Maverick Needs Spinal Surgery!
40:43 Share

Let's talk about Maverick's disorder. He's crooked! Every podcast, y'all are like, oh, look at him. He's bent like this and he's so crooked like this. And I have to fall asleep on a mattress every night. ABC Wednesdays. Y'all complain all day. We want books. We want paper towels in the classroom. Bet you want razors too. I'm still working on the paper towels. Abbott Elementary returns with a new season. We asked the district for more after school programs. They gave us $50 for class beds instead.

Critics cheer. Abbott Elementary continues to be one of the funniest and most beloved shows on TV. What y'all doing out there? Taking bribes. Proud of y'all. Abbott Elementary, Wednesdays, 930, 830 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

This episode is brought to you by CarMax. Searching for your next car? Don't settle, thrive. At CarMax, it's easy to shop online or in person. With upfront pricing and tools designed to help, finding a car you love has never been easier. Plus, you can sell or trade in your current vehicle with an online offer in minutes. No strings attached. Start shopping now to find a car you'll love at CarMax.com. CarMax, the way it should be.

This is an ad for BetterHelp. Welcome to the world. Please, read your personal owner's manual thoroughly. In it, you'll find simple instructions for how to interact with your fellow human beings and how to find happiness and peace of mind. Thank you, and have a nice life. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with an owner's manual. That's why there's BetterHelp Online Therapy. Connect with a credentialed therapist by phone, video, or online chat. Visit

Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's BetterHelp.com. What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode with...

CJ and his gang. What's up, gang? How y'all doing? CJ, we're not a gang. Can you tell me what that stands for? CJ and his gang. CJ. Oh, CJ. CJ stands for Cash's Jewelry. Wait, they're singing. For the sake of my survival. Harper has the pointer. I know that song. Goosey Johnny.

Who sings that? Who sings that? Who sings that? Tell me, please. You idiot. Is that who sings it? Who sings it? Just tell me who sings it. Can you just tell me who sings it? Yeah, maybe you should say it that way.

Oh, that was so unfunny. Well, it would've been funnier if y'all would've like, just said it. Zach Ryan invited us on stage today with you to shut this man up. It would've been funnier if y'all would've just said his name. My survival. Alright, well, that's enough. Sanctify me. No. Put Johnny on the vinyl. Alright, now that we've lost all our viewers. It's a great song. Go subscribe. What?

No guys seriously please stop singing. Please. I hate singing. I'm not even gavin like when we sing our attention just goes I don't know that and we just opened up we just opened up our episode. No no that's when you sing. No nobody's here now. Well to bring retention back up I brought

You brought gifts? What? Actually? Well, only for the boys. It's only for the boys. Let's go! Let's go. Give me the gifts. Come on. Give me, give me. What is that? One is for Maverick and one is for Cash. This is so cute. What the heck is that? I love it. It says Cash and Maverick. Stop! Let me see, let me see, let me see. Let me see. Did you make those first? Why the frick is it pink and purple? No, you didn't make them. Wait, wait, hold on. I went to Hobby Lobby.

Ew! Can we protest? I protest. Somebody, everybody. It sounds fake. Everybody call me Boycott Cash until he stops farting. Stop! Stop blowing it! Stop! Yeah, everybody unfollow Cash until he stops farting. Okay, well you aren't getting your gift no more. Come on, give it to me. I didn't think Zach Bryan was cute before I went to his concert and now I think he's my celebrity crush. He has this sharp jawline. I thought he was like with the mewing on stage.

He has a square face, it's true. - He's a newbie master. And do you see him? I have him on a shirt he said he-- - What if we got him on the pod? - Hey, can I help him on GIF now? 'Cause I'm actually-- - Oh, she's just brushing his hair. - You were brushing his hair? - Yeah, she's-- - Give me, oh my gosh, fine. This one says Maverick, so it belongs to Mav. - Give me that, give me that. - How lucky are we? - This one says Cash and it's to Cash. - Very lucky, I got a bag. - All right, if it's not beef jerky in here, I'm gonna be quite sad. - Here we go. - Let's see. - What the frick is this?

- Where would I ever want this? - That's so cute! - Are we doing the makeup episode?

- I want you guys your own makeup bags so you can stop destroying ours. - What the? - Why? I don't use your makeup. - Yes you do, whenever you guys are like, "Let's do a makeup video." - That one has little cherries on it, it's so cute. - I know. - Is that used? - Yeah, why is mine half used? - Yeah. - Well, it's some of my old stuff. - Yeah, take it, take all you want. I don't want any of this crap. Take it. - What are you looking like? - Why do you look like Mr. Krabs? - Yeah, that's like me after somebody hits a pinata, bro. - What did I just do?

Did I get her? Maverick. What? No, you look good. Don't you worry, sweetheart. Well. Cash, back up. Oh, no.

That's not doing what you thought it would. No, it just kind of made me look glossy. Oh, is it gloss? That explains. Guys, okay. That's a cool gift and all. I got it because the boys are always like, let's do makeup challenges and they want to use our expensive makeup. Did you have a good time? Y'all are doing two different combos right now. Well, we were on makeup bags. We're over makeup bags.

He's over you. I got y'all a gift and y'all literally don't even appreciate it. I appreciate it. Wait, everybody shut up. Kinsey, what do you want? I want the cherry head thing. I just want to look at it. Look at it? Oh my gosh! That was crazy. So rude. My butt's itching again though, I will be for real. Hey, yo, you look like an Indian warrior. Give me that thing. Let me see, let me draw it on you. Wait, Maverick actually tells me that every time I do my makeup. You look like an Indian warrior. Yo.

This is insane. Sigma. I don't think that means what you think it does. I don't know what it means, man. You look like when, like those- I don't like this. You look like when those high school girls, like, all go to a football game. Oh, wait, what's that one YouTube girl's name that does the lipstick and she talks funny? Now say, Miranda Sings. Miranda Sings? Yes. Oh. Hey, guys. What?

I can't look at you. You're freaking me out. The last 10 minutes have been cut because Cash and Math have zero feelings and they don't realize that other people do have feelings. Welcome back. I don't know where we cut, but we're back, baby. We're back at Badder Than Ever. It's the most funny.

It's not that funny. It was hilarious. Listen, for some reason, women don't find actual funny things funny. Y'all find it offensive, and I don't get it. I thought it kind of funny. Thank you. You clearly found it funny. It's okay. I understand why it's like, why y'all would think that. Why they think it's not funny? You look like you're from The Lion King. Whoa, we might not be allowed to say that.

Nobody say anything. Guys, this is a lot of makeup. Okay. No, seriously. We don't have anything anymore in this freak country. Everything I say gets bleeped. Everything. Might as well move to Canada. No. That's even worse. Here's the thing, guys. What about my mic? Oh. Okay. Go ahead, Math. I was just going to try to change the subject and ask her about Zach Bryan and how it was. It was.

So much fun. Okay, that's great. What? Was there anything? Did you get noticed a lot? Oh, I was actually wondering that. It was insane. It was bad. Have a bunch of cute little cowboys wanting to take photos with you. Don't say cowboys. Don't say cowboys. Cowboys harass cows. They do. Y'all ever seen a rodeo? Aren't y'all cowboys? No. In my past life. No, but one time I rode with some sheep.

So wait, wait. What was the Zach Bryan concert like? It was like the fans were like, I'm not like being over-exaggerating. There was at least 400. Of Zach Bryan fans there? Yes. Zach Bryan had at least 400 fans. How many fans did you have there? Two. No, I don't deserve any of it.

I'm humble. Okay. I don't deserve any of these fans because y'all are too nice and too sweet. So let me get this straight. You went to a concert where some guy had all his fans show up, and then you showed up and said, I don't deserve this. You guys really shouldn't have showed up here for me. No. Like they paid to see you or something. So humble of you. There's like fans in Zach Brygons are asking for pictures of Harper. She's like, really? Y'all shouldn't have spent money on tickets to see me.

What are you doing? Let her do her thing. Am I allowed to get this dirty? It's Cash's makeup. No. Give me that. I was going to use that. Well, no. What I meant was like. Look at the stain on the couch. What stain? Can y'all see that? Okay. If they can't see it, it's good.

We're fine. Okay. Don't freak out. I'm not freaking out. It's not my couch. It's our couch. Stain it up. Those are some lashes. Okay. Continue. 400 fans. Yeah, there was like a 400 fans, but I'm not trying to say that's a lot because Zach Bryan had 90,000 fans there. 90,000? Okay. Was it at AT&T? AT&T, yeah. I don't think AT&T holds a 90,000. No, it holds like something like that. Look. It literally holds it around there. 90,000? It's the biggest AC room in the world.

In America, in the world. In the world. In the world. No way, really? Yeah. And Windstar is the biggest casino. Texas has two of the biggest things. And gas station, I'm pretty sure. How many? Everything's bigger in Texas. Windstar is not in Texas. Windstar is in Oklahoma. Oh, Windstar is in Oklahoma. How many seats are in the AT&T Stadium? It's like 80-something. I think it is like 80-something. It's 80-something for sure. Really? Dang. Was it sold out?

um no he had like 88 000 there but still it was insane but um were the people behind the stage oh no oh no no no but no it was so much fun and when zach ryan came on i was like i think i fell in love oh really yes i was like i was like did you tell him he said hey harper what's up i was like hi i think i'm in love with you and he was like okay let's get married y'all think i can punch through the tv go ahead and try

You're gonna get so much glass shards. Yes I do. We're having an aww. Don't punch through the artwork though. The artwork?

Everyone deserves a fast and reliable connection. One that helps better their everyday through the things they value most. Friends and family, education and career. A connection that opens pathways to opportunity and builds roads to a better future. At Spectrum, we're committed to delivering just that every single day. Because with the right connection, anything's possible. That's Life Unlimited. That's Spectrum.

Feel your max with Brooks running and the all new ghost max too. They're the shoes you deserve designed to streamline your stride and help protect your body. Treat yourself to feel good landings on an ultra high stack of super comfy nitrogen infused cushion that takes the edge off every step every day. The Brooks ghost max too. You know, technically they're a form of self care Brooks. Let's run there. Head to brooksrunning.com to learn more.

Jack in the Box knows sometimes you're in the mood for a burger and sometimes a bigger burger. Starting at $3.99, the bonus Jack combo at Jack in the Box gets you fries, a drink, and a burger with your choice of one, two, or three patties. At Jack, every bite's a big deal. Order now at Jack in the Box.

That's fan art. Thank you to whoever- Hey! Careful with the artwork, a fan made that. Yeah! Okay. I'll hold on to that. Baptize me in a bottle of- Oh, it says her name! Yeah! I'm gonna start farting every time y'all say something. It's such a recognized, like, it's so- it's a classic song. The LOL-

Don't think they know how to spell podcast POD AST do you know how to spell podcast? Oh, yeah, I guess I am wrong. This is from Gracie G. See she has a cool name It's yeah, why can't y'all call me CJ because CJ is just not make any sense, honey You look you're more like CB. Okay. Well if I open up a jewelry store, it's gonna be called CJ cash is jewelry. Oh

Well, are you planning on opening a jewelry store anytime soon? Maybe because if you grab the jewelry store from other people's jewelry store and resell it, high profit. You mean stealing? No. CJ would never steal. You're making a profit? Hey, CJ. Oh, what was that? What did you spray me with?

Whoever painted this actually kind of nailed it. They did a good job. But most importantly right now, you're about to punch through that TV. Not whoever. Gracie painted it. Stop. I'm serious. Whoa, why did he sound like a dad? I know that's an eye. Did you see the fear in her eyes when I said it? After the last episode, she was like, stop. Don't say that. Harper. What the heck was that noise? Are we still recording? Check the mics there and make sure we're still recording. Hello?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that's the noise before the freaking another country invades us. Yeah, I think that was before the Purge. That has to be the noise before Newt goes off. Maverick actually acts like a dad in that moment. Stop! Stop! Stop, Harper. Stop! Is that what your dad says? Stop, Harper. Stop, Harper. Hey, Cash, go.

Smash the TV. CJ, smash it. Wait, hold up. Are you really gonna... Do we really need to cut what I said? Yes. No. What I just said again. What'd you just say? I literally... What? I missed it. I'm just... I'm just asking a question. It's things that are not culturally appropriate. I said... It makes you look like a horrible person and it makes you look like an idiot. I don't know. Let's just move on.

Alright, we're moving on. Cash said something again that needed to be cut. Cash said, never said nothing that needs cut, but apparently everything gets cut. Yeah, because some of us have a moral conflict. I don't understand. You know what has to get cut if you say it, and then you continue to say it and act shocked when we want to cut it. Ah, please! Thank you. Those poor girls. It's right in the fire. The baby!

You smell bad. Okay, here we go. Wait, hold on. No, we can't continue with this face looking at me like that. It's not looking at you. It's not, and that's what's concerning. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I got this. No, I got this. I got this. Guys. I know what to do. Kate. Vina, Maverick are happy over here. Look, now you're hitting her with stuff. No, I'm not hitting her. Are you going to pick up her Hydrojet? Katie, remember why you married him.

What was that? Money. What? I'm kidding. Money. Why are you mad? Remember. You're being so obnoxious. Remember how much you love him. The amount of time people tell me that in my life. And forgive him. Cash, you're being obnoxious. Cash, stop being annoying. Cash, be quiet. Take a hint, dude. Does it make you give up on life? Yeah, it makes me. You know what it makes me want to stop doing? Talking.

And I understand that. Did you see the face he made at you for a second? He went, my eyebrow was caught in my lid of my hat. Okay, hold on. I gotta cheer Kate up. Let me cheer Kate up. Hold on. Go give me a make-up. That's not working this time. No, it works every time. Go give me a make-up wipe. Enough, enough, I said. Enough, enough. I'm glad y'all see how weird she is.

You just got caught. Guys, I am a weird girl in retirement. Enough, enough, I said. Yes, I said. I'm secretly a retired weird girl with no friends. Hey, go get me a makeup wipe. Me? You're talking to me?

Go get me a makeup wipe. Stay firm. Get me a makeup wipe. Oh, you want a makeup wipe? Oh, okay. Sit down! I'm so scared for what he's bringing back. We're out of makeup wipes, so I am really curious. Whatever he brings you, I would not use. I won't. I'm scared. The cash is nothing. The podcast is nothing? Listen, Harper, I personally...

No. The podcast is not a podcast. Take his jug. I worked very hard on those makeup bags and nobody cares about my makeup bags I got. Okay. Did you drop it? What? Well, that's a waste. That's such a waste. No, I didn't do it. There we go. No, you didn't. Why would you do that?

You want me to help you hold him down? Yes. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was insane. Don't do that. Why are you... We are laughing, Kate. Have you ever heard of a joke? Do you think my acne's laughing? No. No, it's not. Kate, why are you out? Everyone's laughing. No, because that's so rude. You literally just... Enough! Enough, I say! You spit on her face, Josh. No, I spit on there and then rubbed it on her face. She literally spat on me. She deserved it.

She spit on me last episode. You didn't say nothing. No, I did. I said something to all of you guys. Okay, well, listen. How about, look, okay. You can't spit on a sheet and just put it on my face like that. It's not cool. You see us, Kate? We're very happy. Look. I'm sure that couch smells really good. Go for it, Harper. Don't hurt her. He's got me in a vulnerable situation. Spit on him, Harper. Spit on him.

Oh that smells bad. You're disgusting. Oh my god that smells.

That's horrible. That's actually horrible. I don't know what I ate today, guys. I'm so sorry for that. I had a rice cake today. That's it? Mm-hmm. Oh, my gosh. We have snacks downstairs. Kate, what are you doing? I'm texting. Why are you mad? I'm not mad. I'm trying to help Harper. What do you mean? I just texted Kate to bring a makeup remover so she can get it off her face because look at what she's doing. She's trying to get it off. Oh, okay.

Come sit, come sit guys. There's always a seat here. Yeah, you always got a spot here on the Great Divide. I don't know if I want to get on my new shirt though. Oh, okay, that's fine. Alright, sit here then, sit here. Here, I'll scoot over you. No, we're having it on. You would do that? Alright, can we get back to the episode here, guys? Oh, the mic's unplugged. Oh, great, the mic came unplugged. This is great. Here, let me have a cast reset.

Yeah, just just hard cut. No, just put this in 2x for like 10 seconds. No, it's fine. Can you hear me? Why doesn't he picked up? Can you hear me? It's literally an episode, Kate. She's really trying to clean up the sad mid-episode. That is kind of crazy. I'll get on and sit on the cash stereo. All right, guys, we're back. We had to do a brief intermission because the mic came unplugged, but we are back. During that intermission, we discovered Kate is still mad at me. Kate? Kate?

As a cleaning disorder. Yeah, we cut for like literally 30 seconds to plug a mic in and Kate was like, I'm cleaning. What? Oh my gosh, Kate, you're making me look like a bad husband here. Maybe you just smile at him every once in a while. Yeah, he's giving you a smile. Never mind. Put it away, put it away. No, it's just that... It's not a dissenter. No. Yeah, no, everyone likes to act like I'm out of my mind. What would you call it, Kinsey? Cleanliness.

Mmm. You wanna know what's clean? Okay, look. This is the difference between- No! See! It's like five! Why did it sound like you spit? I don't know. That one was a weird noise. Ew. Well- Go over there! I don't care at this point. Hey! Yeah? It's not your fault. It's a disorder. And Kate has a cleaning disorder. I have- What's wrong with me? I don't have a cleaning disorder. You? You have no uterus.

Okay, and what do you want with you? You have a eating disorder. I don't have an eating disorder. Are you okay after that? Yeah. She's fine. Let's talk about Maverick's disorder. What? He's crooked. I'm not crooked. That's crazy. Y'all see that? She fights fire with fire. Yeah. You are kind of crooked though. I'm not. It's

I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jost. And we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big secret. Well, now you gotta give the people something. No, I'm not saying a word. Oh, then people won't know to tune in. Come on, tell them a little. Like how we're hosting a comedy event streaming only on Peacock? Exactly. Or how it's called New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features drop-in comics? Boom! You nailin' it, dude. I have Michael Che's phone number. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing. And it's streaming now. Only on Peacock. You love it.

This episode is brought to you by Opel, the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. Opel is FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free. Plus, there's no prescription needed. Finally, the days of needing a prescription for birth control are over. Opel is available online and at most major retailers. Take control of your health and reproductive journey with Opel. Birth control in your control. Use code birth control for 25% off your first month of Opel at opel.com.

It's a fine thing. His nose is crooked. His back is crooked. How is his nose crooked? You can't call my back crooked, Miss C. My back's not crooked. It's curved.

That's the fact. Mine's just curved. What? Well, I don't care. I'm sorry, Kate. I'll buy you new. No, you're fine. You really shouldn't be mean to me about my back. Yeah, his back is something he can't fix. You can fix your posture. She can't fix it. She doesn't have a uterus, but you still said that. That was too far. You went way too far. Yeah, that was mean. That was crazy to say after today. What? That was pretty crazy to say. Okay, so finally, if you're going to bring it up, today was an emotional day.

He called his mom. She brought it up, not me. Yeah. Okay, well, I was about to get more emotional because we're going to talk about Maverick's problems. What? Who would like to go next? I don't have problems. Wait, is this an emotional episode? I should probably step off. I don't do very well in these.

Are you going to cry? People normally make fun of me because I make jokes. I did not know that we were going to talk about stuff this episode. Well, I wasn't going through it until she said that. Wait, what's emotional? It was an emotional day. Are you seriously okay? No, I'm okay. I'm fine. She cried all day. She's a liar. I know. What was the emotional day? Nothing. Go. Go? Okay, go. Go. You say something else that doesn't involve that. Well, you brought it up. What happened? Okay, no, moving on. We're moving on. No, we're moving.

I comforted her like a great fiance. Did you guys get denied from first time homebuyers loan or something? No. Oh. Geez, man. Well, good news is Harper's face is looking normal again. It's not looking clear, so I'm going to need to have some concealer. There's an elf camel concealer in that pile somewhere. Camel. Do you need like a camera or something? I'm sorry I joked about your UD.

Like that. Gosh, just don't call me that. And I'm sorry I joked about your cleaning disorder. It's not a disorder. And I'm sorry I joked about your gas. That's okay. I forgive you. I'd like an apology from everybody else. Harper, you can go first. As long as we've all accepted that my gas can't be helped. No, no. Oh! It's just it cannot be real. No!

Every time I get shot. Cash, you're gonna like actually poop your pants on the episode one day. There's no way he didn't, Josh. Like he literally pushes with everything in his stomach. Matt, can you check me? That thing was wet. That was disgusting. Come check me, man. Insane. Matt, you're gonna have to come check me. Get over here, bud. Come check me. No.

Uh-uh. Come check me. Just stand up. I'm sure it's dripping down your leg. That's disgusting. You know what's crazy? I know y'all think those farts are edited, but they're not. It's 100% real. Now, come here so they can hear you talk. I can't sit over there. Come on. It's gone now. No, it's not. Gosh. Can you check me? You look great. Except that. What the frick is that? What's what? That. Oh!

It's when I fell in the episode earlier, but apparently the cameras were rolling. I fell into the wall, but the cameras weren't rolling. What are we talking about? Oh yeah, my gas. Kate, can you apologize? Yeah, and I needed an apology. Kate, apologize for my gas. Your gas? Yeah. I'm sorry. For making fun of it.

I'm not sorry I make fun of it because it's atrocious and he forces it out. No, I don't force it. We're having a... If y'all wonder what I... And I didn't say anything about your scoliosis. You did. I didn't. You make fun of me all the time. I don't. Sometimes she walks in my room and she's like... I don't do that. They're literally trying to make me sound like I'm some crazy woman. That's what you do. Sometimes she comes in with a tank of gas and she's like, here you go, Cash.

Yes, because I carry a tank of gas. But she does make fun of my crooked back. Oh my gosh, I do that. She does do that. What is she? A pretty woman? Why are you making me sound like I'm crazy? Oh, it's almost like when you were trying to make it sound like we wrote the same song as Zach Bryan and we didn't. Yes, we did. You said shit on my back. That does not have anything to do with it. Yeah, sometimes we like to make things up now, don't we? Well, you did use the same exact line as Zach Bryan. No, I didn't. Not gonna lie, they did talk to me on the way to the shoot. Mm-hmm.

Zach Bryan talk to you? Yes. Oh, what did he say? Okay, we've already been over this map. Nothing. She's making it up, man. Go ahead, what'd he say? I'm not making up what Kate does. They are. And literally, I'm not a mean person. Kate's a nice person. Most of the time, but there is moments. I literally just realized what our setup here is. Them two...

There's trash everywhere. What do you mean? Mav, me and Mav are the brothers. Instigators, if you will. Okay? Kinsey's the dad. What? Kate's the mom, and Harper's the little sister. Think about it. Every time I try to do something to Harper, Kate yells at me. Is that? Think about that. She's like, Cash, don't do that. Don't do that to Harper.

And then Harper does something to me, she doesn't care. And then Kenzie's like, kinda will get involved sometimes on it, but like, if somebody's really gonna be emotional and cry- well, maybe not this episode, but, uh, yeah, it's like, y'all don't- does anybody agree with me here? Nope. You- smell like my foot. Why are you standing like a monkey?

Don't laugh at that, Kate. You're just going to encourage it. Don't encourage that behavior. Encourage what? It's not funny. What do you mean encourage? What does she mean encourage what? Harper's literally redoing her makeup mid-episode. I can't look like this on the episode. You look so good. Shut up. Please tell me you're joking. Oh, you look good. I promise. Oh my gosh, you actually are redoing... That's my phone. You're using my phone as a camera? Yeah, she's doing her makeup because you guys drew all over it. Because you literally spit.

What the heck? That was not okay. No, seriously, what the heck is wrong with you? Why the heck would you spill my- You freak! Okay. What are you gonna do about it? Kill you. Get the chainsaw. Okay. What the heck? That was terrifying. That was actually terrifying. She actually looked like Chucky there for a second. Kill you!

I just made the sponge on accident. You made what?

Doesn't matter. She ate the sponge. SpongeBob. All right. SpongeBob. Let's talk about something. That's actually what I'm going to do now. I'd still like my apology. Oh, my gosh. Can you girls just apologize to him? I didn't say anything. I'm not apologizing. All the names you call me, Squiggly. Only facts were said. I do not call you that name. I don't call you any name. I call you Maverick. She calls me Mr. Squigs all the time. I don't. I wouldn't even come up with that. Mr. Squigs. That's a good one. I didn't come up with that.

Sorry for calling you an ugly squiggly boy. One time Kate said it looks like God scribbled on your back. That is...

She said that. I would never say such things. Because he has scoliosis. Scoliosis. Dumb butt. I'm getting real tired of no one taking it seriously. Huh? Nobody takes my condition serious. I do, Maverick. That's why I don't say anything. It's a serious disability. Y'all know it's actually serious. Like, I'm going to have to be. Yes, and that's why I don't make jokes and y'all are making it sound like I do. It's not my, like, y'all always make fun of like, oh, look at Maverick do the limbo. Oh, look at Maverick do this.

It's not my choice. No, we weren't making fun of your back. No, you weren't making fun of my back because I don't bend the correct way. And my arms are too long and my legs are too long and my spine is all short because it's crooked. And you guys just make fun of me. No, I don't. Every episode. Oh, he looks like a cyber truck. That's literally what you said. No, that was just when you tried to do a back bend because your knees were straight. No, because your knees were straight, dude. I had to sleep at night with these things just ringing in my head.

Dude, don't act like this is emotional for you. You know you laugh at it. It is emotional because it's a serious thing. It's a serious thing that I have to live with every day. I have scoliosis and I never told y'all. Oh, we already knew. You sit like a C. C? Yeah, now you're making her back issues. No, because her back issue, she doesn't actually have scoliosis. Mav. I do actually. We've talked about it several times. Why don't you just go to the doctor? If I go to the doctor, then they're just going to tell me that I have to have surgery. Yeah, what do you think of that?

Then he'll have surgery. But he'll be in pain when he's 50. He'll have pins in his head. He might have surgery and he might be in pain. I don't think y'all understand what the surgery means. If I have to have the surgery, I won't be able to do anything. I literally won't be able to do anything. I'll have to relearn how to walk. My hips and my back will all be tied into one. I won't even be able to tie my shoes anymore. I can tie your shoes for you. I won't be able to do anything.

I'll be able to walk up the stairs and stuff, but my hips and back and neck are all one. I'm a straight board. Well, do you want to get the surgery? No, that's why I haven't gone to the doctor. Oh. Well, you know if you get the surgery, you'll have a halo. No, that's only for kids that are trying to get their back straight, I think, or something. I won't do the halo thing, but it's still like- Jamie and Jackson have that. I have to learn how to walk again. It's a big thing. It's not just like I can just do it.

Y'all act like I should just go get the surgery and it'd be fine and fix. It's not easily fixed like that. I don't know what to say. Wait, are you actually? Y'all don't understand. Like it's always there. Wait, I thought you were joking this whole time. No, y'all always are making fun of how crooked I am all the time. Every time, every podcast y'all are like, Oh, look at him. He's, he's bent like this and he's so crooked like this. And I have to fall asleep on a mattress every night, sit in the same way because I can't sleep.

Are you messing with us? No, I'm serious. He's messing with us, guys. I can't even take you guys serious. Is he being serious, Kenzie? Mav, are you okay? I'm fine. I just don't, like, it's like every episode. And y'all don't act like it's serious at all. And then y'all are like, well, just go get the surgery. You're just being lazy. Go get the surgery and you can be straight. You don't understand, like, if my back is straight, like, I can't live life like I do right now. I can't do backflips anymore. I can't do anything.

Wait, okay, first of all, I am really sorry. Like, I truly... Oh my gosh, he's actually crying. No, I'm not crying. No, I never had... I can see the tears. Yeah, I get you. I'm fine. Cash, no, Cash, seriously, we're being serious right now.

Okay, I'm serious. I'm fine. I just feel like nobody understands. I know, but I'm just saying I am handsome. Very. But that's not the point. Wait, Mav, no, I'm okay. Are you seriously being serious? No, no, no. If you're going to cry on the episode, let them see. What? I'm sorry. Sorry. What? What?

Cash, can you be serious for two seconds? I told you I shouldn't be here if there's going to be a motion. What? Yeah, good. Or come sit here and we'll cut you out of camera. Okay, but no, Mav. Mav, seriously, I am, like, truly sorry if, like, the things we've said on the episode have actually hurt you.

No, it's fine. I know I personally have never had any ill intent to like genuinely upset you. No, I don't. I don't really care. You said you fall asleep at night. Well, no, it's like I'm just saying like when y'all act like it's like an easily fixable thing and like it's not shouldn't be a problem. Like it's not easily fixable. Like I just don't complain about it all the time. There's no point.

Y'all didn't hurt my feelings. I'm just saying, like, y'all always talk, like, oh, like, just go to the doctor and get the surgery. But it's not like I can just go. Like, y'all don't think I think about that, like, all the time. Like, I do. But it's, like, it's going to change my entire life. And it's not just, like, something I can just do. And it's a very expensive surgery. It is expensive. So make sure to subscribe so we can afford it. Cash. Cash. I'm not saying that in, like, a mean way. I'm literally just, I'm going to, I'm leaving.

I admit that in a good way. I'm staying. I'm staying and I'm going to be good. I just said... I'm fine. I just like... Are you okay? It's just like not knowing like even if it's going to make me feel better or anything like that after. Yeah. It's just like a thing that I like. I mean, I've thought about it for like 10 years. Like I know it's coming. It's just a matter of when I have to get the surgery. So I just don't really want to like... I don't want to talk about it anymore. We can talk about something else. When the time comes, you have...

At least me. And if we're still living with Kate and Cash, then they'll have... Will you change my diapers? You won't need diapers. I will. You're not going to need diapers. I can't get up and go to the bathroom. Stop joking around. I'm being serious. Someone will have to change them. Well, um... Okay, if it comes to that, yes, I'll change your diapers. You will. And Cash will carry you up the stairs. No problem. Not the diapers. So whatever reason you can't walk for a little while, we'll put you in a wheelchair and I'll dance in a wheelchair with you.

That sounds horrible. Maybe don't say it like that next time. I'll be in a wheelchair. Well, if you can't walk for a little bit, but you're going to learn to walk, it's going to be fine. I don't want to be in a wheelchair. But you would learn to walk again. Dude, it would be the best option for you. And it's like, I don't know. I mean, I know it's easy for us to all say just like, oh, it won't be as scary. But obviously, you're the one that's going to have to undergo a super intense surgery and completely change your body.

But, I mean, I think you know that, like, you have all of us. And you have great parents that would help you in any way. But, and you're going to have a wife soon that will help you. It'll be fine. It's just like, you know, it's just one of those things in life that's just like, you don't plan for it. And it's like, not supposed to be like this. But God built you to have scoliosis. No, he didn't. No. No.

I'm sorry, but he didn't. And you were just born like that. Thank you. That was really sweet. I mean, I think we know that God didn't build you with scoliosis. What? No, okay. I'm not a Lego set. That's not what I meant. Why is Cash crying? Why is Cash... Wait, honey, what happened? Why are you upset now, too? He cares about you. It almost looks like it. Whoa.

Is that why you wanted to walk off a minute ago? Yeah. Wait, no, Cash, stay here. I know why he's crying. Why? It's because after I get the surgery, I will be taller than him. I need to go check on him. Hold on. He's very self-conscious. He wants to be the tallest person in the room. If y'all haven't noticed, Mav deflects any sadness or pain or anything with jokes. Okay.

It's gonna be okay. It's okay. It's fine. Guys, I don't know. Surgery or no surgery, it'll be okay. It's fine. I mean, I know that, like... You always have me. No, I won't. It's true. When we get divorced one day, there'll always be Harper. What? Sorry, what? What did you just say? I saw that cut. She's a child.

What would you do? We're not getting divorced. I'm just kidding. We're not getting divorced. No, it's a joke. I really am sorry for like anything that we've said that's upset you. No, y'all didn't upset me. Y'all are fine. It's just like one of those things I just don't like to think about. Let's not play with the lighter. Yeah, I know. Is Cash coming back? I don't, I mean, I talked to him, but I think he just wants a minute. What's wrong with him? He's just a little, I don't know. I mean, I know I've talked to Cash about it before, just because it's been in conversation, like it'd be crazy if you got the surgery and stuff.

But we've talked about how it would, like, change your life and stuff. And, like, obviously, as your brother, like... Just knowing, like, the rest of my life, like, I won't be able to tie my shoes is, like, just going to be, like, frustrating. Yeah. And I think that that's why he's kind of upset is because he... I mean, obviously, it's cash. He doesn't show his emotions like that. But, like, he has... But, like, me and him do everything together. We play basketball together. Jiu-jitsu. Like, we just are always, like, wakeboarding together. And we'll be able to do jiu-jitsu together. Yeah. Like, it'll be just him by himself, too. So, I know it affects him, too. But...

Well, not the way it affects you, but I think it really does scare him, the thought of you going through that as his brother. Some of those things I could still do, but it's, like, a risk because, like, if my back, one of the screws, like, pops loose, then I'll be, like, paralyzed. And, like, if I'm paralyzed in the middle of the lake, that's, like, not a good place to be. Yeah. I could drown. Yeah, that could happen. Yeah.

You could drown. That's true. I just swallowed this lip stuff and it's hurting. Oh, yeah, that's plumping. It'd make me happy if you like took a bite of the lipstick. I'll do it for you. Thank you. Shut up. It'd just make me feel better. Shut up. Just do a ton of things that make Mav laugh. Yeah, please. Yeah, you can like bring the vibe back up. I'll go check on Cash. Maybe get some ASMR on it. Do it for Mav.

D-I-F-M. Do it for Mav. That should be the hashtag. Everybody, please just bite your lipstick. He was just crying a minute ago, honey. Everybody post videos of you biting your lipstick and I'll try to like them if you tag me. Okay. D-I-F-M. Do it for Mav. Inspirational. Oh. Oh. Oh, I'm glad that happened.

Oh, it's stuck in there. Oh, you look like you have bloody teeth. Oh, let me see. Oh, do it for Mev. Yeah, I'm fine. D-I-F-N. Well, Mev, I mean... I'm sorry. Well, this episode went sideways. Get it? Cash. Really? Okay, no. His eyes went crooked. Yeah, I just said that. You're good now.

All right, switch me seats, Robert. Switch me seats. I'm sorry. It's fine. You still want this? Mm-hmm. Oh, Cash, are we gonna, do you wanna just move on from the fact that you had a little... What? My feet are getting hot. Okay, I'm not gonna sit here on the episode and talk about crime, okay? My feet are getting hot. Well, can you just admit that it scares you? What? Can you just admit that the thought of Maverick having to get that surgery scares you? It doesn't scare me. Then why did you cry about it?

If you're going to keep pointing it out, I'm not going to be on the episode right now. It feels like I'm on fire, guys. My feet hurt really bad. That works, I guess. I feel like we're just going to let this go like it was nothing, but you're truly a crooked person, and I feel bad. Crooked person? You'll be stealing things? Harper, we just talked about how the jokes upset him. The jokes upset him, so let's try to limit them. Where did that come from?

Is that sand? That's gonna be in my nostrils. - No, put it in my nose! - Oh, it's in my nostrils! Thank you guys for watching, we'll see you next time, bye!