Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
I am so angry because I had a real job. Oh, wait. Poor thing. Let's not say that. You sound horrible. That sounds really bad. Yeah. Cut the clip. Run it back. Redo. Wait, what should I say then? You sounded like a biscuit. What does that even mean? I don't know what that means, but it represented well. For .1 seconds, were you really scared? No. Here's the thing, guys. Kate had to get a real job.
And she realized she's not cut out for it. Wait, are we keeping that intro? I want to. No, please don't, guys. It was literally a joke, and I was just trying to see what the vibe was, but that was not the vibe. All right, well, Kate, tell us how you got it. Guys, listen. This was the weirdest Starbucks experience I've ever had, okay? Because Cash had to teach her a lesson. Yeah. No.
Yeah. If you guys don't get that, go watch. I don't, it's the episode where we, I think I, and I'm not even gonna say it because I don't even know anymore. Cause I, I'd say go watch the episode that was last posted. And then we posted it a different day.
And it doesn't make sense. I'm just not going to say anything for now. Is it the one that's like Harper? Okay, anyways. I had the weirdest Starbucks experience ever. I was at like the... You know how like there's Starbucks and grocery stores? Yes. Well, I was... Yeah. Really? Yeah. Like...
Like at Albertsons? Yeah, there's a Starbucks in there. Anyways, minding my business, I'm going to go get some groceries. And my treat. It was like 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I was like, I need a sweet treat. A little pick-me-up. And I went to go to the thing, and I was like, hi, can I get a grande? Stop picking at your skin. You know those dog shock collars? I'm going to get one of those that I have the button, and it's just...
Anyways, I was like, can I get a cinnamon caramel cream cold brew? And the guy was like, a what? Okay, mind you, this is a grocery store. This is not an actual Starbucks. So these guys, I don't think we're actual Starbucks baristas. I think they like literally worked at the store and they just pulled them in there to make Starbucks drinks. So he was like, a what? And I told him my drink and he was like, um, and he's looking at the other guy and they don't know what it is. And I was like, I know I'm not crazy. I've been ordering this for the last two months. Oh, you said that? Yeah, I did. No.
No, I was just like, oh, it was like on the holiday menu. And he was like, oh. And he walks out of the store and he goes to like some random door and he opens it up and he pulls out a bottle of syrup and he's like, oh, yeah, we got it. And I'm like, okay. He's like, you want to smell it? I was like...
You want to smell it? You want to smell the syrup? Also, watch the other one. I want to smell them. I want to smell them. If you guys look at that, on one of the episodes, somebody left a comment that said, I want to smell them. We didn't know what they meant. Anyways, so the guy's like, you want to smell it? I thought he was joking. I was like, oh...
And he opens it up and he holds it out for me to smell. I was like, no, he like, I think he wanted me to smell it to see if it was like out of date or something. Syrup. It was like, cause okay. Because it's a holiday syrup. So they only have it at a certain time of year. How is this? You said you got a job. No, just wait. Okay.
So then I sniffed the syrup because he told me to. And when someone's holding a bottle of syrup, you sniff it, you know? And I was like, oh, it smells like the syrup. Like, it's fine. And he was like, okay, that's good. And then... So he just handed you the syrup and you were just like... Yeah, I was like... Yeah, that's the one I want in my coffee. Let me stick my nose in that syrup. I was like, that is definitely against company protocol. Stop eating! I just flipped. I was in my own world. Oh, my gosh.
Think my arm just went out of socket like if you replay If you replay it I've been oh no I didn't I think you know I didn't mean to scare you. But that's what happens when you pick at your skin. She's doing it again already. What the yeah? I have an obsession. Yeah, but keep going So after I sniff my syrup and the other guy starts making my drink first of all They didn't know how to make my drink He was like do you know how to make this cuz I don't and I was like, I
this is going to be the worst coffee I've ever had. And so the guy like makes it and he hands it to me and I asked for oat milk. I said, can I get a splash of oat milk in that? And he was like, yeah, of course. And he hands it to me and there's no oat milk in it. It was a black coffee guys. I don't drink black coffee. And so I was like, Oh, can I get my oat milk in it? And he was like, yeah. And he looks at it and he goes, it's not going to fit in there.
Pour it out, boy. Figure it out, barista. It's not going to fit. So-called barista. You know what his solution was? He said, you want your splash of oat milk on the side? On the side? On the side. I said, stop, Harper. Sorry. Just keep going. I was like, yeah, I mean, I guess I'll take my oat milk on the side. And this is why I say I became a barista for the day. He hands me my coffee, and he hands me like a little pop cup full of oat milk. What the heck? And then the other guy was like, no, bro, just go ahead and give her the whole carton of oat milk.
The whole carton? He gave you the whole carton? Dude, they were like, here, you can have the whole carton. I was like, no! Why would I have a carton of oat milk right now? In case you need some for later. Bro, what store? I'm talking about Starbucks. Why would, like, that? What store were you at? I was at an Albertsons. Well... That'd be a ghetto Starbucks. It was literally, like, so suspicious. And then he was like, okay, well, here's your side of oat milk. And I said, it's supposed to be my coffee, but thanks. And I was like, okay. And then I made my own coffee.
Did it taste good? It tasted fine, but it was a really just... Were you a good barista? Was it good? I was better than them. I got my coffee order right. They did it. It's like asking for a cherry limeade drink, and they're like, you want the limeade on the side? No. I don't. I don't want any of my drink. I just don't. And then they offered me a whole carton of oat milk. Why in the world...
First of all. Anyways. What's oat milk? You should have said yes so you could keep it at home. As like a souvenir and like bring it up on the podcast. Yeah, guys. You don't know what oat milk is? No. I know. You know how like there's like milk from cows? I do know that. Yes, I've learned that. There's milk from trees. In my existence. Yeah. And you know how there's like almond milk? No. Nope.
I don't know how to explain it. It's just a dairy-free milk. First of all... Joe, can you explain oat milk? Yeah, I make it at home. You do not make oat milk. You make your own oat milk? You do not. I do. No, you don't. Cap. I have YouTube tutorials up. What? This is so cap. Look up Joe Kwan Coffee. Are you talking about because you have a baby? No. Oh my gosh. No, I actually make oat milk.
What do you mean? I'll tell you how to make it. Okay, tell me how oat milk is made. Are we saying oat or oak? Oat. Oat. Oat. Oat. Oat meal? I know what oat meal is. Nope. Boy, if you don't know. I'm so confused. It's honestly pretty much the same. You take oats, you take water, and you blend it until it turns into milk. Wow. He's not lying. Wait, what did you look up? Wait, wait, wait, wait. You have a video of making oat meal?
What did you look up? You did not just look up Joe and then oat milk. Just text it to her. Text it to her.
milk video That is crazy Does it have like at least? What are the odds for talking about oat milk and Joe has a tutorial? There's no way Did you Vita-gate? I'm trying Wait text it to her Alex Cause Listen and it's how me and Cash are from Well I'm editing it There's only one type of milk Two types of milk And if someone on the street be like saying they blended stuff together to make milk
You don't sound pretty. That sounds like my neighbor actually. No, there's two types of milk where I'm from. Three types. Wait, 1%, 2% breast milk. So the only three types of breast milk. What about whole milk? That's uncanny. You have other milk in your town. Nope.
I got it there. I got almond milk and... Really? She's lying. Where do you live? Tulsa? No, but you know what's ridiculous? No, we live in a town you ain't never heard of. You want to know what's ridiculous that I'm still not about? Guys, they have two grocery stores in their itty-bitty town. They have a Walmart...
The Walmart is not a grocery store. Well, Walmart and every other part of the world... Walmart is a grocery store. Not our Walmart. Yeah, that is not a grocery store. So, I... There's groceries in the store. Harper, what are you doing? It has, like, two fridges. If I don't have my foot up, then I don't feel safe. Same. Out, cramp. Out. See, now she doesn't feel safe. Listen, we came from a town with, like, an actual, like...
It was a weird grocery store. We found our dog inside our grocery store. What the? We did. Actually, he was... Y'all never seen... He's blind now, though. Our dog's blind and runs into everything. What's the name of that movie? Dixie? I don't know. When Dixie? We got sent to the actual... When Dixie? Y'all probably never seen When Dixie. Me and Matt got sent to the actual... We were at our church when we were like, I don't know, 8, 9, 10, whatever.
And they sent us across the street. Matt was probably like 11. I was probably like 9. Alex was there too. He was probably like 8. They sent us across the street to go get cheese from the grocery store. And keep in mind, we're just like in Winn-Dixie. Like, we live in a very, very small town. So, like, across the street is not far away. Why specifically cheese? And we go across the street to the grocery store.
We go across the street and we go inside and it's a kind of town where everyone knows us so like They're just like everyone knows everyone. Yeah, like they don't like the people there like they know who we are and there's dog in there Yeah, dogs peeing on the floor in there The doors are automatically opening so he just walks up to it and it opens and he runs inside and they keep kicking him out He just keeps coming back in. Oh, yeah. This is Wiley. Yeah, I've never heard this. What'd you say? Sorry, Hawaii
That's what I'm saying. Are you not hearing? She sounds like someone from my town. But when I make jokes about your town like that, it's offensive. Okay. We'll get to that right after this short story. Keep going. Remind me to bring up Kate Smack talking our town. Yeah. We go in there. He's peeing on the floor. He keeps coming in. And we're like, we'll take him. The store employees are like,
Okay, so we take him and we get the cheese and we go eat. Alright, so why are you buying cheese? Just grocery shopping with your dog. Yeah, and we go back to church or back to the church that my parents ran and we're like, mom, dad, can we keep him? Please, can we keep him? And he's like a puppy, but he's like that big. And they're like, no, we already have four dogs at home. But all of our dogs are outside dogs. And we live on like a ranch style home, I guess. So it's not like, it's like, can we bring him home to our shelter, like our ranch? And
That's what it is. And they were like, no, we already have four dogs running around. We don't need another one.
then we were like oh so we went inside and we had church service or whatever and then one of our friends put him in the church bus while church service was going on so he couldn't run away so he couldn't run away yeah and he was an adult he was my dad's best friend that did it i was like oh yeah and then we come out and he's still here we're like mom dad he wants us look and they're like fine take him home and that dog is still alive he's probably like how old did
How old do you think he is? I don't know. He's like 15 and he's all blind. Yeah. And he runs into everything. He runs into your leg, the wall. Is he still alive? Yeah. He needs to be put down. Yeah, he's got to be put down. He needs to be put down. He has a rough life now. Yeah, like if you move the car and it's like parked in a different spot, he'll just run into it because he's not used to it being there. But he won't ever get hit by a car because when he hears a car turn on, he runs.
yeah yeah slowly but your mom's it's so sad yeah but that just you know what they told me oh sorry no you're good you know what they told me um when i was in the car with them they said that they lived in a uh they didn't have a home when they were growing up and they made me that's not true oh we did tell her that yep we said kind of yeah we were like harvard you have it so easy growing up we were like we didn't even have a house i didn't i i
what to say to that i was like i was like we just kept going and we were like yeah i mean we're homeless and we were and all this stuff and she was like i'm so sorry i i didn't know what to say like oh yeah that's really relatable like i like i don't really know what to say to that like what do you say here's the thing though growing up i didn't realize we were in like a poor town i thought we were in a normal town and then i came to dallas the big apple yeah we're like
We're like, oh my gosh. In y'all's eyes, it was the big gap. There's like highways on highways. On highways. No. With underground highways. On highways. I thought, what I thought Richmond is you had an upstairs with like carpet. Yeah. That was rich, man. What did you have? Then I came to Dallas and I was like, oh my gosh. Richmond, you have a car that drives. And then she informed me that Richmond, you had carpet. That means you're poor. Oh my gosh. I was like, what?
- Carpet. Did you know that? - Yeah, I always thought carpet was like, you're kind of balling if you had some carpet. - Because we got new carpet in our house one time. - Oh, I thought we were so balling. I was like, everybody come over, check out my new carpet.
You gotta get all the homies over. Y'all see this? Lay down. But we only got it in the living room and the hallway, not in any of the bedrooms. The bedrooms also have the old carpet, so we had to shut all the doors. Don't go in the bedrooms. It's like a brown carpet, so it hides dirt because it's so muddy and dirty and there's poop everywhere where we're from. What? What?
So what you're telling me is that your house has poop on the carpet and it's hidden. The carpet was white before and you could see all the poop stains. So they were like, we'll get brown carpet. Poop stains? There's not poop stains on your carpet. Well, you can't see them because it's brown. I lay on that carpet, Maverick. I don't know what to tell you. You know how I've always judged now that I've grown up?
Like when I was little that's how I thought people were rich but now when I've grown up when I Figure out how people are rich when you go to their house, bro You would just instantly tell by the trim and the doors. They got a heavy door. Not the door like out front I'm talking like the doors inside. My mom is laughing to herself. When you- When you- They got nice doors. Yeah she got very nice doors. I literally said that when I went to your house I said "Kate these are some nice doors. Look at these doors." She's like "What?" I said "It's like J Balz house like these doors- like our doors?"
Climbsy, bro. It's like climbing. I could kick through my door. Literally, we could kick our door down. Their door? Nope. And there's like a beam in their house. There's like one singular beam. Oh, I hit it. Why is it there? That's a beam. Yeah, I knocked on the beam. I was like, that's a real beam, too. That's not just like a style beam. That's a real beam. I'm sorry, but why is that beam there, Mom? Like, I've always tried to climb. I don't know. I've tried to climb to the top.
Yeah, it's real because I thought it was for decoration. And then I hit it and I was like, no, that's a beam. I'm just imagining Cash there. I'm around Kate. He's like, babe, one day we'll have one of these. We'll have this beam right here.
But for now, we'll keep filming the podcast and are upstairs until we have no money. I remember this because when I went to his old girlfriend's house, his ex-girlfriend, their doors were crazy. I was like, Matt, you see these doors? This is crazy. You got to be careful closing the door. Otherwise, it's like, bam. You shut it fast and it's like, boom. No, that's what I did this morning. I slammed the door when I walked out. Wow, arguments in your house must be crazy when the doors get slammed. Oh, those slam doors got to be crazy. I'll tell you what, though.
- You got upstairs four doors. - Our doors that we grew up with, we broke those doors so bad. - Oh my gosh, still to this day, my bedroom door is upstairs. So the way our house is laid out back in Oklahoma, it's made for like a big family to live downstairs.
And then like a grandma and grandpa live upstairs. So it's like a, it's kind of like a duplex. It's got a little kitchen and stuff and like a living room. So like the upstairs has its own little kitchen, its own like little laundry room and all that. That's what I call rich. Well, yeah, I guess so. Well, his family built the house. Oh, cool. Yeah, like my grandparents and my dad, like they all built it. So like they built it like custom to them kind of. And my grandma always lived upstairs. But then when she moved out,
Me and Mav lived upstairs. We moved upstairs. So the upstairs now, once we moved out, doesn't get used like at all. At all. So like it's exactly how we left it pretty much. And the door is still just completely broken. Like I go there and Kate's like, why is this the shore? I'm like, Mav kicked it down trying to get to me once.
And his door, same thing, destroyed because I'm trying to get to him. And our door frames are just destroyed. They're fricked up, man. Let me tell you, the doors are fricked up. If we would have had those solid doors, I wouldn't even have attempted to kick it down. No, you can't kick that thing down. Listen.
this town guys i've never seen anything like it you know i grew up in dallas i grew up i i okay first of all back to what you were saying i literally thought my family was slumming it out in our house we had like like i was like oh my gosh like we are like a nine bedroom house no i live i mean i have like there it's a five bedroom house six i count offices as bedrooms
Yeah, I counted that. Offices are bedrooms. That's six bedrooms then. That's five. My parents' room downstairs? One, two, three, four, five, six. Four upstairs, your parents, the office. But I mean, most people don't count offices as bedrooms, but I do. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why. Dang, she's like, I'm richer than I thought. Apparently.
- Oh wow. - No, and my brother said the same thing because for us, all of the rich kids, like really, really rich kids-- - They had nice doors. - Well no, we didn't pay attention to the doors, we paid attention to the floor. And they had hardwood floor. Oh my gosh, when everyone started getting hardwood floors and we didn't, I was like, we literally, like we must be going broke.
We must have no money. Because you didn't have hardwood floors. And me and my brother both thought the same thing. Like, we never talked about it until we got older. And then, like, we got hardwood floors and all was well in our world. But I was literally, like, so, like... I mean, we have no money. Like... You were ashamed. And you know what's the shit? I literally thought... If you guys have never been...
In a rich person's house. You don't know like they've never seen the doors that i'm talking about Go to home depot, bro. They're not at home depot I don't even know where you can buy them. You can't yeah shows like they're special doors Y'all have six bedrooms too. No. Yeah, we have one two, three four and if you counted the studio it'd be five But the studio don't even have a window
Or a closet. No, what about the office downstairs? What office downstairs? The dining room? The dining room? Yes. That's an open room. That's supposed to be like a kid, like you're supposed to put like a dining table there for like four or five people. Yeah, there's not even a door down there. We used to think growing up that you were rich if you had a front room that couldn't be used by anybody. Oh.
You know what I'm talking about? We're like, they're so rich that no one... Yeah, but you can't use it. You can't sit on the couches. Bro, I've been to houses where they got dining room tables that you can't use. Yeah.
They got they got like covers over their chairs. Yeah. No, I remember that your ex-girlfriend's house Yeah, I mean, you know that when you walk in the left. Yeah, there was this oh my gosh Yeah there was this room like the size not as big as this but like almost as big as this and there was just four chairs one in each corner and I'm talking nice like crown molding the ceiling and like a coffee table nice fireplace I remember when I walked in me and Kate were like talking over there. I was like Kate I
has this room ever even been stepped in oh we went and we sat down just so it would have been used i was like i feel like we gotta use it and i sat down here i was like this is cool and like dude i'm telling you it was like everything you just knock on it's like that's solid yeah there was nothing there just four chairs in a corner hey it's a visiting room it's where you go i also thought people were rich growing up and this i think i think you are rich if this is the case if you have more than one christmas tree
Oh, yeah. Definitely. I've known some people that got like three or four Christmas trees. Didn't you have an outdoor Christmas tree? Crazy. No. Who was that that had an outdoor Christmas tree? J-Bell had an outdoor Christmas tree. Oh, yeah. And then they had an upstairs Christmas tree, a den Christmas tree, and like another Christmas tree. And we got their old one.
You guys want to know? Okay, especially if you have an outdoor Christmas tree. You're ballin'. Yeah. Sorry, girl. No, you're... No, so I went to this Christmas party with my friend Brooke. She actually just faced on me, but I literally loved it because the house was, like, leased for, like, $20 million. Oh, really? Yeah. No, they weren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know about that. No, no. In Texas, guys. Texas. I'm not sure about that. You don't have to be... Maybe it was 10 mil, but, like,
It was 10 mil. That's light. It was light. No, I know it was above 10 mil. So I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm so excited to go. I walk outside. There's lights everywhere all over there, like Christmas lights everywhere. And I was like, that's so cool. Like, this is so cool. Then I walk in. There's two big nutcrackers that are pink standing right there. And then I walk in to the house. There's...
like pink everywhere. It's my dream house. They have a new puppy. Um, and then Brooke shows me around the house and I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's so cool. They had this like white room and it's like their movie theater, but they also have another movie theater upstairs. Oh, nice. Two movie theaters. That's crazy. No, no,
No, but no. But they have a whole candy bar with drawers filled with candy and like full-size candy bars, full-size boxes. It's so cool. And like drinks, a whole vending machine like to put the water out, you know? Those things like that at like the like restaurants. And it's a white room so you can't bring anything in there. And it's like really cool. Yeah. I think movie rooms at home are a waste of a room. Dude, they never get used. No, they never get used. Every time I see somebody that has a movie room. Unless you have
Who wants to watch a movie sitting in an actual movie theater couch? Like chair. You want to watch it on a couch. Or if you're going to do that, you're going to actually go to the movies. Or you're going to get washed in your bed, washed on your couch. No one's going to go there. I will say, I have seen some people with movie theater rooms though. And we have done it. And we'll play video games in there. That's the only time I've ever seen it used. And that's fun. That's the only time I've ever seen it used is if people play video games on it. And that is it. Yeah. But what do y'all think is rich now?
So if someone has... Like, what do you... You see it now, you're like, yeah, they're red. That's the doors for me. The doors and trim. I'm trying to think. That's such a... Such, like, a dad thing. Like, getting close up to the trim to, like, admire it. If they have... Oh, my gosh, I have a pimple. If they... Oh, my gosh, that's so bad. If they have...
I'm trying to think. Botox. Yeah. Yeah. You're rich then. Yeah. If you got Botox, you're rich. Yeah. No, I will say, like, no, not Botox. What's the lip filler one? Is it just lip filler? Lip filler. Yeah, when they have lip filler and Botox...
Just know they live in a mansion. Yeah, you immediately know you're I mean you ain't poor If adults have golden gooses on I think Yeah, but it's 14 adults have a bun I'm like, yeah, they live in a mansion. I don't know what would make me assume that I actually know I think the car they Drive Oh, yeah. Yeah like a Porsche
People can fake rich with a car though. No, but like not in like, like true. Yeah. Well, I feel like in the area we live in, especially like where like you are, um, every time I drive through there, it's like, you know, that's all the, all the range Rover moms are there. They aren't cosplaying rich.
- Yeah, my neighbor's house is so big. - They aren't? - They're not cosplaying. - I literally, our house looks very small compared to our neighbors 'cause it's a big white house. - Yeah, wait, I'm gonna bring this up to you. Do you film in front of that house on purpose? - Yes. - That's hilarious. - Yo, every time she films in front of-- - And there's this one girl that goes to my school, you know who you are. - Whoa.
She is always up in my comments, oh, it's not her house. It's not her house, to every comment. Harper, that's Kate and me. I'm like, guys, it's not her house. She's flexing someone else's house. Wait, but that's so lame that someone takes the time out of their day to go respond to every comment. No, literally. I'm telling you, I literally meant to ask you this because Kate, I saw you filmed once and I was like, Kate, she just set it up on her mailbox. I don't think she knew. And then you filmed it a second time and I was like, ah, you knew. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, what the first time?
video got like over a million likes like look at their christmas lights guys like it's i mean yeah it's a pretty house that gets attention and i'm not gonna lie i mean like when i still lived at my parents house i first started tiktok i did that like our neighbor's house was like just the way their house looked on the outside it looked really nice so i just would angle the camera she's like that house looks like it has hardwood in it that house got nice doors inside i knew they did that's why i did it
No, bro. And when I was, I don't, I don't, apparently they're not at Home Depot, but when we were at Lowe's or Home Depot, I was looking at some doors and they were like exterior doors, like the front one. And I was like, we should cop this. And I looked at that price tag, bro. $1,000 for a door, a front door. Crazy. That's actually insane. I don't even know if that comes with installation yet or tax.
Oh wait, so you do it on purpose. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Do people like, other than the one person at your school who feels the need to correct every single person in the comments? Harper, do you know what's worse than... Do other people say stuff to you about it in person? Besides us now? Yeah, they're like, Harper, that's such a smart idea. I mean, it is. Guys, both of her videos did really well when she filmed in front of the mansion. You know what's worse than flexing? Fake flexing.
Hey, no, to be fair, Harper's house is like, she lives in a pretty nice neighborhood. That house is just like extraordinary. You know, it's like, it's like, it's like a mini version of the white house. Exactly. No. And when you walk in, um, it's a huge glass window. Oh my gosh. It's just a glass window. Uh, the, the white house. Oh wait, isn't that house for sale?
No, there was one like on your street though on that side. There's one for sale. Would you like that if we like became neighbors? I'm kidding. I would. I would actually really want you. Then I wouldn't have to drive to her house to do her brand deals for her. Yeah. I could just walk next door. Don't expose me like that. No, but you should.
Yeah, when Harper has to film something, Kate has literally had to drive to her house to film it. Multiple times. What's up with that, Harper? I just have issues because I don't... Harper has issues with this. You text her and she just goes, swipe up.
You know when the notification pops down, she just swipes it right back up. Oh, yeah. I'm like that, too. Yeah, I don't want that. So then I have to drive to her house and say, Harper, I got to do this video for you. And then she's like, oh, my gosh, yeah, of course. I totally didn't even know this needed to be done. That's crazy. Oh, my gosh, yeah, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. No, I have issues. Yeah, I know. Because these brand deals are mean. Like, especially, like... Well, you ain't got to worry about them anymore. Oh, my gosh.
Name drop the brand. They got one now. No, not the brand deals on this podcast. No, the brand deals on this podcast are so easy. I love it. I actually love the brand deals on this podcast. Bro, my mom even- Like HelloFresh, keep them coming. No, for real. My mom even took the liquid IV and took one for herself. Yeah. Yo, I've been trying to get people on a HelloFresh. Really? Yeah, if I see it at someone's house, I'm like, use the code next time. Yeah. Wait, Mav, so what did you always see as rich? As rich? Um-
Honestly, yeah, the Botox thing. Definitely if they got Botox. Oh, yeah, that was not a thing. I forgot about it. If they have multiple Christmas trees. But, yeah, if they had like... Marble countertops. That's what I was going to say. If their kitchen was like marble countertops, it was like, oh, you're balling. Yeah. You don't have the fake countertops. You're rich. Or when the dad pulls up in some crazy truck. Oh, I know. Do you want to know how I know that a place I'm at is poor?
I'll tell you how I experienced this and I was highly embarrassed because I was just minding my business um and Henrietta okay this is how I knew I was like dang they are slumming it here okay what see that's what I'm saying she just slanders our town I forgot we were supposed to come back to this no but go ahead listen I okay y'all's town is not that poor but I went into the water what's
- That's not even a compliment. - I'm trying to right my wrongs. - It's pretty broke, it's mostly abandoned. - Yeah, it's like the tumbleweed town. You know, you're driving through and you stop 'cause your like, take is on E so you have to just make do and you look across the highway. - We did. - They just got a quick trip. - Yo, we got a quick trip.
biggest, craziest thing ever happening on there. No, but I was like, oh, I'm just going to go to Walmart and get some bagels and cream cheese for breakfast tomorrow. And they don't got that there. I went in there and I would look at... I go to the frozen aisle and there's two freezers.
There's one with a little bit of milk. She's not kidding either. There's one with a milk and a little bit of butter. And I'm like, hmm, like, where's the rest of the frozen? And I was like, oh, excuse me, ma'am. Like, where's the cream cheese? You asked her? Yeah. I was like, where's, like, the strawberry cream cheese? She's like, you're not from around here. No, she said, she said, you can go to Homeland. What did she say? I said, come again? She was like, we don't got that here at this Walmart, sweetheart. You can go to Homeland. I was like...
Thank you, ma'am. Thank you very much. Our town do be talking like that. I was like, I was Homeland. Like apparently that's the grocery store. And this last trip, because every time I go there and I'm like, I need to go to the store. I've just accepted that like, oh, if I need like whatever I need from the frozen, I was not going to be there. But then your sister was like, oh, let's go to Homeland. And I was like, oh, I've never like really gone in there. That is a grocery store.
So they do have cream cheese at Homeland. Oh yeah, that's because they only sell groceries. Yeah, they only have groceries, which is better than two refrigerators with some almost expired milk. And you know what's crazy? My Walmart is the only Walmart I've ever really seen like that. They have every section. Like they have a camping and hunting section. They have everything. But it's just tiny. They have like the car section, like the mechanic section. They have like every section.
but every section is like three, two aisles. Like it's just, everything's like, they like shrunk a normal size Walmart down to nothing. And it's like, this is it. Why don't they just get rid of the camping section and add another four more refrigerators? Because that's very impractical. Like,
I don't know. I guess not really because if you need something for hunting and it's not at the Walmart, then you got to go to like Tulsa or something. Yeah, you got to drive like an hour. It is an hour. It's not impractical. It's just insane. Like there has to be somewhere in the Henrietta budget to just build a normal size Walmart. Bro, our towns like that. They tried to do that. They tried to bring in a super center and the town rioted.
Rioted? Yeah, because they were like mom and pops. They didn't want to go away. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So Walmart, Walmart left. So now we don't have one. Walmart packed with bags. No, like a Starbucks. You're not catching a Starbucks in Henrietta. Oh, heck no. And I was so excited because the town that's like 20 minutes away was getting a Starbucks and then they just aren't doing it anymore.
Which was sad to see again because that mom and pop, they just opened a coffee shop right where the Starbucks was going to open. It's good for the family-owned business. It's just unfortunate. And I'm not going to lie, guys. I've tried a lot of one-off coffee shops and stuff, and I don't like it as much. Exactly. I've tried. It's good for them, but like... It's good for them, but like, no, it's good for them. And I'm willing to sacrifice my Starbucks for the few days I'm in Henrietta. I thought he burped when he left.
Yeah, I mean, I just... Kate has literally told me about our town. She's literally said... She's like, I don't want to go back there. It's scary. It is scary. It can be. If you're...
Like, walking around at night, it's weird. Like, there's not a single person I don't know. It's dead. Knowing I'm from there, she literally has said things like, oh, that looks like it belongs in Henrietta. Oh. No. Yeah, she does. Yeah, no, she literally says it herself. She's like, that's a Henrietta car. That's a Henrietta person. That's a Henrietta thing. I'm like, I'm a Henrietta person.
I want y'all to know, I married a Henrietta person who made it out of Henrietta. Made it out the hood, let's go! Made it out of Henrietta! That's what my wife says about me. I want y'all to know, I actually, Henrietta is like actually a cute town. Like I love at Christmas, they have decorations. Oh yeah, go ahead, try complimenting her. We got like four. She's just saying that because she realized there's hunkers there. I love like the Labor Day parade. Are you talking about the little things they hang on the poles? Like the stockings? That's so like...
Out of a book. Like one, two, three, four. It's so out of a book. The ones that have a hole through the middle. It's out of a book. It's so cute. And like on Cruise Night, all the vendors were out on the street with their stuff. Like that's cute. The only reason I insult it so much is because they give me such a good reaction. Vendors? You mean his relatives?
Yeah. No, like, literally, it's actually funny because, like, you drive through the town and you'll just see their last name plastered across, like, random buildings because your parents just, like, own stuff. No. You guys know, like, when, uh...
She had nothing to say. No, no, I do have something to say. Oh, you had absolutely nothing to say. I do. On the podcast and club channels, I hope y'all... Why do I have hair in my eye? I hope y'all know that I don't actually look like this because some friends of mine said that I don't look good on the podcast. What? I never said that. Who? Who said that? It was Maverick. No, I didn't. That's a lie, Kate. Wait, who actually said it?
I'm not. I can't say it. Name drop. No, don't. What the? Kate is all about the gossip. Kate is crazy, man. Unhinged. That is wild. She's going to come back and be like, that's something for Henrietta. I said Henrietta. Henrietta. No, but. Because why have I heard negative things about all of your friends, Harper? All the mean things they've done to you before. I know. They're like Henrietta people. But like my new friends are nice. I wonder how good they look on their podcast. Yeah.
Yeah. No, but... That was a joke, guys. Why were y'all still like... Y'all both were like, yeah. No, but the thing is, like, why... Like, because I come straight from school, so I can't put on my makeup. Wait. Yeah, first of all, you have got a crazy schedule, okay? Yeah. And she looks great on the podcast, for your information. No. I look really bad. No, you don't. I have about two minutes to touch up. And... Because I come straight from school, and then I go home to get socks...
Wait, why didn't you have socks? Wait, what do you mean you go home to get socks? What is that supposed to mean? Our mom is shaking her head yes, like yep, we do have to do that. You did that today? Because you have to take your shoes off when you come in here? So you had to go home to get socks? What shoes were you wearing at school? My UGG minis. You were wearing UGG minis without socks? Next time, just ask. We have like clean socks here, you know? And my tennis shoes.
You can't say nothing. I always wear socks. No, you can't say nothing. I do. I've seen this man ruin a pair of my shoes. Wait, I really want to lift up that tire. Why? I actually want to see her do it. So I'm going to let you do it here in just a second. But ma'am has, he's a cop on your shoe with no socks on.
And you when you have I guess a little bit of sweaty feet like mav has that's not true Your feet will grip to like the sole of it and then he just shoved it in there And then he just shoved it pulled it back out and untied the shoe just put it back out whole sole and everything just comes out with it He turned my shoe inside out. My whole shoe was inside out. It was unfixable and it literally broke That's the oh, it's the phone. The phone was literally deformed. I broke his one borrow That's crazy. You would even say that you know how stupid you sound
You don't break a shoe from wearing it one time. Well, you break a shoe from freaking stomping on it and then ripping it out. He has a grudge that has been held. Just accept it. Because I saw it happen in front of my eyes. I was like, don't do that. Don't, man, stop. And he's like, it's fine. And then he just pulled it back out. Cash likes causation without correlation. And he does that all the time. So...
Joke's on you. Yeah. Okay. Every time something happens in the house, he'll just... I understand. I break my friends' hearts. Are you saying I blame you for everything? No, it's because everything's your fault. He'll accuse things that have no correlation. I had cause
and correlation, guys. It's not true. Listen, the other day, I was vacuuming my white carpet, which is part of the reason I tell people to take shoes off. Oh, this was crazy. This is proof how delusional Matt is. Wait, what? We have a white carpet, so everybody, I say take your shoes off before you come in my house because that's how white carpets get ruined. What's happening? First mistake was you bought white carpet, but I'm not going to go there. But you bought it with me. You were the one who carried it to the car. You said you wanted it. I don't know. Anyways, so I...
No, that's great. At our couch. Oh, anyways, I'm vacuuming our rug and I spot a little something in there and I'm like, what's this? I get down there's chocolate in my white rug. I was like, uh-uh. No, because I know better. I don't eat on my white rug because I know that's what happens. And she's down there cleaning. She's talking to me. You know who eats a lot of chocolate around here? No.
You just ate. You just ate this whole bottle of it. But you cash each way more chocolate than anyone else. You bring a bag of Hershey Kisses over, he's going to go through that entire bag of Hershey Kisses in one sitting. But no, listen. Kaye's out there cleaning up the chocolate out of the carpet. And she's like, who ate chocolate here? And I'm like, how about him? And he's literally standing. How about him? No, that's it.
And then all of a sudden, it's my fault. He was sitting there eating chocolate. He had three pieces. Then she's cleaning it, and she didn't notice. I was like, maybe him? No. And he's eating it on the couch. I literally just walked in from Christmas. I ate one piece of chocolate. I'm midway eating it. There was wrappers all over the place. Like eight feet from her. Not even near her. And she's like. Matt, it was right where you were sitting.
You have rappers practically falling off of you. And I picked up the rappers and you said, okay, I would have gotten that. And I was like, yeah. And then you know what you said? You said, okay, just because I'm eating chocolate right now doesn't mean that's me. And Cash eats chocolate more than me. And that's what you just said. And you just said that again.
Yeah, if someone buys me chocolate, I'll eat it, but I'm not going to buy it. No, you're the one that buys chocolate. I have never had to tell Cash because Cash understands that we have a white carpet. This is my point. Yeah, I understand that. Causation without correlation. They'll just... They see, like, I'm drinking this Prime right now. I just got this Prime. Let's say there was a blue stain on the floor over there. All of a sudden...
It's me because I'm drinking it right now. But I could have been there for a week. We don't drink Blue Prime. I do. Oh my gosh. We don't drink it. Well, you haven't been here. It had been like we hadn't filmed in weeks. Nobody had been here.
It was clear. It's crazy. And when I look over, there's chocolate in my white carpet, and I look a foot over, and Maverick's eating chocolate. They will accuse anyone of anything. I'm sorry, but it was so funny when Maverick said, someone does, and then he had the whole chocolate container empty right there. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. This is proof. He just ate M&M's on the podcast. And who else ate those M&M's? I said, pour me a couple before the pod. You had M&M's too. I said, give me a couple. Now let me lift up that tire. All I'm saying is that
Well, for one, I have like two people that come over ever and they know to take their shoes off when they come to my house. Go ahead. They take their shoes off. Cash takes his shoes off. I'm never not taking my shoes off. Honestly. I have seen you wear your shoes throughout the house multiple, multiple, multiple times. Alex takes his shoes off. I don't even remember. You ratted yourself out. Why'd you wear shoes in my house, Alex? Oh, yeah. All I'm saying is that.
You I don't wear shoes in the house first of all you do you got better? I never wear the shoes in the house and and this is a perfect example like these M&Ms right I sat here in this chair set here and ate them I gave cash some you know what he did he walked around with them And if he dropped one somewhere guess who's gonna get accused of it I didn't walk me because he was walking around with him in his hand walk around with them Yes, you did. I did if one pops up somewhere. It's gonna be my fault. I
Well, it's also just because it's easier to blame you because I come upstairs. See? Easy to blame me. Always blaming me. I come upstairs and there's a McDonald's milkshake from three days ago sitting on the floor. I come out and there's a slushie from McDonald's, a half-drinking slushie that's melted from a week ago that's been sitting there. And I've been waiting to see if he was going to pick it up and he doesn't. You guys ever just look at Harper and see how uninterested she is? Sounds like Harper's brain, though.
Listen, Harper, that's your room. Do as you please, girl. Yeah, mom. Actually, that's Bronwyn's house. Do what Bronwyn says. That's my dad's. And your mom's. They're married. What?
Okay, so somebody doesn't know how marriage works. Yeah, guys, I think it's time for Harper to lift the tire. Oh, my gosh. She's been waiting. She asked before this episode, can I lift the tire? What type of 14-year-old girl gets excited to lift a tire? I've never... Harper, if you were on the side of the road and that was your spare, how are you fixing the problem? Yeah, let's see it. You just got a flat. Okay. She said, okay. All right, go ahead. Why is there a gummy?
I dropped, I dropped it. Oh, and guess what? I'm the one that eats gummies, so I'll get accused of that later. I got it, I got it, I got it. There's a gummy in there? Yeah, I dropped it. Why would you do that? Oh my gosh! That's kind of impressive. Wow, she- That's actually pretty impressive, not gonna lie. She made it look so light. That is not light. That thing's heavy. Wait, I'm actually kind of confused right now. That thing's very heavy. Oh. Yo. I'm not doing that. That's actually- Look at her shirt.
I told you. That's actually kind of impressive. I really liked toning it. It was kind of fun. Ew, it's like all over you. Ew. Yeah, I know. What type of poop is that? There's black marks all over me now. It's bad. Yeah. All right, guys. Thank you so much for watching this episode. We'll see you guys next time.