#2320 - Tom Segura
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First of all, how did Netflix let you make this show? Well, they wouldn't have let me make it if I just pitched it to them. What did you do? I made a few and showed it to them. Oh, my God. Because I knew. I knew that if we- You can't give anybody the script. No. No. The script won't work. The script won't work. I mean, that's just- That's true.

That's the thing. It's very funny. Thanks, man. It's so ridiculous. It's pretty ridiculous. It was a few years ago that I made the initial one. I was on that crazy tour, that real crazy tour, where it was like fucking 10 shows a week, and I had a break coming up. I've always liked movies, like features, right? Yeah.

It's a huge undertaking to get a feature made, but I liked short films because it feels like you're making a movie, you know, like a mini movie, right? And it feels much more accessible to do. So I had written all these short stories, short films, and I called my friend Rami Hashash, and I was like, hey, I have a break coming up on tour. Let's shoot a short film because we'd done other things before. And when I sent him, I sent him like 10 different scripts. He was like, what if we did three of these?

I was like, how can we do three of them? He's like, we'll shoot like 11 days in a row. We can do three of these stories. And even then I wasn't thinking of like having a television series. I was just like, oh, it'll be fun to make these, these stories, you know? And so after we shot those three,

it was clear that we had like, like the, you know, the bones of a show. Like what if we, what if we did a, a show that was based on short stories, you know, like short films basically. And I don't know. I, I, there's, well, there was another, there's another few that were in the original, uh,

And when I sent them in to Netflix, they were like, this is fucking insane, but we'll make six episodes of this. And yeah, they were just like, this is crazy. But it's been the most fun I've ever had, dude. Really? Yeah, yeah. Because you know what? I was thinking about it on my way in here today. I was like, sometimes you have to remind yourself

Like of what your original dream, you know? And my dream when I moved to L.A. had nothing to do with stand-up. I never thought of stand-up. Not to say that I don't love doing stand-up today. I'm in love with stand-up. But I moved to L.A. because I was like, oh, I want to do movies. Like that was my whole thing. I want to do comedy movies. And I had like my own blueprint for how I would do it. I was like, I'll go to the Groundlings.

SNL will definitely hire me from there. Like this is like my 21 year old brain. And then I'll do that for a couple of years and then I'll do movies. Like I thought that was a logical game plan to, to, to end up in movies. And it just, you know, I did do the groundlings for a while, the school, but when I was supposed to do writing lab, which was like one of their levels, I had started standup and I was just like, Oh, this path is just better for me. Like I was getting traction, not like,

My career wasn't moving, but I'm saying I could feel how much I loved it. And I was starting to get like 50 bucks here and there. And I was like, oh, it's not doing the writing lab thing. It's staying in the stand-up path. That's kind of like... Interesting. But the dream of doing something like movies, which is like, this feels like to me like they sent me to film school and they were like, make your fucked up movies. That's what it felt like. That's been like... I was working like 16-hour days, right?

doing this thing and I would come home and Christina would be like, I have never seen you so energized after working all goddamn day. She's like, you come home in the best mood. I was like, yeah, because I'm having fun. Like I'm having so much fun doing this, you know. Well, that shows you're doing the right thing. I think so. I mean, it was like... That is so uniquely you. It is, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our fucking text thread. Pretty much is. There are some in here that I can't wait for you to see. Like there are some in here that I...

literally cannot wait for you she this morning she goes why is it called bad thoughts it should be called cock thoughts she's like she's like i swear there's dicks in like every other one i'm like yeah she's like dicks and violence that's your your wheelhouse we need more of this in the world yeah we really do um

You know that show, the religious show on Max? Why am I not remembering it? Righteous. Righteous Gemstones. Oh, yeah. Fucking A. Yeah, man. Dude. Danny McBride. Yeah. He's fucking fantastic. Yeah, he's fantastic. But.

But the whole cast is fantastic. The whole cast is, yeah, yeah. The fucking show is so good. It's so funny. Goggins, Adam Devine, John Goodman. Oh, yeah. Everyone's amazing. They're all fantastic. But it's also so ridiculous. Yeah. It's like, thank God. It seems like for a while people were getting scared of making anything offensive. I know. And it also feels like so many studios, networks, platforms, whatever you want to call it,

are like so distanced from comedy. Like it's like comedy is like... It's too dangerous. It's very like... Well, it's weird as you can get away with so much in a drama...

In a drama, you could have violence and theft and car accidents. You could fucking kill people and rape people and steal all their money. And that's okay for some reason. But there's something about doing comedy that's offensive or even potentially offensive. Yeah, the other thing is there's the offensive angle. I also think that they really shit the bed on literally –

backing truly funny material like the comp so many studio comedies that that are released the the Critics people like why didn't this work because it's not good. It wasn't funny, right? It's not a funny comedy Don't think part of that is because they can't take any real chance. Yeah, there's I think a studio is always you know Like if you strip everything down, it's somebody that has to have some risk in their job. They're playing with a

millions of dollars and saying like this this will make us money right and so yeah they they start to get more apprehensive about it the other thing is that the cost of some of these comedies when comedies were really thriving last which was i think like more than 20 years ago some of these comedies started to cost like 30 million plus to do a comedy yeah because sometimes you had like

Huge stars and huge set pieces, and you'd have these enormous budgets. Now, some of them, like Tropic Thunder, I think did probably pretty well at the box office, right? Oh, yeah, sure. But a lot of them would not. And so it started to be like, hey, you know what? We can make this. That's why you see the explosion of certain genres, right? Like horror really has had a huge uptick the last decade plus. Yeah.

'cause people can produce them for five million, but they don't realize that you can produce great comedies for five million also. You can, but you have to prioritize the material first. It's gotta be a great script.

And they got to be willing to back it. I feel like they just haven't taken those shots yet. Well, it's kind of a tremendous opportunity, right? Because of the fact that these big studios and these big stars are not doing those kind of films. Exactly. Like the door is wide open. It's open. Because the demand is never...

gone away. No, people want it. They want to laugh. Always. I'm doing one this summer. Yeah? I'm doing a movie this summer, yeah. What are you doing? It's a crazy fucking comedy. It's insane. It hasn't been announced yet, so you know how they are about that. But it's a wild, R-rated comedy. Well, tell me about it afterwards then. Okay, yeah. Ha-ha, everybody else. Yeah, no, I would love to talk about it. But I think we're doing kind of like what you're saying, which is like we're going to go all in on trying to make this really funny movie.

And I mean, I couldn't be more excited about it. And I think it's like, it takes, you realize when you're, you know, you read it and you go, this is it. We kind of do, you know, some punch ups on the script. And then you just try to surround yourself with amazing comedic talent, you know, like great actors. And just have fun. Yeah. I think that's like. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Speed dating is an interesting concept, isn't it?

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That's awesome. Something that's missing. That's so cool. I didn't even know that that was your original dream. I've fucking known you forever. I know. Yeah, it was. I guess I was probably like I kind of was resigned to that's not going to happen to, you know, not like I mean, the other thing is like, dude, every time I'm out on the road, you know, I get a call. Hey, they want to see you for this part or you got an offer to shoot something.

This show or this like here's the offer and I'm like, yeah, I'm I'm on tour Like I can't move the fucking United Center, you know, I don't care. They don't care They just want that piece and I'm like dude, I don't get a piece that you know, it's I know like I can't move all that shit But that's also I realized that after years of that it's like well if I'm always touring I'm just never gonna be able to do other people stuff. Yeah, and so I

It also kind of, I got excited about, you know, having the summer off and I could do something. And then my tour, the current tour I'm on will end in December and I'm leaving 26 wide open. Really? Yeah. I mean, film stuff. I'm going to, yeah, film some stuff. And then I'll still do like what I do, which is like,

go into your club or book some club weekends, which are kind of like low, you know, stress kind of things where you go like, I'm just going to go work out. So I'll try to keep the muscle fresh, but I won't book like a tour. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to take breaks. It is, right? I'll tell you that. I took a big sort of a break. I've just been doing a club. How's that? Since I did my live special. Yeah. It's very nice. It's not, it's great.

having no pressure. So like, I just talk about what I want to talk about and I write about what I want to write about instead of going, I got to put an hour together because I have a tour in three months. Right. Like I have to make sure this hour's tight. I have to, you just kind of take your time with it. And I think there's, there's something to be said for taking breaks, uh, with standup in particular, because like,

You don't want to just have tools that you use to do a job, right? You want to actually, like, you have to kind of figure out what am I investing all my time in these subject matters? Yeah. What am I, what is, like, what's interesting to me? And how much time is that going to take to figure out what the perspective is where I can just say it on stage? Yeah. Because I feel like...

With a lot of comics, there's a thing happens where you get kind of like locked into a set and then you abandon that set and there's just mad scramble to come up with a new set. Yes. And a lot of times when you're doing that new set –

It's not... You're not invested in it. It's just, you know, you can make it effective. Right. You know what I mean? This kind of feels like filler. Yeah. Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. And the audience feels that too. I think they definitely do. Oh, they do. They do. Because I feel it as an audience member. I know when someone's doing that and I go, oh, this is not... I'm not connecting with this at all. Right. But if it's something that you can tell the person wants to talk about... Exactly. ...it resonates. It hits different. Where it's actually interesting. That's the thing. It's like...

As I've gotten older, I've thought much more about stand-up. And there's a lot of stand-up is kind of unspoken. I think a lot of it is hypnosis. Really? Yeah. There's a weird thing going on. And I get it from great comedians. Like-

When I was a kid, there was this guy named Frank Santos, the R-rated hypnotist, and he would go on stage and make people do stuff. And like, you're having sex with Madonna. It was really weird. Yeah. There was a flow to his confidence or something about him. And he was also an actual hypnotist, like, you know, hypnotize people to quit smoking and shit like that. Yeah. And there was something that he was doing.

Where I was like, what is he doing? Like, how is he like, what is this connection where it's just so funny? Like, how is he getting into these people's heads? Like, what is hypnosis? And then I see like a guy like a tell on stage when he's killing and I recognize something in, I'm like, he's hypnotizing us. There's something that he's doing this effortless, effortless confidence and connection to what he's talking about and great material also. So you give him, um,

the reins, you're like, oh, this material is so good. I'll give you the reins. Take my brain. Take my brain. Take my brain. And the rhythm of the cadence too. Yeah. Because he has a very particular cadence. And you know, if you hang out with him,

or work with him, like I did a few times, you start doing the cadence. A lot of people do. Start doing the cadence. And I did that. I did that in like 05, 06, when he was on his show and his first killer album came out, Skanks for the Memories. Yeah, I mean, I feel like I would be talking to you like this, and I'd get on stage, and I'd be like, how's everybody doing? I would just start doing it, because it's such a hypnotic,

type of cadence yeah but Teresa always says that about like having babies like that's his babies yeah like David Tell has a bunch of babies yeah it's like a bunch of people that gave he gave birth to their 100% yeah yeah it's super normal

A lot of people have that. But it's interesting how that stuff works, that there's a thing that's going on, which is why live stand-up is so much better than stand-up on television. Dude, I also had this thing recently, because I'm on tour right now. I realized that, like, man, it's funny how I could be, like, tired. And being tired...

I go on stage in a different mindset, and all of a sudden I'm like, wow, that was a way better set. Like I had the right amount of tired. Not tired where I can't think. But more relaxed. Yeah. And then I get off, and my whole tour crew was like, that was a fucking amazing show. And I'm like, yeah, I feel like I was...

Too tired to be like self-conscious or something. You know what I mean? Right, right. Like some of my self-awareness went away, but like the right degree of it went away. Yeah. And then the show just felt better. And then you locked in with them. Yeah. I also like to tell myself sometimes if I remember that I'm best on stage if I'm going on stage in a silly mindset. If I'm goofing off backstage. Yes. Fucking around.

you know, yes. Making fun of somebody that's like in my crew or something. I don't know, you know, like dancing in the green room, like just silly that, that mindset walking up on stage is like the best one to go on stage with. That's why I used to love working with Joey so much.

Yeah. Because two things. One, Joey would make me laugh like while he was on stage. I'd be waiting to go on stage instead of thinking about my material and going over everything. Yeah. Fine tooth comb. I just be laughing. And then I go on stage laughing. And that's that. That's the thing is that's an unspoken thing that the audience goes like there's joy coming from this person. Yes. You know, they feel the joy. Yeah. They really do. Because like there's nothing grosser than fake laughs.

Yeah. When a comedian does the fake laugh thing, it's fucking gross. Yeah. It's just like when you know they've said that fucking same joke the same way every night with the same laugh. Yeah. Like, you're tricking me. You're tricking me, yeah. You're tricking me. You're a hooker. It's so manufactured, you know? It's so calculated. Which is fine. I mean, whatever. Do whatever you want.

But it's like there's a thing that comes with that that's like, okay, I'm never going to be fully locked in, but maybe I can just appreciate this for, you know. True. Like I'm watching a sitcom. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then there's also nothing as fun, as genuine as...

Oh, yeah. If something really makes you laugh while you're doing a set, that's the most fun. Oh, for sure. And that becomes contagious. That's why the bits work so good when you first start doing them. Yeah. And then sometimes they die off because you're getting tired of it and you're not laughing anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

Whereas, like, there's certain things, like, at a subject, when you first start talking about it, you're like, what the fuck is going on? How is this a real thing? It's so funny because we were just talking about how there's certain bits where you...

It kills, like it kills, right? And then over the next few months. It dies. It dies slowly. Yeah. And you're trying to do the math. You're like, wait, am I saying it different? Am I, like, you just go listen. Right. Did I miss a beat or something? Did I miss some connective tissue? Right. What's going on? And it just like, by the end you're like, no, it's fully dead. It has died. I don't know what happened. You just got to be able to accept that they're dead. Yeah. That's such a funny thing though that happens. I have a bunch of bits I call orphans.

We'll have a file of orphans. Oh, like they're all bits that just never made it onto a special. Yeah. Someone comes up to me like every now and then one of my friends come up to me like, do you do that fucking, is that on anything? I was like, that one's just an orphan. It's an orphan. It's just floating around. It doesn't fit with anything. It's all so fucked up. And sometimes you like, you ever try to bring those back? I brought some back that didn't make it. And sometimes they get new life. Yeah. And then sometimes you're like, oh, there's a reason why I didn't. Yeah.

Yeah. You know when they pop up is bottom of the barrel. Oh, yeah.

It's the best show. The bottom of the barrel, every now and then I'll pull something out and I'm like, actually, I have a fucking ancient bit on this. If I can kind of remember it. That's the other thing is your memory starts to, on the old stuff. My memory's gone on my last special. It's gone. That's the best thing that can happen. Oh yeah, it's gone. I get called out to do this bit and I honestly don't remember how it goes. I'll start it.

and then I'll forget. Right. You want to do it? Yeah. And then they'll know it. They'll know it better than you. And you're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes that's good. That would be funny if they did it. They acted it out.

It's pretty fun. Yeah, there's certain bits like they just leave your mind. It's like I'm done with this. Did you like any of the acting stuff? Because I know you don't have any interest in doing it anymore, but did you enjoy it? Yeah. Yeah, news radio was really fun. That was fun. Yeah, it was fun. I didn't mind doing it. It's just I didn't like it as much and I didn't like the time commitment.

that these, I mean, I don't sound like I'm complaining, oh, he's acting so hard. But it's like you're working these long-ass days. And as a person who likes to do a lot of different things, that becomes a problem. And you were on a multi-cam. Exactly. Imagine if you were on a single cam. Way harder. Single cams are crazy. I had friends that are on single cams. I was like, oh, my God, how are you doing this? They were working six days a week, and they would work in like 12, 15 hours a day. Yeah.

Like, this is so crazy. Like, I like to do a bunch of stuff, man. I like to do jujitsu. I like to play pool. Are you rolling again? No. No, I'm still injured. Yeah. I'm still dealing with some small, it's a lot better now, lower back issue and a little bit of a knee issue, but that's pretty good too. Did I say my little guy quit jujitsu? Why? Why'd he quit? It's the funniest thing. They both go. Both my boys go.

And we take them in and my youngest is like, this is my last one. He's six. And I go, is your last one? He goes, dude, my schedule is crazy. I go, what? He's sick of being his dad. Yeah, he's talking like me.

And he goes, I have a full plate. And I go, you have a full plate. He goes, I go kindergarten. I got Spanish. I do drums. I don't have time for this. That's hilarious. And then he told the instructor. He told the guy in charge. I was like, tell him. He goes, I won't be coming back. I have a very full schedule. And so that guy kind of like smiled and he goes, well...

What do you have? He goes, I told you. Kindergarten, drums, Spanish. I don't have time to do everything. He's sick. He's sick. And I go, yeah. Is this the one who calls you Tom? Well, they both did for a while. But yeah. So he goes, but the instructor was great. He goes, okay, okay. He goes, well, in life, you have to be strong, right? And my kid goes, yeah. He goes, it's not an option. And he goes, yeah. He goes, so if you have to be strong...

then you have to do this. And my kid's like, yeah. The instructor goes, so I'll see you Thursday. And he sticks out his fist, and my kid goes, I told you, I'm too busy. I love this year. And so he hasn't gone. But this is the thing about kids, is he hasn't gone now in a month. And then now he's like, hey, I want to go back to jiu-jitsu. I'm like, of course. Of course. And also his older brother...

He's doing very well. Ah, that's a problem. He's like this motherfucker. He got a new belt, you know, and he's... My older brother's, like, fucking him up and talking mad shit all day. Takes his shirt off every day, and he goes, I'm gonna be so fucking jacked. So he's like, ah, shit, I gotta get back in there. That's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta hedge your time. Like, you have to figure out, like, what do you want to do? You are the most...

insane in my book for a person who does the most different things because you are you're highly proficient at archery jiu-jitsu shoot and pull fitness this shit stand like that's a lot of different things to be like very good at do I have to pick my spots yeah you

You know, because I'm an obsessive person. Right. So, like, I have to, like, that's why I don't fuck with golf. That's why I don't fuck with video games. Fucking golf will get you, dude. Video games will get me. I stayed away from video games for 20 years about, about 20 years. And we got a console. Uh-oh. Well, here's the thing. I actually found that I am busy enough where I, in my brain, I can go, yeah, I can't, I can't. I can do 20 minutes on certain days and get, like, a little dopamine kick from it, like, have fun.

But most of the time I walk by and I go, I got to go out of time to play. My problem is if I put that 20 minutes in, I'll be up until 5 in the morning. I'll go, I don't need sleep. I just won't work out tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just show up half in the bag. I'll eat a lot of creatine so my brain works. Do you know how to do that? Yeah, I started doing it every day. But that's a really big one for sleep deprivation. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, there was some sort of study where they showed that it completely diminishes the effects of sleep deprivation. I think it's 20 grams. I think 20 grams of creatine, something crazy like that. I've been doing that. I have a whole new sleep protocol I'm doing. Oh, a sleep protocol. Like I'm saying a bunch of peptides and shit. Oh, I just ordered an Oura ring to track my sleep. That's good. Do you have to try that pineal peptide? No, I haven't. I heard about it. You were telling me it really ramped up your REM sleep. Fucking awesome. Yeah? Yeah.

- Nice. - Yeah. Anything for more sleep I'm into, man. - Tell you what really affected me. - Quality sleep. - No drinking. That really affected my sleep a lot. - Really? - Oh yeah. - Were you drinking a lot? - Not a lot. Not like Burt levels. But like last time I was sober, I was with him. We were all, it was like, it was a great table. It was like Taylor Sheridan and his wife. My wife was there, Burt and his wife. David Goggins and his wife. - Oh wow. - And then a bunch of my professional pool player friends.

That's a fun table. Oh, it was fucking phenomenal. We had so much fun. We all had dinner together after the UFC fight, and Burt is just throwing back martinis. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I definitely made the right choice. Yeah. I definitely made the right choice. I'm watching him. He's slowly turning into a human grape in front of my eyes. He's whoo.

Fucking red in his face. He was hilarious. He was. I'll tell you that. At the table, we were having a lot of laughs. Yeah. But I was like- He can knock them down, dude. He can really knock them down. Bro, he found out we were leaving, so he ordered two more to down on the way out the door. He just downed two martinis. Oh, I'll have two more. Like, just down these martinis on the way out the door. I'm like, this is fucking preposterous. It's preposterous. And then I talked to him, and he goes, I got all my blood work done. Perfect. Perfect.

Everything's perfect. I know. How's that possible? He always says that. And I saw somebody comment the other day on our podcast. They go, the documentary about Bert's doctor who says blood work is perfect is going to be unbelievable. It's a complete charlatan. It's got to be, dude. It's got to be. Dirty lab coat with a fucking mouse in his pocket. Some crazy guy. It's going to be complete lunatic.

He was like, you're great. Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's so funny. Yeah, we had dinner and he was like, wine, wine, anybody want wine? And I was like, I'm good. And he's like, we'll do a bottle of wine for the table. And nobody had wine, so he just dumps the bottle into his glass. And he can drink it in like five minutes. It's crazy. Yeah, it's bizarre. Well, it's obvious, like, it's got to be an...

adaptive thing right like running is yeah if you run never you can't run a marathon right but if you run a lot you can run a marathon sure you get used to it your body gets accustomed to putting in the miles five before work every day you know we always talk about that freak show shit he has in him like he's freaky yeah he's freak we did the 5k

In Tampa. We had like 8,000 people come out this year. That's crazy. And so many people that are like...

You know, making. Look at that. Yeah. Making leaps. By the way, how good is Jelly Roll look? Dude. Do you know what he's down? 200 pounds. Yeah. And from last year, 130. That's amazing. And he's like, I want to lose another 100. That's insane. So what's he at now? He's at 340. So he wants to get down to 240. Wow. He wants to get to 240. He's a big guy. For him, 240 is probably right. Yeah, it's probably. And by the way, we were talking before he got there.

The 5K had, it was in Raymond James Stadium where the Bucks play. So I was like, well, how are we mapping out 3.1? Well, the only way to do that in a venue of this size is you had to like use every, you know, square inch of the place. So they had us go up the ramp. Like if you're going to go

Up to the top. There's a ramp that goes up. It's nine stories up of all incline. And then you go across, then you go down, then you go up again. Oh, a lot of incline. Like half a mile plus of incline, right? So before Joey gets here, I'm like, I don't know if he can do this, man. You know what I mean? Like he's a big guy still. Knees, cardio, all this shit. Right. Dude, he fucking smashed it. That's incredible. He did great. Did he hire a trainer? What is he doing? I think some people in his-

I know. He has a flip phone that doesn't even – I don't even know if you can get texts on it. Yeah, he just chucked his phone out. Apparently, all the years of drinking, he just gave his phone number out to so many people. He's like, fuck it. And they decided instead of getting a new number, which is what you should do, he's like, I'm just – no phone. That's fucking awesome, by the way. It's crazy. I love – I used to panic when I left my phone behind. Now when I forget my phone, I'm like, oh, this is going to be a great day.

I left my phone. I'll get it later. I feel fine. It's a great feeling. Yeah. Yeah, we're all prisoners. We are totally prisoners. We're prisoners and it's going to get worse. Oh, this is the thing I wanted to tell you. So some of the Bucs players came out, the offensive linemen. These are absolute beasts. 6'5", 6'6", 330, like just fucking giants. They're gorillas. Yes.

And we're doing all this silly competition stuff. Like we hit the golf simulator, throw a fucking spear into like a bale of hay. And then they're like, oh, we need one more thing. So we have a beer stein holding contest.

Oh, Burt won that? Yeah, he beat fucking all pro. He's been whole, that's like, come on, man. But look at these fucking guys. Does that make sense? It does make sense, but you still go like. Those skinny guys can throw a baseball a lot faster than these dudes. It's just crazy to me, though. Not to me. The upper bodies on these dudes, I'm like, no, these guys. Yeah, he's going to win. He's used to holding beers. Yeah. He's used to holding drinks. I couldn't do it. I tapped out. My arm just gave out.

Look at him. He's still smiling. Oh, yeah. He had nothing wrong. That's insane. Yeah. And then, yeah, they slowly fell. I bet if he did his left arm, it would fall off. Ha ha!

I bet he literally wouldn't be able to. He's been holding up drinks so long. Also, like, toasting crowds for so long. Look at this. Yeah. He beat everybody. He should hold out and just humiliate them after he's done. Just keep going. Oh, he held it up after he was done. That big guy looks like he's ready to break. He gave up. Yeah. Look at Burt. Didn't even. Look at this. Yeah. Just insane.

He's got incredible genetics. If you wanted to be an athlete, he'd be an incredible athlete. Yeah, I think so. If he was super dedicated to it, yeah. Yeah, he's just trapped in booze. But it's also made him very rich, so I don't know what to say. Working out. I love him. I don't want him to change, but I do. I mean, I want him to be healthy. But when we first started doing Sober October, it was essentially just because we were worried Burt was going to die. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Well, he's still here. I mean, the first one was the weight loss thing. Blood works perfect. Yeah. Yeah, it's nuts. What type of resistance is that? I don't know. I think it's like 100 and something. 100 and something? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm obsessed with that squeeze machine. You know that thing? Oh yeah, that measures your grip? Yeah, I got 161 and I want to get 190. Oh, so you're training for it. Yeah. You have one here? No, I think we do. Yeah, we do out there. Yeah, out in the hallway. But we do at the club.

And so when the club, when I first did it, I think I got 147. I was like, well, this is bullshit. Yeah. And then I got up to 161 without these things. I bet. Just from working out a lot. I bet David has a crazy grip strength. Which David? Lucas. Oh, yeah. He's a big guy. Big hands. Big hands. Jamar has one. Jamar Neighbors, I think he got 167. Dang.

Yeah. George Strong. That's crazy. You've seen him with his shirt off, right? Yeah, he's jacked. Yeah, jacked. But, you know, we've had some, like, big dudes come in there and do it. I don't know who's got, like, the record on that thing. The record's got to be... The UFC had a bunch of guys do it. I forget who had the highest. But I think...

I think Alex Pereira was like 180. He was up in the like- He's a big fuck. I didn't realize how big he- I didn't realize- Because you know TV is so deceptive. Oh yeah, he's big. And then I saw somebody I know standing next to him and I was like, holy shit. Where's Oliveira? 97? Oh, that's crazy. He didn't even try. They're also doing their left hand. Michael Chandler? 113. What? What?

No, he's doing his right hand. Are you doing your opposite hand? Because Paul Craig, I think, is a lefty. 126. Bo Nickel. He's a lefty, too. So they're doing their opposite hand? They're doing the opposite hand. What's his? 153. Wideman's strong as fuck. Let me see what he's got. 153. Stipe's huge. What's he got? He's a left-hander, too, yeah. Fireman strength. He's a big fucking dude, though. 131. Wow, that's crazy. Other hand. Other hand. Other hand.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Second attempt. 155. All right, so great. I'm stronger than all those bitches. There you go. Fuck yeah. But I'm trying to get to 190. 190 is crazy. I think this is like 115 or something like that. I forgot what it is. Some of those arm wrestling guys? Oh, yeah. They have freaky forearms. Oh, yeah. I was watching this one guy who's a climber.

Who's a professional climber. Oh, when they do this. Yeah, he has this basement gym. I might have saved the video.

But I think if you find it on YouTube, it's like I've never seen strength like this. This guy has calves growing off of his forearm bone. It's like a calf. Yeah. And he's doing one finger chin-ups. I've seen. I don't understand it. With like a centimeter of hold. Like it's the tiniest little lip that his finger's resting on, and he's pulling his whole body up. This guy, but, I mean, he's doing the same thing.

Yeah. But look at that. That's crazy. It's not this guy. The other guy is like super jacked, his forearms are at least. He's not like bodybuilder size, but the musculature is crazy. I saw one of those guys who I guess is in the rock climbing, mountain climbing world. He's considered one of the best. Yeah, that's the guy. That's the guy. So this guy does a bunch of freaky shit. What does this dude do? Magnus Matipas.

Yeah, look at the fucking – look at that one-arm thing. See that? The size of the grip? Yeah. Look how fat that grip is. Like doing a one-arm chin-up is crazy. Look at his back, dude. It's crazy. But doing a one-arm chin – look at the size of his fucking forearms. Yeah. Doing a one-arm chin is crazy, but a one-arm chin-up with a fat grip like that is off the charts nuts. Yeah. Like his strength must be insane. But you look at him like right there, like his neck and everything, he doesn't look like that strong of a guy. Right.

It's very deceptive because with climbers, you can't have, you don't need traps. You can't have like excess stuff. So everything is very, like look at his forearms. Look at his grips. The size of his fucking forearms when he's doing that is crazy. See if you can isolate when he was doing that with his forearms.

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Is he the one who did a workout with Larry Wheels? Did you ever see that? No, that's a different guy. But yeah, I've seen that too. You've seen that? Yeah, I think it might be that guy. Might be. Yeah, I've seen him on YouTube. Is it? Yeah. But he's blown away by this guy. This guy.

It's like mountain climbing, if you think about it, just the amount of reps that you're picking your body weight up and holding, like gymnasts. Who's more jacked than the guys who do the rings? No. They're super jacked. Look at his forearms. Back up a little second and just freeze it.

Look at it. Freeze it right there. Freeze it. Look at that left fucking forearm. Yeah, that's crazy. That's nuts, man. There's a split in the muscle. That's a calf. Yeah, it's a calf. That's a calf. That's like a strong calf. And this is like a big endorsement for calisthenics basically, right? Calisthenics are huge. Yeah. They're huge. It's a big part of my workout. Really? Oh, yeah. I do a lot of calisthenics. I still do the 100 push-ups every day and the 100 bodyweight squats every

But I do chin-ups, dips, and L pull-ups. You know, like, so you're... With a close grip, with the legs extended. Yeah. I do all those. Really? They're huge. Yeah, it's... You want to be able to... And you know the thing I do a lot of do? I do...

Hang from a bar like this where I swing my toes up and I touch the bar. Mm-hmm So it's like really works the core - that's like being able to manipulate your own body weight is crucial Yeah, because those gymnasts are like you're like some of them like I've never touched weights I'm just doing this shit which is nuts and they have Yeah, because they're doing that their muscles are like that because they're doing you know eight hour sessions and

But you can get a lot done with your body with just dips and chin-ups. A lot. Dips are incredible. Yeah. So good. I mean, that was like, I think when Arnold would talk about chest, he was like, that was like the cherry on top for the workouts was doing. He's like, we always would do dips for this chest. And you can do weighted dips, too. Yeah. Dips are so easy to do with weight or weight.

throw a chain over your neck or put a weight vest on or something like that. Yeah. That's another thing I found, like just a 25 pound weight vest where it doesn't feel like anything when you're wearing it. But when you do stuff with it on like chin ups and pull ups, like, holy fuck. Yeah. Giant. So different. And then when you take that thing off, you're like, oh man. Right. So imagine being 25 pounds too heavy.

Yeah. And then imagine being Jelly Roll. So Jelly Roll's walking around 200 pounds too heavy before, at least. So it's actually 300 pounds, right? Because he wants to lose another 100. Yeah. So imagine just carrying around everywhere you go. You got a squat rack, like a real bar stuffed with plates, and you're just carrying that through life. Yeah. That's what they're doing. That's great. That's why those guys' fucking lower bodies are always...

crazy when they lose weight. Oh, Ralphie May used to have the biggest calves in the world. Yeah. His legs were like carrying that. Tree trunks. Oh, my God. Yeah. Just carrying around that body all day. That's nuts. Mm-hmm. And if they trim down enough, the quads are still humongous. Yeah, if Bert lost weight, he would get weaker. But you do get weaker when you lose weight. Yeah. I mean, that's a fact. Yeah, that's always a mass moves mass. It's also like to lose weight, to lose body fat, your body has to think something's wrong. Yeah.

Like it's very difficult to maintain mass, like maintain muscle mass while you're losing fat. It's hard. That's hard. You got to be real careful with everything. Yeah, that's true.

And you got to try not to lose too much weight too quick because a lot of people with losing weight, like a lot of people become food addicts and then addicts act like addicts and you start thinking, I got to lose it all right now. And so you starve yourself. It's not the way to go. And you just work out eight hours a day and well, you're going to lose all your muscle too. Everything. You're going to lose everything and you're probably going to get injured because your body's going to like, hey, fucking idiot. Yeah. And then.

Give you that tendonitis. How about a little back bulge? How about a fucking sore knee? How about plantar fasciitis? Slow the fuck down. Your body tries to figure out a way to slow you down. Yeah. Slow and steady is the way, for sure. Yeah, it just sucks. You know, you want to get, if you've realized you fucked up, it would be nice if you could just get better quick. Like, oh, I know. I just, I got a month before summer and I'm 50 pounds overweight. Fuck! Fuck!

I want to lose another 10, 15 right now. What do you want to do to do it? Just dial in. It's really about consistency, I feel like, with me. My window for when I go, oh shit, is just so much smaller than it used to be. So right now I'm like, oh, I've slid a little bit. I've been on tour. I've been doing all this shit.

I just have to... Tour, it's hard, right? It's hard. Because you're like, I'm working. Fuck it. Cheeseburger. Let's eat. Let's eat pizza. Let's go. Sometimes it's that. Sometimes it's also just that, like, you know, I get into this rhythm of the way I'm eating and training at home, which is pretty good. Yeah. And then you get out there and it's like, fuck, you know, we got on three planes and you're just tired. You just don't do it. Yep. And then, yeah, you just order whatever to eat. So you just feel it, like, slowly come apart. But...

I feel like I'm also at a place where I know if I dial in my diet and make sure I stay on top of the training, I can shed this 10 pretty... Yeah, you've done it before. Yeah. You did it pretty well. You figured it out. And then you also have muscle memory now. I think it's hard when you're traveling because you're just...

Anytime you're traveling, your energy level goes down. Yeah. It's like you got to figure out things to mitigate that energy level going down. And then counterintuitively, the best way to do that is to work out. Yeah, I know. Which doesn't seem like it makes any sense because you're tired. I don't want to work out. A lot of times we do the land and lift. Got to do that. Like land and go. Yep, land and go. Land and go. It is crazy how I do a lot of three-day, three, four-day weekends for tour.

Man, a lot of times on that third or fourth day, you're in your third or fourth city, and you're like, fuck, I am wrecked today. Just like another plane, another time zone. Do you take a lot of vitamins? I take a pretty good amount of vitamins, yeah. Yeah, that's important too. Take a lot of vitamins. And then it's hard to be strict with your diet when you're on the road, but the big one is alcohol.

I'm lucky in that regard because I'm not a big boozer. Yeah. I don't know how Bert does it. I started eating these David bars. Oh, those are great. Those are great. Yeah, I think Peter T is involved in that, right? I don't know if he is. Maybe. Yeah, they're delicious. They're great. Boy, they make you fart. I love farting. 28 grams of protein, 150 calories, no sugar. They're great. Yeah. They're great.

Yeah, there's a bunch of good options now that you can bring with you on the road if you get hungry. Keep you from eating bullshit. From eating bullshit. That's all I'm trying to, like, sometimes I go, like, oh, it was great. Today was a great day. And then it's just dinner. So you just, like, just don't fucking ruin your day. Have you ever had carnivore snacks? Do you know what that is?

No. The carnivore snacks ribeye is my go-to. I bring that on the UFC broadcast. I give them to Daniel Cormier and me. We eat them. It's like sliced ribeyes that are just dried, but it's got the fat on it. It's good. Yeah, you don't feel guilty at all. If you're hungry and need a snack, just meat and salt. Perfect, perfect snack. And the company's called Carnivore? Yeah, Carnivore Snacks. Snacks with an X. But it's not like...

It's not jerky. They describe it as like meat pastry. Yeah. It's good snack food. I like it. Yeah, just to keep from going off the rails. That's all you're trying to do? That's all I'm trying to do is just mitigate the damage of the day. I have a whole folder on my phone saved up of food that I really can't eat. Really? Just where I look at restaurants like, oh, that's gross.

What do you miss the most when you are trying to eat healthy? Italian food. Italian food. Pasta. Yeah, pasta and crazy sandwiches. Oh, my God. We went to Carbone. Oh, in New York? Yeah. They got one in Vegas now, too. I know. I think they've actually had the Vegas one for a while. It's so good, dude. It's so good. So good. That rigatoni with vodka sauce.

It has a little kick. They put a little spice in it. Oh, that's good. That's so good. It's tough to beat Italian food. It really is. It's tough to beat it just for pure, that pleasure of just overstuffing yourself. We were there for last summer. It was like every day. Yeah. And the thing is I didn't blow up.

No? No. I thought I would. I mean, I'm sure I gained a few, but I thought I was like, oh, this is going to be fucking terrible. But I think a big thing there versus here is portion sizes. You know, like there's no such thing as they don't go, here's your pasta, here's a fucking bowl like this. Right, right. Well, I think in Italy, the real thing is the food's different. I think our food is poison. It's so bad, right? I mean, I saw, oh my God, I saw this lady on your show. I saw a clip.

Talking about all these health epidemics, like the full run of stats where she was like one and two for cancer and this and that. Was it Cali means? She was a...

I think she was a doctor, right? Is she a doctor? Well, I don't think she finished her doctorate or her medical school training because I think she got to the position where she realized that most metabolic diseases are being caused by food. But that's the thing is like that's the big takeaway, I think, from that is like you had this conversation with, you know, I have with people all the time who travel abroad and you're just like.

Everything in Japan was fucking amazing. Yeah. The food. And then you look at their longevity, which is like record-breaking when you compare it to most of the world. Definitely compared to ours. Definitely compared to ours. Yeah, we have the worst health stats in the Western world. It's our food. Because it's all like- Because corporations. Yeah. Because corporations profit off keeping you fat and sick. Yeah.

So the best way to make money from food is to get you addicted to food that they can sell you. So they sell you a tremendous amount of cheap, shitty food that has a bunch of preservatives and garbage in it. Yeah. So it's, you know, potato chips and all sorts of different snacks and all sorts of different things. Yeah.

And then you have your enriched, air quotes, flour that's got a bunch of shit poured into it. And it's a bunch of complex glutens in the grains. And then you have glyphosate, which other countries have banned, but we use everywhere. And 90 plus percent of people have glyphosate in their blood and they test it, which is Roundup, that chemical pesticide and herbicide.

We have herbicides that kill your fucking endocrine system. We're poisoning ourselves. It's really sad. You know, we're growing stuff at home now. We have a hundred pound garden. Yeah, I talked to Christine about it. It's pretty dope. And that's just delicious. Yeah, that's the way to go. The lettuce and the tomatoes and it gets all kinds of veggies. Tastes like real food. Yeah. You do taste the difference. 100%. Yeah, which reminds me of when you're abroad, right? Yeah. Because you...

In Italy or in Japan, you have a tomato, you have a strawberry, and you're like, whoa. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is what it's supposed to taste like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We make stuff that can sit on the shelf forever. That's why our tomatoes look like they're albino tomatoes. They're hard. Yeah. Our tomatoes are hard. Yeah. Like, why is a tomato hard?

Like, what is that about? Why does it stay hard for, like, weeks? Just sits there. And then we just keep ingesting that. Yeah, it's terrible. And then you get all this inflammation in your body. And, you know, we've sort of genetically modified a bunch of things so we could feed a bunch of people, so we could have large numbers of people. And there's no benefit to that. How much of this, like, do you think is related to the fact that we have so many more people than some of these places? Oh, yeah, that's a fact. But...

It's not just that. So I think there's a bunch of factors and everybody wants to be real binary about it. Sedentary lifestyle is a big one. There's a large percentage of our population that doesn't move enough. They don't exercise. They don't do anything physical. So you got that. And then you got years and years and years and years of doing that, which eventually catches you. Yeah. And so that's what the people that start showing up at the hospital.

You know, it's metabolic health. Right. So and then you have lack of understanding of nutrition, which is they think, oh, you're some fuckhead doctor that tells you just off to eat a balanced diet. You don't need vitamins. Yeah. Well, that doctor is fat and stupid and probably has a bunch of diseases and he's on pills himself. Yeah. Shut up.

Probably never even went to through any nutrition training, you know in in medical school They get about six hours of nutrition training. I think it's crazy that you know Especially we have kids in school you realize that schools still they don't emphasize nutrition or finance I feel like that's another crazy thing Oh, yeah is to keep people from understanding how finance works at all It is crazy, right? Like you're teaching kids about how to prepare yourself for the world and you don't teach them about debt or

and about interest. The first thing that happens when you're a freshman in college is you walk through the student union and they go, you want a credit card? You're fucking 18. Yeah. And they're like, you're like, yeah, it's got 29.9% APR. It's awesome. They're preying upon you.

Yeah. They're literally preying upon you. And the school lets it. Yeah. The school is like, yeah, go ahead. Oh, they don't give a fuck about you. That's fucking crazy. You're grist for the mill. Yeah. You're just literally, you're paying fucking, you end up paying $300 for a Coke you bought. You know what I mean? Because you just like scanned it. Like this is insane. Yeah, it's insane. And we don't teach anybody. It's really crazy. Well, also you get it in their head that they're fucked because the debt that they're

They're getting involved in with student loans is the only debt we have that you can't get rid of. Yeah. The only debt. Yeah. You can't forgive that. There are people right now who have Social Security getting docked. Their Social Security is getting docked.

For their student loan. So they made it to death and they owe money to the government for loans that did them no good at all because they're living off Social Security. So the government gets to steal more money from your Social Security. We don't have to pay you. So nuts. And meanwhile, like today, the reality is you can get that education online. Yeah. Almost online.

All of the books on any sort of subject are available. Mine is useless, my degree's useless. What's yours then? Communications. Well, you're a communicator. Well, yeah. Worked out. You probably, like, they use you to sell more tickets. They probably do. This guy, look, he went to our university. You should come. Learn like Tom. You know, I didn't, like, you don't, I didn't learn anything. But how much did you have to pay to go to school?

Oh, man. How much were you in debt for? How much was the tuition? I think tuition when I was there was something like $6,000 or $7,000 a semester. So like $12,000, $13,000 a year, which, you know, whatever. Now, fucking tuitions now are like...

$50,000, $80,000 a year. It's crazy. Imagine you take on that loan. You start your workforce. You have $300,000 in loans. God forbid you go to graduate school. Oh, my God. And then you're never getting out of the hole. I mean, I think this is why some doctors and lawyers become sociopaths because you are dealing with so much debt and you realize no one gives a fuck about you, so you don't give a fuck about anybody else either. Wow. Yeah. It's great for society. Yeah. Yeah.

It's also like there's two things that can be true, right? I do think that you kind of have to – kids have to like –

Get to work and get something going and get a path in your life. And when you're going to college, it's like you're out of high school. Okay, now you're on your own. You're in college. You got to keep up your GPA. You got to get your degree. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. So there is value in that. Yeah. But then also it's too much money and you're probably not going to do anything with that degree. And if you don't have the degree, people think you're a loser. Yeah.

It's very strange. It's very strange what's going on because you're allowing these corporations to prey upon children. Yeah. Because, like, you're an 18-year-old child. You don't understand anything. You don't understand anything, and then all of a sudden you're in college and you're saddled down with unstoppable debt, and you have this fucking circus of people around you that are also trapped. And you didn't understand what that meant, what you were signing up for. No way. It's the same reason, like...

You have a conversation with somebody who's that age, and you're like, oh, you realize that our brains are different, right? Like, you talk to, like, a... Yeah, they're not developed yet. They're not fully developed yet. They don't understand everything. Especially boys. Way more clearly. Yeah, boys don't get developed until, like, 25. Girls are pretty...

They can figure out the game earlier. They're not as saddled down by testosterone. Yeah, they're... Their frontal lobe develops earlier. Yeah, ours does really take till about 25. Yeah, because you're retarded. But that's also how you trick them into going to war. Yeah.

You know? It's part of it. Like, hey, we need you to get, you know, the Gulf of Tonkin? Terrible thing those Vietnamese did. We're going to need to send you overseas. Try that shit on a 40-year-old guy. You're like, what? No fucking way. What happened? Let me Google. Hey, I Googled Gulf of Tonkin. Turns out... Yeah. No.

You guys fucking faked it. What else are you faking to get us to go to war? Oh, my God. You guys fake things to start war so you can make money? That's crazy. How are you not in jail? How's no one in jail for faking things to start wars? Zero accountability. So then you're like, well, fuck it. They got me with the student loan. They got me with this. They got me with that. And you just get accustomed to life fucking you. Yeah. You're just like, oh, society just fucked.

fucks you over. They just take from you, take from you, and saddle you with debt. Can I tell you this theory? What you're talking about applies to, I think, extends to our appearances. And what I mean is...

Today a lot of times people talk about how people wear like fucking flip-flops and pajamas talking about bird again Well, he's not here. No to defend himself But like you get on a plane and you see people in pajamas, right? Right and they in the 50 years ago they'd be like in a suit and I think part of the reason why people

their appearance is this. I think some of it is tied to a lack of hope, meaning that so many years ago, you would embark on your path in life and

thinking that there's hope, I can have the American dream, I can own the house, I can get the things I wanna get. And so many people today are like, there is no hope, so fuck it. I'll just, I'll go out in my fucking sleepwear. - There's a little bit of that. - I think there's a connection to that.

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If they want control and power, which is ultimately what every government wants. It's not a conspiracy theory. Like every government wants control and power. What's the best way to acquire control and power? Have the people give up. Have them give up. Yeah. This is fucking I give up. I give up. Fuck it. I'm wearing flip flops. Fuck it. I don't care. Because that means I'll do what you say. I'll do what you say when you give up. That's what's really scary to me about AI automation and then ultimately universal basic income.

You're going to get a lot of giving up. And then the government's going to clamp down on you even more. Yeah. And then it's going to be haves and have-nots on a scale that we've never seen before. When you have companies that are in charge of these automated taxi services, and that's the only way people get around...

And the government gives you a certain amount of credits so you don't have to ever worried about traveling. You have credits as long as you're a good boy, Tom. Yeah. As long as you follow the rules, as long as you don't say anything crazy about Israel, as long as you don't do anything nutty, you know, about vaccines, as long as you don't step out of line when it comes to the election. Then you don't say anything crazy about this or about that or I mean, take your vaccines. And if that's a real possibility that they're just going to extract vaccines.

extract money out of us or attempt to attempt to control like this is the grand this is the grand battle of control the more they have power over narratives it's also like

There's things that are going on right now. Like, we were just talking about... I was with some friends this weekend. We were talking about these bot farms. Like, there's evidence of bot farms that people have used to, like, go and attack people with certain things. Like, a bunch of different countries use bot farms. I'm sure a bunch of different corporations use bot farms, too. But no one's getting in trouble for it. Like, if you can...

pretend that you're mass groups of people that are getting upset about something.

You could just pretend. And there's no – you could pretend. You could just like – you can hire people to go protest and fly them in on jets. Like that's happening right now. There was this guy in Maine and he made this video where he was hired to drive these people to the airport. And he's trying to figure out like where are all these people going? I'm driving this busload, two busloads full of people at the airport. And they were saying, well, we're going to a protest.

And like, what protest? And then he goes and Googles like where they're flying to. It's like, oh, this is a paid protest. They're paying people to show up and pretend that it's a protest. So it's like there's puppet masters that are manipulating world events. And

That's legal. You're allowed to pay people to go protest, which seems like that should be illegal. You shouldn't be able to pretend that you have an organic uprising against some- Well, it's giving people this illusion. It has, which is the entire Kamala Harris campaign. I mean, that's what it was. The whole thing was astroturf. Did you see that? It was before he left-

The former FBI director talking about how China just doesn't play ball with any international rules. Oh, I'm sure. And he's like how they don't respect IP at all. Oh, yeah. So he's like they'll just come in and they'll get a spy to give them, let's say, the IP of some whatever industry, wind energy. Mm-hmm.

They'll just take it and be like, we have it now. Yep. Start this company. And then like this company goes bankrupt because they were, and they just. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. They made shit. Whole Apple stores. Yeah. That are fake Apple stores. So insane. Everything's fake. Fake laptops, fake phones. I saw a guy too. Cause like the, the evolution. Cause I always think about if you try to get online with one of those, I'd have no idea. Can you get an Apple ID? Like, does it work? It can't. I'm imagining that it can't.

But, like, you know, I always think about the fact with AI how we're in, like, version one. Right. And we're all blown away by it already, right? Right, right. And there was a watch guy online who was like, I have two, like, Daytonas. Oh, yeah. And he was like, dude. He goes, this is the best one I've ever seen. Fakes, yeah. The fake, he had to take it apart. Perfect.

And to look at parts that were inside, like a spin wheel, he goes, oh, this is missing the logo. So which begs the question, like, what is it? Like, what are you buying? Do you want it from this company only? Or do you want a Rolex Daytona? Like, what do you want? Well, I mean, I think if in the case of that, you know that the...

The movements, the actual inner workings of the real one are far superior. Are they, though? I think so, yeah. Why? Yeah. Well, I assume that. What if the other one has a 72-hour battery or power supply, too? I mean...

What if you 3D print every single aspect of the watch? I wouldn't know. That's the same thing. Pretty close, I guess. Right? But it can be the same thing. Like, we're not talking... Like, my watch. Like, there's a Panerai. Yeah. This could be fake. I mean, I bought it from my friend, so I'm sure it's real. Yeah. But, like...

It's not a fake Ferrari. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you got a fake Ferrari, like, oh, my God, these tires have no traction. This suspension sucks. I hate the idea of fake watch, though. Right. But why? Because it used to be poor.

Maybe it's because I used to be poor. I also just don't respect the copying of it. Right. It's bullshit. Yeah. Well, you know, I wouldn't buy one because you're contributing to some. But it's kind of funny. It is kind of funny. You can get one for $40. That's insane. It's like a $7,000 watch. It's really crazy. Yeah.

It's insane. And it's insane that it's tricking these watch experts, right? Yeah. But I don't really understand the... Yeah, look at these. So one of those is fake? Yeah, the right. The one on the right is fake? Yeah. Yeah, I'd buy that. Looks perfect. I'll take it. How much? He's pointing out... Look, can you see the difference? Like, who... Imagine... Who knows this on the spot? You wouldn't know this on the spot, right? Yeah. Also, my vision sucks. Mine does, too.

So I'd have to like take it out and do this. Like, I don't know. Like this one, I can't even, I guess I can read the time. I can read the date rather.

But I mean, they're... You know, but the little, the tiny-ass deep windows. That's a struggle. Like, if it's dark in the room, I'm not reading that. My vision absolutely sucks. That's incredible, though. The replicas are crazy. They're so good. They're so... But again, like, try making a replica 911 Turbo S. Good luck, fuckface. Good luck, yeah, I know. Good luck, fuckface. But you can make one of those. But wait, how does... Because this, I... Okay, I understand at least...

what you're doing in the watch thing, right? Then the person buys the far less expensive one and they get the feeling, I guess, that people go, oh, you have the real one. Right, right, right. But if you're getting an Apple product, a fake Apple product. You don't know you're getting a fake Apple product if you're in China. So the whole thing's a scam? The whole store's fake.

And everyone was in on it. It's an Apple store. Do you think people that are hired think they're in? It has the fucking logo. That's an Apple fake factory rated in China. This is 10 years ago, though. It goes on to say that it tricked the employees. They thought they were working at a real Apple store. That's the craziest part. Yeah, it's like it's layers of severance. It just goes deeper and deeper and deeper. Yeah. That's really crazy. You ever follow the YouTube channel Stance Elements?

uh-uh it's um it's it's a guy that just works on cars dope and one of the things he's doing he's building his own ferrari f40 that's cool so instead of buying one for like three million dollars which is okay

I'm going to say something that's going to piss off these Ferrari people. Yeah. It ain't worth it. Okay. It's not worth $3 million. It's not that good. It's not. If it was new today, you'd be like, this should be taken off the market. Right. Like this thing has zero fucking traction control. But because it's a classic, it's worth like a ton of money. So what he's doing is making it better. Stance works. Did I say stance elements? Yeah. That's the B-Boys. That's the break dancers, which by the way, stance elements are...

How did I fuck that up stance elements by the way is also amazing we could talk about that, but this guy stance works He this is his own. That's not a Ferrari. He's building from all the parts online So he bought all the body panels online and then he made his own frame And then he bought a Ferrari engine from like a different model of Ferrari and he's putting that in it Oh, this is like a multi

Journey that this dude has been on that I've been watching all the videos whenever he has a new video I watch it He does a lot of dope shit, but this is a guy that like really loves cars, and he's super smart and when he's talking about cars It's fascinating cuz like he's also a fan of the original M5 which I've thought about getting one of those yeah, not very fast But apparently like super engaging driving experience the original M5 which I think was like

I want to say it was like 280 horsepower. In what year? 80-something. 80-something? Yeah, which, by the way, I think it was 88 maybe. Back then, that was a lot. I have an 89-something.

that I bought. Ooh. E30 M3. Ooh, yeah. And I have a S54 engine going into it. Oh, Jesus. So that should be... How much horsepower is in that? I don't know. That's more than it came with. I have an E46 M3. Those are fun. I love it. Yeah.

Yeah. It's so balanced. Yeah. It's like such an engaging driving experience. That's what I'm into. I'm into that. I'm not into chasing the lower zero to 60 times. Yeah, that's nonsense. Yeah. Like if you ever use that on a public road, you're an asshole. Yeah.

But engaging cars, you could drive the speed limit and enjoy the shit out of them. It's just fun just going around a corner and just accelerating to 60. They're fun. That's fun. You feel more like an old air-cooled Porsche. You feel it. You're feeling it. Did you get that one? You had one being built. Yeah, it's not done yet. It's real close. It's exciting. That's the RSR project. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's rad. Very excited about that.

It's like 350 horsepower, 2,000 pounds. Meanwhile, I have some crazy fucking car coming to me, too. What do you got? This Assetto Fiorino 296 GTB Ferrari. It's like 700, 800 horsepower. Christ. Yeah. I've seen your Blazer, but I watched a video on it. Yeah. Of those guys, the Velocity Motorsports guys? Awesome, yeah. Oh.

They're doing cool shit. Velocity did. They really went out with that one. That one's great. They do Scouts and Broncos, but they also just started doing Mustangs. Oh, nice. I took one of the Mustangs out. Oh, nice. Very fun. I think 67 Mustangs. So you get that beautiful style. Is that the one with the flared fender? Did you send me that? No. Did you send it to me? The green one?

No, that's a different one. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Every time I see something cool, I'm like, check this shit out. I sent you the other one. What did I send you? I sent you that...

That Giulia, that Italian one that the guy came to my place. Oh, yeah. That was fun as shit. The Alfa Romeo. Yes. Yeah. I've seen that online getting reviewed. It's a Restomod Alfa Romeo. I don't trust my people. No? No. I have one of my people's vehicles.

But generally, I don't trust my people. Oh, my God. I'm blanking on it. I just think they're eating pasta and staring at ass, and they're not going to do a good job. My car is made by either Germans who do meth or- Totem. That's what it was. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, dude. I towed one of these. This guy came- Ooh, baby. Look at that. It's fucking rad.

Totem Automobili. I did like it a lot. I didn't order one. I didn't order it. You didn't? Well, he's making a prototype for a whole new model. So I was like, I don't know. That's so sick. That looks like a James Bond car. It does. Goddamn. And it's 100% custom. I bet that thing flies. Dude, I was driving down Fairfax in L.A.,

In the rain. And he turned off the traction control. Oh, no. Yeah. Turned off? He turned it off. Why'd he turn it off? He was like, let it run. Explode emotion. Oh, no. And guess what? The emotion almost ended up wrapped around a fucking light pole. Did you spin? Dude, I was like, I corrected it, but I was like, panic. And I was like, fucking driving this guy. That's the fear of losing it in a Porsche. That rear engine whip.

You know that understeer that happens? Or oversteer? What is it called? Supply throttle, something throttle oversteer? When you lift. When you lift. Throttle oversteer. Yeah. And then the back end goes on you. Oh, yeah. It's a...

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Who is not it's literally something you have to be trained, which is that when something when you're in a car and you're at a certain rate of speed and you're approaching a turn or something, you feel anything going on you. You take your foot off the throttle. And what you don't realize is that that is going to it's going to make things worse. Yeah, because the momentum and the weight.

are going to be carried through. And actually, the only thing that'll keep you from usually losing it is to stay on throttle. Not necessarily give it a ton. Right. But you need that momentum to carry you through it. Right. And so it's just something that you... There's countless videos of somebody... Oh, yeah. ...in their new fucking car just going... And they just go into a tree. I just watched one on a new GT3 RS. I've seen that one. Oh. It's brutal. He's like 18. Horrible. And he did exactly that. Yep. He hits the turn, off throttle, tries to correct. Eee.

Bye. Bye-bye. Wreck. Painful to watch. Painful. But that is a bad element of that design. The rear weight. Yeah. Yeah. And also, it's like, is that really the best way to do it? Because, you know, everybody always said that the Cayman is the better car if they just gave it the same sort of love that they give the Porsche. I fucking love that car. The 911. The Cayman? I love it. Yeah. It's like my heart is...

is with that car. If you go like, what's the one you're in love with the most? Still that car. But isn't it interesting that like that car is not as prestigious? It's not as prestigious. Yeah. Why is that? That seems stupid. It's a whole thing too. And if you have like, you'll see people like, ah, you got the Cayman. You should have gotten the 911. I'm like, you should drive this fucking thing.

Yeah. But people that say that are all retarded. They kind of are. Yeah. Yeah. Anybody that says that is an idiot. I mean. You don't know anything about cars. Mid-engine. Because you have a Dynan, right? No, it's not Dynan. What's the company? Dynan did my BMW. Yeah. What's your company? Uh.

For that one, DeMond. Yeah, Rick DeMond did the upgrade on that. So what that is is what it should be from Porsche. They should take that big, juicy GT3 RS engine, or even crazier, take that GT2 RS. Throw it in that bitch. Throw it in that bitch. It just upsets 911 owners. That's it. It just fucks up their- They're a bunch of little fairies.

Yeah. If that upsets you, then you need to go find something else. You need to go do mushrooms on the mountaintop somewhere. By the way, did you like that? Did you feel it at all? I don't know what you're talking about. No.

Did you ever drive the GT4 RS they came out with like a year or two ago? No, I didn't. I heard it. I didn't drive it either. I'm sure it's dope, but it's also an automatic. It's all automatic. Come on, you pussies. Yeah. Like, what are we doing? Why are you buying a street car? Are you a crazy track guy? Because that's a track car. Okay, which is fine. Yeah. Which is fine. Yeah, take it.

But for the average person that, like, enjoy, like, make an enthusiast car that's a goddamn three pedal. Yeah. Make a manual. Well, thank God they still do. Yeah. They make some. I mean, a lot of places just don't.

It's them and BMW. Ford still makes them. They still do it with their Mustangs. I can't believe that Ferrari doesn't realize that if they did just a limited run. Oh, my God. It would sell like crazy. It would sell so crazy. Yeah, they gave up. They gave up. Lamborghini gave up. I wish they would. Thank God Porsche didn't. No, I know. But they did with some cars. Like a lot of their cars, you can't get the GTS now in a five-speed. You can't. Or, excuse me, a six-speed or a seven-speed, whatever the fuck they have now.

You can't get, I don't think you can get the S. You can't get the turbo. No, you can't get the turbo, yeah. You have to get the T or the regular. Maybe you can get the regular 911. I think you can get a regular 911 Carrera. GT3 you can get still, but you can't get the GT3 RS. Like, come on, guys. Shut up.

Just shut up. I think the audience should inform them, right? They should know that their fan base wants all that shit in manuals. It pisses me off about Corvette, too. You guys have the most dope shape now. The C8 Corvette is so sick, and you're putting out these insane ones like the Z06 and the ZR1, but it's still... I know. People want to... I don't know.

it's got to be like that all that has to be like cost analysis right it's a little bit of that and what is that rogues yeah i kind of quit those but i'll have one i love these i thought i was gonna have a hard time i quit them over the weekend really nothing i was like this is easy i think i'm lucky i think yeah i don't think i get physically addicted to stuff that way except coffee

Yeah. I've done that one where I took the whole day off coffee and I was like, why am I fucking yawning? Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Coffee gets me to headaches. But I like coffee so much and coffee's everywhere. I'm like, I don't think I need to quit that one. No. I didn't get headaches last time I tried to quit coffee. I quit for a couple of days and I was like, this is just rough.

But the nicotine pouches was nothing. That's great. It was super easy. I feel like I have some of that where I'm not that physically addicted to it. But, dude, I have friends that are like anything gets them. Like I had a guy who came over here to do a podcast, and he saw that someone had sent us some kratom stuff that I wound up throwing out. I was like, I don't want this shit anyway. And he's like, don't take that. I can't get off of it. Get that kratom away from me. I've got a real problem.

I'm like, really? I know someone 18 years on it. What? What? Yeah. 18 years on a shitty opium? Well, because they were using it to get off of opiates. Oh, God. And they can't go without it. Wow. Yeah. But the high is so like, whatever. Yeah, it's not. I tried it, and then people were telling me, be careful, be careful. Oh, Duncan loved it. We had some at the club. Yeah. And Duncan's like, hey, man, you got any more of that? Man.

I was like, keep it away from Duncan. Yeah. He's so funny, dude. He's the best.

He's the best, but we had a whole box of it there that Ron White had left there, and it was gone by Tuesday. I got in there on Tuesday. Oh, everyone went through it. Where did it all go? No, it was all Duncan. It was all Duncan. We drank all of them. I was drinking two and three a day, man. I go, you're not even supposed to drink one a day. It's like a half a dose, which is really weird. Why did they make one of them? Be two doses? Two doses. Yeah, that's crazy. It's a tiny little shot. That's a good way to get you onto it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like when you buy a bag of chips and it says like how many calories in it per serving. Six chips. Like, why is this little baggie not even a single serving? You know I'm going to eat more than that one bag. Of course they know. Piece of shit. Garbage tactic to get people into it. It's so predatory. It's just lies. You're lying about the amount of calories.

That's so funny. But I don't, I think I'm very lucky because I know people that get addicted to weed. Yeah. I have gone a long time without weed and never had any problem.

Yeah, people get physically affected. I didn't really realize that was a thing. I think it's just different genetics. It totally is. Look at Bert. A normal person who drinks as much as him would be dead. Yeah. You'd have real liver problems, and he doesn't have any problems. He's in the gym in the morning. It's crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. It's crazy.

So it's like you just got to deal with the cards you dealt. Like, why don't I have four aces? Well, you don't. You don't. So what are you going to do? Yeah. Are you going to just sit here and fucking complain about everything or what? You got to figure it out. Yeah. Figure it out, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, figure it out. You know, everybody needs love. Everybody needs support. But everybody also needs figure it out, bitch. Yeah, there's not enough of that. Exactly. There's really not enough of that. There's not. Because you really...

It's like you don't gain anything by doing the like, how come I don't get this? It's like, how come I'm not 6'6"? I don't know. I'm not. Just deal with it. Yeah, you got to just deal with it. I think that's a real problem where people, you know, if you think about like the...

You remember that documentary, The Secret, that stupid documentary? Oh, yeah. Like, all you have to do is think about things and you can make them happen. Yeah. Not really. That's bullshit. But it's a part of it. It's a part of making things happen. Like, you can't just say, I'm going to...

fucking breathe underwater i'm just gonna think about it until i could do it no you can't do that give it a shot yeah there's physical limitations to the human frame there's physical limitations for your particular human frame yeah you know you can't get taller you can't you can lose weight but you can't you can't really do much other than that yeah you can kind of get in good shape for what you got but what you got is what you got what you got yeah um

But there's a bunch of people that just think about their problems all the time. That's an obsession. And what it does is it carries you through time without having to deal with the problem because you just talk about the problem. Right, right, right. That's a big one. I know so many people who do that. And it becomes your focus is your problems rather than your solutions. Do you know how many people who live in Guatemala in a fucking dirt-floored condo?

Shaq would love your problems. Yeah, exactly. Your problems are not that big a problem if you're living in America and you have your health. You need that perspective change from people. Exactly. Yeah, there's a big thing of like...

If your problems become your identity, it's a fucking... Because I know people like that, right? Have you ever seen that video? The final boss of Woke? It's like this one trans man who's like, I'm a disabled trans man. I'm also on food stamps. I also have... It's a real person? And it's...

Donald Trump is trying to erase me. And it's like this is the identity. Like there's this existential battle. But this final boss has everything wrong with him. You're not him. You're a girl pretending to be a man. So it's like you've got everything wrong. You've got every issue. And it just keeps going on and on. Have you seen this, Jamie? Do you know it is? I think.

Sounds like somebody should try to get on stage. No, big fat stupid face. It's not going to work. The whole thing is just like it's so crazy that people will just like there's a value and a currency to being a victim. Yes. And so they'll add stuff. Social media has also helped that a lot. Because there's plenty of people that don't want to deal with their shit that'll go, yes, girl, you go, yeah. Incredible. Society's doing this to you.

Yeah. Did you hear about that lady that got fired from Equinox in Manhattan? She was late 47 times in 10 months, and she sued because of – she said she got fired for racism, and she won. She won? Because it's a jury, and she won $11 million. No. Yes, she did. No. She was late 47 times? Not only that. Like, you were working at Equinox. Like, you could work for all of time, and you'll never make $11 million. Yeah.

You're not going to make $11 million working in Equinox. But yet you won. And she only worked there for 10 months. She was late 47 times in 10 months. And that's why they were firing her? They're like, you're just perpetually late. They're like, bitch, you are always late. And then she's like, that's so racist. That's crazy. And she won. And she took him to court and won. They're definitely going to appeal that shit. Of course they're going to appeal. But the thing is, when you have a jury, you have a jury of people so fucking stupid, they don't get out of jury duty. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. And they might be like, yeah, fuck Equinox, man. Yeah, fuck Equinox. Give it to her. Fucking fuck the man, man. Because that guy's just too lazy to go to the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, fuck Equinox. Of course. Not just that. It's a corporation. You don't think of it as an individual. That's just a company that's going to fuck you over. That's why people don't feel bad stealing from work.

Yeah. You don't feel like you're stealing. If someone was working in your house and they were stealing from you, like they stole your forks, like where's my fucking fork? Yeah. This is bullshit. And then you find out a guy who worked for you stole your fork. Like you're fucking fired. But if an office, if like someone like takes a fork home, like if you have a kitchen in your office, we use a bunch of forks for staff.

yeah and someone takes that fork it's no big deal it's the offices we just need to order more forks man these forks keep disappearing and you go over tom's house one day and like tom's got four of the office force like did you steal the office force i forgot i forgot keep forgetting to bring them back because they don't belong to somebody right exactly it's not a human yeah it's a corporation which is also why corporations can act like psychopaths yeah because they're also not a human so they could just do whatever the they have to do which is why our food supply is so bad

Because they're just trying to maximize profit. They literally have a duty to maximize profit. My mom definitely thinks of corporations as they can deal with it. Of course. And I remember my dad used to tell this story that when they first got married, they were at a Holiday Inn and they were leaving. And then he was like, what is that in the suitcase? And it was their towels. And she was like, the towels. And he's like, you can't take that. She was like, why? Because it belongs to the Holiday Inn. Yeah.

It's theirs. And she was like, they have like a hundred of them. And he's like, yeah, it's not ours though. We can't. She's like, it's fine. And like everywhere I've gone with her, she's like, you know, she'd be like, can I take this? That's so funny. We've been places where I've been like, hey, sorry, my mom wondering if we could take this glass. She makes you ask? Yeah. Yeah.

And then I saw a video you were showing your mom these clips. Oh, yeah. The clips from your new Netflix show. Fucking amazing. It was amazing. I knew it was going to be a killer. I was like, she's going to hate it. And they were like, okay. So we set up a private screening for her. It's also like, why am I watching this? I don't know if you know, but you're my mom. It's just so funny. She's like, dude, she fucking, she hated the show so much. Oh, sure. She came over yesterday for Mother's Day.

And I was like, she goes, so, because on the rest of that thing, she made me promise that we're going to cut the first story. Yeah. She's like, you're definitely not going to use that, right? So eventually I was like, yeah, we're cutting it.

And so yesterday she was like, did you cut it? I go, of course not. It's fucking, it's Netflix's. And she was like, you lied to me. And I'm like, mom, I can't be like, hey, don't air the first one. She's like, well, that means you lied to me. So I'm never coming to a show again. And I'm never going to do anything like related to any of yours. And I go, promise? That would love if you never came to a show again.

Do you know how much of a fucking burden it is to have to babysit when you're there? I was talking to Shane Gillis about a bit he does where people getting upset. People he knows getting upset about a bit. Oh, yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'll stop doing that. Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. She found out, by the way, I was on Chrissy D and Giannis' podcast the day the Pope died or the day after. I was in New York. We're podcasting. I was like, oh, because my mom's like hardcore Catholic. Yeah.

And I was like, let's call her and just check on her. And I go, we'll just try to see if maybe the Jews did it. So I call her. I'm like, did you hear about the Pope? And she's like, I am devastated, though.

I go, I don't know what happened, if he was sick, if it was the juice. And she's like, what? And like, we had to cover our mouths. We had to cover our mouths and mute the phone. She's like, she goes, this is the craziest call I've ever received. The Pope died. Do you think the Jews did it? I'm like, I don't know.

I had to hang up the phone. And then like a week later, she goes, I was on YouTube and I find that you called me on a show to talk about this. She found it. She found the clip. Yeah. She found the endless well of us fucking with her on YouTube. Oh my God. That's so funny.

Speaking of the juice, have you seen fucking Kanye's new song? Bro. Bro. What? Here's the thing. What? First of all, kind of catchy. Well, that's the problem with it. That's the problem. It's like the guy from production, like he's never lost a step. He can make a beat. He's so talented. He's a genius. He's a talented producer, man. I do think it's like...

First of all, I think people are kind of done asking him questions because most of the shit he puts out is like self-release kind of commentary or thoughts. Because he's saying just fucking, you know. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. But there is a thing where that song is like, what are you doing, dude? Like, what are you doing for real? It's the ultimate pushing back. Yeah, I guess. But there is like, I think I have a pretty...

you know let things go kind of vibe to me obviously yeah your fucking show yeah i don't show's ridiculous it's a ridiculous show and i've always been like yeah say whatever you're gonna say but i do think like making a catchy song about that i'm like what are you doing man like you're just getting at a minimum you're just gonna get more people that think it's cool to say high like that's at the minimum well i think that's part of the program program yeah i think it's

part of what he's trying to do. But, I mean, is that cool to do? I guess if you're like, well, it's fun to troll the masses and get them to do that, okay. But what I'm saying is that, like, at a minimum, you're going to get

Less educated people to go like this is a fun thing to say and you're like, I mean is that good? You really want people just walk around be like, you know, it's tight man. How it Fucking insane. It's crazy. It is crazy, but it's also kind of a sign of the times I guess I was a chaotic world we live in it Yeah, and it's like okay. This is this kind of highlights the

The benefits, I mean, I want to say this carefully because I don't want to think any... I want to say real clearly, I don't support people saying that. I don't think it's a good thing to say. No. I don't say it. I certainly don't think... I don't think any racism is good. I don't think anti-Semitism is good. I don't think anti-Christianity is good. I don't think Asian hate is good. I don't think anything is good. But...

There's a benefit to just letting people talk like let people say whatever the fuck they want to say even if it sucks This is the benefit of Twitter, but this is also the bad part. It's like the fucking song is so many millions of hits Yeah on Twitter. It's been banned from every platform Yeah, but is it good to ban things from platforms or is it better to let it be out there?

I see what you're saying.

You were talking shit about Puerto Ricans. Look what happened to Tony. Nothing. Yeah. He's doing great. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if there's certain people that you're allowed to pick on and make jokes about or mock or say something and you can get away with it. Yeah. Well, I think he's made his point. I think we all get it now. It's never going to end. But how does it end? This is the question. When I was watching that song, first of all, I was by myself when I first saw the song. I was like, what is this?

yeah like no way yeah yeah no it's like no way no way and i'm watching on my phone like yo and then my first thought was how does this end because this ends this is gonna end there's gonna come a time where they're gonna realize like this is a problem yeah so how does it end does it end in assassination does it end in there's definitely people that want to kill him yeah i don't

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There's been times where his net worth has been reported at such a crazy amount. And then I remember funds were frozen and he was like, I don't have anything. And then it was all back. I don't know what his financial situation is. Well, they can't steal your money, but they can debank you.

Yeah, where no one will bank with you. Right, so it's like, how does that work? Like, where do you get your ATM card? Yeah. Is it from the bank of fucking Portugal? Like, what do you have to do? Like, how does that work? You know what I thought about when I was watching that video? I was like, how do you get...

I don't know. However many actors. That's easy. That's the easy part. I think it's crazy. I think a lot of people would be like, what? Oh, that's the easy part. You put out a casting call in LA. Everyone's soulless. They have no fucking soul. Nuts. They just want to get famous. You're going to do a project with Kanye. Okay, let's go. Let's do it. Also, I'm just acting just like that guy in Inglorious Bastards wasn't really a Nazi. Right. I'm not really a Nazi. Listen, man, I got to do what I got to do. I got kids to feed. Yeah. It's,

It's nuts. It's pretty nuts. He's look, he's super talented, man. I, one of my thoughts after hearing that song was like, man, I wish he would release the song with like a different, you know what I mean? With a different hook. Like, yeah, personally happen. No, I know he's not going to, but that's what I, one of my thoughts was, I was like, man, I wish he would. It's so crazy. It's so crazy because his last album before that was a banger. It's,

It's like he came out of the gate showing people that he still got it. Like, yeah, you might have pulled me off all these platforms. You might have debanked me. You might have taken away my Yeezy deal with Adidas. But damn, I still got it. And that one was released everywhere, right? Yeah. Oh, man, that's in the Spotify playlist that we play in the green room all the time. There's some fucking killer songs in that.

Yeah, he's he's classics. Yeah classics. He's got so many bangers Yeah, but you know this one. He's just like letting people I guess in his eye I mean, I don't know I haven't talked to him about it, but I guess he's like I'll do whatever the fuck I want I'm clear the fuck I want yeah clearly so I'm gonna do the one thing that you're never ever ever supposed to do I'm gonna make a catchy song. What's Heil Hitler? Yeah, yeah

It's just like, whoa. That is the ultimate, like, I'll do whatever the fuck I want. Yeah, and you had to say, like, in the casting, there's, like, a description of all the stuff. If you want to be a part of this production, you have to be comfortable with swastikas. Is that what's in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a diamond-encrusted swastika. That's also insane, dude. By the way, you know a juice hold'em that? Probably. Yeah.

Or at least supply the diamonds. Where'd the diamonds come from? That's insane. The Jewish people have been controlling diamonds for a long time. It's insane. They're very smart about the diamonds because the diamonds aren't even really that valuable anymore. You know what's fucking crazy in jewelry? Because see, this is one thing that I don't trust about. There's certain businesses where you're like, I don't know what I'm looking at. Right. So like a car, for instance, you have...

the reference to go like how much should this cost right right and right so like it gives you some personal right you see a lamborghini you know that's like a three hundred thousand dollar car and you can like check with people yeah but like a piece of jewelry right this guy who i i bought a watch from was like this jewelry is like you know this ring or whatever it's like whatever fifty thousand dollars or something i was like oh wow he's like do you want it i was like i don't know

And then like a month or two later, he sent me the same thing. He's like, I'm trying to move this now. Do you want it for like $20? What? And I was like, it's $20? He's like, yeah, I'm just trying to move it now. What does that mean? What's it really cost? That's what I'm saying. And so you kind of go like, wait a minute. So I was going to pay $20?

$30,000 more for it? That would just go to you? That's so gross, right? It is gross. I would never trust that guy again. It just really turned me off, man. Well, you know, it's really kooky. Fake diamonds that are real diamonds. Yeah. Girls don't want them.

Right. I was reading this whole thing about the demand and supply for lab-created diamonds that are absolutely diamonds. They're not fake diamonds. It's a real diamond. But it's not a diamond that's pulled out of the ground by slaves. It's just lab-generated. Yeah, it's not like a blood diamond. And girls are like, I don't want that shit. I don't want it.

It's not real. Oh, no, it's not real. I want someone to suffer first. Well, it's not that. What it is is the same thing as not wanting a fake Rolex, even though it's, like, physically the exact same thing as a Rolex. Yeah. But that's at least a brand. Like, if you're a person who loves engineering and craftsmanship, like, I don't want to, you know, sell...

Someone to rip off someone's work. Yeah, like that's art like a girl like your watch. That's a piece of art It's a piece of art. Yeah, so that makes sense. You wouldn't want a fake piece of art, but a diamond is just it's just Elements compressed over time. Yeah, they figured out how to do that where they make perfect diamonds Fraction of the cost of me right, but the demand is super low. Yeah Wow 99% less 99 oh yeah

Oh yeah, in some cases. Especially the big ones. Yeah, I was gonna say, you can get like a three carat diamond. Right, right, right. The ladies don't want them. Yeah. And everyone. It's so crazy. I'll know. That's one of the things. I'll feel cheap. That I feel so. Do you think I'm cheap? They don't want that shit, dude. She,

She finds out that what you got her was like the shittier version. The lab-created, but it's not even shittier. That's the thing. It's like lab-created diamonds are actual diamonds. It's literal alchemy. Remember in the old days, they were trying to figure out a way to use all these chemicals to make gold? That's what alchemists are for. Kings would spend insane amounts of money on these alchemists to try to get these alchemists to figure out how to manufacture...

I think I can make gold for you, sire. Yeah, yeah. I need a laboratory. And these dudes are sniffing fucking mercury all day and dying young. Yeah.

It's the craziest thing to spend on. But imagine if the lady's like, no, you made that gold in a lab. I don't want it. I don't want it. I want real gold that's from Africa that came out of the ground. Yeah, we just want the real thing. I want the real stuff that they picked out of the river. Yeah. I want the real stuff they got from Alaska. I want that real stuff. You don't want the, but it's just gold, baby. It's gold. It's just an element. Who cares where it's from? No. No. I want the real stuff.

I want stuff that's forged inside of a son. How many women out there do you think to rock something that they're so proud of that if they go to get it assessed, it has to happen all the time. It happened in my family. It did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to say who. Yeah. But someone relative, not like close, but broke up with the guy and found out that it was a cubic zirconium. That's...

LOL. That's very funny. But perfect for that guy. I was like, that guy's such a piece of shit. I knew it. I could have told you it was a fake diamond. That's so funny. I laugh so hard. Yeah. So she took it to the jeweler. Yes. Well, she's like, I got to break up with this guy. Yeah.

I don't have any money. She's living with this shyster, this fucking guy who's like a just dirtbag, you know, but had some money, but not real money. Just like a bullshit artist. Yeah. He's just like, oh, he's a bullshit artist. I got to leave him. Oh, fuck. Fuck. She's like, I'm going to, you know, I'll have 10 grand. Yeah. I'll sell this right. They're like, I'll give you 100 bucks. It's worth nothing. They didn't want any of it. It's not worth anything. That's...

Amazing. Fake diamonds worth zero money. Zero dollars. Looks exactly like, like if you're in a party. Yeah. If you go to a party, if you're a woman and you have this beautiful, big ass fucking rock and you walk in and everybody's like, look at her ring. Yeah. Oh my God, it's sparkling. Nobody knows. Nobody has any idea that it's fake. No one knows. I mean, literally, it's, again, it's not a fake Ferrari. Well, that was the thing, uh,

Chad Ochocinco the football player because like a lot of the athletes they rock diamond earrings and stuff he was like he was like yeah I wear fakes he's like especially because like if I'm

Whether it was on the field or going out, he was like, I have a real one at home. I go out, I wear the fake one. Well, he saved a lot of money. A lot of money. He was also always very on top of not overspending. Very smart dude. Very smart dude. For everything except fighting. Did he fight? He has this very bizarre idea. Him and Shannon Sharp argue all the time. His bizarre idea that he could fight MMA guys and beat them. Oh, that's crazy. That's crazy. Well-

It's the reason why he was such a great athlete. Yeah. Confidence. Crazy confidence. But it's this unstoppable belief in yourself, which, listen, he's such a great athlete that if he did compete in MMA, he probably would be a world champion. Yeah. Because he's got that, like if Michael Jordan decided he was going to, if MMA existed when Michael Jordan was alive, he'd probably be the light heavyweight champion of the world. Right. He'd probably figure out a way to fuck everybody else up. And also like this drive.

This championship mindset. It's just rare humans that choose to focus on football or soccer or basketball or whatever it is. The thing they get obsessed with. But if they put the same amount of energy from the same amount at an early enough age, like there's certain like barriers that cannot be overcome. And one of them is like physical maturity.

Like, once you're, like, 36 years old, if you start boxing at 36 years old, I don't care what, you're not going to be a world champion. Yeah. It's too hard. It's too hard to, like... Yeah. It's the way you saw with, like, Francis Ngannou when he fought Anthony Joshua. Yeah. That's the difference. Right. You know, you can't just jump on in and fight, like, an Olympic gold medalist who's, like, been doing it his whole life. He's going to do things to you. Yeah. You're not going to know what he's doing, and he's going to crack you. Yeah. But the reason why he thinks that, like...

Ocho Cinco thinks that is because he was a fucking monster athlete. Yeah. He knows how hard he works. He knows how gifted he is. Yeah. But he just thinks, but if you put him in there with a guy like a Drekas Duplicy or something like that, he'd get fucking mauled. Of course.

No, he's thinking, yeah, because he was a fucking precision route runner. Great. When someone's mounting you, drilling elbows in your eye socket. I know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You don't know how to block them. You don't know how to stop the rear naked choke. You don't know how to stop the trip. You don't know which way to roll on a heel hook. They're like, I'll figure that shit out. No, you won't. You're going to get your knees ripped apart. You're going to get knocked unconscious. Yeah.

It's like reality. But I love the fact that people think that way. There's a lot that think like that outspoken. It's my mentality, bro. Yeah. My mentality. I can't lose. Yeah.

I understand. I have that stupid part of my brain too, but I'm also smart enough to go, hey, fuck face. Like I have two people in my head. Yeah. I have like this. I can do it. I have the general who tells me what to do. And then I have like the soldier that's like, wait a minute. This is going to get me killed. Yeah, yeah. This is fucking, I'm not running with a hand grenade into all these bullets flying my way. No. And you know enough.

seen enough fighting to know what your limits are. Especially with martial arts is the big one. It's like you don't know, man. There's little tiny dudes that can choke you to death and you have no idea. In your mind, you're like, they can't do shit to me. Motherfucker, I can bench 300 pounds. And next thing you know, arm drag, he's got your back, he's like, you can't get away. The body triangle on you. Yeah.

You don't want to tap out, but you have to. You have to. You're dead. You're dead. It's over. That's why it's good to even try all those things. I've done a little bit of boxing, striking. I've done a little bit of jiu-jitsu. It's great to have the awareness. It is. You're like, oh, wow. It's a nice wake-up call. Yeah. Yeah, and when I first started doing jiu-jitsu, I was already a very accomplished striker.

I was really good at striking. So I was like, I know how to fight. And then I went to jujitsu class. I got my ass kicked every day. Yeah. I was like, this is crazy. I was so wrong. I have this completely distorted idea of my abilities. Yeah. Yeah. It really humbles you, right? It's a lot of people walking around out there, especially men, just think they know how to fight. Yeah. It's like a terrible thing to find out on YouTube, like to see people find out.

that you don't really know how to fight. You just think you're going to bluff your way. I think there's the male thing. Men think they know how to fight, that they're funny, that they fuck good, and that they can drive. Right. Those are like the four things. They're like, I can do all this shit. Yeah. Delusions. There's like manly things. You don't want someone to be better than you at. Yeah. And you get delusional things. Those four are the ones that come up the most, I think. Pool.

Pool's another one. Shoot pool? Yeah, a lot of guys pretend they're good at pool. I've had a bunch of dudes say they play good pool. I'm like, really? Let's find out. Let's find out. Do any ever surprise you that they are pretty good? Never. Never? Not one. Not one? Nope. Wow. I thought you would find at least a couple. Nope.

So they're always like, I'm- No, usually people that are really good at pool, they'll tell you. Like, oh yeah, I used to play a lot. I played a lot of tournaments. I did this or that. Like, where'd you play? And they're like, oh, I played at Chelsea Billiards in New York City. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Did you do a lot of tournaments? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a lot of gambling. It was fucking me up in high school. Like, okay, I get it. You know what you're talking about. But the guy's like, yeah, man, I'm fucking good at pool. I'm like, are you?

Where do you play? It's like going bars mostly. Like, right. So it's one of two things happening. Either they're trying to sucker you into a game and they are really good at pool or they're delusional. And every time I've ever experienced it, it's delusional. Wow. There's a lot of people do it. Like famous people. Really? Oh yeah. Yeah. A bunch. Yeah. They're like, I'm pretty good. Bring them over. I don't want to say names, but bring them over onto the table. No. What the fuck? Oh, you have to tell me these names afterwards. Yeah. It's fun.

It's fun to see somebody. Yeah. It's fun. But, you know, it's one of those things that people like, like a lot of men want to think they're good at poker. Like, oh, I can read people. Like, sure. Oh, yeah. That's another one. Dudes think they're good at playing cards. Poker's a great one. Ari Shafir, when we were at the store, Ari for years made a living playing poker. He made a living doing that? 100%. He would go and play in the bicycle club and all those cards. So he was pretty good. Yeah.

Ari was very good at poker. But he would tell you, like, all these people think they can play. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. Because they play stupid. Like, he's just intelligent and calculated. Yeah. He knows. You know who's really good? Who? Phillip Lee and his wife. Oh, really? They play in tournaments. Oh, wow. Margarita and Phillip, they play in tournaments. So does Bruce Buffer. Bruce Buffer played in the World Series of Poker. I never got into poker. And I remember when I was working in post-production, like in the early 2000s,

It was starting to get more and more. Now it's, I think, immensely popular. But there was like an uptick when they started to televise it. You know what it was? You know what made it uptick? No. You could see the cards. Went at home. You know who's got what. You know who's got what. Right. So you're watching it play out. That's a huge element that's on home. Because Anthony Giordano, my friend from the UFC, he does all the UFC direction. He's done my comedy specials too.

He explained it to me. He's like, the moment you could see those cards, that changed the game. Because now it made it exciting for people to watch. Because you're watching people play poker. You don't know what anybody's hand is until the end. This is stupid. But if there's like, you got a camera. So like as they fan open their cards, there's a camera under the table. And it shows you what they got. And it shows you what everybody's got. Like, ooh. That's more exciting. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's way more fun. Dude, I don't even know how to play poker. And I would accept invites to poker games.

And what happens is you start playing with like how you think to play and people start when they don't know you, they're like this guy, he's either fucking really ballsy and good or he's a retard. And that's what would happen to me is like a couple of games in people were like, okay,

Yeah, this guy. And then pretty soon they're like, do you play poker? And I was like, I'm not really sure what we're doing here. They're like, get the fuck out of here, man. Well, they also want to rob you. Yeah. That's a big thing, too. Yeah. Because you're a big fish. Well, I wasn't at all then. At the dawn. No, no, no. I was just like going with people from work. I was just doing it socially. That's got to be a thing where a lot of people that are really wealthy that get into gambling. Oh.

Be a target. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's a big thing with pool players, too, is occasionally poker players because poker players, a lot of them, they gamble on a bunch of different stuff. You know, a lot of them are just gambling addicts. Totally. And so there was always a bunch of poker players that would play pool and they were kind of OK at pool, but they would get insane spots.

Like, say if, like, I knew this guy that was playing one pocket for, like, $100,000 a set. And one pocket is a weird game where a pool table has six pockets. Yeah. And so, like, if we were playing one pocket, you would have this pocket on the right, I'd have this pocket on the left. And there's 15 balls. And so all I have to do is make eight balls into my hole and I win the game. Okay. Normally. Normally.

But if you don't know how to play and I'm trying to sucker you into playing me, I go, okay, listen, I'll spot you on 15 ball game. I'll spot you 13 balls. 13? 13 balls. You just have to get two. We're going to play for big money. We're going to play for big money. We're going to play for race to five for $100,000.

So that means a game of one pocket takes a long time. It's not like a game of nine ball. A game of nine ball, you could be done in two minutes. You just run the rack. Like a good player... Because anywhere you can go. Yeah. But in this case, you have to go to one pocket. One pocket. And you can't leave a shot. Because if you're playing a good player... So like if...

You were playing... Okay, me. Let's say me, because I'm what's called a B player. I can't beat pros, but compared to regular people, oh my God, how do you play so good? Regular people don't know how to play. That's why it is. But if I played a pro, like if I played my friend Fedor Gorst, who's world champion, I would probably need...

out of 15 balls, I'd probably need 11 balls to have a chance. And even then, I'm probably getting robbed.

Really? Yeah. Because he's just going to... He's going to figure out a way to never leave me a shot, and then he's going to calculate when he has a shot, can he open up the stack, and then run all the other balls. Because you don't break like you break with eight ball. When you break with one pocket, it's a very calculated game. And it's a big gambling game. The most money gets spent on... Like I was just watching online the other day a game they were playing for $240,000. Wow.

Yeah, it was a match for $240,000. I think it was a three-day match. I've got to watch one of these. The pressure's insane. But this guy, Justin Bergman, who's like one of the best players in the world, was playing this guy, and he gave him a crazy spot. I think it was... It might have been like...

He had a, it was something crazy like 10-6 or something like that where he had to make 10 balls. The other guy had to make six balls. And the guy was a good player too. And so if you're, so this is like, it's more like chess almost it feels like, right? Because you're like calculating like. You have to risk reward because like say you might have a long spot in your hole and if you make it.

You have all these balls and you can run out the game. But if you miss, you're selling out. And this guy only has to make six balls and he might be able to make six balls. And it's any six. Exactly. Any six. Wow. Yeah.

It's just any ball just has to be in your hole in any order. It's not a thing. It's not like a rotation game, like one through nine or eight ball where you're like, I got stripes, you got solids. It's just anything goes. Any ball in that hole. And like the really, really good players can spot you that much and you still don't have a chance. You don't have a chance. And there's really good players like there's a guy named Tony Chohan who's real famous. His nickname's T-Rex.

And he's like a big time money gambler. And there's another guy named Scott Frost who's a friend of mine. Yeah. Who's like one of the biggest one pocket players of all time. Guarantee you Scott Frost has gambled over the course of his life. Millions of dollars have changed hands with Scott Frost playing one pocket. Yeah. He's like one of the best one pocket players like literally ever.

And these guys are playing, you know, they'll meet up in Kentucky. They'll have stake horses and then people on the rail. So all the people that are watching are gambling as well. So you might have a, you know, there might be a set that's being played for half a million dollars. Fucking A. Yeah. Like this one that I was watching that Justin Bergman was, $240,000 they were playing for.

Yeah. And who knows how many people gamble on the side. That's what I'm saying. It's generating a lot more. Oh, it's crazy. That's when you think about, like, I think it's easy to forget when you're just into, like, the game, like, the amount of money that changes hands week to week with the NFL. Oh, God. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Billions of dollars. Billions. Has to be. Billions. Has to be. It is such a gambling machine. Oh, yeah. And, like, the NFL kind of, like, goes, like, no, it's not. No.

It's about the gridiron. But then they also got to the point where it's like,

You know, they couldn't ignore it because then you have sponsorships, right? Of like there's gambling sites. Like we're the official gambling site. Yeah. So it's all intermingled now. DraftKings. Yeah. We're just part of it. Listen, I'm all for you being able to do whatever the fuck you want to do. Yeah. I like it. I don't like rules that regulate people's stupidity. Mm-hmm. Be as dumb as you want. If you want to do flips on your dirt bike, you should be able to do that. Yeah. So you should also be able to gamble your life away if you want to do that.

I don't think you should. Not the, yeah. But I believe in Darwinism. I believe you're supposed to let people like lose everything. Yeah. 2024, $148.7 billion gambled.

That's interesting because that's what Doge found they spent on transgender animal studies, the exact amount. No. Bro, that's so much money. $148 billion. Three a week? Listen, compared to what the United States government chews up every day, that's nothing. No, that's true. This is just the United States, too. This doesn't include any other country. That's so crazy.

And that's just football? No, no. It's all sports. Oh, all sports. It's got to be mostly football. Yeah, that's a lot of football, dude. Well, there's been a lot of scandals with the NBA, right? Well, yeah. Referees, shaving points. Donahay, I think is his name. That was nuts. There's got to be a lot of those dirtbags out there. Which totally makes sense. And it's so funny, too, because the NBA, in football, there's this thing that happens where like...

Every single down you could call holding if you wanted to. Holding just happens in every play, right? Right. Every play. But what they tend to call are egregious holds, meaning that the guy who's the defender is going past you and you see the offensive guy's arm extended, pulling the jersey. I would call that. Basketball, it is so ticky-tacky.

What can be called and what can be ignored and what is ignored and what is called. And it's just like ref to ref. Like there's these clear palming, traveling charges. Like you see it sometimes. You're like, what was that? Like fingertips like graze the guy's arm and they fucking call the foul. And then somebody gets hacked.

No foul. Right. And it's just, you kind of go, well, that's just like in the moment of the game. And like if that guy wants to be dirty, like the one was. You can make some money. Oh, my God. Yeah. And if you're working for the mob or something like that, like this is your job. Your job is to shave points. Your job is to make sure that these guys don't score as much. They just keep calling the fouls on the other guys, sending you to the foul line. God.

Keep that spread open. It's really gross, man. Yeah. There's a real problem with it with MMA, too. Is there really? Yeah. Yeah, there's a real problem with MMA. Here's the problem with MMA gambling. Incompetent judging. Well, that's the thing. Is it incompetent or is it... Dirty. Dirty. With boxing, too. Yeah. We've never seen anything... Oh, yeah. Because even the layperson...

can watch someone beat the shit out of somebody and be like this guy's fucking whooping this guy's ass and then the decision go the other way and you're like what happened there's been a few decisions like that there was one lady in Vegas and she got barred from ever referee or judging fights again so there's a few fights that she was involved with everybody was like what the fuck and

And she was the common denominator. I don't know if she's ever been charged. I don't want to mention her name. But I know that there was a real issue. It was a real issue with world title fights where people were like, how the fuck is this? Because say if Canelo Alvarez is fighting someone that you know he's going to win, you know he's going to be, but you can place a prop bet.

on it being a split decision or a majority decision. All you have to do is get one person to say it's a draw.

And that's it. And like, look, he's going to win. He's going to win. He's going to win either way. But if I want to place a shit ton of money on this one thing, some dirty judge could score to draw. Yeah. And you just have to convince that dirty judge. Like, just listen, doesn't matter. You're not affecting this guy's career. Yeah. He's going to get the win. No one's going to remember. Just make it a majority decision. Yeah.

And you just got to justify why you thought, I'm a big fan of defense. I think the other guy just like, he blocked a lot of punches. I thought it was great. It's really, it's, there's so many I feel like in combat sports where the judging is. Because it's so subjective. Yeah. But it's just, for a fighter, the crazy thing is you lose half your purse.

Yeah. Because like you might get, you know, $100,000 to fight and then $100,000 to win. And so if they hit you with a bullshit decision, you lost $100,000. That's... Because some hometown decision or some corruption. Yeah. It's really unique that you have a sport when you think about it where there's a subjective winner. Right. It's not like football. Right. Where like this is the score. Every time the score. Yeah. Basketball. Basketball.

ball goes in the net, score. You could shave point, you could bullshit, you know. Yeah, yeah. But if you're playing Michael Jordan, he's going to score on you. Yes. How are you going to stop him? You're not going to stop him, right? So, like, the numbers he puts up are the numbers he puts up. But in boxing and in MMA, like, remember when Roy Jones lost in the Olympics? Do you remember that? Yes, yes, yes. He lost the Olympics in Korea. Yeah. And he fucked that dude up. He beat that dude from pillar to post. That was corruption. 100%. Yeah. Well,

It was nationalism. It was like it was in Korea. Like Koreans are very proud. And they're like, he won. Like what? Yeah. Roy Jones Jr. in his prime in the Olympics. I mean, not even in his prime yet. Yeah. He fucked that guy up. Fucked that guy up. Yeah. And, you know, there's been a few decisions like that in boxing where you're like, how is this? What was the one? Because I watched a video on this, I think recently, too, where I was like, oh, what was the explanation where it was Kennedy, Tim Jones.

Right? Is that his name? The fighter? Tim Kennedy? Right? Is that his name? Sure. Fighting the Cuban guy? Yolo Romero. Yeah. That was a really- That was a bad one. That was bad. That was a bad one. Yeah, that was a-

I don't know if that's the referee's fault or whatever, but he didn't get off of his stool. So Kennedy, Tim had rocked him real bad at the end of the round, like real bad. And then Yoel went to his corner wobbling fucking out of it. And at the end of the one-minute break that you're supposed to have sat on the stool. It should be it's over. It's over. It should be it's over. But he got an additional, I want to say, more than 30 seconds to recover. Yeah.

Before he got and then he wound up beating Tim but also Psychologically for the guy who was fucking him up for Tim. It's like no this fight is over. You're fucking me Yeah, yeah, yeah fucked here. Yeah, so then your brain starts and then you get out of your fight mindset Which has to be Zen because he's getting into the injustice mindset. Yeah, why isn't anybody fucking? Yes, yes, yes, and there was that was just like a yes oversight crazy. Yeah, I

I don't know who to, I don't want to pass blame, but someone fucked up. It should have been, in my mind, one minute, get up, are you going to get up? Fight's over. This guy won. That's it. He retired on his stool. Fuck you. Fight's over. That's what it should have been, in my mind. Also, when the fight, when the round does go over one minute and the guy doesn't get up,

You put a burden on Kennedy that is just like totally unfair. Yeah. Totally unfair, especially when he was rocking him at the end of the round. Like this is like the more time he gets to recover. There's a reason why in boxing you only get 10 seconds. Yeah. You know, the more time he gets to recover, the more it's possible that he can win. This is not fair. Yeah. Like it's supposed to be one minute and that's it. If the fight doesn't restart at one minute, he's not ready, it's over. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's only happened once. And unfortunately for Tim, it happened to him. Yeah, that does suck. It was a bummer. Yeah. It was a bummer because Yoel Romero went on to, I mean, Yoel was a freak of all freaks. So like the guy could recover. And he was also like just built like a superhero. He looked like a goddamn pit bull. He was part of the Cuban athlete program. Yeah. Who knows? Traps in the head. Bro, everybody who fought him said that like hitting him hurt.

Hitting him. So he's like, he's made out of metal. They all said that. Everybody said like everybody, like Robert Whitaker, who beat him twice, who was the middleweight champion. He's like, every time you hit him, it hurt you.

Like, he's just different. Yeah. Freaky guy. Yeah. So, like, if Chad Ochorchenko thinks he was going to beat that guy. No. Like, listen, bro. No. Like, there's people like you out there that also really know how to fight. Yeah. You know? Like, there's, like, people that have that. That's a problem with, like, really tough guys. They think they're the only one like that. Yeah. Like, ugh.

It's like you don't want to discourage that in a fighter because that's the thing that gets them to a championship level in the first place is this belief that they're just different. Yeah. They're the chosen one. They're destined for this. But the wake-up call that those guys get when they get knocked unconscious is the craziest thing. It's like the reality. Like, oh, my God, I am the victim now.

now. Yeah. I am what I've been doing to other people. Someone just did to me and now it's over. That has to rock you on such a deep level. The deepest. Well, because it's also...

It fucks with your identity. Exactly. Like who you are. Oh, yeah. Your worth. Yeah. Your whole self-worth. Your girlfriend's not attracted to you anymore. Yeah. You just got laid out. Yeah. Like everybody thinks of you as a loser now. Yeah. Hey, had a rough one Saturday, huh? What happened? What happened? Hey, what happened? And all your, that fat, stupid fucking neighbor that's happy that you're a loser now. Yeah. Like, yeah. Wasn't your night up, pal? Yeah. Happens to all of us. And you're like, hey, man, fuck you. Yeah. Like, listen. Yeah.

You know, maybe fucking take a job where you're not getting punched in the head. Stupid. Don't get mad at me. Yeah, exactly. People love it when the dominator fails. Yeah. We like to, you know, it's funny because we like to like a society. I think I feel I don't know if it's just all over the world or it feels like it's kind of American. We'd love to discover someone ride with them. Want everyone to know this is who I've been with this person.

from the beginning, see them reach a certain height and then go, oh, fuck him. Fuck that guy. And then bring him down. You see it all the time. Well, because our society is infested with bitches. Like an apartment filled with roaches, our society is infested with bitches. And there's always going to be people that don't

do their best, that don't go for things, that don't try real hard, that never put themselves out there. And so when someone does and fails, they're like, ha, ha, ha, and they want to troll them on social media. You're not better than me. I tell so many fighters, you've got to stay offline. Because I've talked to fighters when they're arguing with people online, and I'll meet them, I'll see them, I'll go, hey, man, listen to me.

I know you think you're doing, like, you're shutting these people up. If you ever see you, I'll fucking smack you. Dude, I'm telling you right now, you've got to stop doing this. You've got to stop engaging and stop reading these things. This thing is poison. You're reading poison. And it gets in your head. It gets in your head, like, while you're training. I'm sure. You think about it while you're training. I know it does. It's like a lot of these guys are very fragile because a lot of these guys got, like, bullied and picked on, which is why they got into fighting in the first place. Yeah.

To defend themselves. And then you're getting bullied by 100,000 unknown anonymous 15-year-olds. And your neighbor. Yeah. Your neighbor's hoping for your downfall. Dude, I was reading this story about this lady who...

This girl, this young girl was getting like mercilessly trolled online and she found out it was her mom. Yes, I saw this story. Bro. It's like incomprehensible. Incomprehensible. There's monsters out there. That's a monster. To do that to your daughter? She's just jealous of her daughter's looks and popularity? Fucking crazy. That's a monster.

Monsters are real. Yeah. Yeah, you can't, you know, you can't like fucking Gandhi everything. No. You can't, you know, Sat Nam the whole world. Ah, Yamaste, Namaste. Yeah, yeah. No, that's not real. No. Like, there's people out there you gotta kill. Yeah. This happened to like some soccer player too. I remember I watched like a doc on him. It's like kind of vague to me, but he was getting totally like mercilessly trolled and attacked by someone and it turned out to be one of his friends. Oh.

Marvin Gaye got killed by his dad. Yeah, that's... You want to hear something crazy? I was dating this girl, and I was a giant Marvin Gaye fan. I think she didn't like it that I was a giant. She was kind of a cunt. She was kind of a cunt. And one of the things that she said was, like, imagine how bad of a person he was that his own father killed him.

And I was like, that's what you got out of this? That's your perspective? That's what you got out of this? He was such a bad person. Like, what could he have done that would have justified his father shooting him and killing him? I'll tell you what he did. He fucking shot him.

outshone his father. Yeah. That's what he did. He reached levels of love that his father couldn't possibly have achieved in his life and his father realized I'll never be as good as my son. Fuck my son. And he hated him because of that. Yeah. I mean I'm sure there's probably a bunch of other stuff involved too. But that's dark man. Dark. You shot your son. You shot your son. You shot your son. And it's not like your son was trying to kill you. No. And you had to defend yourself and shoot him. No. He's a

He's just an amazing singer that the whole world loved. Yeah. And he probably has a bitch ass friend. Yeah. Look at you, man. Yeah. Your son Marvin's killing it and you're just a fucking loser. Oh,

- Fucking kid. - What was the, 'cause I always knew that the father, was it like a clear cut murder, like homicide one? - Oh yeah, yeah, the father just shot him. It was an interesting thing because I think what had happened with Marvin Gaye was Marvin had achieved incredible fame, but he got fucked over in some record deal where he had no money. - Yeah. - I think he had-- - Like everybody in that era.

So fucking predatory. You want to talk about predatory? The worst. Corporations. The music business is like the most disgusting. You ever read the thing that Courtney Lovard wrote about it, about the music business? A lot of people don't even think she wrote it because it's too good.

But it was essentially a breakdown of how bad the music business fucks you. Yeah. And this is at a time where you actually sold records. Tons of them sometimes, yeah. Yeah, because now the music business, it's like the mask is off. It doesn't provide any value. Yeah. And they still take 50% of your touring, which is crazy. Of your touring? Yeah, 50-50. They do 50-50 deals, merch, touring. Yeah. Yeah.

And then what are they gonna do? What do they provide? They can't even get you on the radio because the radio doesn't exist. Yeah. Like, you know, that's why people that break through from that model, like Oliver Anthony or, you know, Tyler, the creator's a great example, like just makes his own stuff, puts it all, and it doesn't have to be. People don't even realize that in that era too, you would, after your tour, after your tour and your hit album, that you'd be in debt. Oh yeah. To the record company. So they're like, you gotta do another album. Oh yeah. And the record companies always,

All rich. Yeah. Everyone's profiting. And then also they want you to subsidize the failures. Yeah. All these boy bands that they pushed that never made it. Yeah. All the money that they put into that. That's a part of the accounting. So insane. And then Hollywood does the same thing. They would do the same thing with like how much money a movie made. Yeah. There's been tons of lawsuits involved, that kind of stuff.

Wait, but where were you with Marvin? You're like, he's broke? Yeah, so he... If I remember this story correctly, it was so depressing I didn't even want to really get into it. Because I think he had become a huge superstar and then didn't have any money, which is...

that's happened more than once. Yeah. Like, and I think he might've had to move back in with his parents. No. Yeah. I think that's really, yeah. I think that's the story. See if you can find that. I'm looking, I don't know.

It says he bought his dad a Cadillac, but this is years later, though. Right, but the thing is, like, he might have, like, bought him money when the money was flowing in, and then after a while, you know, that's the other thing that happens with artists. Like, artists are impulsive, so they spend all their money, and then they don't really... Like, how many artists get given, like, a Mercedes-Benz by, you know, the head of a label, and they think, like, oh, shit, I'm killing it. Meanwhile, it's a leased car. Yeah. You know, and they're...

just siphoning money out of you. Someone's writing that loss. You're just getting fucked. You're getting fucked left and right and right and left. And, you know, and all they do is sell art, you know, they're all they do is sell art and

They don't make any of it, and they make more money than anybody. That's so crazy. People didn't know because now if you are into music, whatever, you don't realize how much it was a thing to have music videos, right? Like that used to be such the biggest thing. And a lot of artists, especially like the young artists, didn't even know.

that they were paying for the music video. So the label would be like, go shoot your video. And they'd be like, cool. It's a million dollars. And they'd be like, great. And then they're like, oh, no, you're going to pay for that. But they tell them later, we've got to deduct that million. They're like, wait, what? They're not sophisticated. They're not finance majors, which is what we were talking about earlier. You should learn that in school. You have no idea that you're like, wait, I thought you guys are paying for this. No. It's kind of funny that the video, like everything is visual.

You know, like everything's visual now. There's so much video that people watch, but yet music videos kind of went away. I know. Except Kanye's. Except for Kanye's. That one we definitely all saw. And the new one looks like he made it for $40. Yeah. Like it doesn't. It's pretty. I mean, it's like you got a drone and a bunch of people. Yeah. You know, and Heil Hitler. And he had like the black light kind of effect. Yeah. Doesn't seem like that cost a lot of money. No, I don't think that probably cost a lot.

You can make things now, too, for so much less. Oh, with AI? It's so accessible. With AI, you don't even have to have the actual people doing it. Yeah, that's true. Which is really crazy. Like, what you can do now is nuts. My daughter was showing me some stuff that you could do with just photographs, where she could take photographs, and then she throws them through this filter, and then they're dancing around and moving. You're like, this is nuts. Yeah. So all you need is a photograph, and especially if you chose to have, like, a

effects in it, like some sort of psychedelic fucking weird things where things morph and change. It could all be done with AI now. That's incredible. Easily. Well, there's articles out about some studio. Maybe it's here in Texas. Somebody sent me the link to this that...

This company wants to start making studio-quality movies for $500K, AI movies. I bet they can make it for cheaper than that. But that's... Yeah. These are, I mean, that's... They'll probably have AI write the script, man. I mean, if you're thinking about something like

dumbass fucking cop movie, you know, some silly bank heist movie. You got a hero who's going to go in and fucking kill the bad guys. Fraction of the cost. You could write that easy with just take... All AI has to do is like... It's a large language model, right? It almost is search through...

Steve McQueen movies and Tom Hardy movies write me a movie Guy Ritchie movies put it together make me a movie no it bums me out though like I don't want to watch that movie it should yeah what is this this is the company this is the first piece they made and it shows a little bit about how they made it the woman with red hair yeah they still are doing it oh so they have actors they have real actors then they're replaced god damn like look it looks so good

It looks so good. Like that's not a real person. Isn't that crazy? Well, she does. It's the uncanny valley. It looks a little weird. Yeah. But getting better all the time. And the only reason why it looks weird is because it's so well lit. Like if you wanted to do it like Sin City style, there's no like Sin City. If Robert Rodriguez wanted to do Sin City today, the whole thing could be AI. Yeah. No one would know. No. That's crazy. Yeah. These are all fake people.

And, dude, just a few years ago, you couldn't do hair. Hair was weird. Right. You know? And so were, like, extremities, right? Fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I mean, just in a short amount of time, it's incredible. Why is that? That's so interesting. Why are fingers...

It's a good question. Well, hair seems like it would take a lot of computing power, right? Because you have- Strands, single strands moving. Her hair's not moving. It's pretty static. Yeah, but it's not. It isn't. Go back. No, no. I'm just saying- But it is all moving. Not the way it would. It would if- Yeah, you're right. Right here. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. Yeah. It's moving almost like a little bit of a helmet. That would be a tell. Yeah.

Like, it's a little bit of movement, but not enough. Right. A little bit of bounce, but not... Like, it's all spray-painted. Like, as if their hair was, like, sprayed with a shit ton of hairspray. Yeah. Like, it couldn't move at all. Right. That would kind of make sense. But it's not moving. So they all need that scene at the beginning of every... of their movie. It's like... At least... Like, they always do it. This kind of stuff is pretty tough to do, too. What is tough? Getting a good font. Oh. You can't... That does... You know, you can't read anything. In a movie, you probably... You wouldn't need it, but...

Interesting. When you're looking for AI stuff, you can sort of look at fonts. Interesting. Yeah, look at that. Look at that font. It looks like ancient Sumerian text or something. That's interesting. Like some lost language. Yeah. Like that one and the fingers and toes thing is like, I just wonder what the explanation is for that. Because that's a tell in photographs too, right? Yeah. When you see a photo, you could be like, oh, look, that's got like six fingers. Well, remember that lady, the English lady that was missing? Was her name Kate?

She was missing forever. She supposedly was sick. Kate Middleton. She was sick, and then there was a photo that was released of her. Look, she's fine. Everybody's like, no, this is fucking AI. In the photo, people had six fingers and shit. Weird stuff. That's weird shit. In the photo, there was weird, clearly edited. Yeah. It's going to get way spookier. Way.

Way spookier. We're just touching it right now. It's just started. This is just scratching the surface. Yeah. It's going to be real weird. Actors should really save their money. You're going to be useless in a short amount of time. I agree. And also, if you have...

any type of you know recognition to you now you gotta like like get your image you know i mean like oh yeah yeah yeah like but also like how are you gonna stop china from just making mel gibson movies no you're definitely not you're not gonna they're just gonna be like i don't care yeah fuck you i'm gonna make a mel gibson when he's 35 movie fuck off yeah it's gonna play here we don't care let's fuck off we're gonna put it online we

What are you going to do? It's so, so crazy. Run through 30 different shell companies. You're never going to find who made it. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And it's going to get to a point where it's going to be virtual. So it's like it's going to be inside people's heads. You're going to be able to exist inside the movie. Things are going to get so strange and they're going to be so...

immersive so quickly yeah the matrix is a decade away the real matrix where the real question is where you're in the amazon and you are barefoot and you feel the ground under your feet yeah and you hear the monkeys and the birds and the bugs in the trees and you hear the the sound of a panther nearby like that's going to be real it's going to be real and you're going to be like why do i even want

to go back to real life partake in the real world like what's that guy's name Joey Pants from fucking the Matrix when he's eating the steak he's like I want to be important I want to be an important person like yeah that's what people want to do they'd rather be an important person in the Matrix that's so true man and we might be in that right now that's the real mind fuck the real mind fuck is if they can

eventually create a artificial reality that's indiscernible, how do you know whether or not you're already in it? And you don't. Well, you wouldn't, yeah. But there's a lot of evidence that we are. That we're in it now? Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of evidence that reality as we know it is not real, that it's too weird. Quantum entanglement...

Quantum particles being in superposition, the fact that at a subatomic level everything is kind of magic, like nothing makes any sense. Also that when you observe things, it changes the behavior of subatomic particles. What's that all about? What does that mean? No one really knows. So I'm experiencing this in a –

In an altered reality. I think consciousness might be responsible for reality instead of consciousness is experiencing reality. I think it might be both things. I think it might be consciousness is experiencing reality as well as consciousness is responsible for reality. How much of a mind fuck would it be?

If somebody unplugged you right now and you're like, this whole thing you've been doing. Pretty mind-fucking. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if anybody should believe in it, it's me. Like, I don't know. How is it possible that my life was like this? Yeah. Right. It doesn't make any sense. I'm just like killing it in a video game. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense. No, but it doesn't make sense. This is why, like, for a fighter, like, the loss must be so fucking unbelievably devastating. It's like the equivalent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's over. And you see champions that keep coming back and keep getting knocked out. You're like, no. Don't do it again. Fuck. You know? Yeah. Just like they can't believe it's over. You don't want to see it again. They can't believe it's over. But I was the winner of the game. Yeah. I won the game. I was winning the game. Nope. Not now. Not anymore. Now reality has shifted. And now on top of it, you've got brain damage. Oh, fuck. Fuck.

Boy. That's worse than the version we get. Oh, it's the worst. Yeah, that's the worst version. Brain damage is the worst because now the way you interface with reality might be damaged. Sort of like a car with a bad suspension on the highway with the wheels shaking now. Like the way you interface with the universe itself. Changes completely. Yeah. So you're taking a gamble. The highest amount of glory possible.

It's like winning fights in front of the whole world. I mean, I would only imagine that, like, becoming a UFC champion and they, you know, put that belt on your waist and the whole crowd's like, yeah. And people at home are like, fuck, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, and he did it. Holy shit. It's the craziest. Holy, you text your friends, what a fight. Holy shit. The love that person gets, the accomplishment that person gets. Yeah. But...

The price is you're risking the way you interface with reality itself, the brain.

You're risking the brain. And you might get out of it like Georges St-Pierre. You know? Georges St-Pierre, fine. Handsome, wealthy, perfect intellectually. People are like, you're the man still. Bro, still the man. Whenever I talk to him, he's like, Joe Rogan, how is things? Everything is great, buddy. He's all happy. You're like, boy, you fucking really pulled it off. You pulled it off. You really pulled it off. You became a two-division world champion, one of the greatest fighters of all time, and you're fine. Chalk me now.

Chocomino and them bad boys. Yeah, man. I forgot about them rogues. I like those. Yeah. Thank you. But for most, it's going to end badly. Yeah. And the crazier part to me is how many of those guys you go, hey, if you could go back, you know, we just change things. And they're like, no. Some of them like go, I love the glory so much. Like you see it in fighting. You see it like in the NFL. Some of them are like, no, I'll accept. The identity. Yeah. The identity is so huge.

The identity, to be a special person. You don't get to be a special person. Most people don't get to be a special person. And a special fighter...

Is a different kind of special person. Yeah. It's like, that's a guy who took the craziest of risks. Like, we all know, and you know better than anybody how vulnerable the human body is because of your surgery and your injury. Fucking horrible. So, like, imagine if you had a fight and now, like, you were a big-time fighter and you hurt yourself playing basketball with Burt Kreischer. Oh, my God. And then you got to build yourself back up to fight again, but you kind of know that your left arm is kind of still fucked a little bit. Yeah. No, it never, like...

No matter how far you get from it, you still have the voice in there. Oh, yeah. More so now, right? Oh, yeah. Because you're like, I never had that voice before. Oh, yeah. Of like, watch out. Yeah. Be careful. Yeah. Don't do that. And I've had three knee surgeries, and I'm having a problem with this left knee that I really hurt. The last time I hurt it pretty bad was skiing, the last time I skied, because I cracked the bone that's at the top of the tibia.

And then I probably messed up the cartilage and shit in there too. But it's still better than most people's knees. Like, it's better than a regular knee. Like, people are like, how bad is your knee? Like, it's not fucked up compared to your knees, like a regular person's knees. Yeah, because you... I need my knee to be able to kick 60 miles an hour and do a bag of sand. Yeah. Like, I'm requiring different things from my knees than most people. But...

I know it's not the same. Yeah. Like, and if you're a fighter and you know, you got a bum knee, like even though nobody can tell while you're moving around, you know, and you know, your hand breaks easier now and you know, your neck hurts and you know, you got a pinched nerve and you know, your lower back gives out sometimes and you know, you know, your kidneys kind of hurt. Cause you could,

cut weight for too many years. Sounds like you know you shouldn't be fighting. And you know your memory's not so good anymore. And also you know you can't take a punch anymore. Like a lot of guys know they used to be able to take a great punch, but now you can't get hit. So now you're gun shy. Yeah. Did you see Devin Haney's fight last weekend? No. No.

He fought like, you know, Ryan Garcia fucked him up in the last fight. Dropped him a bunch of times. Yeah. And this fight, like, it looks like he's done. Like, he's moving around just like, it was just constantly moving. I forget the gentleman's name, but there were rounds where neither one of them landed a punch.

The whole round? The whole round. And Garcia, that's the one where he won the fight, but then there was all this bullshit. He tested positive for some sort of performance-enhancing metabolite at a very low level, by the way. Like, not a level where it would be performance-enhancing. Yeah. So I don't know what happened. He says he didn't take anything. What ended up happening with the...

The decision or the purse or whatever. It became a no contest. Oh, it became a no contest. Yeah, and I think he's also getting sued because Devin Haney claimed that he won because he was on steroids and that's a bad look. But you could tell it mind-fucked Devin Haney. And a lot of people totally are writing off Devin Haney now, which is crazy. Because I remember when he beat Kambosis, I was like, damn, Devin Haney's slick. He's so good.

And now, like, that guy is just – he was just moving constantly. And still very skilled boxer. But it just shows you, like, one devastating loss for an undefeated fighter can fuck you up. Yeah. And some guys, they come back and they're fine. You know, like Garcia, for instance. Like, Gervonta Davis fucked him up.

He came back and he was fine. Yeah. But then this weekend, or that weekend rather, he fought Roley Romero and Romero dropped him and he lost the decision. So they were going to like set up a big rematch. Now nobody wants to see the rematch because they both lost. They both lost. Well, actually Devin didn't lose. He won a decision, but he lost public credibility because it was a very boring fight. Still incredibly skillful boxer, world champion boxer, like very...

Very good boxer. But even the commentary, like Antonio Tarver was like, I don't like the way he's moving. His footwork seems erratic. Everything is like he needs to settle down. Jose Ramirez. Yeah. So Haney won this fight. Yeah. He won a decision. Okay. But it was the fans lost. And this was this big event in Times Square. This is also a big event because...

Turkey al-ashik the the guy from Saudi Arabia his excellency is the guy was dumping Incredible amounts of money into boxing so that he can get these guys to fight each other So he's put it he's like what do you need for the fight? How much to make this fight happen like I need 10 million dollars like done and like what like fuck I should ask for 20 It's that kind of a situation because the Saudis have so much money so Oscar de la Hoya was talking about this and he was saying

These guys are spoiled and they're afraid to risk anything. Right. Because the money so much, which is so interesting. Like you need a guy who's willing to risk it all to

to really fucking go for it. And these guys aren't willing to do that. And I think the Devin Haney thing, it's one of those things where you see a guy who is an unbelievably skilled fighter but loses one fight and they're just not the same again. Not the same. And Gervonta's still... Gervonta's still killing it. Killing it. But he had that fight with Lamont Roach where it was a draw.

And there was a legit draw. And, you know, you could even make the argument that Roach won that fight and they're going to fight again. That should be very interesting. But I think it's also...

For boxers, there's a situation where you can only keep up the RPMs for so long. All the greats, they just, there's a certain amount of times that you can keep training, a certain amount of times you can keep competing. And like we were talking about, like your arm, you know it's kind of fucked up. That happens with them too. Like the ankles are bad, something's bad. Like I can't do the same level of output. Yeah, it's not the same. They're not who they used to be. They might look the same, but they can't do what they could do five years ago, six years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

It's hard. It's a hard sport, man. But it's also because the glory is so high if you're successful. So great. People are willing to do it.

Yeah. Very crazy, though. Yeah. Thank God that's not how we make a living. Thank God. Dude, if the UFC was around when I was competing, I 100% would have done it. And then imagine how dumb I would be now at 57 years old. Oh, I'd be a mess. A lot of staring. Oh, I'd be a lot of drooling. So, hey, you look good. You losing weight? You losing weight? What are you doing? You dieting? Good. My brain would be like a four-cylinder engine. Like, meh, meh.

All fucked up. No, it's good. Misfiring. It's good you didn't get into that, too. It is, but I think I got the right amount of brain damage. Yeah, you've said that to me before. I think so. I think there's just a certain amount that you get that makes you just a little reckless. Yeah. Just a little crazy. Just a touch. Yeah, just a touch. I just got a... Yeah. Just a touch of brain damage that allows me to be... I like taking... I enjoy risks. Yeah. I like them. They're fun. Me, too. Did you ever fall on your head? Yeah, I had a couple devastating...

Yeah. Bad.

- A couple bad ones. - I bet it helps. - I think I have some frontal lobe damage. - I think it has something to do with it. - I like calculated risks. I think if you take this career path, you enjoy risk. - Clearly. Also, you don't have any choices. My thought was when I was first starting, I was like, I can't work, I can't do it, but I know I can do things. But I can't show up and do a job all day for the rest of my life.

I don't have that in me. I'm allergic to it. I didn't like... I was a latchkey kid. So, like, I didn't get a lot of, like, you got to do this, you got to do that. So the problem is, like, I developed not having people tell me what to do. Yeah. So I can't listen. I think every...

Comic has that thing too where you're like, I can't have a boss. Also, I was around enough bosses that were just total cunts and douchebags that I just like, in my mind, the boss is an asshole. Always. Every time. He's unappreciative, fucking idiot who you got to listen to him because he's responsible for your paycheck and he knows it. So he gets to act like a douchebag and you can't go, hey man, fuck you. Who are you talking to? Why do you talk to people like that, you fucking idiot? Yeah.

You can't because he's the boss. He's the boss, yeah. No, it sets you up for like, I'll figure out a way. I think if I hadn't done this, I would have, I definitely think I would have started my own business of some kind. You know what I mean? I would have been an entrepreneur of some kind. Yeah, you would have had to. But that's, you know, how many people don't or they get roped in and then they have a bunch of responsibilities like family. No, it's a fucking, yeah. I mean, now we're at the age too where you like, you can look back on 25 years of

People you know. Oh, my God. Who are, like, miserable. Oh, my God. People that are in hell. Yeah, in hell. In hell. Meanwhile, we're fucking... Killing it. Yeah, but you're doing fun things. You know what's really crazy is when people get out of stand-up and then they see everybody doing real well and they want to jump back in. And it's been like... I've gotten some messages from some friends that I know they haven't been on stand-up in a decade. Yeah.

And I'm like, you can't just get. You can't just jump back in. No. Well, if you do, like, you got to, like, start from the beginning. Yeah. Like, start doing open mic nights again. Like, you've been in the writer's room just doing writing for a sitcom for fucking eight years. You lose your footing so much in that time. It's a different, like, sometimes I've had, you know, a week off, two weeks off, even a month or something off.

where you're like, oh, you have sea legs. You're just like, whoa. I can't imagine 10 years. Dude, it happened to a lot of writers when they got in the strike. When the strike was going on, how long did that strike go on for?

God, it was months. Long ass time. And these guys have mortgages and the kids are in private school and their wife likes to spend money. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. And they're used to making, you know, half a million a year. Yeah. Doing real good. Yeah. And then all of a sudden it all dries up and like, oh fuck. And then their, their savings account and the wife's like, what are you going to do? Like, fuck. I think I'm gonna start doing standup again.

And they start trying to put together an act and they want to show up and then the club doesn't know who they are anymore. Oh, God. Oh. The anxiety. Scary. It's a scary feeling. It's the worst. But it's like decisions that you make in life. Like what are you going to do? Like what are you going to do with your life? Those are personal decisions, which is why they're like this whole free will versus determinism thing drives me crazy. Yeah.

Because these people that want to believe there is no such thing as free will, like, yeah, you can do that cute little thing. But you know that free will is real because you know that you decide to get up in the morning. Yeah. Like you tell me Jelly Roll didn't have free will to lose that 200 pounds. No shit.

Yeah. Perfect example. Yeah. Like that's hard to do. Yeah. You're 400 plus pounds. You're fat as fuck. You're drinking and partying every night. And then one day you put your foot down and that's it. Not doing this shit. Yeah. That's enough. I'm getting, I'm going to get healthy. That's free will. Yeah.

You're telling me determinism forced him into a position at 39 years old where he's all of a sudden going to decide to lose all this weight and it has nothing to do with his free will? That's silly. Will's a real thing. Of course. And we all have it. And you can just deny it. But it's why...

I don't know. Anything that you get, you accomplish that's work is through free will. It's through making choices, man. But then there is also a certain amount of determinism. If you grow up in a terribly abusive household and you're around drug addicts and violence and then you go and commit that, it's almost like you have no other choice.

examples. It's true. I get that, but you still make a choice. You do, but you don't even know what a good choice is because you've never even seen a good choice. That's a valuable analysis that you had

horrible modeling. So you just, you're just following a path you, you think is the only path. And some of those guys get involved in athletics, right? Some of those guys get lucky and they become a fighter or maybe they, they get lucky and they become musician or maybe they get lucky and they become something else or a comic. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just the choices that you make in this life are that you don't know if it's the right choice.

while you're doing it while you're making that choice well I'm about to find out whether making this TV show was the right choice no I'll find out do you have to piss it seems like you're wiggling I gotta piss I knew it I knew it should we wrap it up sure listen that what you showed me is amazing thanks man I'm sure it's gonna be fucking bad thoughts when is it out it's uh Tuesday so the tomorrow tomorrow yeah fuck yeah uh

The stuff that I saw is amazing. It's fucking hilarious. Thanks a lot, bro. I'm glad you're doing stuff, man. I'm just glad you're out there. It's fucking beautiful to see. I'm very excited for it, I'll tell you. I know it's an overused term, but it really was a dream come true to do it. Well, you can tell. You can tell by how well it came out. It's so ridiculous. It's so you. It's such a signature Tom Segura type of humor. Thanks, man. It's awesome. I'm excited for it. Thanks for having me on, man. My pleasure.

my brother anytime love you to death love you too bye everybody peace