just order it. If you are picking up a meal at one of those specialty grocery stores, you see the advertising start, you know, do it now, order three weeks ahead, blah,

blah, blah. You know, I've seen, there's a store here. I'm not going to name them, but they're a specialty grocery store. It's a lovely store. I love going in there to buy something special for myself, but their dinners for six were $375. Oh my gosh. I mean,

I didn't think it was that bad, but I'm thinking $375 is a lot of families' entire month of groceries. I'm terrible at math, but what's that per head? Oh, that's not terrible, actually, when you put it that way. It's not terrible. I mean, look, you could definitely do that for much cheaper if you were making it yourself. That's fine.

Turkey though, and that one turkey would have been what, 60 bucks? Yeah. And then it's like the accoutrement. I have to factor in time. Anyway, I've had people come up to me going, well, vegans poison themselves too. They get E. coli and blah, blah, blah. And they're not wrong. I mean, how many warnings has there been with lettuce? Oh my God. And salads. Let me tell you out there people right now, just a little tip from me. Do not buy bagged lettuce ever. Never.

I know it's tempting to go pull a Southwest salad or an Asian salad or a Caesar salad off the shelf, but

Be very mindful. Look at the date. Look at the date of those bags. But imagine something in a bag. When you have something in a bag, and I don't care how well these bags are perforated or they're made for this, don't do it. Go buy yourself a head of lettuce. It'll last you for two weeks. Don't buy it in bags. No, no, no. You're right. I don't buy bagged salad. I'd rather buy a fresh head of lettuce, wash it, chop it up, and add it to whatever. Wash it.

And this is what happens. It always says pre-washed. And I'll tell you, you'll be very reluctant to wash already cut up coleslaw. You'll be very reluctant to wash already cut up tossed salad. And never mind that. Think about this for a second. Inside of the salad you're about to chew...

are bags filled with cranberries or nuts. Then they have the salad dressing and then they have a little bag of wontons. Some, some thing, some machine or a person touched that and put it inside your bag of lettuce. So now that whole thing is sitting there. It's in the truck. It's in the, it's traveling to get to that shelf. And those dates are so precarious. Don't buy it. And that's my public service announcement for your holiday is don't buy bagged lettuce.

The sickest I've ever been in my life was from salad, was from lettuce, was from bad lettuce. One was bagged salad. So I remember them. One was bagged salad. One was bagged salad that had been put on a sub sandwich. And the other one was bagged salad that was in a wrap.

And so it was all this like pre-washed lettuce. And you know, it's just like, well, it's just, it's not a great idea. And also they're all handled in these massive processing facilities. So if you have a case, if you have one little,

little outbreak it spreads to all those salads processed at that one facility and it's not great and then the last part of it is same goes for sprouts if like I had when I was pregnant my OB was like the I do not want you touching bagged salad I do not want you touching sprouts

you know, as much as we all like fret over sushi, you know, Japan has figured out how to have children and the women there who are pregnant consume sushi all the time. We also don't live here in Toronto. Um, you know, very close to the ocean, obviously. So every single piece of sushi that comes here is flash frozen. So there is a certain safety element that comes along with that. All to say you're at higher risk with bagged salad, really like not opting in on sushi. I'm just saying we think it's safer than it is. I feel overall. Well,

I think we've learned a lot on this show today. Diapers and salad. Yeah. Just as a little aside, when we're talking about Thanksgiving and meals and things like that, make sure that you do enjoy eating.

And, you know, everyone's talking so much about calories. We're seeing so many ads, so many things. How to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds, without feeling guilty. I'll tell you right now, these have been unbelievably difficult times. You have that shortbread and you eat your stuff. And you know what? Maybe as your family, if there's five or six of you together, go for a walk after a meal.

Don't get your girls bundled up. Wait like an hour. Don't go swimming for at least an hour after.

And go walk around the block and just take in the sights and just look around and get some fresh air. But do not punish yourself. Don't be hard on yourself. I really want everyone to enjoy the holidays. And I hope our American friends enjoy the holidays. I hope that there's not these giant spikes. You know, we're so used to hearing those kinds of conversations of, oh, the number's going to go up and people are getting together. Let's try not to kill each other. Be mindful.

And you know what? If there's going to be some tough decisions, there's going to be, do we have our neighbors next door over that aren't vaccinated into the house? And I want people to really think carefully about those decisions when you have kids, when you have elderly people. This is still a very, very serious disease that is taking lives and ruining people's health for God only knows years to come. So be careful when you're making those decisions. Be mindful and don't be afraid of hurting somebody's feelings.

And don't be afraid to just get dim sum. That's what I'm advocating for. You can opt out at any time and get takeout. Yeah. Cook your turkey for at least 14 hours.

And you know what? Don't even eat a damn turkey. Go get a Gardein little turkey breast. Have a puff pastry mushroom tart. Go and see Julie Van Rosendahl's Dinner with Julie is her Instagram handle. She's got lots of ideas. We have loved having you along for the ride today. Thanks to all our listeners. And we are so grateful to have you with us week after week after week. This is episode 107.

Season one. I'm season one. Anyways, we'll talk to you soon. Happy American Thanksgiving to our friends down south. And we'll see you soon. Toodly-doo. This podcast is distributed by the Women in Media Podcast Network. Find out more at womeninmedia.network.