Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Ryan Reynolds here from Int Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.
So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless. I bet you get 30, 30, bet you get 30, bet you get 20, 20, 20, bet you get 20, 20, bet you get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month. Sold! Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes each detail.
This is an ad for BetterHelp. Welcome to the world. Please, read your personal owner's manual thoroughly. In it, you'll find simple instructions for how to interact with your fellow human beings and how to find happiness and peace of mind. Thank you, and have a nice life. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an owner's manual. That's why there's BetterHelp Online Therapy. Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Visit
Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHelp.com.
This episode is brought to you by Opel, the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. Opel is FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free. Plus, there's no prescription needed. Finally, the days of needing a prescription for birth control are over. Opel is available online and at most major retailers. Take control of your health and reproductive journey with Opel. Birth control in your control. Use code birth control for 25% off your first month of Opel at opel.com.
Not out loud! Out loud! You are so mean! I wanna know what it says! She's gonna cry. Read it out loud! Oh, she's gonna cry. Oh my goodness. Kate's gone. Kate's gone. Oh. I hope we don't clap. Moon shoes!
The shoes that bounce you to the moon. Those don't fit your feet. This show is actually sponsored by, not kidding. I was about to say that. We're searching in the description, $19.99. Have you ever wanted to fly? They'll take you to the moon, but we do not have moon prices. Okay. Cash's toes are literally hanging off the edge. Oh my gosh. What'd you say? His toes are like hanging off the shoe. Your feet don't fit. Yeah, I know. When I bounce on them, they hit the front. You know, I actually had these exact same shoes when I was like 10 years old. I brought them out of garage sale. I was so lit.
I wonder if people wore them to school. What? I wonder if people wore them to school. Apparently, these were a big thing in the 90s or 80s or 70s or 60s or something back in the day. You just said it in everybody. I'm not going to lie. The 90s, 80s, 60s, 70s
All the same. I don't know the difference. They're all the same. You're hurting your parents right now as you speak. Just stop talking. I genuinely don't know. When somebody's like, that's so from the 80s. 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. All the same era to me. You guys know what memory was just unlocked in my brain? What? When Harper said, people wore those to school.
I don't know why this was a thing, but you guys know those like shoes that had the LED lights running across the side of them? Oh, people had some crazy shoes. I always wanted one of those. They sold them at the mall, the kiosks. I did want those, but I'm so happy I didn't fall victim to them. Oh, I'm not. The shoes that were the craziest to me. Did y'all ever have the wheelies? Oh, yes. Heelys? They have wheels on them. They're wheelies. You never
That's crazy. You did not. You did not have wheelies. I did. They got banned from school though. Cause we would like run down the hallway and just be like, I know. I have Heelys now in my closet.
Purple Heelys in my basket. I would do you really yeah, we each have Heelys. Yeah, let's go My sister is pink My sister has pink Heelys and I have she be a part of the Heely gang I have they're like a youth size 12 Wait does she have Heelys
Yeah, she said you'll have... I can't even. Her mom just said she does not have Heelys. Harvard, the bottom of your sock is kind of dirty. It's because I walked outside. Yeah, who wears white socks? Hey, that's better than the bottom of my sock right now. Now, white socks is the 80s.
Or the 90s or something. Especially these tall socks. Yeah, that's like from some era. It's because I didn't have any other socks. That's from an era that is not ours. Hey, speaking of crazy shoes, y'all remember those crazy Converse? That went all the way up the legs? I wanted those so bad. You should get a pair and wear them. I don't think I can. I hated those. Those were crazy. I hated wearing those. They're very like... You had some? What? Boys weren't supposed to wear those. Oh, maybe that's why they were always small on my cast. I feel like...
I feel like if you're walking around wearing those like knee-high Converse you gotta be singing the song like what's the emo song? Oh, oh no. I love when the emo people Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend No, that's not the emo song. The one that's like I'm at Burger King with my Burger Queen Oh, I hate that song. Something and a side of fries That song is the equivalent to one, two, buckle my shoe.
And I hate John's song. Ew, remember when y'all made me sing in a good voice on the body? What? I was like...
Speaking of songs, do y'all remember the hot dog song? What did we make? What show is that? Hot dog! Mickey Mouse! Oh, yes! Oh my gosh! I only know that because... I saw Diggity Dog! Yes! Did you see the video of the little kid? Yeah, I have that video. Yes! There's a little kid. You're dealing with me? Yeah, he's like five years old. With the bouncy shoes? No, not with the bouncy shoes. There's this little kid. He's like five years old. His mom posted this TikTok of him. And...
Pop this TikTok up, but mute it because we don't want to get copyrighted. It's playing the hot dog song and it's Homie's birthday and he comes out and he's dancing like Mickey Mouse to the song. He literally looks like he's from the cartoon. It's like this though. Okay.
That's like actually terrifying. You said it's the left person. You went right. Left foot. That was like terrifying. I like never want to see that again. What? I wish I could do this. No, you got to get that down. I'm telling you, the five-year-old pulls it off good. Bro, we'd be so hard at the court after we like score three if we just busted him. We just dunk on somebody in basketball and we're like, hot dog. Y'all don't understand.
The connection me and Cash have on the basketball court. Stop using that word, bro. Stop using that word with dudes. You don't have a connection with me, and you don't have a connection with other dudes. I need to look up the hot dog thing because there was one. No, wait. Hold on. No, no, no. I wouldn't start to die. No. Hot dog. Hot dog. Hot dog guy. Hot dog guy. Do y'all ever see those hot dog mobiles? Look, watch. Yeah. I love those things. Hot dog mobiles are lit. I saw one of those in Nashville when I was like 12. Yeah.
I've never seen another one. They also have peanut ones. Is that a girl? Wait, we should get the hot dog floaty and tie it to the jet skis. Oh, I've always wanted one of the hot dog floaties, but Maddie and Kate told me not to spend that much money on it. What? Yeah, the hot dog float. You can spend your money. I don't care. Cash has...
a thing where he like loves to save money and then he randomly will pick like the most whack thing he wants to buy his money on. Like a massage chair. He decides he needs this massage chair so bad. He finds it and then he has buyer's remorse an hour after buying it. He would have had buyer's remorse an hour after buying the hot dog floaty. I don't have buyer's remorse because I will sell it and make my money back. Maybe I make profit.
Maybe you don't. No, it's just I think what you do is you get so in your head and you convince yourself you need it so bad and you start thinking so deeply about it and it's like I don't know life without this massage chair. I have to have it. I don't know life without my hot dog floatie. The worst buyer's remorse I've ever experienced. Yeah, and you were there with me. The worst buyer's remorse. We did it together too. We were like, you know what?
It's our honeymoon or something, or anniversary. It was our anniversary. It was Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. It's Valentine's Day. We're going to go to a nice restaurant. We go to this place called Perry's.
And we normally always go on Friday because they have this like pork chop that's like $18 on Friday and it's like banging. But normally in the week it's like 50 bucks or something. And we're like, you know what? We're going to go not on Friday. Go on a nice date. Go on a nice date at night because on Friday you got to go at like noon. But we're like, we're going to go at night, dress up, go to this nice restaurant. You know what's sad is we did go on Friday. We just went about an hour after the pork chop deal ended. Okay. Well, that was just stupid of us, huh?
But we go there. We order. Normally our meal is like maybe $50 when we go there. Not too bad. And this time, how much was it?
- I don't like talking about it. - It was 200, right? - It was. - I'm pretty sure our meal was $200 and all we got was two pork chops. - Oh, well, $1.5 is $600. - We got less food, I'm not even joking, less food for like triple the price. Because when we go during the pork chop deal on Fridays between 11:00 AM and 5:00 PM or something, you get the pork chop and you get like mashed potatoes. - And mashed potatoes. This time I paid more money and they gave me no mashed potatoes. We were literally sitting there eating and we're eating this meal
And both of us are just like, I'm not having a good time. And then when the ticket came, we were like, let's never do this again. It was the worst Valentine's Day ever. It was sad. I felt so guilty. It was Valentine's Day, though. Well, it's not going to be funny anymore. Wait, what do you mean it's not going to be funny anymore? One time I went to a sushi place and I didn't eat any sushi and it was $800. $800? That's just a lot. Mom, it was $600 or $800. $800.
- Dang, y'all spent $600 on sushi? - More than two people. - Yeah.
When it's a group setting, it doesn't hurt as bad. But when Cash and I just decided we wanted to go spend $200 on a meal just for us two. That's $100 a plate. Nothing. It was brutal. I was so upset. I was like, I feel like Maverick, and I never want to feel like Maverick again. That's why we did it, too, because of you. What? I got in y'all's head? Yeah. Your first date with Kinsey was at Perry's. Yeah. Not on Friday. But I'll tell you what. We didn't spend $200. $200.
What could y'all have gotten there then? I got a steak, he got a steak, and we shared some fries. That's exactly... That's 200 bucks. No, that was like 100 bucks. That's literally what we did. No, it was literally like 100 bucks. I'd love to see the bill. I just went to lunch with a friend, and I paid, and it wasn't a date, and I spent $100. And so that's what you call stupid. Whoa. So your Valentine's Day, it's okay. How did you spend 100 bucks? Well, uh... I don't know. Why is it so expensive to eat? Where'd you go? Sip and savor. Sip and savor? Sip and savor. That's really good. Let's talk to the manager.
about that y'all must eat a lot of food when it's not funny that was awkward wait was that a joke what did you say let's talk to the manager let's talk to the manager about it it's not a joke because that's like something kate would actually do are you serious i would not do that is this your phone number on here because these numbers are way too hot
Hitting the road this summer? When you download the Fuel Forward app, you save up to 20 cents per gallon on your first fill-up at Phillips 66, Conoco, and 76 stations. Because that's what the app does. A simple, straightforward way to keep you moving forward. Fuel Forward. 20 cents is a combined savings of 5 cents every day off per gallon plus an extra 15 cents off per gallon for first-time users up to 30 gallons. Offer valid once for a new Fuel Forward app user through 12-31-2024. Participating locations only.
I've heard generic financial advice all my life. Like, don't buy fancy coffee every day. I like my daily dose of vanilla latte. Luckily, having an account with CefQ means I know how to manage my money in a way that works for me. And their mobile app makes it easy to keep track of my spending and budget for my coffee treat. Now, I'm doing things my way. CefQ. Not a bank. Better. Learn more at cefcu.com. Insured by NCUA.
This episode is brought to you by CarMax. Searching for your next car? Don't settle, thrive. At CarMax, it's easy to shop online or in person. With upfront pricing and tools designed to help, finding a car you love has never been easier. Plus, you can sell or trade in your current vehicle with an online offer in minutes. No strings attached. Start shopping now to find a car you'll love at CarMax.com. CarMax, the way it should be.
That's Kate right there. I feel like it was worth it though because I was asking her to be my bridesmaid so I was like aww. That's so cute though. It's like a little part of her gift. How did that go? Asking everyone to be your bridesmaid?
Well, they all say yes. Yeah. Everyone said yes. It's kind of awkward if someone said no though, right? It would be really awkward. And Maverick has no groomsmen. Who's the maid of honor? What? My sister. Your sister. Okay. That's good. I just don't ask people to be my groomsmen. Like that's weird. Will you be my groom? Yeah. Hey, will you be my groomsman? Like, no. Yeah. You have to start the conversation like this. Listen, bud.
I know you don't want to be in this wedding. And I'm sorry I'm asking you. But I have to have groomsmen. Yeah, I don't understand why girls like being in weddings. It's so funny. Every guy I ask, I know inside is like saying, please don't. It's like an honor to be asked to be in somebody's wedding. Would you want to be in somebody's wedding, Harper? Yeah. Really? No. Yeah. I don't. Yes, you do. You don't want to be in anybody's wedding. No, I don't want to see people kiss. I don't do that. I don't want to see. No.
No. Our first kiss is going to be at our wedding. I know. You don't want to watch it? I talked to Kate about it. Actually, yesterday she was talking to me about it. What do you mean? I'm going to tell you also what... Wait, wait, wait. What were y'all talking about? First of all, it started out like...
Harper saying that's so weird Cash used to be the attractive brother because Maverick's definitely the more attractive one what the I'm kidding what the I'm kidding no no no no wait are you kidding no no no I'm saying are you kidding or was that a conversation that happened because I need to know these things I will say it was a
it was a conversation that happened, but I wasn't like, oh yeah, Maverick's definitely the cutie one. No, no, it was hard to say. But you did say it. Yeah, I said, like, it's crazy now that, now that Cash used to be the cute one and now I guess Maverick, like, everybody likes Maverick now. Yeah, you said that or did you say like... No, that's what she said. She said, that's crazy. No, exactly what she said. You're never welcome in my hilly game. Speaking to your wife, she said, that's crazy. Cash used to be the attractive one. That is just... Oh my God. What would you do? That's just...
that's just personal, you know? Well, it's true. Like now, and then I talked to your own wife about how must you are now. She makes you shower. Did she agree? She was like, she's like, no, he's actually very clean, more than Maverick. And I was like, what? I was like,
I was like, what? I got Cass showering twice a day, so he has to be kind of clean. He's got to shower twice a day. Sometimes three. Sometimes middle of the night. Sometimes I take a shower before the podcast. I'm already sweaty from the day. This man wakes up in a pool of sweat sometimes in his bed. He's got to go shower in the middle of the night. I thought that was normal until I started talking to other guys, and other guys were like, that doesn't happen to me. So I don't know. Maybe I have low iron or something. But no, back to what I was saying about Harper. She was like, is Maverick and Kinsey's first kiss going to be at their wedding? And I was like, yep. And she was like,
That's so weird. Do they know how to kiss? Okay, we've kissed other people. All right. You're going to have to practice, Mav. Alex, come here. Come on.
No. Okay, wait, wait. What would you have done if somebody said no, though, when you were asking people to be your bridesmaid? Well, I'd be a little sad. Oh. That would be personal. I guess I would have to pick somebody else because they weren't my true friends. If a dude said no, I'd be like, no, listen. I need this. I need this. Please. Please. I know you don't want to. You know what's crazy? My sister, she was like, did Matt ask you to be his best man yet? No.
I was like, that's me after Matt asked me to be his best man. Just like that. So excited. I was like, no, he did not ask me. And she's like, we, all the groomsmen need to do that dance. And then Lainey genuinely, my sister's Lainey. And then she genuinely, she was like, do you think he's going to ask you to be his best man? I was like, obviously I'm his best man. And no, he doesn't have to ask me.
That's not like a thing he's got to ask. What if Maverick had in his head that he was going to have a different friend as his best man? That would be crazy. But can we, after we kiss in the wedding things like over when we walk down the aisle past everyone, can that be our outro song? Hot dog! Kate let ours be Spongebob. I did. I did that, but my one request, I was like, after we kiss and we walk out, can our walkout song, or when we're leaving the ceremony, can it be, It's the best day ever?
And that was our song. And I literally, I argued it for weeks, but he did not do any, he didn't care about anything at the wedding. He did not have any say in anything. And he's so truly deeply wanted this to be his song. I think there's like a deeper meaning to the song to him that he just hasn't told me yet. It's the lyrics.
We had the best day ever. Did you not listen to the lyrics? Yeah, our walkout song was to a sponge, okay? Yeah, well, you know what? Our last dance, or our first dance, or whatever it was, our first dance was...
Some song. I don't even know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yellow. It's all yellow. I remember your first dance song. It was all yellow. It's all yellow. Yellow. What's yellow? We don't know. Best day ever is very, everyone knows because the lyrics are trying to connect everything. Yes. The lyrics are true to its meaning. It was a foreshadowing, honestly. And yellow. What's that song about? The sun? I don't know. No, it was. Oh yeah.
SpongeBob. The two were connected. Yeah, the two were connected. And then we did our private dance. And our private dance song was up. The joke's not funny anymore. Why do you keep saying that? Do you not have funny jokes? Were you going to ask if we could talk to the manager? Okay, okay, wait, wait. So, to ensure that I don't have SpongeBob playing at my wedding, I'm going to need some help. So, Kate, this is for you.
That is the replacement candle that Maverick ruined. You're welcome. Wait, what candle did he ruin? Whenever we were... If she doesn't know, I would just let it be. Oh, are you talking about the strawberry cheesecake one or whatever? Oh, dang it. I thought this was the right one. No, honestly... I have the different one. I have the different one. No, that one has been...
has been in my cabinet for years. No, I've ruined multiple candles, guys. Yeah, no, I purposely, when Maverick said Kate can borrow a candle, I said whatever Maverick is doing is going to destroy the candle, so I'm going to give you a candle I don't care about. Okay, well, if you don't like the smell, I have the gift. So you don't care about her gift? No, I care about the gift. This is actually better than the cheese, strawberry. Who smells the lid? What the frick was that? My sister was doing that too. Why did you smell the lid? My sister does that. I guess it's just her thing. A Bath & Body Works employee told me that. One time I was walking around Bath & Body Works, my arms were full, and I was having to, like, grab the whole candle, and she was like, cut me a sweet off
Let me show you how you do this. And she showed me. She was like, see, you just grab the cap, take a sniff, and it's way easier. And I was like, that is way easier, my friend. Thank you. Don't say sniff. That's what she said. That's what I do in the shoe store, bro. I'm like, are these used? Dude, these smell so good. New shoes? Okay, can I open my card now? Yes, open your card. Yay! It better be money in that thing. Is there money in it? Okay. Kate's acting like she doesn't know what it is. Is there money in it?
Read it out loud. Read it out loud. I feel like she's going to get emotional. You are quickly becoming like a sister to me. It would mean the world if you were a part of my wedding. Will you be my host? Yes, but I don't know what a host is. A host, when people come in, you like greet them. And then whenever you cut the cake, you get to cut the cake and help serve it. That's so sweet.
Sweet! Yay! Do you have something to host? Okay, wait, I have another gift. That's so exciting! I have another gift. Oh, boy. Aw, host, you get to cut the cake. You know, Kate was sad this whole time she wasn't gonna be in your wedding. No. Dude, that's so awesome. You get to be the cake cutter. Wait, are you about to cry? No. Thank you. Wait, wait, wait, time out, time out. Before you hang out. I'm literally not about to cry. Kate's about to cry. Look at them gasping. No, look at her eyes. I can't see. Look at her eyes. I'm not about to cry. Oh, my God, the swallow. Kenzie, before...
Before you asked her to be your host, she was sad because you weren't going to include her in your wedding. That is not true. Oh my goodness. That is not true. Maybe when they hugged, because girls, when they hug, you kind of feel sad. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm going to cry. No, that is not true. Wait, what? She looks like she's about to cry. I'm about to cry because y'all are so mean to me because that is not what I said. I said, when I had my wedding...
I still feel very upset that I didn't include my sister-in-law in it because I'm so close to her now and I've always regretted not having her. Yeah, why didn't you make her a host? I didn't know what that was. I didn't have a host. You can wear a little chef's thing and cut the cake. Yeah. You get to be the cake cutter. The apron. That'll be fun. And you get to invite people into the door. Yay!
I'll make sure that spongebob isn't playing when you walk down the aisle. Why is Harper's gift in a sprite bag? You know what they say, small or fun, good objects come in weird pairs. Yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that before. Spirit and sprite, I always get those words confused. Oh my gosh, it's sim and savers flowers. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh.
Okay, this is where you read the letter. All right. Okay. May always. You don't got to read the front. All right. Oh, wow. I'm going to cry. Harper, you fill every room you walk into with joy. Your bubbly personality is infectious and it never fails to make me smile. Will you be my flower girl? Yes. Oh, well, this is awkward. What? Did nobody tell Kinsey? Oh, no. Tell me what? Yes, you will be her flower girl, right? Okay.
I will be the flower girl. Harper's the flower girl. Let's go. Wait, I'm confused. What are you talking about? I would love to be y'all's flower girl. Well, you guys accidentally planned your wedding over homecoming, so Harper cannot come to the wedding. Oh, Harper, do not sweat it. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Y'all could always move the wedding. You're so nice. Like, like, I don't know. Okay, but. Why don't y'all just move the wedding? Please move it. I just, I really want to be there. I don't know if we can move the whole wedding. Really? Dude, I'm so mad. I think I'm going to try to make it to the ceremony or whatever it's called, but I might not be able to. Aw. That's okay. That's okay. I'll live stream it. Hey. Hey.
I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jost. And we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big secret. Well, now you gotta give the people something. No, I'm not saying a word. Oh, then people won't know to tune in. Come on, tell them a little. Like how we're hosting a comedy event streaming only on Peacock? Exactly. Or how it's called New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features drop-in comics? Boom! You nailin' it, dude. I have Michael Che's phone number. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing. And it's streaming now. Only on Peacock. You love it.
Okay, I'll FaceTime you. I'll be right behind him. You'll get the closest view. Oh. Closest view? Okay, wait. Wait, what? What? Um, yeah. Wait. What? No, nothing. Kate's tripping.
Well, it's okay. I want you to know it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. It's okay. I understand. When I was in high school, I'd rather go to homecoming anyways. Yeah, okay. All right. Thank you so much. I completely understand. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, Elise, you got flowers. Yeah, I love these. They're pretty too. It's okay. Kinsey didn't come to our wedding and she didn't have homecoming. I also did not know them. And Alex left my wedding early. Oh. Missed my best man speech. Where'd you go, Alex? Oh.
Okay one more gift. Oh, it's for me. What do I got? Cash you do not get a gift. I'm so sorry. This is for Kate. Another? She gets two gifts? She's doubled up her gifts and I get nothing? I don't think the candle, I think the candle was her trying to be nice and right your wrong Maverick.
What? I don't have any wrongs, first of all. Wrong. Wrong. Okay, I guess Kate just gets another gift. I'll get nothing. Would you like this gift? Nope, it's fine. I think it'd be funny if you actually opened the gift. Nope, it's fine. It's Kate's gift. I get two cards? It would be funny if you opened the gift. Yeah, you get two cards. Oh my gosh. I can open the gift. Wow. Every gift should come with a card. Every gift.
Read out loud this time. She's gonna cry. You are so mean. I want to know what it says. She's gonna cry. Read it out loud. She's gonna cry. Oh, she's crying now. Okay, so I'll narrate. No, no, no. Oh, she's sobbing. Oh, my goodness. Kate's gone. Kate's gone. Oh, my goodness.
Oh, Kate's gone. She's crying. Somebody get a bucket. Why are you crying? Two buckets. Has anyone got a mop? I knew she was going to cry. Oh my gosh, this is an ugly cry. This isn't even a pretty cry. Nobody even knows what's happening. Can we tell them? Oh my gosh. The crying is bad. This is crazy. This is not a cute cry.
I'm gonna read it for Kate because she's going through it. No, no, no. Make her read it. Make her read it. Can we take five, please? There are tears in my eyes. I think we need to stop. Read it, read it, read it. Read it, read it. In the style of Josephine.
Harper's trying to be in the middle and not laugh. Harper's laughing. I'm gonna throw up. What? Oh well. Three buckets please. Okay read it out loud dang it. No I can throw up. I love that clip. Please throw up. She's not on me. I'm like making myself nauseous. I know.
Can we inform the audience what's happening? Somebody say something. The audience is like, they really want to know what that letter says right now. Okay. Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. Read the letter. Kate. Why is it that hard? Imagine you open this and read it. That'd be hilarious. She forgot to read. Is it that mean of a letter? She forgot to read. Should we make Harper read it? Even Bronwyn's laughing at you. Everyone's laughing at you.
I saw this dog come out of her nose. Yo, this is my favorite wedding ever! I saw this dog come out of her nose. Oh my gosh. Do y'all need to read the letter?
Mom, we already have the tissue. You've got to read it. I'm sorry. Okay, here's some real tissue paper. No, this works great. Okay. Go ahead and blow. Blow real good. No, no, don't blow. We know there's a lot of snot in there after all that. All right, Kate's going to read now. I feel like I can't. All right, here she goes. She remembered how to read. Here we go. Yeah, it came back to me just now. I'm sorry. I'm actually trying to get through this. Okay.
Kate, when praying for a future husband, I've always added a little tagline at the end. Please let him have godly sisters. You are truly a woman after Christ and quickly becoming one of my greatest friends through the good and the bad that comes with marriage. I know that you will be quick to point Maverick and I back to Christ. Will you be my bridesmaid?
I would have been your host, too. I can still be a host if you need a host. So, yes, you'll be a bridesmaid. You guys are so mean. It's their fault. I'm so sorry. I know it was their fault. Yeah, she was like, well, I'm going to ask Kate to be my bridesmaid. And I was like, actually, to be fair, I'm the nicest guy here. Because for y'all that don't know, Kate did not know she was going to be a bridesmaid. She thought Kinsey already had all her bridesmaids.
Kate was sad. Kate was sad. Crying all the time. Crying to me. I was snoring all the time. Very sad. Like, sadness. That is not true. And I knew she was going to be a bridesmaid. And I was like, so the whole time? And I was like, and I was like, Kate was the best she is. You knew the whole time? Yeah. What did you want me to do? I knew too. They like, no, it wasn't that they were just like, not, they weren't just like, oh, no, you're not a bridesmaid. Feel bad about it. Guys, what?
Well, you gotta hit them while they're down. Bam! That's literally, I was
No, no. We had to sell it. Kinsey came down and I was like, Kinsey, you got to tell her this weekend before you go back home. Please tell her. Please tell her. She's so sad. It's bringing my energy down. Please. And she's like, nope. He wanted me to just ask you at the table, just be like, hey, Kate, you want to be a bridesmaid? I was like, no. I have a plan. I do like this. This one made for great content. Great crying. It was great. It was not the plan to be on the podcast. That was them idea. Of course it was. Yeah, we planned that like short notice. Oh.
yeah but you know what you took being invited as the host very honorable you did i could feel the heaviness in her chest she's like i would love to be your host you are great after because i know you were crushed you were hoping that you're gonna be an usher that's like did you think the host letter said bridesmaid is that what you thought it was gonna say
I mean, I had assumed it at first because... Oh, so when you read host, it was like... Oh, we really kicked her while she was down. Yeah, just a knife to the back. Well, I just have never heard... I didn't know what a host was. Well, you knew it wasn't a bridesmaid. You knew that. Well, I wasn't sure. Will you be my host? Okay, the second part of the joke is... Will you host my birthday?
birthday you can breathe a little too because she knew you weren't available we did that as a joke as well also the boys fall i'm so sorry no no it's okay it's okay i was talking to harper yesterday and she actually said she could maybe time it to where she can i think you guys should cater to her homecoming and just move the wedding like an hour before so she can make it what time is home yeah i don't
- It's like a whole thing. It's like a parties, dinner, dance. - I got a question. Do you guys actually go to the dance? - No. - Why does nobody do that? I don't understand. - Last year we trolled, but like... - Wait, wait, you have to open the rest of the gift. - Last year, no. - I got carried away. - Wait, what do you mean last year you trolled? - We just... - Oh, great. Okay, well that, okay, what is bleep it? It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine. I know you were the weird kid. I know. I was. Harper is out there on the homecoming dance floor. No, no, no. Please do that at homecoming. Hi, world. If you post a TikTok of you doing that at homecoming, go up to the DJ and be like, I have a song request. Hot dog. Hot dog. It's so funny. And then I actually cracked my, oh, sorry. Open the, open. Yeah, sorry. We'll pay attention. What? Open the rest of your gift. If you hate it, I also have the gift receipt for this.
Give her see there's a receipt in the bottom. Okay, just be honest. I don't think I'm gonna hate it though You have pretty good taste. Okay, it's from James Avery. Yeah What charm is it? It's a boy So what do you think when you look at it you always think of me It's well, it's an inside joke Maverick. Okay, you look like a boy. Oh
That is hilarious. I'm gonna go get that put on. Yay! What's the inside joke? Oh, she's gonna cry again. Oh my goodness. She's going again. Someone's turned the faucet back on. That's hilarious. I love that. Oh my gosh. What's the inside? You don't get it? I was like 99.9% sure you had a charm bracelet because I thought we had talked about it and I asked Maverick and he was like, no, she didn't have one. I was like, no, I'm pretty sure she has a charm bracelet.
Why did you whisper that? Because I wouldn't stalk through your stuff. And I was like zooming in. I was like there's got to be a charm bracelet. That's hilarious. Hey. I actually love that. Share the secrets. No. We know the secret already. Yeah okay. That's hilarious. I didn't think you could have said it though. But seriously if you don't like it. It's after like nobody knows. Nobody knows.
Some people don't. Oh, really? Yeah, surely not. No, some people don't know. Harper didn't know. Oh, yeah, you're annoying. I was really not aware. Well, can we say it? Okay, I'll just say this. Go subscribe to Kai and Ty. The charm is because they really like Kai and Ty. I actually have decided that I hate those guys. And I hope to never meet them.
Well, anybody, go subscribe to Kai and Ty. Link is in the description. Kai and Ty channel. They pay us $500 a month to shout them out on the podcast. Yeah, and they're in debt because they still have made no money. So now they're just $500 in debt for that. Awesome, guys. Go subscribe to Harper's channel. She's starting to do videos. Right?
Okay, we're done. She said we're going to film a Get Ready With Me. No, not with y'all. What? What the? You don't want to film with us? Never mind. Don't subscribe to Harper's Channel. Yeah, don't do it, guys. Our little pookie is starting her own. No.
Oh, gosh. Don't call me that, please. No, but guys. You should call your fans that. It's like Jake Callers, Logang, Little Pookies. Little Pookies. Little Pookies. Little Pookies. No, but guys. No, yeah, y'all should go subscribe to my channel, but if you don't, that's fine, too. I don't really care either way. Oh, wow. Yeah, period. Mom. No, I. She's trying to do like reverse psychology. No, like, I bet y'all won't be able to get me to five million followers before 2020. No, Harpico.
Like, nobody likes me. Y'all probably aren't even going to subscribe. Don't be pygmy. Don't be pygmy. Guys, no. Oh, my gosh. There's this thing, and people are like, Harper's so pygmy. I'm not. Oh, that sounded pretty pygmy to me. Like, I sometimes am very pygmy, and I can see that, all right? You know what? That whole couch just screams pygmy to me. What? Now we're the pygmy boys. Yeah, y'all both just have pygmy energy. How am I pygmy? No, Maverick's going to be like, ah!
Can we play that at the wedding? You mean like Maverick before Kinsey? Maverick when he met Kinsey? Maverick on his wedding day? Yo, pop up the clip. Pop up the clip. That would be funny. We were trying to plan Cash's best man speech today. Wait, you can't know his best man speech. Oh, trust me. I have to know his best man speech. Otherwise, it is going to be very unhinged. Yeah, Maverick...
Cash is due. You know. I'm gonna have a great best man speech. I don't know if y'all know this. And I'm gonna be wearing moon shoes the entire time. Bouncing up and down. I don't know.
don't know if y'all know this and you guys probably will never hear the speech because the speech was so unhinged that we are not allowed to post it on the internet. You know I still get comments to this day two years later people are like please post my best man speech. It was the funniest best man speech I think of all time. No and you know what? But y'all know how we have to cut stuff from the podcast because people say unhinged things? That's what Matt's whole speech was. I had like five people in the audience yelling at me to sit down
while everyone else was laughing. There was like our grandmas, maybe my mom, multiple people were like, Maverick, sit down. Nobody was safe. My parents weren't safe. Grandmas weren't safe. I had two guns and a microphone and I was just shooting. I was gone. Yeah, people were not happy about his jokes. What were they? Oh, so many jokes. We can tell you after, but jokes about my parents' love life, jokes about everything, jokes about grandma dying, I think. Grandma, what the? I don't know. Y'all know what Mav told me today? Hmm.
Oh, it was crazy. What? Matt calls me. Yes. Matt calls me. Yeah, that was an accident. He says this. It was an accident. Grandma, if you're watching, we love you. You don't look a day under 40. Yeah, not a day. Not a day under 40. You don't look a day over 45. Oh, my gosh. Maybe 46. Maybe. The max I'd give you is 50, Grandma. That's the max you get. Looking good. Maverick calls me today. My grandma has a surprise birthday. It just came out wrong.
She has a surprise birthday party coming up that we're going up for. She lives in Oklahoma. We're going to Oklahoma next weekend for her surprise birthday party. She's turning 75. I mean, 45. You have a young grandma. Yeah. Very young. My grandma's like 80. No wrinkles. Nothing. Definitely not 70-something. Maverick calls me and he goes, he's like talking, he's like, oh, also, where is grandma's funeral going to be at? I was like, yeah.
Hey, Grandma! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was like, is that him? No, I didn't mean to. I was just like in the middle of doing something and Kenzie was like, can you call Cash to figure out what I need to wear? And I was like, where is Cash? And I was like, I'm always the last to find out about these things. Cash was like, Grandma's dead!
Good day, Mama. Surprise, doodle, bang, bang. I was like, no way she got. And he was like, oh, birthday party. I was like, oh, okay, that's a big difference, man. Big difference. Big difference. Harper, does your face hurt? Very bad. It looks like it hurts. I can't do this. What does that mean? We had a facial the other day, me and Kay, and I can't move my face like this. And everybody that's here this morning was like, why is your face so red? Wait, what do they do in that?
I'll tell you what she did. It was the most satisfying thing ever, and you're going to be so jealous. Did she squeeze pimples? For a fat minute. Really? She picked them up. And me and Kay were both crying, arching our backs. Yeah, it hurt so bad. She was like, listen.
The extractions are not fun. Extractions? She's like, I'm not going to be your best friend. Yeah, she's like, we'll be friends after. And boy, was she right. I had tears in my eyes. That hurt. Wait, actually? Yeah. Did you cry? No, almost. It was so satisfying. Sounds like a surgery. I thought it was bad to pop pimples before they were ready. Same. She's the esthetician, so I trust her judgment. But yeah, she was like, I need to pull it all out so that we can get your skin cleared out. Is she pop pimples down?
like down in Netherlands. Okay, that's not funny. Um, like she, she bought, she bought, I'm really interested now. She bought pimples like really far, like, like down in my skin where they weren't supposed to be popped. No, she actually said that like there's like buildup and debris like in your pores and stuff. Debris? What the heck is there going on in there? He has a bunch of
pores oh yeah look at your nose my nose has no pores anymore well it does if you take off your makeup come on take it off no Maverick's nose forever I've been I've genuinely been like Maverick I will pay you 50 bucks if you just let me squeeze your nose like this yeah if you let me hit the one on your eyebrow right now I'll dude I already popped it it's healing
Is it? Yeah. That was kind of an ick. He's healing. He's healing. He's healing. He's healing. I don't like Cash picking my face because he doesn't have gentle, delicate fingers. No, he's never let Cash do anything. He wants to like... He's always like trying to pop your back and like...
Get your face. I'm a good pop backer dude. No. No. He'll be like let me see your toes. You're like whoa. Dude I always try to do that. When I see people's toes I just grab them as I walk by to like. Not like that. Okay. Not to hide your feet. To pop them. Like let me see your toes Kate. No dude. And I just. I literally just grab them and I roll them down. But he doesn't. Dude show her. No no no. Let's see. No show her. That's exactly what I do. And then.
Yeah, that's literally what I do. I just grab them, but I have to do it before they're expecting it. I just grab it and I'm like, and I pop all their toes. Yeah. No warning. And I like popping people's back. Touching people's feet. One time, Kate was trying to pop our cousin's back when they were littler, and she stepped on her back to pop it and moved her rib out of place. Oh, no. Did you know that? I did not do that. I did not do that.
What'd you do then? I didn't do it. What? It was just another friend that did it, but yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, her ribs did shift. Yeah, one of the first times I met Cash, he pulled my skin on my back and he popped something. Oh, I'd love to do that. Y'all want to do it to me? Anybody? No. Harper can do it. Yeah, I'll pop your skin. No, she's going to rip my skin off. Pop your skin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, lay down. Oh, my God.
She doesn't know how to do it though. No she does. I'll coach her through it. What? Like he pinches it and then pulls it. I think she can go with her little hands. You think it'll work while I'm standing up so we can have the mic there? No you need to lay down. You gotta lay down. But they can't hear it. Huh? Oh yeah they can. No there's no way they can hear that. Yeah they can. Just sit down. Do it. Ugh. Fine. Alright guys. I'm gonna sit down but if y'all Maverick's wearing skinny jeans. No Mav it's fine. It's fine. Mav Mav it's recording on your phone. Maybe straight leg. No no no Mav Mav Mav stop.
I don't know that'll work. Oh, yeah, you're not getting boot cut you get straight leg at the most but these are literally boot cut jeans My legs are just massive so they look like they're not boot cut but they are boot cut You are literally the size of a drawer shut up I'm not gonna lie it's not but y'all's legs are pretty similar They really are. Well stay still. Just stick it on the top
No, you stick it on the top of your head, Dorf. Okay, where'd it go? It fell because you're too much of a Dorf to handle anything. A Dorf? What's a Dorf?
You just call me one. She said a dwarf. If you just call me one and you don't know what that is. Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Dwarfs is a word. Dwarf is it? But I kind of like it. You're a dwarf. Hey, you dwarf. Get over here. The Seven Dwarfs. Does anybody ever know their names? Because I feel like you could only name two of them. It's like Sleepy and Grumpy. There's no way any of y'all can name all seven. Dopey, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy. I forgot about that one. What? That's four. Angry. Angry.
Oh my gosh, you're actually close. Oh, frick, two more. Angry. So dopey, sleepy, hungry, happy. Dopey's a crazy one. Dopey, sleepy, hungry, happy, angry. It's not hungry. There's no hungry. I'm hungry. Dopey, sleepy, happy. So dopey, sleepy, happy. You're forgetting your own. I know. Yeah, it's brat. Bashful. Yeah, bashful. This is impressive. It's a bodily function, the last one.
Poopy? Wait, you know it? Oh, airy? Poopy? Something that has to do with air.
Bloody, blood, throw up, vomit. Oh, wait, okay, so. What bodily function or fluid? So bashful. Bashful. Nosy. Nosy. It has to do with your nose. Snotty. Snoopy. Sneezy. Sneezy. Wait, Sneezy? His name is Sneezy? No, Sneezy, Snoopy. Oh, wait. Sneezy. Okay, we got them all. Now we have to say them now.
I'll get the same in a lot of... Okay, go ahead. Sneezy? Snoopy? No, Snoopy's not one. No, Sneezy, Bashful, or whatever. Dopey. You already forgot? Okay, I'm going to help you out. Happy, angry. Angry, happy. Wow, you're so good at this. Sleepy. Sleepy.
And Doc. Dog? Doc? Yeah. Doc? That's such a random one. There's not one called Doc. Doc? Like a doc, like a water doc? Which one did we get wrong earlier, though? I don't know. Okay. Since I know all, it's Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey.
I don't know what Doc means. Maybe he's a doctor. No, Doc is the father of all of the dwarves. I never watched Noir and the Seven Dwarfs. I am your father. Oh my gosh. How did you do that? That was pretty dopey. That was crazy. I'm crazy talented. That was kind of dopey. I don't...
Don't, yeah, don't hype him up too much. You guys want to see it again? I am your father. He gets like half a second of attention. See, nobody can do it but me. I'm the only one. I am your father. I am your father. I am your father. Wait, wait, wait. Yours is like, I am your father. I am your father. Yours is kind of loud. Luke Skywalker.
You look like one of those monkeys with the tent thing. Whatever those voice things are like. Voice strings. Yeah. Wait, what? Guys, let's talk about how y'all used to make me sing good on the podcast. Yeah, sing good. No, no. Let's talk about how y'all were like, what?
Do the hot dog song. No. Hard order. No, no, no. Hard order. I can't believe that y'all were, I can't believe I gave in to that. That was so real. No, like, because I was like, I was like a shy little girl. I know. She couldn't stand up for herself. I couldn't stand up for herself. That's pick me. Yeah, that's very pick me. I was a shy little girl. I couldn't say no because y'all were like, y'all just sing in your good voice. And then I was like, it's cool.
Hey, you know what? You know what? The corn one did good. You know what? That's terrible. I'm pretty sure. Let me check something. I'm pretty sure that it's corn when you sang that. Don't even bring it up. No. No. I'm bringing it up. It was pretty doofy. It is. It was jokey. What did you say, man? It was pretty doofy. The it's corn short is... Wait. It's good. It's our seventh best short we've ever posted. You're welcome. Yeah. Try it again. Hot dog. No. No. No.
Hot dog in your best voice. Wait, do the dance while she sings. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sitting down for myself this time. What? No. You're sitting down. Come on. I'm sitting down for my choice this time. I am not doing. No one's going to make you. But the fans will love it. What song from your childhood just randomly like you can't get rid of is just always there. It's just in your head. Oh my God.
The Disney Princess CD soundtrack that my parents used to put on my Hello Kitty CD player lives in my brain. What song? I don't know. Just all of them. They all sound the same. Mine would probably be Bad Name. That's pretty good. Wait, let's sing our best opera. Wait. Is that actually opera? Look at her mouth shape. Okay, somehow you're actually good at that. What do you mean somehow? We all knew she could sing. We've all seen the Korn video. You're making me laugh. Hold on. All right, ready? Here we go.
He looks so kill-billy. Yeah? You sound more like a tornado siren, but it's close. Why is it kind of good, though? No, you sound like the squirrels when they get hit by a car. Did you hit a squirrel? I'm thinking more like the squeaky wheel in the Womba Rock. He sounds more like when you get to the shopping cart with the squeaky wheel. The squeaky wheel is this.
They don't have them at Target, but Walmart, though. When you go to Walmart... When you go to Walmart and that one wheel is just... It's like this. It's like... It's like this. So it's like... And you're just... You're walking. You're so loud. You're just walking by the aisle. You're like... That's funny.
That's never happened. And like you can't control it. It's too hard to steer so you're using like half your body weight to control it. You gotta really push with your right arm. You're drifting that thing. You gotta like push with your right arm extra heavy. Full throttle. Wait, you've never had that? No, never. Shirley shops at Target. Yeah. Oh my gosh. The other day, Harper played me so hard.
hard okay this is crazy yeah Kate told me about this yeah okay so the other day if you go watch one of our more recent episodes Harper says yeah I'm going to Target at 5 p.m today we were like like it's a scheduled like Target trip and she's like heck yeah me and my friends are going there I was like oh cool forget about it later that evening I'm at Target with one of my friends just like doing you know some shopping and she's like Kate and I look and I see Harper and I'm like oh
my gosh like you actually showed up on time like you said you would like yeah crazy and I was like where's your friends and she was like oh um it's 7 0 5 she was like my friend's gonna be here at 8 15
I was like, Harper, that's over an hour. Then my friend didn't show up. Yes. And I was like, I texted her and I was like, okay, well, if your friend doesn't show up, like text me, I'll come back. And she was like, okay. Cause I had to leave and drop my other friend off. And then I dropped my friend off and I texted her and I said, Hey, did your friend ever show up? And she was like, no, I was a little sad, but my mom's coming to get me now. And I felt so bad. I was like, oh my gosh, Harper, like God stood up at target. No, you know what? She didn't tell me was that her friend was in the car with her mom who was on the way to pick her up.
- She was having a sleepover with a friend the whole time, but she made me feel so bad for her. - No, I-- - Because I thought she was stood up at Target. - Pick me. - No. - Wait, wait, wait. I'm confused. Are you confused? - Yes. - Why, wait, you were supposed to get to Target at five, but then you were there at 7:15. - No, no, no, forget about the five. - Okay. - She was there at 7:05. - Where was the friend the whole time? - At cheer practice. - At cheer practice. - What? - Cheer practice, but then she stood me up at Target and then I was like, "Hey, my mom can come get you." She was like, "I don't know." I was like, "My mom can come get you from cheer practice."
I'm sorry. My mom will get you from here. You are coming to my house. We will have a sleepover and it will be fun. And I will watch you. Bring your bonnet. Make sure it's silk. You know what? I hate when y'all make me laugh on here because when I watch these episodes back, I just want to punch myself when I laugh. I know. It's so bad. It's like...
I sound like a gremlin when I laugh. You sound like the hyenas from Lion King. I got our next costume. Mine? No, I got our next costume. We'll be the three chipmunks and you can be like Dave, the record label. We little bugs. Y'all are the chipmunks. We're the chipmunks. Yeah, y'all gotta be the chipmunks and we'll be the chipmunks. Why would we be the chipmunks? What do you mean? Why would you not be the chipmunks? Because being the chipmunks is Albert Simon Thiel.
In the chip ads? No. Alvin, Simon, Theodore. Duh. And what's Mav? He's the record player guy, the bald guy. Ian? Ian Hall? I am not being Ian. And you're Dave. Ian Hall? I am not Ian Hall. Our owner? Gosh. Ian Hall's so weird under the chip ads. No, I'm not. Yeah, did you see that TikTok? Yeah. Yeah, the chip ads are just like... But they're like, we're gonna get a cute TikTok like that. And Ian Hall's just like, oh yeah. Yeah.
I'm going to make sound. You squirrels nailed it. Yeah. It sounds like something. What's funny is he got played, really, because when he actually filmed that, it was probably a green screen, and he's just looking at nothing, and they put those in front of him. And he's like, I look so bad. Yo, pop up that clip of Ian Hawking and the Chipettes. I don't think you can play the music, but you guys can understand what's going on. It's not good. It looks so inappropriate. It looks bad,
because they it looks bad because he's looking at chipmunks and he's like they're supposed to be like children no it looks bad because the whole series they put squirrels in outfits and then suddenly when the squirrels are naked as a squirrel should be it looks inappropriate it looks
I don't know. I think I'd buy with Squirrel wearing outfits in the wild. Yeah. Except when Kate hits him with her car, she'd have to take off all her clothes. And then start dancing for Ian Hall. No. Can we dress up as Alvin and the Chipmunks? What? When Kate hits him with her car, what noise did you say they make? What? What if they're just saying, ow!
You guys want to pop my bag now? Yeah. Lay down. Oh, okay. All right, here we go. In the moon shoes. Yep. Moon shoes. Oh.
What if those things just broke and you went through the floor? That's cash. Be more gentle with your life. Alright, go for it, Harper. Look how pale that is. It was very white. I don't think I want to pop these pimply bags. Guys, if you find one of them, it shows up for two days after. Somebody. I don't understand how it's going to pop. Oh, gosh! Stop! Whoa. Watch your moon shoes. I can't believe you trusted Harper.
Whoa! The 360 no-scope was crazy. That was out of a movie, dude. Like, you're the villain. Stop! Somebody make an edit with the music behind it. What are you going to do? You going to hit her back? Yeah.
You just got flowers on your own floor. Yeah, those are Kate's flowers. Oh, great. Now I made all the women mad at me. Yeah. You threw her gifts. I threw her presents. I threw her gifts. And I think they're actually Kate's flowers. Honestly, am I even mad at you? Like, I could low-key be chill with you and stuff.
stuff like it's like no no bro bro maverick the other day he said he said bro no me and harvard we're like chill he did i have no context he's like no we're chill no no we're like he actually said that's just how we hang yeah he said he said no me harvard's hang like that what does that mean yeah i was on the podcast because i was like oh yeah i had a huge crush on maverick and all that
I missed that episode. I'll have to go back and watch it. No, no, no. It's terrible. Someone needs to watch it to make sure that episode is okay to put out. It got weird. I know. I was forced to say these things. Forced to say what? That's how she's protecting herself. No, seriously. Hey, you signed an NDA. I know. Yes, I did. I signed multiple things, and I just made sure that nobody would actually think that, and I just said some branch...
Ratchet? Ratchet? Ratchet? What were you trying to say? Ratchet. I think she was trying to be like, listen, it was all controller tangled up. No, no, no. Yo! Do you remember that? Remember we were like, Harper, make up a slang word. Oh, yeah, but that's my controller. What? Oh, wait, wait. I can't get you out of there. What? What? What?
when like the controls tangled though it was something like that no remember we were like Harper come up with a new slang word and then I remember you came in my first TikTok and you were like you put that in my account what the heck
Why does he sound like that? Yeah, no. Why'd you hide? Do you guys know how many times a day Cash will come into my room and, like, our room? Yeah, I was like, wait a second. No. Come into our room. No, it's her room. She don't let me have nothing in there. No, but yeah, I do remember that. It's not our bed sheets. Flowers all over the place. It's not mine. Wait, I ask him. I make sure I say, Cash, we can do what you want with this room. And he's like, I don't care. Oh, that's bullcrap. We can do what we want. That's like me, like, being like, oh.
Okay, I don't know a good scenario, but no. That's hypothetical or rhetorical. It's like you being like, Kate, I'd really like you to come play basketball with me. Yeah, it's like, it's a stupid... I don't know if it's hypothetical or rhetorical, but it's a stupid question. Or being like, Kate, really, which gun do you want me to buy? Anyways, as I was saying, Cash comes into the room screaming all the time because he'll be talking to Averick. Averick? Averick? Me? Oh, oh. You're trying to say my brother's name. Maverick. Maverick.
Here it is here it is here it is look So much younger I just dazzled my controller It got 1.3 million likes
Go 1.3 million likes? No. Okay, we get it. She put that in my controller. What? She put that in my controller. Wait, the controller kind of matches Cassius' hat, though.
- It comes in a... - I should five star you. - Five star me. - That's Alyssa Violet used to be your chick. - Wait, I was gonna... - Yeah, on my team. - Those cars like yours, man, that were just loaded. - Got tattoos on your leg 'cause you knew it was loaded. - I have a movie set your fans watch with your babysitters. - What? - I try to be a model. I don't know the rest, okay. - But it's something baby sister.
Guys, you know what happened the other day? Yeah, what? Wait, wait, wait. Say that, but you were about to say something I do every day when I walk in your room. Yeah, sorry. I was interrupted and I forgot about that.
Call team 10 because you take me for some of your friends. That's true. And then it's contract time. You know what's crazy? Also true. I never knew when he was like, because you couldn't sign the Dolans. I never knew he was talking about the Dolan brothers. The Dolan twins? Yeah, I never knew that. You know, Dolan twins and Jeffrey, I was about to say, yeah, Dahmer, but Jeffrey Star. Dahmer? Two different guys. Two very different people. No, but they, one time, the Dolan, I used to see them. I said, guys, what?
today we have deathly drummer filming this youtube video with us we name him deathly donner he likes to be called deathly donner we don't know why no but when did like he killed him on the set oh gosh like uh what's that what's like five nights at freddy's five nights at
I never played that game. One of my favorite clips from the podcast is when Harper is like sitting next to Anna McNulty and she goes, if you were to cut through someone's body, it'd be like, I was like, could I put you in a suitcase and cut you in half with a chainsaw? It's a magic trick I do. And she was like, no. And Harper is like, if you cut through somebody's body.
She's like, if you cut through somebody's body in a suitcase, first you'd be the suitcase and be like, and then you get to their flesh and you'd be like, and then you get to their bones and be like, Oh my gosh, Harper. That is my favorite clip of you ever. And then Anna McNulty's like, Yeah, she's just like, I'm getting into the suitcase.
No, you know what's funny? My favorite clip from that movie or that... Hey! Hey! Dude, don't freak out. Don't freak out. No, but what's it called? No, but do y'all remember? It's not that funny. No, no, but... Yeah? No, do y'all... Stop! Stop!
and they're just destroying them. Y'all know when I say everything gets destroyed here? I'm not lying. I look up at my light fixture today and there's a whole light bulb missing because Maverick broke it. Yeah. That has been...
That has been like that for like two months now. Yeah, and I don't understand why you wouldn't just say, hey, Kate, I broke this. You want to order a new light bulb? Because you've been mad. So I figured, let's see how long she would actually notice. Because you're probably doing something dumb. I'm doing something I do with your husband all the time. Yeah, and I think that things he does are dumb too. Yeah, I don't like that phrase. I'm doing stuff with your husband like I do all the time. I don't like that phrase. Don't say that.
No, but once again, I remember I was talking about steak on the podcast with Anna and I was like, yeah, I want a steak with blood pouring out of it and her face was like terrified. She was like terrified. Yeah, I think you were like, are you a vegan? And then I was like, well,
am i saying you had to play before this but she's the healthiest person i know she was like she had all those grilled chicken nuggets and all that i was like i was like what yeah she didn't get the fried chicken like the rest of us yeah i got the fried chicken so i remember one day this was like seven years ago i was like i'm gonna be healthy i was like 15 and i was like so i went to chick-fil-a and i was at the mall and i was like i'm not gonna order the fried one give me the grilled
And I tried it. It was like nasty. Never ate it again. Did you go back and get fried? I don't know. Sorry, that was a pointless story. I don't know why I said that. It was actually really funny. Try to put your pinky down and keep it down without bending any of your other... What the... How is Maverick... No, you can't let that up. Because I'm a man of many talents. Look, look. What the heck?
Did you just make this up? Because I don't feel like it's very hard. No, it's very hard. I can't do it. You can't move your fingers? I can't do it. No, wait. Okay, I can hold it down, and then it doesn't stay down. Harper, your posture is killing me. Oh, my gosh. Just sit straight. Look how tall you get. Look at that. Wow, you do get so tall. Holy cow. You're actually tall. I'm tall.
It makes me so sad seeing how, like, grown Harper looks now. I know. I don't like it. I want to be small. It just was, like, a year ago. You looked, like...
I'm Pookie. Oh. Now you got the whole squad laughing, Kate. Ew, that's what guys used to say to me. They're like, you got the whole squad laughing. Like, it made me so mad because I know everybody laughed about it. I was like, what the heck? Everybody was laughing on the inside and I know it. I'm not going to lie. Nothing genuinely angers me more in life than when I say a joke and people are like,
Dude, that just wasn't funny. Like, what the frick were you thinking? Yeah, that's happened to me twice on this episode so far. It makes me mad when they're like almost insulted that you said it. They're like, why would you even say that? It's just like, I don't know. I just thought it was funny. Tell me about it. Yeah, but Cash, sometimes your joke's a little far. Sometimes you take your jokes far. Yeah, like when you were trying to touch me with your bare butt earlier, that wasn't funny. Hey, I thought we had an agreement. You don't live here yet.
You said once I live here. I was literally trying to look at the coloring on a video with Alex and we're on the computer going through it and Cash is going through it with us. All of a sudden, he turns around and he pulls his pants down and he's just backing his butt up to us. Because it's funny. I would simply jump out the window. You guys understand. I was at LA Fitness all the time. Every time I go to LA Fitness, bro, there's always an old man butt naked in the locker room next to you. And every time I laugh, I walk up there.
He has a butt. This guy who's at the urinal. It's just not funny. It's not. No, it is funny because five-year-olds, when they're at the urinals. That's funny. Girls probably don't know this, but little five-year-old boys, they just pull their pants all the way to their ankles. They don't give a frick. And they just pee right there. Everybody's just like, okay. Just missing the whole thing. Not even hitting the urinal. This is the first time in my life I saw someone above the age of six years old
pulled their pants all the way to their ankles to use the urinal. And it was this old man. He was probably like 60 and his pants were all the way down to the ground and he's using the urinal. I was like, yeah, go dude. You don't do that. This was like something you do. Uh huh. Seems like something you do. No, I don't do that. And the craziest part is there's a bunch of empty stalls. He could have used. I was like, what? No, my little,
Like, sorry, sorry, you go, you go. My little brother, when he was in T-ball, they used to call timeout and him and his friends would like run to the outfield and stand next to the fence and they would all just drop their pants and go to the back. It was so...
you though it's just such a little five-year-old to just run and they just accepted that like the whole early coaching they thought it was funny it was like a team they're like all right time out the boys gotta go and i just feel like there had to have been a bathroom that was probably closer than the back of the fence probably yeah yeah no these old tiktoks i'm looking through them i'm like at cash and kate's house um they're like i get secondhand embarrassment like what is this like the first time you ever came over yeah and like you were like katie
Yeah, I was like hi Katie. So sweet. It was so cute. Like what is this? But now I'm like looking at them and I mean like. No, it was cute. They got pretty good likes just like. Pretty good likes? That's all you care about is the likes? Harper's a stats girl. Hi. Harper tells me she's like the first thing I do in the mornings is I wake up and check our Spotify charts to see where we're at. I was like me too. Let's go Staggit. Yeah, so I. Staggit.
So I was, what's it called? I was literally looking at my things and I literally saw, like, literally we used to get, like. Okay. No more saying anything that starts with the letter L. Lickety-slut. I was literally like, literally like, literally like, literally like, literally like, literally like. Thank you so much for watching this episode, guys. Oh, never mind. What's it called? I'm Shadow Man on TikTok. Womp womp. No.
Also, make sure you guys, speaking of Spotify, go follow us on Spotify. Link's in the description. Please go follow us. We're trying to be the number one podcast on Spotify in the world. And right now we're 11 because we suck. And Harper's heart breaks every morning when she wakes up and see how far down we are on the charts. So do it for Harper. Yeah, please go subscribe to our Spotify LOL podcast and maybe like rate it, send it to your mom. Just let her play while you go to sleep. Yeah, take your mom's phone, take your dad's phone, subscribe on their phones. We'll see you guys next time. Peace out.