Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Okay, Cash, what's your one truth and one lie? I haven't brushed my teeth in three days or four years ago I kissed Charli D'Amelio. I'm your wife. I know you brush your teeth every day I see it. Wait, so you've kissed Charli D'Amelio? Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon.
Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
a few shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more.
So, guys, I was at the trampoline park the other day, and literally, I thought I saw Cash, but... Really? Yeah, I literally thought I did, but... No, I wasn't there. You were? Nope. Well, anyways, it was a guy that looked like you, but that's besides the point. Oh, yeah. I literally...
Anyways, sorry. Cash, why are you whining? Yeah, I... Yeah, stop crying, bro. He said that I compared him to a little boy. Anyways, so there was this kid that looked exactly like Cash there, and he came up to my face, and he was also a fan. Oh. And he was like, he was like, oh my gosh, Harper, Harper. And I was like, hi, hi, hi. And he, like, pulled off my eyelashes. He did not. What? Yeah. No, no, no. You just skipped a lot. Okay. There was a fan. He grabbed my eyes. He said, hi, Harper. And then he just...
Yeeted your lash off your face? Yeah. No, no, no, no. He did not reach and grab your lash. What did you do to provoke this? I was like, what the? No, what did you do to make him grab your lash? There's definitely more to the story. No, there's no more to the story. I know there's more to the story. There's no more to the story. There is more to the story. Okay, well, there's not more to the story. He just came up to me. He grabbed my lash. I almost died. Oh, no.
You really want all attention on you at all times. Listen, guys, if I'm being honest, I'm freaking out in the cage, okay? Cash, sit. Don't tell me to sit. Sit. Don't tell me to sit. Sit. I'm not your dog. I'm not sitting. Fine. Good boy. I'll sit. I said it because I want to. Yeah. Yeah, see, I don't sit anymore. Hey, how about this? Lay down. I'm not laying down. Okay, fine. I'll lay. It's lay down. Cash. Lay down. Okay. Good boy. I'm just getting sleepy. No. I'm sleepy. You're doing as you're told. I'm your boss. Good boy, Cash. Good boy.
Good boy. No, I'm just sleepy. Cash is such a good boy. I'm literally just sleepy. No. You like to be controlled, don't you? No. You listen to your brother very well. Yeah. Who's your daddy? I do what I want. Clearly, you don't do what you want. You listen to me very well. No, see, I'll stand up right now. See that? How you like that? How about you lay down? Lay down. No, I'm not doing it this time. How about you lay down? No, I'm done. Lay down. I'm done. Nope, not doing it. Lay down. Nope.
Lay down. Okay, I'm getting sleepy again. That took some melatonin before this. Oh, are you going to pout? Are you going to have an attitude? Yeah. Turn away from us. But yeah, guys, at the trampoline park, yeah. Sorry, guys. This cage is really getting me claustrophobic. No, it's fine. I understand. But at the trampoline park, this kid just came up to me and he grabbed my lashes. He was like, mm. Oh, and I hate that for you. Oh. I just hate it for you. Yeah.
Anyways. What the? Oh, it was him. What the sigma? What was that? I don't understand TikTok now. What the sigma? Like, what is that? What the sigma? I don't understand. What the sigma?
What are the words in English for it? What the Sigma? Sigma? It's like Alpha Sigma. Oh. Like you're the Alpha, the leader. Or like Uzma. Uzma. No. I'm confused, I'm going to be honest. I don't really get it. You all know Uzma from, what's it called? Uzma? Uzma from Monsters University. Oh, no. Uzma Sigma. Lord Farquaad. Oh, Uzma Sigma? That was their frat that Mike and Sully were in was Uzma. No, it was? Alpha Sigma.
- Uzma Sigma. - Uzma Sigma. - See, cameraman's shaking his head yes. - Uzma Kappa. - Or Uzma Kappa. - Uzma Kappa. - Uzma Kappa. - There's something Kappa. - Uzma Kappa, Uzma Kappa. - Yeah. There's a guy on TikTok that will pretend to be a frat boy. He's like, "Frat boys at parties." And they'll be like, "What's your frat?" And he's like, "Uh, Uzma, Uzma." - Uzma. - Let's see, I'm gonna look it up. - It is Uzma, I'm telling you. - I feel like you're wrong. - No. - I know my monster's university. - I'm excited to start, what's it called? College. - Uzma Kappa. - But I'm not going to go to-- - Uzma, I told you.
Uzma Kappa? Uzma Kappa. Uzma Kappa. I feel like you said something different, no? I don't think so. Yeah, you did. No, he
He's a gaslighter. I told you all, Maverick is a professional gaslighter. Look at him trying to gaslight me. Kinsey, run. Run. No. As far as you can. She just thinks anytime you tell her that she's wrong, she's being gaslighted. She's terrified. I'm going to watch this footage back and prove to myself that I said Uzma the whole time. Uzma. Uzma. Kappa. Kappa. Gera. Gera. Are you going to go to sorority when you go to college? I'm not going to college. Well, like last week you said you were going to college. I like this carpet. Cash, you good?
Oh yeah, I just like the carpet. Or do you like to be controlled? Nope, just the carpet. Put your nose out of the cage. What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying to get out of here. Why did you guys like me in here in the first place, honestly? I don't even get this. Because I'm not going to put a shock collar on you. Cash, I just want to know, what happened to your body? Hold on, I think I smelled that cake we dropped you the other day. Oh.
So where's your body, Cash? What do you mean I'm right here? I can't get out of this cage you guys put me in. See, I noticed that you're a dog, though. Yeah, you don't look right. Yeah, you look a little funky. Your coloring's a little off. I know, that's gotta be racist. It's from all that tanning and sunburn. Yeah, it's from all your sunburns that you've gotten. Also, looks like your eyes got brown. You guys wanna know what happened to me? Please, tell us. You ever seen a Scooby Snack? I ate that.
And you turned into Scooby? Yeah, they said it's temporary though. Oh, so when should you be back? About seven, eight hours. Well, I hope you know you look nothing like Scooby. Well, you know, we could have rescheduled the shoot if you would have just told us the situation. No, it's fine. It's fine. I think this is my good side anyway. You guys want a Scooby snack? Hey, stop looking at my girl. Yeah, Cash. I'm over here. I'm over here. I just like the t-shirt. You haven't looked at your wife one time. Well, I would, but the candy candy. Cash, over here.
Cash, stop staring at her. I'm not staring. I just got something in my eye. You're actually scaring everyone in the house. I just got something in my eye. Cash, tell me how you really feel about me. I just have something in my eye, guys, okay? And if I look the other way, the wind, the fan, it hurts my eye. So I got to stay looking this way. Really? Yep. Well, stop it. I can't. Cash, look over here. No, I can't look over there. I wish I could, but I can't. Over here. Look at your girl. Look at your wife. I really wish I could, but I can't.
Hey baby Hey, how's it going? Hey, doing good. Give me a kiss. No, give me a kiss on the lips. Give me a kiss on the lips I won't be doing that. No, kiss my lips. Come on. Give me a little french kiss. Give me a little kiss on the lips Give him a little french kiss. Yeah, come on. Come on, baby. Oh, come on, baby. Oh, oh, yeah Oh, oh, yeah. Ew Cash has parasites on his lips. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
I actually saw them, the red little things, like there's red things called parasites. Yeah. I saw those on him. Guys, I feel kind of bad. Should we let Cash out? Yeah. Yes. Yes, you should. Please let me out. I don't think so. I was kidding. It was just a joke. But Cash looks like he's freaking out a little. I am. I'm glad you noticed, Harper. I mean, we should probably keep him in there. Hey, guys. I got something to tell y'all. What? You guys want me to tell you? Yeah. You sure? Yes. Okay.
- That's not really me! - What the heck? - That's not really me! - Wow! - Wow! - Wow! - Wait, so if you're here, who's in there? - Oh, that's my dog. - You don't like dogs. - It's not my dog. - You actually talk every day about how you never want to get a dog in your life ever. - No, I like dogs. Look, I'll show you, it's my dog. Hold this. Hey doggy, remember me? - Oh no.
It's already bad. It's already bad. She's going straight. Guys, this is not actually TV, Cash. I hate how he ripped his pants. Or when you think his legs were long enough. Out of curiosity, Kenzie, do you think my dog would bite me if I got in there? No, it seems like a kind dog. You think this dog's kind? Yeah. I thought it would bite. Do you think it's ever bitten anyone before? No. Positively, no. Okay.
Get in there. 100%, she's more likely to scratch your sunburn. Oh, that's awesome. She's like a sweet dog. If you want to make sure you don't get bit, you should go in there natural. Take the shirt off. She'll trust you more. She'll trust you more. I sit down. What's your dog's name? Hold on. This is crazy.
Be careful. That costs money. Okay, sit down. Sit down. We need to get in the cage now. We need to get in the cage to prove that we like each other. Bro, you're weird getting in cages with dogs. Yep. He's angry. No. What was that? Mute that. And we're back. Because of something Harper said. All right. All right. You're sitting kind of in the middle, taking up the whole space, doggy.
Probably. Yeah. Hey, doggy. You're taking up the whole space, dude. No. If you sit crisscross applesauce, she'll cuddle with you. Big. Yeah. Okay. Go on. That's what I always wanted. To sit crisscross applesauce and cuddle with the dog. I'll give you the mic through the hole once you sit. She does not want to share right now. Share. Oh, yeah. Oh, she's cuddling you, bud.
Her legs are busted. Be careful. She's breakable. She's breakable. So cute. They're besties. You're not a lap dog, bro. Oh, no. She's going to try and jump. She's going to try and jump. Close the top.
No, her head. You're just a big old lap dog. Aren't you? Yep, we're in here together. Me and you. Just me and you. Cute. Okay. Just two dogs in a cage. Two wild animals in a cage. Two wild beasts.
Oh my goodness. Now that we're in the... Her stomach is kind of scaring me. I feel like she's going to pee on me. I hope she does. I really hope she don't pee on me. Her tail's like sticking out. What's going on? She's so chilling now. Yeah, you a chill dog, huh? Hey, you know, we were supposed to play a game on this episode. Well, I have a question. What? Cash, what's the name of your dog? I don't know.
- Put that one next to Maverick's squeal. - Oh no, you're on me. - Yeah, that was girly. - Hey, sorry, I don't like dogs licking me, okay? I'm happy that your face is that way. Keep your face that way. - Well, this is where all the action is. - I'll keep my face over here. - Wait, so what's your dog's name? - Oh, my dog's name? - Yeah. - Tank. - Okay. - Tank? - Oh, they call it. See if it looks at you. - Tank! Tank! Hey, Tank!
Yeah, it ain't looking at you. That's crazy. You named a girl Tank. Oh, hey, Tank. I don't know what I heard, but I think I just heard Stella. No, no, dog's name is Tank. Not Stella? Nope. Let's test the theory. Tank, Stella. She's confused. She has identity issues sometimes. Ready, ready, ready. Tank.
Oh, well, in German, Stella's also known as Tanks. Oh, well. So. Okay. And she's a German short hair, I think. Is she a German bulldog? She knows German. Yeah, so she knows the German language. Does she like pretzels? Platz.
pretzels pretzels pretzels are germans pretzels aren't german yeah they are are pretzels german wetzel's pretzels are german and annie's pretzels kate's saying pretzels are german they are aren't they auntie aunt well cash what was the game you had in mind oh i didn't have a game you guys don't play game yeah yeah my game is truth and a lie oh fantastic i
What the? I know Barry. We were supposed to come up with these before the episode, huh? Very original. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did that for sure. Matt, you start. No, I'm going to go last. Okay, Kate, you start. Okay, we'll let Tank start. Okay, ready? One, two, one, two. You're not doing a voice for the dog right now. Hold on. Hold on one second. Okay, here we go. One, two, one, two. Okay, Tank, you're going to tell your truth in a lie now, okay? Okay.
One time? One time I had a crush on a- okay. On a cat. Okay. Please, please stop. Please stop. Please stop, okay. No, you're good. You're good here. You're good here. I got you. No, I got you. You're safe. Oh, that's a toy now. Oh, that's now a toy. Help me, Casey. Help me. Get your dog. Get your dog under control. He's gonna bite me. He's gonna bite me. He's gonna bite me.
You move the mic, because that's not going to be good for later. Please, I'm sorry, please don't move. I'm scared. I'm actually scared. I want out. Oh, I want out. I want out. I can't tell if that's you or the dog talking. I want out. I want out. I want out.
Guys can you please let us out? Please let us out. I think I should rescue the dog. You can stay in, the dog stays out. I feel like she's gonna panic and bite me. I better let the dog out. Yeah we should- Okay wait no she's good now, she's good now. Wait she's good, she's good. She's good? Yeah she's good. I think we should get her out. Okay, okay get her out. Yeah she's kinda stressed. Go baby! Hi Stella! You're gonna go put her not here right? Sit, lay down, sit. No she's okay. She'll stay.
I like the way Cash's dog listens to Kinsey much better. We need to get you a shock collar or something. She's exploding. I told you that dog's wild. It got rabies. No, it don't. Lay down. She's so sweet. That dog got something wrong in its noggin.
I think that you got something wrong. No, stay. Lay down. The dog is mentally unstable. Okay, we're playing two truths and a lie. No, one truth and a lie. One truth and a lie. Yeah. And Kate, you're first. Okay. My one truth or lie is I do have this. The dog goes to time out. Okay. My one truth and one lie. I sucked my thumb until I was 11 years old.
That's highly embarrassing. That's highly true. And then my middle name is from my grandmother. Oh, shoot.
Oh, no. Really? Y'all really think that one of those is... They're very comparable? I'm going to be honest. I'm married to you, and I'm kind of confused. What do you think? Honestly, I think the truth is you sucked your thumb until you were 11, and you... The lie is... Yeah, your grandma's name. Kate Marie Baker. Yeah, my middle... I'm saying my middle name came from my grandma. Yeah, I'm going with the truth. This is a thumb sucker. Uh-huh. You a thumb sucker? Wow, I can't believe y'all think that of me.
Mav, what's truth, what's lie? What do you think? I think... There's two options, bud. You're a little sumthucker. A sumthucker? That's all three, thumbsucker. A sumthucker? Well, I want to hear what Kinsey thinks before I come in here. Wait, dog's still here? Yeah, dog's good. Oh, you put the obedient collar on it. Hey, she don't get shocked. She just gets a little ring. That dog is crazy. I'm telling you, look at it. It doesn't know how to act like a normal dog.
Mav, you gotta do the jumps. You gotta show how high she can jump. Yeah, lay down. She'll jump out of frame. I don't think we have a toy. Oh. There you go. No shot that dog stays there for more than 10 seconds. Which one do you think is the truth and the lie? Okay, well, one of them was Thumbsucker and the other one was... She sucked her thumb until she was 11 or her middle name is from her grandma.
Which one's true yeah, your middle name's from your grandma is true Wow you're taking the other I was everyone else said I was a thumb sucker. Oh, what is it? I was I knew it I knew she was a thumbs up. You just tell by the way her teeth grew in what you just tell like what actually that is so true Yeah, what I see for Sigma
My teeth were so messed up and like I couldn't like literally my parents tried everything to get me to stop sucking my thumb, but I just couldn't. And the only way I stopped was when I got braces. It was like uncomfortable. So that's when I finally stopped. Yeah. If you suck your thumb long enough, your teeth, your teeth grow weird. Yeah. And my teeth were definitely growing weird. That's why I got braces. That explains you, bro. Were you a thumb sucker? Oh, he had to have braces so bad.
For like 10 years he had them. They were on me so long that they stained my teeth forever. Was that because you didn't brush your teeth? Probably because you didn't brush your teeth. We don't really know the cause. When did you get them put on? They were on for like 5 years. I had my braces on for...
How much mom? I think the most you're supposed to have mom on is like three. I had a mom for a year and a half. Yeah, I had mine for two. Yeah, I had mine for like a year and a half, like whatever. Yeah, the issue was I never wore my bands. So I never got them off. And I still never fixed my underbite because I didn't wear my bands enough. Did you have bands? Yes. You did? Oh. And I have an overjet.
An overjet? You mean an overbite? No, no, no. It's where my front two teeth go overjet. Yeah, it's an overbite. Yeah, that happens. Yeah. Okay, Cash, what's your one truth and one lie? My one truth and one lie is I haven't brushed my teeth in three days. Or... How do you like your husband? I'm sorry. Hey, that could be a lie. That could be the lie. The background was like, well, that's the truth. Yeah, what the...
Now you got me not one fish. Okay, so... No, you might as well don't. That's the truth. Whatever you're about to say next is the lie. I haven't brushed my teeth in three days. Or... I haven't brushed my teeth in four days. To think one of those is true is really... It's concerning. Which one's it gonna be? Four days is the truth. Four days. If you didn't brush your teeth for three days, what's one more day? That's what I'm saying. I might try for five tomorrow. Oh, God. No, no, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. The actual truth and lie is... I haven't brushed my teeth in three days. Or...
uh four years ago i kissed charlie d'amelio four years ago i know the answer to this one all right what's the lie i'm going last oh um i'm saying the lie is you i mean i'm your wife i know you brush your teeth every day i see it oh that's good yeah she genuinely didn't think you brushed your teeth yeah what the heck harper actually wait so you've kissed charlie d'amelio
Well, we don't know. I haven't said yet. Yeah. What do you think? The truth is you kissed Charlie D'Amelio, I guess. Whatever. It's cool, I guess. Okay. Kinsey? I'm going to go with that, too. I heard you've kissed quite a few people. Whoa, whoa. It's like 34 or something. 34. 34. You've really been talking. Run your mouth on Taint. The whole town. Taint says sorry. Unfortunately, I do know the truth. And you did kiss Charlie D'Amelio. On the lips? Yeah, that's the truth. I was there.
No, he was not. Okay. I think it should be my turn. Lay down. One truth and one lie. My first one is Cash kissed Charli D'Amelio. No, you definitely did kiss Charli D'Amelio, though. That's insane. When? Wait, why is that insane?
That someone would kiss him? No, that Charlie D'Amelio kissed Cash. So you're basically, whenever you kiss Cash. I know, it's crazy. He went that low. It's just wild. What? What were you going to say, Harper? So basically, when you kiss Cash, you're kissing Charlie D'Amelio. Does the renegade ever rub off on you? Cash, Harper, the truth is he tried. He got rejected. I did. So I had to kiss Dixie. Okay. No, no. The truth is actually, it's a joke.
What's a joke? What do you mean? It's a lie? I never kissed Charli D'Amelio. And you never brush your teeth? And you never brush your teeth? Yeah, they're both a lie. I don't think you understand the game. What do you mean? It's one truth, one lie. Or I can say two lies and y'all gotta guess a lie if they're both lies.
No, that wasn't an option. No, that wasn't the game. Harper, what's your one truth and one lie? I'm going to go again. I'm going to go again if that's not the game. Hey, sit down. Wait, I want to play the game right. Sit. I want to play the game right. You don't want to play the game right. I do. My turn or the highway. So wait, are you doing one truth and one lie? Yes, and we have to guess the lie. So no matter what, you have to tell one truth and one lie? Yes. Yes.
Okay, that would have been good to clarify. We said we're playing one truth and one lie. No, it's a truth and a lie. So all you gotta do is guess if it's a true or a lie. But I could say two truths and you gotta guess which one's a truth or a lie. And if you guess a lie, you're still wrong. So he's confused. Okay. Alright, please go, Harper. So my first thing is when I was in Costa Rica, I got stung by 18 jellyfish on one leg. 18? That's already specific. Lie. Yeah, lie. Okay. Or...
Or when I was like eight years old, I took a lighter to my face and it accidentally like curled. That's true. I don't even know where this is going, but you definitely did. And it accidentally like fired off all my lashes. Oh, like singed your eyelashes? True. I had a friend who did that. Yeah. Really? This is common. Wow. Hmm.
We should do a poll. How many of you guys have sinned your eyelashes? Don't try, actually. It was kind of satisfying, but it burned my eyes so bad it hurt. Okay. So I think that that's the truth. Yeah, the eyelashes is the truth. Actually,
It was the Costa Rica one. I got stung by 18 jellyfish. How do you know it was 18? What were you counting? At one, at two, at three, at four. No, there was, by the end of the day, there was a bunch of different red dots on my leg and it was only on both thighs right here. Oh, so you counted the dots? Yeah. So you had 18 stings. Sure it wasn't a skeeter bite? Well, it's Costa Rica. They don't got those. Skeeter bite. Costa Rica, they got a lot of mosquitoes.
I don't know. I've never been. No. Can you tell us? Oh, yeah. I've been to Costa Rica many times, and I love Costa Rica. You got like a freaking, what's that called, a timeshare or something? No. I feel like she's been to Costa Rica once. I've been two times. Twice. Okay. And it's just the best place ever. The second time wasn't the best, but I rode horses, I played games, I sat down at the fire with my family, and I went.
a good time i'm so glad yeah all right kenshi truth and a lie or lie lie truth or truth just do one truth and one rules have changed now no it's still one truth one lie he's confused okay let's think through because i told maverick mine right before this and he said they were dumb so a little lame no but it's okay so i'm gonna rethink them real quick oh you're still what are you doing
I'm just moving up. Just be more even. More in the conversation. You know what I'm saying? While she's thinking, I'm going to go ahead and go. Let's see. Make it good, Matt. Make it good. Okay. I'm trying to think of something. It wasn't good, the one you were about to say? I had to clarify for you to make it good? No, it's good. I really wanted to do one that you wouldn't believe. That's kind of the whole point of the game. You know everything about me.
Okay. Two truths and a lie. We'll do a... Oh my gosh, bro. Spit it out. I've shot an elk. You shot an elk? Have eaten sand at Santa Monica. Well, that's the lie. What do you mean? I know. I know this. So I feel like I shouldn't be able to play. The truth is you shot... I also know this.
Yeah, the truth is you shot an elk. Everyone here knows. What? Everyone knows? Yes. You talk about it. What is it? You shot an elk. You ate sand is the truth. No, you ate sand is the lie. Looks like there's some controversy. No, no. Wait. No, he shot an elk. No, I ate sand at Santa Monica. Yes. Maddox would never eat sand. Yes, and he shot an elk, but he didn't kill it, and he was highly disappointed in himself. Yes, exactly. Okay, when you say I shot an elk, that makes me think that you actually shot an elk. Well, I did shoot one. He's a bad shot.
You shot it or you shot over it? Well, I shot it. Um...
It was a good hit, too. There's a small gap between the lungs and the spine. Can you please point out on Tank where you shot the elk? No, don't do that. I need you to stand up. Why is Tank's eyes are just closed? Yo, Tank's going to sleep. I told you. I gave the dog melatonin earlier. Well, dang, I thought that was a good one.
came at mine i'm gonna go ahead and say mine well kinsey's is gonna be harder because none of us really know her very well okay so no matter what she says is a better one me and kinsey go way back actually no you don't no back to last like wednesday okay kinsey your truth and a lie okay
- Uh, the first one. - Lie. - Gaslighter, I told you. - She doesn't even know what gaslighting is. - Yeah, I think you're misusing this word a lot. - Well, you know what? Maybe that wasn't a gaslight, but you give off very big gaslighter energy with the way you try to control people's conversations. - You have big gaslighter energy. - Hey, sit down. - What the? - I don't really sit down 'cause I can't stand up. - Continue, Kenzie. - I've never seen
The Harry potty. Harry potty? I've never seen a Harry potty either. What is a Harry potty? A Harry potty? A Harry potty. A Harry potty. Oh, that's nasty. I've actually seen a Harry potty. Oh, yeah. No, ladies. You guys ever see hair all over the potty? That's a Harry potty. No. No. Hey, you want to make it a haircut in here or something? It's always like a McDonald's bathroom, too. Oh. Oh.
Yeah, McDonald's definitely has some Harry Potties and Arby's. Arby's gives off Harry Potter, Harry Potter vibes to me. Arby's gives off meat that when you cut into it, blood starts pouring out with hair. Harper, do you like Arby's? Like to eat there? I don't. I've actually never ate there before. What? I've eaten there once. You shut up. Yeah. I haven't eaten there, but I've smelled it before. Oh, they got the best curly fries. They do have some good food. It's like hot. What? Their chicken tendies are fire.
Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ain't no way you just said that. They're chicken tendies? Ain't no way he just said that. What's wrong with saying chicken tendies? Yo. Yo. Chicken tendies are fun.
Their chickentendies are fine. You got high estrogen, bro. What? What the heck? Hey, it's okay. I have high testosterone. Did you know that about me? Yeah. Hey, we're saving that for another episode. Oh, yeah. Mom, that's what Cash said. First off, there's nothing wrong with saying chickentendies. That's actually a huge... I would argue a whole book of stuff wrong with saying chickentendies. As a man. As a man. Give me one thing wrong with saying chickentendies. Okay, I'll give you a visual. Just look at me when I say it. Ready? Ready?
I got chicken tendies. That literally, I feel like you said that. That literally sounded so normal. That's wrong. That's wrong. Now, Harper, you say it. I got chicken tendies. See, that sounds normal. But she said it with the freaking cadence in her voice. I got chicken tendies. No, no, fine. Oh, mom, can you give me some chicken tendies? Yeah, that sounds normal. Can I have some chicken tendies? Man, I can't say chicken tendies. Chicken tendies?
What else can't you say? There's no way you're standing by this right now. Yeah, I am. I don't feel like there's anything wrong saying chicken tendies. It's just kind of like, like, it's like what a baby would say. I think I normally say chicken tenders. And since I said tendies, you guys all freaked out. No, because no man has ever said tendies. What? Unless you're like a four-year-old boy. There's literally a guy who sings a song called Chicken Tendies. Hey, next time we're ordering at a restaurant. Are you sure? It's Chicken Tendies. Next time we're ordering at a restaurant, can you say that to the waiter? I want,
I want it to be a man writer too. I almost certainly will. Be like, hey, Matt, what do you want? And he'll be like, I want you to look at him down the eye and be like, no, not funny like that. It is Chicken Tindies. That's the song. Hey, look, a man sings a song called Chicken Tindies. I bet it's a funny song. No, it's not a funny song. No, it's actually, it was pretty good. What's this man look like? I don't know. Does he look like Maverick? I don't know. It's me. It's my song. Does he look like he has high estrogen? No. What's high estrogen? I don't know. It's a female hormone, Harper.
It's not a female hormone. You know that, right? So you have high estrogen? You know men have estrogen too. Yes, I did know that.
Let me see. I have estrogen? Yeah, you have estrogen. Oh, man. That kind of looks like Mav. What? Can we get our estrogen tested and see who has higher estrogen? Dude, I'm down. It's Mav. I already know. What? I'm sorry. I already know. Oh, no. You're going to have higher estrogen. It's going to be so funny. Yeah, when they poke him with the needle to test us, he's going to be like, eee. And they're going to be like, oh, we don't even need that. We don't even need to sit at all. Is it that you have higher estrogen or less testosterone? Ooh. Oh, frick. Oh, yeah. We're going to have to do some math here now. No, no, no. What are you doing?
I might do that, but you know what he's going to do? Oh my gosh. Wait, guys. Today, would he sell blood? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get a big deal. Cash literally... I just think it's so funny. Can you reenact it? Yeah. So I'm sitting in the chair like this. Stand up when you do his part. I'm playing both parts. This is a one-woman show right now. I'm getting my arm poked and I'm looking at Cash. Cash says...
You're out of frame for sure. Just pick it up, take it with you. Oh, you're right. How do I do that? No, just pick up the whole thing. How do you pick it up? You just pick it up. I don't think you can be seen in frame right there. You're really ruining the story here. You're just so bad at acting. It's insane. Okay, how about you just sit in the chair and do both parts? Y'all just told me to stand up. But now you're out of frame, I'm pretty sure. Just sit back down, sweetheart. You're embarrassing yourself.
Well, y'all should have been more clear on what you wanted. Yeah, do that. So I was getting my arm poked and I'm looking at Cash and Cash is like, you can't look at it. You can't look at it. And I was like, no, I'm going to get dizzy because I know I'm going to get dizzy. I can admit it. And he was like, you know, it's all in your head, right? I was like, okay, whatever. And then...
Guess who starts to get dizzy and nauseous when I'm getting my blood drawn. Did he have to go get chicken tendies after? It wasn't me and it wasn't the doctor. Listen, listen, I didn't eat that morning. I had nothing on my stomach. I was getting weak. So what did he do? You did need chicken tendies. He started kind of like...
funny and moving funny and he was trying to keep himself moving and I was like what are you doing bro like calm down and then he starts squatting down and I was like stand up what is your problem and we both have a chair okay you had a chair I didn't have a chair well you were
drawn yeah nobody cared about me in the room nothing was going on with you yes but i was dizzy and nauseous i just wanted to be known that i also just had right before i got my blood drawn in the other room i had a very like invasive little procedure they did and i was in pain invasive how they went up her nose oh no no it wasn't my nose no what it was another what does yeah moving on okay anyways wait
I feel bad. Kenzie didn't finish her truth in a lie. Oh, yeah. Well, we got off topic to cash fainting after me getting- I've seen a lot of blood drawn, a lot of blood on my life. I'm a very bloody guy, and I've never been nauseous about blood, okay? You bloody person! That is true. One time, like 2 a.m., he kicked something on accident when he was just walking.
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness, guys. There was a pool of blood probably this big on the floor. I literally almost bled out. I was bleeding out and it was like 1 a.m. and all my cousins were over. We were having a big old sleepover. I was like, go get my mom. Go get my mom. I'm dying. I need to say goodbye before I leave this world. And she comes up there. First, not first thing. Only thing she says while I'm bleeding out is, I told y'all to be in bed by 11. We're like, mom's
We're scolding. Y'all don't understand the amount of blood. It was literally like, imagine you took a whole gallon of milk and you just dumped it all over the floor. Wait, inside on the carpet? Yeah.
carpet it was on tire i ran to the tile so it was like all going on it was just it was just pulling up it was just getting bigger and bigger and even that never made me nauseous sick nothing but for some reason today it's because i it's because i didn't eat it was not that and it was morning sickness we had a friend that you used to make fun of it i think you should take it back now yeah we didn't make fun of him but oh no we for sure made fun of him okay well he passed out yeah yeah he twisted his ankle and his ankle started to swell up and he's like
He passed out looking at his ankle swelling. She might be fine. And it was crazy. He was completely out. Crazy experience of my life. And that's you now. No. You're like that. I told you I was morning sick. You're that guy, pal. I didn't have food in my stomach. No, you're him. No. You're him, bro. But moral of the story, eat before you leave the house. Eat cereal. Kenzie, what's your truth and a lie? Okay.
You've had so much time to think about it. It better be really good. Okay, my two truths are... Harry Potty. I've never watched Harry Potty. I've seen all the Harry Potter movies, and I'm missing an organ. Oh, well, I know. Specifically? A kidney. I thought you were going to say specifically a heart. Wow. I feel like I know this. You only need two kindies, I heard. Kindies? Kindies?
Only need two kidneys Kidneys with Harry Potter Kidney tendies Wait I feel like she switched Yeah Wait a minute A moment ago You were gonna say I've never seen a Harry Potter movie Yeah Ow he caught you in your lie You're a bad liar And now you said I've seen all the Harry Potter movies Okay so Who's Hermione?
Say it again. Wait, but you can't ask questions in the middle of the- Okay, fine. Lie! You've never seen Harry Potter. I think the first one's a lie and the truth is that you're missing an organ. Specifically your kindy. How do you lose it? How do you lose it? It's so embarrassing. Why did you do that? I forget where you put it. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. It's the truth. Is the lie.
So the truth is that I'm missing an organ? Yep. Yeah, you got nobody. Okay, yeah, I'm missing an organ. What did you do with it? Yeah, where'd your kidney go? Jesus just didn't give me one. I don't know. Oh, actually. You were born with that one? Yes, God does play favorites. Wow. You sure you didn't pass the kidney? What? Well, he didn't give you two kidneys. Did you pass the kidney? A lot of people pass kidneys. No. That's kidney stones. Have y'all ever passed kidney stones? Wait, what's the difference between that?
Kidney stones are stones that you pee out and it hurts more than giving birth. Yeah, but what's a kidney stone? Like what is that? It's a stone.
calcium buildup right yeah it's calcium buildup and it's literally like salt yeah it's like dr pepper that calcium buildup caused from drinking too much milk or dr pepper or dr pepper oh wait i was probably it's actually cause from dream always drinking not energy drinks pretty much primarily drink water i'll never pass a kidney stone i'm scared for maverick's health because of me too no because he's always eating sugar he's a sugar addict and he
Wait, Kinsey just said me too. She's known the guy. She's been with the guy for two months. No, listen. This is ridiculous. All the women in my family live till like 98, 100 almost. Yeah. And Maverick said that the guys in his family die at 50 and he's on a bad track and I cannot live alone for 40 years.
years you're gonna have to get married twice dude you're just her first husband you have to know that cash maverick and their dad that's their favorite thing to say well i'm gonna die at 50 we're like rappers dead at 21 no and james is like what your dad's like what i die is your dad 55 how's your dad
uh dad's 50. two he's due i'm sorry james i just hurt his feelings i said is he 55. no he's 52 i think your dad yeah it's all the wisdom he has you got yeah he thinks he's gonna die if you ask my dad he's like i'm probably only got six days left he literally every time i see like i feel like i see them they're always talking about how he's like got limited time like he's so healthy yeah he's so healthy he's so healthy
It's because he's like Batman. He's fighting all these crimes. Yeah. Yeah, dad does think he's Batman. It's probably not good. No, your dad is Batman. Yeah, you're honestly kind of in Batman now. He stops so many crimes. He does. I don't think we can talk about all these crimes on here. Just know that they're small town crimes. But people be robbing people and he be out there... And using storage units for what storage units are not supposed to be used for and he stops it. Oh, he be...
He'd be doing things. Nighttime vigilante. I really wish we could say. Yeah. Just know this. When the alarm goes off, man suits up in bulletproof vest, bulletproof helmet. And you all think we're joking. AR, flashlight. He got places booby trapped. No, no, no. We're not joking. He has alarms. He owns a bunch of properties. And at these properties, he has cameras that alarm him when somebody comes on the property that's not supposed to be there. Could he hire security? Sure.
Could he just be security? So he gets an alarm like, and it's like working at the fire department. It's time to shine. He puts all his gear on and he zooms out there. He leaves your mom at home. He says, I'll be back by dinner, honey. Sometimes if he's stressing, he don't even put the vest on because he thinks he's bulletproof. One time he caught a guy robbing from him. So he stops the guy.
And held him, I guess hostage isn't the right word, but I don't know another word. So he held him until the police got there. Well, the guy was doing illegal activity. He had the whole thing. Yeah, the guy was stealing from my dad. So my dad caught the guy and was holding him until the police got there. He got him on the ground. He's on camera. And you just see my dad coming out of the inside the frame. And the guy's standing there with his hands up. And my dad puts him on the ground, kicks him to the ground, and just holds him there.
And the guy got so scared, the guy that was the robber, the robber got so scared that he called the police on himself and said, please come help me. This guy has holding me here. That was crazy. And you know what? Your dad has not had problems on that property since words got out. The police are on the phone. They were like,
Where are you at? Are you at James' property? And he's like, yeah. And they go, okay, have a good night. Oh my gosh. That's not the first time things went down over there. Last time, he didn't catch them. They got away. But they didn't get their car. They left their truck. They left their truck? Yeah. Was this recent? They pulled up in a truck and they couldn't get through the gate. So they get out of the truck and they're going inside the property. Are you okay?
okay? And so they're going around. So dad goes in there and he's screaming and hollering like, I'm gonna find you! I'm gonna
And so they take off running into the woods and leave their car. So the police got there and towed the car. No more car. That's crazy. And they got to go back to the police and admit that they were trespassing to get their car. You can't get your car back. Your car is gone. Wait, was this recent? No, they towed it. They have to pay like $400 to get out of the... Oh, yeah. You'll have to pay to even get it out. Was that recent? Yeah, semi-recent. Before or after the war? We were just talking.
He's out in his car wash and he's watching the cameras. Or not he's watching the cameras. He goes inside the car wash for a minute, like into the pump room. And you never know what's going to happen when that happens. He owns the car wash, by the way. You never know what's going to happen in the pump room. Yep. So he's in the pump room and he comes out and his tools are stolen out of his truck. Oh, my God.
So he goes to the cameras and sees who stole them. And it's this guy on a bicycle that's stolen his tools with a wagon. There's a wagon behind the bicycle. So he comes running out the pump room about this time. My uncle pulls up and he's like, where are you going? He goes, some guy just stole my tools. I'm going to go find him. And he's like, well, I'm coming with you. Okay. So they go and they actually find the guy on the bicycle. You sure you want to call it that? What? Not a bikey? A bikey?
Say bikey for the rest of the story, please. The guy's on his bikey. The guy's on his bikey. And he pulls up and he's like, hey. And he kicks him over, kicks the bicycle over. And my father, who again thinks he's Batman, ends up, let's just say, breaking his hand while giving the guy a nice handshake. And
And he's like, why are you doing this? And my dad's like, or my uncle grabs the tools out of the wagon and he goes, you see these? Because you stole these. And so then, yeah, the guy took off running and now my dad has a broken hand. And an extra bikey. And he's got his, no, he gave him back his bicycle. His bikey. But then once he broke his hand, he did pick up the bicycle and started beating him with the bicycle. Oh, gosh.
Well. He didn't do that. Yeah, he did. I'm pretty sure he did. He didn't beat the guy with the bicycle. I think he might have. I think he did. He got the bicycle. I thought he got the golf club and like threatened to beat him. Yeah, I thought it was the golf club. He did threaten to hit him with the golf club because he pulled the golf clubs out and he was like, I got a feeling this isn't yours either. The guy had the golf clubs in his wagon. Yeah. Wait, guys. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Go ahead. Oh, listen to this. Ready? Y'all need to put some oil on these.
Oh, we do need to put oil on. Mine was actually horrific. Keep going. Yeah, basically the guy took off running and then he stopped and kind of turned around and my dad was like, did I say you could stop? And the guy kept running.
Is nobody else impressed how Tank has just been sitting there the rest of the episode? It's not Tank. It's not your dog. Oh, yeah? Then what is it, huh? It's Sally. Stella. Stella. Oh, yeah. You didn't even know its name. You don't know its name either. You call Tank like an army tank, so you want to blow it up. Hey, Harper, I got an idea. Wait one second. What? What are you doing? What the signal? Oh, you just locked me in here? What are you?
This is what I've been waiting for. Guys, darn it. I don't know why you locked me in here, but now I'm scared. Two things. One, you should dump water on him. Two. Hey, if you dump water on me, I'll do something. How are you going to get out to do something? Two, Gerald is all yours. No, Gerald is not all yours. No, no, no. Please don't. No, no. No. Tank attack.
Just like we talked about. Guys, Gerald. Fire. Thank you for the bright idea. No, no, please. No, no. Harper. She's looking at that thing hard. He has a really odd attachment to Gerald. Harper. I think Tank would like to play with Gerald. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, please. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Tank, sick Harper. Look at Harold.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Oh, he's had a fun time. No, no, she's gonna bite. She's gonna bite. Matt, don't let her bite it. No. Kate. Kate, help him. Help him, Kate. Yeah. Kate. Okay, he can bite the stick. Just not the stuffing. Don't bite the stuffing. No. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. Okay, good. No. Oh, my God.
Why is this dog like this? Where did we get this thing bro? Where did this come from? Why is it Gerald? Oh, he made out with Gerald. No, no, no, stop eating it! No, no, no, please!
Please don't break it anymore. Please no no no please Harper please Harper please Harper please Harper please. What will you give me? Anything. $500? Should we make Tank a permanent person? I want to see how high Tank can jump. No guys actually. I want to keep Tank. Can you get Gerald please? Oh my god. I feel like she's not even jumping as high as she usually does. No. Just don't break him. Whoa. Whoa.
Okay, stop, Matt, stop. He's actually gonna break the stop beam, bro. - You're gonna make him upset. - Oh no, I think Gerald's gonna rip it half, Cash. - Stop it, stop it, please. Matt, please. - Okay, fine, I won't do it. Here you go. - No, can we please just stop? - Stop, release. Release.
Gerald's had enough. Put Gerald down. Thank you. Thank you. Gerald's next to me now. Lay down. Oh, by the way. Lay down. Anybody got water? There's some water. Wait, but I want to drink my water. Well, thank you so much for watching this episode. We'll see you guys next time. Peace out, bro.