Giving Kate Sabrina Carpenter Tickets!
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- We're doing Secret Santa. - Kate, I'm just trying to be nicer to you. - Okay. - So I got you something to repair our damaged relationship a little. - What is it? What is it? - Shut up.

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How much were they? Price doesn't matter. What matters is the thought. Whatever you got me is worth it. It's okay. What do you mean? Are you trying to take my gift? Give me my gift! Gosh, because your breath stinks sometimes. All I want for Christmas is litmus grins to jump through that hole in the wall. Here we go. So guys, welcome back to our Christmas episode. We wish you

Merry Christmas! We wish you a Merry Christmas! Yeah, we wish you a Merry Christmas. I'm gonna sign up the audience. I would just like to say something. Now that we are all in our own gay apparel. What? What?

I feel like I'm in a crowd of girls. Mav, can you beatbox for us so we can rap a Christmas song? Get it? Because he said gay apparel? He thinks it's funny? That's real funny, Mav. Moving on. Look at what you're wearing, Tess. You're wearing something. I'm wearing something lit, man. Is it litmus up in here? Yeah. I'm the litmus grinch. Dude, you ain't a litmus grinch. You are. A what? A jitmus cringe.

Oh. Yeah, whatever that means. At some point during this episode, I will serenade you guys with We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Don't you worry. No, please don't. Please don't serenade us, actually, with that. We wish you a merry Christmas. Oh, my gosh. All right, well, I mean... What do y'all want for Christmas? There could be multiple things. What? No, listen. Without Crash's face, maybe? I'd like to just start with something. Um, Harper...

I'm really mad right now. What's going on? Don't say any names. No, we can't talk about that, Mav. Why not? You know we can't talk about that. So why are you bringing it up? We can't talk about it. You can't talk about that. Well, I'm sick of people coming up. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop it. You can't talk about that, Harper. You can't talk about that. Speak your mind. No. Okay. No. I'm sick of people calling me Harper. You're going to get yelled at now and then I'll get yelled at later. So it's just not. You won't get yelled at by my mom. Can you see?

Huh? Barely. Like, does that thing block your face? Oh, he's got a pain in his face. I feel kind of like, is Flynn Rider, doesn't he have hair in his face? You know, surprisingly, this is one of the most... I don't know what Flynn Rider looks like. You look like Jimmy Neutron. Oh. This is one of the most comfortable chairs that I've ever sat in. And I

- It's not even capping. - How is it staying up? - Ever set in period or ever set in on the pod? - I mean, maybe period. - Wow. - 'Cause this thing has, I mean, it's aired up under my buttocks. So it's like, depending on where I'm going, the air just flows around with it. - That dog is stretched out right now. Like the latex on that dog's body is running thin. - I'm so mad.

And we can talk about it after the episode. I really don't understand why we can't vaguely talk about it. Then the video's going to get more and more views. Harper, you've got to stop making videos with people. That's it. You've got to start barking at them. Sue him! Sue him! Sue him! Hey, I actually have something I was meaning to bring up on our next podcast episode. What? What's up?

The state of the economy? No. We were, Cash and I were in the car the other day, and we're talking about our future house and, like, things we want to have when we build our future house. What? Am I at your future house? Absolutely not. Oh. So, actually, that is not where I was going. Oh, I know where this story's going. This is bullcrap. No, so I open up, so we're talking about something, and he's like, oh, I have a note on my phone. Open it up. Wait, I'm not at the house?

No. So he's like, open up the note and add that to the list. And I was like, why? And he's like, well, we're going to forget little details like that if we don't write them down. So I was like, okay. So I opened up his notes app and there is only one thing he has on his list. No, that's capped. There was multiple things. That was just the number one. What's on the list? That was just the number one thing. The number one thing. Is it a secret gaming room? No, the number one thing Cash wants in his future house is...

And he unironically put this, like, he was not trying to be funny. I just caught him, looked through his nose. Did she catch you laughing? It was a... Wait, wait. Who got you smiling like that? Yeah, why are you smiling like that? Because it's queasy. Yeah, I got her smiling like that. You know what I'm saying? That's got nobody smiling, actually. That's why everybody's laughing. So, anyways. Wait, I want everyone to guess what my number one thing is. Yeah. Matt, do you think it's a secret gaming room?

It's a secret something. I think it's a secret. No, it doesn't have to be a secret. It's just when me and Kate built a house one day, what do you think my number one? A jacuzzi. You know what? That was on the list. I was also going to guess that, but let me guess something else. It's not something you already have. No. It's something with me. I know what it is. I would actually go so far to tell you, I would genuinely...

Give you guys a million dollars if you could guess it. No one- Shake on it! Shake on it? I mean, no one's guessing this, Cal. A hundred dollars. Fuck. No, you don't owe him anything. He said he'd just give it to you. I know, but he's not gonna give me a million dollars. I want him to shake my hand for something, so... Oh, God. Smart. One hundred dollars. Did you tell him? And he has gloves on. Did you read my notes? No. How would I get in your phone? I don't know. I'm just making sure I don't lose a hundred dollars, okay? We should have shake on it. What kind of... Okay, look at my feet.

Is it like a little built-in thing for your snacks by your bedside table wrong, but that was a great Boxing ring no No, do you want to know cash is number one request for his future house wait? I want to guess let me think for a second It involves the bathroom

A big toilet. Oh, separate toilets. No. And a locked door so Katie can't watch you. I mean, no, but that's good. Okay, just tell me. Wait, is it like a TV in the bathroom? That's good. Man, we gotta have more of these conversations before I build. A bidet. Oh, heck no. Heck, heck no. No, Cash is- I will not use that. His number one request for our future house is that the toilets have to have extremely deep bowls.

That is the number one thing he wants. Oh, so does it splash on you? Yeah, when you're peeing as a man, specifically, it just flashbacks. It just hits you. Splashback, I mean. Splashback or the splashback. When you're peeing in a shallow toilet bowl, man, it splashes back. When you're peeing in a deep toilet bowl, it don't splash back. Why wouldn't you just add in a urinal?

That is a great idea. That's what I'm saying. A urinal? Yeah. Then you just pee on the floor half the time. What? No. Wait, you don't do that? No. What? You pee on a urinal? No. In a urinal? Well, some urinals go- In a urinal? Did you guys know that? What? That some urinals go all the way to the floor?

I bet you guys didn't know that. I've seen that. You can like step in there. Some urinals, they start up here and they're like four or five feet long and you pee on the floor. Are those like considered nice urinals? I mean, they're at like Brahms. Brahms does have them sometimes. And they go all the way to the floor. Oh, that's gross. And you pee pretty much in the floor. I think it has something to do with gravity and the physics of like...

The arc of the stream. You're basically just peeing on the wall. Yeah, there's like no splash if you have a low impact on the wall. If you go straight at the wall, it would be bad. You can tell a man's intelligence just by walking in the bathroom, apparently, because when they can't pee in a circle, they have to pee on the wall. Horrible, honestly. Oh, oh, when we were in Vegas? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

You look like a gorilla, though. Like, you really did. When me and Mav went to Vegas last month, I accidentally, I was on my phone trying to get my bank to send me more money when I'm in the casino. Did you just hear Mavericks laugh? And I was so distracted. He did?

I was distracted on my phone trying to cash out more money to gamble. I was just walking and I had to go use the bathroom. And I walk in the bathroom and I'm just texting. And then a female walks by me. And I was like, ah! And then she was like, ah! And I was like, we were all looking around. And I was like, ah! We both thought we were in the wrong restroom. Turns out I was in the wrong restroom. Ah!

Is this a real story? I say that. Yes. I say that. Probably just got a serious gambling problem. Why have you not said this already? I don't know. I blanked out. Probably because then after that I went to go gamble. But no, I say that because man, that restroom was nice and smelled good.

Very much nicer than Meg's restroom. There's so many stalls you wouldn't believe. Stall, stall, stall, stall, stall, stall, stall, stall. There's no urinals? There was none. Wow. Not even one. How do you pee? Not even what? The world may never know. How do you voice? I mean, do you never sit down to pee? Well, this guy does because he's weird. What? We've talked about this. Do we really want to go over this again? To be fair, we don't have deep toilet bowls. So, I mean, kind of understandable. But if we had a deep toilet bowl, you could stand like a man. Oh, imagine a urinal.

Oh my gosh. Have you ever walked in on him sitting down while peeing? No. Huh? No. I asked if she's ever walked in on you sitting down while you pee. Oh, wow. I mean, you wouldn't really know if they're just like...

do one or the other and she like goes over there and like looks in a bowl which would be kind of weird can we move topics you gotta get more comfortable with these conversations no no no okay we're very open never walk into the room when he's peeing oh not me have you ever farted in front of him no not yet wait have i what are you kidding me

Don't make stuff up. She smells so bad. Okay, he's making stuff up. KZ, I don't care what you think. When you're sleeping, sometimes they slip and he's hurting. No, he's...

That's bull crap. Y'all are married. If you don't think he's heard you fart at least one time, that's crazy. Attention renters. If you haven't heard of built, you're going to love this. Built makes it possible to earn points on your rent. No need to get your landlord involved. Just pay through built and you'll start racking up points you can use for flights, hotel stays, fitness classes, or even your next rent payment. Here's how it works.

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Why not start earning points on your rent that you're already paying by going to join bill.com slash LOL podcast. That's J O I N B I L T.com slash LOL podcast. Make sure to use our URL. So they know that we sent you. I'll be honest. I don't think I have him for it.

Yes, the other day. I think that was the first time. What? I'm sorry. Did you guys just not fart? Well, you definitely fart a lot more than normal. I understand that, but she's really gassy too. And I thought this was a normal thing. Y'all both got some issues. Yo, it's something with what y'all eating or something. Yeah, I thought that was normal. I don't know how because I low-key literally just eat like chicken. I know how because you save all yours for night. In the day, she's silent. At night, she becomes a machine gun, man. Sounds like a war zone in there. Sometimes I see flashbangs. It's so powerful. Ha!

Guys, I think we're good. He deleted it. Yay. He's a really nice guy because honestly, he didn't need to delete that. Did you threaten him with a lawyer? Maybe. Oh my goodness. That's how you do it. Put him in the group chat with the attorney. Cash is literally like diabolical. What is that definition?

Actually, diabolical means from Satan. What? What? I don't think so. Y'all were all out about definition. You know what you look like right now? No, no, no. You look like one of those old men who's trying to look cool during a Christmas parade and they're like on their bike, you know? You do look like you want to be cool, but you're not litmus, man. I'm the definition of litmus. Let's- Harper. Yeah? Why are you on your phone the whole time? I'm sorry. I was dealing with something and I know I shouldn't be on my phone, but

I just choked up on my spit. I, um, I just, I needed to be on my phone just for- Your socks match me. We hear you. And they have my initials on it. KB. Mine too! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. One for me and one for you. Y'all have the same initials. I have HZ.

That's a cool initial. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Sounds like Hazard. Guys, I don't know if we've ever talked about this. You know what's weird? Okay, fine. No, let her go. She wants to interrupt me. My initials are H-A-Z. Haz-erd. Ooh. Hazard. Anyways. Mav? Sorry. So it's H-A-Z and you just added erd? Hazard.

No, it's Haz. H-A-Z. Haz. Haz. So my middle name is Anne. So Haz. You should move it everything around. Hint to Haz. That's why it's Haz and not Z. Haz. Matt, what were you going to say? Let's just go eight and a eight. I was going to say, once upon a time, Kinsey found a dead body. I love stories. What? Yeah. That's not where I thought that was going. Are you kidding? You found a dead body?

Well, I didn't find it. Were you with Logan? She created a dead body. I did not create the dead body. I saw the body alive and then I saw the body dead. Human. We're not talking about no raccoon here. Oh, yeah. I also saw my dog's body alive and then dead. Not Stella. Don't worry. Wait, I've seen that too. I've seen my grandma. Then I didn't see my grandma. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about guts all over the road. What?

You saw them alive? Is this the episode to talk about this? Yeah, man, this is Holly and Jolly. Merry Christmas! So maybe we should save that for, like, I don't know, a Halloween episode. Not the candy cane! You saw guts all over the house. Guys!

My Halloween decorations are always so bad. Or my Christmas decorations are always so bad. It's okay. Like, I want y'all to know. I'm sorry. Christmas on the LOL Podcast set is a lot more lower budget than the rest of the house. Yeah. If you saw the rest of our house, you'd be surprised. I feel like it's a pretty high budget. No. I mean, that's

I mean, that's like our set of TV. This is my budget. I mean, we're in a multi-million dollar studio here, man. Yeah, this is our multi-million dollar podcast. People think we're in a house. This isn't just a house. Oh, my gosh. It's a studio to look like a house. No. Did you send Matt that video? Yeah, I did. Oh, my gosh. Okay. I am livid. Really? I thought I laughed. I thought it was so funny. No, I was actually wheezing. My brother told me that he heard this podcast episode where these other podcasters were talking about the LOL podcast and saying horrible things. What?

Oh, calm down. Hold her back. Hold her back. Yeah. But you know what that podcast... Who? In the top two. Who was talking bad about us? I literally don't even know the name of the podcast. No, they weren't talking bad. I'm confused. No, don't say the name of the podcast. They'll get views. They weren't talking bad. I don't talk about you. No, dude. They'll get views. They weren't talking bad.

I'm so confused. Yes, they most certainly were. Yeah, the one definitely was. What do you mean? He was dogging on us. What did he say? He wasn't being nice. Did he say anything about me? Yes, he did. He was implying. Yes, he did. Okay, what's his name? He said you're an industry plant, actually, which is kind of a good thing. What does that mean? He's pretty much calling us all freaks for doing a podcast with you. He pretty much said it's kind of weird. There's a bunch of 20-year-olds. Okay, I don't disagree.

Disagree, but at the same time... No, I... No, but you know what? One of these people on this podcast or whatever said about us, they were like, I think it's so funny that it's so clearly they're in a multi-million dollar studio or something and they're acting like it's just a house. Bro! I was like, you want me to step into my bedroom right now? I will literally, like, I would do anything. Yeah, okay, I get that. I would do anything to not be in our house right now.

No, no, no. I understood where he was. The guy was like, oh, I feel a little let down, you know, because like, well, he thought we were just all some high schoolers that like all made it big. Just talking about high school stuff on a podcast. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that'd be cool. That'd be cool. But no, that's not necessarily the case. And then he said you had like 10 million followers and you basically created cash. What? Maybe I did create them. I was, I was making music before you were born.

I thought that part was really funny. No, I just, I was really taken back by the comment about how we're doing this out of studio because we're not. Okay, well, I'm confused. If those podcasters are watching this, I'm deeply sorry. That's what y'all got? I thought it was all hilarious. No, we were laughing actually very hard. But next time, say something nice about us too. They literally did. They said, well, their podcast is way more popular than ours. Thanks, guys. I forgive you guys. You guys are welcome in our studio anytime. The one

guy uh what was his name ludwig he was funny because he was like his name ashley ludwig yeah yeah because the other dude was like he was like well their content's just kind of like i don't know whatever i can't i don't even know what the word he was saying it was like similar brain he didn't say that but it was something like that yeah he's like well the other guy goes well

Your content's like... You know? He's like, well, yeah, but like... No, he's like, yeah. Well, anyway, speaking of our podcast being popular, you know, by popular opinion. Subject. Yeah, we officially were Spotify's 10th biggest podcast in 2024. Let's go. Woo!

So that's pretty big news. But if you guys haven't already, go follow us on Spotify, LOL Podcast. Boost our ratings. You guys, we once were second in the whole country. We were. We want to be number one. Overall for the year, we were 10th. What is that supposed to mean? That's kind of crazy. For the whole year, we were the 10th most popular podcast on Spotify. For the year. Not for the month or the day. We were above Emma Chamberlain. So for 2025. Yo!

I knew that would make her excited. We were above Logan Paul. We were above so many. Logan Paul? Yeah. Fell off, man. Talk to us. Oh, yeah. Not even up there. We were above talk to us. Oh, yeah. Talk to us today. But I say that because, guys, 2025.

Let's become number one. So if you guys have it, go follow us on Spotify. Not to be sappy or anything, but it is Christmas. Thank you, guys. That's the best gift you could have given us. That's all I want for Christmas is to be number one. And all we actually want is for our New York show to sell out. All I wanted for Christmas was to be number one on Spotify, but I guess number 10 will do. All I want for Christmas is Litmus Grinch to jump through that hole in the wall. Litmus Grinch can do anything. Can he jump through the hole in the wall? Yes, he can. The pressure on that dog.

Jump not just I bet nobody ever said that before um anyways I'm gonna jump through the wall now That probably has never been said before let me see if there's things on the other side of this wall. No you're good No, why is there a ball pit on the other side of this wall? Don't worry about it! Anna's covered in peanut butter I'm not even Calvin there is a ball pit on the other side of this wall now. I have to jump in Hey Pepe are you there?

He's there. Pepe? He's there. Can you make sure there's nothing sharp in there? Like I'm not going to kill myself. Guys, Cash stepped on like a shard of glass the other day and it was like this long in his foot. I swear Cash has a crush on Pete. Oh man, it's deflating. Don't worry, we have two more dogs for you. We have two more dogs. Okay. Why would they make his midsection underneath lighter?

Like, that's real life, but I don't like that. Oh, that does not look right. I don't like that at all. Looks like some pinto beans just on his stomach. My Christmas decorations. I think it's a girl. Bro, I'm really hoping when I said that you were just going to turn around and jump through. Like, this is so much slower. Yeah, this isn't as high. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Yeah, we do. We wish you a Merry Christmas. Yeah, we do. And a Happy New Year. Yeah, we do. And a tidy.

Bro, you dance better than that Australian girl in the Olympics. I told you guys I'd serenade you with We Wish You a Merry Christmas this episode. I'm going to hit him until he finds out. Hey, Matt, let's show them our trick. Oh, let's do it. Ready? Oh, no. Check this out. Oh, no. You're going to be out of view. He's going to go straight into the camera. You're going to be out of view. All right, let's go.

Do y'all think you would ever see, like, did you ever think you'd see a candy cane man holding the Grinch like this? Oh, I know. I know he stubbed his toe. I do that all the time with my friends. Oh my gosh, Harper. If she does this.

That was pretty good. I got it, I got it, I got it. Oh no. Let me do it for him. I could throw you harder. Hard, Mav. If they can both do it, I've got to go again. He rolled an ankle. I watched that roll. Lit Miss Grinch is no longer lit. You want to try again? Yeah, let's try again. Oh, did you hear that thud? Cash, can you get out of the way? We're trying to do something. Yeah, I see that. Did you hear that thud?

Come on. Get up. The green hair all over is insane. Oh my goodness. You got socks. She does. If you had like shoes or no socks, you'd be fine. She's basically so tall.

saying it or not, when Matt made me do it 18 million times. Ugh. Ready? I would not stand for that. Cash, you throw her. Let Miss Grinch and Harper. You okay? Who you got? Oh. Oh, no. What was that? Haz versus Grinch. Haz versus LG. Alright, I'm gonna jump through this wall now. Alright, let's see it quickly. Ready? Here we go. Then I wanna get some actual substance. Alright. Actually jump.

Don't just crawl. Just dive. It's not intimidating! No it's not, it's just a hole. Just do it! You came out of one, go back in one. Do you want me to jump through it? Cash, thank you. You came out of a hole much smaller than that. What did it say? Just jump through that, it's much bigger, you're good. Never. Alright, here we go! Stop! You actually have to jump through it. He just had his head just straight in. Literally our house foundation is shaking when he does that. Dive through it, dive through it. Oh!

I'm too big, my shoulders don't fit! Yeah, you gotta turn sideways. Now look! No, you're gonna have to turn sideways. Turn sideways! I can't jump sideways! Yes you can! The patron in his voice just goes to: "I can't!" Come on, yeah, you just dive through sideways, you're fine. Dude, y'all are destroying my Christmas decorations. I worked so hard for this. Cash, I thought you were an athletic Grinch. I am. Okay. Oh shoot, dude, put that back on before they see who you are. Nobody look. Nobody look.

No, you should sit down. You gotta stand there, man. What, are you standing behind me, man? No. No. Don't ask me that. No.

- We have candy cane. - What? - Yo. - Now actually, I'm not doing that after that. - What? - Just dive through, dude. - When can we give our gifts? - Thus, Candyman jumped through it. - Bro, I'm just a candy cane. - Yeah, you're skinny like a candy cane. - Just a little candy. - Can we move on? - Yeah. - Yeah, right after Matt jumps through it. - I don't think his cane is getting through that. - Yeah, I won't fit. Look at my head. - You can take that off. - Can you go through it? - No, seriously, you gotta do it. - Just try. - No, I'm okay.

Matt, you can easily jump through that. Why won't you jump through it? Because I'm wide-shouldered. No, because he's a scaredy cat. I'm big-boned. Matt, sit down. Frick yeah, Matt. Let's go. Okay, here we go. If he jumps through it, you jump through it. I have been nominated because Cash thought... Hey, man. If you jump through it, I'll spank you.

Cash, you can't say things like that. This is... No, I'm letting this drench. I can say whatever I want. No, no, no. You got it. You got it. He spilled my Red Bull everywhere. Where? That's what I spelled. There on the ground. No, his Red Bull was spilled. Let me scrimp your star. Matt, go ahead. You're not going to spank me, though. Cash?

Okay, I won't spank you! This is a kids show. Geez, I won't spank you. I can't really see where I'm running. He just misses the hole. Yeah, go straight into the wall. Let me at least get this out of the way. Mav, don't hurt yourself, please. Gosh! Oh, that was not a jump. Yes, it was. Well, I was way more than you did. Are you okay? Okay, well, I can do that. He didn't jump, he paused. Oh my gosh. He paused. Can we not- Mav, move out of the way. Nobody can-

- I'm gonna see you guys drop a hole in the wall. - With or with you in there? - Yeah, you're right, I shouldn't do it. - We have way better things planned for you guys and not this the whole time. - Harper, you crushed your gift. - Oh my gosh, what? - It's underneath the... - Who crushed it? - Oh my gosh, the drywall is shaking. - I told you. - That was messed up. - That was because you did. - Did you seriously just push a can of candy in there? - Are you okay?

Stay back. Ow. He got hurt by an inflatable dog. Cash. I'll suplex you. Give me the dog. No. Kinsey, this is when fights start. Just let it go. Just let it go. Give me the dog now. A fight will start if we don't stop it. You wouldn't hit a woman. Stay in front of me, babe. Cash. Yes. I need you to agree that you will not get him back for that.

We'll try again later. He can't pick up things with his gloves. Well? What? This is ridiculous. I don't understand. What?

Dude. Every time he gets up and sits down, the butt like slightly in place. His chain got stuck. His chain got stuck.

Are you zipping in on this? Alright! That's as funny for y'all as it was for us. Sorry, there's hair in my mouth. Alright. Can we move on? Hey, are we doing Secret Santa in this episode? Well, I was gonna... Your mask is on the wrong way. What? Your head is on the wrong way. Okay.

What do you mean? It's backwards. You got the head through the wrong hole. That's the neck hole. What are y'all talking about? Your head is in the neck hole. It's fine. You look great. You're still litmus. That's all that matters, man. No. Well. Okay. Harper, what's in the bag?

Oh, wait. Wait, we gotta explain what we were doing. Oh, we're doing Secret Santa. We drew names to get each other gifts before the podcast last week, and now we all have gifts. And we do not know who got whose stuff. Hint the name Secret Santa.

That is why it is a secret. Why don't we know who got whose stuff? Well, you don't know. You know you got me, but we don't know who got you. You don't know who got you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh my gosh, wait, actually. How did you know that Harper got you? Because she just said it. Wait, Harper got...

She got me? Yeah. Oh, I didn't hear that. Really? Give me that. You just said that. She just said that. Oh, my gosh. Dude. This dog deflated. He's stealing Christmas. Can you please open? Oh, I wouldn't do that. Oh, my gosh. It's a little weird. There you go. When he deflates, man, he's harder to sit on. All the mics. Hey! Oh, my gosh. Paul.

Dude, that thing is leaking some air out the back end. That's crazy. Dude, he's gassy now. There's a lot of air coming out of that thing. We don't have to work anymore. That was Stella's favorite friend. Actually, that was Shaniqua Dawn Peepon. Shaniqua Dawn Peepon. That's what I named her. How'd you come up with that name? Because of her polka dots. Oh my gosh. That's not coming into your house.

Merry Christmas! My gift! Way better man! This one doesn't make your fall. Alright, what was that one's name? I'll save it for if you start having trouble. Yeah.

Teddy. All right. So, that one's Daddy over there. Daddy or Teddy? Either one. Oh, okay. Use your imagination. Okay, open it. Game over. So, here's Harper's gift that she got me for Secret Santa. Yes, and this gift, it took me a while to get, so. All right, let's see what I got. Okay. Okay, what if it was fragile? Oh, he needs it. Deodorant? Well, there's something else I see there, too. I don't use deodorant. I don't need that.

It's mine! Here's Teodorant. He will keep this. What is it? My mom got that for some reason. I don't know why. A sloth popper? It's the one that poops. Oh, he poops? Oh, sloth pooper! Oh my god, he's so hype now. Oh, he poops candy! Look at the next one, the aquaforming. Oh, that's litmus, man. I don't use Febreze either.

Okay, that's junk why you need it or deodorant Merry Christmas math. Oh, I can't see up here one more day for Big lips aqua for yeah, it's for your big ol lips. What is aqua for it makes it smaller? No, it makes them not on Christy You what is it do? Yes, it's chapstick. Oh

What? I got you chaps again for a reason. A bunch of items that help you with better hygiene. Cash. What? Why don't you just say thank you and then give your gift to whoever you got a gift for. I said thank you to your mom for giving me the pooper candy. That's what you liked the most out of that? I think you could like some of the other stuff. Have you tried deodorant? Huh? You should really try to use it. You should really try deodorant.

Harper, did you know? I'm sorry, yes. I'm sorry. No, no, no, you're fine. But did you know that the boys didn't use deodorant before? Yeah. Like, they didn't believe in it. They thought it was fake. I still don't believe it. It is still fake. That's disgusting. I stand by that. No, but now they're forced to use it. I don't need medicine. I don't get that. It's not medicine. Cash, your turn's over, hon. Give your gift to the next person. Listen, your lips just be looking mad crusty, all right? She's just trying to help out Kate.

I'll give you the Apple Vision Pro I got you. That's what I'm talking about. That's litmus. The what? Apple Vision Pro I got him. Apple Visual Pro. Well, where is it? It's coming tomorrow. All right. What did you get? Oh, is it my turn? Yeah, no, you give your gift to whoever you bought a gift for. Oh, I bought a gift for... Who are you? Oh, Kenzie. No. What? I'm a good gift giver. Every year people say, Cash, you're the best giver.

No they don't. Yeah, go ahead and just give your gift to her. You're not the best giver, you're just the gift that keeps giving. Was that gold? No, here we go. All that back there! I don't even know if I want to open this actually. I know Kate wrapped that. False! Not false! 50% true. Um, this is my gift to Kenzie that I bought. Well, made.

What? Oh my goodness. That's so sentimental. Yes. I made this gift. It is handcrafted. Okay. And I hope you know that this means a lot. Everyone on here always likes to look at me as a laughing stock. But today, I changed that. Nobody does that. Nobody laughs at you. They laugh at you. That's exactly my point. Today, I changed that to show you guys I'm a good gift giver. And every gift begins with a C. So, here you go. That is just not the same. Okay.

Can I guess what it is? Is it an empty box? You are never going to guess. Just like deep toilet bowl. A picture of you? Is it really a picture of you? No. It's more than that. Well, just open it now. Why is this so difficult to unwrap? Oh my gosh. You opened like my grandma on Christmas. I want to savor the moment. Save my eyes. You can rewatch it later. Just open it.

What is it? That's right, baby. I'm the best giver. What is it? Let me see. That's crazy, Cash. Let me see it. You gotta see, man. It's the coloring. That's right, baby. Here's a picture of Cash by the back door. You can color me.

Here's a picture of Cash in front of the club shoot. Oh my gosh, what? Here's a picture of Cash touching his belly button. That's my favorite one. Paint my belly button gold, please. Here's a picture of Cash holding his big toe. Wait, the last one's your favorite. Here's he's doing. Wait, wait. What do you mean not sure? Oh, I'm just doing a pose. Yeah, okay. I can't. I can't. Here's a picture of Gash, Cash holding up his skinny arm.

Here's a picture of Cash posing again. What? Here's a picture of Cash in the airport. Let me see. That one barely made the cut. Oh my god. But I thought I looked good in it, so. Here's just a picture of Cash with his thumbs up. Why are there so many? Why do you have so many pictures of yourself? Because I needed it for the books. Here's a picture of Cash in a wheelchair on his cruise. Yeah, that was where I rolled my ankle.

An empty picture. Wait, what? That was a printing error. Oh.

Yeah, that's your favorite. Here's a picture of Cash with Stella. Stella looks so good. Yep. And don't break that because we need to take pictures so we can pop it up on the screen. How on earth did you come up with that? So just set it over there. Be gentle. And he went ahead and colored the first page. Yeah. I thought a coloring book, you normally color the prequel part. That's crazy. The prequel.

like the prequel part of the page like or the the front page whatever the cover of the book this is like the best christmas ever man you're so troll yeah that's such a good gift no seriously dead serious no one destroy that i need to take pictures of it so we can pop it up on the screen okay it's crazy y'all should get these for your grandma yeah oh that is a good idea i think they low-key color it probably oh my gosh okay all right kenzie what'd you get for me

Oh, I didn't get anything for you. I got Harper a gift. Ooh! Okay, that's a scam. Because you know Harper got you a gift, and you got Kinsey a gift. Yeah. And Kinsey said she got Harper for a gift. So, Kinsey's a sugar santa. Well, all the thought for nothing. Go ahead. I'm excited. Would you expect to get a gift from Kinsey, too? Thank you. Okay, it's heavy. I'm guessing it's some sort of...

Thing? It's a thing. That is true. It is a thing. Okay, alright. Alright, you're good. Let's open it. She knows what's up. I know that Harper really, really likes the creator. Ariana Grande. You never know. She just guessed it, didn't she? Sabrina Carpenter? Wait. You just never know. I think she does know. Oh. You keep saying she may never know, but I think she does. Oh my gosh. So much. You're welcome. Wait. This is so nice. This is so nice.

I thought it was going to be like a funny gift. What is it? Love notes. Oh, you got her a love note? That's kind of weird. I never got one of those. Thank you so much, Kempi. You're welcome. Actually, that's so nice of you. That's so cute. Thank you. Oh, I want to smell it. I smelled it in the store. It smelled pretty good. Really? You don't smell your love notes? Yeah, duh. Let's smell it. Oh, my gosh. I want to smell it so bad. This is her new perfume, right? Oh, my gosh. You got me the big one. Oh, my gosh. Pink woods. Wait, let's spray it in the...

I love it. Oh my gosh. Thank you. Thank you so much. I want to smell it. You know what's crazy?

We finished each other's. You know what's crazy? She might have got you that perfume. Oh, that smells so good. But did you know that Ulta, when you buy this perfume, you get a free poker set with it. And when you spend more than $80, you also get a blanket with it. So she also got a poker set and a blanket, but I don't see that in the box. I love it, actually. Thank you so much. You're welcome. She's holding out on you. Don't you care?

What do you mean, do I care? She said with the purchase of that, she got a blanket and a poker set. She kept it for herself. If you want the poker set, you can have it. First of all, why the heck is Alta giving out a poker set? That's what I was wondering. That makes no sense. Those do smell good, though. The average girl that buys that perfume... Hey, careful, it's glass! Yeah, don't break it. Did you just throw it? Yes! Did you just throw my gift? No, I didn't throw your gift. But where is my gift? I threw it. Stop!

Grinch still your gift. Oh my gosh. I'm not gonna be able to stop smelling this. Alright. Give it back to her. Give it to me. It's my gift. Oh! That goes a lot farther than you think. Okay, here you go. That's hilarious. Wait. Oh my gosh. You should taste it. No, don't do that. It's gonna taste really gross. Alright, who's next? You want to? I did, but... Well...

Who's got me a gift? Wait, has anybody got more gifts for me? No. No, you just get one. Oh, you get one gift. That's the point of Secret Santa. Only one person gets you a gift. I don't know why the frick I'm still here, man. But who's next? Oh my gosh. I'll go. Like you're going to give a gift? Yeah, but I left it over here. Dude, he looks so weird, dude. Me too. Why did I see recoil?

Well, that was unnecessary. Kate, you've been my sister-in-law for a while. Oh, you're my secret Santa. Yeah. Obviously, if they all went, then yes, I would be the secret Santa. Even I knew that. Okay, so... Wait, who is my rich? Oh my gosh, there's only one option. Kate?

You shouldn't even have to finish high school. You should graduate now. Should we exchange gifts at the same time? Yeah, sure. Throw it to each other. I want you to open mine first because it's pretty important. You guys keep interrupting my monologue. Yeah, guys. He's trying to be sentimental here. You've been my sister for a long time. It's been a few years. Sister? Sister-in-law. Yeah. Yeah. Don't forget the even law. Sometimes it's weird you being my sister now and kissing my brother, but you know.

It happens. That's okay. Can you hurry up, please? That's all I had to say. So, yeah, here's your gift. I hope you like it. Put a lot of work into this one. Okay. Here's your gift. Not easy. This was not an easy gift to get. Okay.

To Kate. Aw, he drew little, like, stars and everything. Wow, the fact that Matt actually drew the cover of that is crazy. That is very sweet. I don't know. I'm trying to turn a page in our relationship where I just, you know, I'm always... Were you a kisser? No. Matt Harper!

- Why? - I'm sorry. - She knows how to ruin a moment, that's for sure. - We gotta cut that. - Today on Swapping Lives for 24 hours. Wait, what's that show called? - I was gonna say. - What's that TV show called? - Wife Swap. - I'm gonna try to be nicer. - I'm gonna try to be nicer. - Wait, Matt, what were you saying? I was in the middle of saying wife swap. - Why? - He's trying to be nicer. - Oh, because of the TV show? Okay, well, I'm just trying to be nicer to you. So I got you something to repair our damaged relationship a little. - I didn't know our relationship was damaged. - Oh.

That's not... You know what? It's probably my fault holding animosity then. So, uh, go ahead and open that gift. That's my apology. Okay. Come on, baby! Open that up! I feel like it's gonna be mean. It's about to be litmus in here. No, it's an apology. I like how you open cards. It's really nice and... Sentimental? Yeah. What is it? What is it? Shut up. Mav! Oh, dang! Is this real? It's real, baby! What? Yes, I did. That's actually crazy.

I was told there was a budget. Yeah. I did not get any tickets. I thought it was going to be like a gag gift. It is not. Do you love Sabrina? I mean, I think her music's pretty good. I probably would never have bought this for myself. Oh.

No, that's because they're so expensive. Yeah. So I went, actually, you know, so much fun. Yeah. So I got paid tickets either way. Hopefully you got paid. I'm kind of dying now to, uh, no, that's okay. Honestly, like we should just stop secret Santa here. Like I want secret Santa. I got some tickets. Why would we stop? Why would we stop when I have a gift? No, we,

I would like to open my gift. No, I really think we should stop here. This is like a good high note to end on. Well, I, well, I, um, no. No, let's, let's stop here. I can't wait to see what you got me for Christmas if you got her that. Uh, well, our relationship's been pretty good, so I didn't think it was going to be a good idea to fix it. How much were the puppies?

No, no, not you. Yeah, what um what what seats did you get hurt cuz I got paid tickets not to brag or anything Whatever tickets you got just trust me my tickets were better because I know a guy how much were they price tag baby price doesn't matter What matters is the thought and whatever you got seriously worth it. It's okay. What do you mean? Are you trying to take my care?

We're just gonna have to take it. We're gonna stop there. Wait, why don't you want him to have his gift? Give me my gift. I really don't think we should. Give me my gift! Is it bad? I worked hard on your gift. You should have worked hard on his, obviously. It's not like I'm expecting anything crazy, but you know, I appreciate whatever you got me. Sabrina's tour's over. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

Are you telling me that I got sold? All right, here we go. I really think we can stop here guys. I don't think, did you not get him a good gift gate? I got him a fine gift, but I was under the impression that we were getting like funny gifts. Funny gifts? Yeah. Wait, wait. Because your breath stinks sometimes. That's funny guys. I've been wanting the one with the extra fluoride, you know? That's funny guys.

Laugh. Really? That's gotta be, I mean, this is so awkward right now. He got your Sabrina Carpenter tickets and you got him a $3 bottle of mouthwash. I'm sorry, Mav. I thought we were, like, doing jokes. You know, this is, uh, Cash got her a custom coloring book and I got deodorant.

Yeah, but you also got some other good stuff. You got Febreze. I did get Pooping Candy. And Pooping Candy. That was solid. And you got a nice new whatever you call that perfume. Love Letters. Yeah, and you got Sabrina Carpenter. But you know what I got? Mav, I'm so sorry. I got the bad end of the candy cane again.

I got the freaking... Wait, are you not... To be fair... No, watch your mouth, Mav. Are you not grateful for your gift or something? Mav, I thought it was supposed to be a joke. This is key. No, I'm happy with it. I'm very happy. You can have my coloring book if you want it. No. I thought to myself... No, stop. Stop. No, I thought to myself, I thought, you know what? I'm going to turn the page and get Kate a new gift.

Like something good and not something bad. Okay. So I thought about getting you something bad. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to get you something good. Because Kate's probably going to get me something good. I was told we were doing gifts. And then I thought a little deeper. A little deeper than that. And I thought, Kate probably is going to get me something bad. So you know what? I'm not just going to get Kate something bad. I'm going to give her something that she can't just get from anything. I'm going to give her hope. Hope to see Sabrina Carpenter because that's what she wants. And then you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to rip that hope away with fake tickets.

How did you print off fake tickets? Is that even legal? They're fake? They're fake tickets because I knew you were going to scam me. You were right. Her tour is over. You were going to scam me with my gift. I knew it. So I got you fake tickets. Oh, man. Yeah. Congratulations. You're not seen, Sabrina. Well, you know what? I feel a little bit better because I was literally going to resell these tickets. Oh, what? What?

I opened them up. She bought that bag. No, I knew. I mean, Sabrina's music is very good. It's amazing. It's a little raunchy for my taste, and I probably wouldn't want to go to a concert of hers, so I was going to resell them. How? I poured my heart and my soul into that gift. And you know what, though? If it was real, you know. You didn't need to pay. You know what? I'm going to be...

I was gonna wait for this. Wait, what? But I'm gonna just go ahead. You got a second gift? No. Oh. Okay, I do have a second gift because your birthday is next week. And I was gonna give it to you on the next episode. I washed my mouth out. I'm sorry. He said, he said, I'm sorry. Okay, I'll just get it for you. Guys.

If I'm gonna be honest, I love Sabrina Carpenter with my whole entire heart. I'm working, babe. Cause I'm a singer. A singer? This is so exciting. I have another gift. I feel like I'm getting a gift, too. Well, that's bullcrap. Y'all said one gift per person. Well, that's supposed to be his birthday gift. You said one gift per person. No, that's supposed to be his birthday gift, and I felt bad about the mouthwash. My birthday's coming up. I feel bad about the mouthwash. Yeah, my birthday's coming up next year. It's my lucky day. My birthday. Okay, here we go. It's mine! Hey, maybe you should, like, rip these tickets down.

Kate, you really didn't need to give me a birthday present. Well, I knew your birthday was coming up. Of course I'm getting you a birthday present. No, I'm kind of suspicious because you don't normally give me birthday presents. I literally give you... I give you something on your birthday every year. Do you? Yes. Wait, can I see those tickets? Who provides you with... Just, like, hold on. Like, let me just, like, see those possibly. Yeah, well, they're fake. They don't hold any real value. Maverick, I'll be fake Sabrina Carpenter tickets. Those don't really work. Sometimes...

Sometimes I fantasize over, I mean, just open your gift. Okay, I'll open it. Guys, I'm going to open it. Guys, I'm going to show you a magic trick. Ready? I'm going to make a Sabrina Carper ticket disappear. Ready? Check your knee.

- What the? - No, no, no, 'cause what? - 'Cause what? - Okay. - I swear on my life I didn't see that. - You are getting so good at this magic stuff, Lit Miss. Yo, tell me how was it lit? - March 14th is my ex-friend's birthday. - Wow. - Nice. - Well, Mav, your birthday gift, it's not much, but it's better than mouthwash. And I saw it and it made me think of you and I thought you would like it.

So I grabbed it. Very much for this. All right, come on. Open this puppy up. I'm glad you at least have a real gift and not fake tickets. I'm going to open it. Careful. Oh, my gosh. Lego Batman? Yeah. Bro, you should be happy with that. I thought you would have fun building it. I saw it, and I was like, that looks like something Matt would want. I feel like y'all are really just giving us your leftover things from Operation Christmas Child today. That's funny.

No, I actually, I did see that. Yeah, that's rude. What? I actually did buy that for you. That's kind of mean, Loki. How is that mean? Because she actually thought you were going to like that. And you're just bashing her. Oh, no, I will like it. I'll put it together. I'll enjoy it. Yeah. I like to build things. I thought you'd like it. I'll build it right now. Well, there's probably too many pieces. You don't got to build it right now. No, like not right now. Not right now, please. Well, I'm glad everyone here got a gift. You should say something, Mav. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for my gift. Here's your...

Oh frick, I was supposed to get you a real gift, huh? It's okay. Next year. Uh, you can have this mouthwash. Yeah. It's not being used, I promise. It's okay. Full bottle. It's okay. I just cracked the top open. Maybe, maybe Santa will come this year and fill my stocking. Santa's coming? Yeah. I'll put a stop to that. Careful! Dude, you can't do that with a mouthwash, dude.

Dude, why don't you relax? Hey, you know what I realized today? I can do a pretty good Elmo impersonation. Wait, wait, Matt. As much as I'd love to hear that. I say we vote who got who the best gift. Okay, Kenzie got me the best gift, I would say. 100%. Facts. Kenzie got Harper the best gift. Are you kidding me? She went to a store and bought that. Did nobody see the gift I got?

No, yours was very creative. Creative? Hours. Hours of work. Actually, she went to the store and just swiped a card. Really? I will say you get the most creative gift. Because you're the only one. Okay, who's second best? Me. I really liked Harper's gift to you. Because it's like a bunch of different names. I'd really like that gift to be used in action. Live, actually. Same. Oh, the pooper scoop? No, no, no. The Febreze would be nice. The Febreze, yeah.

You know what you need, Cash? You know what you really need? You need like a little contraption like backpack thing with the Febreze thing in it on your back. And as you walk, if you accidentally fart or on purpose fart, you can just press this little button and it'll follow Febreze behind you. Oh my gosh. That'd be pretty litmus. Why haven't they made that up yet? They should. That'd be huge. Sorry, I should stop doing that. You should actually leave that like right here for later. Okay.

What kind of candy is it? Is it chocolate? No. He's eating it. It's not chocolate, Kate. No, mine is! Oh, you're right. I didn't get one. Why does this for Reese kind of stink? You can have my coloring book, Kate. That's really okay. Here he is. So, watch. He's supposed to walk on the ground and leave a trail of poop.

Oh really? Yeah. Yes, brother. Alright, let's see if this thing works. Wait, you need to put it on like a light colored surface so they can see. Dude, you made a thing fall out. Alright, here we go. I don't want to see. They're like children. That's hilarious. Is that all you got in there? He's hungry. Okay, um...

Yeah, this podcast is getting pretty boring. I say it back. That was actually a pretty good gift. Thank you. How about we talk about something with some value? Let's do a Christmas carol. Yeah, something with some value. A Christmas carol. Listen. Who's got a bad Christmas? I have a bad Christmas. Last Christmas. What? Are you kidding me? You just killed Donnie? His name is not Donnie. That was Teddy. That's right, Teddy. Teddy. You just popped him? Well...

Oh my god. There's no way there's another one. There is. His name is actually Steve. It literally hit Kenzie. Are you really gonna hit a girl? Yeah, it hit me. Are you okay? I'm fine. I'll recover. You know who had a bad Christmas? Stella's room! Did you pop it? Oh, he doesn't know. Oh, he doesn't know. Don't say it any louder now. Wait. I have another Christmas. Did you pop it? No.

No, he was alive in there! Yeah! I see you just turned him through! She's stabbing him! She stabbed him?! She stabbed him! Cash! You keep hitting me! Oh! Well, she killed me! You're alive! It's too good. You know who's not alive? The guy Matt was talking about earlier. It was quite sad. Hey! Oh my gosh, yeah! Does anybody have any more gifts before we move on? Well, I wanna see... I did see one more gift, but I wasn't sure whose it was. Let's, uh, let's open that. Where is it? I'll open it!

Oh I see it's behind Can you hand us that gift that was- That is really for Stella What gift would you like? The one that's behind the TV Oh yeah Did you snuck in everything? I'm gonna break the TV again What's that? How do you know it's yours?

What are you trying to do? It should- it should- I'm just trying to stick it in the wall. Wait! It does- that's a little awkward now. Wait, hey! Are you sure it's not for me? I didn't get a gift at all. Hey, how'd you know I had this? Because I saw it back there. I said I saw another gift on set, but I didn't know whose it was. Oh, okay. Well, this was my gift that I was saving till the end. Because- Oh, Kay never- oh wait, no she didn't. Sorry. For me? Did I? Yeah. Listen. Did I get a gift, Harper? Listen! Okay, we'll listen. I didn't- really?

I didn't think you were actually going to listen. Okay. Spotlights on me. I got a gift that's actually a good one. For me? This is outside of Secret Santa. And it's just a gift I got. And it's for all the girls. Sorry, Mav. It's for all the girls. And it's just a normal Christmas gift, but you guys have to share it. So who wants to open it? Me. Me.

Okay, wait, why don't we all open it? We can open it together. Let's go sit down on the ground and open it. No, no, just sit on the couch. Sit down on the ground like little children. No, no, sit on the couch so you have the mics. Trust me, you're going to have a lot of words to say about this and a lot of thinking of me to do. Okay, you smell so good. Alright, here's my Christmas gift to the LOL girls. Alright, are you guys ready? Ready? Cool. I mean, there's three of you guys. Come on.

All righty, here we go. Oh wait, no! Gosh, this was mine, hold on. You bought yourself a gift? Uh, yes. It's a helicopter. Wait, what is that? No, nothing. It's a drone. Here it is. Here is y'all's gift. What? It's also a raft. Okay, I'm sorry, actually, I got him confused. This was my gift from me to me. To me? Oh, that one is for me! No, it's a helicopter. No, because you got them a gift, and I'm sure you got me one. Uh,

Yes, this was totally not for me. Yeah, and I'm gonna be for real this for me. So I'm gonna keep it But that is the gift I actually meant to get you guys. Okay. Well, why is this one not wrapped? That one was wrapped. It's wrapped. Timeline wise I didn't have time. What is it? What the?

Oh my gosh. We should match. Wait. Yeah, that's the point. These are so pretty. It's matching Christmas phone cases. That's really cute, actually. Wait, can we put them on? Yep. Wait, genuinely? Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love this. All right, go ahead. Switch your phone. What the freak is that?

I think Harper has two phones. Two. That's so sweet, Cash. Thank you. Yeah, you are very welcome. I thought it was going to be a troll gift. I did too, not going to lie. Yeah, I think it was close. Why did you do that? Genuinely? Oh, I got it. Sorry, Matt. We're just all opening. I don't have anything. Sorry. No, you have a Lego set. Remember? I got you an actual gift that one time. Dude, I feel like it's Christmas morning and no one cared about me. Imagine how I felt.

with my fake Sabrina Carpenter tickets. Well, I offered you mouthwashes. Wait, this is pretty. It's so pretty. Wait, I love it. Wait, let me just try it on. Oh, sorry. That's so pretty. Everybody's having fun.

Sorry, man. I actually love it. I forgot. Guys, these are cute. I'm going to use it every day. Oh, my gosh. I love this. Hey, Pepe. What's up? I'll just play Ball Blast on my phone. No. Block Blast? Block Busters? Guys, wait. Take a good look at all of our matching phone cases.

everybody why did you do this yeah i'm very thankful for it it was really sweet so they're so cool these are very pretty i'm just going to be playing ball blast over here oh i died who plays ball blast mav you're really stealing from our moment of us all sharing anybody wants to i really this is actually because i was kind of tired of this sticky thing being on here i only want it sometimes i'm doing pretty good oh

Okay, well guys thank you so much for watching this episode. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We'll see you next litmus. Wait, smile. Alright, we'll see y'all next litmus baby. Peace out. I got mouthwashed.