Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
You guys ever had your parents say like, well, your dog, it's at a farm now. We rehomed it. We gave it to a farmer. They lied. Well, our parents actually rehomed it to a farmer, remember? Mom and dad did not rehome our dog to a farm. Mom, dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon.
Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. Hey, bro. That dog is dead. I'm calling my mom right now. Hey, did we ever rehome our dog to a farm? No. What are you talking about? I'm so sorry. Gosh, honey. Extremely dangerous. Do not attempt under any circumstances to put a phone in the microwave.
It really will explode in five four three two one. Oh, yeah Yeah, let's talk about that and you cannot ask for medicine unless you are down bad I feel like I can't I can't even talk about it. I I'm like struggling What why like I like look disgusting like the thing is Like I literally woke up today
Indecided death. Is someone being a pick-me girl? No. What are you?
I'm just like ugly right guys I'm so ugly I'm like famous for being 14 and pretty I'm ugly right no I like literally what I'm saying is like my freckles are all splotchy I have pimples everywhere stop yes you do I have pimple on my lip somebody looked in the mirror no I'm kidding I'm kidding no and then I just yeah my self hand didn't work out did it help sorry for her
Think about how me and Matt feel. We grow hair on our face. Well, I kind of do. It's coming in. Soon I will be. At the ripe age of early 20s. Soon I will be growing hair. And then think about all the stuff I'm going to have to go through. Shaving every day. You don't shave every day. Well, I will. One day. When I grow facial hair. You at least get to hide your imperfections with makeup.
Cash just has to wear his on his face. There's man makeup. There is. He used to wear makeup and so did I. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you not know that? What's man makeup? The one that you used to wear. You used to wear makeup? I did. You didn't even know that until two seconds ago. I did like that.
No, mediums used to both wear Born This Way concealer. Born This Way concealer? Yeah. You remember the name, you weirdo? What? It was really good concealer. You had to go restock, obviously. You actually remember the name. Why do y'all wear concealer? Hey, why do you wear concealer? Because I'm a girl, and I mean, I'm not homophobic or anything. No, but why do you wear concealer? Like, because, I mean, it hides my under eyes, and I'm not even wearing it right now.
That's what they all say. Yeah. Yeah, that's why we were concealer. I have pimple. Or we did when we were like 16. That's mad weird. What? No, we were on film. No, Matt, it's mad weird. I'm just gonna lie. It is for you. We were on film. I wanted concealer. We only did it when we were like going on a shoot or something. Oh, that makes sense. If we were filming. I actually remember one specific time. No, normal day, we did not just put it on. I remember one specific time I did Cash's makeup for a meet and greet. Oh!
Listen I had I had bad pimples when I was like 16 they were like fat and they would just be like It looks like I just got shot with a paintball gun What I look like now without makeup he's been so bad And I've been like looking at myself
I'm sorry guys like I do not think I look like that in real life like I I like my hair like starts going like this she looks much worse in real life oh shut up it's a joke it's a joke and when I was holding their hands for the symmetry thing um the uh Dallas Cowboys cheerleader in math I did this I don't know oh double chin yeah and I have double chin do you guys want to see Kate always thinks I'm making fun of her double chin because I always grab her like this I'll look at her and I'm like I do this I'm like you're so pretty and I'm like
Oh, oh, oh. And she's like, and she's always like, stop grabbing my double chin. I was like, I'm not. I'm just like petting your, like your under skin. I'm just petting your jugular. It's nothing. I'm just petting like the under skin of your like chin. Just like, come here. Go, go, come here. I know what I feel like. It's like a chicken. I have looks like a hand bro with that Adam's apple.
Looks like a what? Dude, I just saw your Adam's apple dude just went up four stories like an elevator. I just saw it, man. Don't look at it. No. Are you self-conscious? No, I don't know. Should I be? Show your Adam's apple real quick. Show it. And make it move, dog. Ew. What? Make it move. Dude! I'm not even kidding. That thing has this much clearance. It goes from down here to down here. What? It's just an Adam's apple. You got one too. Not really. It's there. I don't know how you do that.
I don't have that like that. Why don't girls have Adam's apples? Anybody wonder that? I actually just decided not to have one. Oh, you should have done that, man. You know when you're being crafted, you can click yes, I want this, or no, I don't want this? You think people are ever going to get a surgery to get a bigger Adam's apple or get it taken away? Harper is showing us an edit of herself. Are you showing us your double chin? I'm going to see it.
Okay, I don't really know what's going on in the bad double wait text that to Alex. It is pop it up on the screen later You're fine Harper. No, that's pretty bad. That was a crazy double chin. No, no, no, no, no, no, it should do Simon Rue because I know wait text that text that to me No, I literally know literally know what finish your sentence They'd be making of us yeah
Yeah, they always they always have me in there to you on actual take talk cuz I can't know no Simi that video on take talk who deems on take talking your phone your nose text it What a weird human being where to go DME not take talk
- Does anybody actually DM on TikTok? - Yes. - There's no way. - Literally even my friends DM on TikTok. - No way. - No shot. - You message your friends on TikTok. - You better send it to my actual iMessage or I'm not opening it. - I don't know if I've ever opened a TikTok DM. - Listen, when you're at the level of me and Cash, you gotta turn off all notifications for the app. - When you're at the level of me and Cash? - You can't have notifications on. - Did you hear him?
I would give 10 million notifications. Because you're so popular. I like how he said when you're at the level of me and Cash, like he excluded Harper and Kay from getting many notifications. I mean, they clearly still have it on, so. Harper, did you text it to me? Actually,
What's crazy is... Harper, give me your phone. I am. I'm logged in to Harper's TikTok on my phone because I don't even know. I don't know why I'm logged in. But I was logged in for something and I'm still logged in. On my phone? On your TikTok. On TikTok? Probably for a brand deal or something. I don't know. Oh, really? But she has her comments on. So every morning I wake up and it's like somebody commented on Harper's Zillow's TikTok. You have your notifications on your comments? Obviously someone commented on Harper's Zillow's TikTok. She has 4 million followers. Oh.
Listen I'm just trying to like do you like having your notifications on no? I don't know how you have them on I know she likes looking at her phone and never said she looks at it's like you're so pretty Let's see Harper's notifications. It's her pick me up. We're gonna go over Harper's notifications. Oh
Live 360. A lot of live 360. Are you in like seven groups? She has a lot of live 360s. I'm just with my family's group and my old middle school group. Live 360, Instagram, a bunch of calendars, Snapchats, a bunch of Starbucks notifications. Same, honestly. That's where I get my double chin. Over 100 emails. Wait, what do you get from Starbucks? I sometimes get a chai or a white...
I can't function well on my phone. I'm sorry. Oh, your friend's calling you. No, when Harper goes to Starbucks. It's Brooklyn. We'll call her later. Wait, wait, wait. Guys, you guys got to let me finish these. She has 87 live 360 notifications. Wow. That's great. 70 missed call notifications.
Yeah, a lot of people... Guys, these are like notifications when you open it. These are like notifications that are on your screen. Well, that's... Do you have... Wait, do you have... Do your parents make you have Life360? Yes. A matter of what, he has Life360 voluntarily, bro. I don't... I certainly would not. But I was just curious. Oh, a lot of bank notifications. What? You're banking. I'm making bank...
So, what do you get from Starbucks? I get a, what's it called? So, I get either three things. So, food options, a chocolate croissant or a... A chocolate croissant? What's wrong with it? A chocolate croissant? A chocolate croissant. I don't know, but I don't really eat at Starbucks, but a chocolate croissant seems crazy. Is it like a croissant with chocolate sauce on it? No. It has two chocolate sticks in it, and they melt it, and I eat it. I want a chocolate croissant.
So do your parents have life 360 to make sure you don't go there too much because otherwise you're gonna get a really bad double chin? Yeah. No, actually, it's kind of crazy. The other day, I was going to pick her up for a shoot and I left early enough because I wanted to stop and get Starbucks and I was like, oh, I'm gonna call Harper and see if she wants anything and I was like, hey, do you want anything from Starbucks? She was like, mm, I'm just gonna door dash it. No, I said I already got some door dashing. How often do you door dash? A lot. Do you guys want to see my orders? You door dash?
Oh, you have to try to get extra money? No. Because you're funny. Do you ever check up on your parents on Life 360? No. What? They're always checking up on me. So from now on, if I'm going somewhere, I'm not supposed to be going. This is a sort. Hey, well, maybe you should check up on them. Touchy subject. Maybe they're lying to you. No. Maybe they're lying to you. Mom, parents lie sometimes. Wait, can they see, like, with the speed limit you're going?
Oh my gosh. Okay, cool conversation. I'm trying to see. That was fun. We lied to my parents about Life360 so bad. Oh my gosh. The amount of times I tried to get past Life360 as a child. I did. My orders, right? We got pizza at the Hut on Life360. Pizza at the Hut on Life360. Those are all my orders. We got two conversations going right now. Bro, all the pizza in the Hut is really Hutting my brain. Where?
We're talking about... I'm really hurting your brain. Wait, side note. Pizza Hut's the best pizza restaurant ever. We're talking about 360. Pizza Rush. That's the best pizza restaurant. That's all I had to say. I was... No, it was so sad what we did to my dad on 360. What did you do? Oh, no. First of all, y'all have to know my dad. My dad is like the sweetest guy ever. And he's the only person in my family that didn't have an iPhone. Oh.
So you had to get life-sustaining. No, no, it gets worse. Couldn't have five months. He just doesn't not have an iPhone. Scott was rocking with a Nokia. A Nokia. He has a Nokia.
Do you even know what a Nokia is? The Android user in the room is cringing. No, okay. To be fair, my dad just works for Nokia, so he gets a free phone. He's never paid for a phone in his life. Oh, so he built it. Yeah, he crafted it himself. No, he gets free phones. He's never paid for a phone. That's good. Anyways, obviously, you don't have Find My iPhone when you're a Nokia user. Right. So he was like...
Obviously. He starts texting me and my brother. We're like 15 and 16 years old. He's texting us. It takes like 15 minutes for the message to send. Yes. He's like, no, he was like, send us a link to life 360. Sit down.
He sent us the link to Life360, and he was like, you guys need to join it. I can't see your locations. I don't have to find my iPhone. And so we're in the backseat of the car, and me and Michael are stressing. Obviously, we don't want Life360. What are we going to do about it? We're stressing. We're both sneaking out in the middle of the night doing stuff we're not supposed to be doing. What did y'all do? What did you do? What were you doing? You two were picking me up.
in the middle of the night. That's what I was doing. Do you know what I'm going to lie about? One time, Maverick took one for the team. Actually, no. I'll talk about that in a second. Okay, but anyway, so my dad's like, download... Taking one for the team too many times. He's like, download Live360. And me and Michael are like stressing and like we see... Michael's like, oh, dad, it didn't come through. I don't know why. Like, it very well came through. And my dad's like, oh, okay, I'll try again. And he's finished the link like five times. And then...
And we're like, yeah, it's just broken because you got an Nokia. He literally said that. We were like, we think it's your phone, Dad. And he was like, this stupid phone, it doesn't do anything. And we never got Life 360. You should have got it because sometimes you got to keep tabs on your parents. Sometimes they be lying to you about where they're at. Yeah. Parents lie. Like one of you guys ever had your parents say like, say, yeah.
Well, your dog, we had to rehome it and send it to the farm. It's rehomed to a farm. It's gone to a farm. It went to the doggy place. It went to the dog. It's at a farm now. We rehomed it. We gave it to a farmer. The dog? You guys ever had your parents say that? Or what about? They lied. It died. What about when you're sitting? It did not. They lied. It died. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. Wait, no. We actually had it. Do you not remember that? What? Me and Matt actually had a dog. Well, our parents actually rehomed it onto a farm. Remember? Yeah.
Okay, so. Matt, Jake. I don't know who's going to tell him. Harper, you want to tell him? He's making it sound. Tell him what? Cash. You think your parents actually rehomed him? We had a dog named Jake. He was a little beagle. They did not rehome the dog. Yes, they did. Your dad would not take the time of day to rehome a dog. Yes, they did. Oh, no. Cash, Cash. I hate to say this, but can I see Gerald real quick? No, you can't see Gerald. Let me see Gerald. Fine, but be safe.
- She was planning that. - Okay, Harper, hold Gerald. - Now what the? - So this is what happened to Gerald. - No! - It did not happen. - That's what happened to Gerald. - Let me see that again. - No, not after that. - Horrific scene. - Cash, mom and dad did not rehome our dog to a farm. - Yes they did bro. - That dog is dead, died, gone. - No more. - Buried, alive, that day. - I'll call him right now.
your cash oh no oh no your heart's gonna be broken okay don't call him do you genuinely think the dog's living happy life on a farm somewhere okay he might be dead now that was like 10 years ago but they did have to we did have to rehome our dog no no no oh i feel bad we're telling him this live on the podcast no one told him oh i'm calling my mom right now i can't believe nobody told you gosh cash i'm so sorry hey did we ever rehome our dog to a farm
No? What guy were you talking about? I thought I could think of. I'm so sorry. I hate that for you, Cash. So what do you think happened to Jake? Bang, bang. Sorry. Your dad, your dad. He was barking too much, so he went, bang, bang. Your dad took care of it. Yeah. Cash, honey. His mom's calling him back. Aw. Yeah, his dog. Poor guy.
His dog got killed. It didn't get it. It was put out of its misery. I don't know. Maybe they took it to the vet. Maybe it died peacefully. Yeah, I doubt it though. But it didn't go to a farm. Your dad doesn't just... He does it quick. We can stick Gerald in the microwave but not turn it on. No, no, no. And turn it on. Yeah. Can we stick Gerald in there? Hey, Gerald's not fitting in there. Yes, Gerald is. Cash over, guys. See? See? Hey, open it. Open it.
They're gonna catch it on fire. What if it explodes? What are you doing? Why did you just throw her like that? Unlock it, it's not stopping! Gerald's in there, Cash. Nothing's in there. Why did it smell like pee when I... Uh-oh. Oh no. First it's dog, now Gerald. Dude, are you kidding me? Gerald just a little... Cash is gone!
stages of grief right now. She's amputated, okay? Hey, hey, we'll get you a therapist, bud. Just go find some tape. Hey, you came up here just in time. I was gonna put him in the microwave. Hey, don't tell Matt. Why'd you tell Matt? Just leave him here with us and you can go find some tape. Dude, yeah. You know that would be like five bucks. Nobody will be the same as Gerald was. Gosh, Gerald looks a little crippled up. Yeah.
No, it's actually not funny. What? He went to be... What do you mean? He joined James. Gerald is no more. He's... Y'all never take me seriously, bro. Can I see Gerald? No. Well... Harper, stick his phone in there. Stick his phone in there. No! Stick something in there. I don't know. Stick something in there.
Yeah, yeah. No, no. I paid for that. Stick that thing in there right now. Take it, Harper. No, no, no. Harper, listen to me. I'm the voice of reason. Put it in there. Guys, I'm just going to have to buy one of those. There's water in there. That's fine. Stick the puppy in there. Here, put this thing in there. No, put his drink. Please, please, please put his drink in there. Can you all stop playing around? He's coming back soon. Put the drink in there.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Stop it. Stop it. Oh, yes. Hurry. I don't care. Put it in there. You ever put water in a microwave? Pop that baby for 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Come on. 10 minutes. It's going to rupture the house. I don't know what it's going to do, but turn it on. Guys, what if it explodes? That would be hilarious. Turn it on. Sit down. I hope it doesn't. That's only 50 seconds. Do longer. Do like 10 minutes. Set it for 10 minutes. Dude.
- No, no, it's not gonna do nothing. Oh, I don't think that microwave's gonna get returned. - Bro, I'm about to die. - I'm stressing, I'm stressing what if it explodes? - I don't think it's gonna explode. - Oh, get out! - No, it's not gonna explode. It's been in there 20 seconds and it's still fine.
Don't stop it, Kate. Kate, do not press a button. I'm so scared, Maverick. Y'all stress me out when you start messing with things. I'm stressing. You know how you just felt? That's how I feel now. Listen. What? Think about how your husband feels. Don't press the button, Kate. No, stop. Kate, stop. Maverick, I don't want a house fire. She ruins everything. All the fun. Guys, I'm like shaking. I'm so nervous. What if I go down there and it pops in my face? No, no, no. Just leave it in there. Cash will get it out later.
Yeah, just leave it in there. I'm so nervous. I'm just going to go. What are you doing? I don't know. Okay, now it's just us two. Well, can we talk about how you just yell at me? What is a spoon? Harper, that's a spoon. Yes, put the spoon in there. That's a spoon. Put the spoon. Put the spoon. It's raw metal. It's going to spark everywhere. Stop, Matt. No, the cup was painted. Stop. It's fine. Yeah, see? No, it's not warm. Yeah, a little. It should be fine. I'm nervous.
- I'm very nervous. - Put it in there, put it in there. It's gonna explode, put it in there. - Yeah, also the house is gonna explode with it. - No, no, no, just put it in there and then later ask Cash to turn on the microwave while he's sitting on it. Yes. - When do you think Cash is gonna come back though, guys? - Whenever he's gonna get a new Gerald. - He's emotional right now. - He's looking down there trying to fix him up probably. Emotional damage. - He's very emotional. - Why is it so tense right now?
What are you doing? Turn that. Get off TikTok. I'm trying to catch my house on fire. Is there any other lies your parents told you as a kid? I mean, like, you know, don't turn that. Harper. Oh, oh, sorry. Do not watch this episode with your parents. This is like, we're giving you guys so many bad things to do. My parents. How to hack life 360. You have to just turn off the. Putting things in the microwave. Oh, they told you. They would, like, tell you, like, you can't have the light on in the back seat at night. Oh, that's the biggest lie. That's one of mine. Turn on the lights in the car or else.
or else the police will call. Cap. Such cap. You can turn the lights on. The police aren't doing nothing. Coffee stops your growth? Okay, yes. I have drank a lot of coffee and I'm still like five foot. But Kate also drank a lot of coffee. And I'm like six foot. So, bye. I'm turning around this car if you do blah, blah, blah. No, they're not. Okay, they might. That's a case-by-case basis. Really? I feel like they never turn the car around. Alex said, my dad turned around. Well...
You know another one that still scares me? When they say they're out of cookies, they're never out of cookies. They're lying. Yeah, they always got a stash of cookies hidden somewhere. That's all of them. Liars. Parents are liars. Yeah, they are. But when you swallow gum, it stays with you for seven years. Guys, remember when a few years ago on YouTube, I used to watch YouTube every single day, and they would do TikTok hacks they saw online, and maybe if you put a goldfish package...
Oh, what the? He looks much better. Dare you to turn on the microwave while you're sitting on it. It'll be funny. Huh? Turn on the microwave when you're sitting on it. Nope. First of all, nobody touch him. We weren't going to. Nobody wants to touch him. I could barely repair him.
Seriously, he's still flimsy right here. I heard something. Can I hold him? No! I will be fine. No! Hey, Cash, from the bottom of our heart, we're not sorry at all. Dude. Just turn on the microwave. It's a stuffed animal on a stick. Okay, well, I like this stuffed animal. It's not even a full stuffed animal. It's just a head. What do you do? What do you do? Stuffed animal on a stick. What do you do? Ride him? Let me see how you ride him. Dude, let's see. Wow. Do you find joy in that? Play the music. Okay. Okay.
- Play him roaring. - It's amazing that this kid's like a millionaire. Don't touch him. I'm not going to. - Specifically you. - Okay. - Can I touch him? - I wouldn't. - I'll be so gentle with Gerald. - No, please. - Can I just touch his nose? - What happened? - I wanna apologize. - What happened over there? - No, no! - Harper, you about got smacked. - I'll keep him safe. - No, seriously, just stop touching him, guys. - Okay, I won't touch him. Only turn on the microwave for 10 minutes.
See if the microwave warms up your booty. Yeah. Huh? See, it's like a seat warmer in a car. Turn it on. The microwave? Yeah, maybe we could replace seat warmers and just have microwaves under our chairs. Hit the green one. Add 30 seconds. Yeah, hit it again. Hit it again. Hit it again. Hit it a couple times. Add 30. Keep going. Yeah. Okay, it's on. Is it on? Yeah, it's on. Something's starting to... Do you want me to keep it on? Yeah, I guess just keep it on. Okay.
Is it warming up your butt? It kind of is. My butt is getting warm. I'm not going to lie. See? We can replace things in cars with that. My butt's actually getting warm. Imagine you're driving down the road. You just want to reach under your seat, throw your hot pocket in. Open that baby back up. You got a warm butt and a hot pocket. You hungry, Jack? Yeah, I'm not hungry. Especially... Why is the... Dude, I smell something. Yo! You locked it.
- It's locked. - It's locked. - You have to press the green button to unlock it. - Oh! - Oh! - What is it? I don't smell anything. - What is this smell? How do you not smell that? - I don't need anything. - You guys put a spoon in it? - Smells like burnt electrical. - You put a spoon... Wait, how did that not catch on fire? - I don't know. - You guys tried to light my butt on fire? - You know what will catch on fire? - Liar, liar. - Pants on fire. - Yo! - What? - You let them try to light my butt on fire?
But guys, remember... We weren't really sure what would happen. No, stop remembering. You guys tried to let my butt on fire. Yes, but besides the point. Remember when. Remember when. Hey, back to this subject. Remember when we were talking about how parents lie? No. No, no, no. Remember. No. No. Are you okay? Why are you mad? Bro. Because y'all already hurt him. You literally... Like, that actually could have literally lit my butt on fire. Cash. Listen, buddy. Do you understand?
- Hey, hey, listen, calm down, calm down. - Relax, relax, and take a drink of your sippy cup and you'll be fine. - No. - Take a drink of your sippy cup. - What are you doing to my cup, Brian? - Nothing, I think it'll calm you down. It'll calm you down. It'll calm you down. Just take a drink of your sippy cup. You feel better? - Did he do something to it? - Not that I know of. - Is it a little warm?
It tastes like water. No, but guys, remember... No, no, no. I would expect this from you guys, and it's kind of funny. Don't get me wrong. But you know my butt could have caught on fire. You already... Guys, every day Cash comes to me and he talks to me about how his butt's on fire. No, not... Every day I hear about it. Yes, yes. Metaphorically. Butt. How was I supposed to know? I was supposed to know. That's it. Butt. With two T's.
This time it actually could have been on fire. It was kind of close. And I don't know how it's not on fire with a freaking spoon. I was hoping it would light on fire. I thought if you put a spoon in the microwave it would catch on fire immediately. Should we try to catch something on fire?
No, I know what to do. But not while I'm sitting on it. Where's that little phone? Remember that phone? No, no. If you put a bag of like Welch's or Goldfish, it will shrink up in the microwave and be a little mini thing. Remember like two years ago? Harper, Harper, I would, but I don't think your head will fit. No, no, a bag of chips. Wait, did you get stuck in a microwave? Is that what happened to you? A bag of chips? No, putting a Doritos chip
Package. Okay, that's just not real. No, I think it might be real. I think if you put something in the microwave, it like crumples up. No shot. I think. Not like in sugar. I'm gonna use to like, like half size. Turn that way down. Yeah. Okay, let's see. Hey, it's fine. We don't need that. No, no, we do need goldfish. We're gonna test it right now. We do goldfish. This doesn't work. Hey, can you sit on it while we do this experiment? Did you take the spoon out? No. No. Oh, it's shrinking. Oh.
Oh, it almost caught on fire. It was sparking. All right, it's done. Now let it out. Oh, stop it. That actually did almost catch on fire. Now let it out. Oh my gosh, it smells so bad. Oh, I don't want to touch that. There's one in my car out in the center console. Yep, go get it.
It's broken. Whoa! That smells so bad! I don't smell anything! Do I have cold breath? Dude, it smells... Yeah. It smells... Yeah. It smells like a burnt s'more. Dude, it literally packaged up those goldfish so nicely. It smells so bad. I literally told y'all. See, why do they make the bags so... Wait, pass it to me. Why do they make the bags so full of air and, like, scamming? This is how much goldfish you're actually getting.
I don't smell anything. Do I have COVID or something? Like what? Oh, please stay away from me. She got a vid. Wait, guys. No, you have to take the goldfish out for it to make it look better. Look at how much goldfish they sell you. This is how much you're actually getting. That smells so bad. Yeah, that smells horrible. What a scam. I still don't smell anything. You want to eat one? Yeah. That cannot be good. What are you talking about? It's a little warmed up goldfish. Never mind. There you go. I'd rather die than eat one. I'll eat one. Eat it. Now that one touched her foot. Okay, here you go.
That one and you got dude come on. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay? Oh It's a nice. It's actually very warm wait. Yeah wait eat it again I think I was in front of the camera. Well. We do I want to I want to make sure he wasn't in front every camera I was gonna go guys
I'm scared. Wait, why do I have this? Y'all want me to put this in the microwave? Put it in the microwave. Hey, Alex is saying that those explode. Again, don't watch this episode with your parents and certainly don't do this because if your parents think this is a bad idea. Don't tell your parents. Don't do this in front of your parents. And also, try this at home, but not in front of your parents. Don't try it. Don't try it. Don't try this at home. Don't try it at home. Try it at your ex's house. Yep, right before you break the screen after. Um,
I think should we get like maybe like a wait you get some cheating you take their phone you say what are these messages put phone in microwave Okay Will this explode or no? Put it in a microwave. No, but what if it actually like explode explode? It's not gonna explode We got a fire extinguisher somewhere, right?
We have a micro fire extinguisher. Our fire extinguisher is like this big. Extremely dangerous. Do not attempt under any circumstances to put a phone in the microwave.
- What the fuck? - Nah, I'm fully about it. That's what this says. - Just do it. - Wait, watch the video. - No, no, no, you're good. I just looked at a little thing. You're good, throw it in there. - I don't believe Maverick at all. - No, no, no, we're fine. - I heard him on the video for two seconds. Yeah, we're good, we're good. - Yeah, but I've played that video. - I heard "Hide Me Legal and Dangerous" gets off the video. - Hey, open, dude, I'm gonna come over there and do it if you don't do it. Okay, it's the best idea. Slide that thing in there. - Do it. - I wish we had that toy phone. - Fine, you know what? - I think we threw it away. - Let's do it, throw it in the microwave.
Wait, but should I run away? Huh? Should I go? No, no, no. Cash is going to sit on it. Yes, actually, no. Come over here. No, Cash is not. She is going into my quest. No, stay over here. Pop that baby in there. Wait, hold on. That's my phone. Oh, don't put your phone in there. I almost put my phone in there. All right, ready?
Oh my gosh! It really will explode, I just- Yeah yeah yeah! Go ahead and- Let's go! Wait, look, look, look! Watch, watch! No no no, we're about to watch it live! Cash, it's going to explode! Kate! Wait, let me see it! Please be quiet! Please! Please! Stop! Oh my goodness. Wait, fast forward. No, just wait, I literally just watched it explode. The microwave didn't explode? No! Yeah, that's fine! Watch, just wait, it's about to happen. Kate, we're not watching that, we're about to watch it- That?
She's so embarrassing turn up and start that thing gosh, okay? Okay? Here we go I'm leaving test a launching in five four three two one Oh
I don't think that phone works no more. I don't think it'll work no more. That phone is not working no more. No, no, it's like a Nokia. Should we turn it back on? Turn it back on. Finish that thing. Where's the fire extinguisher? Okay, calm down. I have a built-in fire extinguisher. I feel like it's going to hit me. I feel like it's going to hit me. It's lighting up. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
It was actually on fire. It's still on fire. Oh my goodness. Keep it going. Keep it going. Let it cook. Let him cook. Don't let it cook no more. Let him cook. No, just kill me. Yes. Bro, this is the most entertaining thing we've ever done on the podcast. Please, let it keep going. Let it keep going. It's okay. Burn it. Burn it. No, we lit it on fire enough.
What? Let's continue the episode. This is part of the episode. What do you mean? We lit it on fire. It's not going to do anything else. No, what if it explodes? It smells so bad. I'm not going to lie. It smells like burnt chemicals, acid, battery. Please just keep it going. It smells bad in here, and my butt is getting warmer every time I sit on this thing, man. It's fine. It's fine. It's not like the actual microwave is going to explode. It smells horrid. It smells great. Then turn it back on. Turn it on. It smells like a candle.
It smells like the opposite of a candle. It smells like victory. It smells like victory. What do you mean we just did, bro? You really think we're done? You really think that that cooked? Does it look like the phone is... I turned it back on. Dude, I want to see what happens. Is there crazy damage going to happen? I feel like I should have eye protection. You think? I don't know. You think it's going to just get engulfed in flames in a minute?
Wait, dude, what if it did get engulfed in flames? That'd be hilarious. Dude, look, I see it smoking now. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Come on. That's all it's going to do, dog. Okay. Dinner's ready. Harper, come eat. Harper still wants us to go. She's like, go more. I know. I keep hoping it's just going to blow up. All right, all right, come back. Let's finish the episode, guys. Let's finish it with you on the seat, Wally.
What the? Yeah, just leave it going for a while. All right, come on, Kate. You're safe, Kate. No, no, no. What if we're not safe? Guys, also- Kate, I hope you realize, I hope you realize, Kate, just how unsafe you feel right now. That's how he felt. As he was brutally attacked. And you didn't stop it. You didn't even say, Cash, they're hurting Gerald. Nothing. Just let him get beat for no reason.
Okay. You know, standing by and witnessing it and saying nothing is just as bad as doing it. Speak up to bully. Oh, yep. Speak up. Speaking of bullying, guys, take a look at Kate.
Are we not going to give her a round of applause for not wearing a blanket and sweatpants and a hoodie? Oh, wow. She actually got dressed today. Snap applause. I get dressed like 50% of the time. Harper. Harper. Harper, Kate got dressed today. No, I'm not snapping until you light that phone on fire. That's the kind of energy I like. Yeah, exactly. All right, you know what? I think we should light a phone on fire. Give me your phone.
No, the one in the microwave. Before you came up here, we were talking about things our parents lied to us about. Oh, yeah, our parents did lie to us about something. What? Oh, they said they love Maverick. My parents lied to me. Yeah, Gerald said he loved you. That was a lie. Good thing I didn't ask him. Okay, that's not very nice. He said you interpreted it wrong. Wait, Loki. I don't think I interpreted this wrong.
Please save me cash was holding me hostage put me out of my misery. That's how it is Yeah, he did the help sign. Why is it my whatever that was doing? Explode with you on it Yeah, I would never do that yeah
But if it did, you'd just blast off. If you did, if it did, you'd go into the ceiling and fall back down. Wouldn't that be so weird? You guys are wondering why they call it a mic. Pretend you got blasted off. Me? I want to see, like, a reenactment. I got it. Just like that. Probably how it happened. Actually, maybe more like... Probably like that. So why didn't you at least jump? I hope someone makes a meme out of that. Why didn't you at least jump? A jump? I don't need to jump if I'm blasting off. Please Photoshop him into, like, some crazy stuff. Do you think when the astronauts are in the rocket and they're about to blast off, they jump? No, they're definitely like this. They're definitely like...
Like what that what they say anyway have we ever showed Kate's vertical? Yes, we have we do it do it. Let's see that vert show me your vert came on vert Show me vertical go ahead. I do it. I'll do it. Well. You're not gonna be laughed at no Okay, you won't be laughed at just maybe shamed Remember keep you gotta keep your knees straight once you jump jump no no but like with all your might I
Like, like, jump high. Here's a normal vert. An average human. Well, I mean, not probably above average human, but anyways. All right, you go. That wasn't bad. He, like, looks like he's floating. I know. I feel like I'm floating. That feels like a blast off to me. Try it again. I want to see. Harper. Hey, wait, wait, you do it. You do it. Go. There's goldfish on the floor. Show us your vert. Why would you do that? That couldn't be bad. No, you know what? Justice for Gerald. Yeah.
Give me Gerald. No, but that wasn't bad, right? No, it was pretty good. Except for the part where you fell. Yeah, you couldn't stick to it. That was highly embarrassing. Yeah, I would hate to be you. Give me Gerald. What were y'all talking about when I was gone? You were crying. Talking about how we lie to our parents and our parents lie to us. And don't lie to your parents. Unless it benefits you. No. No, no, no. Don't do that. Financially, relationshiply, or any other way.
- Especially if it'll increase your vertical. - I'm like, what? - Harper, have you ever lied to your parents? - Yes. - Okay, obviously, that was a rhetorical question. - Yeah, so what about, say something your parents don't know.
What's a lie that you could like tell on here or you could expose on here that like you lied to your parents about before? I can't expose this one lie. It's a green paper lie. It was in sixth grade. Something happened and I promised my parents that when I was 18 years old, I would tell them. Okay, say it here and we'll bleep it out if you want to. I can't. I literally, it's not even bad. We're not going to tell your parents. No, it's not even bad. It's just like something in my mind that I kept a promise to myself forever and I haven't told anybody. But you're going to tell us. No. What? No, I can't. I know you would tell me if there was like a $500 Sephora card in front of you.
Would you do it for a Sephora gift card? It's a promise I made since it's great. But would you do it for a Sephora gift card? No, it's been three years. For $500 Sephora gift card? No. Would you do it for a pink Bronco? Yes. Okay, so she has a price limit. Yes. To her morals. Like seriously, like there's nothing, like it's not even a bad thing. I'll get you a pink Bronco. Actually? Actually. For real, for real. First show me it. For real, for real.
First show me. He's just gonna Google it, Pink Bronco. What? I'll get you Pink Bronco. I actually saw Pink Bronco on Facebook Market. I'm trying to think the worst lie I ever told my parents. The worst lie I think I told my parents was... Yeah, that was pretty bad. But I think I already told that one here. Let's see. I feel like the worst lie I ever told my parents was... That you didn't like me. Actually, I know the worst lie my parents ever told me is that I was their kid.
What? You want it? Yeah. I'll give it to you. No. Let me see it. That ain't no pink Bronco. That's a pink Bronco. That's a Lego pink Bronco. No, it's a pink Bronco. That's more like a miniature little toy car pink Bronco. No, it's real. It's a real pink Bronco. Yeah, you know, one time me and my parents actually had a conversation on if I was their kid or not.
What? Because Maverick convinced me I was adopted. Wait, can I just see that dinosaur? You didn't tell me that. Yes, you knew that. Dude, I'm sweating from sitting on this microwave, by the way. Dude, I am such a good gaslighter. That's insane. What? You knew this. Maverick is. He takes pride in it. Dude, yeah, Kinsey the other day, I lied to her about something, and she was just like, Kinsey's Matt's giffing. Yeah, she said something, and I was like, yeah, no. And then I just went with it, and then I was like, no, obviously not. When was the last time y'all hung out?
Yesterday. Not a lie. Joke. Yesterday? I thought she lived in Missouri. He does. He drives down there every weekend. She lives in like Waco. No, sorry. Waco, not Missouri. Waco. Waco, Texas. Wait, so what did you joke with Kinsey about? I don't even remember. Stop crushing that up. It was something not that important. It was like, I don't know. And you lied.
And then I was like, did you really believe that? That's crazy. Wow. What a good gaslighter. I'm just a great gaslighter. All the time. On FaceTime, she didn't know about that. I'm trying to think, bro. Do you guys not have any other lies you remember telling your parents? What do you mean she didn't look like that? On FaceTime, she didn't. Wait, what? What are you trying to say? Oh, I... Wait, wait, hold on. We got two conversations going on again. We gotta pick one. She did not look like that on FaceTime. What are you trying to... You think that's not her? No, she's more blonde. What? Oh, oh, oh, oh.
You guys know that song? No. Oh, no. You don't know that song? Oh, no. No, okay. No, that's not. He just wanted to get. You just want the Maverick is so good at singing comments. What? Yeah, Maverick's fishing right now for comments. Fishing? No, he said, let me cast my reel for Maverick is so good at fishing comments. Cash is clearly jealous you guys have never complimented singing. Oh, they will compliment my singing right now. Oh, let's hear it.
If I let go, don't start singing. She gonna move to LA. No, no. If I sang on here, I'd let go. In fact, I would go so hard on the microphone. Why you do it? Can you sing like... Did you not get it? I just rhymed. Oh, yeah. That was great. So sing a song. I would rhyme, but my big thing is I think we're running out of time. Wow, no one saw that coming. I didn't. I was like, what's he gonna say? I was like, what's the next line gonna be? I would rhyme,
is i'm gonna have time the camera say do i have a double chin i say no that might have been a lie i don't think that rhymes with time oh okay let's see what else might have been a crime wait let's see what else let's see what else i don't think you're very good i don't think you're very fine harper after the episode she says thanks for having me goodbye very quickly doesn't hang out with us won't even tell me good night
She teleports out of here. She's so quick with it. No, just wait till I get my money right and buy the Apple teleport machine. What the? Do you have a new phone case every time you come over? I know. That one's kind of cool though. Wait, I actually want to sing. Oh, you do it. And don't rap. What type of song do I sing a lot?
Sing your freaking... I don't know. The other day, I heard you actually sing good. And what was that? What the? No, what was that song? That was a genuine compliment. Yeah, he was such a jerk to me, dude. We're singing on the microphone trying to make a song. We've been singing there all day. For years, actually. Yeah, years we've been singing on this studio. It's actually on the other side of this wall. I'm saying a story.
Was about to tell you tell them how bad you are That was so important no, I actually heard um I I was actually giving you a taste of your own medicine I always hear gash's voice and then one time chase turned off the auto-tune and he was like, uh
Oh, Harper, Honey Boo Boo, we've all heard Queen B. No, what I heard. Literally what I heard. Turn off the tune, Claire. First of all, I want everyone to know who was like, Harper's song has so much attitude. He set it up.
I never claimed to be a mixer master producer cash said Harper you can sing good, but I'm gonna make you a rapper I didn't choose that you did choose that are you wait? Why do we have to put on a tune on it? She's too nice to tell you I don't want no no it's our song she could have been like hey Let me see without on soon. We turned it off that wasn't gonna happen. Oh
Really? We had to crank that baby to 101. Didn't even know it went that high. Cash just didn't want to be the only one on the song with auto-tune. Fine, we'll have a sing-off, Harper. Go. Oh, this is not good. Oh, God. Okay, guys. We sing Queen B. This is like... You go then. I feel like we're in Pitch Perfect. Queen B, you start it out, so you start. Okay, okay, okay. I sound the exact same.
- When I sing it. - Okay. - So it starts off like Piper. - Piper Rock, Calvary. - No, no, it starts off Piper. I didn't want to write this song about you, but this one was easy. It really came from the heart. - Stop, don't cough on her. - She has contamination OCD, don't do that. - With all that said and done, I really hope you enjoyed this song. And if you don't, I honestly don't care.
Well my part was kind of like a chant like supposed to sound auto-tune II like it was supposed to sound like a robot Like this there's a new queen No, no, you're like I saw you knowing you know
He tried so many times. He's like, there's a new queen. Shut up. You guys are probably right. So finally Chase was like, I think you should just stay one note. You guys want to hear a song? So Cash was just like, fine. There's a new queen bee. There's a new queen bee. Here's a song we're going to be dropping soon. My vocals. Are you actually dropping a song? No shot. This is going to get copyrighted. You play that.
What, by ourselves? The beat. Oh. Yeah, yeah. The beat's gonna get copyrighted. Okay, here we go, here we go. I just have to play it. Wait, is that?
- Okay, okay, yeah. That should be copyrighted. - Wait, play my part, play my part. - Oh, we're totally getting shot. - Oh, she's on that? - Hey, wait, wait, wait, let me say something. If that gets copyrighted and there's just a cut in the episode, we just played a song and it got copyrighted so we had to cut the episode. You can do that on YouTube. If you get a copyright strike, yeah, so we're safe. - Play my part. - You're on that song? - Well, you didn't want to sing on the mic very long so I didn't get to keep your part. - Oh, so he deleted you. - Can y'all just do a riff off? - Yeah, like Pitch Perfect style. - Yeah, Pitch Perfect style. - We'll clap for y'all.
You first. Wait. Oh, no. Wait, that was kind of good. Why do you always say that to me, bro? Stop saying that. No, because I think I hear you try so many different things on the mic. Oh, no. 95% of the things that they try don't sound great. What the? You got to. No. Y'all should see Kate on the microphone. Y'all should see Kate on the microphone.
on the mic. Y'all doing so much shade over there. I'm glad I'm over here. This is getting crazy. When you sing good, you sing good, but you guys spend so much time. Like what you just did, that was good. But you guys spend a lot of time. I was good. You thought that was good? No, y'all spend so much time.
Hey, stop bullying each other. You like that? You like that? Oh, no. You like that? No. Come on. No, I don't like it anymore. Tell me how great I am. Oh, no. Come on. Come on. Oh, no. Okay, the comments. The comments are. Glory, glory. Okay, stop. Please stop. No, because I hear you in the studio. No, what encouragement. Oh, no.
Please nobody encourage him. It's so bad. Listen, y'all try something. Let me open for today. Take this music and use it. Let it take you away. Let me open. Okay, I guess he hit that note, but like not in a good way. Yeah, he hit it like he punched you. Do the, do the, do the. My name is Roger.
I don't know that. I know that. Yeah. My name is Regina George from One Direction. Is that it? No, it's her name. Maybe it's the way she walks. That song? That's the face it makes. Right into my heart and stole it. Through the door and past the guns. No, they always make the face. Just like she already wanted. And I said, can you take it back to me?
She said never in your wildest dreams. And we danced all night. Best song ever. She knew every line. Now I can't remember how it goes. But I know that I'll want to next time. And I said eh, eh, eh. Oh, I think it went oh, oh.
Oh
Let's see. Yeah, everybody put your earplugs in. Ready? Ready? Here we go. Wait, actually, do you want us to? Probably, for your own sake. All right, ready, guys? I'm going to sing now. Here we go. I'll sing our new song that's coming out. I'm so sorry, everyone. This is our new song that will be coming out in the near future. All right, ready? Oh, no. Wait, wait, wait. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Is that good?
Listen, well that will the comments will decide they're gonna judge you so hardcore so oh That was not good. Hey, I thought it was pretty good In the moment like
Can you stop recording me, please, Harper? I'm not recording you. Yeah, give me your phone. Okay, I'll take your phone. Okay, fine. And the cash is, okay, I'll take my hairbrush. Wait, wait, wait, let me see. I'll do selfie, I'll do selfie.
I just need a good song. That's literally all I need. Bro, let's sing a song. Well, recommend one. Like Taylor Swift probably is all I got. Oh, you know that song where it's like
Was it over? You sing that song. Do, do, merrily we fall out. He likes that song. That song's hard. That song's hard. Actually, Patrick does sing that all the time. Out of line, out of line. I'll fall anywhere with you. I'm by your side. Singing in the rain. Wait, what's it? What?
- ♪ Seeing that ♪ - ♪ Something mel- ♪ - ♪ Living ♪ - All I know is this. - ♪ Maybe we fall out of line ♪ ♪ Out of line ♪ ♪ I fall anywhere with you and bang ♪ - Okay, okay, that's enough. - Okay, right, look. - ♪ Living ♪ - ♪ I'm not going back ♪ - I don't wanna be here anymore. - Please save me. - No, no, sing. Sing, what's it called? - Please save me. - Sing, I'm trying to think. - Getting out of here. - My ears are bleeding. - Sing. - ♪ I lose control ♪ - No.
When you're not you and me I don't know why it's so funny when he like tries It's not that funny Harper Yeah
- Even he's laughing at you, bro. - Just go, just go. ♪ And the lady I used to have ♪ - Okay. - Just sing, ♪ Back in the Stone Age ♪ - I think Gerald's hurting. - Control! - This episode was so good. And it's just a straight disaster now. - It's going so bad. ♪ Back in the Stone Age ♪ ♪ Me and my lady ♪ ♪ Used to eat humans for fun ♪ Wait, why would you?
I just needed to prove that that was not Gerald singing. No, Gerald is singing. Hold on, are you ready? Wait. See? Hey, hey, hey. You've lost everybody else. Please save us. Please save us. Please save me. Rapture me. Up to heaven. Right now. I can't take this anymore.
This earth is horrible. Please get me out of here. Amen. Hey, they have. They're all gone. Whole audience? Come on. Cash, you've been doing it. Please stop. You stop. And you stop. I think you've actually been doing it. Ah!
Conchop! You smashed that. Yeah, I know. You know what? I'll actually try to sing on this podcast one day, and when I do, and when I do...
I'm gonna think of a song for the next episode that I can actually sing and you all will be amazed You just sing it and yeah me like me Harper. We don't sound good. Yeah, we don't really care, but we don't care Just we just sing a song bro. I did I literally just you sounded bad. I really tried to sing I literally tried to sing with him and y'all just hated on me. Hey, well
I- this episode was- it was a good episode. It was a good episode. And if y'all are still watching, don't you have something better to do? Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry y'all watched this.