#2342 - Jim Norton
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Joe Rogan podcast, check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast. I'm going to fucking put this up. Riley, what are you going to do with it? Yeah, I should have thrown it out, but I feel like if somebody put effort into it and gave it to me, just keep it. Yeah, I know. Well, that's how I wound up with this fucking snake on the desk. This is from during the entire podcast. Harlan Williams had this in his pants.

And he was saying that he got a worm. And he named his worm Dimitri. And at the end of the podcast, he pulls it out. And then he got such a fucking kick out of the fact that it was still on the desk when I interviewed Trump. I hope you explained where it came from. I didn't say shit. President, hold that. I didn't say anything. I think it's funny because when you said that, I was like, who gave that to you? Is that a seven-year-old? All right. Works out. Perfect. That feels correct. He is so unique.

He is, and I forgot he was in something about Mary. Oh, yeah. Which is literally one of the funniest movies ever made. And I watched him again. I'm like, God damn, I wish I was in that. I wish I had one line in that movie. Right, right, right. Well, the Farley brothers, they're the best. They have some bangers, man. You know, Kingpin.

Yeah, Bill Murray. Oh my God. I'm going to take these off. Oh my God. You don't like them? No, no, they're fine. I just, I'm so used to, I hate my own voice and hearing it come back. It's like I'm doing radio for 20 years and I still don't like to listen to my own fucking voice. Well, you used to do one. You used to do the one ear thing. But I saw Rich Voss, like too many times I've seen clips of Voss and he just does that and I'm like, do I look like that? Have I looked like that for two decades? I'm like, fucking Rich, put it on or take it off.

I like one ear. He just likes one ear open. I like one ear. I firmly believe that's some kind of like a childhood defense thing. Like there was something fishy that happened in childhood where you want to just kind of somehow stay present. Always be aware. Yeah. You might get attacked. Somebody fumbled. Yeah, somebody fumbled around. Interesting. I just got to keep my ears open. I don't know. That's a thing, though. A lot of people like one ear on. It's not uncommon. You feel...

When you have both ears covered, I just feel like I'm lost and I'm not in the room. And I guess I've gotten a little bit better with it, but just now I'm like, wow, I really can't hear. I always feel like I'm just fully locked in. You know, I don't hear anything else. I don't hear any distractions. When the headphones are on. Yeah, I like the headphones on. I like to be locked in.

Yeah, I do, but I just feel like I'm underwater sometimes. I went in for an MRI. I just go for them once a year. Do you? Just for the fuck of it? I want to, yeah. I'm getting older, and I'm like, you know, I want to fucking make sure I'm good, like make sure there's no lumps or anything. And they give you those shitty headphones, and I'm so claustrophobic. I'm laying there, and I'm terrified. And the noise. Yeah. Being married prepares you for that. Yeah.

You get good at blocking out. Oh my god, you feel claustrophobic. There's a loud noise. You want to kill yourself? Yeah, my wife will be in full conversation with me I have no idea what she said. I know fully blocked it out. Yeah, how many things have I agreed to? Because I wanted to shut up told you about it the other day. I'm like you did I don't want to argue I'm like I forgot. Yeah, I'm sorry I just tell you but it's it I asked the guy he goes you want music and I'm like, yeah I'm like play rock. I just rock and

And he was fucking like, he didn't speak English that well. So he started playing the Rocky theme song over and over. I actually bailed out and got out of the machine. Because you couldn't hear the song anymore? No, I just was too freaked out. I'm like, this guy's not hearing me. I'm squeezing that fucking ball. It's awful. So he had to take me out. And I'm like, I'll go back in. He goes, no, we'll have to start over.

Because once, apparently in an MRI, like, you have to be in the same position. Yeah. So I just, I said, fuck it. They did my whole body and they just, they couldn't finish with the brain. I was just like, I'm done. I'm out. Your brain's fine. You don't want to look in there anywhere. I hope not. No, I don't really want to see what's going on in there. No, no, no. Just little wires across the wrong way. Imagine if you could look into your brain and see your memories. You're like, whoa.

Eventually. I mean, Black Mirror did an episode of that where you're like, I love how they keep the technology simple, where you're just kind of scrolling through something and they can see all the memories. And you'll eventually be able to do that. I mean. Yeah. Eventually we'll have a hard drive in our head. I would do it too. I would absolutely link up. I think we talked about this last time, but Ray Kurzweil, who talks about singularity. I still think his time frame is wishful thinking. He thinks by like 2045, right? Yeah.

He'll be in his, like, 90s, so I think he's just trying to hope it happens before. He might be right. That makes sense. 20 years from now? Yeah. I think that's correct. I hope so. I think everything's moving in exponential pace, and I think...

You know, if you just look at what's happening with AI, AI 10 years ago was non-existent. You never heard anything about it. And now everybody uses it on their phone all the time. I use it. My wife's obsessed with it, which is irritating because she literally will just talk to it. And so I'm like, all right, let me try it and see. But it's great if like you get an error message on your computer. Like what does fucking Mac error 1101 mean? And then you add it and it actually tells you in a very...

Comprehensive way what that error message means better than googling something. Oh, yeah, so I'm using it for that But it's great for a lot of things kids are using it though Unfortunately for like term papers and shit and they're getting busted because AI knows when it's AI So they just run the paper into AI and AI goes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, oh, yeah, that's that's my work Yeah, that's either that yeah, but I mean it's good for for looking things up right now I'm just using it as a better Google, but when I attach it to my brain

No, because I was in it the other day and it said we detected suspicious activities and they wanted me to log in. Maybe because I had a VPN or something. Because in Texas you can't jerk off without a fucking VPN. They want your license to watch porn. Isn't that crazy? It sucks. We're protecting children. Too fucking late.

First of all, as if kids don't know about VPNs. They all do. And it's also one of those things where I get you don't want your kids to watch porn. That's fine. And it's a lot harder. It was harder when I was a child to get you to find magazines in the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I meant the smell of those old shitty magazines and find them and fucking hot. It was the best. But now if I had it on my phone or I had the availability, I mean, my sex addiction would have been even worse.

So I guess I get why they want to protect kids. Oh, it's got to be fucking kids up. It's not just that, but the violence that they see. You see so much violence. I see way more violence now than I've ever seen in my whole life. Way more murders and car accidents and animal attacks and...

I see it. Tom Segura and I have this horrible text thread. We text each other the worst shit we find every day. We're trying to freak each other out, and we've been doing it for years. And so it's just my algorithm is fucked. Yeah, it's just fucked. There's certain sites, and I never promote the site just because it's just too gruesome. But there's one site I go to.

where you can do everything. There'd be headings. And I would look at this stuff before bed. And I don't know why. I wouldn't enjoy seeing it, but I would look at it and it just gives you some kind of a weird, horrible feeling. But there's certain things I can't watch at this point. Like I can't watch people burning anymore.

That's a rough way to... Yeah, yeah. At one point, oh, burnings were all the rave. I can't watch them anymore. It's all that. That's such a crazy thing to say. I can't watch people burning anymore. I'm all burnt out. It bothered me. It got to a point where I can't see beheadings anymore. There was a point where I could watch them and just almost watch detached, but now it's too... Do you remember the journalist? It was like... Daniel Pearl? Yes, that's right. Yeah. He was like the first... But the cameraman panicked.

and kind of came off him a little bit. And so they didn't... It was kind of... They showed it, but that was the first one. Yeah. And then that guy they called Jihad John, who was like... Because he was British. And they eventually caught him. I forget the other people he did, but it was like certain contractors and stuff that they would put in those orange jumpsuits to mimic Guantanamo, and they would... Just gruesome shit, man. Really gruesome shit. Gruesome shit. And it does fuck you up. 100%. I don't know what it does...

but it fucked you up. Like, I don't know how it messes me up, but it definitely is not healthy. Well, it makes you filled with anxiety and just knowing that that exists and then seeing it are two very different things.

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Because it's tangible. Like a car accident is a tangible thing. Like if you're not careful and you drive like an asshole, this is what happens to you. Or if someone's driving like an asshole and you're not paying attention, you got to be aware of everybody. Right. So I try not to text and drive anymore. I remember one time I was doing a gig and I was in full sex addict mode. And fucking Sam Roberts, he was still an intern at that point, came with me because Kenny was busy. So Sam came to help me sell merchandise.

And I remember he was, I think I, did I let him, I drove, but he was in the passenger seat and I was just dirty talk texting the whole way home because I couldn't text and drive because he was in the car. And I was like, I can't get fucking, I can't be texting some woman and kill the intern. That would just be a lawsuit waiting to happen. So it's like the texting and driving thing I've kind of backed off.

of. Yeah, well, that's what Apple CarPlay is for, you know? No. You don't do that? Fuck, dude. The idea of... I did that one time. I connected my phone to a BMW X6 and...

My girlfriend at the time, my ex-girlfriend, came with me to the dealership. And the guy is telling me, oh, you should connect your phone. And I do. And my fucking phone, my phone book, my contact list comes up. Right. And one of the girls, you know, I put how I knew her. And it was like a domination fantasy. So that came up her name. And domination fantasy came up on that little window in the X6. And I'm like, I'll never connect anything to my car again. There's just.

Just too much going on. Just change the name. I mean, how much time do I have to go back and change all the names? Just change the name to like personal trainer. But that's another code word. It doesn't have to be. I got busted one time talking dirty. I was texting dirty and the escort's name came up on my phone.

And it was like one of those names that cannot be like a regular person. So I ran, my girlfriend was fucking screaming at me in the car. She's like, who the fuck is that? And I'm like, it's fucking Anthony. I'm like, I have a code word for Anthony in case I ever lose my phone. So I had to run up into the bathroom and just like my fingers were shaking and change it to Anthony. And I came in 15 minutes later. I'm like, see, it's Anthony. But it wasn't by then. It was like, yeah.

You blew it, Jim. You got caught. So I don't connect anything. Even though I'm not fucking anybody else, I still don't trust it. I don't connect anything to my car. Well, your phone is listening anyway. Mine is for sure. I've come to grips with the fact that everything that I text is getting read. Probably. 100%. No questions. Through the ads? Including like...

Stuff that's on Signal. You know, Tucker told me that. He said that they found his, the government knew that he was going to meet Putin because they read a Signal. And he's like, I didn't even know that that was possible. Yeah. Is that the one that they got caught using in the defense chat? Yeah. The Signal? Yeah.

But that was because there was another guy in the signal chat that I think someone let in the signal chat on purpose. Was it on purpose or do you think it was one of those things where you fuck up and you just like, you know how you'll send something and a predictive text name comes up and you just hit, like if I'm going to text you and I accidentally J-O and all of a sudden it's Joe DeRosa comes up. And I just send him. I've done that before, but this was a giant group of people that are in the defense department.

How do you include a reporter in that? That's a terrible mistake. That doesn't make any sense. My ex-publicist was bad-mouthing me to somebody, and she actually sent it to me by mistake.

What did she say about you? It wasn't an overt. It was one of those things where we weren't working together anymore. And I was doing Neil Brennan's podcast. And like, you know, blocks where you talk about all these things that blocked. And she said something about like, oh, well, Norton's on three blocks already. No shock. It was just it was some comment that was not complimentary. And then it was like, oh, sorry, I meant that for him. And I just kind of left it there. I'm like, I got it. I knew you didn't like me. That's why I left you.

Your own publicist hates your guts. Publicists can be such a problem. They're so incompatible with people that are wild. Yes, because all they want to do is they have to paint it in a way that's palatable to everybody. Like, I understand that. It's a hard job and you have some fucking asshole who's out trying to get laid. Especially a guy like you or someone who says wild things. You know, it's like that's part of the fun of being you. Yes, but it also comes back and here's where it's negative.

I do on YouTube. I have the podcast and I'm trying to do podcast ads. I've never, you know, I never bought ads on YouTube before, but I'm like, it doesn't buy your views. It just puts it like where people will see it. And if they like it, they click on it. Every one of my ads gets shot down. They accused me of election advertising in the United States.

I put up an ad and they said this violates election advertising and I didn't even know how to respond to that. What was the ad? It might have been a, I had George Santos on, but it was just a funny podcast. That guy's hilarious. Dude, he was fucking, he told me how bad Jerry Nadler smelled.

Because I asked him who had the worst breath in Congress, and he wouldn't answer, but he told me the worst body odor was Jerry Nadler. It was just funny. It's just funny. He's a character. He is. It's just amazing that he was a congressman. I know. I have a real affection. You know how it is when you meet somebody. It's like they're...

They're always more human when you meet them and it's harder to not like somebody. Like I don't agree with Lauren Bobart, but I met her and she couldn't have been nicer. And I'm like, I can't dislike her. She was nice to me. So whenever you meet someone and I had him over and he was great. He was funny. So a sense of humor about himself and he was shit talking and catty and

Yeah. I was like, fuck, I love this guy. But they accused me of election advertising. So now so many times I've tried to put ads after and they continually say it's either shocking content or election advertising. Oh, they're just targeting you. They're just targeting me. And it's like, how are you supposed to advertise comedy with some profanity in it if it's shocking content? How is that election? I mean, he's not even running for anything. And it wasn't a political...

rally podcast at all. It was just us talking about what happened. And we chatted politics, but I don't push political views on people. They've got you labeled right wing, which is kind of funny. It really is. It is so funny. And people don't know what to, like the conservatives, it's so funny, people come see me from Gutfeld. Because I do Gutfeld a lot, and his people will come see me, and it's just fun when I talk about my wife to watch the joy drain out of their faces. They find out it's a trans woman. Oh, we had no idea. That's not the type of Tucker we like, buddy. Yeah.

They get very... It's a very weird place to be. Yeah. People who like my humor don't necessarily like my personal life, and people who like my personal life don't necessarily like my humor. It's a weird... I guess if nobody feels like you're...

100% in with them, they don't know what to make of you. Well, you were saying that about Oliver Anthony, and that I wasn't aware of, that he was getting in trouble apparently right after North of Richmond came out, that people were saying he wasn't really conservative. Yeah, they were giving him shit about saying like, oh, he's not who we thought he was. Meanwhile, he writes this great song, and people love it, and they look at his art, and they love his art, but because he feels a little bit differently, a lot of people turned on him, and it was like, what

I wasn't even aware of that at all. Yeah. I didn't know. Do you know what the subject was? I don't remember if they if he had said something after it or if they went back and found out things he had said prior that they felt like his politics didn't line up.

It's almost like when they got mad about fucking Dylan Mulvaney. Like, needing to connect to the belief system of somebody who drinks the same beverage is just such fucking psychotic thinking. Then again, I've drank piss, so I don't expect a whole lot of people to line up politically and rally behind me with fucking yellow flags. But I just don't care. I don't care.

I don't give a fuck. I don't care who believes it or like, I don't care like what the, I mean, I'm a fucking Sabbath fan. I don't give a shit who those guys vote for. It's so... So stupid. Inconsequential to me. Well, it's just a symptom of this bizarrely disconnected society where everybody's so separated. It is. And you got it. It's got to be driving you crazy or maybe you detach from it because you see things. I mean, I know you, so I'll see them say like, he's this right way. And I'm like, you guys don't really know Joe. It's like, it's, they don't,

To see yourself painted in such a way has got to be at one point frustrating and then you have to just let it go, right? Yeah, you got to let it go. But when I – I mean the most frustrating thing was seeing it on CNN. I was like, okay, so this thing that I thought was the news forever. Now I know you're not accurate at all because you're attacking me and you're painting me in this very bizarre light because it's convenient for you.

There's a weird thing, and maybe this is, again, because I'm in my 50s, and I remember thinking the news was real and accurate. Because I remember Walter Cronkite and all that shit. And it's this constant sense of disappointment, like,

Like, fuck. Like, they're really not what I like. I'm still an idiot who believes in like the adults and they're going to do the right thing. Yeah. And it just constantly is a confirmation that, yeah, they are. They're liars. They're fucking biased liars. Yeah. And they're paid to lie. They're just propagandists. That's what the news, the mainstream news is. I mean, there's real news now. Sure. You can get the real news from Glenn Greenwald. You can get the real news from Matt Taibbi. There's a few people out there that will give you unbiased news about.

But it's so funny, like even them, you know, when they will highlight a very particular thing that maybe Trump did or someone did on the right and everybody attacks them. It's like, do you want them to lie? Yeah. Just because you want your team to be infallible? Like, what do you what do you want? And Glenn Greenwald, I had never heard of him. I don't really follow a lot of like what people are saying. I don't watch debates.

But I obviously heard about him when that video came out and I saw, and I loved how he handled that. Yeah, he handled it great. Privacy invasions are so fucking disgusting. Right. They're disgusting when they're done to anybody. I don't care how much you hate the guy's guts, but I was like, I don't even know who this guy is, but I like how he addressed that. Yeah, it's my private life and tough shit. I kind of, I like that he handled that.

I thought very, very, he took it head on. Well, John Ronson talked about that in his book, You've Been Publicly Shamed. Yes. You know, like if you're not ashamed, then it doesn't work. And that's the reality of it. And Glenn handled it perfectly. He's not ashamed. Yeah. Or you can't let them see you're ashamed. Because I wake up just dipped in it. Right.

I fucking... The first thing I think of, good morning, shame. But that's... You're open about it, though. I mean, that's the thing. It's like they can't really attack you for something you're attacking yourself for. Yes. And if you tell them... Like, I did something... Like, it's so... I watched... My special premiered, and I went into YouTube, and I watched it with people as they were watching, and just commenting and talking. And this...

feeling of shame. Even when people are being nice, I can't get away from how embarrassed I am. It's almost like when people see you doing something, you're like, oh, Jimmy's trying. Look at little Jimmy trying. Yeah.

And I was typing back and everything, but it's so anti what feels good for me to do. Even when people are being nice, I find it horrifying and humiliating. I don't know where that comes from, but I kind of wish I didn't have it. This episode is brought to you by Visible. Now you know I tend to go down a lot of rabbit holes. I want to know everything about everything.

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Well, I think everybody hates watching themselves. First of all, because when I watch a comic, I want to watch a comic doing material either that I know and I want to see again. You know, like if I'm watching Shane and he's doing his bit on the Navy SEALs, I want to see it again. Or I just want to see it, you know, I want to just, I've never seen it develop. I want to see the thing.

But when you're doing it, you're aware of everything. You're aware of all the edits you've made. You're aware of all the different ways you've done it. You're aware of when you're trying to sell it a little too much and you're not in the moment. There's all the grossness that you see that other people aren't going to see where you're like,

Ew. It's fucking... I hate watching myself. Dude, it was so hard. It was so hard not to just attack myself in the chat. Like, all I wanted to do was watch it and go, this fucking boo sucks. Boo, boo. Nice blinking 56-year-old.

But I didn't do it. I'm like, don't be a fucking... I think it was Jay Oakerson was doing something. He did his special and he shot it at Skankfest one year. And I think Lewis took him out and they were looking at the stage before. And I was one of those guys. Jay is just like, oh, he's a fucking... I think Lewis goes, sometimes I know we're like that, but you just got to enjoy it. Like...

Once, and I thought of that. I'm like, sometimes just enjoy things are going okay. Yeah. You're happy with what you did. I love the special. I love the material. Don't put yourself in a position where you're like, you fucking suck. Like, it doesn't have to be that way. I feel like just put it out there and walk away from it. Leave it alone. Let people decide what they decide. And if you don't like it, you just work on the next one and make sure that you don't make it.

make the same mistakes twice. Yeah. That's it. That's all you can do. But I spent a lot of time, like I wouldn't, I don't think I've ever loved anything as I put it out. This I like more, but the older you get, the better you get. So it's like a little easier now than it was. Yeah. The first Tonight Show I did was 2004 and I was out in LA and there was my buddy Joey Silvera who worked for Evil Angel and would film a lot of the greatest porn. Joey was a fucking, you'd recognize him if you saw him. He was in old movies. So I went to his house to watch

my first Tonight Show with another guy, this other guy, Brandon Iron. And I went into the basement while they watched it. I couldn't watch it in front of other people. Oh, that's hilarious. And it's not to be because I think I'm an artist. It's just humiliating. Right. It's fucking... It's embarrassing. Yeah. Because I feel like people are like, are you going to laugh? I don't want people to feel pressure to laugh because I'm around...

It's weird. It's weird watching yourself. Some guys can do it, though. Yeah, they're psychos. They are fucking psychopaths. They're probably not healthy. Oh, my God, dude. Do you know what mental illness you need to sit someone down next to you when you're special playing? How about people that want you to watch their thing and they want to sit there with you? Like, hey, watch this. And you're like, I don't know.

It puts you in a weird... If I do an acting role, I don't love acting, which is great because nobody loves when I do it. It works out nicely. But if I do something I like, I have to see it first and I have to watch it and go, okay, I'm not embarrassed by this. I can go and watch it in a premiere. You know what I mean? But I have to see it first to know if I'm going to feel humiliated

The Irishman I didn't see first. Obviously, Scorsese's not going to send me a fucking cut. And I didn't know I made it until literally the night before. But that was different because I'm like, I don't care how, whatever. It was a stand-up performance. Right, right, right. A little bit easier than acting. It's humiliating. Yeah, it's gross. I don't like any of it. I've been in a couple movies. I've refused to go to the red carpet. I sneak in through the back. They were like, I want you to walk the red carpet. I'm like, nope. Is it because you don't like it? Because everyone would talk to you. I'm afraid no one's going to talk to me on the red carpet.

Do you know how embarrassing it is when you hear that person who walks you through in the front and you're standing there ready for your moment and you hear her going, oh, Jim Norton. And then you'll hear a second and then she goes, Jim Norton, he's a comedian. And it's like, oh, fuck, they have no idea who I am. It's just humiliating. So I don't like doing it, man.

I just don't like the attention. I don't like standing there where they take pictures, just standing there, just looking around. Look at me, Joe. Look at me. Look at me. Over here. Over here. Some people love it. Actresses love it. They pose. They give you their good side.

Yeah. Yeah. Give you a little bit of practice in the mirror. But I almost understand that I have more tolerance for actors who love it because even though they're as big of attention idiots as we are, they don't get the constant feedback. Like for them, it's their night of feedback. Right. Whereas with us, we're like,

I mean, I've been on a run for like four nights. Before I came here, actually, at the cellar, I had four like shit nights in a row. Just. All the material I'm doing now is new, so it's like I'm trying this. You know, it just feels like you're Frankensteining it. It's not there yet. Yeah.

But I know I'm going to have another night and another night. And that comes and goes quickly. But actors, they have like one night to stand there and smile. And then they just get attacked in the fucking in the comments or in the reviews. So I'm a little more tolerant of them than comedians. Because comedians who love that, it's like how much fucking attention do you need, dude? Yeah.

Yeah. You constantly get feedback. Yeah. You should be shying away from feedback. Too much feedback is bad for you. I really believe that. 100%. And I stopped reading Twitter comments. Occasionally I'll do it now. And it wasn't just to say I wasn't reading them. It was because even positive feedback, I'm like, you needy fuck.

How much, you know, how many taps on the shoulder do you need? How many like, good job, Jim, or you suck, Jim. Like, how much interaction from people do you need? It's not normal. It's not healthy. I stop reading almost everything, even stuff that's not me. And I stopped a couple weeks ago. I just stopped going on social media. I will occasionally, if someone sends me something funny, I'll watch it. But then I get off my phone right away. And I think on my new phone number that I'm going to get...

I'm not going to have any social media. I'm just going to keep my old phone number and only use that for social media. I just don't think it's good for you. It's not. And although there's times like my algorithm, I'm obsessed with, I think we talked about just Japanese Hornets and a lot of MMA. Like my algorithm is healthier now than it would be. There's still a few things that will pop up that, you know, show what I've been looking at. Like if my wife is next to me, she'll see what I'm looking at. I'm like, oh, no, it's just, you know.

You know how it is. Yeah. You go down the rabbit hole, you probably shouldn't go down. But it's not as unhealthy as it would have been at one point. Like a lot of it is just MMA stuff and animals and nice shit. Yeah, I get a lot of that. A lot of it is people getting knocked out. You like the knocked out? I like watching jujitsu tips because then I'll bring them in and ask the guy to show me. Like, how do you, is it possible to do this? And he'll kind of show me and I'll just forget it. But it's fun. Yeah, I've got a lot of that too. But it's just, I just think it's a giant waste of time.

And it's also your brain needs time to just think and you need time to just be in your own head and think about your own thoughts and trying to formulate them properly. Really like get an understanding, like why do I think this way? What is it about this that I've decided is correct? Right. And roll it around. And when you're constantly looking at other people's thoughts, I just don't think it gives you much time for that. That's exactly it. Why do I think what I think? Yeah.

Hitchens did a great speech. It was in Toronto about free speech. And one of the things he was talking about is when somebody says something that you don't agree with. I think the example he gave was Holocaust denial. He goes, you have to protect that person's speech because if nothing else, it makes you examine, OK, well, how do I know what I know? How do I know other than someone told me like you have to kind of examine how you come to your own conclusion?

And I do that a lot. Like in the shower, I'll just kind of stand there. It's really like we all have a weird showering method. I just kind of stand there with my hands like this. It's bizarre. It's like womb-like. And I just stand there and I think or I go through arguments or I go through conversations or debates. And that's the one time I really get to think during the day where I don't let anything else interfere. Yeah.

But being off social media is probably a lot healthier. Just again, it's other people's thoughts. I don't care what people think. I don't know why I read it. Well, I care what people think, but I don't care enough to have that intervene and invade my thoughts all day long. I mean, I'm fascinated by people, but I like to talk to them for real, for real like this. Yeah. This is like, you know, because I think that's also having a podcast and having

what I think is the best way to communicate with people and to be able to be so lucky to be able to do it all the time. I think I get plenty of other people's input. Right. And you get the real opinions. Yeah. You sense it in a room with a person. Again, it's harder...

to dislike or to caricature somebody when you've met them and when you've actually sat with them. It's like, nah, I know this person. I kind of felt their energy and it's like, they're just a regular person. It's easy when you look at somebody to hate their guts. Yeah. And I've bashed a few people. It was always so embarrassing. We would do Jocktober.

And ONA never went into other people's studios, but I would. And I'd be on the road. And it was the fucking – I was in Boston with Kenny one time. He's like, they're having you in, but you jocktobered them. And I was like, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

So I went in and you know you you you just go there like yeah, you really uh, I'm like, yeah, man It was just something we do but you have you face it and you realize they're nice guys. It was just yeah It's a dumb radio show I had fun and I've actually become friendly with a couple of guys who we used to attack But you only get that through meeting somebody and actually talking to them right one the worst is when you meet someone and you have a conversation with them and you're cool you think oh, we're good and

And then they'll go and talk shit about you somewhere else and completely mischaracterize you. Have you had that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've had that. Yeah, that's embarrassing. That's sad. It feels bad. Yeah, well, it's just like...

Okay. Well, I'll never talk to you again because I know that you do this now. It's crazy. Yeah. But it's also, it's like, why are you doing that? Generally, it's when I had a conversation with them and it didn't go well for them. Right. So then they just harbor that thing and then they just fucking stew it in their head and then they just mischaracterize you and try to...

twist you around because they're trying to win this argument they already lost. Yes. You know, it's like, you know, when you get an argument, you didn't have anything to say and then you're in the shower like, ah, I should have said this. I should have said that. They're just doing that and they're just going and doing that on another podcast. Yes. Relitigating what the jury has already come in on. Yes. And it's human instinct to do. I also think sometimes people do it and they don't think you're going to see it.

Like, especially when you're, you know, you've such a high level of like recognition that if somebody, they're probably like, I'll never see this. And I can just, and then you see it and they're probably like, oh, I shouldn't have said that. But I've read things that hurt my feelings. I'm like, why would you say that? Like, yeah, I was nice to you. I don't know. It's weird. It's like, you know, humans are so strange. We're so strange in our weird little quirks and the way we communicate with each other and what is truth? What's real? Who are you? Yeah.

You know, who are you? You're different every day. Yeah. You're different depending on how your day went. You know, your reaction to something. I remember one time this guy wasn't paying attention. Traffic was stopped and he rear-ended me. And he didn't have a license. He's from Mexico. But I had been doing yoga like every day. And I was like, you okay? And he's like, yeah, I'm okay. I'm like, all right, man. And I go, why don't you have a license? He's like, whatever.

I can't get a license. I go, so why are you driving? He's like, I got to work. I go, all right. I get it. I wasn't mad at him, but it was because I was doing yoga like every day. We were doing this hot yoga challenge, Ari and Tom and Bert and I. I remember that. We were doing it like – I was doing yoga like every day. So I was so calm. I was like, okay, well, take care of yourself. I'm going to get out of here because his car was fucked. My car was fucked, but it was –

it was drivable. Yeah. It was a Porsche. Like it was a really nice car. And he had like this fucking shitty Honda and he, but you know, the way he broke, like when you break your, your front end dives down. And so he kind of got under my car and lifted my car up a little bit. And,

caved in my back bumper a little bit, but they just replaced the bar and the engine wasn't fucked and my exhaust was dented a little bit. His car was fucked. He couldn't drive. So he got to be there when the cops came and he couldn't drive away. Right. And I was like, I don't know what to tell. I'm going to get out of here.

Oh, you just left. Yeah. I was like, he doesn't have any money. Like, I'm going to pay for this. Yes. And I'm like, this is going to hurt me. I have the money to fix it. So, all right. Take care, man. Glad you're okay. Being zen like that, like, because it reminds me of, I was leaving the Holland Tunnel with Karen Feehan. We were doing a gig in Jersey. And it was bumper to bumper. And I came, you know, there was like that merge where you think you're never going to get out of it. And a guy...

And he goes, you hit my car. And I'm like, I know I didn't hit his car, but he made us, it was bumper to bumper. I'm like, let's just talk on the other side of the tunnel. Like, let's get out of this fuck. Cause I was going to be late for the gig. And he goes, no, we're going to pull over and wait for the police.

Something got this piece of shit is trying to shake me down. Yeah. So we wound up one of those awful traffic women was there. You know, the people that just they work for the city and they dress like cops, but they're not cops. Right. But if you assault one of them, it's like a big deal. So we pulled over and I said, is it OK if we just trade licenses? And she went, yeah, just trade licenses, which I think kind of shamed him into like letting us move on. Otherwise, he was going to have me fucking held up there or pay him on that. So you didn't hit his car at all?

Karen said I didn't. It was a merge, and if I did, it was a one-mile-an-hour bump, but there was no mark on his car at all. I think the whole thing was a scam because we traded licenses, and I never heard from the guy. Have you ever seen that thing where people get in front of people's cars and slam on the brakes? I've seen it. Oh. I mean, it's terrible, and the best is when you have a dash cam, and then you see them, they recognize the dash cam, and then they just scurry back into their cars. This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Summer jobs can be extremely rewarding.

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There was one recently, I think it was in New Jersey, where these people, they tried it and it didn't work. And they threw it in reverse and backed up fast and slammed into this guy's car or this lady's car. But she had a dash cam the entire time. Yes. And she's on the phone. Oh, my God. These people just backed up into me. And then they got out of the car and they're like, what did you do? What did you do? And then they saw the dash cam like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I've seen that. I think that's what I'm referring to. They scurry back into the car and take off. Yep. Yep.

When I saw, like, I'm so cynical. Like, people in Philly, you gotta let people in Philly, like, if a bus hits something, there's, like, locals that will just run up and just lay next to the bus like they were in the fucking accident. Which is, I get it, you know what I mean? But they forget that there's cameras everywhere and they can just see you walking up.

But this Air India plane crash, my first thought was that this guy, they said, survived. I'm like, oh, he's bullshitting. He didn't. Right. He's faking it. No, he survived. But he did survive. Yeah, because he said his brother was on the plane or something. 11A. See you at 11A. And by the way, to all the people who are going to now look for 11A, stop. Yeah, stop. If anything else, that's the last seat you should take. Usually it's the back where you're best off. Yeah. I wonder if the plane broke open and he just got...

There's a woman who was a teenager when it happened. It's called the woman who the girl who fell from the sky. And she had apparently they were like two miles up and her the plane blew up, whatever. And it came apart and she fell two miles, somehow survived. She hit a barn, right? Didn't she go through the roof of a barn? No, she fell into the what do they call the the.

The fucking... The Brazil rainforest. Oh, the Amazon? The Amazon. She fell into the Amazon, was gone for 10 days. Whoa. Apparently, again, unless I was bullshit, they said she found an old boat with gas and she had to pour that on one of her wounds to kill the maggots. Whoa. And then she finally did get out and get rescued. And...

Look at this. 17 year old girl miraculously survived falling 10,000 feet from a plane then surviving 11 days. Isn't 10,000 feet, isn't that two miles? No, what's a mile? Yeah, it's about two miles. Two miles? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine falling two miles from a plane? She survived 11 days alone in the Peruvian Amazon rainforest. After the plane, she was struck by lightning. Jesus, I didn't read that part. The plane was struck by lightning and disintegrated in the air.

Still strapped to her seat fell from the sky and survived. Holy shit. What did she hit though? Did she hit like a mountain in slightly? How do you the impact though? I don't know how you survive that impact. Oh my god She had a broken collarbone a torn leg knee ligament. That's it after the crash She spent 11 days alone the jungle before being rescued. She found a lumberjack camp. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh

Wow, she became a respected scientist specializing in mammology and focusing on bats. Wouldn't it be funny if she was the lady who released COVID? Because her memory's no good anymore after the plane crash? Ah, here, drink this. She specialized on bats and she got a job in Wuhan. She had no idea. She had no idea. She's like, be free. Bit some guy selling fish on the corner and he went and fucked somebody. Oh, man.

But there was another one too. There was a flight attendant. And again, who I think was trapped. The front of the plane fell. And I think that she was almost from 30,000 feet. And if I remember correctly, it hit a mountain. It was almost like she hit it on the right angle and slid. Yeah, there it is.

Yeah. Highest fall without a parachute in history. 33,000 foot plunge after a plane explosion in 72. She was the only survivor. Crash into the mountains of Czechoslovakia after a suspected bomb detonated. Jeez.

The lady who felt her parachute didn't open and she landed on a pile of ants, fire ants, and the fire ants kept her alive. Right, right. Shocked her body. Yeah. Somehow or another, the fire ants, the shock of the sting of fire ants kept her alive. What, did it slow her heart down or something or stop it from? No. What?

What? The odds of falling into a fire ant pile. It's usually a bad thing to land in a mound of fire ants at 80 miles an hour, but not if you're Joan Murphy. Oh, Joan Murray. 14,000 feet right into a fucking pile.

50% chance of surviving a fall of 48 feet, which is a four-story building. Mortality rate rushes all the way up to 90 when you fall 84 feet, a distance of a seven-story building. So if you're falling from a whopping 14,500 feet, just over two and a half miles, you safely bet you're almost definitely not going to get out alive. One woman did.

So she fell. A backup parachute opened at 700 feet, quickly deflated. She continued to plummet towards the ground at 80 miles an hour. She survived. There it goes. She survived thanks to the fact that she landed directly on a mound of fire ants. Doctors believe the intense shock of being stung over 200 times by the ants released a surge of adrenaline that kept her heart beating.

By the way, does that prove to you how little I know about the human body? My instinct said that, oh, your heart slows down. Like, I thought, like, oh, maybe it would slow your heart down when they bit you, and it does just the opposite. I thought, like, maybe it slows your beat down like being frozen. I bet that's just a wild guess as to why it kept her alive, because if she was putty, you know, there's no way it would have kept her alive. Yeah. Maybe it stopped her heart from—maybe they got to her right after, too. You know, who knows? Whew.

You've watched that guy who fucking lets things bite him in the woods? Coyote something? Yeah, Coyote Peterson. He's a psychopath, but his stuff is very entertaining. But I think he's the bullet ant. The bullet ant or the Japanese hornet was the worst? The bullet ant's supposed to be the worst. The bullet ant's supposed to be like 24 hours of intense pain.

Yeah, my friend Steve got bit by one of those. On purpose or no? No, he was in the Amazon. He got bit on his foot. And was it as bad as he said? He said for hours it was just impossible. The pain was just impossible. And then it slowly dissipated to kind of manageable. Is that the one where they put in the gloves? Yeah. You see that one, the tribe where they do that and their hands are blackened by bites? Didn't Steve-O do that? Yeah. Did he? Yeah, he did that. He was.

Yeah, he put the gloves on. How long did he last? Well, once you get bit, it's a 24-hour experience. Yeah, I'm very squeamish. Insects, it's funny. I've never gotten over this insect. I think I saw a kid...

There was a brother and sister when I was a kid. We were all the same age. I think she was a year older than me and him were. And there was such a bizarre little friendship because they used to pee their pants. And I would ask them to sit on my face with their pants. It was a really bizarre. Yeah, I know. It was a very lovely childhood in good old Edison. Good old Edison, New Jersey. But I saw him get stung by yellow jackets. What is that? That's the worst thing? Executioner wasp. Oh. But Coyote Peterson said it was worse than a bullet ant. Oh, my God.

watching a guy run with bees on his arms and screaming. I think that scarred me for the rest of my life with insect. We used to break up bees nest and I'll never forget the sight of this kid running with just three yellow jackets on his arm. And I just, that stuck with me for, I guess, 49 years now, 50 years. It bothers me. I just can't,

Insects have a very weird effect on people. Oh, yeah. Like to be so skeeved out by something. It's like rats instead of like small bunnies don't bother you, but rats do. Maybe it's in the DNA or something where it's supposed to bother you. I think so for sure. I think that's what aphidiophobia and arachnophobia comes from.

You know, I bet someone in your DNA, someone down the line was either killed by a spider or like really badly hurt by a spider. And it's just in your DNA to be absolutely terrified when you see a spider. What's a what's a phytophobia snakes? Oh, some people just they have it so bad.

Like they see snakes and they just fucking start panic and they have a panic attack and they just can't handle it. Where other people, like I'm scared of snakes for sure, but I can look at them. They don't freak me out. Can you hold them? Yeah. Yeah. I can hold them, but obviously I don't want to be around them. They're fucking serpents. They're literally in the Bible. Yeah.

Yeah, the Bible does frown. The snake and a bed wrap in the fucking Bible. It's fucking Satan. Satan comes in the form of a serpent. A serpent, yeah. I can hold one if I know it's not going to. Again, I have a healthy fear. If I know it's a boa constrictor, like that guy in the Granite Village who walks around with a giant yellow one.

Which kind of creeps me, because if it was to really attack someone, I mean, I guess you'd have to kill it. There's nothing you can do. Yeah. It's a large boa constrictor. There's not much you can do once it's around your neck. You need help. You know, they're very strong. I mean, they crush deer and swallow them whole. They do. Yeah. I mean, you gotta be a real special kind of fucking idiot to have one of those things as a pet. Because you just have a monster as a pet. As long as you feed that monster. But if you leave...

Baby in a room with a Python you come back a half an hour later. You're gonna have a fat Python Absolutely, I'm just quiet and I'd sleep they don't give a fuck They're just like that's what they're there for nature has designed them to kill everything they can I can't any letterman has a lot of snakes like she has them as pets and her fiance has leave a Betrach's a room full of fucking snakes, and I don't get it. I'm like they're not warm Yeah, they don't have any recognition of you interesting. Yes, I

I guess, but we have a puppy and I've never owned a dog before. And it's like, it's nice to have, I don't like taking care of anything. I fucking, I don't have that instinct in me. I just don't like it. But this dog kind of, I get why people like having a dog. I get it. Oh, I love dogs. If my wife only lets me have one, I have one dog. But,

But if it was up to me, at one point in time, I had five dogs. You did? Yeah. Does he shit in the house? No. Mine does a lot. I mean, he does if he eats things that are bad. He gets diarrhea, and he gets diarrhea at least a couple times a year. Oh, he does? Yeah, he's a dumbass. He's a golden retriever. He's not that smart. Like, he ate a turtle recently, and he got horrible diarrhea, shit all over the place. He got diarrhea.

little pieces of shell stuck in his stomach. He had to go to the hospital. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a nightmare. And he also ate gravel at one point. He ate five pounds of gravel because someone accidentally dropped some chicken food on the gravel and he just assumed that the gravel was food, so he ate all the gravel.

It is crazy how nothing registers halfway through the gravel pile. He's just a dumbass. Doesn't taste like chicken. He's a dumbass, but I fucking love dogs, man. I wish I could have... I can't go to a pound. I can't go. If I go to a dog, I'll bring them all home. I'll just like, I'll take them all.

If I had a giant piece of land, I would probably just have every dog I could ever get. We went to North Shore Animal Rescue, and actually Beth Stern helped me. I don't know her well. I met her through Whitney, but she's huge there and has great connections and helped us get a very nice little...

What is it a fucking Yorkie? We're so stupid. We thought it was a I thought it was a Cavapoo. I don't know what the fucking kind of dog is. It's like it's like one of those things where it's like a bread dog. It's it's a Cavalier and a poodle. I think it's hypoallergenic. I can't have dog. Oh, look at that. Come on. Oh, is that not phenomenal? Come on. Look at little bow. That used to be a wolf. That's how fucking creepy people are.

They turned a wolf into that thing. That little adorable, no shedding thing. Look at that little face. Aww. He's very cute, but that's what we thought we were getting. I didn't know, because a Yorkie looks a lot like that when it's...

I mean, it was like this big when we took it home. But yeah, I love it. My dog photographs like shit, though. I never put up pictures of my dog. He's a sweetheart, but he looks like a fucking wig and a hamper. It just sucks. I can't humiliate an ugly fucking dog I have in pictures. But in person, he's great. But I never post pictures. It's not cute. Put a filter on him.

Nothing's going to help. He's just kind of sitting there. He looks like he's fucking homeless, like some homeless guy's dog. But I do, I love having him, but the shitting in the house is very difficult. Aw. Yeah, I think that's when I first got him. Aw.

You see, he looks a little like a Cavapoo. That's adorable, dog. Then he was. But as he's gotten older and his hair's gotten longer. He's gotten shitty looking? In person, no. But he photographs fucking terribly. Let me see a picture. Let me see a bad picture of your dog. Let me see if I have. On my Instagram, I think I put up a video recently and the screen grab, I tried to find the cutest screen grab and I just couldn't. So let me see here. Maybe it's just you.

Maybe if I saw him, I'd think he's adorable. I can guarantee you're going to go like, he might be great in person. But I would never classify this as a cute dog. Hold on.

It's not opening because of, but I'll find it. Oh, there's no cell phone signal in here. Is that on purpose? No, it's just the walls are thick. Do you guys have Wi-Fi or no? Yeah, I can't find it. Forget it. It's okay. I get it. Oh, wait. Is that it? That's actually not that bad. Oh, that's cute. Come on. That's actually a very nice one. Look at the little blue bow. Yeah, somebody in the house really mowed him up. That wasn't my fucking... That's a cute little dog.

Yeah, that's a nice picture, but typically photographs very poorly. But he won't stop shitting in the house. Oh, no. I can't... Well, you live in an apartment? We live in an apartment. That's part of the problem. We put him on the terrace, and she'll go out there with him, and she walks him. I won't walk him. It's like, it's your dog. I don't want to fucking... You know what I mean? Like, I'm not... Again, I don't have that instinct. I'm happy you have him and you love him, but...

He just won't stop shitting in the house. I don't know what to do. I'm getting to a point where I'm like, this is why I didn't want a fucking dog. Yeah. I can't handle dog shit in my house. It's kind of gross. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty gross. I heard that, I'm debating, do I pay for a trainer? Do I pay for someone to come in and just... They might not be able to. It might be one of them broken little fucking tiny dogs. You just can't stop shitting in your house. I don't know, though. I've never had one of those kind of dogs.

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the number one hiring site based on G2. Try Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Zip Intro. Post jobs today. Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow. In New York, it helps. First of all, I'm not qualified to own a big one. I don't know how people own Mastiffs. In New York City, that's crazy. You can't. And you can't get insurance for them.

that's what made me like if you have a doberman or a rottweiler or pit you can't get insurance homeowners insurance so if somebody gets bit you're fucked and that's what scared me about those dogs german shepherd yeah especially german shepherds well also like those dogs need a lot of exercise they need a lot of activity or they get anxious yeah they get kind of crazy because they're not supposed to be penned in like that they're working dogs they're supposed to be out there running around and

And if you don't run them, if you don't exercise them every day, they get like people do when they don't exercise every day. They get kooky. Yeah. I became a little obsessed with those Caucasian shepherds. Oh, yeah. Like I want to pet one of those things or those. That's a big giant fucking thing.

It comes up, it goes up like 200 pounds. Yeah, it's fucking hairy. It's a disaster. Yeah, it's a werewolf. It's a monster. Yeah. But something like that I would love to spend a moment with or go someplace and play with it. But I just, you know, yeah. Look at that thing. Jeez. Slobbering over your fucking sofa. 220 pounds. Yeah. Jeez. Shitting. Well, they use those things to keep wolves away from sheep. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And Russian prisons, I think. I've seen footage of Russian prisons, like, where they have them around the perimeter. There's a fence in between, like, freedom and the jail, and they kind of keep them in there. I wonder what their temperament is like. They're aggressive. That's what I've heard. They're very aggressive. Are they bad with people? Strong, powerful, alert, quick, dominant, calm. What? Yeah. Somebody just threw adjectives up there. How'd they throw calm in there? Steady, strong, independent, faithful, self-assured, calm. That's weird.

You ever see those, what are they called? Dogo? They look like giant pit bulls. They're gorgeous dogs. But again, they're- Hyper aggressive. They are aggressive, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Great guard dogs, hyper aggressive. They will fuck you up. I think those were the dogs that Ving Rhames had when someone, he killed someone working at his house.

Yeah. When he was Ving Rhames or before? Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was Ving Rhames. I think something happened and someone, maybe they were there where they're not supposed to be there or something happened. And someone, I think it was someone working for him, got killed by his dog. Was he, is it him or Charles Dutton who did time in jail for murder?

I think it was murder. I don't want to get sued. But I think it was Charles Dutton or him that actually, before they were actors, went to jail. I just don't remember if it was Ving Rhames or Charles Dutton. I don't know. I don't know. He was one of those guys that had like a really interesting backstory. I'm wondering if that happened. Let's go find out with Ving Rhames' dog first. Then we'll Google, did Charles Dutton murder somebody? I think it might have been Dutton. I think you're right.

This is the funny thing to Google. The coroner said that he did not die from, in the Ving Rhames case, he did not die from dog bites. They were waiting for a toxicology report. Maybe he had a stroke and then the dog bit him. Sometimes that happens. If someone has a seizure, dogs will bite them. Dogs don't know what the fuck is going on. They freak out and they bite them.

When animals attack humans or other animals, victims usually end up with bites around the head and neck. He had none. This leads us to believe he went down for some other medical reason. Oh, that makes sense. So the bites were around his arms and his legs.

So, yeah, the dog might have bull mastiffs. English bulldog and three bull mastiffs. 200 pounds. Jeez, 200 pounds. You wonder if they were trying to wake him up or trying to pull him somewhere or if they were attacking. Because you're right, if they don't bite the face, what's the purpose of what would they do? Yeah, I bet it wasn't. I bet that's what it was. Sometimes that does happen when dogs will freak out if someone has a seizure. Right. They don't know what the hell's going on. They, like, bite the person. Yeah, like, what's he doing? They're freaking out. Arr!

Or probably not even bite him to try to hurt him, just to try to stop whatever's happening. It was freaking him out. Well, there was speculation after Siegfried and Roy, when Roy got dragged off. I don't know what's true or not. Did the thing bite his head or was it actually trying to save him? Take him away, yeah. Yeah, there was like a lady that had a crazy hat or something like that. And the tiger was kind of weirded out by this lady's hat.

Is that what it was? So I remember, but I just remember thinking, duh, like the tiger just did what tigers do. Yeah. Just decided I don't like this anymore. Are they both dead? I'm just going to bite you. I don't know. I know Roy Horn died, I think. I just saw they're making a Netflix series about, or Apple TV series about him. Eight episode series. Andrew Garfield and someone else are playing. Did you ever see the HBO thing on Liberace? Yeah.

Is that where Tom Papa was in it? Well, it was Matt Damon and

What the fuck is his name? Who played Scott Thorson? The guy, Greed is Good. You know, that guy. Michael Douglas? Michael Douglas, yeah. Michael Douglas played Liberace. I believe, right? Didn't he? Did he? Yeah. I didn't remember that. Yeah, it was Michael Douglas and Matt Damon. Oh, he played Scott Thorson and Matt Damon. Yes. He played the guy who got plastic surgery to look like Liberace. He's a classic. What a psycho. Yeah. I interviewed him. He had his boyfriend get plastic surgery to look like him. I don't want to fuck me. I know.

No, that's the last person I would want to look like. I go to a surgeon and say anything but this. Isn't that such a psychotic thing to want to fuck you? Oh my God, that's so crazy. I want you to look like me. Get your chin done and look like me. Is that a power thing or is it a fucking... It's a very bizarre...

Yeah. Pure narcissism or just crazy? Yeah, all the above. Power, for sure. Power over that guy, right? He probably had the ultimate power in that relationship. Yeah. Because he's Liberace. He's this enormous superstar, and this guy's his bitch. You know, like, I want you to get a different chin. You're going to look like me. He got a crazy chin. Yeah, he did. He looks very silly. It was a fun fucking film, though. Yeah. Tom Papa had a part in this. Rob Lowe! Wow. Wow.

Joey Diaz used to have a great bit about it. About the movie? About the HBO thing. Yeah, I mean, Liberace was a fucking weird case, right? Because he had to pretend that he was straight forever. Yeah. And it's so obvious. Today, he wouldn't have to. No. He could just be Liberace. But back then, he had... Do you ever see the song? There he is. Look at that. Super straight. Look at the rings. Yeah.

Do you ever see the song When Liberace Winks at Me?

No. So this is a song that played on television in like the 1950s when, you know, the world was innocent. Yes. And there's a woman who was like swooning when Liberace would wink at her. And so they played this. So it's Liberace playing the piano and like looking at the girl and winking. And they made like a twinkle in his eye. Let's play it because it's so bad. Here it is. Here it is. Put the headphones on. You got to see this. Yeah.

What is it, 53? Is that what it said? 55. So she's watching him on TV and she sings. Watch this. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Wow. First of all, he looks like Jim Florentine. It really creeps me out. How many winks do you hear in the piano key? A little tinkle. Clink, clink. That's so weird.

What a weird time it was back then. Dude, there's a video of him too on Instagram where it was in the 60s when he was trying to get with the... He was trying to be with the movement man. Be cool, man. And it was something groovy and it's just him on a piano with all of these 20-year-olds just trying so hard to get the kids. Oh, really? It's in the 60s? I think it's in the... It looks like it's 1967. Is that it? Oh, boy.

Groovy. Look at these guys, their pants. God, look at their pants. The piano's got flowers on it. God, people really lost their fucking minds in the 60s, didn't they? Yeah. This is very drug-inspired. Imagine putting those pants on.

Where's Liberace? He does come out. I'm not sure where he does. Oh, there he is. At least he's dressed for the occasion. Look at him. He's got the thumbs up. Look at his fucking vest. Look at his fucking vest.

Look at him! God, that's so weird. Liberace's turning on. Isn't that great? Oh, God, that's so weird.

And, like, the piano's moving. And he had to hold two girls. Like, yeah, he's here to get some puss. He's turning on. Yeah. This is, like, the acid days. But it's so crazy that, like, this was actually probably not meant to be shitty and ironic, but it was meant to be like, yeah, he's this cool guy getting with the scene. He's getting with the scene, man.

And he's out there with his piano and all these weird people with flowers on their pants. And the dance routine is just not the straightest. Look at him go with the vest. The vest is hilarious. Yeah, it's like plastic. Yeah, it's like this fucking raincoat that they turn into a vest. A long, like, orange, almost like Shakespeare sleeve type of shirt. So strange. God.

People were so weird, but you got to think like in the 1960s television had only been around for like 20 years Yeah, that's what's weird. This was really weird if you really stop and think about it was so new No, it's kind of like the Internet right like the Internet was the Internet is older today than Television was then yeah, yeah, you're right. It's years old though. Yeah, I

Yeah, the internet basically came around. I got on the internet for the first time in 94. I got on America Online. You've got mail. Yes. And I remember, this is crazy. I couldn't believe it. It hooked up to my phone. It was a 14-4 connection. Like, boom, beep, boom.

Yeah, 14K. Slow as shit. And then I got 56K. I thought I was a boss. Like, look at me, 56K. You know? And I remember thinking, this is crazy. Like, this never existed before. So that was 30 years ago, 31 years ago. This was just 20 years after TV, really. Like, when did TV really start happening? I want to say in the 50s. Yeah, I don't think it was in the 1940s. I mean, it was in the 50s. What was the first television...

Hitler broadcasted I was out of but that must have been in the 40s though There was because in the movie contact where they show you that Hitler broadcast Which would they say was like one of the first he broadcasted on the radio or I do I mission? No, it was the TV I know they used to do a lot of World War two stuff in the movie theaters You'd go to the movie theater and you get the news the Allied front and they show you the news They show you like propaganda footage of the news our troops are out there

Fighting for your freedom. Yes, and the Japanese, they show you. And the brave American troops smile, yeah. Yeah, and then they'd have those propaganda movies. 1953, 50% of American households had a TV set. By the end of 1960, almost 9 out of 10 did.

Wow. So what was the first television? When did it first? Oh, they started in the 20s. Oh, really? They were expensive as shit and probably very big, and there wasn't anything to watch, so why would you have one? Oh. When was the first broadcast, the first television broadcast? Yeah, up until the 50s, it was really just like public information, it says. Oh, so just like the news? I mean, there wasn't a lot of shows being made. Like what was the first television show? Yes.

Before Cavalry Gleason did cavalcade. I think it's called cavalcade is like with the honeymooners debuted He would do Reginald Van Gleason, but I don't that's definitely at the first one I love Lucy was probably same time or before that right and what year was that had to be the 50s three maybe 55 or might have been later I don't know so probably the television really became like when did it become a thing where people would watch the news and

Probably like late 40s maybe? Yeah, because 63, again, the Cronkite broadcast. I mean, so by then it was like in full effect. So you got to think that 63 with Liberace or the 55 one with Liberace, that's so new. Yeah. That's crazy new. And then 12 years later, when he's fucking dancing with the flower pants on. Here's the Wikipedia version.

First national color broadcast, the 1954 Tournament of the Rose Parade. The U.S. occurred January 1st, 1954. So the 1936 Summer Olympics. Oh, they had the Summer Olympics they broadcast. World Series, it says, was the first catalyst-like big...

Big buying. Wow, you must have been a boss if you had a fucking television in 1936. Yeah. And then first variety show was Milton Berle's show. So he became known as Mr. Television. What year was that? 48? 47, 48. Wow. He took his radio show and made it a TV show.

So by the time that Liberace dancing with the pants on, it's only 20 years old. Yeah. Which is really wild. Was that 68? I'm going to assume... It was definitely late 60s. Red Skelton television hours. And the fact that people just didn't know he's a flaming homosexual. How did you not know? How did you not... I guess...

There wasn't enough gay people publicly, so everyone didn't recognize... People knew when you spoke a certain way that you could be, but it wasn't... I guess that wasn't the...

the voice that everybody recognized. Everybody hid it too. You know, you had to hide it. You imagine being a gay guy trying to find other gay guys back then. Like, what did you do? What a risk. Oh yeah. It's like being gay in North Korea. Like how do those guys fucking, what signal do you give when you know the other guy's not working for the state? Right. You're in a rest area. Even if he is, he might throw you under the bus anyway. Like they have a whole culture on throwing people under the bus. On tattling. Yeah. Their whole culture is based on tattling. And if you don't tattle on people, they, they assumed you did something wrong.

I'd still like to kind of go there. I wouldn't do it. Really? I would, yeah, just because they say there's all those fake storefronts and all of those, or stores that are just for the tourists that come through, that they have all those fake stores that people- Do they get a lot of tourism? Oh, yeah. I mean, they get enough, like through China. These companies will go through China, and every country doesn't have the negative relationship that we do with them.

So I would kind of like to go, but I wouldn't trust it after that Otto Warminger. What was his name? Warren Warminger? Yeah, the kid that got beat up. Sorry, Otto, for taking a propaganda poster. Yeah. It would be very scary to go, but I really kind of want to. They have that giant building. It's like a thousand foot tall hotel or building that is just kind of half empty, like it never was finished. They light it up at night, so it looks like they have a big downtown. Oh.

But North Korea has like a thousand-foot-tall building. There's a YouTube video of a guy that went. His name's Mike. Mike OK. He went three or four months ago after they had not been open since COVID. Really? Yeah. And he went just to tour around North Korea? He's a British person, so he's not from America. Yeah. And you're not supposed to film a lot of this stuff. These guys take really, really clandestine footage. You're allowed to film in certain areas, but I think your phone you had to leave at the border when you come in. Why?

Yeah, he explains what he was doing. I think he says he wasn't supposed to, but he just did. Is he eating food there? Yeah, he goes to a few little towns, talks to them. I remember watching some of this. Wow. It's like a random Coke or something somewhere, or a Red Bull, I think. That's so fucking risky. It is risky. Because just the wrong thing you do, you insult them, and next thing you know, you're in jail for the rest of your life, or you're beaten to death. Yeah, they said that if there's a picture of Kim Jong-un or Kim Jong-il, you have to be respectful and you stand in front of the pictures to take your photo. They're really...

And they just rat on each other. Well, Shane Smith went. Shane from Vice. Yes. Back in the day, like before things got too crazy over there. And he said that they set up a fake restaurant for him. Like they pretended that they had restaurants and so they had a fake restaurant. And he went there and there was like only him there and people were serving him. Bizarre. Yeah, he said it was really weird. I guess when you're seen as a god and everybody just coaxes

Co signs it you don't know how bad of a liar you are like you don't know how badly you're presenting because everybody is just oh my god like Right, so they'd have no idea Kim Jong-un There's no idea that people look at him and go like that's not real right because then the people that are there they have no internet like

Like their world is the North Korean internet. They're not connected to the rest of the world. No, they would... I guess people will like sneak in thumb drives and stuff like that. I know, South Korean TV. They catch you. They catch you, you're fucking... But you know Saad Masseni? He's from Afghanistan and he ran... I think it was called the Mobi Group in Afghanistan. But they would go next to the Iranian border and pipe in...

Like American TV shows and they would illegally send them over the border to try to get people like a little bit westernized or to at least see things a little bit differently. But it's an illegal feed. You're just shooting it over somehow and, you know, hoping they don't kill you. Hoping they don't kill you. Yeah. Speaking of kill you. What's that? Said speaking of kill you in Iran.

Oh, what's going on there? Oh my God. Oh my God. But no one's surprised. You know what I mean? I bet the guys who got killed were surprised. They were supposed to meet with Trump to have a peace negotiation. Wasn't the time up? No. I thought the time lapsed. No. Did the Israelis jump the gun on the time? Well.

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Did where they killed like asked rock where they killed because they were negotiating for peace You know that the Israelis wanted they didn't want a negotiation Oh because they wanted to get those nuclear sites out there They they didn't trust the Iranians and they wanted to make sure that these guys were gone. Yeah, they essentially killed everybody that he was negotiating with so this guy's response above it is

It says, what evidence might there be to support this position? And the position was, go above that? Yeah. Israel did not attack Iran because Iran was about to attack Israel. Israel attacked Iran because there was about to be peace. And then this guy asked Grok, what evidence might there be to support this position? And then Grok says, evidence suggesting...

Israel's June 13, 2025 attack in Iran aimed to disrupt U.S.-Iran peace talks includes its timing coinciding with the sixth round of nuclear negotiations scheduled around June 12 through 14, 2025. International reactions like the U.N. and the Oman condemning the strikes as undermining diplomacy,

support this view. However, Israel justified the attack as a preemptive strike against Iran's nuclear program, citing its noncompliance with the IAEA. No direct evidence proves intent to stop peace, and the focus on nuclear sites suggests security concerns drove the action. The issue remains debated, with perspectives varying by geopolitical stance. Now ask Grok. Grok is kind of Twitter's AI. Right. How influenced is it

By like a chat GPT I've gone to and I was kind of curious because my wife's obsessed with it So I was like, I think this is probably still ideologically influenced for sure So other people have done this but I put in write five jokes about Jesus and it did five Jesus jokes and then I put in write five jokes about Muhammad and

And it came back with, well, we like to keep things respectful and blah, blah. And I did the same thing with write five jokes about white people and then write five jokes about black people. And it did the same thing. It wrote the white person jokes, but the black people jokes it wouldn't write. So I was like, oh, okay, this is still somehow tied in. There's guardrails. There's guardrails and it's ideologically slanted. It may not always be that way.

So I'm wondering if Grok is the same way. Is any answer it gives you almost like coming from either somebody at PBS or somebody from someplace else? Grok is probably the best of them for that, but the worst was Gemini. Remember when they asked Gemini to make photographs of Nazi soldiers and they had a diverse group of Nazi soldiers, including Asian women, Native American women, black people. Keep it fair, folks. Keep it fair.

They just got locked up in this woke ideology thing to the point where the the images they created of Nazis were woke I don't know what happened where people become so afraid of like I know truth can be unpleasant sometimes but like we're Where it goes to that level like we will write jokes about Jesus, but not about Muhammad like Who's programming that and thinks that's a good thing? Well, they're scared. They are that's what it is I'd almost respect them if they said they were scared like if they could look I

We all understand what goes on. We don't want somebody running in with a bomb belt. Like, you know, there's violent retribution. I would respect that, but they won't say that. No. They act like you're crazy for questioning. Yeah. That's not true. Yeah, it's weird. We're in a weird stage. We're in a weird stage. We have all the information, but it's still got guardrails on it. I feel better about myself, though, the older I get. The more like...

Yeah, I years ago said it and knew it was getting worse and worse. And like I was never stupid enough to think it didn't exist. So I kind of like, yeah, well, if nothing else, it validates what I kind of thought. You know, I mean, like I feel like I wasn't a fucking idiot. I'm not taken off guard by it. You knew it was coming. Yeah, not necessarily to this level. But, you know, when you saw this happening and then that happening and the little weird things like Donald Sterling, that one always bothered me. His private life.

being used against him. Which one was that? He was the owner of the Golden State Warriors. I don't remember. Oh, this was the guy that had the girlfriend. Vistaviano. Yeah. The Clippers. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. The Clippers, yes. He was the guy who had the girlfriend who was his little side piece. Vistaviano, yeah. And the girlfriend recorded him saying a bunch of things about black people. And it was almost like he was like, ah, black.

It wasn't like I don't think he was a hateful guy, but he was just like an old guy like you know I mean don't hang out with blacks. Well he was saying don't do it publicly right? Yeah, I guess it embarrasses me. Yeah, something like that. His friends are probably calling him Yeah, but he was you know he's talking to his side piece and she's recording him the whole thing was gross The invasion of even if he's a piece of shit. I don't care about him, but exactly it's the idea that people are comfortable

Like, nobody sticks up for privacy. Like, everyone complains about, we don't want the government. And it's like, hey, motherfuckers, where were you when this guy or stupid Hunter Biden's big dick is all over the internet? Where were you complaining about it? You just judged him on it. So...

I wish people would stop doing that. Yeah. The Hunter Biden stuff, the fun stuff was like him smoking crack and hookers and doing foot jobs. It was just fun. Did he do foot jobs? Yeah, he did a lot of stuff. There's a lot of wild stuff going on in there. He's a wild boy. Respect. But I guess, you know, you're smoking crack. Sure. You know. You got a tub unshaven. You got no guardrails. You're off the fucking reservation. He's a naughty boy.

But then the other stuff that was in there was really interesting. Yes. The emails, about 10% to the big guy and all that stuff. And there's this brutal, rampant, obvious corruption.

that they just look the other way because it's a Democrat. And it's just really strange. If Trump Jr. did anything that Hunter did, they would kill him. Like, it would be at the front page. It's all they would talk about. They certainly wouldn't have hit it from Twitter. They wouldn't have. Which was really crazy. It was a New York Post story, and then the FBI got involved. And the Twitter files, like, you know, when Schellenberger and Taibbi and all those guys went over the Twitter files and...

It's so damning. It's so crazy that that's not so illegal that there's like massive trials on television and people are prosecuted for it. Yeah.

I guess with private companies or... Even though the media operates like... But it's the government. The government is what I'm concerned with because it's absolutely election interference. 100%. 100%. Because there's a lot of people that were on the fence. You know, they didn't know whether they're going to vote for Trump or whether they're going to vote for Biden. They didn't know what they're going to do. And then they saw that and they were like, fuck this. And guys like Jack from Twitter have come out and said like, yeah, we shouldn't have...

Censored that story. Yeah, but it's like too late now. It's like you did it people were telling you when you did it You shouldn't do it Zuckerberg talked about it on this podcast. He talked about the FBI getting involved on the podcast Censoring kovat information censoring a laptop information that this weird feeling that he got from the government all of a sudden telling them what they and some of the stuff that they were telling them they had to take down was actually true factual information and

And they were like, oh, boy. And so they diminished its reach, and they did a lot of weird shit. And the penalty for not taking it down would have been... Were they threatening them with, like...

Section 230 is a big one that all the big companies are scared of like if they change that Because they said that I think the internet freedom comes from section 230 where a company can't be held legally liable for what's posted on their site Which is how like you can post anything about people and the sites themselves can't get sued because they're like, yeah We're just like a phone company. It's a public square the public square Although it's not anymore. It's much more ideologically based and it's much more of a publisher in my opinion than a public square

But maybe they threaten you with that or maybe that's where they start to go. Like we'll see to it that 230. I mean, I'm guessing. But what else could they threaten them with? Yeah, it's a good question. I mean, just the fear of being on the wrong side of the government.

I mean, that's the thing, because then they could go after you. Like, you know, for someone like Zuckerberg, who had already sat in front of those congressional hearings and, you know, they had already asked him about a bunch of different things that the company had done. And you remember those weird those weird things.

hearings that he had to sit through where he'd sip water very strange and people said he's a fucking robot. He's probably so nervous. Of course he is. Yes, Senator. No, Senator. Thank you for asking, Senator. Like all those weird moments. Like you got to be terrified of those people because they could change laws or they could just decide to prosecute you for thinking. I mean, look what's happening to the guy Durov from Telegram. I don't know that story. You don't know that story? No. He is essentially...

He's under house arrest in France. He has not been tried with anything. He has not been charged with anything. But what they're saying is essentially they want a backdoor to Telegram. Telegram is an encrypted app. Right. And a lot of people use it for illegal things, just like a lot of people use Twitter for illegal things.

A lot of people use DMs for illegal things. I'm sure they use Signal for illegal things and WhatsApp for illegal things. Telegram was especially popular amongst criminals.

And they wanted to be able to get in there. But then the question is, like, well, what do you determine as a criminal? Is it a political dissident? Like, is it, you know, what does it mean? Are you looking for underage people being photographed? Right. Or are you looking at just people who, like, they can always expand what they consider to be illegal. Oh, yeah. I mean, they took Backpage down, so they can get...

Like, if you don't do what they want you to do, there is a way for them to get you by saying you're too complicit in certain activities. That's the Silk Road. That's what happened with that guy. Ross Albrecht, yeah. Yeah, and now he's luckily...

Trump freedom. Did he pardon him? Yes. Oh, he did. Trump pardoned him. Yeah. Yeah, we tried to get him on, but he's just not ready to talk, which is totally understandable. Yeah. Like I said, if you ever do, if you want to talk, I'd be happy to hear your story. Well, because you're probably afraid that they're going to come with something else. Like, it's almost like- You don't want to put it in their face. You don't want- Like, now I'm out. Fuck those people. What they did to me was wrong. Oh, new charges. That's right. Yeah.

That's why whenever somebody's exonerated after 30 years of being in jail, they're like, I'm not even angry. I just want, cause you're afraid you're going to say the wrong thing. And then you go, all right, we're going to come back. Well, that was the really scary thing about the Trump stuff. Like when they were trying to get him for 34 felony counts, none of those were a felony. All of them were past the statute of limitations. It was just bookkeeping errors or bookkeeping. You know, they, they wrote down the wrong things and they tried to hide the fact that he was making hush money payments.

But the reality of that legal system being used against you, lawfare being, you know, they target you. Like the real estate one when they tried to say that he overvalued Mar-a-Lago and it was really only worth 18 million. And so they charged him like hundreds of millions of dollars, which is fucking insane. Yeah.

Because Mar-a-Lago is an enormous piece of property that is on the most expensive place in the country. Like that area, he's got, I think he's got, is it more than 20 acres there? I mean, it's a huge piece of property there. And the next door neighbor had a place that was like five acres and it sold for $50 million. Just the property. Yeah.

So they fucked him. They fucked him. And it's obvious that they were fucking him. They were doing it because they were trying to make him a felon when he was running for president. Yeah, Letitia James went after him really badly in New York. It turns out she had done some shit. Oh, a little bank stuff going on. She did some fucking... A little mortgage questions. Yeah, she did some inappropriate things. But whether people like him or not, I don't always agree with him at all.

But he's an amazing person. Like, to have withstood that, the pressure of that. Again, just as a, to continue with the pressure that they were putting on him and the way they were coming after him and to still run again. I mean, it's the fucking craziest thing you're ever going to see in your life. And they shot him. And they shot him and the guy was going to do it again. Or try to. And another guy. And a fucking, oh yeah, the guy with the hole in the fence where his golf course was. Yeah.

It's kooky. But it's like, and somebody pointed out to me, it's like, I mean, I'm surprised he doesn't expect this. It's like he went after them. Like he, he went after the CIA and the FBI and it's like, they're going to make it their life's work to come after you now. It's also crazy when it gets real trim transparent like that though. Yeah.

You know, but when someone like Zuckerberg or any of these other people that run afoul of the federal government or the intelligence agencies, when they see stuff like that, I understand why they comply. Yeah. They're probably fucking terrified. It is a little or very scary when you're on their, like you never want them to dig in and be focused on you. Oh, yeah. The eye of Sauron. Yeah. Yeah. We're coming for you. Because, again, they don't pay legal fees. They can do it all day. They can do it through the next administration. Yeah.

Because Letitia Jay, she went after, what I didn't like about her was a lot. But I didn't like the fact that they went after Cuomo for his book money. Like, they went after Andrew Cuomo for his book money, I think. They wanted him to get back five. Yeah. For what reason? I don't know what her reasoning was. I mean, obviously, she just wanted to stick it to him and fuck him. But I think it was that he, it was seen as some form of a government payment or anything.

I don't remember the technicality, but I remember being very annoyed that she was trying to go after, I think it was a $5 million advance. Lawfare is fucking terrifying. It's terrifying when they do that to people when everybody could see it. Yes. That's the real problem with the Trump one. And my problem wasn't, my real problem was like, don't these people understand? Doesn't the general public with their lack of outrage because, you know, he's on the right and they're on the left.

Don't those people understand that now they've set a precedent and then they could use that on you now or anybody else? And if a Republican president gets in like there's in now-

It could be easily used on his opponents because they've set a precedent. That's scary shit, man. It's really scary. And nobody's... Again, it's like with Donald Sterling and privacy. Nobody sticks up for each other on principle. And the conservatives don't do it. They've got the free speech thing in their corner now much more than progressives do. But it's like, I don't hear them sticking up for progressives who are annoying. It's like...

You have to stick up for people you don't like and that you think are shit. It's not just, you're not a big free speech warrior if you only fucking raise a flag for people who agree with you.

And I find them falling into that trap and it's like, don't fall into that fucking trap. Stick up for progressives who suck and who are saying stupid things. Defend their right to say it without getting in trouble. Don't look at them getting fired as, well, good, good, taste your own medicine. Like, we get it. But then that's how they justify you getting fired. 100%. So it drives me crazy that people don't defend other people's right to privacy or right to say what they want. And everyone in the country thinks they're a free speech absolutist, but they're not. They're not.

Elon's as close as I've seen. He doesn't seem to be shutting anybody up, regardless of what they say on his platform. People are talking shit about him every day. I saw one person was alluding to bad things happening to him, wanting that. I wouldn't say encouraging it, but close to encouraging it. And I'm like, if he's leaving that up, nobody has any room to complain. If he leaves up horrible shit about himself, then... But he also left up the Kanye song.

The Hitler song? Oh, yes. Is that where he blew his cousin? Or is that a different one? That's a different one. Oh, wow. All the hits. Yeah. I mean, the song is Heil Hitler. He's singing Heil Hitler in a catchy song. It's like, wow. This is crazy. It is crazy. And I don't know Kanye West at all. I've never particularly loved him. I find a lot of it is just like he'll just say the most troll. Something tells me he's going to come back down to Earth one day and go, look, I was off my medication.

I didn't mean any of that shit that I said. I feel bad about it. I think he's going to stay off his medication. I think when he puts on his medication, he can't be creative. I think part of his thing, whatever his, the way his mind works. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's this mania. There's,

Yeah. I was going to say, I understand that in a way because I've always liked... You know, you go through your pressure or whatever. I'm like, do I want to go on something? But I've always been scared that it would fuck up my... Probably will. Creativity. Yeah, it probably will. I mean, I think...

I mean, I don't know what's going on in Kanye's mind or anybody's mind other than my own. But I would imagine that, I mean, a guy like Kanye who's so prolific. I mean, he's put out so many albums and he's a complete workaholic. And just has, like when you talk to him, like I had him on the podcast, and it's almost like when you're talking, he's upset.

Like he doesn't want, he wants to talk. He wants to just constantly talk. Yeah. Like his brain's like a tornado, just, it's all just going all these different thoughts. And, but that's also why he can make so many great songs. It's like, it's all just pouring out of them, but you know, it also gets out of hand.

Then you know you wind up in the situation where he's in now it also He's the only person he went into him and Trump were he was in Trump's office one time And he's the only person I've ever seen Trump just kind of sit there and go alright. Well whenever he's finished I'll jump in I've never seen anyone do that to Trump well Trump was happy that any celebrity yeah on his side because at that point he was Hitler you know yes a lot of people that were calling him Hitler and to have a guy like Kanye West who is such a contrarian also

There was the thing because Obama said he was a jackass. Yes. And so he was like, oh, really? Well, fuck you. That's right. It was about the Taylor Swift thing. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah. That guy's a jackass. It wasn't even that harsh of an incident. He said it privately, and I think somebody heard it or it was picked up on a mic. I don't think he said it to be public. Oh, really? I thought he said it privately, and then somebody got the audio or whatever. It was really the Taylor Swift thing? I believe it was, yeah. Oh, here it is. Here it is.

Yeah, it wasn't. That lady seems like a perfectly nice person. She's getting her award. What's he doing? Why would he do that? He's a jackass. No, no. All this stuff. Cut this out. Look. I'm assuming all this stuff. Where's the pool? Come on, guys. Cut the president some slack.

See, it wasn't even that. And he wanted that cut out. Yeah. That was private talk. Yeah. And it wasn't even said with real. Malice. Real rancor. Yeah, it was just like, he's a jackal. People laugh. Yeah. I guess that would annoy me if I was him. I mean. If I was him. Yeah. If it was me, I'd be like, yeah, he's right.

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Guess so yeah, I was being a jackass But at what point do you cuz you know everyone has a Joe Rogan opinion everyone weighs in on you It's crazy like I see on the Daily Mail all the time at what point are you able to go like I just don't give a fuck what I don't read any of it you don't care nope I don't read any of it. No, I guess does it bother you has it ever bothered you you can't do anything about it Why would it bother you? What are you gonna? Do you gonna change their mind?

You know, you can't. And a lot of it is disingenuous. A lot of it, they don't know you. They don't listen to what you say. You know, if they far right, whenever they say far right, far right podcast. Okay. Yeah. I've had comics say that, like, they just don't know. And I'm like, you don't really, you really never paid attention. I mean, he stuck up for gay marriage. He loves Bernie. Like, it's crazy when you hear. I was very jealous that you and I talked to Hinchcliffe about this when you interviewed Magnus Hinchcliffe.

Magnus Carlsen. Carlsen, yeah. There's very few people I really want to meet that I haven't met.

But he's somebody. Did you see him, like, bang the chessboard? That was, like, big news in chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he made a fumble. He fucked up. He was ahead of the game. He was winning, yeah. Made a blunder. And it was. But here's the genius of the people. Like, they actually call it, like, sport. And the people watching it knew he fucked up. Which means they're all geniuses. Right, right, right. Magnus blundered! Magnus blundered! They couldn't believe he had made that. I think it was a rook move. But he's somebody I would like to...

I don't know what I'd talk to him about. Oh, he's fascinating. Fascinating. Any high achiever or really high-level person like that, world champion in something that's insanely difficult, they're fascinating people. I feel that way about MMA fighters, any kind of pro athlete, anybody who's like Aaron Rodgers, like any high-level performer. Those are very, very unusual people. Do you give them slack? And I mean, just in your brain as a person, like...

If they're a little whatever, if they're rude, they're rude. But if somebody is a little quirky or weird, if you're that good at something, that might just be the price you pay. Oh, for sure. Like Bobby Fischer, I love. He's one of my favorite people ever, even though he completely went berserk. But I just I have such an affection for Bobby Fischer. And I'm like, well, it's just that he's such a genius that sometimes it just.

There's a price you pay. It gets away from you. 100%. I think it absolutely does and can. And I think that when you're dealing with a high-level performer in any discipline, whatever drives them to be that much better than anybody else probably makes them insane. I mean, I just don't think real true excellence comes without a price.

I don't think there's any way to get there without just not being balanced in a bunch of other areas of your life because you're focusing almost all of your attention on one very specific thing, whether it's moving chess pieces around or throwing a football, whatever the fuck it is. There's no way you can be balanced in every aspect of your life if you want to be balanced.

5% better than anybody who's ever done it. Yeah, and it is weird too, like, because to be better than everybody at something, it's, I mean, like, if you ever talk to somebody at a party, just when our life is doing stand-up, and they're talking about their job, and a lot of times I'm like, oh, shut the fuck, I don't care. Give a shit. I know. So to be that on such a level, better than everyone on earth at something, it's gotta be hard not to live in that place where you can't relate. Very few things are interesting enough

Very few things are moving. Right. Like Buzz Aldrin, he snapped at me when we interviewed him. He's a bit of a cranky guy. Let's not dilly-dally. I've got to get to CNN. Fuck you, Buzz. Is that what he said to you? Yes. I asked him a question, a good question about his book...

On Mars. I asked him about space travel and I said about what type of psychological testing would you maybe need to go on a three-year space trip. Yeah. Good question. Thank you, John. I felt it was too. Buzz did not. He fucking snapped at me. But again, like Regan had a bit about him walking on the moon and it's like when you've gone there...

It's almost like anything else. And I took it, by the way, because it was Buzz. I wasn't going to yell at him. It's fucking Buzz Aldrin. Whatever. I'm an annoying, blinking idiot asking a question that I think sounds smart. And he just shut me up.

But like how do you find other people interesting when you're that guy? Right. When you've done that, maybe my question was just banal and stupid. Well, there's a lot of people like that that are the best at whatever the fuck they do that they can't relate to anybody else other than other people that do their thing. And they're usually very competitive with those people. So they've alienated them from their friend group as well, which is really kind of crazy. Well, the worst is people who think they're that guy and who are just –

And they're mediocre? They're just average comics. Oh, that's the worst. The comics are the worst with that. Narcissist comics that believe they're better than everybody else when they're just mediocre is crazy. And then they just shit on all the other comics. It's like, do you ever watch your own act? Do you don't hate your act? That's crazy. And you think you're doing Shakespeare. Every comic, we all have a narcissistic quality. You need that to be in front of people. Look at me. That's a narcissistic quality.

But there's a difference between that and being like a legit narcissist. And the way comics are fucking very petty about guys, like they attack Matt Rife. I'm like, he's harmless. He's just out there doing his act in front of fucking 20,000 people. They hate him because he's successful. Yes. But if he was nobody, they wouldn't hate him. That's all it is, man. There's so many. You very rarely see these comics attacking someone who's not doing as well as them.

It's always a guy who is doing better, who they feel I'm entitled. Doesn't deserve it. Yeah. Yeah. My comedy is so much more cerebral, so much more interesting. Like, oh, is it really? That's one thing I'll say for myself. And I have a lot of faults, but I've always put the blame squarely where it belongs on me. Yes. I never think it's the world. Well, that's why everybody loves you. I mean, that's a very good quality to have.

You know, like maybe self-deprecating to a fault. Sure. Like you're a little bit self-deprecating to a fault. Like I don't know how many times I've had to tell you, no, Jim, you're fucking great. Stop.

You know, like you and I've had a lot of those conversations. Yeah. And I, but I don't do it for, I don't, it's better than me saying, Jim, you're not great. Yeah. Jim, you're okay. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Leave everybody else alone and look at yourself. But I don't, I don't do that because I want people to compliment me either. Like I, I've never out there going, gee guys, am I fat? But, but it's the guys who think like, I, I, I went and watched and I don't know Matt. I just, I went and watched some of his clips. I'm like,

I'm like, he's funny. He's just doing crowd work. Like, what's the problem? And he's good at it. He's good at it. It's the reason why the arena's full. First of all, he's very handsome. Good looking guy. Cute, adorable, lovable. Really nice guy in real life. I knew him before he was ever famous. I met him when he was 20 years old. He was coming around the store. He was a nice fucking guy. I've been friends with him for a long time. I don't understand that hate. But, you know, I was coming from a different position. You know, I was coming from a position where I was already famous and...

I wasn't looking to be more. I wasn't, you know, there's some people that like always feel like they haven't gotten enough. They haven't gotten enough credit, haven't gotten enough respect. You know, these other people are stealing from them. It's a famine mentality. It's a terrible mentality to carry around with you because you never heal from it. If you go through life with this famine mindset and everybody else is doing better than you, like you...

You have the worst attitude ever for getting good at things because you're always going to be focusing too much of your attention on other people Yes, you're really sabotaging yourself and what you believe it or not what they're getting what they're doing It's the feeling of entitlement like if I was

if I was bitter about every person that used to open for me that passed me, I mean, I'd be on a comedy club roof with an AR-15. I couldn't handle it. I mean, you have to learn to live with it and go like, yeah, you know what? I recognized people that were funny. Like, I like funny people and I was right about certain people. Like, they're really good comics. So yeah, it's that sense of entitlement that guys get that drives me fucking crazy.

But I see them attacking certain people doing well. And I'm like, they always did it to Carrot Top. Even though he's actually funny. He's a funny comic. It's a funny show. He's got a great brain. I've been to his show in Vegas. It's fucking great. And he's a really nice guy. Yeah, he's a great guy. He's not a mean guy. It doesn't deserve anyone's hate. He's a sweetheart. Yeah. You know, when I had him on the podcast, he was so happy and so thankful that someone wasn't shitting on him. And he said, dude, I got great crowds now. My crowds are packed. Yeah.

Like, it's a great show. If you're in Vegas, go check him out. Yeah. It's fun. And he's a really nice guy. And I watched him, like, on Kill Tony. There's a clip of him. And they're pulling out these things. And, like, gay mouse. It was a disco ball over a mousetrap. And it was so stupid. But it really is funny stuff. Just silly. Comedians think all props are bad or all...

And me and Colin talked about that one time, and he goes, why should the hacks own McDonald's? Meaning, if you have something that's original and funny to say about a subject, who cares if hacks have touched it? If your thought is original, fuck them. Exactly. And it's this weird thing where comics think they sound smarter if they go after certain things. Yeah, it's stupid. It's dumb. It's a dumb perspective. It should be, here's the world through my eyes, and everything is in the world. Traffic is in the world. If you have a traffic joke...

And it's actually legitimate. Like, maybe you have a perspective on traffic that I've never heard before. Maybe your airline travel bit will be the airline travel bit that I really love. Because, you know, that's the problem with comics, too, is that when you're on the road too much, your experiences are very limited. Because all you're doing is performing in front of people, hanging out in the green room, going to dinner, flying in an airplane, staying in a hotel. So how many comics have jokes about hotel rooms and...

You know, they knock on the door even when the do not disturb is on you're jerking off like how many guys have done those Joe? Yes, but it's just because you're you have a very limited experience to draw from I actually I started taking days off and

And my wife and I will go on vacation somewhere. Because it becomes where you're feeding on yourself. You're only doing A, B, C, D, A, B, C. And there's no life. And I'm like, what am I going to fucking talk about? We get it. You were at Newark Airport. It sucks. So I just wanted to do more life things. A, because it's fun to do. But B, it's like, I allowed myself to. Because I'm like, you can at least talk about it on stage. You can't just talk about...

Being a comic or you're right. I'm almost too much talking about myself. Like I want to start talking about other things I just feel like the only thing I'm really qualified to discuss in my own life but I kind of want to talk about other shit too cuz like Life is kind of stable now and it's I don't know what to do with that I don't know how to handle you know what I mean? Like not being out and being crazy and fucking riding around for four hours a night with a piss cup in my car I

That's what I did when ONA were kicked off the air. I would ride around and just fucking just ride around for four hours a night. I couldn't listen to any comedy. I couldn't because I was in such a fucking depression. I would put on Sports Radio 660, Joe Beningo overnight. I don't know. Do you know who he is? No. He was a guy on 660, 240 on the fan, and he was a Jet fan, and he was a fucking maniac.

But I would listen to him complain about the Jets or Art Bell. I fell in love with Art Bell. There he is right there. Ah, I didn't even notice that. Yeah, he's on the wall now. That's how I heard about Michio Kaku was from him. And I tell you, he lived in my building in New York, Michio Kaku. Yeah, he did though. So I would listen to Art Bell and I would listen to Joe Benigno and just look at hookers all night. And I'd piss in a cup and I would fucking ride around and it was just my...

My way of and go to bed wake up maybe eight hours later and go do tough crowd when I was on It was a real crazy fucking time. Yeah, I like when a got pulled that was that was an interesting Moment of censorship right like that homeless guy came on and said terrible things about Condoleezza Rice and the queen of it No, that's a different that we got fired was for sex for Sam. That was someone had sex in a Church yeah, yeah, you got points, right? That's right. That's right. Oh

But the company had signed off on the bit. Like, I got why they were mad, but they had signed off. It was a sponsored bit. The company knew what was going on. So, ONA could have survived that if the company didn't panic. Throw them under the bus. And it's so funny. Like, regular radio is what saved their career because when XM suspended the show for a month, we were on KROQ at that time. Right. And they kept us on for the month. Right.

So then eventually we came back to satellite a month later. But I think they would have fired us. I remember those days. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing radio now. It's the first time in 20 years. It's very strange. Wow.

To not have to be up. I get up at like nine now and just go to the gym, so I have some kind of schedule. But it's very weird after 20 years to be gone from that gig. Yeah, you've been on radio forever. It's been more than 20 years, hasn't it? Well, it was 20 on this run, and like... But when did the ONA start? ONA I did in like 2001, 2002. Okay. We got fired, came back on October of 04, and my contract expired in...

the end of December of 24. So it was about 22 years total. Every comic owes ONA a debt of gratitude. All of us do. Without them, I don't think there would be podcasts. I think that was the real podcast because that was the first time we realized...

Because ONA did the show with no structure. Whereas like I did Howard a bunch of times, but when you did Howard, you were a guest. They wanted stuff that you were going to talk about. They had questions for you. They had setups. They were ready. And then a couple of times I did Howard where you would write jokes for him. So you would sit there and there was an overhead projector. It was the Jackie chair when Jackie left. So they brought a bunch of us in and then already wound up doing it all the time. I couldn't do it. I was just like it was too early in the morning. I didn't want to live in New York.

But I did it a bunch of times. But it was structured, you know, and Howard was always in control of it. And he's actually running the keys. Yes. He's running the board, the soundboard. And, you know, it was a very structured show. And, you know, that's how we did it forever. I get it. But the way ONA did it was so different. There was no structure. You'd go in there and just sit and just have fun. Yeah. And it would be Patrice and you and me and fucking –

you know, everybody would come in. Voss and Bobby and all these different people would come in and burr and, you know, I mean, and it was some of the wildest moments ever, like the baby bird. I'll never see anything crazier than that in my life. Never. Never.

Yeah, yeah, he died recently huh Pat from monarchy. Yeah, I'm not had filled anything His name was rest in peace Pat from moon Aki that one thing that you did that one day was one of the most shocking things I've ever seen in my fucking life. Yeah, it was Ari was there with me Burr was there

And I remember it was my idea. I think it was, right? Because, you know, I was doing Fear Factor at the time. I was used to people doing horrible shit. And I was like, how about you lean your head over the garbage can and he throws up in your mouth? Yeah.

And fucking Pat Duffy, who was such a psycho, he was like, okay. He would do anything. He brushed his teeth with cat shit. I thought it was dog shit, but you might be right. But I'm going to say Pat Duffy was a fucking... Fucking psycho. He was like a Marine if interns had that. He was a seal. He was a seal. Fearless. Fearless. He was funny. He didn't give a fuck. He got it. He was great. He was great. He was the best radio employee of all time. He really was. And that moment was the...

Fucking craziest thing I've ever seen in my life I couldn't believe it was happening and the amount of vomit that was coming out of Pat's mouth When he was throwing it into Pat Duffy's face and Pat was lying there with his mouth open Yeah, letting I mean people at home listening to this you'll come on. There's cell phone footage of this. Yes. I'm like, oh

A 2002 cell. There it is. 2007, yeah. Was it 2007? Yeah. Because we're in K-Rock. That's the K-Rock studio right there. He just throws up in his mouth. His mouth is wide open. It was so disgusting. And it kept coming. Yeah. Because Pat drank like some fucking. 70 something things of eggnog. It was like two gallons of eggnog. It was fucking insane. And he had. Oh, there it goes. There it goes. And it would just keep coming. Like you're like, no, it's over. And if you hear us in the studio, we're all screaming. Oh.

And he just keeps throwing up. You think it's over? You think it's over? Nope. He's got more. And at the end, I mean, it's cartoonish. It's like that scene in Stand By Me with the blueberry eating contest. Yes. Or in Monty Python. And it keeps going. It keeps going. It doesn't end. He thinks it's over.

Oh, it was fucking absolutely, completely insane. Do you ever see the meaning of life, Monty Python? Yeah, sure. When a guy, a wafer-thin mint monsieur, and he starts vomiting, get me a bucket, I'm going to throw up. Oh, yeah. That's what he reminds me of, because he's not moving. He's standing there, and his mouth opens, and the vomit just shoots. Dude, usually you retch, and you move, but he just opened his mouth, and it was like a button got pushed, and it fucking shoots.

It's the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, and if it wasn't, there it is. It's just shooting. But that's not even as extreme. Look how fat that guy is. He was just great. Insane. A wafer-thin mint.

And, you know, that show, having that kind of a format, let us all realize how fun it is to just get comics together and just talk shit. Yeah. You know, and then when Anthony started doing live from the compound, when he did his own show, that was, and then, of course, Tom Green's show, because Tom Green had his own show in his living room. And I was a guest on that, too. And I was like, that really lit the light bulb in my head. Yeah. But when Anthony started doing his own show from his basement, I was like, why don't I do something like that?

And he had a professional setup. He had fucking beer kegs and he had beer on tap and he was doing karaoke with a machine gun. With a machine gun. I mean, just a psychopath singing, you light up my life with a fucking AR-15. But he was having a good time. And I remember the radio station was trying to get him to stop doing it.

XM or Sirius whoever it was was trying to get him to stop doing it. He was like, but why it's not radio right? If anything is getting more people to watch the radio show he would do it on weekends It didn't interfere with the show It was like he was just going fuck around and that was back when we were on Pal talk - remember Oh God Yeah, the video would be on Pal talk

Because most people would only be watching or listening on radio. Right. But then they would broadcast live on Pal Talk because it was like so unheard of. Like nobody was doing that. That was how the Anthony Weiner dick photo got out. Really? That was from Opie and Anthony. That was, we had Vincent D'Onofrio in studio and we had Andrew Breepart.

And cause I had met Breepart doing red eye on Fox. So they both came in and we were talking and the pal talk window was open. And apparently I didn't like Andrew had the picture of Anthony Wiener's dick. So he showed us in studio. We just looked at it on the phone. I didn't, but apparently Anthony held it up to the pal talk window and showed them and somebody grabbed it. And that was how that photo got out. Wow. Serious XM and sticky situation. Yeah.

I want an investigation from Sirius into what the hell happened there, Breitbart says after he shows an X-rated picture to shock jocks, Opie and Anthony, who then share it on Twitter without his permission. Oh, maybe one of the guys tweeted it too. Yeah. But Breitbart got mad at me, and he's like, I was friends with Jim Norton, and he told this to Elliot Spitzer on his show, and he goes, and he betrayed me. But I really didn't. It wasn't me. I was doing Tom Papa's fucking podcast. So he thought you did it. He thought I set him up, but I really didn't. But you didn't.

No. And I saw him years later in L.A. and I explained it to him and he was very cool. I was happy because right before he died. So I always liked him. I was happy that we at least I get to tell him that, dude, it wasn't me at all. Did they whack him?

Did they whack Andrew Brevard? Yeah. No, because they would have crashed the site. I mean, he was doing coke, right? Wasn't it an overdose or something? I think he had a heart attack. Oh, it was a heart attack. I thought it was. I'm just starting rumors. He was doing coke, right? I don't remember. I mean, maybe he was doing coke, but I think it was a heart attack. Oh, it might have been. I think there was a lot of suspicion that he might have got whacked. Really? Because, yeah, he was one of those guys that was, you know, exposing a lot of shit. Yeah, but they didn't crash the site. Did the site change after he was gone? They weren't wearing headphones.

God damn it. It's just so natural. You just put them on. No wonder I was enjoying myself so much. We did when Liberace winks at me. Liberace got you to wear headphones. He sure did. I just noticed that you were wearing them. Yeah, I didn't notice either. But when Liberace winks, you have to hear it in both ears.

Yeah, there was some speculation that he got whacked. But it wasn't anybody dies or speculation they got whacked. Yeah. I didn't know that. But I felt bad about that. Collapsed on the street near his home. Collapsed on the street near his home? Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Focal coronary arthrosclerosis. Died from congestive heart failure, which had been diagnosed the year before. Oh, so he had a heart attack. Okay.

Yeah. Well, I mean, when you're running a site like that, I mean, imagine the stress. It's constant. Yeah. And then, you know, you're also like your business is exposing people politically and opening up yourself to potential assassination. Well, who do you think put up the Opie and Anthony homeless Charlie audio? Oh, he did? It was Andrew Breitbart. It was before I knew him. But that's where it went up on Breitbart. And the headline was, will this crash...

Will this stop the merger between Sirius and XM? Wow. So that was why they reacted because they were afraid. I think people in regular radio wanted to stop that merger. Oh, 100%. So they- Radio was terrified of Sirius XM. They were terrified of it. So I think they pushed that story hoping that it would fucking tank the merger, which of course it did not. You remember those days when you first went over there? It was so crazy because we could talk like we would talk in the green room. Yeah.

We could swear, we'd call someone a cunt. You could say anything you want. It was crazy. They never, I'll tell you one thing about Sirius, even though I didn't like the way my time there ended, I wish that was handled a little bit better. But I guess everybody who leaves a gig wishes things were handled differently.

They never once fucked with me about content. I'll say that for them. They never came for me and goes, Hey man, we, that thing you talked about, could you not, could you back off even long into where everybody was getting canceled and in trouble. Serious never came and asked me not to say something.

Jim McClure who ran the channel never broke my balls about jokes we did or a stance we would take like They kind of let that go well They had a crazy situation where they you knew that one person was getting insane amounts of money Yes, Howard Stern and everybody else was getting very little was real weird. I

It was because it was very open that Howard was getting all that money, which obviously he was the reason why everybody went over there in the first place. Yeah. I get it. It was serious. And we were at XM and he was at Sirius and that was the giant get was Howard going over. Also, there's also the thing that if he leaves, the stock collapses.

Especially now. Yeah, you know, I mean if you don't have Howard Stern anymore, what do you got? What do you have that's not available for free? Yeah, I saw my serious doc So whatever happens I did I was happy it spiked up to like seven and I fucking dumped Were you allowed to sell while you were working there? Did you have to wait till you weren't working there? Nobody can nobody asked you stock you bought I bought it I bought it years before when I thought they're gonna go bankrupt. Um

we bought a little bit. But that's when I talked about the lawsuits when I was getting sued so I didn't buy as much because I was paying for fucking lawyers. But yeah, they tried to cut me like an unreasonable amount and so we were still negotiating and then they just go, oh yeah, we're not going to renew. They waited until Christmas break and they go, we're not going to renew. So I was like, all right.

I guess I get why they did that, but... But it's got to be weird when you're over there and you know that Stern is getting hundreds of millions of dollars. And everybody else is like, you know, they're just pinching pennies with people. I never minded that and really didn't care because...

I only cared about what I was getting. And when I saw what they gave certain podcasters that went over there, I'm like, okay, they do have the money. So if they're choosing not to give it to me, I have to just accept that. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I never knew what Opie and Anthony made. I still, to this day, don't know what their salary was. I never asked. That's great. Begrudge those guys. I never gave a fuck. Like,

You know, they were the brand. Opie, Anthony. It was like they took me in, so I never cared what they got. I never felt entitled to their money. And I never asked what they made. Even when me and Opie did a show, I never said, what's he making? Like, they gave me a raise, but I didn't... I don't look at money like that. Like, I have to know what you're making. Because it's like... Yeah. That's not my... That's good. That's a healthy way to look at it. Yeah. So whatever Howard made, I'm sure some of it was inflated, but like... Oh, he made a lot of fucking money. He did. He made a lot of fucking money. But again, if he's not there...

How are you selling it if he's not there? What do you what are you selling? That's not available for free everywhere. That's why I was like bummed about the way it happened I'm like we did a talk show maybe they were just like yeah We can put more money into the rest of the channel of Jim go whatever I'm glad I'm doing a podcast like I haven't noticed any change in my life Which is great cuz I'm on the road more making you know, I'm making money on the road but I

It's weird not having it. It's weird not knowing that it's there. Right, right, right. Yeah. It hasn't affected anything, but the knowledge that that income was going to be there is gone. So it's kind of a weird, naked feeling. Does it make you more motivated to do stuff, though? To get your own thing going on? I'm on the road more now. I'm doing extra road work. And the special was one of those things where...

Wanted to do one anyway, but it mo like I shot it in November and before we even came back from break I had my channel set up. I had already started doing episodes I was like fuck this. I'm not sitting and waiting. It's not gonna take me a year Yeah, I'm just gonna get up and if it takes me a year to get moving fine, but I'm gonna start now What is Sam doing these days? He's doing a show they gave him the show Oh, so he's still yeah, yeah, and they got rid of you. Yes. Whoa. Well

Well, I mean I kind of saw that coming I used to yeah, I mean I almost Today they had cut me the year before a little bit. But again, I'm not unreasonable. I'm not a fucking idiot people take cuts Oh, they cut your money. Yes by 10% But I'm like, you know what? It's still good money. My wife had just come to the States I'm like, I want to make sure I have money for lawyers with her and then I told my magic They're gonna cut me by this much guaranteed and they almost to the dollar offered me what I predicted and

So we pushed back and tried to negotiate and they were acting like they were negotiating. And then the day, the day of Christmas break, like when we were off the air for two weeks, I got the call like, yeah, we're not going to. So they were just kind of, I think, keeping it going until that. But I don't, I don't have any bad, I truly don't. Like they bought me two apartments. I had a great life there. I fucking, I broadcast it for 20 years. It's time to move on anyway. Yeah. And I was telling you a long time ago that you could be doing better on the internet anyway by your own.

I think you, I remember, I remember you talking to me, I mean, 2017 around there, even before then about podcast. I wasn't allowed to podcast because of my, uh, my contract. They wouldn't allow it. And I think that was one of the sticking points with this one. I was like, I have to be able to do my own podcast, especially if I'm taking a cut. Um, and I'll just eat shit for a while until it gets where I want it to go. Yeah. You have to be able to be your own boss in this day and age. It's just, it's not.

And also, as big as SiriusXM was, it's just not that anymore. It's just not what it used to be. If I didn't have a podcast during the Opie and Anthony days when it was in its height, if they offered me a show, I'd be like, whoa, okay. That would have made sense.

But now I'd be like, what am I – what? Unless I wanted to do kind of what Howard's done, just make a ton of money and kind of like slip away, which is really what I kind of tried to do with Spotify. I was hoping that Spotify was going to make me like 10% less famous. That was like the idea behind it. Yeah. I was like, give me money. Give me money. I don't want to be any more famous. I don't need that. I'm going to just give me the money. But if –

But nowadays, it's like there's just not enough people listening. And I know they own Pandora now too. So they made a bunch of deals with podcasters because I think they're going to try to get people to listen to Pandora and do it that way. Or Stitcher. I think they do too. Stitcher. Yeah. We used to be on Stitcher too. But that's the thing. It's like the internet is just too – there's so many more people that are listening. Yeah.

to all these other platforms, Spotify, YouTube. It's just too enormous. It's too big to ignore. It is, and it's like, I think that they kind of, they handled podcasting in a way that terrestrial radio handled satellite.

which was, ah, you know, it's not a big deal, and then get involved with it or somehow embrace it, but a little bit later in the game. A little too late. Yeah, but I mean, they have some big podcasts. I mean, like, again, I don't... They have Call Her Daddy now, right? They do. And when I realized the money they gave her...

Again, I don't begrudge her at all. Like whatever you make, you make. And it's got nothing to do with my salary. But I realize they do have the money. So if they're choosing not to, I have to just fucking accept that. But you got to wonder if that's a good idea for her. But she's still on Spotify, though. I don't know. Is she? I don't know. Isn't she? She is, right? Yeah. I think she's still everywhere else, too. Yeah. Which makes it a good idea.

The thing is, if they limit your distribution, that's what makes it a bad idea. One of the new things that we did with this new deal with Spotify, and they were actually into it, was put it everywhere.

You know not just be on Spotify, but also go back on YouTube back on Apple right everywhere Which was made me very happy like it should be everywhere. Yes You know you want people to just to stumble on it or to go I heard this thing about about this thing today I want to go look at it right now right they don't have to sign up for something and to the fucking email Exactly your credit card Yeah, it's kind of silly and some people just get accustomed to using certain platforms like for me forever all I listen to is Apple podcasts and

You know, the podcast app on Apple. It's simple. I'd like download whatever the fucking shows I wanted to listen to and I would get it that way. I don't want to have to change. I don't want to have to look around. You know, it's just one of those things. People get accustomed to getting things in a certain way. It's right. It's there. Yeah. Yeah.

It's great to see too. I don't know if Schultz, I'm sure he does get the credit, but Dane deserves a lot of credit because of the social media. Oh, yeah. And I think Dane, history has kind of forgotten about what, he did a lot to change the way we promote. 100%. And then Schultz, that fucking thing of just turn your phone this way now, holy shit, it revolutionized the way comedians put out

And it's like, I mean, well, what he did was do he, he capitalized on COVID in the best possible way. He came up with a different style. He's so smart. He thought of a different style of comp because there was a lot of people during COVID that were doing like late night talk show monologues, uh,

on the internet and they were terrible. Terrible. Because there was no audience. No audience. But what Schultz did was he made up for the fact there wasn't any audience with visuals and rapid fire punchlines. That's right. And he did it differently than he does his stand-up. Like his stand-up, he'll say something really funny and let it sit so it's even funnier. Like it builds, you know, and he'll look at you like, what?

You know, it'll hold the laugh. Yes. Whereas in this Netflix or in the, you know, it was on Netflix as well. But when he was doing the sideways thing, it was just rapid fire. And he's more than a this and a that and a that and a this. And the photograph of the thing and you'd watch it and you'd go, hilarious. Different than stand-up. Yes. And everybody was sharing it. It was a genius approach to a genre instead of trying to apply stand-up style techniques

comedy and monologues to, you know, your Instagram. He did a whole new thing. Yeah, and his stand-up is funny. He did something on jokes that only work in Hawaii. And it's in an arena, and he's fucking murdering the way you murder in a club. But it's like they're all new jokes just for Hawaii. And it was like, God damn, it's really funny. He does that everywhere he goes. I know. He did that in Abu Dhabi.

Or Dubai. Yeah, in Dubai. He had jokes only about Dubai, about shitting on hookers. It was like... Oh, that's so awesome. It's my life. LAUGHTER

But I was happy to see somebody doing something really creative as opposed to blinking their way through Chip Chipperson on a fucking TBS show. We do what we have to to survive. Don't shit on Chip. I love Chip. I love Chip too. I love the fact that that's your closet character. When you put the wig on and the glasses. You understand it's the bane of my existence. I can't do anything without being called a sock cucka and fucking peck a kisser.

In the live chat today, it's all Chip. Hey, when's Chip coming back? Chip is back. It's all people love and hate Chip. I love Chip. I love Chip. Yeah, it's such a fucking weird thing. It is. It really is. I might do it again. I miss doing it like when Anthony would come on, it was like the best. We did a few live, did three live shows with it, and it was fucking amazing. There were theater shows and the crowds were...

It's sold better than I do, which is absolutely humiliating. I sold tickets faster as Chip than Jim Norton. Jim Norton, there's still a giant curtain. Chip fucking sold out.

But I do miss doing it, but I don't miss getting guests like I fucking now I have one podcast I do I love doing it, but I still hate saying hey could you feel like I hate did you do it all yourself? Is that what you did we did it pretty much out to people with you. Yeah, I had a my co-host my for the coast I was using most reason was Zia and she was great and she would do like a lot of the behind the scenes work for me and she would you know,

help reach out to people and coordinate but I ultimately had to ask it was like one of those things if I wanted a comedian on one time Nick DiPaolo came on and he was sitting across and this was what Chip would give us all sailor hats and we're all wearing sailor hats and I remember I like how you call him Chip I have to I can't say me I can't face it

It's like Ted Bundy would talk about himself in the third person. Why? Because he's not proud of it. So we had on these sailor hats. I remember Nick was talking to me and we were having fun, but it was the way he was looking at Jim.

As he was talking, and he played along, but I was like, oh. I just had a Nick stare at me, and I knew he was seeing his friend Jim. With a wig on. And a wig and glasses. But I do miss...

It made me laugh to do it, but people would just be too annoying about, like, oh, get this guy, get that guy. They would complain. I made zero money doing it. And here's why. I didn't make a million on YouTube because I didn't realize that I shouldn't have had the word fuck in the theme song. Jamie Jaster from fucking Hatebreed sang the theme song, and it was, Chip has a fucking... But, like, literally, that automatically fucks you for monetization. Right. And I had no idea, so all of my episodes had fuck in the first...

Five seconds. I never made any money doing shit. A few hundred bucks on a read here and there.

But it was a labor of love. It was one of those things that you do. You could bring it back with a new theme song. I could, or I did change it at one point. I changed it. Yeah. I took fucking out. Change it. People love Chip. Put gosh darn. It was like some obvious- Oh, that's even better. Some awful edit that went in. But it's like, when am I going to do it? Where am I going to do it? Once mine gets up, like mine's been up for a few months. I love doing it. We do callers, which I like the live interactions. Like when you do radio, it's hard to not feel like anybody is listening in the moment. Right.

And it takes you in weird directions. Like people will call up with legit, everyone, like some comics like, ah, but then as soon as somebody goes, what do you think about this? And they're talking about wanting to commit suicide or they're talking about fucking, it becomes interesting because people like everyone wants to give advice. Right, right, right. Yeah. So I liked, I liked knowing that something alive will take you into a different direction than we would have gone in. Yeah. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. There's something to that. Yeah. There's definitely something to that. Yeah.

But there's also something, it becomes very chaotic because people are calling in just to fuck with you. I've surprisingly had very little of that. I mean, again, I'm always, with coming from ONA, nothing is too much at this point because you become so used to craziness and death threats. I still use a fake name at the cellar because...

Because I would get death threats like that there was a couple of them that actually concerned me because people were using their real names I mean if a guy is threatening to kill you with his real name attached to it like he's fucking he's a problem. What was it over? What there was one time Anthony had said something and the guy thought I said it And the guy said something about I'm gonna fucking kill you I don't remember what it was, but it was it was the tone He said it I'm like that feels different than anything anyone's ever said to me plus again last time we talked about the fucking lawyer or

Who hadn't committed a murder at that point? But I still knew he was crazy and I would get I have a hate mail fucking file And I used to argue with them back and forth like a dummy But people would tell me watch your back. I know where you live I'm gonna shoot you and then I would see a real name sign to it and I'm like, yeah that guy's mentally ill Fuck yeah, there are a lot so I started doing that at the comedy cellar I would always use names from the JFK assassination like

Like David Ferry was appearing. It was never Oswald or Kennedy. I wasn't that on the nose, but it was him. It was Clay Shaw. It was just all these weird people from the Kennedy assassination. Ali Wong used to have to do that at the comedy store. Because he was famous, right? Yeah, she'd get stalkers. There was this one crazy guy that kept showing up.

But, you know, I guess stalkers for a woman are even more creepy. Much more terrifying for a woman. And it's like, there's got to be a way. Like, in Black Mirror, there's one thing. They had a thing where you could block people from seeing you. And again, it's a futuristic thing. But the penalty for stalking should be so fucking severe. Because the way they allow someone to ruin someone else's life. Yeah. It's crazy that they haven't figured out something where when you're convicted of stalking, you should be forced to...

to have something in your phone or some type of a monitor bracelet that alerts the other person. It drives me crazy. There's nothing I hate more than some fucking creep stalker. But I guess I've dealt with it, so. Again, it's very creepy for women. Way more creepy for women. And they get a lot more of them.

Yes. A lot of guys get obsessed. Yeah, because I don't get stalked. No, I'm not interesting to stalk because I fuck you. If you want to stalk me, just show up and have nice tits. I mean, you got me. But I did fuck one stalker, which turned out to be. Oh, no. Yeah, it was a bad move. And I was bad in bed. I couldn't keep it up. It was during the lawsuit. It was a really bad time for me.

me. And I kind of felt badly. She thought I didn't like her, but I was just... But anyway, for two years, it was phone stalking. And it was not scary like it would be for a woman. Just annoying. But it becomes a part of your life. This is with the old iPhones. So I would always get these... I would leave LA on a red eye and I would land and my iPhone would be filled with voice messages about, you know what, Jim, and just what a piece of shit I was and a bad guy I was.

So, like, she used to think I was talking to her on the radio. Oh, she was schizophrenic. I don't know. We would talk dirty a lot. And, you know, credit where it's due. Good dirty talk? Oh, you have no idea. The crazy ones are the best. Fuck, they anticipate...

Exactly what you need right before you get there. Oh. Psychotic and erotic. Yeah. Real close. It really is. Because there's something about the inhibitions being lowered and, you know, the cuck talk. I always liked that. Not as much now because, again, I'm married, but I always enjoyed good cuck talk. It would always make me very happy. And I get why guys wouldn't like that, but it would make me fucking crazy. It's so weird what people like.

Like the shitting on the chest thing. That's bizarre. Influencers get paid to go to Dubai a lot of money, and those guys will shit on them. Wait, they shit on the influencer or the influencer shits on them? They shit on the influencer. I can see that. Yeah, like hot girls. Hot girls go over there and they can make half a million dollars getting shit on for a weekend.

That's crazy. Yeah. Probably more than that. I mean, if you're thinking about people that have insane amounts of money, you're dealing with like oil money.

These guys, like, you know we talk about the richest people in the world? Yes. Elon Musk is the richest man in the world. Yes. Well, he's the richest public man in the world. I mean, I'm not saying he's not insanely rich. He's worth 200-something billion dollars. Yeah. But that's nothing compared to these royal families. Right. These oil families, they probably have trillions. They probably have trillions of dollars, but it's not public. They don't have to disclose how much money they have. Whereas in America, like, wealthy people that are, like, on the...

on the legit and the up and up you you know everybody knows what your net worth is everybody knows how much you have but to pay somebody see I thought you meant to get shit on but to shit on an influencer I've seen a few TikToks where I'm like I'd give her a thousand if she let me take a dump on her she was annoying she was annoying I think that's what they do

That's crazy. I mean, people have talked about it openly. Girls have talked on some of those weird podcasts. Girls have talked about how they go over there and they make hundreds of thousands of dollars. And it's only like 20 minutes of their time. They just lay there. Some guy shits on them. Everybody cheers. Oh, there's a group of people watching? Yeah, a bunch of guys. Your boys are there and you shit on her. An influencer. Because she probably said something you didn't like. Or you just want to shit on a hot girl's tits. I mean...

That would do nothing for me. And I'm a pervert. I think it's like a humiliation thing. They want to humiliate people and they want to know that they have so much money that they can get you to submit to this willingly. Dude, I've seen the humiliation look every time I fuck someone. I know what that look is.

It is a fucking weird desire to want to shit on somebody. It is because it's so not sexual. Like, it's weirdly punishing or like, and again, being dirty, I'm not saying having the fetish is wrong, because I'm pissed off. Like, it's whatever. I mean, a lot. I've done a lot of trying it. And I don't even know what I liked about it. I don't know what I liked about it. Because it's naughty.

It was intimate and naughty. It was private. Private, intimate, and naughty. Yeah. And I think, well, that's you're getting pissed on. Whereas if you're having someone lay there while you shit on them, that is just an ultimate expression of the power of money. I suppose it is. I just don't understand the desire...

There's like there's so many things I would love to do if people would let me do them for money But not shit on them like that would just be so like my shits are horrendous I'd be embarrassed and I know and you want to make sure you could shit at the proper time because you can't really time your shits No, but again if you have enough money to bring her over and shit on her you have enough money to keep her on hold I'm drinking coffee

I'm having a cold, bro. I'm smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, brewing up a good one for you. I have not heard that. I know that people get sent over there and they fuck. I actually want to go to Dubai. It's one of the few places. Have you been to the Burj? No, I haven't been to that, but I've been to Dubai.

I was in Dubai once because they had the weigh-ins there for the UFC. And it's like everywhere you look, it's like Rolls Royce, Ferrari, Lamborghini. The amount of money there was preposterous. And this was quite a long time ago. This was like 2007, I believe. That's probably before the bridge was built.

Was it the Birch Cleaver? I don't think it was. No, I don't think it was there. So what I had seen is just like what was there then and just the obscene amount of wealth. I mean, it's really like shocking. Yeah. I want to go just to go up because I'm afraid of heights. So like I want to go into that observation deck on top. How many floors is it?

I want to say it's like 120 or something. It's crazy. It's 3,000 feet, the tower. I think it's the tallest structure in the world. And there's a few people who have sat in that. You see that picture of Tom Cruise who is batshit crazy. He actually jumped out the window of that thing for real. You ever see footage of him training for that Mission Impossible? He jumped out the window? He jumped out the window strapped in. And I've seen footage of him taken by people on the observation deck of Tom Cruise hanging out

on the outside of the Burj Tower. And there's a picture of him sitting on the very, very top. It's 3,000 feet. And his feet are just hanging off. And a helicopter is circling. He was the first guy to do it. Is he not harnessed or anything? He's probably harnessed on his back somehow. What is this, for a Mission Impossible movie? One of the Mission Impossibles. Oh, my God.

Oh my God. It's like he's in space. Oh my God. Look how tall that is. He's running. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. He's a fucking maniac. He is. The fact that he's still doing these stunts and he's 62 years old. Do you see what he did in the last Mission Impossible? He jumped in a flaming parachute, ripped the parachute off, and then opened up the second parachute. And, you know, I mean-

There's no backup parachute for the second parachute. He's doing this for a movie. I've never met Tom Cruise. If I ever met him, all I want to ask him is, how do you get insurance companies to agree to let you do this? I can't imagine. He was running down the face of the town. And some of it was shot in CGI, but that's legit. That was real. Yeah, here it is. Look at this. So he jumps out in a flaming parachute. And this is all planned out.

I mean, they douse the parachute with gasoline, jumps, they light it on fire. Look at that. He did it 16 times. 16 times? Oh, my God. So he has to cut it loose, and then he has to open up his secondary parachute. You wonder, is there a kill switch? Like, if you push a clamp and you can't get the clamp open. No, he's fucked. Like, if he can't cut loose, he's fucked. And if his second parachute doesn't work, he's double fucked.

I heard him say sort of like he figures out something crazy he hasn't done and then just goes through all the processes of like how do you learn how to do this? Yeah, he learned how to fly helicopters for one of the stunts. So like one of the stunts where they're bombing through the canyons. Yeah. He was actually flying the helicopter. He wanted to make it really obvious that it was him flying that helicopter. And the side of the plane. I've seen him talk about like being on the side of the plane that took off when he was hanging off the plane. Yeah.

But you wonder, like, what is it in you that, like, what kind of a rush when you're not working? What do you do to, think about how, like, fucking Cowboy Serrani will fly a plane and then cut the engine and fall because he's fucking crazy and he needs dopamine. What do you do to match this in your real life? This is the new one, the new plane thing. He's done a couple of different plane ones. This is just one of them.

Oh, you see the string there, yeah. Yeah, but they edited all that in the movie, right? Yeah, but what if the string breaks? Yeah, what if the string breaks? That's right. You can only have so much faith, right? Also, what if he gets hit by a bird right here and gets KO'd? Or falls back and bangs his head on the side of the... Well, this is a thing that's only for these Mission Impossible movies. But by the way, he's been doing these Mission Impossible movies forever.

Yes. I was listening to an EPMD song the other day, and in the thing, it's like, Mission Impossible, not Tom Cruise. They were joking around about Tom Cruise being in Mission Impossible in an EPMD song. From like, what year was that? Oh, EPMD, you know what I was thinking? EPMD, the rappers. 97. 97. Do I not know them? That was his first Mission Impossible movie?

I mean, that's when the lyric came out. The song's called The Joint. That's where it's in, I guess. What year was the first Tom Cruise Mission Impossible movie? Probably the same time. Maybe even 96, 95 if they were writing about it. Wow. That's wild. That is wild. So he's been basically doing Mission Impossible for 30 years. He's 62 now. Yeah.

Crazy. But he doesn't do that in the other movies he does. Well, some of them. Does he? Does he do crazy stunts in all of his movies? What about that? You mean the one, the Live, Die, Repeat? Oh, yeah. Was he doing stunts in those? I mean, I don't know exactly how many of them he did, but he did the- Jack Reacher 2? I was trying to think of two, yeah.

And he also broke his ankle. He was jumping from one building to another. And destroyed his ankle. And he destroyed, but he actually fucking limped and tried to finish the shot. Like, what a pro. He finished the shot. Yeah. It's insane. You can see his ankle collapse when he hits the wall. Yeah, he's a fucking nut, man. Like, a real nut. It's like when you look, but you ever watch old Buster Keaton footage? Oh, yeah. The crazy shit that he would do, the train or the building falling. How many Mission Impossible movies are there? Like, there's...

Is there 11? I thought it was like seven or eight. Seven, yeah. Seven? Yeah. So, and it all started in 96? Is that what you said? Mm-hmm. Jesus Christ, that guy's been in some fucking banger movies. Scientology works for some people. It's interesting that he wants to do...

All of his own stuff. The Firm I just re-watched. It's funny, I hated the music in The Firm so much it took me out of it. But that's a pretty, that's a great film. Gene Hackman was great in that. Oh yeah, yeah. What a shame he died. He's one guy I never met that I wanted to meet. Gene Hackman. Yeah, I would have liked to have met him too. He died bad though. He did, but he died kind of the way you want to die, just alone and home. Well, his wife died first, they think?

Yes. He had dementia, I think. Yeah. So I don't even know if he knew she was dead. They say he might have just been wandering. Maybe he just wandered around hungry. Oh, boy. I know. Doesn't matter who you are. Oof. Yeah. When your body stops working, it doesn't matter how many fucking people love you. It's over. Brando was like that. Like, I love... Because he was just so difficult. Like, you got to love a guy who's so good at something that people tolerate it. He was such a nut. He bought an island and moved there. I just...

would never acknowledge being a good actor like you I was interviewed with Connie Chong and she's like you're a great actor and his dog is there he goes he's a better actor he acts like he loves me because he wants food what a great what a great but he meant it like you knew he wasn't like some fucking douchey poser like he was really this guy well that's why he was so good

But he was also good before anybody was good. He was the first actor that was acting like a real person in movies. Whereas every other actor was like, hey, stay away from my girl, see? I can't watch old stuff. And look, I'll acknowledge, I stink. I know, I stink. So I can't judge other people. I'm not going to judge James Cagney or fucking Humphrey. Cagney's a good example. But you watch them, and you're like, they were so Victor Mature-ish.

Tommy, why don't you cut it out, Tommy? Yeah. And then you see Brando, I can't watch the old stuff. It's just theater acting or something. Right. On film. He was the first guy that figured out how to be real in a film. And James Dean did it as well. Yes. And then a bunch of other people. And now, you know, there's a lot of people that do it, but...

Nobody had figured it out. But again, it goes back to that thing where this was a completely new medium, right? It didn't really exist before him. He was like one of the very first...

movie stars that figured out how to do it correctly, but there weren't a lot of... It wasn't a long history of movie stars. It was a fairly new thing. Yes, and I've seen footage of his screen test for Streetcar Named Desire. Stanley walks into the kitchen, and he's just talking, and he's talking to Stella. It might have been Stella. And he's just moving and grabbing stuff, and you're watching him, and you're like, I would never have the confidence...

to just touch and behave. Can you find that? Screen test from Streetcar Named Desire? Is that it right there? Hey, let's listen. Oh, we got headphones again, Jim. Yes. And this is even different than what I was thinking. The one I was thinking was in the kitchen. Maybe it's part of the same one. Here he's just putting a cigarette out in a fucking bottle. No, hold on. Go back to that. Yeah. Action! What the...

Oh, so this is actually real footage, though. Yeah, and this is different than the one, but it's interesting to see. These are outtakes. You can hear the camera. Yeah. But even the way she's looking at him looks old school compared to what he's doing. She's looking at him in a very strange way that doesn't feel like...

Right. It doesn't feel real. It feels like she knows she's in a movie. Yeah. He was a good looking guy back then. Oh, he was a fucking, what a pussy machine. He fucked them all too. And then he just, he didn't like the fact that he's good looking. So he became a blimp. Just ate ice cream. How do you not love that guy?

He got so big during Apocalypse Now that they had to film in the shadows. And he wouldn't acknowledge that because they were trying to make it like Kurtz had gotten fat and was living the life of... And he wouldn't do it. Yeah. Just sat there in the shadows. Yeah. What a fucking nut. But, you know, again, it's just... There wasn't a lot of people like that. I mean, how do you not...

go crazy. He's the only guy, and I can't watch Shakespeare. I mean, I know he was the greatest. I just can't watch him. And I watched him doing, I think he played Mark Anthony or Julius Caesar, and watching him do Shakespeare, you felt like he's really saying these, like, you know what I mean? It always feels so British, you know? What's hot for a window break? It just doesn't feel connected to the person. Right. And I watched him. I'm like, this is like a real guy actually saying this. Yeah. So he's the only person I've ever been able to watch do Shakespeare. Right.

Yeah, there's an art. There's a real art to acting. It's just done badly so often that we hate most actors. Yeah, and it's hard to do. And again, there's very few things I give myself credit for, but I do give myself credit for recognizing my limitations in that area. It's been easy to recognize when people have pointed it out, but I understand it. It's also not an area that you're really concentrated on, nor were you drawn to it, right? So when you're doing it, you're like, how am I doing this? It's like if you get Tom Hanks to do stand-up.

When he did Punchline, it was fucking terrible. It was rough. Because he wasn't really doing stand-up. You know, he's an actor. But if you wanted to be an actor, if that was your thing, you'd probably be great at it. Do you know who I saw that was shooting some of the... Will Arnett. I think Bradley Cooper just directed a movie at the Comedy Cellar. Is that him doing Shakespeare? He's 29 years old here. He's 29? He's 29 and 53. The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was ambitious. If it was so, it was a grievous fault.

And grievously hath Caesar answered it. Here on the leave of Brutus and the rest. For Brutus is an honorable man. So are they all, all honorable men. Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me. But Brutus says he was ambitious. And Brutus is an honorable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome whose ransoms did the general coffers fill. Did this and Caesar seem ambitious? When did the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept?

Ambition should be made of Cerner stuff. Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, and Brutus is an honorable man. You all did see that on the loop of Calais, Thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious, and sure he is an honorable man.

I still don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Yeah, I don't know either, but I believe him. It's powerful. Yeah, he's locked in. He's locked in, man. Yeah. He understands what he's saying. Yeah. He understands the words. Right. And he's living the words. Yes. It's in his head. He believes it when he's saying it. And that's like the Daniel Day-Lewis thing. Yes. Like when he's playing that crazy guy in There Will Be Blood. Oh.

Oh, yeah. He believes it. I drank your milk. Yeah. Like, it's real. It's in. He's locked in. Craziest part of that movie is when he's sitting there with the kid and he's petting the boy's head. At one point, it was supposed to be his son. Yeah. And I'm like...

as an actor to touch a kid like even though you're acting he was petting this boy like the way you would pet your son like it was like he's so comfortable and so in this that you really believe this is his side that stuck out for me like the level of comfort you need

on a set to do that. Because I've been on a set with a kid there. Everybody's like, make sure you don't curse. And this guy didn't give a fuck. He just picks the kid up and starts petting his head. Well, he's got to be that guy. And he's a method guy, so he'd be that guy for months. Have you met him? No. No, I haven't either. Gary Oldman I like a lot, which is not exactly a stretch. Gary Oldman, I think, is one of the most...

Versatile. Have you seen Slow Horses? No. It's the Apple show. It's really good. What is it? It's a spy show. He plays a spy. Oldman or Daniel Day-Less? Oldman.

It's a new show. Oh, no. It's really good. I haven't watched anything on Apple. Like, I tried to watch The Morning Show, but I didn't love it. Did you see Severance? Severance is great. Season one, I loved. Yeah, season two, it got a little weird. It almost got a little weird, like the way Lost did, where they were doing things to serve the kind of show that they were. Right. But I didn't... I'm like, what does this mean? Like, this is just crazy and weird, but they're just doing it, like, to be...

Again, I watched it and I probably will watch season three. But season one I liked more. Yeah, season one was better. I think there's some shows like that where the concept is so out there. It really has a finite amount of time where you're allowed to maintain that. Yes. And then it just becomes...

We have to get to season again. I say lost. Yeah lost is the best example because first season it was fucking great It was and the back storytelling like I look at the writing in that and again, it was TV They only had a certain amount of leeway they could do either their backstory stuff was great the writing on you know John Locke and on Kate and all these people these men the way they would tie in their Backstories I thought was brilliant, but then the way they ended I was like fuck you know

Everyone complained about it, but I'm like, they missed what they should have done. You know what's a great fucking story? Or a great show, rather? Mobland. Have you seen Mobland on Paramount? Who is... Somebody... It was either Colin or Bobby was recommending Mobland. It's fucking great. Is it? It's fucking great. It's a Guy Ritchie show. It's fucking great. Who was the show? Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy.

Pierce Bronson plays the old mobster. He's fucking amazing in it. You know, you think of Pierce Brosnan, you think like kind of a campy James Bond. Not in this fucking movie. Really? He plays a maniac, like a stone cold maniac. It's great.

Did you see footage of Tom Hardy? I just saw footage of him submitting someone. Oh yeah, he's good. He's a black belt, right? No, no, no, he's not a black belt. Oh, he's not? I think he might be a purple belt. Is he a purple belt or is he a blue belt? He competes, though. I know, I just saw footage of him. But he's all fucked up now. His neck's fucked up. His knees are fucked up. Purple belt. Purple belt. He's legit, man. Yeah. He's legit. I've watched him compete.

Yeah, I was like, okay. And like Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg's legit. He's real. He gets in tournaments. He's a very competitive guy. I've seen footage of him. For a guy who's worth $200 billion, it's kind of crazy to enter into a local jiu-jitsu match and risk getting spiked on your head by a plumber. You know?

Some fucking, some plumber who's also a blue belt fucking, you know, suplexes you on your skull. And he recognizes you and his fucking account just got banned. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been posting QAnon memes. And then he sees you and he thinks it's destiny.

And by the way, he wore a mask up until the time he's about to compete. So they don't know they're going to compete with Zuckerberg until he's in there with them, which is really a mind. It's kind of a huge disadvantage to the opponent. Yes. Like what? Because especially if you've never been around a famous person before. Right. And now all of a sudden you have to. And you're also an amateur because he's an amateur. Yeah. So you're all like what? You're probably like blown away. Maybe the first time you've ever competed too. And you're competing against Zuckerberg or

But I think he's a blue belt too, right? I believe so. What belt is Zuckerberg? Zuckerberg brings in legit people though. Like he trains with very, very legit people. Bukanovski I know is training with him. I know he's around Alex Pereira a lot. Stylebender, yeah, Pereira. Yeah, he brings in like Dave Camarillo who's a top level Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt. He brings him him.

Blue belt, yeah. He's legit, man. He blew his knee too, right? Yep, tore his ACL. He wound up getting, I tried to talk him out of the type of surgery that he got. He got the difficult surgery, which is a patella tendon graft surgery.

I've had both my ACLs reconstructed, and my left one was a patella tendon graft. My right one was a cadaver, and the cadaver was so much easier to recover from. And I told him, I'm like, dude, get the cadaver. Trust me. And his doctor wanted to do the patella tendon. He wound up doing that. It's a long rehab with the patella tendon.

But you know the fact that he blew his knee apart and still kept training is pretty impressive as well Yeah, and I'm in that place too like where I have inflammation. I'm just trying to get healthy like I've been seeing some guy I don't know if I need surgery, but I'm getting MRIs getting insurance to approve MRIs the fucking nightmare But I want to get my ankle my hip my knee. I'm all fucked up. What's wrong? I've been fucked up for years I've had like my leg goes numb my right leg was going numb in my thigh and

Did you ever get your back looked at? I did. Again, I'm trying to get approval for the MRI for that, but I twisted my ankle very badly a few times. How long are you in town for? I'm supposed to come tomorrow. Okay. What time tomorrow? When's your flight? First thing. First flight. I might be able to get you into Waze 2 Well this afternoon.

Ways to Well is the local stem cell clinic. They'll shoot you up with stem cells. That'll fucking help everything, man. Does it help? Oh, tremendously. Tremendously. Where do they shoot them? Tremendously. Right in the injury. Yeah. I got back. I'm a fucking... But I feel better now. I've been doing these stretches that my physical therapist recommended.

And I'm going to someone who gave me some anti-inflammatory pills for a week, and I feel a tremendous difference. Be careful with those. What do they do? Well, it depends on what you're taking. If you're taking a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory, they're terrible for your gut biome. It destroys your gut biome. It can be really bad. It can actually make inflammation worse.

Like my friend Cam Haynes, he was taking 800 milligrams of ibuprofen every day. And I talked to him about it. I go, what are you doing? What? And then I sent him some stuff that Rhonda Patrick had put out about it. I'm like,

Dude, get off of that. He got off of it, all of his pain went away. The inflammation was being caused by the fact that he was taking so much ibuprofen. It was ruining his gut biome, so it was creating inflammation. So to combat that inflammation, he was taking ibuprofen. And he thought the only way he was going to be able to run the miles that he was running was to constantly chew on ibuprofen. So he got off of it entirely, all the pain went away.

Totally counterintuitive. Yeah. I've only been on these, he said one week is all. He goes, I only want you to take them for a week. What is it? What do you do? I don't remember, but he goes, I just want to see if it, he's trying to see like how severe the injury is. I want to see if this does help at all. But he goes, take them for, he gave them to me for a month because don't take them for more than a week. So I like the fact that he's showing restraint. He's like, well, the thing is, doctors have a limited amount of tools. If you want to prescribe medication to somebody, you know, whatever the,

you know, whatever the common practice is, is what that doctor has to adhere to. They can't step out of line. And the reality is a lot of that stuff has side effects, but there's natural ways that you could deal with inflammation like curcumin, turmeric. There's a lot of different, you know, that stuff that helps a lot. That's legit. And it's not bad for you, but a lot of inflammation comes from diet. A

A lot of it. A big factor. Like I remember I talked to this lady who was a physical therapist and I had a neck issue and she was like, you'd kind of be amazed if you cut out all the inflammatory foods in your diet how much it would affect it. I'm like, really? She's like, yeah. I mean, you probably do have a neck injury, but I guarantee it's exacerbated by the foods you're eating. She said, cut out bread, cut out sugar, and see if it has an effect.

You know, I've tried to because I fattened up and I know it like I put weight on and the again for me It was a dopamine thing. I'm not doing the things I used to do right So you need something to do that just like give me a sandwich something. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna do Right that's my bane of my existence a fucking pretzel like it really is it's not like I'm eating pizza I'm not eating cake all that shit is terrible sourdough pretzels. I call that shit. So I our bread is fucked. I

And our bread is so fucked. If you go and I'm sure you've been overseas, you go, go eat bread in Italy. You don't feel bad at all. No, you're not. It's not as bad. We're fucking poison. Also, I'll play this thing because Brian Simpson sent me this and it's very good. Hold on a second. Let me show you right here. But it's all about bread. Brian Simpson sent me this and he's like, I think I'm done with bread. And I was like, oh, my God, like this is kind of crazy.

Do I need my glasses? No, no, no. I'll put it up on the screen. I'm going to find it, though, because he sent it to me. Here it is. Copy. Sent it to Jamie. Here it is. It won't matter if there's World War III, but if there's not World War III, I'll probably stay away from bread. American bread. You mean eat sourdough bread. Sourdough bread is fucking great for you, but play this from the beginning so we could... This guy's going to explain what's wrong with American bread. ...to me why I can eat bread in Spain and in... I can eat in Greece...

Italy? No problem. What? I was gluten-free in 15 years. I've been gluten-free in Canada, America.

Can't eat it. That's because in America, what we call bread can't even be considered food in parts of Europe. See, here in America, it's not so much the gluten as what we've done to the grain. About 200 years ago, we started stripping the bran and germ, or the fiber and nutrients, to make flour shelf stable, also nutritionally dead. Because the nutrients were gone, we enriched it with folic acid, which a large majority of the population can't even metabolize. Therefore, many people experience fatigue, anxiety, hyperactivity, and inflammation.

But then the bread wasn't white enough, so they bleached it with chlorine gas and the bread didn't rise enough, so they added a carcinogen called potassium bromate, which is banned in several countries like Europe, the UK, and even China. Then we wanted to ramp up production, so we started using glyphosate to dry out the wheat before harvest, causing endocrine disruption and damaging your gut. So now you're bloated, brain fogged, tired, and blame gluten, but gluten is just the scapegoat. The real issue is ultra-processed, chemically altered, bleached, bromated, fake vitamin-filled wheat soaked in glyphosate. This isn't bread. This is.

Who is that dude? What's his name? Danny Durer. Click on his so we could give that guy some props. Dennis Echelberger. Echelberger. Echelberger. Danny, D-N-N-Y underscore D-U-R-E on Twitter and Instagram. Do you know, I will never, as I'm watching him do that,

I will never be able to do anything into camera as well as he just described how shitty bread is. Like I was watching him doing like he's getting all the words proper and he's fucking, he's giving the information. He's not blinking. He's not twitching. He's just not annoying. He's not annoying. Yeah. He's just giving it to you. Perfect delivery. But that should be something that everybody should see. When I know that when I cut that stuff out of my diet, it makes a giant difference. Also, I should say Joe DeRosa, who has this amazing sub shop in,

in New York and he's going to open up one out here in Austin. Oh nice. Joey Rose's, fantastic sub shop. Their wheat is all flown from Italy.

It's all like natural wheat. And so their bread doesn't fuck with you. And they make it fresh every day and they throw it out at the end of the day. You never have day old bread. It's always fresh and they bake it there. So it's like when he's getting bread for his sandwiches, it's the kind of bread that you get in Europe. Do you know, I think I have to think you're right because there was one time we had DeRosa on the show. It was the morning show and he didn't bring us any sandwiches.

I'm like, where's the fucking sandwiches, Joe? How about a sandwich? He couldn't. That's what he said. Yeah. And I was like, fuck him. Because then he did chip and he brought in sandwiches, but we taped in the afternoon. Yeah. And I'm like, he was telling the truth. Telling the truth. DeRosa was telling the truth about his bread. Yeah. When they had a pop-up out here at South by Southwest and he brought over sandwiches. They were fantastic. They are very good. Unbelievably good. That is my number one favorite.

If I have a vice, it is Italian food. My big vice is Italian sandwiches, Italian subs, pasta, lasagna. That stuff gets me. I fucking love it. But you have to get it from a place that's using heirloom wheat.

And you can find places. There's a lot of great restaurants in New York. There's great restaurants in L.A. that use heirloom wheat. And you'll eat their pasta and you don't feel bad. Most of the bread that you're getting in America is like what that guy described. And that's why you feel like shit when you eat it. Yeah, I feel like shit most of the time. Especially like just always tired. I finally got, whatever, the apnea. It's a fucking, you know, I'm an old man complaining. I just, I can't breathe when I sleep. It sucks. Have you tried a carnivore diet? You ever tried that?

No, and I know that my fear of eating too much meat is probably unfounded. But no, I've done Whole30, which actually I shed weight. What's your fear? What's the fear of eating too much meat? Does cancer feed on meat? No. That's what I was always afraid of. No, cancer feeds on sugar. Okay. Yeah, that's the number one thing that cancer oncologists will tell you.

When they if they're trying to adjust your diet some don't and it's very infuriating I've had family members that have cancer and their doctor tells them you're gonna go through chemotherapy eat whatever you want Like oh my god, don't eat whatever you want like part of what is wrong with you is your diet It's a giant part of your overall metabolic health. I

But a lot of oncologists now will try to get people on a ketogenic diet because it gets your body to burn fat instead of burning sugar. And then it starves the cancer. They're also they'll try to get you to do some some fasting, like intermittent fasting, like have a window feeding where you fast for 16 hours and then eat for eight or you can only eat during eight. The keto diet. I never did it.

But this is what a delusional idiot I am. When I was in Montreal during the pandemic, I joined Costco and I would go and eat keto chocolates. And I somehow convinced myself that I was like, oh, it's keto. But I wasn't doing the rest of the fucking diet. Right. But they have some actually good shit you can eat if you're on the keto diet. I guess you're doing it right. Yeah. But I would go there and buy all these delicious keto chocolate clusters. So yeah, that one... I heard it gives you bad breath keto. Yeah. That was what I've heard. Again, I just...

I don't remember where I heard it, but they were like, there's something about ketosis fucks your breath up. I bet it does. Yeah, I bet it does. But just brush your fucking teeth and have a mint. Well, is it coming from the gut though? Yeah, it probably is. It's probably ketones. Ketones smell terrible. Have you ever taken exogenous ketones?

I've heard of ketones. What's an exogenous ketone? You can take exogenous ketones. It's ketones that you drink and it puts your body into an instant state of ketosis where your body instantly starts to burn fat. It actually is really good mentally. I take exogenous ketones sometimes when I have to perform or I have to do something. I've taken them before UFCs too. UFCs are like the big mind fuck for me because it's six hours.

hours of thinking. Yes. And I have to think about previous fights. I have to like predict techniques. I have to see what's going on. And then when it goes to the ground, it's kind of like my job is to explain particular submissions when it goes to the ground, especially in the early days before I did it with DC. Cause I was, you know, the only, like when it was me and Goldberg, Goldberg's not really a martial artist. So it was just me. So I would have to go like explain why someone's in trouble and what's going to happen to someone who's

doesn't understand like a triangle or something like that when someone goes to the ground and you need brain fuel. And so ketones help a lot. Another thing is like I eat these gum. These are gummies now, alpha brain gummies. But I always take some type of nootropic neuro gum or there's neuro gum has mints too. I'll take these mints. Like if you see me at the UFC, I'll have those. I take these little nicotine pouches. What do they call the –

Pins? What are they called? There's a word for those, little nicotine... I don't know. Pouches? Zin, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, these are different. These are from a company called Lucy. These are called Breakers. Do those have THC in them? No. No, no, no. It's just nicotine. This is all just nicotine. No, I mean those, the gummies. No, no, the gummies are just nootropics. Nootropics are like theanine. There's like a little bit of caffeine in these, and they...

One of the things we did with Onnit, we made this thing called AlphaBrain, which was there's a bunch of different nootropics out there and a bunch of acetylcholine, a bunch of different things that have shown to have an effect on your memory. And so we put together a group of these that would all work synergistically, and then we did two double-blind placebo-controlled trials at Boston Center for Memory.

And it showed efficacy. It showed that it helped increase verbal memory, which is like your ability to form sentences and recall the correct words to use, reaction time, alpha state. And so it's like it does work. And it's not just on it because I'm connected to it. Like I have no connection at all to NeuroGum or NeuroMints. Right. But it works and I tell people about it.

There's another company called True Brain that's really good. There's another company called Neuro One. That was the first one that I ever tried. That's Bill Romanowski, the football player. Oh, yeah. He developed that because he was having memory problems after getting fucking hit in the head for all those years playing football. As far as I've ever gone, what was that pill you were taking? It's not echinacea. There was one pill you were taking that was supposed to be good for memory. It was like one of those things you get on the fucking shelf in the vitamin store.

And I don't remember what it was, but I used to take that, but I didn't see any. I was taking it? No, me. I see the collective you. People would take. I don't know. But there's a bunch of those things. They're real. Like nootropics, it's a real thing. And a lot of people call it snake oil. And I understand. I understand that you'd be very suspicious. But.

But there's the reality, and this is one of the reasons why, you know, like I have a connection obviously to Onnit. We founded the company together, but I don't have any connection to NeuroBrain or NeuroOne. Take them. They work. There's real legitimate solutions that help your brain function, and they don't seem to carry any side effects. Some people, if they take high doses of some of them, get headaches. I think that's probably just like –

Some people react very badly to caffeine. Yeah. Some people react... You know, it's like everybody has their own different biological stuff, but try it. And the gum is a great one. Neuro gum is great because it's a delicious gum. It tastes good and it really works, man. I take it all the time. It helps your brain a little bit. Oh, yeah. I take it before I go on stage. I chew neuro gum before I go on stage. It's very legit. Do you know what I wanted to take? Jamie's got a big bag of it right there. And again, we're not connected to them. Right. This is just...

This is just stuff that works. I wanted to take... Because flying became such a, again, a fear for me again. Like, in this phase of my life, I don't fucking need that. So I talked to Whitney, and she was talking about beta blockers. I didn't take them. But I got... Like, do they help at all to, like...

But I have a low heartbeat anyway, so I don't know if it's going to fuck me up to take a beta blocker. Beta blockers stop you from getting anxious. They stop adrenaline. A lot of people, they get busted using them in archery competitions. They ban them. Sure. Because you're in the Olympics and you're just trying to hit that bullseye every time. Any kind of nerves or jitters is going to fuck with you. But the problem is it's going to be something that you get

you get addicted to or you maybe not even physically addicted but you you know you become dependent upon that's what I don't want and I think I've asked they said they weren't but for flying it's something I literally have to fight to do yeah yeah I'm getting a little bit better but anxiety dude I'm a fucking I'm a grown up I have to sit by the window and look at the wing I'm really hateable on a plane fucking six in the morning everybody's trying to sleep and I get my fucking fat face pressed up against the window staring like I'm eight right

So I'm trying to get out of that. Well, there are things. You know what's another thing that's really good for your cognitive function that a lot of people aren't aware of is creatine. And creatine is really good, particularly if you are sleep deprived.

Like there's a study that they did that showed that if you take, I think it's 20 milligrams of creatine, it has a really positive effect on your ability to maintain normal cognitive function while you're sleep deprived. Really? Yeah. I've heard of it. It's also very good for women. Creatine is especially good supplement for women to take for some strange reason.

But it's a muscle-building supplement. It's really good for helping you gain muscle mass and strength if you're weight training. That was what it was initially used for. But now they're realizing there's a lot of cognitive benefits to creatine as well. Yeah, I don't take any of that stuff. I probably should at this point. I take creatine every day. I take nothing other than just the little thing for my heart. You don't take vitamins?

No. Oh, God. I know. I probably should. I take everything. I take B. I do take B and I take one other one. You should take D for sure. You live in New York City. You know, you're probably not getting enough sun. No, definitely. Yeah. D is huge because D is a hormone. D is actually a hormone.

And it's a hormone that your body produces when you get into the sun. The best way to get vitamin D for sure is to be in the sun. But if you're not in the sun enough, one of my friends who's a doctor was in New York City when he was doing his residency. And he said they would do tests on people in New York City and they found that they had undetectable levels of vitamin D in the winter.

And he was like, you know, this has a huge effect on your immune system. This is the reason why people get like everyone's, oh, it's flu season. No, it's lack of vitamin D season. That's what it is. The flu doesn't thrive in the winter. The flu exists in the winter because people have a low immune system in the winter and then they start catching it and giving it to other people. But it's really a function of your immune system not working properly.

So you need D, and you should take D with K2, vitamin K2, and magnesium. They all work synergistically together. I'll remember it like hard. I will text you and ask you the same question. That's okay. Text me. I'll tell you. But you should take that, but you should also take B. You should take B12, B12.

You should take C. C is huge. You can't take enough of it, or you can't take too much of it. C is great. I could take liposomal C. It's really good for you. Yeah, because as you get older, man, you start thinking like, eh, these things are starting to affect me now a little bit. Not terrible. I'm still in pretty good health, but...

You start to panic and start to think. How old are you now? 56. I'm 57. I'm almost 58. And my body works great. And it's really because of that. It's just a huge effect. I don't skip days. And when I do, I feel it. But I try not to. And I have a whole cabinet filled with supplements that I take. I take a lot of vitamins. My body's never worked great, though. So it's not like I don't see any real drop off. Well, that's the problem.

You know, if you're working out and you're doing all these different things and you want your body to function better, just force yourself to do it. Get your wife to like make you little packets. It's real simple. You know, just lay all the stuff. I need two of these, three of these, one of those. Put it all in a package. This is methylfolate. Put that in there. This is –

And all that stuff has a giant effect on your health. You want your body to function optimally. And what I notice the difference is when I eat poorly, when I don't get enough sleep, and when I don't take supplements. I get that. I quit drinking like three months ago. A little more than three months ago now. Like nothing? You're not drinking at all? I haven't drank anything in three months. I feel great. Was it hard? No. It was super easy. It was really easy. You were ready. Yeah, it was like I just...

There was too many days where it's kind of hard when you own a club and you're there a lot and you're having drinks with friends and they're like, you want a drink? Yeah, I'll have a drink. And then the next day I'd be at the gym. I'd be like, I feel like shit. I'd be drinking all this water and taking all these electrolytes and getting a sauna and the cold plunge, just trying to get back to normal. I'm like, why am I doing that? Well, in the three months of no drinking, I have not had one bad day. I have not had one day where I felt like shit.

And it just confirmed what I thought. I was poisoning myself. Poisoning myself with fun. I was having a good time. It wasn't terrible. I wasn't an alcoholic. I wasn't drinking and driving or anything stupid. But it was a couple of drinks, a few nights a week. Maybe I'd go out with my wife on date night, have a couple glasses of wine. It was just...

at the end of the week, it's like you're drinking eight drinks and that's just not good. It's just not good for you. I can't imagine drinking and doing comedy. Like, again, I quit before I started. I see guys who are like, I can't, because I was not a fun drunk at all. I was a fucking crier. I was the fucking worst. No one liked me. You fucking piece of shit. Ah!

But you were like 19. 18, I was 18, yeah. You're not even supposed to be drinking back then. I know, and people are like, oh, he was too young. Try it again now, Jimmy. People would love, but they wouldn't like me. I was a cutter. I mean, who the fuck wants a 56-year-old cutter? I mean, how awful is that? That's awful. So it's the best thing I did because I was not a fun guy to be around. Some guys are fun. Oh, yeah. Like when Anthony drinks.

He's, you know, at times I wish his fucking Twitter fingers were broken. Yeah. But I wish he would lock his fucking phone. But he is a funny, like he's not usually an angry drunk. Right, he's functional. He's a functional guy. I was never functional. I was vomit. I was the phone I should call the FBI. I fucking, you know, I used to call bomb threats into my high school. I was fucking crazy. Oh, boy. I called...

I can say it now. I mean, I called, let's say, a threat into the White House. But I was 13. I was 13 when I did it. That's so crazy. What a crazy thing to do. The Ku Klux Klan, I called the fucking... Because I was like little Lib Jimmy. And I read that there was a Klan book I read. And the guy was like a preacher for the Ku Klux Klan. So I called him. I looked his number up on 411 back then. It was in the early 80s. Wow. And I got his name and I called him. I was like, are you fucking racist? Yeah.

And he actually talked to me. And he was like, oh, I got out of the Klan. I'm not in that anymore. We actually had a conversation. He actually engaged me for about 20 minutes. I had a conversation with some Klan. When you were a kid? I was 14 years old, 15 years old. Wow. Again, I remember calling for information. Well, good for him for doing that. Yeah, for getting out. Yeah, getting out and talking to you about it.

that on the phone. He didn't have to talk to you about that. He could have just hung up. I'm surprised because many people did. I was a fix the world on the phone. Thank God. Do you know who Daryl Davis is? No. Daryl Davis is a guy who's been on the podcast a couple times and he's a blues musician. Is he black? Yes. Okay. And he's the guy that would convert the Klan members. I know who he is. Yeah. And he gets their costumes. They give him their wizard costumes at the end. He's just... Because he's probably a guy who's not...

And I have seen stuff by him. He probably is just a good guy and it's hard to dismiss him because he's not force feeding you. Exactly. It's hard to dismiss anybody when you're just, when you're not, no one wants to be messaged at. Right. Right, right, right. I don't, I can't, in standup I can't even do it. Like my job is not to convert people. I want you to know what my life is. I hope you have some respect for it. Like I'm just living the way I want to live. Yeah.

And I'm not out to tell other people they have to feel this way. Right. Because no one wants to be messaged that. Nobody. It doesn't work. It's not effective. If it was effective, I'd probably do it. What's effective is what Daryl does. He just shows you, like, this is a good man. I must be wrong if I think that all black people are evil. Right. This guy's, like, become a good friend. You have him over for dinner. And then the guy's like, I'm telling you right now, I'm getting out of the Klan because of you. And he did it to, like, 200 different people on a one-on-one basis. Where he gets to know them individually.

And getting beyond, it's like we talked about before, like anytime somebody is an asshole publicly, but when you meet them and you realize, oh, there's a person here, like. It's the way people are supposed to communicate. And this is what I think is so terrible about social media. Too many people just become so accustomed to barking at people, just barking out into the abyss. Yeah, I have to stop myself from doing it. There's been times people have tweeted something and I want to make like a comment.

And I'm like, shut up, dummy. They're not talking to you. Exactly. Mind your fucking business. I really do say that to myself. Mind your business, you fucking hen. And when I see people do it, I think that guy's mentally ill. Like, you're engaging with these people. You're yelling at these people on Twitter. You're mentally ill. Yeah, like, I don't care what other people... Like, I care what people think about me in the sense that I want them to think I'm funny and I want them to... Of course we all want to be liked.

But I don't care what people's opinions on the Middle East are. I don't give a shit. You're not going to change their opinions. And I don't need them to agree with mine. Like, I have enough confidence in my own brain that I am not always right, but I'm always comfortable in my opinions. And I'm not afraid of somebody... I'm okay being wrong, too. Right. Like, I don't need the power of agreement from somebody. It's just...

Good for you. But it's only because I've tried it in my life and it hasn't worked. Right. It doesn't make you happy when you get it. No. It only makes you angry. It doesn't work. It's a terrible way to communicate. Yeah, it is. Jimmy, I love you to death. I love you too, Joe. Thank you, buddy. It's always great to see you. Yes, sir. Tell everybody. Yes. The special is called...

Unconceivable. I kept forgetting the name, and it's not a misspell. Unconceivable is actually a word in the English language, and it does kind of fit. And the podcast is Jim Norton Can't Save You. Both are on at Jim Norton Comedy at YouTube. And I'm really happy with this special. Nice. I would say that anyway. I'm not going to come up here and shit on my own special. I'm not that self-destructive. But I actually really was happy with this one. Beautiful. So I hope you like it. All right. Thanks, pal. Bye, everybody.